Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.12 “Duty Calls”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

The season continues!  Can the Bulls hold on to their undefeated record?

Episode 4.12 “Duty Calls”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on December 21st, 1988)

Considering all of the time that I’ve spent complaining about how there’s usually very little continuity from one 1st & Ten episode to another, I really do have to start this review by giving this show some credit. This episode actually follows up on something that happened a few episodes ago. Harley (Ken Morrison), the kid that Dr. Death befriended in “Injustice for All,” shows up at Bulls Stadium and tells Dr. Death that his mother has abandoned him yet again.

Dr. Death tracks Frankie (Beth Broderick) down at a biker bar and tells her that she needs to go home and take care of her son. It turns out that Frankie hasn’t even told her new boyfriend, Deacon (John Benjamin Martin), that she has a son. When Deacon finds out, he’s offended that Frankie wasn’t honest with him. He explains that bikers are all about family. If Frankie has a son, that means all of the other members of the motorcycle gang have a son as well.

(While it’s easy to scoff at this episode’s mawkish dialogue and its simplistic handling of what looks to be a case of massive parental neglect, I do have to say that my Dad had his share of biker friends and, underneath their admittedly rough exterior, they were some of the nicest people that I have ever met.)

While Dr. Death is fixing a family, Gail (Shanna Reed) and TD Parker (OJ Simpson) are trying to motivate the team to win their 11th game by offering them a $900,000 bonus if they secure a victory. This gets Gail in trouble with the rest of the league’s owners, all of whom are worried that Gail’s bonus is going to harm their bottom line. Gail’s boss, Mr. Medford (Monte Markham), thinks that it’s a great idea.

That said, the Bulls are going to have a tough game. Two Miami gamblers (one of whom is played by a youngish Chazz Palminteri) bribe the temperamental chef at Bubba and Jethro’s bar to give the Bulls food poisoning! On the morning of the game, all of the players are feeling sick and — ugh — flatulent. Will the Bulls still be able to win the game?

Yes, they do.

How do they win the game? I have no idea. Coach Denardo yells at them and then, one jump cut later, we see that the Bulls are ahead on the scoreboard. All of the players are still sick and constantly having to run off the field, but somehow they still crush their opponents. Maybe they were just playing a really bad team….

(For a show about a football team, it’s always interesting how little time 1st & Ten devotes to things like strategy or play calling. We’re told that Coach Denardo is one of the best, but it’s rare that we ever actually see him coaching.)

As nice as it was to see Dr. Death reuniting Harley with his mother, the rest of this episode was pretty much the epitome of everything that bothers me about this show. Who are the two gamblers who poisoned the entire team? The episode keeps things vague, and I imagine that we’ll never hear about either one of them again. The gamblers will vanish, just like the team’s female placekicker vanished after appearing in one episode. There really aren’t any stakes in 1st & Ten because most storylines get abandoned only a few minutes after they start.

Oh well. At least OJ Simpson always killed it in the role of TD Parker. This episode finds OJ — or actually, TD, but we all know TD might as well be named OJ — talking about the beauty of an undefeated season. Maybe that’s why the team won. They knew better than to get on OJ’s bad side.

Next week: The march to the championship game continues!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.6 “Soap Gets in Your Eyes/A Match Made in Heaven/Tugs of the Heart”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Soon we’ll be making another round….

Episode 8.6 “Soap Gets in Your Eyes/A Match Made in Heaven/Tugs of the Heart”

(Dir by Bruce Bilson, originally aired on October 20th, 1984)

Years ago, Gopher asked Leslie Palmer (Dianne Kay) to marry him. Leslie turned him down, breaking his heart. At the time, she said that Gopher just wasn’t mature enough to marry.  He had no direction in his life.

This week, when Leslie boards the Pacific Princess, she sees that Gopher has grown up.… well, at least a little. As Gopher explains it, he has an important job, a nice salary, and a good pension. “People call me sir,” he says, and Fred Grandy delivers the line with just enough sheepishness that one gets the feeling he’s just as surprised as anyone by the fact that he’s finally gotten his life together. When Gopher again asks Leslie to marry him, she says yes.

Oh my God! First Julie got married and now Gopher! Is there going to be anyone left on the ship?!

Well, hold on. Leslie may accept Gopher’s proposal, but later she has a breakdown and apologizes. Leslie says that she loves Gopher but, “I’m not in love with you.” It turns out that Leslie is pregnant and she accepted Gopher’s proposal so her child would not be born out of wedlock. Gopher is surprisingly forgiving.

This was actually a sweet story, largely due to Fred Grandy’s sincere performance as Gopher. At the same time, it was hard not to miss Lauren Tewes while watching this story. The Love Boat always hinted that Julie was destined to end up with either Doc or Gopher. Pat Klous is doing a good job as Julie’s replacement, but she still doesn’t have the same chemistry with the cast that Tewes did. If Julie McCoy seemed like everyone’s sister, Judy seems like everyone’s respected coworker.

While Gopher was getting his heart broken, the recently deceased Jack Davidson (Bill Macy) boarded the ship with his guardian angel, Mr. Weatherby (Fritz Weaver). In order to get into heaven, Jack would have to commit one selfless act while on the boat. Jack met and fell in love with Blair Chapman (Juliet Mills). However, knowing that he was destined to disappear into the afterlife immediately after the cruise ended, Jack gently told Blair that he couldn’t get involved with her. That counted as his selfless act. As for Blair, it turned out that she was terminally ill and had only a month or so to live. Jack leaves the boat happy, knowing that Blair will soon die and be in Heaven with him. Only The Love Boat could present dying as a happy ending.

Finally, soap opera actor David Swick (Charles Frank) plays a villain on daytime television, but he’s a nice guy in real life. Melanie (Susan Blanchard) discovers this firsthand when she meets David on the boat and they fall in love. Unfortunately, Melanie’s mother (Jayne Meadows) cannot forgive David for all the evil things his character has done on television. This story was just silly, but at least Frank and Blanchard had a likable chemistry.

Though the season overall may have gotten off to a rough start, this week’s episode of The Love Boat was actually a pretty pleasant cruise. Fred Grandy got to do something other than just be goofy. Juliet Mills died .… okay, well that wasn’t pleasant, but at least she’ll have someone waiting for her in the afterlife. As for the soap opera storyline, it took me back to those summer days when I was out of school and I watched the daytime dramas with my mom and my aunt. Those were good memories.

I enjoyed this cruise! The Love Boat truly has something for everyone.

Scenes That I Love: Moses Parts The Red Sea In The Ten Commandments!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

145 years ago, on this date, director Cecil B. DeMille was born in Ashfield, Massachusetts.  From the silent era until his death in 1959, DeMille was one of Hollywood’s superstar directors.  His films, which were often over the top and effective at the same time, helped to build the modern film industry.

Today’s scene that I love comes from DeMille’s final film.  From 1956’s The Ten Commandments, Moses parts the Red Sea.

(Please note, this video starts with a frozen image that lasts for about 12 seconds.)

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Sam Fuller Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

On this date, 114 years ago, Samuel Fuller was born in Massachusetts.  Before he became a filmmaker, Fuller was a crime reporter and a pulp novelist.  His films were often melodramatic and unapologetically sordid.  They were also often dismissed when they were initially released but almost all of them were subsequently rediscovered by audiences who appreciated Fuller’s striking visuals and the often subversive subtext to be found underneath the surface of his genre films.

Today, we celebrate Fuller’s legacy with….

4 Shots From 4 Sam Fuller Films

Forty Guns (1957, dir by Samuel Fuller, DP: Joseph Biroc)

Shock Corridor (1963, dir by Samuel Fuller, DP: Stanley Cortez

The Naked Kiss (1964, dir by Samuel Fuller, DP: Stanley Cortez)

The Big Red One (1980, dir by Samuel Fuller, DP: Adam Greenberg)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.14 “Inferno”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Bobby goes undercover!

Episode 4.14 “Inferno”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on January 17th, 1999)

TC is on vacation but, before he leaves, he tasks Cory with discovering who is selling heroin at a trendy nightclub.  To be honest, that sounds like a job for the Narcotics Squad but whatever.  Cory tasks Bobby and Monica with going undercover.  Monica starts to hang out at the club.  Bobby gets a job as a bouncer.  It’s amazing how the same two cops can somehow both patrol the same small stretch of land and also continually work undercover without anyone ever recognizing them.  Their presence at the club still doesn’t prevent a rock star from overdosing or an actor from later shooting himself in front of Monica.

Meanwhile, Cory and Amy ride their stupid bikes around Santa Monica and harass drug addicts.   Amy catches one addict and says that he hasn’t been looking too good lately.  Amy has only been a member of the bike patrol for a few months so why is she acting like she’s been on this show for years?  As silly as the undercover work is, Pacific Blue is still at its most ludicrous when it tries to make the bike cops look like a bunch of badasses,

Bobby’s ex-girlfriend, Rita (Heather Marie Marsden), turns up singing at the club.  Despite Monica warning that Bobby is making a mistake, he allows himself to fall for Rita again despite the fact that Rita is now dating club owner Gary Fein (Scott Paetty), the man who is suspected of being Santa Monica’s biggest heroin dealer.  Of course, it turns out that Rita is the drug dealer.  Eventually, Bobby has to kill his ex-girlfriend to keep her from shooting his fellow bike cops.  Bobby is almost as upset about that as Slater was over losing his salamander.

The episode ends with a Cory/Bobby conversation.  Cory asks if Bobby was in love with Rita and Bobby admits that he had feelings for her.  The scene suggests that Cory and Bobby are secretly a couple.  If I was Cory, I would be hesitant about dating someone who killed his last girlfriend.

TC returns and tells Cory that she did a good job running the department.  Cory thanks him and then looks sad as the episode ends.  If she really felt that way about Bobby, why did she send him undercover in the first place?  Why not send in Granger?  Actually, is Granger still a character on this show?  I haven’t seen him in a while.

This is a dumb show.  You already knew that.  This episode served as a reminder that, along with being dumb, no one on this show is particularly good at their job.  Bobby goes undercover and allows his emotions to get the better of him …. again!  Monica goes undercover and actually does a good job but Cory won’t acknowledge it because she hates Monica …. still!  Amy rides around on her bicycle and harasses people like a corrupt deputy in a drive-in movie.  The fact that everyone is on bicycles just makes everything all the more ridiculous.

Santa Monica, you deserve better!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.13 “Bayside Story”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

Oh no, it’s another Bayside vs Valley episode!

Episode 2.13 “Bayside Story”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 22nd, 1994)

It’s time for Bayside and Valley to meet on the athletic field …. again!

*sigh*

Seriously, how much water can this show draw from the well of this particular rivalry?  Ever since the original Saved By The Bell, there have been episodes about Bayside competing against Valley.  Every episode begins with Mr. Belding complaining that Bayside never beats Valley.  And yet, every episode also seems to end with Bayside defeating Valley so I’m really not sure what Belding’s problem is.

This episode, after Valley toilet papers the Bayside hallways, Mr. Belding complains that Bayside hasn’t defeated Valley since Slater graduated.  Tommy D, Lindsay, Rachel, Megan, Brian, and Bobby all nod in agreement, which is odd since Slater graduated before any of them started at Bayside.  Belding also mentions that Screech is in Vegas for Zack and Kelly’s wedding and, again, everyone nods as if they know who Zack and Kelly are.  None of these students knew who Screech was when he first came back so how would they know Zack and Kelly?  Am I just giving this too much thought?  Perhaps.

As the head cheerleader, Megan is determined that the cheerleading squad (which is apparently made up of only her, Rachel, and Lindsay) is ready to declare death to Valley.  But then she meets Doug (Bumper Robinson), the captain of Valley’s football team, and she ends up falling for him.  Her friends are horrified that Megan would date someone from Valley but that doesn’t stop them from using Megan’s relationship to take advantage of Doug by pulling off one of those elaborate SBTB schemes where everyone dresses up in a stupid costume and distracts Doug long enough for Brian and Bobby to use a spy camera to take pictures of Valley’s playbook.

(Seriously, the whole thing is really stupid.)

Shortly afterwards, Megan ends up breaking up with Doug because she can’t handle everyone’s disapproval.  The Gang feels guilty so they decide to give the pictures of the playbook back to Doug but, as opposed to just giving him the film, they instead decide to pull off another elaborate prank that involves everyone putting on costumes.

The reason why I’m not going into a lot of details about the pranks and the costumes is that it’s all really stupid.  And I’m worried that if I spend too much time describing all of this, my brain might short-circuit.  Let’s just say that it never occurs to anyone to just do the simplest of things, like maybe practicing really hard on the football field and trying to win the game legitimately.

That said, there a few things that work in this episode.

Amazingly, there actually is a funny running joke in this episode.  Unlike most of the characters on this show, Brian knows nothing about American sports and continually has to be told the most basic facts about football.  (“It’s played on a field, not a rink!”)  Christian Oliver delivered his lines with the right amount of enthusiastic naivete and it was kind of nice to see Brian transformed into something more than just a stand-in for Zack.

The episode ends with the Bayside Gang meeting the Valley Gang at the Maxx and everyone crying as they realize that they’re not so different after all.  That was actually kind of sweet.  And then Belding ran in wearing riot gear because he was convinced a fight was about to break out.  That actually made me laugh a little.  So, dumb pranks aside, this episode wasn’t a total loss.

In conclusion, I should mention that my high school had a hated rival that was actually only a few blocks away from us.  Our football team hated their football team and all that other stuff.  Unfortunately, since my school was pretty much an art school, I don’t think we ever won a game against them.  Some of that was because my school didn’t even have a football field so our team had to go over to the rival school whenever they wanted to practice.

Seriously, not even Slater could have saved them.

 

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Stuart Gordon Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

79 years ago on this date, director Stuart Gordon was born in Chicago, Illinois.  Gordon went from experimental theater to feature films and was responsible for some of the most visually memorable horror films of the past century.  Perhaps no other American director was a strong interpreter of the work of H.P. Lovecraft than Stuart Gordon.

Today, we honor Stuart Gordon with….

4 Shots From 4 Stuart Gordon Films

Re-Animator (1985, dir by Stuart Gordon, DP: Marc Ahlberg)

Dolls (1987, dir by Stuart Gordon, DP: Marc Ahlberg)

The Pit and the Pendulum (1991, dir by Stuart Gordon. DP: Adolfo Bartoli)

Castle Freak (1994, dir by Stuart Gordon, DP: Mario Vulpiani)

Scenes I Love: Reggie Bannister in Phantasm

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Rest in peace to the great Reggie Bannister.  After years of ill health, Bannister passed away on August 9th at the age of 80.

Reggie Bannister will always be remembered for his role as the same-named Reggie, the ice cream man in the Phantasm franchise.  For all the attention that was given to how scary Angus Grimm was, Reggie was the heart of the film.  Today’s scene that I love comes from 1979’s Phantasm.