Here’s The Trailer For Smiley Face Killers!


Okay, everyone — one last trailer before calling it a night.

There’s currently a conspiracy theory out there that states that, since the late 80s, a cult has been murdering athletic, drunk college students and dumping their bodies in rivers.  Supposedly, the cult’s calling card is that they paint a smiley face near every crime scene.

It’s a bullshit theory that makes absolutely no sense.  The truth of the matter is that frat boys binge drink and are therefore vulnerable to stumbling into rivers, lakes, and creeks.  It’s sad but that’s just the truth of the matter.  As for the smiley faces — well, there are smiley faces everywhere.  And seriously, if you’re a cult killing people in secret, why would you give away your existence with a smiley face?  It’s really a dumb theory so, of course, there are a lot of people who believe it.  Dr. Phil even did a show about it.

Anyway, it appears that the theory has inspired a film.  Below is the trailer for Smiley Face Killers, which will be released on December 4th.  Just in time for Oscar consideration!

Here’s The Trailer For Survival Games


Here’s the trailer for Survival Games which looks like it’s some sort of mockbuster version of …. well, every film that’s been released over the past ten years.

I don’t know.  A lot of people are probably going to get snarky about the cheap CGI and the apparent wooden nature of some of the performances but this looks enjoyably silly to me.

Here’s The Trailer For Don’t Click!


I personally don’t know if I would have the guts to call my movie Don’t Click but it’s a title that just lends itself to too many snarky reviews.  You’re always taking a risk when toss the word “Don’t” into your title.

That said, here’s the trailer for Don’t Click.  It has kind of a Saw vibe.  Personally, I appreciate the three-piece of suit.  If you’re going to become a professional torturer, you really should dress for the part.  Seriously, never forget — dress for the job you want, not the one you have.

Here’s The Trailer for Midnight Sky!


I’m about three days late in sharing this but I figured that everyone could use a little hope for the future, even when in the middle of a horrorthon!

Here’s the trailer for Midnight Sky.  Now, on the one hand, the trailer makes the film look like it might be good.  On the other hand, the film was directed by George Clooney and that’s always a big red flag.  Clooney is a good actor and usually a terrible director.  It’s an odd combination but it happens sometimes.  (My personal theory is that Clooney is still insecure about the years that he spent being dismissed as just being a pretty frat boy type and, as a result, he always tries too hard whenever he directs a film.  It’s like he’s still saying, “I can handle things!  I’m smart!”)  Hopefully, for this film, Clooney will give a bad performance but that will free him up to actually do a good job directing for once.  We’ll find out soon.

Midnight Sky will be released on Netflix on December 23rd.

6 Trailers For October 30th


 

Halloween comes closer and that means that it’s time for another holiday edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers.  Today, we have 6 of my favorite Italian horror trailers!

  1. The Beyond (1981)

I’ve always liked the trailer for Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond.  It does a good job of capturing the dream-like amtosphere of Fulci’s classic film.

2. Raiders of Atlantis (1983)

Raiders of Atlantis is hardly my favorite Ruggero Deodato film but I do really like the trailer.  Add to that, I think this might be the only Deodato trailer that’s actually safe for work.  The trailer for Cannibal Holocaust features that body being found with the stake driven through it.  The House on the Edge of the Park trailer features the scene with straight razor.  Meanwhile, the trailer for Raiders of Atlantis has fun music and a laser-shooting statue!  It also has Tony King shouting, “Come on, come on, come on!”

3. Zombie 5: Killing Birds (1987)

This movie sucks but, for some reason, I’ve always found the trailer to be very effective.  I think it’s the scene with the woman smiling despite being pinned to the wall and apparently dead.  That’s pure nightmare fuel.

4. Spasmo (1974)

This is from director Umberto Lenzi.  I sometimes feel as if I’m the only person in the world who likes this film.  As for the trailer, I just enjoy the anguished cries of “Spasmo!  Spasmo!”

5. Lisa and the Devil (1973) 

This is one of my favorite Mario Bava films.  Yes, some of it is because the lead character is named Lisa.  I’ll admit it, I like my name.  However, it’s a really good film as well!

6. Tenebrae (1982)

And finally, here is the trailer for Dario Argento’s brilliant, Tenebrae!

Seriously, if you want to have a truly wonderful Halloween, watch some Italian horror!  If you haven’t already discovered Bava, Fulci, Argento, Lenzi, Soavi, D’Amato, and all the rest, now is the perfect time to do so!  Do it now before their work gets canceled by the online puritan mob.

(Always remember: invest in physical media.)

Here’s The Trailer For Songbird!


Judging from twitter, a lot of people are either outraged or pretending to be outraged about the upcoming film Songbird.  Songbird imagines a 2024 in which continued COVID lockdowns have transformed the world into a Hellish dystopia.

Speaking for myself, it sounds like the film is just being honest about how a lot of people are feeling right now.  If nothing else, a film like can be cathartic for people who are feeling worried.  Too often, when there’s a crisis, people are shamed for having doubts.  They’re ordered to forget about their fears and just trust the powers that be.  Unfortunately, when the powers that be have consistently shown themselves to be a bunch of out-of-touch elitists, it’s hard to take much comfort in them.  Certainly, when your leaders are saying, “You’re going to be locked down and if you complain, you’re going to be punished,” films like this seems like an inevitable by-product of a year’s worth of resentment.

Anyway, here’s the trailer for Songbird:

6 Trailers For The Thursday Before Halloween


It’s a holiday and you know what that means!

Or maybe you don’t.  Sometimes, I forget that not everyone can read my mind.  Anyway, I used to do a weekly post of my favorite grindhouse trailers.  Eventually, it went from being a weekly thing to being an occasional thing, largely due to the fact that there’s only so many trailers available on YouTube.  Now, Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film Trailers is something that I usually only bring out on a holiday.

Like today!

So, here are 6 trailers for the Thursday before Halloween!

  1. The Monster Squad (1987)

I swear, there are some people out there who really, really love this movie.  And good for them!  Love is what makes the world go round.  Personally, I’ve never watched it but it seems like everyday, someone on twitter makes a comment about the wolfman having nards.

2. Trick ‘R’ Treat (2007)

This is another movie that people around me seem to love.  Strangely, I haven’t seen it, though the trailer seems to suggest that it’s something that I would enjoy.  So, consider this my promise to you — next year, I will review Trick ‘R’ Treat for horrorthon!

3. Trick or Treat (1986)

“Rock and roll will never die!”  And neither will Halloween.

However, make no mistake about it …. horror is not just a Halloween thing.  It can infect any holiday….

4. New Year’s Evil (1980)

From director Garry Marshall comes an all-star film about the moments that make us who we are and the one night when everyone is celebrating…. oh wait.  Sorry, wrong movie.  This is actually a Canadian film that featured a killer who commits a murder in every time zone at the stroke of midnight.  I’m not sure why anyone would think that was a viable plan but it was the 80s and cocaine was everywhere.

So, to make clear …. Garry Marshall was in no way involved with this film.

5. Slaughterhouse Rock (1988)

New Year’s Evil was not the only slasher film to feature a soundtrack of rockin’ 80s music!  There was also Slaughterhouse Rock, which had a Devo soundtrack and which featured Toni Basil in a small but key supporting role!

Finally, let’s finish things off with one more horror musical spectacular.

6. Black Roses (1988)

OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THOSE DELOREANS!

Still, despite their really cool cars, this band is not a band to listen to.  There’s only way you can get your band to sound as bad as the one in this movie and that’s too make a deal with the the devil!  Losing your soul to sound terrible …. it’s just not worth it.

Though, admittedly, those car are pretty freaking cool….

Anyway, happy Eve of the Eve of Halloween!  Enjoy these trailer and be sure to enjoy some wonderful films as well!