Category Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 3.16 “Take On Me”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Degrassi does detention.

Episode 3.16 “Take On Me”

(Dir by Philip Earnshaw, originally aired on February 16th, 2004)

One Canadian Saturday, Jimmy, Hazel, Sean, Toby, and Ellie all find themselves serving detention while Mr. Raditch works out in the gym. Sean has detention for talking back to Raditch. Jimmy and Toby have detention for hacking into the school’s computer system to change one of Jimmy’s grades. Hazel was caught looking at porn in her computer class. Ellie says that she has detention because she skipped class, but actually, she’s there because she’s gathering information for a story about the thefts at Degrassi. She has a tape recorder in her backpack and is recording every conversation. By the end of detention, Raditch has realized that he was apparently being too hard on his students (because who hasn’t tried to hack into their school’s system, right?), Hazel and Jimmy are dating, Sean and Ellie are dating, and Toby …. well, Toby doesn’t really get much of anything out of the experience. The show’s writers had obviously run out of things for Toby to do.

This is the famous Breakfast Club episode of Degrassi, and it’s one of those homages that people either love for its sincerity or dislike for how obvious it makes everything. I’ve always liked this episode, and I actually reviewed it a few years ago. My feelings haven’t really changed since I wrote that first review, so I won’t rehash it all here. I will say that, when I rewatched this episode, I did find myself cringing a little more than usual at how thoroughly it rips off The Breakfast Club. The scene where Sean says that he doesn’t join groups is a bit overwritten. That said, Stacey Farber and Daniel Clark had such a natural chemistry that, even after all these years, I still find myself wondering how different Degrassi would have been if the show had made Ellie and Sean into a couple earlier than it did. After all the drama with Manny’s pregnancy and Rick putting Terri into a coma, this episode provided a nice relief and a reminder that serving detention can be fun as long as you have the right attitude.

I still like this episode, even if Mr. Raditch’s decision to let everyone leave early still doesn’t make any sense. Most schools would have expelled Jimmy and Toby for doing what they did. Seriously, they were getting off easy with one day of detention!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 6.9 “Closet Cases”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

Finally, it’s time for another Bayliss/Pembleton episode!

Episode 6.9 “Closet Cases”

(Dir by Leslie Libman and Larry Williams, originally aired on January 2nd, 1998)

Finally, we’ve got another Pembleton/Bayliss episode!

Well, don’t get too excited.  It’s not perfect.  We still have to sit through some scenes of Falsone arguing with his wife and complaining about not having custody of his kids.  And the Georgia Rae Mahoney storyline is continuing to drag on.  This week, she sends Kellerman a videotaped message in which she explains that there is no tape of Kellerman murdering Luther.  She just told Kellerman that to see how he would react.  And since Kellerman reacted like a murderer, Georgia has decided that she is going to eventually kill Kellerman.  “You won’t see it coming!” she says.  Whatever.

As for Bayliss and Pembleton, they investigate the murder of a gay businessmen who was left in dumpster, clad in lingerie.  Gay nightclub owner Chris Rawls (Peter Gallagher) helps out with the investigation, introducing Pembleton and Bayliss to the community.  What’s interesting about this storyline is that, for once, the roles of Pembleton and Bayliss are reversed.  Bayliss is fascinated by Baltimore’s gay community while Pembleton is the one who keeps saying things like, “I don’t need to see two men dancing.”  Usually, Pembleton is the open-minded one while Bayliss is the one who is uptight.

In fact, it’s such a role-reversal that it doesn’t always ring true.  In the past, Bayliss has been so uncomfortable around any type of non-straight, non-missionary position sex that it feels very out of character for him to suddenly marvel about how how everyone at a gay bar is having a good time.  To the show’s credit, Pembleton does mention this.  Bayliss replies that he hasn’t been happy for a long time and he’s wondering if maybe he needs to change his outlook.  He points out that the murder victim was in a relationship for 12 years.  That’s longer than any relationship that Bayliss has ever had.

(This episode opens with Bayliss and Dr. Cox breaking up which — eh.  I never bought them as a couple to begin with.)

The murderer turns out to be sociopathic male sex worker, who taunts Bayliss in the Box, saying that he can tell that Bayliss is attracted to him.  Bayliss smirks.  The suspect offers to confess if Bayliss tells him that he likes his ass.  Bayliss slowly repeats the suspect’s words back at him.  The suspect confesses.  It’s an odd scene.  I’m kind of preferred it when the detectives would actually have to put some effort into tricking their suspects into saying the wrong.  So far, in season 6, everyone is just confessing.

At the end of the episode, Rawls asks Bayliss to come to a wine testing with him and Bayliss says yes.  Pembleton is shocked and tells Bayliss that Chris was asking him on a date.  Bayliss says he understands that.  He adds, “I’m not gay” before then saying that he finds Chris Rawls to be witty and intelligent.

And here’s the thing.  As always, Andre Braugher and Kyle Secor totally sell it.  Even though Bayliss’s words and actions seem totally out-of-character after everything we’ve seen over the past five seasons, Kyle Secor makes it work.  Bayliss deserves some happiness.

And I deserve some more Bayliss/Pembleton episodes.  Seriously, this season has been so Falsone-centric that I was starting to forget just what a great team Andre Baugher and Kyle Secor truly were.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.11 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part Two”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the sage of Jessie’s stepbrother continues.

Episode 3.11 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part Two”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 2nd, 1991)

Picking up where the previous episode ended, Eric and Lisa survive wrecking Belding’s car.  Neither one gets checked by a doctor or anything sensible like that.  As a matter of fact, Lisa thinks it’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to her.  She had so much fun on her date with Eric that she even asks him if he wants to go to the MC Hammer concert with her.

Meanwhile, Zack and Slater have to figure out how to raise the $610 needed to fix the car.  They decide that, since lying has worked out so well for them so far, they should hold a rigged raffle.  Students pay Zack and Slater for the tickets, not realizing that it’s already been set up for Screech to win.  The raffle takes place in Mr. Sachs’s math class.  As Mr. Sachs solves a math problem on the board, he reads out each number.  The class applauds each numeral.  “I’ve never seen such math enthusiasm!” Mr. Sachs exclaims.  Of course, Screech has the winning number.

When Screech is initially reluctant to hand over the money that he “won,” Eric overhears Zack and Slater threatening him in the locker room.  Eric tries to blackmail Zack and Slater into giving him the money for his date with Lisa.  Zack reveals that the only reason Lisa went on her first date with Eric was because Zack bribed her with the MC Hammer tickets.

Eric confronts Lisa at the Max.  Lisa admits the truth.  Eric says he never wants to speak to her again.  As Jessie watches, Lisa sobs that, “At first, I didn’t like him.  Now, I don’t like me!”  Awww!  Poor Lisa!

Things get even more complicated when Belding returns early and wants to see his car.  It turns out that Eric convinced the auto shop teacher to totally take the car apart.  (“Uh-oh,” the studio audience says.)  When Jessie finds out, she marches into her former bedroom and punches Eric in the face.  That black eye is all Eric needs to realize that he hasn’t been very nice.  Eric puts Belding’s car back together.  Belding thinks that Slater did a wonderful job installing his CD player.

Eric also decides to return to New York but the entire gang comes over and asks him to stay in California.  Yay!  They’re all friends now!  I’m sure we’ll be seeing Eric a lot over the next few episodes.  And even if we don’t see him, I’m sure that Jessie will occasionally mention him, right?  I mean, you can’t just introduce a stepbrother, make him the center of a two-part episode, and then just forget about him, can you?  That would be crazy!

Speaking of crazy, this episode drives me up the wall.  The rigged lottery.  The car prank.  The desperate attempts to keep Belding from realizing that his car was in an accident.  It’s all a bit much and it all could have been avoided by the students of Bayside not acting like idiots.  I abhor idiot plots and that’s pretty much what this entire episode was.

If anything did redeem this episode, it was Slater getting tired of being told to fix the car and snapping, “I don’t need this pressure!”  You tell ’em, Slater!

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 3.3 “Tequila Bay”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, two new regulars join the cast.

Episode 3.3 “Tequila Bay”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on September 27th, 1992)

Despite not having graduated from lifeguard school yet, Brody is given an undercover assignment by Mitch. Someone has been attacking surfers who try to surf the waters off Tequila Bay, and Brody is sent in to find out who is responsible.

Gee, who could it be? How about that gang of angry-looking teenagers standing on the rocks and glaring as Matt and another surfer, Jimmy Slade (Kelly Slater), greet each other in the water? It is pretty easy to see that the gang is trying to keep other surfers off “their” beach. What I find strange is that the gang consists of about seven people, but only two of them are carrying surfboards. What are the other five getting out of this?

As for Jimmy Slade, he is a philosophical surfer who thinks the water belongs to everyone. He lives in a van. He does not have a phone, but he does have a board, and his life is all about the waves. When he sees Brody paddling in the ocean, he greets him not as a potential rival but as a fellow surfer. And when the evil surf gang tries to run Brody and Slade off, Slade throws a few hard punches of his own.

Jimmy Slade is played by Kelly Slater, a professional surfer who joined Baywatch for its third season. In the Summerfest special, Slater said he joined the cast because he wanted to introduce surfing to the world. I have read a more recent interview in which he says he joined at the urging of his agent and regretted it almost immediately. Not only did fellow surfers give him a hard time about selling out, but Slater also read a script for an episode that featured a surfboard-stealing octopus.

And indeed, Slater gives a performance in this episode that suggests he had already figured out acting was not for him. He delivers his lines stiffly and without much personality. Slater himself abandoned acting after his time on Baywatch. He is a far better surfer than an actor.

Slade does agree to teach Summer how to surf, though the Tequila Bay gang again tries to ruin things by putting barbed wire in the ocean. Slade ends up with a few bad cuts, but it looks as if he will also get a girlfriend. As for the gang, they are arrested by Garner and Mitch.

Meanwhile, the new lieutenant shows up at Baywatch to replace the promoted Captain Thorpe. Mitch is stunned when his new boss turns out to be Stephanie Holden (Alexandra Paul), a woman with whom he once had a torrid affair. She broke his heart when she failed to meet him at Catalina. How badly did she hurt Mitch? Badly enough that he tells Ben he feels like Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. Wow, Mitch. Overdramatic much?

Overdramatic is the word for David Hasselhoff in this episode. If the first two seasons featured Hasselhoff as an easygoing beach bum, this one features him as an angry, emotionally wounded ex-lover. Unfortunately, Hasselhoff is at his least convincing when he is playing anger. He comes across as petulant. Alexandra Paul may not play Stephanie with much depth, at least not in her first episode, but you still feel sorry for her, because Mitch is being such a jerk.

However, when Stephanie and Mitch work together on the beach to save a drowning man, Mitch realizes that Stephanie is good at her job. He has been asked to write a letter to Captain Thorpe about whether Stephanie should be assigned to Baywatch. Mitch writes that she should definitely be his boss. Could this mean love for Mitch? Let’s hope so!

This episode was way too overdramatic to be taken seriously. The Tequila Bay gang was made up of some of the least intimidating baddies ever to show up on Baywatch. Seriously: the ocean is for everyone.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Sledge Hammer! 1.11 “To Live and Die on TV”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

This week, Sledge goes on television.

Episode 1.11 “To Live and Die on TV”

(Dir by Daniel Attias, originally aired on December 13th, 1986)

The Million Dollar Question is the most popular game show on television.  Hosted and produced by Bob Kenny (Peter Marshall), the show is famous for the fact that no one has ever won the million dollars.  That’s a good thing because Bob doesn’t actually have a million dollars to give anyone.  When one contestant gets too close to winning the top prize, Bob has him murdered.

Sledge Hammer and Doreau does some research and discover that Bob has a history of declaring bankruptcy.  Doreau also figures out that only stupid-looking people are cast on The Million Dollar Question in order to ensure that they won’t win.  Naturally, this leads to Sledge Hammer going undercover as a contestant.  With Doreau secretly supplying him with the answers, Sledge gets closer and closer to the million.  Bob comes up with a plan to kill Sledge on live television….

This episode was fairly amusing satire of game shows.  The Million Dollar Question successfully predicted Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?  Of course, nowadays, it’s a lot easier to be a millionaire than it was back in 1986 or even 2000.  One million dollars in 1986 is the equivalent of three million dollars today.  It seems a bit odd that Bob Kenny couldn’t afford to pay that but, then again, the whole point of the episode was that game show hosts are not to be trusted.

I enjoyed Doreau giving Hammer the answers to some of the easiest questions ever asked.  Peter Marshall seemed to be having as the sleazy Bob and, as always, David Rasche was amusingly clueless.  When he’s told that Trivial Pursuit is a game the requires brains, Hammer replies that the only thing he pursues is justice and all that requires is bullets.

This was a good episode that reminded me that being  a millionaire used to mean something.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.16 “Family Affair”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, Bobby Caldwell faces his future.

Episode 4.16 “Family Affair”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on February 12th, 1986)

This episode deals with the fallout of the assassination of Sen. Gordon Endicott. As I watched it, I found it surprising that the doctors and the patients didn’t seem too shaken by the fact that a presidential contender had been shot in the chapel. One could argue that this was meant to show that violence in the United States had become so commonplace that people barely noticed it. I think it has more to do with bad writing. There is no real emotional impact to the Endicott family drama because the Endicotts themselves never come across as actual human beings. They’re thin stand-ins for the Kennedy family, and the show doesn’t seem to know what it wants to say about them. St. Elsewhere was an undeniably liberal show, and the Endicotts, with their sense of noblesse oblige, are clearly meant to evoke nostalgia for the Kennedy era. At the same time, the show can’t quite convince itself that the Kennedy era was all it was cracked up to be.

The Endicott story comes to an end here. Augusta survives her heart surgery. Her granddaughter goes into labor and gives birth to the first Endicott of the next generation. Augusta’s grandsons argue over who will lead the family. It falls flat. That’s especially true in 2026, when the Kennedys are no longer deified. Today the name Kennedy is just as likely to bring to mind vanity congressional campaigns as it is Camelot.

(For all the effort St. Elsewhere put into recreating the Kennedy family, no effort is made to recreate Mary Jo Kopechne.)

Far more compelling is the story of Bobby Caldwell, who struggles to carry on as a doctor despite his AIDS diagnosis. At first, only Westphall, Auschlander, and Morrison know. Morrison tells Fiscus, mostly to get Fiscus to stop giving Caldwell a hard time about his scar. Westphall tells Dr. Craig. Craig confronts Caldwell, says “Tough break,” and then asks him to leave the hospital. Craig also says he had no idea Caldwell was, in Craig’s words — not mine — “a fag.”  Caldwell says that he’s not but the implication is clear.  In Craig’s eyes, the virus is a punishment.

Caldwell’s illness makes Fiscus hesitant about sleeping with Clancy, at least until Fiscus’s own AIDS test comes back. Bobby’s ex, Joan Halloran (Nancy Stafford), gets tested and is relieved to discover she’s negative. When Joan complains that she’s never done anything to deserve getting sick, Morrison tells her that AIDS is a disease, not a metaphysical judgment. I’m glad someone finally pointed that out.

Caldwell resolves to kill himself in his apartment, but just as he’s about to take a lethal objection, someone knocks on his door. The young daughter of the woman who lives above him needs help with a leak in their bathroom. Caldwell realizes that having AIDS doesn’t mean he can’t help people.

In the end, Caldwell does leave St. Eligius. He tells Westphall that he’s moving to California to work at an AIDS hospice. He takes one last look around the hospital and then exits both St. Eligius and the show.

I have to admit I was really moved by the episode’s final image of Caldwell stepping outside. He hasn’t always been my favorite character. When he was first introduced in the second season, he seemed bland. During the third season, the show didn’t know what to do with him. He spent much of the fourth season treating everyone else terribly. But in this episode, Caldwell finally seemed like a real person. Mark Harmon’s performance, especially in those last moments, was outstanding.

Goodbye, Bobby Caldwell.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 2.7 “Rape and Revenge: Part Two”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter and McCall are in South America.

Episode 2.7 “Rape and Revenge: Part Two”

(Dir by Richard A. Colla and Gary Winter, originally aired on November 9th, 1985)

Picking up where last week’s episode ended, Hunter, with the help of an orphaned street urchin named Iggy (Dan Ponce), has managed to track down where Raoul Mariano lives in Curaguay.  He’s also learned that the country is controlled by the brutal secret police and that Mariano is the son of a feared general (Michael Ansara).  Hunter has also arranged for a burned-out American named Jimmy Crackin (Larry Hankin) to fly him over the border to the safety of Bolivia.  Of course, Hunter won’t be leaving until after he’s killed Mariano….

What Hunter did not count on was McCall suddenly showing up and asking him not to assassinate Mariano on her behalf.  Even after Hunter points out that Mariano is going to get away with all of his crimes otherwise, McCall argues that Hunter should not put his life in danger to kill him.

Hunter disagrees.  However, he doesn’t assassinate Mariano.  Instead, when he confronts Mariano, Hunter gives Mariano a gun to keep things fair.  When Mariano opens fire, Hunter shoots back in self-defense and kills him.  Essentially, this was all so Hunter could avoid being portrayed as a cold-blooded killer.  If this episode were made today, Hunter would have no hesitation about shooting Mariano, whether he had a gun or not.

Mariano is killed early on in the episode.  The rest of the running time is taken up with Hunter, McCall, and Iggy trying to get to the helicopter in time to make their escape.  Fortunately,  it turns out that the Curaguayan army is no match for a determined Los Angeles homicide detective in a big car.  The episode ends with the helicopter flying towards Bolivia, taking Hunter, McCall, and even little Iggy to freedom.

(To be honest, it still seems like this would all lead to an international incident of some sort but whatever.)

Compared to Part One, the second part of “Rape and Revenge” is pretty much just a straight-out action story.  It was satisfying to watch Mariano meet his fate.  That said, I could have done without Iggy the talkative urchin.  I think he was mostly included to soften the fact that this episode was basically about Hunter trying to murder someone.

Next week, Hunter and McCall will be back in Los Angeles!

Retro Television Review: Twin Detectives (dir by Robert Day)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  This Thursday, I will be reviewing Twin Detectives, which was produced for ABC in 1990.  The show can be found on YouTube!

Twin Detectives

(Dir by Robert Day, Originally aired on May 1st, 1976)

Tony (Jim Hager) and Shep Thomas (Jon Hager) are identical twins who long ago gave up on other people ever being able to tell them apart. Instead, they just pretend to be one person. They own a detective agency. Their clients think that they’re hiring one detective, but little do they know that they’re actually hiring two detectives who look exactly alike! I’m not sure exactly why the Thomas brothers have decided this is a good idea, other than the fact that I guess they each only have to work half a day. It does lead to some complications, like when one of the brothers gets into debt to some gangsters and the other brother ends up getting beaten up. To be honest, I’m not sure whether Tony was the irresponsible one or if it was Shep. All I know is that both of them spent this entire made-for-TV movie getting into trouble because of the decisions made by the other sibling.

As for why I’m reviewing this in October, there actually is a supernatural angle here. Leonard (Patrick O’Neal) and Sheila Rainier (Barbara Rhoades) are running an institute that claims to study psychic phenomena. The elderly and rich Billy Jo Haskins (Lillian Gish) has been funding the Rainiers and is convinced that they can communicate with her dead husband. Billy Jo’s attorney, Marvin Telford (David White), hires the brothers to investigate the institute. At first, it seems like Leonard’s assistant (Lynda Day George) is on the verge of revealing the truth about the scam, but then she’s murdered. The Thomas brothers have to solve the murder and also resolve the question of whether the Rainiers are truly talking to the dead.

Twin Detectives was obviously meant to be a pilot for a weekly show. The Hager brothers were so bereft of charisma and acting ability that I actually felt the need to do some research to try to discover why they were given a pilot in the first place. Apparently, the Hagers were country music performers who had appeared on several variety shows and had a following in middle America. This pilot was obviously designed to appeal to the older folks in the audience, but it didn’t work because, again, the Hagers weren’t very good actors and the whole idea of them pretending to be one person just didn’t make much sense.

Sadly, the film wastes its guest stars. Lillian Gish was one of the first film stars, but she’s not given much to do as Billy Jo Haskins. Wherever D. W. Griffith may have been, he wasn’t watching.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.8 “Vindication”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, some of the players get trapped in the woods.

Episode 5.8 “Vindication”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on December 6th, 1989)

It’s time for the Barbara Ann Awards.

The Barbara Ann Awards are a never-before mentioned annual tradition in which Dr. Death, Jethro, Bubba, and Zagreb go to a cabin in the woods with a bunch of women and the women compete to be the new Barbara Ann.  Yep, it’s just as sleazy as it sounds.  Fortunately, this year sees the players being stalked by two mask-wearing, chainsaw-carrying psychoes.  While the women hide in the cabin, the players go out to battle their stalkers and, instead, they end up getting caught in a net.  Oh no!  Is this the end of the California Bulls?  (Well, four of them, at least….)

Fortunately, no.  It turns out that it was all a practical joke that was set up by the women.  Yay!  Put those men in their place!  The players are so impressed that they give the title of Barbara Ann to the woman who came up with the joke.  This whole thing was pretty silly but at least it felt appropriate for October viewing.

The episode’s other storyline featured Johnny Gunn being interviewed by reporter Susan McDermitt (Catherine MacNeal).  With protestors constantly picketing the games and calling Johnny a murderer, TD Parker (OJ Simpson) figures that it’s time for some damage control.  TD understands just how damaging it is to the reputation of the game to have a player who is routinely accused of being a murderer.

So, Susan and Johnny go to Johnny’s hometown in Pennsylvania.  We learn about Johnny’s past as a foster kid and a high school football star.  In a somewhat implausible scene, Johnny’s ex-girlfriend (Tally Chanel) admits on camera that she lied about what happened the night that Johnny killed a man.  It turns out that Johnny was actually acting in self-defense.

“I’m glad that’s taken care of!” OJ says as he watches the news report.

This is another episode of 1st & Ten that’s impossible to watch without thinking about OJ Simpson’s later life.  Every time OJ started to talk about how unfair it was that Johnny was being judged for being a murderer, I cringed just a little bit.  The episode’s contention that one positive news story was all Johnny needed to get on with his life was almost charming in its naiveté.

Next week …. well, who knows?  Hopefully, it won’t involve any more murders.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.17 “Ace Takes the Test/The Counterfeit Couple/The Odd Triple”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s love and fraud all aroud.

Episode 8.17 “Ace Takes the Test/The Counterfeit Couple/The Odd Triple”

(Dir by Nell Cox, originally aired on January 12th, 1985)

Ace’s friend Donna (Teresa Ganzel) boards the ship with her macho husband, Gus (Christopher Mayer).  Gus owns a moving company.  The first thing he does is crush Ace’s hand while shaking it.  Gus then beats Ace in an arm-wrestling contest.  He then asks Ace to solve a riddle, requests that Ace read the bottom line on a menu, and he asks about Ace’s hearing.  Is Gus jealous?

Actually, Gus is testing Ace because he and Donna want to have a baby but Gus appears to be shooting blanks.  Gus explains that all of his brothers have at least six kids.  Gus just wants to have one.  Would Ace consider donating his sperm?

Ace does consider it but ultimately, he decides that he can’t.  Fortunately, Donna later faints and, when Doc Bricker examines her, he discovers that she’s pregnant.  Gus’s boys can swim after all!

Meanwhile, Susie Epshaw (Crystal Bernard) has a crush on Gopher but Gopher falls in love with Susie’s mom, Annette (Mary Ann Mobley).  Susie is okay with it and good for her.  Gopher was a little bit old for her.  That said, Gopher falls in love several times a season so neither Susie nor her mother should get too excited.

Two strangers (Richard Gilliand and Erin Moran) both buy tickets from scalpers, just to find themselves booked in the Honeymoon Suite together.  (Apparently, the couple that originally bought the tickets broke up before the marriage.)  “Barbara” and “Lyle” pretend to be married and then they fall in love for real.  They admit the truth to the crew and everyone is just fine with the fraud.  As long as the tickets were paid for, the Captain doesn’t really care who stays in the Honeymoon Suite.  That’s a good attitude.  I was a little surprised to discover that the Honeymoon Suite was just a normal cabin.

This cruise was another example of the eighth season’s tendency to be, in general, pleasant but predictable.  I laughed a few times at Ace being tested by Donna and Gus, just because of the contrast between super smooth Ted McGinley and the rough-hewn Christopher Mayer.  Otherwise, this was a cruise that wasn’t bad but also wasn’t particularly memorable.