Music Video of the Day: REALiTi by Grimes (2015, dir by Grimes)

It occurred to me that I have yet to congratulate Elon Musk and Grimes on the birth of little X Æ A-Xii.  It’s interesting to note that Elon and Grimes first discovered each other on twitter, where they independently came up with the same pun.  Personally, my favorite pun has always been, “If it’s not baroque, don’t fix it.”


Music Video Of The Day: Dangerous by Olivia Krash (2016, dir by ????)

This video features Olivia Krash covering one of my favorite songs, Big Data’s Dangerous!

Covers are always interesting.  I like covers when they bring something new to the song and I think that Olivia Krash definitely does that with her version of Dangerous.  Her version is a bit less paranoid than the original version that was performed by Big Data and Joywave.  It takes an anthem to suspicion and turns it into a party song and there’s nothing wrong with that.  In the future, all parties will be paranoid.  Really, they already should be.  I remember there was a Brinks Home Security commercial that featured a woman throwing a house warming party and discovering, to her surprise, that she didn’t know one of the guests.  His name was AJ and later, he broke into her house.  If she had been properly paranoid, she would have said, “Hey, what’s the stranger doing at my party!?”  Instead, she was just like, “Who’s that?  I don’t know him!  Ha ha!”  It’s not so funny once you’ve got a broken window that you’re going to have to pay to get repaired, is it?

My least favorite covers, by the way, are the ones that sound like duplicates of the original.  I mean, what’s the point?  I’m also not a fan of extremely overdramatic cover versions.  For instance, there used to be a WGU commercial that featured the most over-the-top version of The Times They Are A Changing that I had ever heard and it was so terrible that I always had to hit mute whenever I came across that commercial.  I’m also not a huge fan of the song Amazing Grace, largely because everyone who sings it always seems like they’re on the verge of tears and that’s just not fun to watch.  Plus, I just take issue with any song that requires me to describe myself as being a wretch.  I mean, I like songs that make me feel confident, y’know?  Calling myself a wretch would be the exact opposite of that.


Music Video Of The Day: I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace (2003, dir by Steve Gainer)

Back when we were both in college, my friend Evelyn and I would often greet each other by loudly exclaiming, “I hate everything about you!”  That always got us a few weird looks but you have to understand that, at the time, we were both making a point about avoiding easy sentiment and …. well, we also liked getting weird looks because we felt like that was a sign that we were bringing down the establishment in some sort of way.  That may sound silly now and, to be honest, it sounded silly back then.  But still, we had fun and that’s the important thing.

Anyway, I Hate Everything About You is one of those songs that’s really appealing when you’re trying to be a rebel and you want the world to know how pissed off and disillusioned you are.  At the same time, it’s also a song that lends itself to all sorts of parody.  (Who knows how many people sang, “I.  Ate.  Everything.  About.  You!” back in the day?)  It’s a catchy song.  You can kind of dance to it.  You can play it really loud when you’re trying to freak out your mom.  The lyrics are fun to write inside your diary whenever you’ve had a bad day.

The music video features three people who hate everything about someone else.  One guy is being cheated upon by his girlfriend.  One girl is going out with the type of smirkey douchebag who has been killed in countless Lifetime films.  Another teenager has to deal with an abusive father.  They all go to a hill where they destroy stuff.  It’s kind of like how you’re supposed to set your lover’s pictures on fire if you break up.  Personally, I say keep the pictures and get a voodoo doll.  Just a few pokes from a sharp pin and you’ll have all the revenge you want!  And you won’t have to go to some ugly old hill either.  Voodoo is a revenge that you can practice from the safety of your own bedroom.  Voodo?  You do!

The music video was directed by Scott Winig.  The cinematography was done by Steve Gainer, who was also one of the credited cinematographers on Movie 43.  I mean, goddamn, you want to talk about hate.

Anyway, I hope that you’re not hating anyone right now.  I used to hate my neighbor because his dogs were always barking but then I remembered that karma is harsh and unforgiving.  This is indeed a disturbing universe, one that is perhaps ruled by the blind and dumb Azathoth.

Just a reminder: In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.


Music Video of The Day: Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? by Paula Cole (1997, dir. by Caitlin Fenton)

If you’re wondering where all the cowboys have gone, you’re not alone.  I wonder that too whenever I see a video of some vegan freaking out over having to kill a spider.  Where have all the cowboys gone?  They’re probably working on a ranch and too busy to get on social media.  The world may be changing but men who ride bulls are still way more appealing than men who beg for retweets.

This song is actually about a break-up.  The singer has broken up with her boyfriend and now she’s wondering where all the cowboys have gone.  In the video, she’s singing about it in a dead forest.  Maybe that’s the problem.  She’s looking for cowboys but she’s hanging out on the set of a horror movie.  You’re not going to find many cowboys there.  Stop hanging out in the forest and get down to Fort Worth for the stock show.

I’m glad the Dallas Cowboys never tried to make this their official song.

Music Video Of The Day: Cry by Mandy Moore (2001, dir. by Chris Applebaum)

This song is from A Walk To Remember, which was Mandy Moore’s biggest starring role until she got cast on This Is Us.  If you haven’t seen A Walk To Remember, Mandy Moore plays a girl who marries Shane West but then dies a year later.

I guess this video is a sequel because now Mandy Moore is singing to Shane West from Heaven while Shane watches old home movies of him and Mandy goofing off between filming their scenes.  Shane uses a telescope and discovers that he can see Mandy in Heaven and Mandy looks really happy.  Then Shane goes into the city and is reminded that his romance with Mandy was just a part of a movie.  I don’t know if that’s a happy ending or not.

Music Video of the Day: All or Nothing by O-Town (2001, dir. by Marcus Raboy)

Does everyone remember O-Town?  They were the band that was created on a reality show and we all thought that their name meant Orgasm Town but it was actually because they were from Orlando?  O-Town was the boy band that existed to make other boy bands look tough and dangerous by comparison.

All or Nothing is a typical boy band song and this is a typical boy band video.  The song is about the lead singer of O-Town realizing that his girlfriend is still hung up on Justin Timberlake.  He sings that he can tell by the distant look in her eyes and he just doesn’t think they can be together as long as she’s dreaming about Justin.  He wants it all or he’ll settle for nothing.  There’s no such thing as a compromise when you’re from the O.

Music Video of the Day: The Hardest Thing by 98° (2000, dir. by Wayne Isham)

The Hardest Thing is a skeevy boy band song about how the hardest thing is saying goodbye to your mistress.  That’s what the song is about.  That’s the hardest thing.  The hardest thing for some people is to figure out how to put food on the table and to make sure their children make it home safely.  The hardest thing for 98º is having to choose between being loyal to your significant other or hooking up with Becky and Tiffany and Sandy and everyone else on the strip.  Even though the band knows that the hardest thing they’ll ever have to do is say goodbye to the woman that they’re cheating with, they also know that they’ll meet up again someday and maybe the time will be right for them to continue their affair.  What?  How does that make sense?  I can’t cheat with you now but maybe in three months.  OK, guys.

According to the video, Nick Lachey is a boxer so maybe that’s why this song seems to be punch drunk.  His mistress is a showgirl.  I can’t imagine Nick every winning a fight, can you?  Ladies and gentleman, with a record of 1 win and 30 losses by knockout, it’s Nick Lachey!  His mistress can probably do better.  Are the Backstreet Boys in town?