Today, after I finished up Halloween, I switched over to MeTV and I watched a Halloween episode of that very 70s series, The Love Boat!
Why Was I Watching It?
A special Halloween episode of the silliest television series ever!? And one featuring Vincent Price as an illusionist!? How couldn’t I watch?
What Was It About?
For the ship’s Halloween cruise, the Amazing Alozno (Vincent Price) has been hired to do his act. He’s quite the illusionist. Through a combination of hypnotism and magic, he transforms the ship into a magical wonderland where people turn into donkeys and the pool briefly appears to be a giant ice cream sundae. But will Alonzo also be able to conjure up love or will he continue to ignore his devoted fiancée and instead, only worry about keeping his fans happy?
Meanwhile, a model (Barbara Anderson) who is recovering from a serious car accident has absolutely no use for illusion. She just wants to stay in her cabin but her friend, who also happens to be the cruise director, demands that she enjoy the cruise.
Vincent Price as an illusionist!? Hell yeah! Okay, the illusions were kind of dumb and never really made sense and the show never actually explained how he could turn Gopher and Doc into donkeys but …. well, isn’t the silliness kind of the point? The important thing is that he was Vincent Price and he appeared to be having time of his life. Good for him!
Barbara Anderson actually gave a pretty good dramatic performance as the model. Admittedly, it did feel a little strange to have this extremely dramatic story playing out beside scenes of Vincent Price turning people into donkeys and transforming the ship’s pool into a giant ice cream sundae but again, I guess that was kind of the appeal of the show. It’s all weird and somehow, it works.
The boat, incidentally, looked really nice. I’m going to take a cruise now.
What Did Not Work?
On the Love Boat, everything works!
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments
I could relate to the model and before anyone rolls their eyes, allow me to explain. When I was 19, I was in a pretty serious car accident. The car that I was in flipped over and I basically ended up upside down in the driver’s seat, surrounded by broken glass. Later, I was told that, when people saw the damage the car, they assumed that I had to have died. Instead, I only got a few scrapes, bruises, and cuts. I ended up with two permanent scars — a small one on my hand and then another one on the side of my neck. And for years, I was so self-conscious of that scar on my neck, even though it faded quickly and I now realize it was barely noticeable. I obsessed on it, though, both because I disliked having it and also because it reminded me of a traumatic event. All the angst and worrying that I did about it seems kind of silly now.
Love won’t have to hurt anymore. It’s an open smile on a friendly shore.