Monthly Archives: February 2024

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 1.23 “The Right Thing”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Jonathan encourages an elderly man not to give up.

Episode 1.23 “The Right Thing”

(Dir by Victor French, originally aired on March 27th, 1985)

Elderly Harry Haynes (Lew Ayres) lives with his son (Michael Durrell), his daughter-in-law (Marcia Rodd), and his grandson, Matt (Matthew Labyorteaux).  When Harry wets the bed one too many times, his daughter-in-law demands that he be moved to a nursing home.  (I suppose it’s a sign of the time that, too modern ears, that may sound like the set up for a tasteless joke but it’s actually how the episode begins and Lew Ayres does such a good job portraying Harry’s shame and panic that your heart just breaks for him.)  Harry isn’t happy about going to the nursing home and he’s on the verge of giving up on life.  Fortunately, the new orderly is Jonathan Smith and Harry is the week’s mission.  Jonathan isn’t just in the nursing home to pass out magazines and books.  He’s also there to encourage Harry not to give up hope.

This episode is the epitome of what most people would probably come up with if they were asked to describe a typical episode of Highway to Heaven.  It’s sentimental, emotional, and so achingly sincere that it’s hard not to get caught up in it, regardless of how heavy-handed and occasionally simplistic the storytelling may be.  With Jonathan’s encouragement, Harry starts to run with his grandson.  Harry and Matt enters a grandparent/grandson relay race together.  Harry’s son says that, if Harry wins, he’ll be allowed to move back home.  Harry does win  but it turns out that no one told his daughter-in-law about the deal.  To the show’s credit, Harry’s daughter-in-law is not monster.  She’s just exhausted from having to take care of the house, her teenage son, and an elderly man.  Harry realizes that it wouldn’t be fair to her for him to move back in so, instead, he announces that he’s going to travel and see as much of the world as he can in the time he has left.

There was nothing subtle about the plot of this episode but Lew Ayres gives a sensitive and honest performance as Harry and Matthew Labyorteaux matches him as Harry’s grandson.  (Lew Ayres was an excellent actor whose career began in the early days of Hollywood.  He starred in the Oscar-winning All Quiet on The Western Front but his own pacifist beliefs led to him being temporarily blacklisted when he registered as a conscientious objector.  He later made a comeback, appearing in films like Johnny Belinda and Advise and Consent but never receiving an Oscar nomination, due to the controversy over his beliefs.)  This is a sweet episode, even if it is perhaps a bit simplistic with its message that old age can be held off by simply not giving up.  Sad to say but aging is going to get us all eventually.

Retro Television Review: King Of The Building 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing King of the Building, which aired on CBS in 1987.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Richard Lewis is a doorman.

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by James Komack, originally aired on July 31st, 1987)

Joey (Richard Lewis) is the …. KING OF THE BUILDING!

Well, no.  Actually, he’s just a doorman for a Park Avenue apartment building.  The owner of the building, Mr. Jamison (Simon Jones), is the real king of the building but the elderly residents all prefer to deal with Joey.  That’s because Mr. Jamison is greedy and venal and always looking for an excuse to kick people out of their apartments.  His latest target is Mrs. Gladstone (Billie Bird), who has dementia and thinks that Joey is her son, Elliot.

(Mrs. Gladstone has a sitcom form of dementia, where all of her mistakes are quirky and she never loses her temper or gets paranoid or disappears for hours on end.)

When Mr. Jamison brings in a social worker (Lora Staley) to try to get Mrs. Gladatone ruled incompetent, Joey and the other workers at the building conspire to make it appear as if all of Mrs. Gladstone’s confusion is due to Mr. Jamison keeping her apartment in disrepair.  The social worker declares that Mrs, Gladstone will be fine as long as Joey is working at the building.

(Personally, I would think this would lead to Mr. Jamison just firing Joey so he could then get rid of Mrs. Gladstone but that doesn’t seem to occur to him.  Of course, Joey also mentions that he’s a member of a union so maybe Joey has his job for life.  I hope it pays well.)

This was a pilot for a series that presumably would have followed Joey as he protected the elderly residents from Jamison.  It only aired once and it didn’t lead to a series.  Watching the pilot, it’s easy to see why.  Richard Lewis, who passed away two days ago, was a comedian who was acclaimed and famous for his ability to comedically explore what it meant to be truly neurotic.  There’s not really anything neurotic or obsessive or even particularly interesting about Joey.  He gets nervous and he complains a lot but, in the end, he’s just a blue collar doorman who doesn’t like his boss.  Lewis is likable but miscast in the role.  Watching him, one gets the feeling that Lewis was holding back all of his natural instincts to play the rather subdued and sensible Joey.

Despite the failed pilot, Richard Lewis would continue to appear in television and moves for the rest of his life and he became a bit of a cultural institution.  On Curb Your Enthusiasm, he often played the voice of reason to Larry David and proved that one could play sensible without losing his edge.  And, of course, a generation will always remember him as King John.

Rest in peace, Richard Lewis.

Music Video of the Day: So Much (For) Stardust by Fallout Boy (2024, dir by Brendan Walter)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s music video of the day, we have the latest from Fallout Boy.  This song has a very surreal, otherworldly feel to it and, as such, it is ideal for a day like February 29th, a day that only exists every four years.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.22 “Satan In The Suburbs”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

Odd episode, this week.

Episode 1.22 “Satan In The Suburbs”

(Dir by Warner Shook, originally aired on May 13th, 1989)

Despite having graduated from Yale (and having the sweatshirt to prove it), Xantipe Finch (Deborah Strang) is struggling.  Unable to interest any publishers in any of her books and raising her son, Marty (Danny Gerard), alone, Xantipe is forced to make extra money through baking and selling cookies.  The bill collectors keep calling and threatening to turn off her electricity and to kick her and Marty out onto the streets.

Then a mysterious man (played by a young Chris Noth) materializes in her kitchen.  The man says that he’s come from Hell.  Because he won a football bet with Satan, the man has been allowed to come to Earth and to recruit Xantipe to write his autobiography.  If the book is published, the man will continue to be a happy demon.  If the book fails, he’ll be either demoted or turned into a low-level angel.  Huh?  What?  I don’t know.  It didn’t make any sense while the man was explaining it and it doesn’t make any sense now that I’m typing it up.

Reluctantly, Xantipe helps the man.  The man, for his part, deals with the bill collectors and also starts to corrupt both Xantipe and her son.  The book gets written and published but Xantipe rejects the devil’s influence, even though it means returning to a life of struggling to pay the bills.  The episode ends with Xantipe back in her kitchen, baking cookies.  The man is also there but he now has tiny angel wings on his back.

Yeah, I don’t know what any of it means either.  It makes even less sense when you watch it.

This was not a great episode.  It was never really explained why the book has to be written, why Xantipe had to be the one to help write it, or why the man turned into an angel.  The episode ended with a suggestion that Xantipe and the man were now in love but there was nothing in the 20 minutes that preceded it that would have set the audience up for that ending.  Chris Noth was adequate as the demon and Deborah Strang was likable as Xantipe but otherwise, this episode felt like filler.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.5 and 4.6 “The Mallory Quest/Julie, the Vamp/The Offer”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s a special two-hour episode of The Love Boat!

Episodes 4.5 and 4.6 “The Mallory Quest/Julie, The Vamp/The Offer”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on November 15th, 1980)

This week, The Love Boat heads off on a two-week cruise that will take the ship, its crew, and its passengers through the Panama Canal.  There will also be stops at all the various islands on the way.  This is important because this is one of the episodes that was actually filmed on location.  Instead of the usual sets, we get to watch the action play out on an actual cruise ship.

Unfortunately, the actual cruise ship is kind of …. well, tacky.  Seriously, it’s hard not to notice that the hallways and the front lobby all look considerably more cramped and weathered than they have in other episodes of The Love Boat.  It’s also hard not to notice that the extras (who were apparently actual passengers) are all considerably older than the usual Love Boat background actors.

In fact, with the ship in such disrepair, it is any shocked that Captain Stubing is thinking of leaving?  When his old friend, Charlie (Dick Van Patten), boards the ship, he brings him a job offer.  If Stubing accepts the offer, he’ll be living in New York, he’ll be making three times the money, and Vicki will get to have a normal life.  Stubing loves the sea but he also wants Vicki to have a good future.  Vicki — in a scene that was well-acted by both Jill Whelan and Gavin MacLeod — tells him not to worry about her and that he needs to do what makes him happy.  And so, the Captain stays with the boat and I presume Vicki will continue to be taught by the tutor that we occasionally hear about but never actually see.

Meanwhile, Julie McCoy has been accused of being a vamp!  Maude Victor (Lani O’Grady) is convinced that Julie is trying to steal her fiancé, Roger (Bart Braverman).  Eventually, Roger himself become confused and Julie pretends to be interested in Roger just to get Roger and Maude back together again.  This was a dumb story and I don’t want to waste any more time on it.

Indeed, for all the Stubing drama and Julie silliness, this two-hour episode was dominated by one story.  Arrogant novelist Brian Mallory (Pernell Roberts) boards the boat with his long-suffering wife, Janet (Gayle Hunnicutt).  Brian has secretly bought tickets for three other passengers.  Peter (Skip Stephenson) is an insurance agent who is due to donate a kidney to his brother.  Marvin (Jimmie Walker) owns a bookstore.  Marcia Rand (Connie Stevens) brings along her fitness-obsessed boyfriend, Dave Porter (Peter Lupus).  Mallory reveals that Peter, Marvin, Marcia, and Gopher were the last four people to see his nephew, Tom.  Mallory has never met his nephew but he wants to track him down and apparently, Tom is living on one of the islands that the cruise is scheduled to visit.  Brian wants the four of them to help him look for Tom and he offers a $10,000 reward to make things interesting.  Why does Brian want to find his nephew?  Eventually, it is revealed that Tom is in possession of a family heirloom that Brian feels is rightfully his.  Sinister Lucius Kergo (Sorrell Brooke) is also on the cruise and he is determined to get the heirloom for himself.

Janet grows so tired of Brian’s arrogance and his obsession with finding his nephew that she declares that she’s leaving him.  Since the cruise is booked up, she ends up staying with Doc Bricker.  Doc falls for Janet but he realizes that she truly loves Brian and, when Brian starts to show some humility and some remorse for the way that he’s treated her, Doc encourages her to go back to him …. which she does because this is The Love Boat, not The Divorce Boat.

Anyway, Tom Mallory is eventually tracked down to a monastery in Puerto Rico.  Tom gives Brian the heirloom but the newly kind Brian gives it back to him so that he can sell it and use the money to build a free clinic.  Good for Brian!

Disheveled cruise ship aside and ignoring that terrible Julie plot, this was a fun episode.  The island scenery was gorgeous and the mystery of Tom’s location actually turned out to be a lot more intriguing than I was expecting it would.  Watching this episode made me want to take a cruise, even if it is a tacky one.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.16 “The Curator”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

Yep, it’s another late review.  Sorry, I was exhausted last night.

Episode 1.16 “The Curator”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on March 9th, 1996)

When Garth Youngblood (Steven Culp) threatens to shoot himself in her lifeguard tower, Caroline Holdren (Yasmine Bleeth) begs him not to and tells him that he not only has a lot to live but his name isn’t half as stupid as he thinks that it is.  Deciding that Caroline is in love with him, Garth turns into a full-on psycho, the type of guy who chases Caroline across the beach, puts Lifeguard Newman (Michael Newman) in the hospital, flirts with Donna, and ultimately ends up locking Caroline in a cage made to resemble an apartment, much as what happened to Billy Pilgrim in Slaughter-House Five.

Caroline turns to Mitch and his detective agency for protection. Of course, as head lifeguard, Mitch is already Caroline’s boss so he already should be looking out for her.  Unfortunately, even after Garth is arrested, he’s released after he explains that he forgot to take his Prozac.  (That’s the actual excuse that they give!  Never mind that everyone’s favorite lifeguard, Newmie!, is in the hospital because Garth smashed his head through a window.)  Garth is given a restraining but, because Caroline works on the beach, it’s easy for Garth to watch her while standing 100 feet away.

Now, on the plus side, Steven Culp was believably creepy as Garth and this episode had no fear of embracing the storyline for all of the macabre melodrama that it could.  Yasmine Bleeth also does a good job portraying Caroline’s growing fear as Garth grows more and more unstable.  As an actress on Baywatch, I’m sure she had to deal with a lot of real-life Garths and, speaking as someone who has been stalked, I appreciated that both Bleeth and the show itself took her fears seriously.  The scene in which Caroline runs across the beach with Garth in pursuit was far more effective and scary than you would ever expect to find on an episode of Baywatch Nights.

That said, this episode highlighted one of the big problems with the second half of Baywatch Night‘s debut season.  This was essentially just an episode of Baywatch, with the extra addition of Angie Harmon flirting with Mitch and Eddie Cibrian’s Griff standing the background.  (I guess Griff is a part of the detective agency now.)  Baywatch Nights originally started as a show about Mitch spending his nights as a private investigator but this episode took place largely during the day and featured Mitch as a lifeguard.  Baywatch Nights without the nights is just Baywatch.

Fear not, though!  We’re just a few episodes away from one of the most radical reboots in television history!

Music Video of the Day: Obsession by Joywave (2019, dir by Laura Gorun, Cooper Roussel and Dimitri Basil)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

We all have our obsessions.  Right now, my obsession is trying to wake up and get back on my usual posting schedule.  Perhaps this song and music video will help.

Enjoy!

Retro Television: Fantasy Island 4.15 “Loving Strangers/Something Borrowed, Something Blue”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Sorry for running late with the review today.  Are you prepared for some romance?

Episode 4.15 “Loving Strangers/Something Borrowed, Something Blue”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 14th, 1981)

It’s a special Valentine’s Day episode of Fantasy Island!

Now, I have to admit that my first reaction to this was to think that I would be pretty depressed if I spent a Valentine’s Day at home, watching Fantasy Island.  But then I realized that’s pretty much what happened to me this year.  I had the excuse of a sprained ankle, though.  Add to that, I was watching The Love Boat instead of Fantasy Island and Jeff and I still had a romantic time, even if I was stuck on the couch for most of the day.

(For the record, my ankle is doing much better.  It only hurts with every 20th step now.)

Anyway, both of this episode’s fantasies are about falling in love.

Tom (Peter Marshall) and Margaret Wilkerson (Jane Powell) have been married for 25 years.  It’s been a happy marriage but they’re both curious whether they would still fall in love if they met each other as the way they are now.  Their fantasy is to meet again for the very first time.  Mr. Roarke warns them that this might not be a good idea but Tom and Margaret still choose to walk through the Door of Forgetfulness and immediately forget that they know each other or that they’re married.  Uh-oh — Tom’s flirting with a younger woman!  And Margaret just met international man of mystery, Cesar Romero.  Well, that marriage is doomed.  Or is it?

No, of course, it’s not doomed.  This is Fantasy Island and it’s Valentine’s Day.  Still, you do have to wonder why Roarke grants fantasies that could so easily go terribly wrong.  What if Tom and Margaret hadn’t eventually found each other again?  How would that be explained to the members of their family in Indiana?  Does Mr. Roarke ever worry about getting sued?

As for the other fantasy, Jack Foster (John Gavin) wants to marry Pamela Archer (Shelley Smith) on the Island.  The wedding is being planned.  Tattoo is calling people to order the cake and the plates and the silverware and it’s actually kind of neat to see Tattoo do something other than glare at Mr. Roarke.  However, Pamela has not told Jack the truth about her trampy past and she fears that, if the truth comes out, it will destroy Jack’s campaign to be governor of Illinois.  (I don’t know what she’s worried about.  It’s not like Illinois has a reputation for being run by ruthless political machine or anything.)  Pamela wants to marry Jack but …. OH NO, IT’S MARJOE GORTNER!

Marjoe plays Nick Corbin, who was apparently Pamela’s pimp in her previous life.  He’s come to Fantasy Island to drag Pamela away from Jack and Pamela feels that she has to go with him in order to protect Jack.  Jack reveals that he knows about her past and he doesn’t care.  He then confronts Nick, who pulls a knife on him.  OH NO!  Fortunately, Mr. Roarke appears and literally tosses Nick 20 feet into the air.  I’m not kidding, either.  MARJOE GORTNER GOES FLYING!

With Nick taken care of, Jack and Pamela have an incredibly tacky wedding.  Mr. Roarke walks Pamela down the aisle because apparently, Pamela has no family.  That’s kind of sad.

But the important thing is that everything worked out.  To be honest, neither fantasy was that interesting but I’m always happy to see Marjoe Gortner.  No one glowered quite like Marjoe!