Lisa Marie Reviews The Amazing Race 39.7 “The Amazing Nightmare”


DOUG AND DYLAN! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Actually, I knew that Doug and Dylan were going to get eliminated eventually. You can’t consistently come in second-to-last without it eventually catching up to you. Doug and Dylan struggled through the entire race, but they were just so likable and energetic that I couldn’t help but hold onto hope that things would suddenly start going better for them. They would have been eliminated last week if it hadn’t been a non-elimination leg. That meant they left with an Automatic U-Turn in Sri Lanka, and it proved to be too much for them to overcome. What I love is that they never lost their positive spirit. I’ll miss them.

Doug and Dylan were not the only team having to do a U-Turn. This episode started with the teams, having arrived in Sri Lanka, voting for a Double U-Turn. Each team picked two other teams that they wanted to U-Turn, and not surprisingly, the majority of the votes went to Matt and Michelle and Daisha and Dalton. Daisha was shocked and on the verge of tears. Matt took the votes as a compliment. Michelle said that the rest of the teams were “dead to me,” and I wanted to cheer. Matt and Michelle don’t mince words, and I love them for it.

Here’s how the votes broke down:

  • Erin & Javi voted for Matt & Michelle and Ali & Joanna.
  • Ali & Joanna voted for Matt & Michelle and Daisha & Dalton.
  • Conner & Garrett voted for Matt & Michelle and Daisha & Dalton.
  • Daisha & Dalton voted for Matt & Michelle and Anuar & Andrea.
  • Doug & Dylan voted for Daisha & Dalton and Anuar & Andrea.
  • Anuar & Andrea voted for Matt & Michelle and Daisha & Dalton.
  • Matt & Michelle voted for Anuar & Andrea and Ali & Joanna.
  • Ann-Marie & Riley voted for Matt & Michelle and Daisha & Dalton, but they assured us that they really like the people they voted for.

In the case of Matt & Michelle, the Double U-Turn was not a problem. They still finished in third place. Even Phil, who rarely smiles when talking to Matt & Michelle, seemed to be impressed. Daisha & Dalton struggled a bit, but they still managed to make it to the Pit Stop just a few minutes ahead of Doug & Dylan.

Here’s how everyone finished this week:

Ali & Joanna finished in first. Their best moment was when Ali wondered if they should share some information with Riley & Ann-Marie, and Joanna quickly shot down the idea. I guess the alliance was on hold during this leg of the race.

Anuar & Andrea finished in second. I wasn’t expecting them to be one of the strongest teams this season, but they truly are.

Matt & Michelle said, “Suck it, haters!” and finished in third place, ahead of most of the teams that voted to U-Turn them.

Conner & Garrett finished in fourth place. I like Conner & Garrett, but being consistently in the middle of the pack is going to cost them eventually.

Ann-Marie and Riley finished in fifth place. For all of the time that the show has devoted to these two, and for the amount of bragging that Riley does about how she’s good at everything, they’ve consistently finished in the middle. There are only seven teams left, so a fifth-place finish is nothing to be happy about.

Erin and Javi finished in sixth. At first, I didn’t like this team. They’ve grown on me. Last night, I loved it when Javi complained about Anuar & Andrea and Riley & Ann-Marie just deciding that they were all going to work together just because they were on the same bus. Still, they need to get in some stronger finishes, or else they’re going to be in trouble.

Daisha & Dalton finished in seventh, entirely due to the Double U-Turn. I think they’ll be fine, despite their struggles during this episode.

And finally, Doug & Dylan were the last to arrive and were elim— NOOOOOOOOOO!

They were eliminated, but they left the race having won the hearts of thousands of viewers.

Lisa Marie Reviews Survivor 51.7 “The Girl At The Prom”


So long, Brady. Usually, when someone is the first to be voted out after the merge on Survivor, we say that we hardly knew them because it’s usually not until a few episodes after the merge that the castaways start to emerge as individuals as opposed to just tribemates. In the case of Brady, we might be tempted to say that we knew him too well.

Brad was the dominant player during the first half of the season. He was big and strong and he competed even after chopping off a piece of his thumb with a machete. He was exactly the type of player that you want on your tribe when you’re having to compete as a group because he was strong enough to carry you over the finish line. On the other hand, Brady was also kind of dumb and more than a little arrogant and his habit of constantly bragging about himself got to be a bit much to take. If I had been on his tribe, I would have started to make plans to vote him out as soon as I heard him refer to the other members of his alliance as being his “Bradys.” Brady didn’t seem to realize that being so dominant in challenges would make him a natural target once the merge happened. The same guy who leads your group to victory becomes a threat once you’re playing for individual immunity.

So, I’m not surprised that Brady was voted out. He wasn’t a strategic threat but he was definitely a physical threat. The other names that were tossed around after the immunity challenge — Kilby, Kristen, and Eric — don’t come across as if they’re going to be winning a lot of immunity challenges. It’s easy to look at them and say, “Well, we can vote them out whenever we feel like it.” With a player like Brady, you have to take your shot when you can.

Still, Mike was right when he told Jeff Probst that he was lucky to be wearing his immunity necklace. Mike has somehow managed to make it to the merge without establishing any single strong personal relationship with anyone else in the game. No one trusts him. Until he won the first individual immunity, everyone was planning on voting him out. Mike himself awkwardly tried to involve himself in Brady’s plan to vote out Eric and ended up alienating everyone, including Brady. (Brady was not smart enough to hide his irritation which led to Mike joining the majority to vote out Brady.)

Tribal was chaotic. It’s difficult to coordinate 13 people and it was clear that quite a few people went into tribal with no idea what the plan was. Some people thought the tribe was voting for Eric and some people thought the tribe was voting for Brady. The best part of Tribal, for me, was Lewis asking why everyone was talking so much and it is true that there are some people this season who are very much in love with the sound of their own voice. (Devin’s psychobabble gets worse with each episode.) Brady obviously loved the sound of his voice but we won’t be hearing it again until the final episode.

By a vote of 9-4, Brady became the first juror. Carter, Lewis, Thien An, and Brady all voted for Eric. Everyone else voted for Brady. Brady seems to be genuinely surprised that all of his Bradys voted for him. He shouldn’t have been.

Join #TubiThursday For Time Walker!


Hi, everyone!  Tonight, on Mastodon, I will be hosting the #TubiThursday watch party!  Join us for Time Walker!

You can find the movie on Tubi and YouTube and you can join us on Mastodon at 9 pm central time!  (That’s 10 pm for you folks on the East Coast.)  We will be using #TubiThursday hashtag!  See you then!

Scenes I Love: The Show Trial In National Lampoon’s Animal House


It’s been two days since the midterms and already the victors are calling for show trials.  It’s a good strategy because it’s not like these people have any incentive to actually do anything until 2028.  If you make things affordable too quickly, you might not be able to campaign on “Let me finish the job.”  Today’s scene that I love features a show trial.

In 1978’s Animal House, Dean Wormer and the Student Court try to railroad the Delta House.  Needless, the Deltas aren’t going to stand for that.  When Hoover’s earnest defense fails to sway the Dean, the Deltas don’t hold back.  I love this movie and I love this scene.  And today, it takes on a special significance.  Sadly, a lot of people today would probably sympathize with the Dean and ask why the Deltas couldn’t just follow the rules like good little worker drones.

4 Shots From 4 Films: My Favorite Movies Edition


It’ll be my birthday soon so today, here are four shots from my four favorite films!

(Edit: When I first wrote this, I forgot to type out “soon” because it was late and I was tired.  My birthday is the 9th.)

4 Shots From My 4 Favorite Films

It Happened One Night (1934, dir by Frank Capra, DP: Joseph Walker)

It’s A Wonderful Life (1946, dir by Frank Capra, DP: Joseph Walker and Joseph Biroc)

The Godfather (1972, dir by Francis Ford Coppola, DP: Gordon Willis)

Suspiria (1977, dir by Dario Argento, DP: Luciano Tovoli)

Music Video of the Day: Hold On Tight by Electric Light Orchestra (1981, directed by Mike Mansfield)


At the time it was released, this video was the most expensive music video ever filmed.  It was estimated to have cost £40,000, with the majority of the money going to recreating scenes from 1940s serials.

Director Mike Mansfield also did videos for Kim Wilde, Ozzy Osbourne, The Cure, The Moody Blues, and almost every other prominent British band of the early 80s.

Enjoy!

Film Review: The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh (dir. by Gilbert Moses)


“The stars don’t lie. I do, but they don’t.” — Mona Mondieu

Winning is usually the whole point of a sports movie, but The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh makes a pretty good case for looking fabulous while you figure everything else out. Gilbert Moses’s 1979 basketball comedy is full of music, outlandish ideas, and the kind of confidence that can make a shaky premise surprisingly entertaining. Its plot involves rebuilding a losing team through astrology, which should tell you how much realistic sports management to expect. The movie is messy, sometimes sluggish, and not nearly as funny as it wants to be. Yet its greatest asset is enthusiasm, especially when it stops explaining itself and lets basketball and music take over.

The struggling team is the Pittsburgh Pythons, whose star player, Moses Guthrie, cannot single-handedly turn things around. Guthrie is played by Julius “Dr. J.” Erving, and casting a basketball legend gives the film an immediate advantage: nobody needs convincing that this guy belongs on the court. The unconventional rescue plan comes from Tyrone Millman, the team’s young ballboy, played by James Bond III. Tyrone turns to astrologer Mona Mondieu, played by Stockard Channing, and together they pursue a roster built around Guthrie’s zodiac sign. With enough Pisces playing together, the thinking goes, chemistry should take care of itself. The newly named Pittsburgh Pisces are born.

As a hook, that is silly in an appealingly specific way. Plenty of sports comedies bring together oddballs and hope their clashing personalities will generate laughs. This one adds the suggestion that the universe has already handled the personnel decisions. The astrology gives the familiar comeback story an eccentric identity, and the movie deserves some credit for not constantly winking at its own ridiculousness. Tyrone believes in the plan, Mona has her own unusual authority, and the story gives their scheme room to work. The audience is not asked to take astrology seriously so much as accept it as the rule of this particular playground.

The trouble is that the setup promises more comic invention than the screenplay consistently delivers. Once the players have been gathered, the narrative becomes much more ordinary. The team improves, the games provide milestones, and the expected feel-good trajectory settles into place. There is nothing inherently wrong with a predictable sports story, but predictability needs support from strong characters or especially good jokes. Here, both are uneven. Too many players feel like introductions waiting for further development. We understand that they are a colorful bunch, but the film does not always give us enough reason to care about them individually.

Some of that broad characterization has also aged badly. Winston Running Hawk, the Native American player, is an obvious example of the movie leaning on a stereotype instead of building a personality. Those shortcuts make the comedy feel lazier than its central idea deserves. A film about discovering an unexpected connection among outsiders ought to be curious about the people making that connection. Instead, it sometimes seems satisfied simply to put unusual figures in the same uniform. The result is a team whose visual identity is stronger than its emotional one. You can enjoy watching the Pisces without becoming particularly invested in everybody wearing the jersey.

Erving is the exception, although not because he turns out to be a natural screen actor. His dialogue scenes can feel stiff, and the romantic material involving Guthrie and Tyrone’s sister, Toby, played by Margaret Avery, never develops much spark. On the court, however, the movie suddenly has something it cannot fake. Erving’s movement is fluid, assured, and genuinely pleasurable to watch. His athletic ability supplies the charisma that the dramatic scenes struggle to capture. Rather than wishing he were a more polished actor, you start wishing the movie would stop interrupting him with scenes that require a different set of skills.

Channing and James Bond III help keep the off-court material alive. Mona’s eccentricity fits the movie’s peculiar logic, while Tyrone supplies the sincere desire underneath the gimmick. His faith in the team gives the story a small but useful emotional anchor. Still, the most reliable source of energy is Thom Bell’s soundtrack. The music gives the basketball sequences a buoyancy that makes the film feel less like a conventional competition narrative and more like an extended celebration. When the action and soundtrack click together, the looseness becomes easier to accept. You stop waiting for the next plot development and start enjoying the atmosphere.

That atmosphere reaches its natural peak in the extravagant arena spectacle, complete with silver-lamé uniforms and a hot-air-balloon entrance. It is excessive, but excess is where this movie feels most comfortable. The flashier it becomes, the less its ordinary storytelling seems to matter. That does not magically repair the weak jokes or thin relationships, but it makes clear what the film has been reaching for all along: not sporting realism, but a fantasy in which a basketball team can become the center of a joyful, slightly ridiculous communal event.

The fairest way to judge The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh is probably by the mood it leaves behind rather than the strength of its story. Its flaws are easy to list, and a tighter script could have made much better use of its cast and premise. Even so, there is something appealing about a movie that treats basketball as an excuse for imagination rather than another lesson in grit. It does not earn every laugh or emotional payoff, but it earns some affection through sheer commitment to its own oddball pleasures. The Pisces may need the stars to align; the movie mostly needs the music turned up and Erving back on the court.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.10 “Heaven Help Me”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, the Bulls have got a problem on the field!

Episode 5.10 “Heaven Help Me”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on December 20th, 1989)

Due to a bad call from an incompetent referee, the Bulls lose a close game. Coach Denardo gets angry and takes it out on the players. Kristy (Shannon Tweed) and TD Parker (OJ Simpson) suspect that the referee might have an agenda of his own. What can be done? Maybe TD knows someone who is good with a knife….

Fortunately, it doesn’t go that far. Kristy does some research and discovers that, in his day job, the referee does business with a rival owner. She goes to the Commissioner with her suspicions and the Commissioner agrees to take the referee out of the rotation. Wow, that was simple.

Meanwhile, Coach Denardo is visited by the spirits of Vince Lombardi (Ralph Monaco) and Bear Bryant (Bob Larkin), who both inform him that he’s going to go to Hell unless he’s nicer to his players. Before the next game, Denardo tells the players that he’s proud of them and that he just wants them to do their best. With the referee having been permanently retired, the Bulls win the game. Yay! Coach Denardo is going to Heaven!

Finally, Jethro meets a woman (Deborah Lacey) who claims to be the princess of an African nation. Jethro falls for her and is forgiving when he discovers that she’s actually just a maid.

This was another strange episode of 1st & Ten. The episode features three plots that really didn’t go anywhere. But I guess the important thing is that the Bulls are going to the playoffs and OJ didn’t have to kill anyone. That’s a victory in my book.