Someday, when the humans sit down and try to figure out what led to the cats losing all respect for them and subsequently conquering the world, it will be because of days like this. It’s April Fools Day, a day when people express their love for each other by playing mean jokes and telling viscous lies. Today, thousands of people will briefly think they’ve gotten a promotion at work. Others will celebrate the news of an unexpected pregnancy or they’ll be shocked to learn that their cousin got married over the weekend. There’s going to be a lot of drama and, in the end, it’ll all end with someone yelling “April Fools!” That’s supposed to make it all okay.
Today will be a day of hurt feelings and anger so we here at the Shattered Lens suggest that you spend today watching a movie. Actually, we suggest that you watch at least four movies. Maybe even five. Just watch however many movies you need to watch in order to ensure that you have an excuse not to interact with anyone today. Stay off social media. Avoid twitter. For the love of God, don’t go anywhere near Facebook. Turn off your phone and don’t check your email.
Just watch the movies and make sure that your cat is properly taken care of. If ever there’s a day that should make you appreciate the straight-forward pragmatism of a cat, it should be today. In this history of this cursed holiday, no cat has ever been an April fool. To be an April fool, you have to make the mistake of caring about whether or not your cousin got married in Vegas over the weekend. Cats know better. Being a cat means never having to say that your sorry. It also means never falling for any human pranks.
Happy April Fools Day, everyone.
On this day, watch a movie. May I suggest starting with this one?
As you probably noticed from today’s previous posts, it’s Oscar Sunday!
For many humans and cats, today is an unofficial holiday! Today is the day that we find out who and what the Academy has selected for the best of last year! We may agree. We may disagree. But a lot of us will be watching!
Happy Oscar Sunday, everyone! Please enjoy today’s Oscar-related posts. Who knows? We might even toss in some non-Oscar related posts as well! You never know!
(Next year’s sure winner for Best Supporting Kitty, Goose!)
From the humans and the cat at the Shattered Lens to all of you, happy Valentine’s Day!
Some people, like the flame-haired one, love this day while the others, like almost all of the silly humans on twitters, hate this day. Of course, if you’re a cat, every day is Valentine’s Day!
Whether you’re celebrating, observing, or denouncing this day, here’s hoping that it’s a good one for you and all of your loved ones!
As they say in the homeland, “Is tú mo ghrá!”
(Picture by Erin Nicole)
You did it!
You survived 2018!
2018 was a year when humans everywhere proved that they should just be quiet and let cats run the planet. Well, 2018 is over now. It’s 2019 and hopefully, everyone will try to do better over the upcoming 12 months!
Here’s what we have to look forward to in 2019: The Oscars. The release of Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman. Another Star Wars film. The Cannes Film Festival. Terminator 6. Zombieland Too. Another season of The Walking Dead. It: Chapter Two. Captain Marvel. Avengers: Endgame. Spider-Man: Far From Home and Toy Story 4. Mike Posner’s A Real Good Kid and Outer Peace from Toro y Moi. A lot of original films on Lifetime and a chance to see if SyFy will ever have another franchise as successful as Sharknado. Stephen King will probably release another 900-page novel about Maine. And, of course, so much more!
On top of all that, In 11 more months, this site will be ten years old! Can you believe it!?
So, sit back and enjoy the ride.
2019 has arrived!
From all of us at the Shattered Lens to everyone who will be observing and celebrating the holiday today, Happy Thanksgiving!
When the citizens of Jamestown, Virginia celebrated their first Thanksgiving in 1610, they had no way of knowing what the future would hold for not only America but also the rest of the world. In fact, they had no way of knowing that we would someday have movies, music, television, social media, Netflix, dark web paranoia, and hungry kitten videos on YouTube. If you had told them that the United States would someday have a literacy rate of 77%, they would have laughed at you. If you had told them that, at some point in the future, a black cat would send holiday greetings to humans, they probably would have accused you of practicing witchcraft. Silly pilgrims!
But today is Thanksgiving. It’s not only a time for giving thanks but also a time for appreciating not only what you love but also what loves you. Be kind to your family, your friends, your cats, and even your dogs. As for those of us at the Shattered Lens, we are thankful to you for reading and commenting. The flame-haired one tells me that, in another month, we will be coming up on the 9th anniversary of the founding of this site! We’re thankful for those 9 years and even more thankful for the years to come!
Thank you for reading and Happy Thanksgiving!
What is Labor Day and why do humans celebrate it?
Is it so unusual to work that human need a holiday to remind them to do it? Cats don’t need a special day to remind them to do their duty. A cat wakes up everyday knowing what needs to be doing and preparing to do it. A cat knows that importance of exploring its territory. A cat knows the importance of keeping a strict schedule. Also a cat knows that it can get away with sleeping on the job. In fact, sleep is a large part of the job!
The flame-haired one thinks that Labor Day is a “left-wing, communist plot” but I don’t understand what any of those words mean so I just let her ramble on until it’s time to be fed.
Today is Labor Day so sit back, do no work, and make it a great one! If you need something to do on this Labor Day, there are over 11,000 posts on this site, the earliest of which was published all the way back to 2009! Feel free to explore and let us know what you think.
Fear not, the cat will keep an eye on things until you get back…
Happy Friday the 13th from the Shattered Lens!
This is the second Friday the 13th of 2018!
What does that mean?
It means that today is going to be even more unlucky than the previous Friday the 13th! You know what that means! Don’t walk under ladders! Respect black cats, even more than usually do! If you break a mirror, give up all hope! If you’re camping in the woods, listen to crazy old Ralph or Eustace or Earl or whoever the local weirdo may be! No late night naked swimming! No running around in the rain in your underwear! No comments about how life’s too short! No drugs! No sex! No fun of any kind!
I know, I know. We all like to live dangerously but if all of our readers die, who will be around to read the site? Think about it!
Anyway, have a happy and safe Friday the 13th! And remember the human-turned-zombie who made this holiday famous. Today is his birthday…