Happy Friday the 13th from the Shattered Lens!
This is the second Friday the 13th of 2018!
What does that mean?
It means that today is going to be even more unlucky than the previous Friday the 13th! You know what that means! Don’t walk under ladders! Respect black cats, even more than usually do! If you break a mirror, give up all hope! If you’re camping in the woods, listen to crazy old Ralph or Eustace or Earl or whoever the local weirdo may be! No late night naked swimming! No running around in the rain in your underwear! No comments about how life’s too short! No drugs! No sex! No fun of any kind!
I know, I know. We all like to live dangerously but if all of our readers die, who will be around to read the site? Think about it!
Anyway, have a happy and safe Friday the 13th! And remember the human-turned-zombie who made this holiday famous. Today is his birthday…
Attention all humans!
World UFO Day is almost over!
All of the cats and humans at the Shattered Lens — along with our one Martian contributor (just try to guess who he is!) — hope that you have a good and joyous World UFO Day!
We now rejoin our regularly scheduled programming, already in progress…
To My Mother
by Christina Rossetti
To-day’s your natal day;
Sweet flowers I bring:
Mother, accept, I pray
And may you happy live,
And long us bless;
Receiving as you give
(Guess which movie the flame-haired one will be watching later tonight?)
Happy Mother’s Day!
To all of our readers, Happy Friday the 13th from all the cats and humans here at the Shattered Lens!
Why is Friday the 13th considered to be unlucky? It all links back to 13! Some human historians think that the superstition about 13 being unlucky may have started in the Middle Ages, as a result of Judas being the 13th disciple. However, it’s believed that the first references to Friday the 13th being unlucky were made in the 19th Century, specifically in 1869 when the writer Henry Sutherland Edwards wrote a biography of the composer Gioachino Rossini. Rossini died on November 13th, a Friday.
Of course, human conspiracy theorists link Friday the 13th to the Knights Templar, mostly because they blame everything on the Templars! October 13th, 1307 is when Philip IV of France began his persecution of the Templars. That year, October 13th fell on … wait for it … a Friday!
Of course, in Spain and Greece, Tuesday the 13th is considered to be unlucky. And in Italy, it’s Friday the 17th that you have to look out for! Humans sure do have a lot of unlucky days!
Anyway, be safe today and stay out of the woods!
Today, I have very exciting news about something that has been going on behind-the-scenes for a while here at the Shattered Lens. Today, one of my humans — I call her the flame-haired one but you probably call her Lisa Marie — finally convinced Arleigh that it’s time to turn the Shattered Lens into the internet’s number one Twilight fan site!
The flame-haired one has been trying to convince Arleigh to do this since she first joined the site in 2009. Even though no one has really cared or thought about Twilight since 2012, the flame-haired one is convinced that she will be able to once again get everyone in America wondering if they’re “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob.” So, say goodbye to the all of our old reviews and features and get ready for endless polls, memes, and out-of-date gossip about whether Rob and KStew are still as close as Edward and Bella!
Congratulations, Flame-Haired One!
From the humans and the cat here at the Shattered Lens, happy April Fools Day! Please be kind with your jokes and remember that April Fools Day ends at midnight! Any pranks pulled after midnight will no longer funny and will instead just be annoying. Meh.
It’s Oscar Sunday!
For many humans and cats, today is an unofficial holiday! Today is the day that we find out who and what the Academy has selected for the best of last year! We may agree. We may disagree. But a lot of us will be watching!
Happy Oscar Sunday, everyone! Please enjoy today’s Oscar-related posts. Who knows? We might even toss in some non-Oscar related posts as well! You never know!
Happy Valentine’s Day from all the humans and the cat at the Shattered Lens!
Love is all around!