Insomnia File #46: Enter the Ninja (dir by Menahem Golan)

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or Netflix? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

It’s been nearly a year since I did my last Insomnia File. To be honest, as much as I enjoy writing these posts, I feel like the idea behind the Insomnia File format has become obsolete. The days of people dealing with insomnia by randomly flipping through movies and infomercials have pretty much come to an end. Now, if someone has insomnia, they’re more likely to binge an old show on Netflix.

That said, if you had insomnia at one in the morning last night and you didn’t feel like binging The Office for the hundredth time, you could have turned over to TCM and watched the 1981 film, Enter the Ninja.

What would you have gotten out of Enter the Ninja? Five words: France Nero as a ninja. Seriously, what more do you need? Nero plays Cole, a former mercenary who goes off to Japan, trains to become a ninja, and then heads off for the Philippines, where his old mercenary friend, Frank (Alex Courtney), owns a farm. Frank and his wife, Mary-Ann (Susan George) are having problems because evil businessman Charles Venarius (Christopher George, chewing up the scenery as the bad guy) is determined to force them off of their land. Add to that, Frank is a pathetic drunk.

Soon, Cole is putting on his white ninja suit and fighting to protect the farm and also dealing with Venarius’s ninja, who just happens to be an old rival of Cole’s. Cole is also carrying on an affair with Mary-Ann but that’s not big deal because Frank isn’t much of a man. One of the most interesting things about Enter the Ninja is that it may be a martial arts film but it’s also a modern western and a domestic drama. Cole could just as easily be a gunslinger, protecting the homesteaders. Frank and Mary-Ann could just as easily be a couple on a daytime drama. Instead, they’re all in a ninja film.

The main appeal of Enter the Ninja is Franco Nero, an actor who — in his prime — was one of the sexiest men to ever appear in the movies. He spends a good deal of the film with his face covered but the important thing is that you can still see those beautiful blue eyes. As usual, Nero gives a good performance with so-so material. Nero brings his trademark intensity to the role and he does actually seem to care about whether or not his friends lose their farm.

Enter the Ninja was directed by the legendary Menahem Golan, a filmmaker who understood the importance of never letting the action slow down. Enter the Ninja is dumb, over the top, and entertaining. Plus, it’s got Franco Nero! What else do you need at one in the morning?