Two Tails of a City”

Posted on May 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat goes to Hong Kong!

Episodes 7.19 and 7.20 “Hong Kong Cruise: Polly’s Poker Palace/Shop Ahoy/Double Date/The Hong Kong Affair/Two Tails of a City”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on February 4th, 1984)

This week, the Love Boat crew has been assigned to command a cruise to China. And while the boat might be docked in Hong Kong instead of the usual Mexico, the question remains the same:

Yes, how coked up is Julie?

Well, she’s not as coked up as usual. In fact, this is the rare Season 7 episode in which Julie actually gets to do something more than just smile at people as they board the ship. So, I’d say this episode only rates a 7 out of 10 on the How Coked Up Is Julie scale.

As for Julie and Vicki, they fall for two brothers (Leigh McCloskey, Lee Majors II). As always, Julie serves as Vicki’s mentor while Captain Stubing runs the ship. However, this time, it turns out that the guy that Julie likes actually likes Vicki instead. Vicki really likes him too. I would point out that Vicki is likely either 16 or 17 in this episode. (Jill Whelan was 18.) So, really, she and Julie probably shouldn’t both be after the same man. The guy is closer in age to Vicki than Julie but still, watching this episode, I couldn’t help but think that it might be time for Vicki to get off the boat and actually experience life on dry land. Seriously, she’s nearly 18 and she still spends all of her time talking to elderly passengers. Leigh McCloskey and Lee Majors II are literally the only two people close to her age to board the ship. She really doesn’t have much choice but to fall in love with one of them.

Meanwhile, a senator (Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.) fell in love with Donna Reed, despite the misgivings of his closest advisor (Ben Murphy). A retired spy (Gene Kelly) fell for a mysterious woman (Yvette Mimieux) and this somehow led to Gopher and Isaac putting on trench coats and following the couple through Beijing. And Brenda Vaccaro tried to stop using her credit card. The crew, for some reason, tried to help her.

None of these stories were very interesting, though I did relate to Brenda Vaccaro’s passenger. This was a travelogue episode, with the boat sailing to Hong Kong and the crew somehow managing to see every famous sight in China over the course of two days. This episode was shot on location. I always enjoy it when I can tell the actors are actually delivering their lines in the middle of the ocean. At the same time, the scenes that took place in China did not make me want to visit the country. If anything, they left me feeling bad for Hong Kong. This episode was filmed before the British handed Hong Kong over to China and it was a shame to think that all the little kids who appeared in the episode were fated to eventually become citizens of a communist country. Needless to say, the name Mao was never mentioned during this episode. Neither was the Cultural Revolution.

Come back to America, Captain Stubing. The country needs you.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/3/26 — 5/9/26

Posted on May 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hollywood Demons: After the Bell (HBOMax)

The latest episode of Hollywood Demons took a rather superficial look at life behind the scenes at Saved By The Bell. The formerly reclusive Lark Voorhies was interviewed and it was good to see her looking healthy and happy. As well, Max Battimo, from Good Morning Miss Bliss, was also interviewed and talked about what it was like to not be invited to join the cast of Saved By The Bell.

The majority of the episode focused on Dustin Diamond and his years after Saved By The Bell. The episode tried to generate some sympathy for Diamond and I have to admit that I’ve always felt that it wasn’t right to cast him as a high school student when he was barely 12 and had so little in common with the rest of the cast. That said, in this documentary, Dustin Diamond also came across as being mentally unhinged. One crew member told a story about Diamond threatening a Saved By The Bell: The New Class actor with a knife. The name of the actor was not given, though from the details provided (the incident occurred while Diamond’s mother was dying of cancer and Diamond threatened to get the actor fired), it seems that the incident took place in 1996, during the film of the New Class‘s Fourth Season. Assuming Diamond didn’t pull the knife on any of the female cast members or Dennis Haskins, that leaves Richard Lee Jackson, Ben Gould, and Anthony Harrell. Jackson was in his second season on the show and was the lead actor so I don’t think Diamond would have threatened to get him fired. Gould and Harrell were new. On twitter, I found a tweet from 2014 of someone mentioning that they had been given a tour of Hollywood by someone who Dustin Diamond pulled a knife on. Since Harrell has been busy with his musical career, that would leave Gould as the probable target of Diamond’s abuse. Of course, that’s all speculation on my part. The important thing is that Dustin Diamond didn’t come across as being particularly sympathetic, despite the documentary’s best efforts.

Unfortunately, while Lark, Max, and Ed Alonzo were all interviewed, Mark-Paul, Mario, Tiffani, Elizabeth, and Dennis Haskins were not. I’m not surprised. When you’ve actually got a career going, you don’t want to taint it by being interviewed by a tabloid television show. Still, considering that they were the stars of the show, not interviewing them seemed like a missed opportunity.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)

I watched three more episodes of this odd series on Friday night. The monsters were trippy!

Night Flight (NightFlight+)

I watched an episode on Friday night. John Cougar Mellencamp talked about his career.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

My review of Saved By The Bell will be dropping soon, assuming I don’t fall asleep before I can write it.

Watched and Reviewed:

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.18 “Ace in the Hole/Uncle Joey’s Song/Father in the Cradle”

Posted on May 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Love Boat gets a new photographer!

Episode 7.18 “Ace in the Hole/Uncle Joey’s Song/Father in the Cradle”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 28th, 1984)

This episode featured the usual three story structure. One story I was indifferent too. One story kept me entertained. And one story made me cry.

The story made me cry featured Barnard Hughes as Joseph Stobble, a former kids’s show host who has retired because he feels too old for kids to relate to. Isaac grew up watching Uncle Joey and even gives Uncle Joey a replica of Flapjack, the sock puppet that served as Uncle Joey’s sidekick. Uncle Joey meets Scott Russell (David Faustino), a child who has recently lost his father. Uncle Joey helps Scott deal with his emotions by assuring him that it’s okay to cry.

I cried! Hell, I’m crying just typing this up. Now, I should clarify that I have a reason for crying. The end of May will also be the two-year anniversary of the auto accident that eventually led to my father’s passing on August 19th, 2024. To be honest, there hasn’t been a day over the past two weeks that I haven’t cried at some point. When my father died, I threw myself into taking care of my aunt. After my aunt died (and she died exactly one year after my father), I threw myself into trying to make the holidays perfect for my sisters. And, after that, I threw myself into cleaning the house. Looking back, I understand that I kept throwing myself into new activities because I was trying to outrun just how sad I was. It’s only now that it’s finally all hitting me.

Would I have cried over Uncle Joey’s story if I wasn’t currently feeling sad? I think I would have. It was a sweet story featuring good work from Hughes, Faustino, and the always reliable Ted Lange.

As for the indifferent story, it featured Larry (Michael Spound) getting upset when he meets his mother’s (Lee Meriwether) new husband (Dean-Paul Martin). It turns out the son and the stepdad are both the same age! It was kind of boring, to be honest.

Finally, the third story featured Ted McGinley — yay! — as Ashley “Ace” Covington Evans, the new ship’s photographer! Gopher hired him but he soon regrets it when all the women on board fall for Ave instead of Doc and Gopher. However, Ace has a problem. He’s a good photographer but he doesn’t know how to develop film! (My first thought was that surely someone on the ship had to have a laptop and a printer but then I realized that this was apparently before the age of even digital cameras.) The ship’s passengers and Stubing are curious as to why Ace hasn’t put up any of the pictures that he’s taken. Vicki and Julia help out by putting up a bunch of pictures from a past cruise….

(Uhmm, how would that help? I would assume that the passengers would expect to see pictures of themselves.)

Ace comes clean to the Captain and offers to spend three weeks learning how to develop film. “Then we shall see you in three weeks,” a very understanding Stubing replies. (Stubing perhaps knows that Vicki would never forgive him for firing Ace.)

Why did this story work so well? Ted McGinley, that’s why! And now, apparently, Ted’s a new cast member. YAY! The Love Boat is going to be better than ever!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.17 “Aunt Emma, I Love You/Hoopla/The First Romance”

Posted on April 29, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Set sail for adventure, your heart on a new romance….

Episode 7.17 “Aunt Emma, I Love You/Hoopla/The First Romance”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on January 21st, 1984)

This episode is just silly.

Sid Casear and Rose Marie play newlyweds who are on their honeymoon cruise. The only problem is that Rose Marie has brought along a picture of her Aunt Emma, who never approved of Sid Caesar. Aunt Emma always wanted to go on a cruise but having her picture around is seriously cramping Sid Caesar’s style.

Teenage Philip McKeon is expecting to meet his father (Bert Convy) on the boat. Instead, he meets Convy’s secretary (Irena Ferris). Son and secretary fall for each other. The only problem is that the secretary has already fallen for the father! And soon, the father is on the boat as well!

That said, neither one of those stories really matter. This episode’s main focus is on the Harlem Globetrotters, who are taking the cruise to Mexico, where they’re supposed to play an exhibition game. Isaac’s friend (Darrow Igus) is the manager of the Globetrotters and he’s already sold a lot of tickets to the game. Unfortunately, when the stadium is flooded, the game is cancelled. It looks like Igus is going to be broke and fired. Wait a minute — what if the Globetrotters play a game on the boat? And what if the other team is made up of the Love Boat crew!?

Uhmm …. would that really be a workable solution? I mean, imagine that you spent a lot of money to see a basketball game in a stadium. Now, imagine being told that the game will instead take place in a small dining room on a cruise ship and that one of the teams is going to be exclusively made up of middle-aged white people, with the exception of one unathletic teenage girl. I might not demand all of my money back but I would probably ask for at least half of it.

Needless to say, the Globetrotters win the game. The Love Boat band plays a really sad-sounding version of Sweet Georgia Brown. The whole thing is just odd.

As I said, it was a very silly cruise.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/19/26 — 4/25/26

Posted on April 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Boy Band Confidential (HBOMax)

Another week, another special about boy bands. I watched this 3-hour, two-part documentary on Wednesday and Thursday. Joey Fatone was one of the producers so it’s not a surprise that a major theme of the documentary was that Joey Fatone was a pretty cool guy. This show hit all the usual points — hey, there’s Lou Pealman! — without adding much new insight.

Crime Story (Tubi)

My review will drop this upcoming Monday.

Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)

My review will drop tomorrow night.

Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)

I watched two episodes. The first one was about Stephen Collins (yikes!). The second was about Jerry Springer. Now that Jerry is dead and his show is definitely never coming back, all of his producers are trying to cash in by letting you know that they were anti-Jerry the whole time. It all feels a bit self-serving.

Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock)

My review will drop tomorrow.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

Along with this week’s review episode (which will be dropping shortly), I also watched three Patrick Muldoon episodes on Friday. RIP.

Watched and Reviewed:

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.16 “The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It”

Posted on April 22, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the ship is a casino!

Episode 7.16 “The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 14th, 1984)

It’s a gambling cruise!

Of course, it’s all for charity. The Love Boat has been turned into a floating casino but all of the money that the passengers lose will be donated to the Flanders Hospital. Florence Flanders (Celeste Holm) is yet another old friend’s Captain Stubing’s and he’s happy to welcome her aboard. He is less happy to see Florence’s ne’er-do-well brother, Frank (Richard Jaeckel). Frank is in debt to another passenger, Al Dixon (Richard Ponzini). Frank is willing to cheat and steal to get the money to pay off Al. When Stubing calls Frank out on it, Frank threatens to reveal that Florence’s deceased husband had a mistress.

One of the people cheated by Frank is newlywed Nancy Sidon (Leah Ayres), who is upset about the prospect of having to move in with her in-laws. Her husband, Stewart (Shea Farrell), says that it’s perfectly normal to move back in with your parents after you get married. He also doesn’t want Nancy gambling. When Nancy loses all of her money, she fears that she’s going to lose Stewart as well. Fortunately, Frank has a change of heart and returns all of the money that he stole. Not only has Nancy avoided divorce but she now has enough that she and Stewart won’t have to move in with the in-laws.

Meanwhile, Michael Borden (McClean Stevenson) is carrying a very valuable silver dollar with him. When Sally (Jo Ann Pflug) accidentally puts the silver dollar in a slot machine, Michael has a near breakdown. He obsessively pulls on the lever, hoping to win back his silver dollar. Soon, he’s broke. However, Sally puts her final dollar in the slot machine, pulls the lever, and hit the jackpot. Michael wins back his silver dollar and he also finds love. To be honest, Sally could do better.

This was a rather low-key and almost moody episode. The laugh track was notably muted. On the one hand, the show celebrated gambling for charity. On the other hand, nearly everyone’s life was ruined in the casino. Richard Jaeckel gave a good performance as the conflicted Frank. Not giving a good performance was McClean Stevenson, who came across as being so cranky and whiny that I found myself hoping he would never win back his silver dollar.

This cruise did not hit the jackpot for me.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/12/26 — 4/18/26

Posted on April 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Growing Pains (Tubi)

Matthew Perry played the boyfriend of Kirk Cameron’s sister. He drank too much, he crashed his car, and he died. This is one of those very special episodes that one might roll their eyes at, if not for the fact that it guest starred Perry. Because it did guest star Perry, it was very sad to watch.

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)

A review for this episode will be dropping tomorrow.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)

In this show, from Japan, a group of teenagers used the power of the dinosaurs to defeat a witch. I watched three episodes on Saturday. The stop-motion dinosaurs and tigers were cute.

The Right Time (YouTube)

This was a 90s music show that was hosted by singer Tom Jones. I watched two episodes on Friday. The first one was called “Pop Music” and I enjoyed it. The second one was called “Gospel Music” and it was a little dull.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

A review for this episode will be dropping later tonight.

Who’s The Boss (Prime)

On Friday, after Jeff and I finished up The Trip, Amazon took us straight into this Tony Danza-starring sitcom. We watched the first episode, which was pretty forgettable. (Danza is a former baseball player turned housekeeper and no one can believe it.) The theme song kind of got stuck in my head though.

WKRP In Cincinnati (DVD)

Jeff and I watched several episodes of this 70s sitcom over the week. Even if the humor was a bit dated, it was a funny show. Herb Tarlek’s suits were amazing.

Watched and Reviewed:

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.15 “How Do I Love Thee?/No More Alimony/Authoress! Authoress!”

Posted on April 15, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Love Boat takes a dramatic turn.

Episode 7.15 “How Do I Love Thee?/No More Alimony/Authoress! Authoress!”

(Dir by Kim Friedman, originally aired on January 7th, 1984)

As usual, this week’s episode features three stories. Two of them are very silly.

Betty White and Carol Channing play two Broadway veterans who are hoping to interest publisher Cesar Romero in Betty’s autobiography. Cesar is more interested in Carol. Betty and Carol collaborate on a book that is full of sordid lies. Cesar says he’ll publish it because “the hicks in the South” will love it. Carol announces that she is a hick from the South and promptly rips the manuscript in half. Good for her!

Alan Thicke wants his ex-wife, Michelle Phillips, to marry Fred Willard so that he’ll no longer have to pay alimony. However, when Alan discovers that Fred is a womanizer, Alan reconsiders his plans.

These two stories feel very familiar. They’re the type of stories that we’ve seen on many episodes of The Love Boat. They’re saved a bit because of the comedic skills of Fred Willard and Betty White but, in the end, they’re definitely on the silly side of the cruise.

But then you get the third story, which is not silly at all. Laura (Rue McClanahan) boards the ship with her husband, George (Dick Van Patten). Laura is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and he’s alarmed when he sees that Laura has a black eye. Laura says she simply walked into a door. George laughs and says that Laura is a klutz.

Actually, Laura is being abused by her husband. George’s business is failing. George is jealous of Captain Stubing. George hits Laura in their cabin and it’s a shocking moment because 1) this is The Love Boat and 2) it actually looks like that Van Patten may have accidentally hit McClanahan for real. (Van Patten briefly breaks character, looking shocked, before quickly turning back into the angry George.) Stubing realizes what’s happening and confronts George. By the end of the episode, George is promising to “get some help” but it’s significant that Laura doesn’t leave the ship with him. One gets the feeling that she’s heard that promise before.

At first, it seems strange to have such an serious storyline playing out in-between scenes of Carol Channing and Betty White singing and Fred Willard leering at every woman on the boat but it actually works surprisingly well. The show makes an important point. Even on a fun cruise, abuse can happen. Abuse doesn’t take a vacation. And abusers can be the people you least suspect, like perennial nice guy Dick Van Patten. I have a lot of respect for this episode for dealing with a serious subject and doing it well.

This was an important cruise.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/5/26 — 4/11/26

Posted on April 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Diff’rent Strokes (Tubi)

It wasn’t by choice! On Wednesday, I watched a movie on Tubi and then Tubi sent me to an episode of Diff’rent Strokes before I could stop it. Mr. Drummond’s friend, Larry (McClean Stevenson), visited from Oregon. Drummond got Larry a chance to audition for his own talk show. Larry’s daughter (Kim Richards) didn’t want to move and, for some reason, she blamed the whole thing on Gary Coleman.

Fridays (Prime)

This was a comedy sketch show from the early 80s. I watched the premiere episode on Saturday morning. There were a lot of familiar faces in the cast, including a dark-haired Larry David. Unfortunately, none of the skits were really that funny.

The Greatest Event In Television History (Prime)

In this Adult Swim series, Adam Scott recreated the opening credits of classic television shows and destroyed his life in the process. Jeff Probst hosted. Jon Hamm guest-starred and “died” shortly after filming his scenes. (Don’t worry, his ghost later appeared.) Paul Rudd slept with Adam’s wife. Host Jeff Probst said, “Adam’s life is now ruined.” Billy Joel played piano. I watched all four episodes on Tuesday and it was funnier than it had any right to be.

Jesus of Nazareth (Tubi)

On Easter, I binged this seven hour miniseries from 1977. Written by Anthony Burgess and directed by Franco Zeffirelli, this gorgeously produced production took the idea of having an all-star cast quite literally. Even the minor roles were played by familiar faces, everyone from Donald Pleasence to Rod Steiger to Ernest Borgnine to James Earl Jones, Ian McShane, Laurence Olivier, Stacy Keach, Christopher Plummer, and Michael York. Olivia Hussey played the Virgin Mary. Anne Bancroft played the Magdalene. It was very well-done and surprisingly moving.

The Masters (Prime and Paramount+)

I watched a bit of the Masters this week. On Saturday, when it was storming outside and I had just returned from attending a memorial service for an old friend of my father’s, it provided a nice distraction.

Nero Wolfe (A&E)

I watched the final two episodes of Nero Wolfe on Tuesday. It was a truly entertaining show, featuring great work from Maury Chaykin and Timothy Hutton. It’s a shame that it was canceled after only two seasons.

Sledgehammer (Prime)

This was an 80s sitcom, featuring David Rasche as an out-of-control cop. I watched two episodes on Friday and it was actually pretty funny. Rasche talked to his gun and made fun of liberals. I enjoyed it.

I also watched and reviewed:

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.14 “The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike”

Posted on April 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 7.14 “The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike”

(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on December 17th, 1983)

This week, an old high school friend of Julie’s is on the cruise. Whenever anyone from Julie’s past shows up, it means drama. Five years ago, when Jan Maddox (Jeanine Wilson) told her boyfriend, Michael, that she was pregnant, he ran out on her. Jan lied to her father, the rigid Colonel Maddox (Claude Akins), and told him that she and Michael had gotten married. For five years, Jan has been telling her father that she’s married. When Colonel Maddox boards the ship and meets his grandson Richie (R.J. Williams) for the first time, Jan continues to lie. She says that Michael got called away on business.

However, when Jan meets a charming single passenger (Tony Dow) and starts to fall for him, she decides to tell her father the truth.

“My grandson is illegitimate?” Maddox says, in a tone more worthy of 1883 than 1983.

Colonel Maddox says that he never wants to see his daughter or his grandson again. Seriously? Okay, good riddance. Colonel Maddox is a terrible person and Jan seems to be doing fine without him. However, Julie mentions to Maddox that Michael walked out on Jan and now the Colonel is doing the same thing. And then Richie tracks him down and yells, “You’re a mean old man and I hate you!” Colonel Maddox sees the error of his ways and that magically fixes everything. Jan forgives him. Richie forgives him. I would not have forgiven him. Then again, I also wouldn’t have lied about being married in the first place.

While this is going on, Jenny (Didi Conn) boards the ship and spends the cruise harassing her ex-boyfriend (Grant Goodeve) and his new girlfriend (Wendy Schaal). Jenny boards with two signs, each declaring that her ex is a louse. She follows him around the ship, chanting about what a louse he is. When she sees him dancing with his new girlfriend, she grabs a microphone and starts to talk about him to all the other passengers. Jenny probably should have been taken into custody and kicked off the boat at the next port-of-call. Instead, everyone acts as if Jenny’s actions are cute. It’s a weird story.

Finally, a mysterious woman known as the Contessa has disappeared from her cabin. Stubing convinces an old friend, retired detective Manfred Benusse (John Hillerman), to investigate. (I would think that the Captain would be required — by law and company policy — to report a missing passenger as soon as it was discovered that she was missing but whatever.) It turns out that there never was a Contessa. The whole thing was a set up, engineered by Benusse’s secretary, Liliane Pendergrast (Allyn Ann McLerie). Lillian didn’t want Benusse to retire and she thought that, if she gave him an unsolvable case, he would change his mind and I presume spend the rest of his days searching for a non-existent human being. I’m not sure how that would have been a good thing but, once Benusse figures it all out, he falls in love with Ms. Pendergrast. When you consider the fact that he could have easily been fired if Benusse hadn’t figured out what his secretary was doing, the Captain is surprisingly forgiving.

This was a really weird episode but the detective storyline was kind of charming in its nonsensical way. Hillerman did such a good job as the detective that it made up for the fact that the other two stories were kind of annoying. The end result was a pleasant cruise.