The Eric Roberts Collection: The Rebels of PT-218 (dir by Nick Lyon)

Posted on May 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2021 film, The Rebels of PT-218, takes place in 1943.

At the height of World War II, the Allies are on the verge of invading Italy and moving into Europe. General Omar Bradley (played by William Baldwin, who looks like Alec but sounds like Stephen) orders the SS Lawton, a small torpedo boat to help secure the port of Solano. It won’t be easy. The Atlantic Ocean is full of German U-boats and the Lawton is built to move cargo, not fight battles. But the Lawton is still the most powerful boat in the area and General Bradley believes in the abilities of the Lawton’s commander, Lt. William Snow (Eric Roberts).

However, Snow is eager to get into combat and defeat the Germans. In fact, he’s so gung ho to fight that some of Bradley’s assistants feel that Lt. Snow’s judgment can’t be trusted. Commander Barnes (Noah Blake) tells Ensign Kenneth Ford (Geoff Meed) to keep an eye on Snow and do everything he can to keep Lt. Snow on track.

The men of the SS Lawton, meanwhile, just want to man the guns, launch the torpedoes, and stop the Germans. They’re from all over the United States but they’ll be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a war film. Some of them are naive. Some of them are cocky and streetwise. One of them is played by Danny Trejo! Trejo plays Cookie, a former gunner turned cook. He delights in serving chorizos for dinner. Cookie has a mustache and a pony tail, which definitely do not feel like they would be within Navy regulations. After Cookie is wounded in action, a crewman tosses Cookie a machete and Trejo smiles like a man who has waited his entire life for that exact moment.

Historical accuracy? Who needs historical accuracy when you’ve got Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts in the same movie? Obviously, both Roberts and Trejo are a bit too old for their roles. Cookie would have probably retired from the Navy long before the bombing of Pearl Harbor. As for Roberts, one has to worry about any officer who is clearly in his 70s and still hasn’t achieved a rank higher than lieutenant. When Snow expresses his ambition to be promoted, you have to wonder if he’s hoping to be the world’s oldest admiral.

This film is an attempt to do an epic war story on a budget and it doesn’t quite work. One never feels that any of the characters are waking up everyday with the knowledge that this could be the day that they die. The ship and all of the characters are remarkably clean and fresh-faced throughout the film, with none of the grime nor grit that would have given the story a realistic edge. That said, Danny Trejo gets a few good lines and it’s always fun to watch Eric Roberts play an authority figure. In the end, the important thing is that America won.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

The Eric Roberts Collection: The Savant (dir by Sherri Kauk)

Posted on May 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I swear, I will sit through the worst films for the promise of an Eric Roberts cameo.

Roberts is only featured in about two minutes of 2019’s The Savant. According to the credits, he was playing a character named Lonnie. At one point, he called the film’s hero, police officer Nick Tantino (Frank Giglio), and had a nonsensical conversation with him while he was arresting a random person. I’m not really sure who Lonnie was supposed to be and the scene had very little to do with the film’s story. In fact, the scene just randomly occurred. I’m going to guess that the film needed to be padded out and someone said, “Let’s call Eric Roberts and add another name to the cast.”

Eric Roberts is not the only familiar face to show up in the film.

Martin Kove plays a literature professor who is also a sensei. One of his former students, an evil District Attorney named Zane Carroll (played by Eric Etebari), calls him for advice.

Former TV actress Joyce DeWitt plays a detective. Her partner, who tells a lot of bad jokes, is played by comedian and former Howard Stern flunky, Jackie Martling.

Veteran genre actress Julie McCullough plays a judge, who screams at a defense attorney.

Thomas G. Waites, who was one of The Warriors, plays a police chief.

Robert Loggia shows up as Dr. Reno, a psychiatrist who bellows at everyone and who explains how the savant mind works. Of all the “names” in the film, Loggia gets the most screentime. Interestingly enough, Loggia died in 2015 and The Savant was released four years later. I’m not sure when The Savant was actually filmed but considering how messy the film is and how many plot points are brought up and then abandoned and also the fact that the characters often look totally different from scene-to-scene, I’m going to guess shooting went on for a while.

As for the film, it’s about an autistic savant named Anthony (Miguel Jarquin-Moreland) who beats up a bully. Nick, who has been assigned to work as a glorified security guard at Anthony’s high school, takes Anthony under his wing and trains him to be a MMA fighter. It turns out that the secret of communicating with Anthony is to speak to him in Spanish so we get several scenes of Nick calling him a “pendejo” in order to get Anthony to fight. The entire film builds up to a cage match between Anthony and his bully just for Nick to suddenly cancel the match and instead enter the ring to fight Zane, who is not just a district attorney but also the sensei of his own karate school.

Zane is determined to not only defeat Nick in the ring but to also destroy Nick’s career by telling the police about the time that Nick killed two men in Italy. The murders are not in the record because, according to Zane, they happened “before we had international law.” What? Anyway, Zane decides to create a false criminal record for Nick because Zane is jealous over the fact that Nick is falling in love with Anthony’s sister, a defense attorney named Cassy (Suzy Kaye). Zane even sleeps with Nick’s ex-wife to get revenge. Seriously, I love the fact that Zane is both a prosecutor and a sensei. I mean, how does he find the time?

There’s a lot of plot in this movie. None of it really makes sense but it’s hard not be amused at just how incoherent it all is. The film is full of random and seemingly unrelated scenes, like a lengthy sequence where a defense attorney argues that his client, a doctor, was performing euthanasia when he shot three heroin addicts in the head. “Free Dr. Clark!” the courtroom crowd chants. (Of course, Dr. Clark is never again mentioned after this scene. The shouts of “Free Dr. Clark” brought to mind the “Free Hat!” episode of South Park.) The Savant plays out like a fever dream, one that dares you to try to make sense of it all.

Well, good luck with that. I could sit here and spending hours write about all of the film’s plot holes. But what’s important is that this film featured a lot of Robert Loggia yelling and about two minutes of Eric Roberts. Plan accordingly.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Film Review: Aftermath (dir by Jozsef Gallai and Gergö Elekes)

Posted on January 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A woman named Kate (Fruzsina Nagy) drives down a road. We don’t know where she is driving to but we can tell that she’s driving quickly and she’s not in the mood for any delays. It’s the way that someone drives when they’re trying to escape but they’re not sure where they want to go. It’s way you drive when you just want to convince yourself that you can somehow leave everything behind.

We hear what sounds like an accident and suddenly, Kate is waking up in a forest. Her car is nowhere to be seen and Kate has no idea how she came to be in the forest. In fact, she’s not even sure who she was before she woke up. She has no memories of her past life, beyond fleeting visions that don’t always seem to fit together. Eventually, she meets another apparent amnesiac, Bubba (Edward Apeagyei). Bubba wears a locket around his neck and there’s a picture of a woman in the locket but he doesn’t seem to be quite sure who she was.

Bubba and Kate are not alone in the forest. There are other wanderers and then there’s a group of men who appear to be soldiers, wearing crude uniforms and gas masks and carrying machine guns. (The sight of the soldiers, with their crude uniforms, bring to mind the horrific militias that often spring up in the aftermath of a war and attempt to seize power out of the chaos.) Receiving cryptic orders from their leader (Eric Roberts), the soldiers patrol the forest and execute anyone that they come across. Their leader repeatedly tells them that they have to track down and execute everyone because the future of the world depends upon it. Failure is not an option.

Aftermath deals with a very real fear. The idea of suddenly waking up and discovering that you have not only lost your identity but also control over your own fate is at the heart of many horror stories and it’s also a reflection of the way many people feel about living in today’s world. One wrong word, thought, or move and you can find yourself exiled into both a real and metaphorical wilderness. When Kate wakes up with little memory of what the world was like before she ended up in that forest, she’s feeling what a lot of people have felt when they try to remember the world and their lives before the lockdowns of 2020 and all of the political and societal events that followed. We live in a world that seems to change from day to day and, as result, everyone has had that moment when, like Kate, they’ve struggled to understand what’s happening. From the minute that Kate wakes up with the feeling that she has no control over what’s happening to her, she becomes an instantly relatable character. The audience not only wants to know what’s happening to her but they also want her to regain control of her fate. If Kate can regain control, then those watching in the audience can also regain control.

The film’s cinematography emphasizes both the grandeur and the ominous atmosphere of the forest, making it a place that manages to be beautiful and threatening at the same time and the deliberate pace builds up suspense as Kate tries to discover why she is in the forest. Fruzsina Nagy and Edward Apeagyei both give sympathetic and relatable performances as Kate and Bubba and the audience does care what happens to them. Aftermath is both an intriguing thriller and a meditation on life and love.

Aftermath will be released on digital and blu-ray by Bayview Entertainment on January 30th.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Top Gunner: America vs Russia (dir by Christopher Ray)

Posted on January 1, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The latest addition to the quasi-franchise that started with 2020’s Top Gunner, 2023’s Top Gunner: America vs Russia takes place in the near future.

Russia’s war with Ukraine has led to a stalemate. When the United States starts to take a more active role in defending Ukraine and arming the dissidents in Russia, it leads to a coup in Russia. President Vasiliev (Alex Veadow) wants to bring about a new era of peace but, when he’s assassinated, the new president of Russia, the evil Borovsk (Pavel Kuzin), accuses the United States of being behind the murder and declares war on the U.S.A. Soon, Russian jets are invading the airspace of Washington D.C. and blowing up the Washington Monument. (The White House gets hit by a bomb as well but, fortunately, it’s not a very impressive bomb.) Borovsk is such a fanatic that he is even prepared to launch his country’s nuclear arsenal against America. Such an action would, of course, lead to the end of the world.

Fortunately, America is not just going to roll over and accept defeat. (Or, at least, it’s not going to accept defeat in the movies. In the real world, it seems to be a different story.) America has fighter pilots, like Footloose (Andrew Rogers) and Firefly (Kayla Fields), who are dedicated to defending the nation. America has a super-secret new jet than can even fly into deep space so it can fire missiles at a Russian satellite. America has got CIA operatives like Veronica Vachs (Simone Posey) operating in Moscow. America has got a Vice President (Gary Poux) who believes in the country’s destiny. And, perhaps most importantly of all, America has got Eric Roberts.

Eric Roberts also appeared in the first Top Gunner, though he was playing a different character in that film. In Top Gunner, Eric Roberts was a flight instructor. In Top Gunner: America vs Russia, Eric Roberts is …. PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

As President Jeremiah Stewart, Eric Roberts gives orders and refuses to be pushed around and always puts America first. When he hears that Washington D.C. might soon be attacked, he doesn’t show a hint of fear. He doesn’t run off to a bunker. He doesn’t whine about not being popular. He doesn’t desert America’s allies. Seriously, he’s one of the best president that I’ve ever seen and I would certainly vote for Jeremiah Stewart in 2024 before I even considered casting a ballot for any of the other jokers that are running. Just by casting Eric Roberts as the President, Top Gunner: America vs Russia wins the war. When Roberts says that he doesn’t care what the official protocol is, you believe him. I bet when he’s not fighting the Russians, President Stewart is working to repeal the 16th Amendment. (That’s the one about income tax.) Seriously, I want to see this guy on Mt. Rushmore.

Anyway, this is a typical Asylum film. The special effects are cheap but it seems like everyone had fun working on the film and it’s hard not get swept up in the silliness of it all. I mean, at one point, a fighter plane literally flies into space without a bit of concern for stuff like oxygen or heat shields or anything else. It’s so shamelessly absurd that it feels rather churlish to nitpick. Most importantly, it’s a movie about how America kicks ass and, in these troubled times, who can’t appreciate that? I mean, how could we not kick ass with Eric Roberts leading us?

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: Bleach (dir by Michael Edmonds)

Posted on October 30, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2022 film, Bleach, tells the story of Jonah Paxton (Mark Justice).

Born in Nevada, Jonah never knew his mother. He was raised in a trailer by his abusive father (Lorenzo Lamas), a degenerate gambler who molested Jonah and forced him to wear dresses in an attempt to shame him into “being a man.” When the mob threatened to come after Jonah because of his debts, he sold Jonah to his uncle, a drug dealer named Matthew (Eric Roberts).

In the mid-80s, grown-up Jonah has some issues. That’s not surprising. He’s haunted by his past and has hallucinations in which the devil is raping him from behind. (Yikes!) He also has visions of selling his soul to a mysterious woman (Mindy Robinson) who throws money at him. In what might be the real world, Jonah is hired by El Jefe (Robert LaSardo), who explains that he loves horror films but that the whole trope of the final girl upsets him. He gives Jonah a million dollars to film an actual snuff film. He tells Jonah that he wants high production values. He wants to watch Jonah become a monster. Jonah takes the money and films himself murdering two women who picked up at a bar and one woman who unfortunately entered the room at the wrong time.

While El Jefe waits for Jonah to bring him the tape, Jonah finds himself having even more violent hallucinations. He sees demons. He sees the devil. After he crashes his car in the desert, he has a vision of a woman (Tara Reid) who claims to be his mother and who encourages Jonah to commit suicide. While the police investigate Jonah’s crimes, Jonah is haunted by the ghosts of his victims and his already tenuous grip on reality continues to loosen. Soon, Jonah is drinking bleach and trying to purify himself with fire….

Bleach is a mess of a film, one that is occasionally surreal but which is more often just boring. The film’s tone is all over the place and certain scenes are so drawn out that they go from being disturbing to being dull. The moments of dark comedy fail to land but the glimpses inside Jonah’s mind are appropriately twisted and bizarre. By the end of the movie, Jonah’s scarred and blistered body is an undeniably shocking sight. Physically, he’s come to reflect the monster that he truly is. But, in the end, the film is too unevenly paced to be really effective and it ends with a shoot-out that is so clumsily choreographed that it’ll probably lead to more laughs than pathos.

Eric Roberts is memorably sleazy as the faux friendly Matthew. One gets the feeling that both and Lorenzo Lamas were only on set for a day or two but both of them make the most of their screen time. Both of them offer a glimpse into how to make a monster.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

October Positivity: The Mark: Redemption (dir by James Chankin)

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2013’s The Mark: Redemption picks up almost immediately where The Mark left off.

The world is in chaos as millions of people have mysteriously vanished. The economy is collapsing. Crime is out of control. Cities are burning. The G20 Economic Summit is meeting in a surprisingly small conference room in Berlin. The world looks to a mysterious investor named Phillyp Turk (Ivan Kamaras) for leadership. It does this despite the fact that everything about Phillyp — from the way he speaks to the way he looks to the way that he spells his name — would seem to indicate that he’s a crazy supervillain. Was the world not paying attention to all of those comic book movies? Do they not know a cartoonishly evil businessman when they see one?

In Bangkok, Mr. Pike (Gary Daniels) and his men are still searching for Chad (Craig Sheffer) and Dao (Sonia Couling). Chad still has the biometric chip — the Mark of the Beast, as it were — in his bloodstream and Pike is determined to capture Chad and somehow get the chip out. In between thinking about all of their friends and family who have vanished, Chad and Dao try to find the inventor of the chip so that he can hopefully remove it. Along the way, Dao talks about her younger sister, who has disappeared into Bangkok’s underworld but who, in one of those coincidental twists that boggles the imagination, also happens to have been an early test subject for the chip that is currently in Chad’s blood stream!

As for Cooper (Eric Roberts), he’s being held captive by Turner’s men. Just as in the first film, Cooper proves himself to be a clever manipulator. The only difference is that, in the sequel, Cooper finally understands that he was one of the bad guys and he doesn’t feel quite right about that. Cooper finds an ally in Warren (Johann Helf), one of Mr. Pike’s less bloodthirsty associates.

The Mark: Redemption is quite an improvement on the original film. It helps that, in the sequel, the action is opened up as opposed to solely taking place in one claustrophobic location. Mr. Pike and his men chase Chad and Dao all over Bangkok while Turk flies from New York to Berlin and back again. If the first film felt confined, the second film truly does capture the feel of a global catastrophe. As well, Craig Sheffer’s performance here is far more lively than in the first film. In the first film, he seemed as if he had mentally checked out. In the second film, he actually makes some sort of effort to portray the character. Of course, the film is ultimately stolen by Eric Roberts, who seems to be having a blast playing the sardonic Cooper. Roberts keeps the film lively and things are all the better for it.

The Mark: Redemption ends with the promise of a third film but, as far as I know, it was never made.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

October Positivity: The Mark (dir by James Chankin)

Posted on October 27, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2012 film, The Mark, opens with a covert attack by a group of mercenaries on a laboratory. The head scientist, wanting to make sure that his work is not destroyed, injects guard Chad Turner (Craig Sheffer) with a biometric chip. As Cooper (Eric Roberts), the head of security with Avanti Corporation, explains it, Chad is now the most important person in the world. He has been injected with the future, a chip that will replace the need for personal identification or currency. It’s a chip that Cooper claims will bring the world together under one big government.

Hmmm …. a Pureflix film about a biometric chip that will lead to one world government? Can we all guess where this is leading?

With the world economy collapsing and threats of war dominating the headlines, Cooper decides to personally escort Chad to the G20 economic summit in Berlin. Seeing as how everyone wants to get their hands on the chip, Cooper decides that the best plan is to fly to Berlin on a commercial flight. Cooper describes it as hiding in plain sight. I would describe it as being remarkably stupid.

Needless to say, the flight is an eventful one. Cooper enjoys talking to the other passengers. And Chad flirts with a woman who is convinced that the G20 summit is actually a conspiracy of some sort. The co-pilot asks a flight attendant to marry him and she says, “Yes.” Yay! One of the passengers mentions that he’s a minister and offers to marry them right there but the co-pilot explains that they’re not really into all of that religious stuff. Unfortunately, a mercenary named Mr. Pike (Gary Daniels) hijacks the plane and demands the chip, which is currently being absorbed into Chad’s bloodstream.

The film starts out as a Die Hard clone, with Chad sneaking around the plane and taking out the terrorists one-by-one. Cooper rallies the other passengers to fight back. But then there’s a bright flash of light and half of the passengers and one of the pilots vanishes. The clearly shaken minister says:

That’s right, it’s one of those films!

Can Chad and flight attendant Dao (Sonia Couling) figure out how to open up the locked cockpit so that the remaining agnostic pilot can land the plane? And will Chad be able to escape from the plane, despite the fact that Cooper is still intent on taking him to the summit?

Like a lot of PureFlix films, The Mark attempts to deliver its message in the guise of a genre film. Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a bore as an action film, with a slow-moving plot and fight scenes that feel as if they’ve been lifted from countless other films. Craig Sheffer is a bland hero and the terrorists are generic. Not surprisingly, it’s Eric Roberts who steals the film, playing Cooper as being someone who can be a valuable ally but who is also a bit too arrogant for his own good. If I was ever on a hijacked plane, I would definitely want Eric Roberts on my side.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: The Dead Want Women (dir by Charles Band)

Posted on October 20, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2012’s The Dead Want Women opens in 1927.

At her luxurious Hollywood mansion, silent film star Rose Pettigrew (Jean Louise O’Sullivan) is throwing a party to celebrate the release of her new film. While her guests gossip about whether or not the coming of sound is going to end Rose’s career (since Rose’s voice does not fit her sultry image), Rose and three of her friends — cowboy star Sonny (Eric Roberts), scarred leading man Eric Burke (Robert Zachar), and overweight comedian Tubby (Nihilist Gelo) — slip into Rose’s underground dungeon and have an orgy with two flappers. Tubby has just murdered one of the flappers when Rose’s lawyer interrupts the orgy and announces that 1) Rose’s new film is a flop, 2) audiences love the new talkie, 3) the studio will no longer be producing silent films, and 4) Rose no longer has a contract with the studio. The shocked Rose shoots all of her friends and then slits her own throat in front of her horrified guests.

The film then jumps forward to 2012. Two real estate agents, Reese (Jessica Morris) and Danni (Arianna Medix), are getting the long-abandoned mansion ready for a prospecting buyer. They clean the mansion. They find Rose’s old necklace (which fell from her neck when she slit her throat), and they have a bottle of wine. Reese explains who Rose was while Danni says that she hates silent films. That night, the ghosts of Sonny, Eric, Tubby, and one of the flappers suddenly appear, looking to haunt the two real estate agent and ultimately drag them to Hell with all the other tormented spirits of silent Hollywood!

The Dead Want Women attempts to be a campy throwback to the old haunted house films of the 40s and the 50s, just with a lot more gore and nudity. Unfortunately, the film itself is rather slow. The 1927 opening drags on forever and, at one point, I actually groaned when Rose told her weaselly agent to repeat what he had just told her because it literally took five minutes for him to say it beforehand. As a lover of old Hollywood and film history, I appreciated the fact that the film used the coming of sound as the impetus for the haunting and I also liked the fact that the lecherous Tubby was obviously based on Fatty Arbuckle but otherwise, there really wasn’t much to The Dead Want Women. It was a standard Charles Band ghost story, with the emphasis more on boobs than scares.

On the plus side, Eric Roberts was an effectively evil cowboy ghost and some of the rotting flash makeup that was used on the ghosts was properly icky. But otherwise, this is a pretty forgettable film. Sorry, The Dead Want Women. You are not ready for your close-up.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: Clinton Road (dir by Richard Grieco and Steve Stanulis)

Posted on October 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2019’s Clinton Road features what might be my favorite Eric Roberts cameo appearance.

Roberts appears standing outside a club in New Jersey. He’s speaking to the woman who is working the door and trying to convince her that he should be allowed into the club, even though she doesn’t think that he’s on the list. He explains that he’s Eric Roberts. The woman replies that he’s not the Eric Roberts that she knows but then, suddenly, she realizes that he is Eric Roberts the movie star! She apologizes profusely. Eric says its okay and gives her a fist bump. Everyone waiting to get into the club applauds.

Seriously, that is the extent of Eric Roberts’s role in Clinton Road. It comes out of nowhere and it has nothing to do with the actual plot of the film. Why is Eric Roberts waiting outside of some club in New Jersey? Who knows? He’s just there and he’s a cool dude and everyone loves him. As with so many of his cameos, one gets the feeling that Roberts just happened to see some people shooting a movie and he decided to be a part of it.

Eric Roberts is not the only well-known actor to make a brief appearance in Clinton Road. The film itself was directed by actor Richard Grieco and it’s obvious that he asked some of his well-known friends to help out. The manager of the club is played Ice-T and he shows up long enough to tell the urban legend of the vanishing hitchhiker. The owner of the club is Vincent Pastore, who played Pussy on The Sopranos. Private investigator-turned-character actor Bo Dietl shows up, playing the mayor of the town and barking orders at people. Everyone gets a chance to be, at least briefly, the center of attention but none of them play characters who actually have anything to do with the film’s main story.

That story is about Michael (played by former American Idol contestant, Ace Young), a fireman whose wife disappeared while walking down Clinton Road, a haunted rural road in New Jersey. (For the record, Clinton Road is real and, as this film states, it’s the center of many urban legends.) Michael is ready to move on and marry his new girlfriend, Kayla (Lauren LaVera). However, Michael’s former sister-in-law, Isabella (Katie Morrison), convinces Michael to go out to Clinton Road with her and make one last effort to contact his wife’s spirit. Accompanying them is a medium named Begory (James DeBello), Begory’s girlfriend, Gianna (Erin O’Brien), and Michael’s brother, Tyler (former Big Brother houseguest Cody Calafiore). Tyler is loudly skeptical of Begory’s claims to be able to speak to the dead but it soon becomes clear that the group is not alone on Clinton Road.

To my surprise, I ended up liking Clinton Road. It’s a very low-budget film and the plot doesn’t always make sense but it was obviously made by people who both loved New Jersey and who loved the legends that have sprung up around Clinton Road. The atmosphere was ominous, the imagery was often surreal, and, when they did appear, the spirits were effectively creepy. The fact that the characters all had an attitude that was more appropriate to The Sopranos than to a standard lost-in-the-woods horror film only served to make the film all the more entertaining. If you’re going to set your horror film in New Jersey, you might as well go all out and make the most New Jersey horror film imaginable.

I enjoyed this film. I just hope Eric Roberts didn’t make the mistake of turning down Clinton Road on his way home.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

October Positivity: Prayer Never Fails (dir by Wes Miller)

Posted on October 10, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2016 film, Prayer Never Fails, tells the story of Aiden Paul (Nick Lashaway). Having survived a traumatic childhood that was full of abuse, Aiden is now the beloved basketball coach at the local high school. (The fact that he never shaves or gets his hair out of his face does not seem to be a problem as far as this school district is concenred.) When one of his players approaches Aiden and tell him that he’s being abused by his father (Lorenzo Lamas), Aiden suggests that the player pray on it. When the player says that he doesn’t know how to pray (because his father is not just abusive but also a hardcore atheist, of course), Aiden takes him into a classroom and teaches him how.

Unfortunately, another teacher sees Aiden and the player praying and reports Aiden to the principal. Aiden is fired from his position. Though Aiden says that he’s just going to give up and find another job, his players demand that Aiden fight to be reinstated. Aiden decides to take the school to court!

Unfortunately, there aren’t any lawyers that Aiden can afford. (And most lawyers would hopefully be ethical enough tell Aiden that, regardless of his good intentions, he doesn’t have a case.) Finally, a chance meeting at a diner leads to Aiden hiring Michael Brown (Clifton Davis), an agnostic lawyer with a gambling problem. Michael takes the case but he soon finds himself going up against master litigator Joseph T. Harrington (Corbin Bernsen). Can Michael somehow win the case?

This is another one of those Christian courtroom films where no one does anything that makes sense. For instance, it seems like, instead of ducking into an open classroom for a quick prayer, Aiden could have reported that one of his students was being abused by a parent, which is something that, as a teacher, he would have been required to do in the first place. (Instead, that subplot is abandoned after Aiden is fired.) As well, to win the case, all Joseph T. Herrington had to do was 1) point out that Aiden had admitted to leading a prayer in school and 2) call to the stand a Constitutional law expert to explain the establishment clause. Instead, Herrington puts the entire concept of prayer on trial and tries to argue that praying doesn’t work. It’s an argument based purely on emotion and bias, which allows Michael to make a counter-argument that’s based purely on emotion and bias. At one point, Michael interrogates the school’s principal as to why he was willing to defend a transgender teacher but not Aiden’s right to pray. The correct answer, of course, is that whether or not another teacher is transgender has nothing to do with Aiden’s case and that the Supreme Court has ruled that prayer is not allowed in public schools. That’s really all anyone needed to say to any of Michael’s arguments but no one does because, if they did, it would be a very short film.

(Along with the dubious legal arguments, this film annoyed me because Aiden didn’t ever bother to shave or comb his hair before the trail began. I mean, seriously, did someone tell him that it was a good strategy to go to court looking like you spend the previous week sleeping in the back of a pickup truck? I would not want him coaching my school’s basketball team.)

On the plus side, Eric Roberts is in this movie. He plays the judge and goes through the film with a bemused smile on his face, as if even he can’t believe the legal arguments that he’s hearing. It’s always nice to see Eric Roberts picking up a paycheck.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed: