Book Review: Hollywood Rat Race by Ed Wood, Jr.

Are you a teenager in the late 50s or the early 60s?

Are you planning on running off to Hollywood to become a star?

Do you need someone to tell you what to expect once you find yourself on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams?

Hollywood’s most successful director — the one and only Ed Wood, Jr. — is here to help!

Okay, maybe I’m going a little bit overboard with the hyperbole here.  Though Ed Wood is today best known for being played by Johnny Depp in a Tim Burton film, he was not just a movie character!  Nor was just a filmmaker!  Ed Wood was also an author.  When Wood didn’t have the money to make a movie, he would write a book.  In fact, it’s speculated that Wood actually made more money writing books than he did making movies.

Unfortunately, the majority of these books have been lost to time.  The ones that survive are generally either sex manuals or pulpy novels about hitmen who love to wear angora.  However, Hollywood Rat Race was Wood’s attempt to write, in the first person, about the industry and the city that he both loved and hated.  Hollywood Rat Race is Wood’s warts-and-all look at the film industry.  It’s his guide for how to make it in Hollywood.

What is Wood’s advice?

Be physically attractive.  Do whatever the director tells you to do.  Don’t be shocked when an executive chases you around a desk.  Sleep your way to the top if you have to but just be aware that no one will respect you once you get old.  Wood presents Hollywood as being a cold and unfeeling place but, at the same time, he also describe working in movies and television as the greatest career that anyone could hope for.  Wood will often start a chapter on a cautionary note but his enthusiasm for Hollywood always wins out in the end.  Reading the book, you realize that Wood loved the business too much to reject it, even if it did often reject him.

Hollywood Rat Race is not, despite what is claimed on the book’s back cover, a memoir.  Not really.  Yes, Wood does mention that he was friends with Bela Lugosi.  And he does talk about how Tom Tyler came out of retirement to appear in Plan 9 From Outer Space.  He mentions thar another member of his stock company didn’t complain about being attacked by an octopus in Bride of the Monster.  But those looking for juicy behind-the-scenes stories will be disappointed.  Instead, the book gives the impression that every experience Wood ever had with an actor or a film was a positive one.  Rather touchingly, it’s kind of easy to see Hollywood Rat Race as representing the Hollywood that Ed Wood dreamed of, as opposed to the Hollywood where Wood eventually went broke and drank himself to death.

Hollywood Rat Race was not published in Wood’s lifetime.  He wrote it shortly after the release of Plan 9 but the book was not published until after Tim Burton’s film reignited interest in Wood in 1994.  It’s a good book for all of he Wood completists out there.

And, before anyone asks, yes — he does recommend wearing an angora sweater to your next audition.

Book Reviews: Nightmare Store and Horror Hotel by Hilary Milton

You are trapped in a department store overnight!  Can you survive even while being pursued by ghosts, monsters, and killer mannequins?


You are trapped in a hotel!  No one else seems to be around!  Can you survive even while being pursued by ghosts, monsters, and a crazy doctor with a scalpel?

It all depends on which one of these two books you read!

These are two books that I ordered off of Amazon two years ago and they’re both enjoyable reads.  They’re choose your own adventure-style books, where you get trapped in a location overnight and you have to try to survive while various monsters and ghosts try to kill you.  Every few pages, you’re given an option for what you want to happen next in the story.  What’s interesting is that, instead of it being the usual “If you run got page 75” sort of thing, it’s instead more like, “If you hear a noise, go to page 33.  If you see something out of the corner of your eye, go to page 28.”  So, to an extent, you get to decide how your scary story plays out.  These books were written for children, of course but both of them still get surprisingly grisly and intense at time.

Of the two, I preferred Horror Hotel.  The hotel was just a more interesting locations than the store and there was a lot more variety to the options and storylines in Horror Hotel.  I mean, yes, it’s obvious that Horror Hotel is basically just The Shining for kids but so what?  It had some scary moments!  It also had some scary pictures to go along with the text.  I wonder how many children in the 80s were traumatized by that picture of a scaly hand reaching out from underneath the bed and grabbing your ankle?  Or how about the picture of the crazy-haired scientist running at you with a scalpel in his hand?  AGCK!

Anyway, these are fun books.  They can orered off of Amazon and and they’re an enjoyable way to kill a little time in between hauntings.

Horror Book Review: Save The Last Dance For Me by Judi Miller

The 1981 novel, Save The Last Dance For Me, is another book that I found in my aunt’s paperback collection.  I have to admit that I got really excited when I found it.  This is a book that I had wanted to read ever since I came across the cover in Paperbacks From Hell.

Jennifer is blonde, beautiful, young, and ambitious.  She’s a driven dancer who is totally obsessed with becoming a soloist for one of New York’s best dance companies.  She’s got an older boyfriend, of course.  He’s a podiatrist who hopes that Jennifer will abandon her dreams and marry him.  Jennifer, however, is not so eager to settle down for a boring domestic life.

Max is a pianist who was raised by a narcissistic alcoholic who continually pressured her young son to learn ballet.  Neither Max nor his mother may have had much of a career as a dancer but that hasn’t stopped him from dreaming and obsessing.  Max has a basement and a bathroom that is full of ballet slippers.


No, sorry.  (I know, I know.  I use that joke a lot but what can I say?  It amuses me.)  Instead, they have a drunken sexual tryst after Jennifer has an argument with her boyfriend and this leads to Jennifer not only getting locked in the basement but also being forced to eat a totally disgusting hamburger!  (EEEEEK!)  Max demands that Jennifer learn a terrible solo and he demands that she practice and practice it until she collapses.  It turns out to all be an elaborate revenge scheme, with a hint of Phantom of the Opera tossed in.  (It’s perhaps not a coincidence that Judi Miller also wrote a book called Phantom of the Soap Opera.)

There’s actually quite a bit going on in Save The Last Dance For Me.  This is a very plot-heavy book.  It’s full of bitchy and duplicitous characters, all of whom have their own agendas.  It also turn out that Max has been killing ballerinas for years.  The two detectives who are investigating the murders have to deal with a lot of pervy suspects, all of whom have their own fetishes when it comes to dancers.  As someone who grew up dancing, I can tell you that, in its hyper and melodramatic way, this book gets a lot of things right.

Anyway, not surprisingly, I really loved this book.  This was one of the most wonderfully trashy books that I’ve ever read, full of twists and subplots and red herrings and even a memorably overdone sex scene.  Basically, imagine the most melodramatic and sordid Lifetime movie ever but in book form.  In fact, I’m actually kind of surprised that Lifetime hasn’t ever made a movie out of this book.  I mean, if they can turn V.C. Andrews novel into an “event,” why not Save The Last Dance For Me?  Get on it, Lifetime!

Horror Book Review: The Stranger Return by Michael R. Perry

On January 24th, 1989, Ted Bundy — then America’s most notorious serial killer — was executed by the state of Florida.  Before he died, he confessed to all of his crimes and then gave an interview where he blamed it all on an addiction to pornography.  It was all a part of a scheme to avoid the electric chair but it didn’t work and he was put to death while thousands stood outside the prison and cheered.

Or was he?

The 1992 novel, The Stranger Returns, suggests that Bundy — who was once as notorious for his ability to escape custody as for his murderous rampage — escaped one last time.  A duplicate was sent to the electric chair while Bundy made his escape.  I know that probably made no sense when you read it in this review.  It really doesn’t make much sense in the book either.  But I guess things had to start somewhere.

Now believed to be dead, Bundy is free to change his identity, romance a young mother, and once again resume his murderous ways.  Only one man suspects that Bundy may have cheated the executioner, the father of one of his victims.  While he tries to get someone to listen to his theory about Bundy being alive, Bundy continues to move across the landscape like a dark shadow of death.

Earlier this year, it seemed like the entire nation briefly went Bundy crazy.  There was a documentary on Netflix.  Zac Efron starred in a movie.  It seem like almost every true crime show around did at least one episode on Bundy this year.  30 years after his execution, Ted Bundy was trending on twitter, a macabre testament to the power of celebrity.

I found myself thinking about Bundy’s morbid fame as I read The Stranger Returns.  The book was well-written and it was a quick read but it was still a bit troublesome that the book was essentially a novel starring Ted Bundy.  Too often, the book treated him like some sort of Hannibal Lecter-type character whereas Bundy was actually, by most accounts, an impotent drunk who was never as handsome, charming, or intelligent as he is frequently made out to be.  What is this power that a loser like Bundy holds over the popular imagination?

The Stranger Returns is a testament to that power.  I mean, how many other real-life serial killers have starred in a novel?  That’s usually an honor reserved for vampire hunters like Abraham Lincoln.  To be honest, I probably would have liked this book better if it had been about someone who thought he was Ted Bundy as opposed to being Ted Bundy himself.  In fact, I probably would have enjoyed the book if it had featured Bundy’s ghost or if Bundy had used some other supernatural check to come back to life.  But making Bundy into some sort of criminal genius was just a bit too icky for me.

Incidentally, I found this book in my aunt’s paperback collection.  According to her, she found the book being sold in the “true crime” section of Half-Price Books.  Fortunately, it’s not true crime.  Ted Bundy is dead and good riddance.

Book Reviews: Haunted Dallas and Haunted Fort Worth by Rita Cook

If you’re planning to go ghost hunting in the DFW metropelx, Haunted Dallas and Haunted Fort Worth (both of which were written by Rita Cook and published in 2011) are two good guides for your hunt.  Both books list various locations in both cities that are reputed to be haunted, some of which — like the Hotel Adolphus — I had heard about it and some of which — basically any location in Fort Worth — were new to me.

One thing that I really appreciated about these books is that both Dallas and Forth Worth got their own separate volume.  Far too often, people — especially people who come down here from up North — tends to assume that Dallas and Ft. Worth are just one big city.  They are two very separate cities, each with their own unique history and feel.  If Dallas is Texas as imagined by Andy Warhol, Ft. Worth is Texas as imagined by John Ford.  Not surprisingly, Dallas seems to be haunted by the wealthy while Ft. Worth is haunted by rough and tumble outlaws.

Admittedly, neither book goes into as much details as one might hope.  Instead, they give the basics of each legend and/or haunting and then they allow your imagination to do the rest of the work.  But, if you’re just starting your search for Texas ghosts, these books are good place to begin!

(For the record, I don’t believe in ghosts but I do think it’s fun to search.)

Book Review: Shadow of Evil by Greye La Spina

Direct from my aunt’s paperback collection, it’s the story of Portia Differdale and her aunt Sophie!

The time is the 1920s.  Sophie has come to Brooklyn, in order to live with the recently widowed Portia.  Portia, unfortunately, is having some issues with her neighbors.  Portia’s late husband was an occultist and, now that he’s died (more or less a victim of his profession), she’s decided to continue on his work.  Needless to say, the local gossips aren’t particularly happy about that.  Personally, I would love to live next door to an occultist, just because I would always some place to send any spirits who showed up in my house.  “Really, you’re undead?” I would say, “Head on next door.”  Sadly, I guess that’s just not the ways things were done in Brooklyn back in the day.

Anyway, Portia is lucky enough to have a potential new suitor.  His name is Owen and Sophie thinks that he would be the perfect new husband for Portia!  Portia, for her part, agrees.  However, it turns out that someone else has her eyes on Owen, as well.  Princess Irma Andreyevna Tchernova is wealthy, beautiful, and charming.  The uninhibited and flirtatious Princess Tchernova soon appears to have all the men in the community under her spell, including Owen!  None of them seem to find it odd that the Princess has an oddly silent servant or that she owns several wolves.  Not even the fact that the Princess eats nothing but meat strikes anyone as odd….

Except, of course, for Portia.  It doesn’t take long for Portia to figure out that there’s something sinister about the Princess but will she be able to save Owen from her grasp?  Read the book to find out!

Greye La Spina was born in 1880 and stared writing horror fiction in the early 20th century, at a time when it was considered somewhat scandalous for a woman to even write fiction, much less horror.  Shadow of Evil was originally published over the course of three issues of Weird Tales in 1925.  It was then reprinted, in paperback form, in 1966.  The cover at the top of this post (and which my sister shared earlier this month) is from the 1966 edition.  Since that time, the book has been occasionally reprinted.

It’s a fun read.  La Spina was a lively and entertaining writer and she tells this tale with the right mix of melodrama and satire.  La Spina obviously loves her unconventional characters and the story is as much about their desire to be independent from the conventions of society as it is about any paranormal activity.  It’s got everything — intrigue, romance,humor, scares, thrills, and a wonderful atmosphere.  It’s an enjoyable story and, if you can track down a copy, one that’s worth reading.

Halloween Book Review: The Twilight Zone Companion by Marc Scott Zicree

Up until a few years ago, every episode of the original Twilight Zone was available on YouTube.

That always made me really happy in October because, really, what better way to end each day of the Halloween month than by watching a classic episode of The Twilight Zone, right?  To Serve Man, The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street, It’s A Good Life, that episode with William Shatner freaking out on the plane and that other one with the guy entering his bedroom only to discover a lion waiting to eat him, these were all great episodes to watch in October!

Sadly, once Hulu started carrying Twilight Zone, all of the old episodes got yanked off of YouTube.  And now that the Twilight Zone is on Netflix, there’s no way the show will ever show up YouTube again.  We can still watch the episodes, of course.  Even if you don’t have Netflix for some reason, SyFy does regular marathons of the original show and, of course, there’s the Jordan Peele revival for those who watch old episodes of the Twilight Zone and say to themselves, “This is good but I just wish it was a little more heavy-handed.”

Well, I may not be able to embed any episodes this October but I can recommend that you order Marc Scott Zicree’s The Twilight Zone Companion, which is an indispensable guide to the original show.  Every episode is covered, with credits, plot synopsis, and anecdotes about the production.  Since a lot of important directors, actors, and writers did at least a little bit of work on Twilight Zone, the anecdotes are all very interesting and very much worth reading.  Even more importantly, Zicree takes a look at the life of Twilight Zone creator Rod Serling and also some of the key people involved behind the scenes.  The tragic story of Charles Beaumont will move you to tears.

So, if you’re a fan of the original show, you need this book!  Order it and enjoy!