(Lisa is not only watching horror films this month! She is also busy trying to clean out her DVR. She has got over 170 movies recorded and waiting to be watched. Can she view all of them by January 1st? Keep checking here to find out! Lisa recorded Give Me My Baby off of the Lifetime Movie Network on May 13th!)
“Layla, are you okay? Where is Dad going?”
That right there is the type of melodramatic and over the top dialogue that runs through every minute of Give Me My Baby, which is quite possibly one of the funniest films that I’ve ever seen on the Lifetime Movie Network.
Give Me My Baby tells the story of Layla (Kelly Sullivan), who spends her days creating new scents for perfume and who has a lot to deal with. For instance, she’s just entered into a partnership with a self-centered reality TV star named Shannon (Brooke Hogan). Shannon wants to sell a perfume called Scorched but Layla talks her into calling it Sizzle instead. Her second husband, Nate (Gabriel Hogan), is a former pro golfer who blew out his knee when he fell out of a golf cart and who still occasionally struggles to maintain his sobriety. Her stepdaughter, Allison (Laura Hand), has just dropped out of college and has moved back into her old room. However, the majority of Layla’s stress has to do with her desire to have a baby, despite the fact that, as Allison puts it, “You guys are old.”
Fortunately, Layla and Nate are clients of one of the best fertility doctors around. Dr. Hartlin (Sofia Milos) may not be cheap (and the film’s script makes a very specific point of saying that her treatment is not covered by insurance) but she seems to sincerely care about her patients. In fact, she might care too much. When Layla goes shopping, she just happens to run into Dr. Hartlin. When Nate is giving golf lessons, Dr. Hartlin just happens to show up. When Layla wonders why she’s so emotional and temperamental when she isn’t even pregnant yet, Dr. Hartlin tells her that it’s nothing to worry about. But one day, Nate arrives home and Layla not only smells the scent of booze on his breath. She also smells the scent of Dr. Hartlin on all of Nate’s clothes…
It turns out that, long ago, Dr. Hartlin used to know Nate. In fact, she and Nate even had a date or two. Nate is shocked to discover that Dr. Hartlin is the same girl that he used to know as “Cee Cee.” Dr. Hartlin explains she had a good deal of plastic surgery after a car accident, the same accident that caused her to have a miscarriage many years ago…
“I’m not going to hurt you. I just want my baby.”
“It’s my baby.”
“No, it’s my baby.”
“BACK OFF OR THERE WON’T BE ANY BABY!”
*Layla points a knife at her own stomach*
That’s just another example of the dialogue in Give Me My Baby. Seriously, this is one of the most batshit insane films that I’ve ever seen on Lifetime. I wouldn’t necessarily call it good but it’s so crazy that you’ll never forget it. Sofia Milos goes so over the top as Dr. Hartlin that there’s a chance she might never return to Earth.
That said, my favorite character was Allison. As played by Laura Hand, Allison had a sarcastic attitude about everything. Even when she was being helpful and trying to protect her stepmother, she still came across like she was annoyed about having to make the effort. I totally saw myself in Allison. Someone needs to give Allison a show of her own.