Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.2 “All Work No Play”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, the Gang gets a summer job!  Why would anyone want to work during the summer?  What a bunch of losers.

Episode 2.2 “All Work And No Play”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 10th, 1994)

It’s summer time!  (During its second season, Saved By The Bell: The New Class aired two episodes each Saturday morning.  One episode would be a high school episode while the other would feature the Gang off-campus.)  Mr. Belding has been hired to manage the Palisade Hills Country Club.  The first mistake that Belding makes is that he hires Screech to be his assistant.  Then he allows Screech to hire Brian, Bobby, Tommy, Rachel, Megan, and Lindsay as his staff.

Thinks quickly go downhill.

  1. While trying to show-off for Rachel, Brian attempts to drive a golf cart with his feet.  (“This is how I steered snowmobile in Switzerland,” Brian says.)
  2. Assigned to wash and wax the car belonging to club owner Ed Harrington (Frank Bonner), Tommy D and Lindsay instead take the car for a joyride, which leads to Brian denting it with the golf cart.
  3. The car has a dent and the paint job is scuffed. Tommy works out the dent and then repaints the car with Rachel’s nail polish.  To help the polish dry, Tommy and Brian remove the car’s front panel, take it to the country’s club’s kitchen. and unplug the freezer so that they can instead plug in a huge fan.
  4. Whoops!  They forget to plug the freezer back in and $4,000 worth of food goes bad.
  5. Bobby can’t drive but still tries to cover valet parking.
  6. Screech is too busy falling in love with Ed’s daughter, Allison (Clare Slastrom), to be of any help.

Mr. Belding does the right thing and fires all of them.  But then the Gang decides to throw a Luau for the club’s members (instead of the county and western barbecue that was originally planned) and it’s such a hit that Belding hires them back.

Seriously, what the Hell?  Yes, the Gang saved the day but they only had to save it because they were so grotesquely immature and irresponsible in the first place.  This was one of the worst recurring plotlines to appear on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.  Someone would get a new job, they would totally screw it up, they would get fired, and then they would get rehired just because they felt bad after the fact.  Personally, I think that if you steal a car, destroy a golf cart, and cause $4,000 worth of meat to go bad, you should be fired.  I don’t care if you then put on a hula skirt and play a ukulele and and put on a little Hawaiian performance on a sweltering day in the middle of the desert.  You’re fired.

GO HOME!

This episode annoyed the Hell out of me.  I can accept a lot from this show but what I can’t accept is a plot where every complication could have been avoided by everyone not being a massive dumbass.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.19 “Silent Partner”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the California Highway Patrol is thoroughly incompetent.

Episode 5.19 “Silent Partner”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on February 28th, 1982)

This is one of those episodes of CHiPs where two “comedic” car thieves are stealing cars and it takes three high-speed, accident-filled chases before the Highway Patrol finally manages to catch them.  Episodes like this are always fairly odd to watch.  I’m not really sure if the show’s producers really understood what they were implying with an episode in which a bunch of professional law enforcers can’t seem to catch two buffoons who have no idea what they’re doing.

The first chase leads to an accident that leaves Grossman injured.  He doesn’t break his neck but he does have to wear a neck brace, which temporarily keeps him from talking and eating.  Those are Grossman’s favorite activities!  These car thieves must be stopped!

(Seriously, Grossman was usually the most entertaining thing about this show.  Taking away his ability to speak was not a good idea.  Needless to say, Ponch can still talk.)

Meanwhile, Baker arrests a man at the scene of Grossman’s accident.  Baker thinks that the man (Saul Brandt) must be drunk, just because the man did not react to Grossman’s sirens and he also doesn’t follow any of Baker’s orders.  Uh-oh, it turns out that man was deaf and now he wants to file a complaint against Baker!  And really, the man is totally justified in doing so.  Baker was pretty rough when he tossed him around and Baker really had no evidence that the man had been drinking.  Despite being totally in the wrong, Baker is still upset about being written up.  Luckily, Ponch starts dating a deaf social worker (Dawn Jeffory) and she helps the man to understand that Baker just made a mistake and he was only in a bad mood because he has to work with Ponch.  The complaint is dropped.

This episode featured two good car crashes and a lot of bad acting.  It was well-intentioned but I am starting to wonder if maybe the people of California deserved a better highway patrol.

 

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.3 “Shadow Dancer”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Torello’s war on Luca continues!

Episode 1.3 “Shadow Dancer”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on September 26th, 1986)

With the frequency killer now dead, Torello and his men are once again free to focus on trying to bust Ray Luca. The sooner they do it, the better. For one thing, Torello is becoming so obsessed that, even though his wife is pregnant, Torello’s dreams are still dominated by Luca taunting him. Also, Luca’s latest robbery has resulted in a death. Vincent Noonan (Michael Kemmerling), a former cellmate of Frank Holman’s (Ted Levine,) lost it during their latest home invasion and beat to death Mrs. Novak (Nancy Sheeber).

(Noonan, it turns out, has a history of losing control. It probably wasn’t a good idea to hire him in the first place but, with Luca no refusing to personally take part in robberies, the crew had to find a third man and quickly. Holman recommended Noonan because of how loyal Noonan was to him in prison)

Eager to solve the case and take down Luca, the Major Case Unit starts to put pressure on Luca’s boss, Phil Bartoli (Jon Polito). After his weekly craps game is broken up by Danny Krychek, Bartoli tells Luca that he has to do something to get the police to back off. Bartoli orders him to turn Noonan over to the police. Luca, who no longer handles dirty work himself, tells Holman to take care of it. Holman sends Noonan on a job and then tips off Torello. Despite Danny telling him that Noonan would die before turning into a rat, Torello is convinced that, if he takes Noonan alive, he’ll be able to get Noonan to give up Luca. (What Torello doesn’t realize is that Noonan has never actually met Luca. To quote Willy Cicci, “The family had lots of buffers.”)

It’s all for naught, though. Torello and the cops chase Noonan all over the streets of Chicago and, in the end, Noonan dies while trying to escape. Much like Homicide’s Luther Mahoney, Luca appears to be untouchable …. for now.

This episode worked best as a character study. After last week’s somewhat over-the-top villain, this episode reminded us that Luca and Torello are two tightly-wound men who struggle with emotion. Beyond his own self-absorption, Luca lacks the emotions necessary to truly understand his fellow humans. Torello, meanwhile, gets too emotional. Whether he’s pursuing Ray Luca or snapping at a condescending salesman, Torello is a self-styled crusader who appears to be going slowly but surely insane. This wasn’t a particularly complex episode but it felt important. It was a reminder of what this show is all about.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.16 “Message In A Bottle”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, we have a very special episode of everyone’s favorite Canadian show.  Degrassi goes there!

Episode 2.16 “Message In A Bottle”

(Dir by Bruce McDonald, originally aired on August 1st, 2003)

The school’s basketball team is finally doing well and Jimmy decides to throw a party at his apartment to celebrate.  (As usual, Jimmy’s parents are out of town.)  Paige is having a spa weekend so she doesn’t come.  Ellie is too busy pretending to be Marco’s girlfriend to come.  J.T. and Toby?  Forget it.  This is so not their scene that they’re not even in this episode!

Ashley come to the party with Terri.  If nothing else, this reminds us that Terri is still a character on the show and she hasn’t suffered any school-ending brain damage at the hands of Rick Murray …. not yet, at least.  Jimmy is excited to Ashley.  However, romance will have to wait because Sean shows up drunk and accidentally breaks a liquor bottle.  Jimmy throws a fit.  That’s not a surprise.  Jimmy’s always upset about something.

For that matter, so is Sean.  Sean, however, has more reasons to be upset than Jimmy.  His parents are drunks.  His older brother, Tracker, cannot hold down a job, despite having a supercool name like Tracker.  In this episode, Emma tells Spike and Snake that Sean will be joining them for dinner without bothering to ask Sean beforehand.  Sean actually handles the first part of the dinner fairly well.  But then, during the second half of the dinner, he sneaks some alcohol and becomes convinced that Spike is talking down to him.  Myself, I’m more concerned about the fact that they ate a sushi dinner despite the fact that Spike is pregnant.

Emma comes to Jimmy’s party, looking for Sean after Sean storms out of dinner.  Emma assumes that it’s all her mom’s fault but Sean admits that he’s been drinking and he overreacted.  Sean is stunned when Emma calls her mom for a ride home.  Sean can’t imagine living with a parent who isn’t abusive.  That’s actually really, really sad.  Daniel Clark always did a great job as Sean and that’s certainly the case here.  Clark elevates this episode above being a typical anti-drinking episode.  I appreciated that the episode didn’t judge Sean and that it didn’t lecture him.  It’s as if the show understood that Sean felt bad enough without having every other character go off on him.  At least during the early seasons, that’s one thing that set Degrassi apart from other high school shows.

The episode ends with forgiveness, which was sweet.  Sean thinks Emma is going to dump him.  Emma tells him that everyone makes mistakes.  And that’s true!  This was a good episode.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 5.9 “Control”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

Pembleton’s back!

Episode 5.9 “Control”

(Dir by Jean de Segonzac, originally aired on December 6th, 1996)

A drug dealer named Reggie Copeland has been murdered and word on the street is that the killing was set up by Junior Bunk (Mekhi Phifer), who just happens to be the nephew of drug lord Luther Mahoney (Erik Todd Dellums).  When Lewis and Detective Stivers (Toni Lewis) arrest Junior, he immediately starts crying.

That certainly makes Lewis happy.  He’s obsessed with taking down Mahoney.  Junior gives the detectives the name of the man who he hired, on Luther’s behalf, to assassinate Copeland.  Munch and Lewis take a trip to the worst city on Earth (Philadelphia, if you had to ask) and arrest the gunman.  Even Ed Danvers thinks that they’re finally on the verge of nailing Luther….

Luther, it turns out, has got friends everywhere.  Even while sitting in a holding cell, he is able to find out the name of the hotel where the police are hiding Junior.  When the cops order room service, Junior makes sure that a baggie with two gold stars is included in Junior’s sandwich.  (All of Luther’s heroin comes in baggies with two stars.)  Junior realizes that Luther knows exactly where he is.  Junior refuses to testify and recants his previous confession.  And Luther … Luther goes free again!

Kellerman would be upset, except for the fact that he’s still under suspension.  (They’re really dragging this story out, aren’t they?)  Kellerman is in such a bad mood that he even kicks Brodie off of his house boat for being too happy.  However, at the end of the episode, Dr. Cox shows up at Kellerman’s houseboat.  I’m going to guess that she’ll be allowed to stay on the boat.

However, the main event of this episode is that Pembleton is working his first case since his stroke.  A woman has been found dead in her home, stabbed twenty times.  Meanwhile, her two young sons were both shot execution style.  Bayliss may be the primary but Pembleton is determined to take charge.  Pembleton thinks that the murderer was the woman’s boyfriend, a sleazy musician named Jimmy Sutter (Andrew DeAngelo).  Bayliss thinks that the murderer was the woman’s rigid ex-husbad, Lt. Commander Alex Clifton (Michael Gaston).

From the start, it’s pretty obvious that Clifton’s the murderer.  He’s too cold and unemotional when he is told about the murderers.  He’s very tightly wound.  The fact that the woman was killed in a fury but her children were killed “cleanly and efficiently,” (as Pembleton put it) indicated to me that the murderer was driven by rage against the mother but, in his twisted way, he felt he was sparing the children an even worse fate.  Clifton is obviously the killer and Pembleton, to his credit, eventually comes to realize it.

Unfortunately, the case nearly falls apart in the Box.  Pembleton and Bayliss have lost their rhythm as partners.  Bayliss gets frustrated when Pembleton suddenly starts asking Clifton about the blood pressure medicine he takes.  “Do you get any side effects?” Pembleton asks.  Outside of the interrogation room, Bayliss admits that he’s scared Pembleton is going to “stroke out” and die.  “Everyone dies!” Pembleton says.

Finally, Bayliss and Pembleton make it work.  They turn up the heart in the Box and when Clifton takes off his jacket and very carefully folds it, Bayliss presumes to sit down on the jacket.  Clifton keeps taking the jacket back and refolding it.  Bayliss spills water on the jacket.  Clifton finally loses it, yelling and admitting that he killed his ex-wife and his two sons.

Wow, this was a good episode.  Michael Gaston give a chillingly believable performance as Clifton.  Erik Todd Dellums was, as usual, magnetically evil as Luther.  Best of all, it was good to see Kyle Secor and Andre Braugher working a case together.  Pembleton is back and it’s about time!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.2 “Zack’s War”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Zack goes to war!  Actually, now that I think about it, he really doesn’t.  This title makes no sense.

Episode 2.2 “Zack’s War”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 15th, 1990)

Bayside High School is now home to a Cadet Corps program.  Led by Lt. Chet Adams (Cylk Cozart), the Cadet Corps appears to be the same thing as the ROTC but it’s called the Cadet Corps and despite all of the attention that it receives here, it’s never mentioned again after this episode.

Slater’s dad is in the army so he can’t wait to join the Cadet Corps.  Zack jokes about never joining the Cadet Corps so Belding gives him 30 Saturday detentions …. unless, Zack joins the Cadet Corps and talks all of his friends into joining.  Soon, Zack, Slater, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, Screech, Butch, and Louise are all members of the Cadet Corps.  That’s …. 8 people.  Wow, that’s a really weak turn-out.  Zack has a lot more friends than that!  Seriously, if only 8 people show up to one of my watch parties, I usually end up depressed for a week.

Anyway, you may notice some new names there.  Louise is the unathletic belle of the school nerds.  Butch is an apparently sociopathic bully who doesn’t want Screech talking to his girlfriend.  For this episode, I guess we’re just supposed to forget that Screech has always, in the past, been in love with Lisa.

The second day of Cadet Corps, Lt. Adams announces that it’s time for an athletic competition.  He allows Zack to pick the teams.  Zack puts Screech, Lisa, and Louise on one team.  The other team is made up of Butch, Kelly, and Jessie.  Zack says Slater can lead the team with Screech, Lisa, and Louise.  Lt. Adams says, “Nope,” and he puts Zack in charge of the unathletic team.

Zack gets mad at quits the Corps.  Luckily, Screech visits Zack and shames him.  (Zack should consider himself lucky that Screech didn’t pull a knife.)  Zack rejoins the Corps and leads his team to victory, somehow!

That’s the short version of this dumb episode.  This is another one of those weird episodes where an authority figure — in this case, Lt. Adams — tells Zack that, if he wins an arbitrary competition, he’ll be allowed to skip class for the rest of the year.  Zack wins the competition but, when Adams says he won’t be seeing Zack anymore, Zack replies, “Why?  Are you quitting?”  No, Zack, you prick — you’re quitting!  Except Zack doesn’t quit for some reason.  He’s proud to be in the Cadet Corps.

Needless to say, the Cadet Corps are never mentioned again.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.3 “The One That Got Away”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, you can do anything in a montage!

Episode 2.3 “The One That Got Away”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on September 30th, 1991)

After Megan (Vanessa Angel), a lifeguard who we’ve never seen before, is attacked by a maniac (Rick Dean), she has to conquer her fears of being attacked again so that she can lure him out of hiding so that he can be arrested.

Meanwhile, Shauni is burned out on being a lifeguard so she and Eddie spend a weekend just enjoying the beach and presumably ignoring anyone who might be drowning.

This is pretty much the epitome of a syndicated episode of Baywatch and it’s interesting to see that the formula was pretty much determined and locked in even this early into the show’s syndicated run.  There’s a serious storyline about a maniac attacking women on the beach but the cameraman spends as much time leering at Vanesa Angel as the man stalking her.  Shauni is tired of doing her job and instead of telling her to find a new job, it’s suggested that she just spend a weekend looking at the sunset with her boyfriend.

But the most important thing is that, regardless of the beach maniac and Shauni’s depression, there’s plenty of time for endless musical montages.  That’s what this episode is really all about.  Shauni gets a frustration montage.  She gets a happy montage.  Lifeguard Harvey gets an acting like a jackass montage.  Each montage takes up about five minutes of screentime so that probably definitely helped when it came to writing the script for this episode.

David Hasselhoff, oddly enough, is barely in this episode.  It’s only the second episode of the show’s syndicated run and the Hoff was already taking the week off?  I guess you can do that when you’re syndicated.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.12 “It’s My Party And You’ll Die If I Want You To”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

Guess who is making trouble …. again.

Episode 2.12 “It’s My Party And You’ll Die If I Want You To”

(Dir by Tom DeSimone, originally aired on December 24th, 1989)

This aired when?

Wow!  Happy Christmas Eve!

Freddy takes center stage in this week’s episode.  First, he possesses a phony psychic (Gwen Banta) and uses her to kill a bunch of people because …. well, why not?  He’s Freddy.  It’s kind of what he does.  The second story features Freddy seeking revenge on the woman who stood him up for prom and it features an occasionally clever subplot about a man attempting to write a film about Freddy’s life.  Freddy complains that the script doesn’t have a heart.  That’s because Freddy ripped it out of the screenwriter.

This was not a bad episode.  Director Tom DeSimone does a good job of keeping the action moving and he allows Freddy to be genuinely menacing.  This entire season has pretty much been a reminder of the fact that Freddy isn’t just an undead spirit who makes joke  He’s also very scary.  If the first season treated Freddy like a quip machine, the second season has gone out of its way to show that Freddy is pure evil and you’re better off not being in his presence.

This week’s stories were tied together by the presence of Oliver Michaels (Richard Speight), a spacey young man who previously appeared in Photo Finish.  Oliver does his best to warn people in this episode but no one’s willing to listen until it’s too late.

That’s life in Springwood.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.19 “Red White Black And Blue”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

St. Elsewhere gets political!

Episode 3.19 “Red White Black and Blue”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on February 13th, 1985)

This week, on St. Elsewhere!

  • The First Lady is coming to Boston!  Though she’s going to be visiting Boston General, St. Eligius has been designated as a backup hospital.  While she’s in the area, the Emergency Room will be closed to everyone but her.  As well, some members of the hospital staff have been flagged as security risks — including Dr. Craig!
  • Dr. Craig is not happy about that but eventually, he’s cleared.  It turns out that his wife was the security risk because she once defended the Black Panther Party.
  • Betty White plays Captain Gloria Neal, a doctor who is on the First Lady’s security team.  She is an old friend of Dr. Westphall’s.  At first, it seems like she and Westphall might pursue a romance but it doesn’t happen.  I’m going to guess this is because Gloria realized that Dr. Westphall is the most depressing man on the planet.
  • When a severely injured man is rushed to St. Eligius, Neal refuses to open the Emergency Room.  So, Dr. Craig takes it upon himself to overrule her.  The man dies on the table.
  • Dr. Jacqueline Wade (Sagan Lewis) follows Captain Neal around, complaining about the president’s policies.  In fact, the entire hospital seems to be full of Democrats!  Wow, this President sure must have been unpopular.  Let’s see who it is …. hey, Ronald Reagan!  Three months before this episode aired, Reagan was reelected with 58% of the vote.  He carried 49 states, including Massachusetts.  Apparently, everyone who voted for Walter Mondale worked at the same hospital.
  • Mrs. Hufnagle is back at the hospital.  She is having heart problems.  Dr. Westphall glumly tells the doctors that they have been neglecting her because of her terrible personality.  However, not even Westphall can handle talking to her.  He passes the case over to Dr. Craig.
  • Fiscus has dinner with Shirley Daniels, who says that she hopes she goes to prison for shooting Dr. White.  The next day, Shirley is admitted to the hospital with appendicitis.
  • Victor Ehrlich wrong believes that a child has been abused by his mother.  He gets social services involved.  Later, Westphall sighs with regret and tells Victor that he did the wrong thing.  Westphall is being kind of a prick here.  Legally, if Ehrlich thinks that there’s been abuse, he’s required to report it.  Westphall seems to be upset that Ehrlich can’t read minds.
  • Finally, chronic homewrecker Nurse Rosenthal has to spend the day at the hospital so her lover, Richard, spends the day with her annoying children.  Well, I guess he certainly wasn’t going to spend it with his wife.  I will never understand why this show felt it was necessary to spend so much time with this particular family.  They were all annoying, every single one of them.

This episode opened with a homeless man using an American flag as a blanket and then went on to feature a man selling American flags getting attacked.  That’s about as subtle as things got.  It’s interesting that the show previously established Dr. Craig as being a Republican but apparently, with this episode, viewers were expected to believe that he was not a fan of Ronald Reagan’s.

In other words, this was not a great episode.  This felt like the medical equivalent of one of those Law & Order episodes where all of the salt of the Earth cops start talking about how they never miss Morning Joe.  

Finally, I feel bad for Mrs. Hufnagle,  Even annoying people deserve good medical treatment!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 1.4 “A Long Way From L.A.”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This episode makes the mistake of pretending to leave California.

Episode 1.4 “A Long Way From L.A.”

(Dir by Arnold Laven, originally aired on October 26th, 1984)

Bleh.  This episode annoyed me.

Wally Wallerstein (Paul Eiding), a pickpocket wanted in Los Angeles, is arrested in Texas.  Because he needs a break from them, Captain Cain sends Hunter and McCall to retrieve him.  Wally turns out to be a nice guy but, when Hunter’s car breaks down in Wilson County, Texas, Wally is accused of attacking a local waitress and is then killed by a sniper.  The real culprit is pretty obviously Sheriff Jake Cutter (Bo Svenson), who is the stepson of Chuck Easterland (Morgan Woodward), the richest man in town.

Not a single small town stereotype went unused in this episode.  As a Texan, I was annoyed by the fact that everyone had a Southern (as opposed to a Southwestern) accent.  And while I understand that the show probably didn’t have the budget or the time to shoot on location, it was still hard not to smirk at the sight of a very California mountain range in the background.  This is the flatlands, folks.  We don’t have mountains like that in Texas.

Hunter and McCall need to stay in Los Angeles.