Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.13 “Now Sit Right Back And You’ll Hear A Tale”

Posted on August 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Eddie suffers a serious injury.

A quick note, before we begin: this episode was actually the 16th episode to air during the second season but apparently, it was originally meant to be the 13th episode and, in reruns, it usually airs after the Reunion episode. I’ve decided to go with the production order for the purpose of these reviews. Of course, it really doesn’t matter because it’s not like Baywatch had any use for continuity to begin with.

Episode 2.13 “Now Sit Right Back and You’ll Hear a Tale”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on February 24th, 1992)

After rescuing a jet skier who ran out of fuel in the middle of the ocean, Eddie and Shauni discover a previously unchartered island. (Or, at least, that’s what we’re told. The beach that Eddie and Shauni explore is obviously the same beach from last week’s Reunion episode.) On the beach, they find Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Mary Ann (Dawn Wells), who have been stranded on the island ever since the 60s. Eddie and Shauni take them back to civilization.

Captain Thorpe is so impressed with Gilligan and Mary Ann’s story that he decides that he’s going to start his own media company and produce a miniseries about their life on the Island. He also thinks that it would be a good idea to go back to the island and rescue the other castaways. (Gee, you think?) He arranges for a three-hour expedition to the island. Garner will serve as the skipper. Eddie will be the first mate. Harvey is coming along as a professor, for some reason. Shauni wants to star in the miniseries so she decides to dress up like a movie star and come on the tour as well.

Uh-oh, there’s a storm! Everyone ends up washed up on the island. Eddie finds himself torn between Mary Ann and Shauni but then he realizes that Gilligan is the one who truly loves Mary Ann….

No, I’m not making this up. Stop it, I swear I’m not.

Eventually, Eddie wakes up in Baywatch Headquarters. It turns out that he slipped and hit his head earlier and the entire episode has been a dream. (Shocker!) It sound like Eddie probably has a severe concussion but no one seems to be too concerned about that.

Hasselhoff appears for a few minutes at the start and the end of the episode. Apparently, he knew better than to board the boat.

Oh God, this episode. Well, actually, this episode makes sense once you learn that Douglas Schwartz (who both directed this week and also served as executive producer of the show) was the nephew of Sherwood Schwartz, the producer of Gilligan’s Island. It’s a silly episode but Baywatch is a silly show so that’s to be expected. The episode’s main mistake is that it opens with Eddie watching an episode of Gilligan’s Island and then it shows us Eddie slipping and hitting his head. As a result, we pretty much know the whole episode is a dream from the start and we spend the entire episode waiting for Eddie to wake up. It’s kind of boring.

Next week …. oh, who knows? I’m sure it’ll be something involving a lot of slow motion running on the beach.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.12 “Reunion”

Posted on July 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mitch goes to his high school reunion!

Episode 2.12 “Reunion”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on January 27th, 1992)

Mitch gets laid.

That’s pretty much the plot of this incredibly simple episode.

It’s time for Mitch’s 20-year high school reunion but he doesn’t want to go because he’s worried about seeing his ex-wife, Gayle (Wendie Malick). However, at the last moment, Mitch suddenly does decide to go. He meets up with Gayle, who is wearing a blue dress that is simply to die for. With Gayle’s help, Mitch also rescues the class bully (Tim Rossovich) after two former high school outcasts (Tom Villard and Glenn Morshower) bury him in the sand just as the tide starts to come in. And then Mitch and Gayle go back to the Buchanan house and do it like it’s prom night.

Fortunately, Hobie is gone for the weekend. (It’s kind of funny how Hobie is always off with relatives or friends whenever Mitch needs the house to himself.) I will say that, as a child of divorce, there’s nothing more painful than thinking your parents are going to get back together just because one of them was still in the house when you woke up in the morning. Hobie is spared the trauma of Mitch and Gaye’s post-reunion hook-up.

Mitch, however, is disappointed to learn that Gayle has a boyfriend and that she’s going to be marrying him. The only reason Gayle went to the reunion was to work out her feelings about Mitch. Hasselhoff handles the revelation with his trademark emotional earnestness. Left unmentioned is the fact that having sex with Mitch apparently convinced Gayle that she should marry the other guy.

Finally, someone left a baby in Eddie’s lifeguard station. Eddie and Shauni looked after it for the weekend. This led to a lot of, “Wow, sometimes babies smell bad,” humor. In the end, the baby’s father shows up to get the baby but it turns out that he doesn’t actually have custody and that his ex-wife left the baby at the lifeguard station specifically to keep her safe from him. Obviously, this couple has issues that will not be resolved by a high school reunion hook-up.

Even by the standards of Baywatch, this was a remarkably empty episode. Between Mitch quickly getting over the fact that Gayle is getting remarried and Eddie and Shauni taking care of a random baby, it was hard to escape the feeling that nothing really matters on this show. There are no real consequences to anyone’s actions. No one has any sort of emotional conflict that can’t be solved with a musical montage. Eddie and Shauni end the episode thinking about what it would like to be parents. They’ll be over it in a week.

Baywatch was a show where nothing really mattered and that’s probably why it was so popular.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.11 “If Looks Could Kill”

Posted on July 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mitch is in trouble.

Episode 2.11 “If Looks Could Kill”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 25th, 1991)

Mitch rescues Allison (Shannon Tweed) after her car crashes into the ocean. Mitch quickly falls in love and Allison seems to fall for Mitch. What Mitch doesn’t know is that Allison is actually a murderer and that she’s just using him to try to find the money that was in her car when it crashed. For once, Eddie is the one who suspects the truth and who has to keep Mitch from being killed by someone who he trusts.

Baywatch occasionally did crime-related episodes and they always felt out of place. This episode opens with Allison drowning her latest lover and it’s actually a rather disturbing sequence. It’s effective but it doesn’t feel right for a show in which the main appeal is the fact that everything is lightweight and easy-going.

I imagine David Hasselhoff enjoyed episodes like this, if just because nearly every episode during the first season of Baywatch Nights was exactly like this one.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.10 “The Trophy, Part Two”

Posted on July 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Baywatch concludes the two storylines that began in the previous episode. Will Mitch get over his guilt? Will Eddie be able to keep his job? Who will star in this week’s slow motion monologue? These are the important questions that come with saving lives for a living.

Episode 2.10 “The Trophy, Part Two”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 18th, 1991)

The beach is in chaos!

Bitter over being in a wheelchair and also being single, Turner continues to take dangerous risks. At one point, he decides to go hang-gliding to prove that not being able to walk doesn’t have to keep anyone from flying. At another point, we get one of those priceless Baywatch montages where Turner imagines himself being able run down the beach.

Mitch still feels guilty over Turner’s condition but eventually, even Mitch has to kneel down beside the guy and say that enough is enough. And really, that’s all it takes. Turner accepts that his ex, Megan, is now dating a hunky marine biologist named Ross and he moves on. Megan was played by Vanessa Angel and, according to the imdb, this was her final appearance on Baywatch. This was also Daniel Quinn’s final appearance as Turner. So I guess that storyline’s now over. Mitch still seemed to be feeling pretty guilty but he’ll have to learn how to deal with that on his own because Eric Turner is out of here!

(Quinn would go on to play two other characters on Baywatch and he also had a role in the Baywatch spin-off, Pacific Blue. I guess someone in the head office really liked him.)

Meanwhile, Eddie is bitter because, after being arrested for statutory rape, he’s been suspended from being a lifeguard. Well, Eddie, that’s life. That’s pretty much what would happen to any lifeguard in those circumstances. Eddie spends a lot of time on this show demanding to be treated like everyone else and then getting angry when it happens.

When Eddie’s accuser, Caroline (played by a young A.J, Langer), attempts to commit suicide by jumping off the pier, Shauni is there to rescue her. Having been rescued from drowning, Caroline confesses that she made up the story about Eddie because she wanted to impress her friends on the beach. Eddie is reinstated and Caroline says that she’s going to return home to Pennsylvania and get some psychiatric help.

This episode was pretty anti-climatic. For all the dramatic potential of Mitch’s guilt, Caroline’s accusations, and Eddie’s bitterness, both stories pretty much just ended with the sources of all the drama agreeing to live somewhere other than California. If only life was always that simple!

In the end, this episode was typical Baywatch. Yes, there was some drama. But the most important thing was always getting the next montage.

Retro Televison Review: Baywatch 2.9 “The Trophy: Part One”

Posted on June 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Eddie in trouble!

Episode 2.9 “The Trophy: Part 1”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 11th, 1991)

Awkward teenager Caroline Larkin (A.J. Langer) doesn’t have any friends because her family’s poor and she’s from Ohio. The only person on the beach who shows her any kindess is Eddie the lifeguard. When Caroline tries to impress the rich girls on the beach by claiming to have been seduced by Eddie, the main mean girl makes sure that Caroline’s father finds out. Eddie is shocked when he’s arrested and charged with statuatory rape …. despite the fact the fact that almost the same thing happened to Craig during the first season of the show.

What makes thing particularly awkward is that Eddie is arrested just as he and Shauni are getting ready to go to a chairty gala. Shauni finally got Eddie into a tux and then Eddie gets the handcuffs slapped on.

Meanwhile, parapalegic lifeguard Eric Turner (Daniel Quinn) returns. He’s still in love with Megan (Vanessa Angel), the Australian lifeguard. But he’s also bitter about having to use a wheelchair. This is one of those stories that would be compelling if we had the slightest idea who Turner and Megan were before this episode aired. This is also one of those episodes where totally new people show up and everyone acts as if they were there from the start of the series. (In all fairness, Megan has appeared on the show before but her role has never been particularly large.) Everyone else know who Eric Turner but we, the viewers, have never heard of him before.

Anyway, this is a two-part episode so neither storyline is resolved. Since I’m taking next week off for America’s 250th birthday celebration, Eddie’s going to have to wait in jail for a while. However, two weeks from now, we’ll see if Eddie can clear his name!

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.8 “Thin Or Die”

Posted on June 20, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mitch rescues a dog and Shauni and Eddie rescue an outsider.

Episode 2.8 “Thin or Die”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 4th, 1991)

Mitch rescues an adorable dog that is swimming in the middle of the ocean! Awwww!

The dog is so cute! But Mitch has a date that night and the dog seems to be determined to ruin it. Can Mitch adopt the dog? Actually, didn’t Mitch already adopt a dog? Didn’t almost this exact same thing happen during the first season? Seriously, whatever happened to the first dog!?

Fortunately, the dog helps Mitch track down its owner. It turns out that she’s being held hostage on her own boat. This, of course, allows for a minor action sequence. One thing that I always find interesting about Baywatch is that the lifeguards were apparently also cops. Garner Ellerbee may have been actual badge-carrying cop but he still didn’t do anything without asking a lifeguard to accompany him.

While Mitch is dealing with the dog situation, Eddie and Shauni are having relationship issues. When Shauni claims that she and Eddie don’t have anything in common, Eddie decides to ask out Nicole, the woman who works at his message service. (Apparently, message services were an early 90s thing.) Eddie has never met Nicole. He just knows that he digs her sultry voice and apparently, he’s sick of Shauni always yelling at him. Hey, remember when Eddie and Shauni got engaged? The show just kind of forgot about that.

Nicole (Melinda Reimer) shows up on the beach and she’s fat! I don’t include the exclamation mark to be cruel. I include it because that’s how the show presents her weight issue. Not only is Eddie kind of cheating on Shauni but he’s also doing it with a fat girl! Feeling insecure on the beach, Nicole later tries to walk into the ocean. Can Eddie and Shauni help her realize that she shouldn’t give up hope? Of course, they can! That said, it’s pretty safe to say that Nicole will never show up on another episode of Baywatch. You do have to feel a bit sorry for actress Melinda Reimer, who gives about as good a performance as anyone could with a Baywatch script. That said, the show definitely makes clear that the main lesson is that you should never judge anyone solely by their voice. Because they might be fat.

This episode was basically two half-baked stories mashed together. Yes, there was the hostage situation. And there was Nicole’s weight problem. But despite all of that, there really wasn’t any drama. Everything played out a low-key, laid-back pace. This was an episode that understood the assignment: Come up with just enough of a story to justify your existence but mostly just feature hot people on the beach.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.7 “Sandcastles”

Posted on June 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s Eddie vs Hector the Collector!

Episode 2.7 “Sandcastles”

(Dir by Monte Markham, originally aired on October 28th, 1991)

Eddie is freaking out because there’s too many homeless people on the beach. As he explains it to Shauni, he’s always feared that he could end up homeless. When Shauni suggests that maybe the homeless could live on a deserted army base, Eddie says that people like that are never willing to accept help. Eddie is really not a fan of the homeless!

Of course, in Eddie’s defense, he does get stabbed in the shoulder by a homeless man at the start of this episode. Hector the Collector (Ron Howard George) not only breaks into Eddie’s lifeguard tower but he also tries to steal a framed photograph of Shauni. When Eddie tries to stop him, Hector plunges a shard of glass into Eddie’s shoulder!

Hobie, meanwhile, is having a far better experience with the homeless. He meets Charlie (played by a young Nikki Cox), who is living in an abandoned power plant with her mother (Wendy Robie, who played the one-eyed Nadine on Twin Peaks). When Charlie’s mother disappears, Hobie helps Charlie look for her. When Hector the Collector steals Charlie’s journal, the entire Baywatch crew is there to help her get it back. Fortunately, Mitch is also there to save Charlie when she gets shoved into the ocean by Hector.

WOW! What is Hector’s problem!?

“Mine! Mine!” Hector hisses whenever anyone tries to take back any of the stuff that he’s stolen.

Calm down, Hector!

Meanwhile, Harvey needs a new place to live. Harvey? Oh yeah, he’s the new goofy lifeguard. He can’t sleep in his tower. He can’t live with Mitch. However, Harvey finds a big house with a pool and immediately imagines hundreds of swimsuit-clad women beckoning him to swim with him. This episode has two musical montages, one involving the homeless and one involving Harvey and a bunch of imaginary women. I’m getting the feeling that Baywatch really wasn’t that concerned with the problem of homelessness in Los Angeles.

Baywatch was (and, since it’s been revived for the upcoming television season, is) a very odd show. This episode deals with a very real social problem and David Hasselhoff is so earnest in the scenes that he shares with Nikki Cox that you can’t help but feel that maybe the Hoff’s heart was in the right place. But the show itself always seems more concerned with getting to the next beach shot. Watching this episode, you can hear the producers whispering, “Don’t worry, we’re not going to spend too much time with these homeless people….”

Anyway, the important thing is that everything works out for the best. Harvey moves in with some flight attendants. Charlie is reunited with her mother. And Hector the Collector gets the help he needs. Don’t you worry, Baywatch will be always there.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.6 “Point Attack”

Posted on May 30, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Eddie tries to change a young man’s life.

Episode 2.6 “Point Attack”

(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on October 21st, 1991)

Cort returns!

When the syndicated version of Baywatch first aired, John D. Cort (John Allen Nelson) was among the first season cast members who were no longer on the beach. His absence was not addressed. With this episode, we learn that he’s been in either South America, Kuwait, or Asia. No one’s sure. To me, it sounds like Cort’s a drug smugler.

Anyway, Cort shows up on the beach, just in time to help Eddie break up a gang fight! Eddie, remembering his own tough past in Philadelphia, arranges for the gang members to become a part of W.A.T.A.R., a lifeguard-run program for troubled youths. This the second episode of Baywatch’s second season to feature a gang subplot. It’s hard not to notice that whenever anyone who isn’t white shows up on this show, they’re always portrayed as being 1) poor and 2) affiliated with a gang.

Eddie hopes that he can convince gang leader Memo (Richard Coca) to change his ways. Unfortunately, Memo’s father (Danny Trejo) wants his son to follow in his footsteps as a gang member.

When told that Memo is facing jail, his father says that’s no big deal and adds, “I did time!”

“So did I,” Eddie replies.

Eddie — do you really want to challenge Danny Trejo on the subject of prison?

On the one hand, it’s always good to see Danny Trejo and there’s a definite authenticity to his performance that the rest of this episode lacks. At the same time, having Trejo around makes it all the more clear just how miscast Billy Warlock was a former juvenile delinquent-turned-lifeguard. Watching this episode, I could buy Billy Warlock as someone who could save me if I was drowning. (Thanks, Billy!) But seeing him a graduate of the hard streets of Philadelphia? That was a step too far.

As for the rest of this episode, Cort is far less of a rogue in this episode and he even helps out with the W.A.T.A.R. program. (If anything John Allen Nelson seems to get all the lines that would usually have gone to David Hasselhoff, who is barely in this episode.) When Eddie catches Memo trying to steal from the locker room, there’s a chase scene that goes on for so long that I was literally wondering if Eddie and Memo were eventually going to end up back at Baywatch Headquarters. I’m all for a good action scene but this chase went on for so long that it verged on parody and left me wondering if maybe the show’s director realized, at the last minute, that the episode needed padding.

Unfortunately, Danny Trejo and David Hasselhoff don’t share any scenes in this episode. As mentioned earlier, the Hoff is barely in it! That seems like a missed opportunity to me.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”

Posted on May 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we meet Mitch’s brother.

Episode 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on October 14th, 1991)

Mitch’s brother, Buzz (Tim Thomerson), shows up with his 12 year-old son, Kyle (Chance Michael Corbitt)! Mitch is reunited with Buzz and they both realize that they’re two old beach bums who are not getting any younger. That’s especially true in the case of Buzz. The show makes it clear that Buzz is Mitch’s older brother but we’re still left wondering just how much older. With his gray hair and his weathered features, Tim Thomerson looks like he’s nearly 70 while Hasselhoff appears to be in his late 30s.

And that’s pretty much it.

Okay, in all fairness to the show, there is a bit more of a plot than just Buzz showing up but none of it adds up to much. Mitch’s girlfriend, reporter Kaye Morgan (Pamela Bach), is pressured by her father to kill a story about a dangerous pier. Kyle has a bad attitude and has an accident while surfing at that pier. Luckily, the lifeguards are able to save him. Eduardo (Buzz Belmondo) sells bikinis on the beach but — ha ha — the bikinis dissolve when soaked in salt water. Eddie and Shauni have to help a lot of suddenly naked people get out of the water. “We’re in syndication!” the show loudly announces. Meanwhile, I’m left to wonder why you would buy a bikini from a stranger with a pencil-thin mustache.

For the most part, though, this was a montage episode. The plot was secondary to the music playing behind slickly edited montages of Buzz and Mitch bonding. Buzz and Kyle leave town at the end of the episode but, given how close Buzz and Mitch are, I’m sure that Buzz will return frequently in the future.

(Buzz will never be seen again.)

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.4 “Money, Honey”

Posted on May 16, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week is pretty pointless.

Episosde 2.4 “Money, Honey”

(Dir by Monte Markham, originally aired on October 7th, 1991)

When Mitch and Eddie are hired to serve as lifeguards at a Hollywood party, film producer Dita (Leslie Easterbrook) is impressed when she sees Mitch respond to a boating accident. She decides to make Mitch into a movie star. Everyone knows that Mitch can swim and run in slow motion but can he deliver scripted lines? Dita doesn’t care. She just wants to sleep with him. That goes against Mitch’s ethics so his film career ends before it even begins. Meanwhile, Shauni puts together a benefit to protect a sea lion habitat. At first, it looks like Shauni won’t be able to raise the money but then Mitch donates his movie paycheck to the cause.

This was a montage episode of Baywatch. There really wasn’t much of a plot but there certainly were a lot of montages. Watch as Mitch nervously sits in the makeup chair. Watch as a bunch of bikini-clad beachgoers gather for Shauni’s benefit. Listen to the music. Watch the images. Don’t worry about a thing….

In short, this was a pretty pointless episode. That said, the sea lions were cute and the scene where Captain Thorpe tried to teach Mitch how to audition did make me smile. It’s interesting that it took only four episodes for the syndicated version of Baywatch to fall into the pattern that would definite it for the next ten years.