David Glasser – Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the hospital becomes a very sad place.

Episode 4.8 “Watch the Skies”

(Dir by Bethany Rooney, originally aired on November 27, 1985)

Mr. Zapata (Frank Ramirez) comes to the ER complaining of stomach pains. He tells Dr. Fiscus that he doesn’t have time for an examination. He just needs something for the pain so he can go back to his job on the loading docks. Fiscus calls in Dr. Westphall, the most depressing man on the planet, for a consult. When Zapata faints, Westphall diagnoses him as suffering from malnutrition. Zapata is an immigrant from El Salvador, and all of his money goes to paying for food for his kids and younger siblings. When he’s given food at the hospital, he insists that his sister, Morena (Edith Diaz), be allowed to take it home for the family.

It’s a sad story. Of course, Westphall makes it all about himself and his struggle to get the Hospital Board to approve his social outreach programs. For the thousandth time this season, he tells Auschlander that he thought people would automatically agree to all of his ideas. Westphall is the only character I know who can meet a man who is starving and turn it into a pity party for himself.

Speaking of sad stories, Colonel Cochrane (David Ackroyd) is informed that, even if he does regain the ability to walk, he will probably never be allowed to ride in another space shuttle. NASA feels that Cochrane’s religious fervor would make people nervous. (Really?) Cochrane’s wife gets frustrated with him always talking about God and leaves him. Cochrane has yet another vision of himself floating in space. He falls out of his hospital bed and nearly breaks his neck. Dr. Morrison tells Cochrane that God would not want him to destroy himself.

Poor Dr. Morrison. He spends this entire episode getting physically ill because he’s so worried about taking his third remedial exam. It’s actually kind of amazing that Morrison is being allowed to treat high-profile patients (like the astronaut) when he really shouldn’t even be allowed to practice medicine in the first place. (Last season, in case you forgot, Morrison confessed to getting his medical degree from a fly-by-night medical school in South America.)

When Dr. Turner’s ex-husband (Charles Weldon) comes to the hospital and asks her to consider returning to her hometown in Mississippi and serving as the town’s doctor, Chandler gets jealous. Turner informs Chandler that he’ll never be a good doctor unless he learns how to care about other people. Then she dumps him.

At the insistence of Bobby Caldwell, Ehrlich is kicked out of his plastic surgery rotation and assigned to gynecology. Meanwhile, Bobby continues to be a sleaze who hits on every woman in the hospital while obsessing over his new facial scar.

Nurse Rosenthal gets into an argument with abrasive Nurse Lucy Papandrao (Jennifer Savidge). Rosenthal accuses Lucy of being “autocratic.” Lucy accuses Rosenthal of being a suck-up who brings all of her personal problems into the hospital and whose “bratty kids are calling up here all the time.” Rosenthal slaps Lucy. Somehow, Rosenthal does not lose her job, which kind of supports Lucy’s claim that Rosenthal gets special treatment.

Seriously, is no one happy at St. Eligius?

Well, there is one happy couple, and their identity might surprise you. When Dr. Craig comes into work, he finds Gene Galecki (Ramon Bieri) waiting for him with Dr. Craig’s infant granddaughter, Barbara. Gene explains that Yvonne seems to be reacting well but that she still has a long way to go in her recovery. Gene says that he and his wife are going to have to devote all of their time to taking care of Yvonne. He asks Dr. Craig to look after Barbara. Dr. Craig agrees. When he calls Ellen and gives her the news, she’s overjoyed. For that matter, so is Dr. Craig.

So Mark and Ellen Craig end this episode happy. Who would have guessed? Personally, I’m happy for them. Watching this show, it’s easy to get used to the idea of Dr. Craig as always being sarcastic and prickly. This episode reminds us that Dr. Craig is just as compelling when he’s in a good mood.

In the end, there’s a lot of sadness in this episode. Fortunately, there’s some happiness too. That’s a lesson for us all.

This week, season 3 comes to an end.

Episode 3.24 “Cheers”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on March 27th, 1985)

It’s Easter at St. Eligius and, of course, everyone is a bit depressed. While the patients in the Children’s Ward prepare for the annual Easter egg hunt (and are told about the magic Golden Egg), a man who dresses like Jesus is attacked by a bunch of vagrants and wheeled into the Emergency Room. Meanwhile, Dr. Craig is shaken to learn that his mentor, Dr. David Domedion (Dean Jagger), is suffering from dementia and Dr. Auschlander worries about his wife as she undergoes heart surgery.

And yet somehow, Dr. Westphall still manages to be the most depressed person in the hospital.

I have to admit that, over the course of this season, I’ve grown a bit frustrated with Dr. Westphall and his nonstop depression. At least one terrible thing has happened to every character on the show but they’ve all managed to continue on with their lives and their careers. Dr. Westphall is selling his house and, as a result, he’s spent a year having an existential crisis. Dr. Asuchlander is terminally ill and he still manages to smile occasionally. I realize that I’m probably being too hard on Westphall but seriously …. cheer up, old man! People love you!

This rather dark and depressing episode features an odd moment when Westphall, Crag, and Auschlander go to a neighborhood bar and talk about life. Their conversation is serious but the bar is Cheers, which was the setting of a popular sitcom of the same name in the 80s. (Dr. Frasier Crane first appeared on Cheers, though he’s sadly not present in this episode.) While the doctors wrestle with their misery, the bar regulars make jokes.

Barmaid Carla (Rhea Pearlman) gives them a hard time when she discovers that they work at St. Eligius. In fact, the entire bar seems to groan at the hospital’s name.

Bar regular Norm (George Wendt) is also Auschlander’s former accountant. Norm apologizes for losing Auschlander a good deal of money. Then Norm goes back to drinking. Maybe don’t hire an alcoholic to be your accountant.

Postman Cliff (future PIXAR regular John Ratzenberger) tries to get free medical advice. The doctors aren’t in the mood.

It’s an odd scene but there’s still a definite charm to it. It’s as if the show’s writers were acknowledging how difficult it can be to take Westphall’s nonstop glumness and they were puncturing his self-absorption a little by having the cast of another show attempt to steal the spotlight from all of his problems. This episode seems to be saying, “There’s a world outside of St. Eligius and it’s full of day drinkers.”

Still, the scene is ultimately about Dr. Westphall. At the end of it, he announces that he’s done with being a doctor. He’s going to retire. He’s going to leave St. Eligius and presumably find a new group of people to depress. Well, good for him.

The episode ends with Westphall leaving the hospital, perhaps for the last time. As he leaves, he spots and picks up the Golden Easter Egg.

Hey, Westphall, that egg is for the kids!

Next week, we start a new season!