Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.6 “Point Attack”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Eddie tries to change a young man’s life.

Episode 2.6 “Point Attack”

(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on October 21st, 1991)

Cort returns!

When the syndicated version of Baywatch first aired, John D. Cort (John Allen Nelson) was among the first season cast members who were no longer on the beach.  His absence was not addressed.  With this episode, we learn that he’s been in either South America, Kuwait, or Asia.  No one’s sure.  To me, it sounds like Cort’s a drug smugler.

Anyway, Cort shows up on the beach, just in time to help Eddie break up a gang fight!  Eddie, remembering his own tough past in Philadelphia, arranges for the gang members to become a part of W.A.T.A.R., a lifeguard-run program for troubled youths. This the second episode of Baywatch’s second season to feature a gang subplot.  It’s hard not to notice that whenever anyone who isn’t white shows up on this show, they’re always portrayed as being 1) poor and 2) affiliated with a gang.

Eddie hopes that he can convince gang leader Memo (Richard Coca) to change his ways.  Unfortunately, Memo’s father (Danny Trejo) wants his son to follow in his footsteps as a gang member.

When told that Memo is facing jail, his father says that’s no big deal and adds, “I did time!”

“So did I,” Eddie replies.

Eddie — do you really want to challenge Danny Trejo on the subject of prison?

On the one hand, it’s always good to see Danny Trejo and there’s a definite authenticity to his performance that the rest of this episode lacks.  At the same time, having Trejo around makes it all the more clear just how miscast Billy Warlock was a former juvenile delinquent-turned-lifeguard.  Watching this episode, I could buy Billy Warlock as someone who could save me if I was drowning.  (Thanks, Billy!)  But seeing him a graduate of the hard streets of Philadelphia?  That was a step too far.

As for the rest of this episode, Cort is far less of a rogue in this episode and he even helps out with the W.A.T.A.R. program.  (If anything John Allen Nelson seems to get all the lines that would usually have gone to David Hasselhoff, who is barely in this episode.)  When Eddie catches Memo trying to steal from the locker room, there’s a chase scene that goes on for so long that I was literally wondering if Eddie and Memo were eventually going to end up back at Baywatch Headquarters.  I’m all for a good action scene but this chase went on for so long that it verged on parody and left me wondering if maybe the show’s director realized, at the last minute, that the episode needed padding.

Unfortunately, Danny Trejo and David Hasselhoff don’t share any scenes in this episode.  As mentioned earlier, the Hoff is barely in it!  That seems like a missed opportunity to me.

 

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/17/26 — 5/23/26


Bardo: A Night In The Life (YouTube)

This was a live music program that aired on certain PBS stations.  On Friday night, I watched a concert given by Lake Street Drive.  Musically, they were very talented but a little mellow for my tastes.

Burning Love (Prime)

I bought all three seasons of Burning Love this week.  On Wednesday, I watched the first season.  Ken Marino was Mark Orlando, a fireman looking for love on a reality dating show.  “Will you accept my hose?”  “Please put your hose in my hands.”  I laughed and laughed.  If nothing else, it made up for not having a new season of The Bachelorette.

The Cult Behind The Killer: The Andrea Yates Story (Hulu)

I watched this documentary on Wednesday and Thursday.  Over three episode, it revisited the horrific crimes of Andrea Yates and suggested that she was brainwashed by a street preacher.  It didn’t really convince me.  Obviously, Yates claimed that she was driven to murder by her beliefs but I think that, even if she had never heard a sermon in her life, she would have eventually become a murderer.  Some people are just evil and will use whatever they can as a justification.

This documentary featured interviews with two people who were former members of the preacher’s cult.  Former cult members always make for terrible witnesses because it’s hard to have much respect for anyone who could get brainwashed in the first place.

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Saturday about fighting in-laws.  They should have just called off the wedding.

Election Coverage (Tuesday)

As someone who pretends not to follow politics, I made sure to pretend that I wasn’t glued to Tuesday’s election coverage.  I did a little cheering, I’ll admit it.

Family Lockup (Disney+)

I watched the first episode of this true crime show on Wednesday.  The father of a prisoner spent 72 hours in jail so he could talk to his son and see what it was like to be on the inside.  At the end of the episode, the son was released and his father was waiting for him.  Awww!

George Gently (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this British detective show on Tuesday.  It was depressing, as most British detective shows tend to be.

Good Times (Tubi)

In this 70s sitcom, the Evans family was divided over who to support in the next election, Alderman Fred C. Davis or Jimmy Pearson, who was well-educated but refused to play the dozens.  Jeff and I watched this episode on Sunday night.  Jimmy lost his election but swore that he would run again and this time, he would play the dozens.  Good for you, Jimmy.  Get out there and sell out.

Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)

This week’s episode took a look at 16 and Pregnant.  I guess it’s good that this episode exists because, in the future, historians will probably try to deny that 16 and Pregnant ever existed.

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock TV)

My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.

Hulk Hogan: Real American (Netflix)

I watched this docudrama on Thursday.  It told the story of Hulk Hogan, from his early days to his death. The weird thing about this documentary was that it acknowledged that wrestling was fake but still tried to pretend like it wasn’t.  (I have to admit that I’ve never been a big wrestling fan.)  The documentary featured extensive interviews with sickly looking Hogan.  He passed away shortly after filming wrapped.  Hulk Hogan took down Gawker and he’ll always be remembered for that.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout Factory TV)

I watched two episodes of this weird Japanese series on Saturday morning.  Monsters were everywhere but luckily, so were some people who were apparently descended from dinosaurs.  I really couldn’t follow the plot but the saber-tooth tiger was cute.

The PGA Championship (Sunday, CBS)

Congratulation to Aaron Rai!  I loved looking at the golf course.  It looked so relaxing.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 90 minutes.

Watched and Reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten,
  2. Baywatch,
  3. CHiPs,
  4. Crime Story,
  5. Decoy,
  6. Degrassi: The Next Generation,
  7. Freddy’s Nightmares,
  8. Hunter,
  9. The Love Boat,
  10. Pacific Blue,
  11. Saved By The Bell: The New Class,
  12. St. Elsewhere

 

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we meet Mitch’s brother.

Episode 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on October 14th, 1991)

Mitch’s brother, Buzz (Tim Thomerson), shows up with his 12 year-old son, Kyle (Chance Michael Corbitt)!  Mitch is reunited with Buzz and they both realize that they’re two old beach bums who are not getting any younger.  That’s especially true in the case of Buzz.  The show makes it clear that Buzz is Mitch’s older brother but we’re still left wondering just how much older.  With his gray hair and his weathered features, Tim Thomerson looks like he’s nearly 70 while Hasselhoff appears to be in his late 30s.

And that’s pretty much it.

Okay, in all fairness to the show, there is a bit more of a plot than just Buzz showing up but none of it adds up to much.  Mitch’s girlfriend, reporter Kaye Morgan (Pamela Bach), is pressured by her father to kill a story about a dangerous pier.  Kyle has a bad attitude and has an accident while surfing at that pier.  Luckily, the lifeguards are able to save him.  Eduardo (Buzz Belmondo) sells bikinis on the beach but — ha ha — the bikinis dissolve when soaked in salt water.  Eddie and Shauni have to help a lot of suddenly naked people get out of the water.  “We’re in syndication!” the show loudly announces.  Meanwhile, I’m left to wonder why you would buy a bikini from a stranger with a pencil-thin mustache.

For the most part, though, this was a montage episode.  The plot was secondary to the music playing behind slickly edited montages of Buzz and Mitch bonding.  Buzz and Kyle leave town at the end of the episode but, given how close Buzz and Mitch are, I’m sure that Buzz will return frequently in the future.

(Buzz will never be seen again.)

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/10/26 — 5/16/26


Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)

This week’s episode took a look at prescription drug abuse in Hollywood.  It really didn’t have anything new to say about the subject.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)

I watched three more episodes of this odd series on Friday night.  The monsters were even more trippy than usual!

The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Chevy Chase (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched this infamous roast from 2003.  Chevy Chase was roasted by a few people who knew him and by a lot of people who didn’t.  Stephen Colbert made an early name for himself with his no-holds barred set.  I knew this is something that we’re not supposed to admit nowadays but, as I watched the roast, I actually found myself feeling a little sorry for Chase.  It’s one thing to be insulted by your friends.  It’s another thing to be insulted by strangers who genuinely seem to despise you.  At least Paul Shaffer appeared to be having fun as Chevy’s roast master.

Ronda Rousey vs. Gina Carano (Netflix)

17 seconds?  After all the hype, it’s impossible not to be disappointed with the actual fight.  That said, I’ve always felt that Gina Carano was not treated fairly by Disney so I’m glad she appears to be making a comeback of sorts.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

My review of Saved By The Bell will be dropping soon, assuming I don’t fall asleep before I can write it.

Watched and Reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten,
  2. Baywatch,
  3. CHiPs,
  4. Crime Story,
  5. Decoy,
  6. Freddy’s Nightmares,
  7. Hunter,
  8. The Love Boat,
  9. Pacific Blue,
  10. Saved By The Bell: The New Class,
  11. St. Elsewhere

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.4 “Money, Honey”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week is pretty pointless.

Episosde 2.4 “Money, Honey”

(Dir by Monte Markham, originally aired on October 7th, 1991)

When Mitch and Eddie are hired to serve as lifeguards at a Hollywood party, film producer Dita (Leslie Easterbrook) is impressed when she sees Mitch respond to a boating accident.  She decides to make Mitch into a movie star.  Everyone knows that Mitch can swim and run in slow motion but can he deliver scripted lines?  Dita doesn’t care.  She just wants to sleep with him.  That goes against Mitch’s ethics so his film career ends before it even begins.  Meanwhile, Shauni puts together a benefit to protect a sea lion habitat.  At first, it looks like Shauni won’t be able to raise the money but then Mitch donates his movie paycheck to the cause.

This was a montage episode of Baywatch.  There really wasn’t much of a plot but there certainly were a lot of montages.  Watch as Mitch nervously sits in the makeup chair.  Watch as a bunch of bikini-clad beachgoers gather for Shauni’s benefit.  Listen to the music.  Watch the images.  Don’t worry about a thing….

In short, this was a pretty pointless episode.  That said, the sea lions were cute and the scene where Captain Thorpe tried to teach Mitch how to audition did make me smile.  It’s interesting that it took only four episodes for the syndicated version of Baywatch to fall into the pattern that would definite it for the next ten years.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/3/26 — 5/9/26


Hollywood Demons: After the Bell (HBOMax)

The latest episode of Hollywood Demons took a rather superficial look at life behind the scenes at Saved By The Bell.  The formerly reclusive Lark Voorhies was interviewed and it was good to see her looking healthy and happy.  As well, Max Battimo, from Good Morning Miss Bliss, was also interviewed and talked about what it was like to not be invited to join the cast of Saved By The Bell. 

The majority of the episode focused on Dustin Diamond and his years after Saved By The Bell.  The episode tried to generate some sympathy for Diamond and I have to admit that I’ve always felt that it wasn’t right to cast him as a high school student when he was barely 12 and had so little in common with the rest of the cast.  That said, in this documentary, Dustin Diamond also came across as being mentally unhinged.  One crew member told a story about Diamond threatening a Saved By The Bell: The New Class actor with a knife.  The name of the actor was not given, though from the details provided (the incident occurred while Diamond’s mother was dying of cancer and Diamond threatened to get the actor fired), it seems that the incident took place in 1996, during the film of the New Class‘s Fourth Season.  Assuming Diamond didn’t pull the knife on any of the female cast members or Dennis Haskins, that leaves Richard Lee Jackson, Ben Gould, and Anthony Harrell.  Jackson was in his second season on the show and was the lead actor so I don’t think Diamond would have threatened to get him fired.  Gould and Harrell were new.  On twitter, I found a tweet from 2014 of someone mentioning that they had been given a tour of Hollywood by someone who Dustin Diamond pulled a knife on.  Since Harrell has been busy with his musical career, that would leave Gould as the probable target of Diamond’s abuse.  Of course, that’s all speculation on my part.  The important thing is that Dustin Diamond didn’t come across as being particularly sympathetic, despite the documentary’s best efforts.

Unfortunately, while Lark, Max, and Ed Alonzo were all interviewed, Mark-Paul, Mario, Tiffani, Elizabeth, and Dennis Haskins were not.  I’m not surprised.  When you’ve actually got a career going, you don’t want to taint it by being interviewed by a tabloid television show.  Still, considering that they were the stars of the show, not interviewing them seemed like a missed opportunity.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)

I watched three more episodes of this odd series on Friday night.  The monsters were trippy!

Night Flight (NightFlight+)

I watched an episode on Friday night.  John Cougar Mellencamp talked about his career.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

My review of Saved By The Bell will be dropping soon, assuming I don’t fall asleep before I can write it.

Watched and Reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten,
  2. Baywatch,
  3. CHiPs,
  4. Crime Story,
  5. Decoy,
  6. Freddy’s Nightmares,
  7. Hunter,
  8. The Love Boat,
  9. Pacific Blue,
  10. Saved By The Bell: The New Class,
  11. St. Elsewhere

 

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.3 “The One That Got Away”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, you can do anything in a montage!

Episode 2.3 “The One That Got Away”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on September 30th, 1991)

After Megan (Vanessa Angel), a lifeguard who we’ve never seen before, is attacked by a maniac (Rick Dean), she has to conquer her fears of being attacked again so that she can lure him out of hiding so that he can be arrested.

Meanwhile, Shauni is burned out on being a lifeguard so she and Eddie spend a weekend just enjoying the beach and presumably ignoring anyone who might be drowning.

This is pretty much the epitome of a syndicated episode of Baywatch and it’s interesting to see that the formula was pretty much determined and locked in even this early into the show’s syndicated run.  There’s a serious storyline about a maniac attacking women on the beach but the cameraman spends as much time leering at Vanesa Angel as the man stalking her.  Shauni is tired of doing her job and instead of telling her to find a new job, it’s suggested that she just spend a weekend looking at the sunset with her boyfriend.

But the most important thing is that, regardless of the beach maniac and Shauni’s depression, there’s plenty of time for endless musical montages.  That’s what this episode is really all about.  Shauni gets a frustration montage.  She gets a happy montage.  Lifeguard Harvey gets an acting like a jackass montage.  Each montage takes up about five minutes of screentime so that probably definitely helped when it came to writing the script for this episode.

David Hasselhoff, oddly enough, is barely in this episode.  It’s only the second episode of the show’s syndicated run and the Hoff was already taking the week off?  I guess you can do that when you’re syndicated.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/26/26 — 5/2/26


I didn’t watch a hell of a lot this week.  Here’s a few thoughts on what I did watch.

Baywatch (Tubi)

You can read my review here.

Dr. Phil (Pluto TV)

I was bored.  I watched a few episodes this week.  Dr. Phil put bad parents and bratty children in their place.  One episode featured a guy who refused to take a drug test.  Finally, he did take the test and he tested negative.  I respected him for trying to stay true to his beliefs even when it would have been easier just to give in.

Freddy’s Nightmares (Tubi)

You can read my review here.

George Gently (YouTube)

He’s a British policeman and he’s not that gentle!  I watched an episode on Tuesday.

Git It On (PBS)

This was a 70s dance show.  I watched an episode on Friday night.

Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)

I watched the latest episode of this sensationalized but undeniably addictive show on Wednesday.  It was all about child actor and how their adult lives often seem to go off the rails.  Sometimes, I feel bad for all the child actors who went on to live non-tragic, non-scandalous lives.  Nobody ever takes the time to congratulate them on not self-destructing.

Intervention (Tubi)

I specifically tracked down the Ken Seeley episodes because Ken’s interventions always seemed to descend into chaos.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)

On Friday, I watched three episodes of this Japanese show about teenagers who carried the fighting spirits of various dinosaurs.  The saber-tooth tiger is so cool!

St. Elsewhere (Daily Motion)

You can read my review here.

Who’s The Boss (Prime)

I played this at night whenever I had insomnia.  The theme song always put me right to sleep.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we start season 2 of Baywatch.  Canceled by NBC, Baywatch found a new home in syndication.  The show was re-launched with a special two-hour premiere.  (For subsequent re-airings, the premiere was split into two episodes.)

Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on September 23rd, 1991)

A year and half after the final episode of Bayside’s network run, the show returns to the beach.

On the one hand, the basic idea is the same.  David Hasselhoff plays Mitch Buchanan, a divorced father who loves nothing more than being a lifeguard.  Eddie (Billy Warlock) and Shauni (Erika Eleniak) are two young lifeguards who are in love (though their engagement from the previous season is not mentioned).  Don Thorpe (Monte Markham) is Mitch’s no-nonsense boss. The sunsets are still beautiful.  The beaches are still inviting.

And yet, there are a few differences:

  1. Craig, Cort, Gina, Garner, and Trevor are nowhere to be seen.  (Craig, Cort, and Garner will all eventually return.  Gina and Trevor will never be mentioned again.)
  2. Hobie, Mitch’s son, is now played by Jeremy Jackson.
  3. Richard Jaeckel, who played doomed life guard Al Edwards in the pilot film, is now playing Ben Edwards, who apparently is meant to be the same character as Al.  (Mitch specifically mentions that Ben broke his leg when the pier collapsed, retconning Al’s heroic death into a mere injury.)
  4. Cort may be gone but there’s a new money-hungry lifeguard named Harvey (Tim McTigue).
  5. The second season premiere features even more musical montages than appeared in the first season.
  6. The second season premiere features a lot of random shots of women in skimpy bikinis.
  7. The red Baywatch one-piece swimsuits are back but now, they’re considerably tighter and more high-cut.
  8. The new Baywatch was airing in syndication.

I get the feeling that the Baywatch cameraman probably got together and all chanted, “Syndication, baby!” before running out onto the beach.  Even though the second season premiere is still far from what Baywatch would eventually become, one can already see the development of the aesthetic that led to it becoming the number one show for 90s frat boys and dads suffering from a midlife crisis.

As for this episode, there are rumors of an underwater monster and everyone wants in on the action.  Mitch saves an underwater photographer and falls in love for an episode.  Hasslehoff’s then-wife, Pamela Bach, plays a reporter whose editor wants sensationalized stories about the “beast of the bay.”  Of course, the beast of the bay is actually just the creation of an offshore oil company who wants to drill and ruin the environment because why not?  Luckily, one of the lifeguard, Devon (Andrea Thompson), is also an environmental activist.  Of course, Andrea Thompson is not listed in the opening credits so I imagine we’ll never see Devon again.

While Mitch is investigating the monster, Shauni rescues a little girl from drowning and then gets involved in the family’s life.  The family is black and the little girl’s brother is being recruited by a street gang so the very white Shauni arranges from him to join the junior lifeguards instead.  Shauni’s critical father (Albert Stratton) is impressed but I have to admit that I found the storyline to be a bit condescending.  Like a lot of 90s shows, Baywatch was at its weakest when it tried to deal with real-life issues.  It’s hard not to notice that whenever a guest actor who wasn’t white showed up on episode of Baywatch, they were always either being tempted or pressured to join a gang or they were trying to get out of the gang lifestyle.

In this episode, there’s an odd moment when Hobie decides to go into a storm drain and pretend to be the monster, which leads to a panic on the beach and monster hunters showing up with guns.  Mitch shows up and ends the situation before it gets too out-of-hand but you really do have to wonder if maybe Hobie would be better off with his mother.  I mean, seriously, Mitch — what are you doing here?  Your son is apparently an idiot who never learned anything from the dozen or so times his life was put in danger during the first season.

Finally, Thorpe gets promoted and he wants Mitch to take his place as chief.  Mitch argues that the new chief should be Ben Edwards.  Since apparently Ben has the power to come back from the dead, I can see Mitch’s logic.  In the end, Thorpe agrees.

And that’s it for this episode.  It’s definitely Baywatch but it’s still not quite as fun as the show would eventually become once it fully embraced just how ludicrous things could get in syndication.  This episode — and I imagine the rest of this season — feels like a show that is still making the transition from network television to anything-goes syndication.  Eventually, the show will get David Charvet, Pamela Anderson, and David “The Bulge” Chokachi.  During season 2, it was still just Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/19/26 — 4/25/26


Boy Band Confidential (HBOMax)

Another week, another special about boy bands.  I watched this 3-hour, two-part documentary on Wednesday and Thursday.  Joey Fatone was one of the producers so it’s not a surprise that a major theme of the documentary was that Joey Fatone was a pretty cool guy.  This show hit all the usual points — hey, there’s Lou Pealman! — without adding much new insight.

Crime Story (Tubi)

My review will drop this upcoming Monday.

Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)

My review will drop tomorrow night.

Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)

I watched two episodes.  The first one was about Stephen Collins (yikes!).  The second was about Jerry Springer.  Now that Jerry is dead and his show is definitely never coming back, all of his producers are trying to cash in by letting you know that they were anti-Jerry the whole time.  It all feels a bit self-serving.

Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock)

My review will drop tomorrow.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

Along with this week’s review episode (which will be dropping shortly), I also watched three Patrick Muldoon episodes on Friday.  RIP.

Watched and Reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten
  2. Baywatch
  3. CHiPs
  4. Decoy
  5. Freddy’s Nightmares
  6. Hunter
  7. The Love Boat
  8. Making It Legal
  9. Pacific Blue
  10. Saved By The Bell: The New Class
  11. St. Elsewhere