Michael Sax | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, season 3 comes to an end.

Episode 3.24 “Cheers”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on March 27th, 1985)

It’s Easter at St. Eligius and, of course, everyone is a bit depressed. While the patients in the Children’s Ward prepare for the annual Easter egg hunt (and are told about the magic Golden Egg), a man who dresses like Jesus is attacked by a bunch of vagrants and wheeled into the Emergency Room. Meanwhile, Dr. Craig is shaken to learn that his mentor, Dr. David Domedion (Dean Jagger), is suffering from dementia and Dr. Auschlander worries about his wife as she undergoes heart surgery.

And yet somehow, Dr. Westphall still manages to be the most depressed person in the hospital.

I have to admit that, over the course of this season, I’ve grown a bit frustrated with Dr. Westphall and his nonstop depression. At least one terrible thing has happened to every character on the show but they’ve all managed to continue on with their lives and their careers. Dr. Westphall is selling his house and, as a result, he’s spent a year having an existential crisis. Dr. Asuchlander is terminally ill and he still manages to smile occasionally. I realize that I’m probably being too hard on Westphall but seriously …. cheer up, old man! People love you!

This rather dark and depressing episode features an odd moment when Westphall, Crag, and Auschlander go to a neighborhood bar and talk about life. Their conversation is serious but the bar is Cheers, which was the setting of a popular sitcom of the same name in the 80s. (Dr. Frasier Crane first appeared on Cheers, though he’s sadly not present in this episode.) While the doctors wrestle with their misery, the bar regulars make jokes.

Barmaid Carla (Rhea Pearlman) gives them a hard time when she discovers that they work at St. Eligius. In fact, the entire bar seems to groan at the hospital’s name.

Bar regular Norm (George Wendt) is also Auschlander’s former accountant. Norm apologizes for losing Auschlander a good deal of money. Then Norm goes back to drinking. Maybe don’t hire an alcoholic to be your accountant.

Postman Cliff (future PIXAR regular John Ratzenberger) tries to get free medical advice. The doctors aren’t in the mood.

It’s an odd scene but there’s still a definite charm to it. It’s as if the show’s writers were acknowledging how difficult it can be to take Westphall’s nonstop glumness and they were puncturing his self-absorption a little by having the cast of another show attempt to steal the spotlight from all of his problems. This episode seems to be saying, “There’s a world outside of St. Eligius and it’s full of day drinkers.”

Still, the scene is ultimately about Dr. Westphall. At the end of it, he announces that he’s done with being a doctor. He’s going to retire. He’s going to leave St. Eligius and presumably find a new group of people to depress. Well, good for him.

The episode ends with Westphall leaving the hospital, perhaps for the last time. As he leaves, he spots and picks up the Golden Easter Egg.

Hey, Westphall, that egg is for the kids!

Next week, we start a new season!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat sets sail without a laugh track and things get awkward.

Episode 5.4 “The Incredible Hunk/Isaac, the Marriage Counselor/Jewels & Jim”

(Dir by Howard Morris, originally aired on October 24th, 1981)

Julie has hired a new entertainer for this cruise. His name is Hank Austin (Brian Kerwin) and he’s a teacher-by-day and a dancer-by-night. Julie has never actually seen Hank perform but Hank’s agent assured Julie that he’s amazing. How will Julie (and Captain Stubing) react when Hank turns out to be a …. STRIPPER!?

Even more importantly, how will the head of Hank’s PTA react? Shelley (Christopher Norris) is also a passenger on the boat and she and Hank take an immediate liking to each other. Fortunately, for Hank, Shelley does not see his performance but afterwards, she tells Hank that she’s heard a lot of people talking about how there’s a male stripper on the ship. Hank laughs it off. But then Julie walks up to Shelley and starts to complain about Hank’s act, which is seriously immature of her. I mean, Julie doesn’t even know Shelley but Julie still acts like she’s morally offended that Shelley would associate with someone with whom Julie is upset. It’s seriously out-of-character for Julie and it made me wonder if maybe Julie picked up some coke when the ship was docked at Acapulco.

Don’t worry, though. Julie eventually apologizes for lashing out and Shelley and Hank leave the ship together. From now on, the only stripping that Hank will be doing will be at PTA meetings.

Things also work out for Frank Dalton (Flip Wilson). Frank boards the ship and tells Isaac that he changed Frank’s life. Isaac has no idea who Frank is. Frank explains that he took the same cruise last year. He had a fight with his wife and went into the Pirate’s Cove for a drink. Frank told Isaac his problems. Isaac told him that sometimes, a man just has to put his foot down. Frank took Isaac’s advice and, as a result, his wife left him. Now, Frank is single and suicidal. Isaac tries to set Frank up with some other passengers. When that doesn’t work, Isaac calls Frank’s ex-wife and convinces her to board the boat in Acapulco and take him back. Frank and Janet (Marla Gibbs) are reunited. Good work, Isaac!

Finally, a jewel thief named Jim Pickett (Michael Zaslow) boards the boat. He just wants to steal a valuable necklace but instead, he ends up falling in love with Lilia Chandler (Joan Van Ark). When Jim does steal a necklace from Mrs. Landers (Henny Backus), he gives it to Lila. However, when it looks like Jim’s going to get caught by the Captain, Lila gives the necklace back to Mrs. Landers. It turns out that Lila is a jewel thief as well! She was going to let Jim steal the necklace for her but then she fell in love with him. The two reformed thieves leave the ship as a couple.

This was a weird episode because there was no laugh track. There was several moments where it was obvious that a laugh track was meant to be heard but instead of canned laughter, there was only dead air. It made the entire episode feel a bit awkward. Laugh tracks are definitely dork and corny but then again, so is The Love Boat. If anything, The Love Boat is one of the rare shows that benefitted from having a laugh track. It’s absence made the entire cruise feel weird.

As for the guest stars and their stories, I liked Michael Zaslow and Joan Van Ark. They had an enjoyable chemistry. The other two stories weren’t that interesting. The male stripper story only succeeded in making Julie look totally incompetent at her job. She got mad at Hank for being a stripper but did it seriously not occur to her to ask what type of dancing he actually did before booking him? As for the other story, it was just depressing. A laugh track would have helped….

This was just not a very good cruise, I’m afraid. It happens. Hopefully, next week will be better.