Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 3.1 “Welcome to Bayside”

Posted on November 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we start the third season.

Episode 3.1 “Welcome to Bayside”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 9th, 1995)

It’s time to start another school year at Bayside High School. Screech is back as Mr. Belding’s assistant, and the first thing you might notice is that, between the end of the second season and the start of the third, Dustin Diamond became an even worse actor than he was before. Screech now literally screeches when he speaks and, whenever he’s upset, he takes on a falsetto voice and starts to cry. Mr. Belding is starting a diet and Screech is determined to keep him from eating candy and junk food and, in real life, Mr. Belding probably would have shot Screech in the head.

The second thing you might notice is that only Tommy D, Rachel, and Lindsay are back for the third season. Bobby, Megan, and Brian are all gone and are not even mentioned in this episode. Instead, a group of students have transferred from Valley High to Bayside. And luckily, three of them seem like they can perfectly step into the shoes left behind by Brian, Megan, and Bobby.

Ryan Parker (Richard Lee Jackson) is a blonde con artist who always has a scheme going. Hey, that’s just like Zack, Scott, and Brian! When Ryan went to Valley, he was infamous for TPing the halls of Bayside. He swears that he’s a Bayside Tiger now. He also has a rush on Lindsay, despite the fact that Tommy D has already told Rachel that he hopes to get another chance to be her boyfriend. Wow, that’s pretty much the same thing that happened when Scott was at the school. Whatever happened to Scott?

Maria Lopez (Samantha Becker) was the head cheerleader at Valley and now she wants to be the head cheerleader at Bayside! Maria is tough and outspoken, and obviously she was named after Mario Lopez. Maria is unique in that, unlike her season 3 classmates, she will actually end up sticking with the show until the final episode. No escape for Maria.

R.J. Collins (Salim Grant) likes to DJ and everyone calls him “Hollywood” because this is a Peter Engel sitcom.

Tommy D and Rachel don’t want a bunch of Valley kids going to their school. However, Ryan, Maria, and RJ have schemes of their own. For instance, Ryan and Hollywood give a copy of Rachel’s diary to Screech and Belding and they are shocked to discover that Rachel wrote about how much she disliked Bayside. When it comes time to pick a new head cheerleader, they pick Maria because at least Maria cares about her school! However, what Belding and Screech are too dumb to figure out is that the diary was a forgery!

(Why are Screech and Belding judging the cheerleader tryouts? Where is the cheerleading coach?)

Tommy D retaliates by TPing the halls and framing Ryan. With a fight brewing in the hallway, Ryan finally admits to forging the diary and Tommy admits to framing Ryan. Belding and Screech cancel the results of the cheerleader tryouts. But how can Belding and Screech bring the school together?

At the welcome back dance, Belding divides the gym in half. Valley transfers are confined to one side and the Bayside regulars are confined to the other. This causes everyone to magically see how foolish they’ve been. Unity rules! Yay!

This episode was dumb but important. It was important because Ryan Parker and Maria Lopez are destined to become the two most important characters on the show. Richard Lee Jackson will stick around for three seasons and, of the various Zack Morris clones who wandered through Saved by the Bell: The New Class, he’ll come the closest to actually capturing that old Gosselaar magic. Samantha Becker will stay with the show until the end. She’ll give the series the continuity that it’s been lacking.

The third season is the season in which The New Class finally came into its own. Let’s see how things play out.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.13 “S.A.T.s”

Posted on November 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Jessie has yet another breakdown.

Episode 3.13 “S.A.T.s”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 16th, 1991)

Everyone takes the “most important test of your lives!” Yes, it’s time for the S.A.T. Slater scores a 1050. Kelly scores an 1100. Lisa Turtle scores an 1120. Screech gets a 1220. Zack scores a 1502, somehow. (“The test measures how much you know,” Kelly says, “not how much you study.” Ummm .… yeah, that’s kind of true, and that’s actually the reason why I did well on the S.A.T.s when I took them, but it doesn’t explain a score that high.) Jessie, thinking that if Zack got a 1502 then she must have gotten a 1600, is shocked to discover that she only scored a 1205. Wow, that’s less than Screech! Jessie, you never should have stopped taking those pills!

When Stansbury, Jessie’s dream school, tries to recruit Zack and offers Slater a football scholarship, Jessie has a breakdown. The Gang decides that the best way to help Jessie is to get James the Actor (Mark Blankfield) to pretend to be a recruiter from Harvard who has come to the school specifically to meet with Jessie. The Stansbury recruiter is impressed, but Jessie is offended when she realizes that Stansbury only wants her because it thinks Harvard wants her. Jessie announces that she no longer wants to go to Stansbury, and Slater turns down the football scholarship… which makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, Stansbury is probably a pretty big deal. If you can get in, do it. That’s especially true in Slater’s case. He’s only scored a 1050 on his SAT.

Meanwhile, James the Actor then meets with Belding and, while pretending to be a representative of the College Board, tells him to stop giving Zack so much homework. Belding does not recognize James as being the guy who, just a year ago, pretended to be Zack’s father.

This episode is yet another that seems to be about punishing Jessie for having ambition. I mean, personally, I think she’s going to regret spending her high school years studying and worrying about her grades. Have fun and go to a party school. That’s what I did, and my life turned out fine. That said, it’s always a little weird to me how much joy Saved By The Bell sometimes took in destroying Jessie’s dreams.

I believe that was Mark Blankfield’s final time to play James the Actor on Saved By The Bell. He did return for two episodes of The New Class. Belding never did figure out who he was. Belding definitely did not go to Stansbury.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.25 and 2.26 “Goodbye Bayside”

Posted on November 3, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, season 2 comes to a close with a two-part epiosde!

Episode 2.25 and 2.26 “Goodbye Bayside”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 31st, 1994)

“Kids can make a difference!” is the message of the second season finale of Saved by the Bell: The New Class, and technically that is true. Right now, as I write this, a bunch of young people in Michigan are casting their first-ever vote for a 4’8″ anti-Semitic weasel. The kids can make a difference, but maybe they shouldn’t, because kids are stupid.

Luckily, the kids attending Bayside in 1994 weren’t spending all of their time listening to Nazi-adjacent Twitch streamers. When they said they wanted to make a difference, all they meant was that they wanted to save their school from J. Walter McMillan (Victor Brandt), the real estate tycoon who spent five million dollars to purchase the school from the school board. McMillan is planning on having the school torn down, and he’s even planning on doing it before prom! Mr. Belding is losing his job. Screech is going to have to do his work-study at another school. Megan will be going to private school, which would actually probably increase her chances of getting into a good college — so yay, Megan! Meanwhile, Bobby, Brian, and Lindsay will be transferring to Lincoln High. (Given that Brian is supposedly a foreign-exchange student, shouldn’t he be going back to Switzerland at some point?) Rachel and Tommy D are going to Valley. “I don’t talk to people from Valley!” Tommy says. “Now I can’t even talk to myself!”

(Oh, Jonathan Angel. So often your performance as Tommy D was the sole pleasure to be found on this show.)

The kids decide it’s time to protest! It’s also apparently time for Screech to pretend to be an attorney so he can sabotage the deal. (I guess James the Actor finally realized it was kind of dumb to spend all of his time hanging out with a bunch of stupid high school kids.) This is what drives me crazy about Saved by the Bell: The New Class. There is no reason to believe that Screech could successfully pretend to be a lawyer. But that’s what the Gang goes with! Screech introduces himself to the School Board as “I.M. Slick, attorney,” and no one notices that he looks and sounds exactly like Belding’s assistant. Then Screech introduces himself to McMillan as “I.M. Slicker, attorney,” and it doesn’t occur to the very wealthy and very connected McMillan that he’s never heard of this guy before. Mr. Belding eventually discovers what Screech is up to and he puts a stop to it.

However, Mr. Belding doesn’t say anything when Rachel pretends to be the school nurse and tells McMillan that the entire school is under quarantine due to a measles outbreak. McMillan says that he’ll hold off on demolishing the school until the measles outbreak has ended. To me, it seems like the perfect time to demolish the school would be during a measles outbreak, but what do I know. Belding and the kids discover that McMillan went to Bayside in the ’50s, so they decide to throw a 1950s prom to try to convince McMillan to spare the school. Belding and Screech both dress up as Elvis.

McMillan comes to the prom but he’s not impressed — and really, why should he be? Slater (Mario Lopez) and Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies) both suddenly walk into the gym and demand that McMillan not tear down the school. The audience goes wild. Then Sandy Bennett (Aileen Fitzpatrick) shows up. Sandy was once the girl on whom teenage McMillan had a crush. Seeing Sandy is enough to get McMillan to change his mind about a five-million-dollar business deal. Sandy says that her nephew insisted that she had to save Bayside. Who is her nephew? A long-haired Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) steps into the gym and the audience goes wild again.

And it is nice to see Mario Lopez, Lark Voorhies, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar back at Bayside. It’s also interesting to note that none of them seem to be particularly enthused about seeing Dustin Diamond again. (Gosselaar has said that shooting this episode was the last time he ever saw Diamond.)

Bayside is saved! Season two comes to an end with a two-parter that was dumb but crowd-pleasing. (Slater will make at least one more New Class appearance. This episode was it for Zack and Lisa until the short-lived Peacock revival.) This episode was also the final episode for Christian Oliver, Spankee Rodgers, and Bianca Lawson. Next week, when we start season three, Brian, Bobby, and Megan will all be gone and they’ll never be mentioned again. We can assume Brian went back to Switzerland and Megan probably did go to that private school. As for Bobby, who knows? What I can tell you is that the season three cast will feature some of the actors and characters who are the most regularly associated with Saved by the Bell: The New Class.

For now, let’s just be happy that Bayside High School has been saved… again.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.12 “Date Auction”

Posted on October 31, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the school is torn apart by a date auction!

Episode 3.12 “Date Auction”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 9th, 1991)

The cheerleaders need to buy new uniforms but they’re informed that Bayside doesn’t have enough money in their budget. (That’s what they get for not drilling for oil on the football field). Zack suggests that the cheerleader cheer “in their bikinis.” Kelly suggests a date auction to raise money because “lots of people would bet on Zack and Slater!” Jessie, who views the whole idea as being sexist, announce that she will not be bidding and then proceeds to threaten any girl who would even think of bidding on Slater.

At the auction, one of the many Bayside nerds is purchased, for 15 cents, by a girl who wears glasses. “Awwwww!” say the audience and they should because they’re a cute couple.

Lisa purchases student council vice president Brian Watkins (Patrick J. Dancy). Brian is an intellectual who loves Catcher In The Rye. (“I love baseball!” Lisa says). Brian insinuates that Lisa is too shallow for him so Lisa pretends to be an intellectual too. When Kelly tells Lisa that she’s not showing her true self, Lisa replies, “This Lisa has a boyfriend. The old Lisa didn’t.” Awww, what a sad line! Actually, why doesn’t Lisa just go out with Jessie’s stepbrother? They seemed to have a lot of chemistry. For that matter, where is Jessie’s stepbrother?

No one bids on Slater until Kelly, feeling sorry for him, finally speaks up and purchases a date with him. An angry Jessie slaps down $25.00 and ends up buying a date with Screech.

Finally, Zack comes out on stage. There’s a bidding frenzy. Eventually, Wendy (Judy Carmen) announces that she’s bidding a hundred dollars. A shocked Zack is sold to Wendy. Zack doesn’t know how to react because Wendy is — wait for it — overweight!

This episode features both Zack and Jessie at their absolute worst. Jessie, at least, eventually sees the error of her ways and ends up not only going to the dance with Screech but also forgiving Slater. Zack, on the other hand, attempts to get out of the date by faking an old track injury. Of course, Zack then goes surfing. Did Zack think Wendy wouldn’t hear about that?

Wendy breaks off her date with Zack and the audience applauds. Even they know that Zack is being a jerk. Zack goes to the dance alone and sits with the nerds (including the guy who was purchased for 15 cents). When Wendy shows up, Zack walks up to her and asks her to dance. Wendy agrees but then Zack ruins the moment by saying that he just feels guilty about the way he treated her. Wendy doesn’t want Zack’s pity.

Now, that is where the episode should have ended. Zack screwed up twice. He’s humiliated at the school dance. Wendy has stood up for herself. A lesson has been learned. Instead, Zack then apologizes to Wendy for a third time and invites her to go to the Max after the dance. He also turns down Lydia when the latter asks him to dance. In regards to going to the Max, Wendy says, “I’d like that.”

“And I like you,” Zack says, sounding a bit like a serial killer who is trying to lure his latest victim into his basement.

If anything, Zack is even more condescending at the end of this episode then he was at the start. But the audience is now on his side. That’s the important thing.

The other important thing is that Lisa dumps Brian after he starts complaining about her friends. “Mr. Too Much Attitude!” Lisa calls him. That’s a line that I’ve used several times since I first watched this episode, usually while talking to a cat. That said, I do wish the episode had taken the time to explain that, even if Brian was a jerk, it’s still not a bad idea to read a book and expand your mind. Remember when Zack read about Chief Joseph?

As for Wendy and Brian, they will never be seen again. Maybe they started hanging out with Jessie’s stepbrother….

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.24 “Belding’s Prize”

Posted on October 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Screech screws up again.

Episode 2.24 “Belding’s Prize”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 24th, 1997)

Mr. Belding is super excited about joining the National Society of Principals! Except — uh-oh! — Screech forgot to mail in the application. What an idiot. Actually, what a pair of idiots. Screech may have screwed up but Belding shouldn’t have been depending on him in the first place. Mail your own application, Belding!

Screech could tell Belding the truth or he could lie and hire James The Actor (Mark Blankfield) to pretend to be the Grand Master of the Society and they could have a big fake ceremony at the school. Screech goes with the latter. It never seems to occur to Screech that, when he gave Belding a fake letter telling him that his application had been accepted, he could have just left it that. Instead, he decides to do a fake ceremony at the school. And he decides to hire James the Actor, despite the fact that Belding has met James in three other episodes.

This was the final time that Mark Blankfield plays James the Actor on Saved By The Bell. This is also his weakest outing as James, largely because the character is totally different here than he was in his previous appearances. Previously, James was quirky but good-hearted and determined to help the Bayside Gang out, whether the gang was led by Zack or Scott. This time, James is portrayed as being so self-absorbed and stupid that he literally leaves the fake ceremony after he gets a call telling him that he’s been hired for Broadway Show. He accidentally pulls off his fake beard. He accidentally pulls off the fake label that Tommy put on the trophy that James presented to Belding. James screws everything up and Mark Blanfield plays the role as if James acquired a cocaine addiction between appearances.

In the end, Belding forgives Screech. I have no idea why.

Meanwhile, the Gang wants to order the millionth burger at the Max so they’ll win tickets to the MTV Music Video Awards. Unfortunately, other students are ordering burgers too so the Gang spreads a rumor that Max burgers are actually bad for your stomach. That’s a great way to support your favorite hangout. Spread a food poisoning rumor and get the place shut down. Way to go, Gang, ya mooks!

When Tommy buys 200 burgers but still fails to order the millionth one, the Gang sells the burgers back to their fellow students and then use the money to buy more Max burgers. Eventually, the grill gets shut down and Mr. Belding ends up winning the contest.

This episode featured Dustin Diamond at his worse. He was never particularly good but at least he seemed to be trying for the first half of the second season. But, in this episode, he speaks in his falsetto voice, he’s cartoonishly broad in his movements, and he goes all wide-eyed whenever he pretends to be sad or serious. This is the Screech who showed up for the rest of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

This wasn’t a great episode but it did remind me that the MTV Music Video Awards used to be a big deal. It’s amazing how things change.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.11 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part Two”

Posted on October 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the sage of Jessie’s stepbrother continues.

Episode 3.11 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part Two”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 2nd, 1991)

Picking up where the previous episode ended, Eric and Lisa survive wrecking Belding’s car. Neither one gets checked by a doctor or anything sensible like that. As a matter of fact, Lisa thinks it’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to her. She had so much fun on her date with Eric that she even asks him if he wants to go to the MC Hammer concert with her.

Meanwhile, Zack and Slater have to figure out how to raise the $610 needed to fix the car. They decide that, since lying has worked out so well for them so far, they should hold a rigged raffle. Students pay Zack and Slater for the tickets, not realizing that it’s already been set up for Screech to win. The raffle takes place in Mr. Sachs’s math class. As Mr. Sachs solves a math problem on the board, he reads out each number. The class applauds each numeral. “I’ve never seen such math enthusiasm!” Mr. Sachs exclaims. Of course, Screech has the winning number.

When Screech is initially reluctant to hand over the money that he “won,” Eric overhears Zack and Slater threatening him in the locker room. Eric tries to blackmail Zack and Slater into giving him the money for his date with Lisa. Zack reveals that the only reason Lisa went on her first date with Eric was because Zack bribed her with the MC Hammer tickets.

Eric confronts Lisa at the Max. Lisa admits the truth. Eric says he never wants to speak to her again. As Jessie watches, Lisa sobs that, “At first, I didn’t like him. Now, I don’t like me!” Awww! Poor Lisa!

Things get even more complicated when Belding returns early and wants to see his car. It turns out that Eric convinced the auto shop teacher to totally take the car apart. (“Uh-oh,” the studio audience says.) When Jessie finds out, she marches into her former bedroom and punches Eric in the face. That black eye is all Eric needs to realize that he hasn’t been very nice. Eric puts Belding’s car back together. Belding thinks that Slater did a wonderful job installing his CD player.

Eric also decides to return to New York but the entire gang comes over and asks him to stay in California. Yay! They’re all friends now! I’m sure we’ll be seeing Eric a lot over the next few episodes. And even if we don’t see him, I’m sure that Jessie will occasionally mention him, right? I mean, you can’t just introduce a stepbrother, make him the center of a two-part episode, and then just forget about him, can you? That would be crazy!

Speaking of crazy, this episode drives me up the wall. The rigged lottery. The car prank. The desperate attempts to keep Belding from realizing that his car was in an accident. It’s all a bit much and it all could have been avoided by the students of Bayside not acting like idiots. I abhor idiot plots and that’s pretty much what this entire episode was.

If anything did redeem this episode, it was Slater getting tired of being told to fix the car and snapping, “I don’t need this pressure!” You tell ’em, Slater!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.23 “The D Stands For Dropout”

Posted on October 20, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Gang learns a lesson about not dropping out of school.

Episode 2.23 “The D Stands For Dropout”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 10th, 1994)

Oh no! Tommy wants to drop out of high school and work full time as an auto mechanic!

Actually …. that might be for the best.

Since the very first episode, Saved By The Bell: The New Class has portrayed Tommy as being an amiable but dumb guy who just happens to have a savant-like ability for fixing cars. It’s been established, in several episodes, that there’s nothing Tommy can’t do with a car. Since Tommy apparently know everything that there is to know about cars and cars are literally the only thing that he cares about and he always seems to be flunking every class that he takes, why shouldn’t Tommy drop out? What’s he going to do in high school or college? He’s already learned everything that there is no to know about how to fix a car and a good auto mechanic will always be in demand. Plus, Tommy’s cute enough that, if he needs to, he can probably find a rich widow in Beverly Hills to pay his bills.

Drop out, Tommy! Drop out!

Still, Mr. Belding and everyone else insists that Tommy is making a mistake when he drops out of school. Belding tells Tommy’s father (Nick Angotti) that he needs to show some tough love so Tommy realizes how difficult it is in the real world. Tommy is kicked out of his house and has to move in with Screech. Tommy is no longer allowed to help his friends with their science project. Tommy has one of those Saved By The Bell fantasy sequences where Screech refuses to hire him because he doesn’t have a high school diploma….

And really, this is when Tommy should say, “But I’m actually already getting paid good money to do the only thing that I care about and the only thing that I’m actually good at so who cares?”

Instead, Tommy reenrolls in high school and helps the Gang win the science fair by building a remote control car. The competition must have been really weak that year.

Poor Tommy. When he’s an adult, he’s going to look and realize he should have just dropped out when he had the chance.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.10 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part One”

Posted on October 17, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we meet Jessie’s new stepbrother! I’m sure he’ll be around forever.

Episode 3.10 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part One”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 2nd, 1991)

Jessie’s mom has gotten married …. again!

Now, in this episode, we don’t actually meet Jessie’s mom. Nor do we meet her new stepfather. In fact, she says next to nothing about her new stepfather. Instead, this entire episode is all about Eric Tramer (Joshua Hoffman), her new stepbrother from New York!

That’s right. Jessie has a stepbrother and I’m sure that he’s going to be a major part of the show!

(Incidentally, I’m assuming that Eric Tramer was named after script consultant Bennett Tramer.)

Unfortunately, Eric is a little bit cocky. He’s got that New York attitude. When Zack pretends to be Jewish so he can skip school on Rosh Hashanah and go to a baseball game, Eric finds out and blackmails him into giving up his locker. When Jessie calls Slater a “curly Conan,” Eric records it and threatens to play it for the whole school. Jessie gives up her bedroom to Eric.

(Hey, remember how, during the first season, Zack and Jessie lived right next to each other and Zack would regularly climb in through Jessie’s window? Apparently, the show forgot about that.)

Eric has a weakness. He has a crush on Lisa but Lisa doesn’t want anything to do with him. Zack has a plan. Belding is away for the weekend and he’s given the keys to his red sportscar to Slater so that Slater can install a CD player. (Hello, 1990s!) Zack offers to give Lisa two tickets to the MC Hammer concert if she agrees to go out with Eric. Then, he and Slater allow Eric to borrow Belding’s car for his date. Their plan is to take a picture of Eric driving Belding’s car and then …. well, I’m not sure what the next step is. I guess they’re going to frame Eric for auto theft and send him to prison so that Zack can get his locker back.

Lisa goes out with Eric. They go to see Casablanca. Eric does a really bad Bogart impersonation. Lisa is charmed. Eric lets Lisa drive the car. Awwww! Zack pops up with his camera and takes a picture. The flash blinds Lisa and she crashes Belding’s car!

“We’re trouble,” Zack says to the audience.

Hey, Zack — your best friend Lisa just crashed a car! Maybe go check on her and make sure she’s not dead….

This is a two-part episode so we’ll take a look at the conclusion next week. As for the first part, this whole thing is a good example of people overreacting to nothing. Because Eric had Screech tape the baseball game, he has video evidence of Zack not being at school. Well, so what? Zack skips class all the time and, in this case, his absence was pre-approved. To get Zack in trouble, Eric would have to prove that Zack was lying about being Jewish and Zack being at a baseball game doesn’t do that. Then, Jessie gives up her room so people won’t know that she called Slater a “curly Conan.” Jessie does this to avoid being embarrassed but would it really be that embarrassing? Slater’s the most popular guy at school and he calls her “mama” in public. And finally, the biggest overreaction is Zack and Slater deciding to frame Eric for a crime as opposed to just ignoring him. It just seems like this whole thing could have been resolved by everyone going out dancing or something.

Can things get any dumber? We’ll find out next week!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.22 “To Cheat Or Not To Cheat”

Posted on October 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Gang learns a pointless lesson about cheating.

Episode 2.22 “To Cheat Or Not To Cheat”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 3rd, 1994)

When I was in high school, my best subjects were always things like History, English, Drama, and Creative Writing. I excelled at classes that involved creativity, writing, and research. I absolutely sucked at any class the involved numbers.

In fact, during my senior year, I nearly flunked Algebra II. It just wasn’t my thing. I could usually get the right answer. Indeed, a lot of the time, I would look at a equation and solve it in my head within seconds. The problem was that I had to “show my work” and my work was always sloppy. Whenever I had to actually write out the numbers and the steps, I would end up either making a careless mistake or I would double guess myself.

Fortunately, Erin has taken Algebra II the year before me and she had saved all of her tests. An exam day, I would just wear a short skirt and write all the answers on my inner thigh before going to class. That was how I passed Algebra II. If I hadn’t done that, I would have flunked Algebra II and I would have graduated with a normal diploma instead of my neat advanced diploma.

In short, I cheated and I’ve never really regretted or felt bad about it. I did what I had to do so that I could enjoy the classes that I liked as opposed to spending all year stressing about the one that I struggled with.

This episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class also deals with cheating though I’m not sure that what happens in the episode actually counts. A school dance is approaching and Brian wants to take Rachel. But unless Rachel gets a B on her History midterm, she’s not going to be allowed to go. When Brian happens to come across a copy of the midterm, he tells Rachel what she should study. Rachel does so and scores an A.

The show calls this cheating but is it? Brain doesn’t tell Rachel the answers. Instead, he simply tells her what to study. Rachel studies and she passes the exam. To me, the important thing is that Rachel studied. To be honest, I don’t see what the big deal is.

The show argues that, since Rachel didn’t know that Brian had seen the exam and didn’t realize that she had “cheated” (instead, she just assumed that Brian had good instincts), Rachel will now think that all she has to do is cram the night before a test and she’ll do well. But again, so what? That’s what most people do. That’s what I did and I had a great time in college. Seriously, when you’re in school, you shouldn’t be worried about grades. You should be worried about having the fun that you’re no longer going to be allowed to have after you graduate.

In the end, a guilt-stricken Brian confesses to Mr. Belding and he gets suspended for two days. As for Rachel, she’s told that she can take a makeup exam. But why should Rachel be punished when she actually did study the first time and she didn’t know that Brian had seen the test?

This is a dumb episode. I haven’t even talked about Screech asking Tommy, Bobby, and Lindsay to fake school emergencies so that Screech can “solve” them and hopefully get a good evaluation from Mr. Belding. (Screech is cheating too! But the show seems to think it’s only bad when Rachel gets an A.) If you’re in high school and you’re reading this, go ahead and cheat. Your teachers are too burned out to care and won’t even remember you were in their class after the school year ends. Enjoy your life.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.9 “Pipe Dreams”

Posted on October 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Zack loses his favorite duck.

Episode 3.9 “Pipe Dreams”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 26th, 1991)

Oil’s been discovered on Bayside’s football field! Smarmy Dan Grayson (Gary Lahti) offers Bayside a lot of money for the right to drill on the field. Almost all of the students fantasize about going to rich school despite the fact that, with the exception of Kelly, it’s been established that they’re all already rich and that Bayside has been a rich school for a while. I’m not sure why the students think that they would be getting any of the money. And why is it up to the principal to decide whether or not to allow drilling. It seems like that should be up to the county supervisors.

But what about the never before mentioned pond behind the football field!? When the inevitable oil spill happens, Zack’s favorite duck Becky is killed. “She’s where the oil can’t hurt her anymore,” Screech says. It looks like it’s time for Zack to crash Mr. Grayson’s presentation and spray oil on him. “I’m covered in oil!” Mr. Grayson shouts. It’s easy to make your point when your opponent is cartoonishly evil.

You probably already guessed that this is not my favorite episode. It’s just so cartoonishly heavy-handed and the idea that Zack’s simplistic presentation was enough to convince everyone not to drill for oil was borderline insulting. If there’s oil underneath the football field and money to be made by drilling for it, someone’s going to do it. No one is going to care whether Zack approves or not.

My favorite moment is when Slater calls out Jessie for wearing clothing and accessories that aren’t environmentally-friendly. Seriously, Jessie is always a little bit too self-righteous for me. Personally, I would have agreed to let the company drill for the oil but only after they found a new pond for all of the turtles and ducks.

Poor Becky.