Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, Eddie in trouble!
Episode 2.9 “The Trophy: Part 1”
(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 11th, 1991)
Awkward teenager Caroline Larkin (A.J. Langer) doesn’t have any friends because her family’s poor and she’s from Ohio. The only person on the beach who shows her any kindess is Eddie the lifeguard. When Caroline tries to impress the rich girls on the beach by claiming to have been seduced by Eddie, the main mean girl makes sure that Caroline’s father finds out. Eddie is shocked when he’s arrested and charged with statuatory rape …. despite the fact the fact that almost the same thing happened to Craig during the first season of the show.
What makes thing particularly awkward is that Eddie is arrested just as he and Shauni are getting ready to go to a chairty gala. Shauni finally got Eddie into a tux and then Eddie gets the handcuffs slapped on.
Meanwhile, parapalegic lifeguard Eric Turner (Daniel Quinn) returns. He’s still in love with Megan (Vanessa Angel), the Australian lifeguard. But he’s also bitter about having to use a wheelchair. This is one of those stories that would be compelling if we had the slightest idea who Turner and Megan were before this episode aired. This is also one of those episodes where totally new people show up and everyone acts as if they were there from the start of the series. (In all fairness, Megan has appeared on the show before but her role has never been particularly large.) Everyone else know who Eric Turner but we, the viewers, have never heard of him before.
Anyway, this is a two-part episode so neither storyline is resolved. Since I’m taking next week off for America’s 250th birthday celebration, Eddie’s going to have to wait in jail for a while. However, two weeks from now, we’ll see if Eddie can clear his name!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, Mitch rescues a dog and Shauni and Eddie rescue an outsider.
Episode 2.8 “Thin or Die”
(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 4th, 1991)
Mitch rescues an adorable dog that is swimming in the middle of the ocean! Awwww!
The dog is so cute! But Mitch has a date that night and the dog seems to be determined to ruin it. Can Mitch adopt the dog? Actually, didn’t Mitch already adopt a dog? Didn’t almost this exact same thing happen during the first season? Seriously, whatever happened to the first dog!?
Fortunately, the dog helps Mitch track down its owner. It turns out that she’s being held hostage on her own boat. This, of course, allows for a minor action sequence. One thing that I always find interesting about Baywatch is that the lifeguards were apparently also cops. Garner Ellerbee may have been actual badge-carrying cop but he still didn’t do anything without asking a lifeguard to accompany him.
While Mitch is dealing with the dog situation, Eddie and Shauni are having relationship issues. When Shauni claims that she and Eddie don’t have anything in common, Eddie decides to ask out Nicole, the woman who works at his message service. (Apparently, message services were an early 90s thing.) Eddie has never met Nicole. He just knows that he digs her sultry voice and apparently, he’s sick of Shauni always yelling at him. Hey, remember when Eddie and Shauni got engaged? The show just kind of forgot about that.
Nicole (Melinda Reimer) shows up on the beach and she’s fat! I don’t include the exclamation mark to be cruel. I include it because that’s how the show presents her weight issue. Not only is Eddie kind of cheating on Shauni but he’s also doing it with a fat girl! Feeling insecure on the beach, Nicole later tries to walk into the ocean. Can Eddie and Shauni help her realize that she shouldn’t give up hope? Of course, they can! That said, it’s pretty safe to say that Nicole will never show up on another episode of Baywatch. You do have to feel a bit sorry for actress Melinda Reimer, who gives about as good a performance as anyone could with a Baywatch script. That said, the show definitely makes clear that the main lesson is that you should never judge anyone solely by their voice. Because they might be fat.
This episode was basically two half-baked stories mashed together. Yes, there was the hostage situation. And there was Nicole’s weight problem. But despite all of that, there really wasn’t any drama. Everything played out a low-key, laid-back pace. This was an episode that understood the assignment: Come up with just enough of a story to justify your existence but mostly just feature hot people on the beach.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, it’s Eddie vs Hector the Collector!
Episode 2.7 “Sandcastles”
(Dir by Monte Markham, originally aired on October 28th, 1991)
Eddie is freaking out because there’s too many homeless people on the beach. As he explains it to Shauni, he’s always feared that he could end up homeless. When Shauni suggests that maybe the homeless could live on a deserted army base, Eddie says that people like that are never willing to accept help. Eddie is really not a fan of the homeless!
Of course, in Eddie’s defense, he does get stabbed in the shoulder by a homeless man at the start of this episode. Hector the Collector (Ron Howard George) not only breaks into Eddie’s lifeguard tower but he also tries to steal a framed photograph of Shauni. When Eddie tries to stop him, Hector plunges a shard of glass into Eddie’s shoulder!
Hobie, meanwhile, is having a far better experience with the homeless. He meets Charlie (played by a young Nikki Cox), who is living in an abandoned power plant with her mother (Wendy Robie, who played the one-eyed Nadine on Twin Peaks). When Charlie’s mother disappears, Hobie helps Charlie look for her. When Hector the Collector steals Charlie’s journal, the entire Baywatch crew is there to help her get it back. Fortunately, Mitch is also there to save Charlie when she gets shoved into the ocean by Hector.
WOW! What is Hector’s problem!?
“Mine! Mine!” Hector hisses whenever anyone tries to take back any of the stuff that he’s stolen.
Calm down, Hector!
Meanwhile, Harvey needs a new place to live. Harvey? Oh yeah, he’s the new goofy lifeguard. He can’t sleep in his tower. He can’t live with Mitch. However, Harvey finds a big house with a pool and immediately imagines hundreds of swimsuit-clad women beckoning him to swim with him. This episode has two musical montages, one involving the homeless and one involving Harvey and a bunch of imaginary women. I’m getting the feeling that Baywatch really wasn’t that concerned with the problem of homelessness in Los Angeles.
Baywatch was (and, since it’s been revived for the upcoming television season, is) a very odd show. This episode deals with a very real social problem and David Hasselhoff is so earnest in the scenes that he shares with Nikki Cox that you can’t help but feel that maybe the Hoff’s heart was in the right place. But the show itself always seems more concerned with getting to the next beach shot. Watching this episode, you can hear the producers whispering, “Don’t worry, we’re not going to spend too much time with these homeless people….”
Anyway, the important thing is that everything works out for the best. Harvey moves in with some flight attendants. Charlie is reunited with her mother. And Hector the Collector gets the help he needs. Don’t you worry, Baywatch will be always there.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, we meet Mitch’s brother.
Episode 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”
(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on October 14th, 1991)
Mitch’s brother, Buzz (Tim Thomerson), shows up with his 12 year-old son, Kyle (Chance Michael Corbitt)! Mitch is reunited with Buzz and they both realize that they’re two old beach bums who are not getting any younger. That’s especially true in the case of Buzz. The show makes it clear that Buzz is Mitch’s older brother but we’re still left wondering just how much older. With his gray hair and his weathered features, Tim Thomerson looks like he’s nearly 70 while Hasselhoff appears to be in his late 30s.
And that’s pretty much it.
Okay, in all fairness to the show, there is a bit more of a plot than just Buzz showing up but none of it adds up to much. Mitch’s girlfriend, reporter Kaye Morgan (Pamela Bach), is pressured by her father to kill a story about a dangerous pier. Kyle has a bad attitude and has an accident while surfing at that pier. Luckily, the lifeguards are able to save him. Eduardo (Buzz Belmondo) sells bikinis on the beach but — ha ha — the bikinis dissolve when soaked in salt water. Eddie and Shauni have to help a lot of suddenly naked people get out of the water. “We’re in syndication!” the show loudly announces. Meanwhile, I’m left to wonder why you would buy a bikini from a stranger with a pencil-thin mustache.
For the most part, though, this was a montage episode. The plot was secondary to the music playing behind slickly edited montages of Buzz and Mitch bonding. Buzz and Kyle leave town at the end of the episode but, given how close Buzz and Mitch are, I’m sure that Buzz will return frequently in the future.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, we start season 2 of Baywatch. Canceled by NBC, Baywatch found a new home in syndication. The show was re-launched with a special two-hour premiere. (For subsequent re-airings, the premiere was split into two episodes.)
Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”
(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on September 23rd, 1991)
On the one hand, the basic idea is the same. David Hasselhoff plays Mitch Buchanan, a divorced father who loves nothing more than being a lifeguard. Eddie (Billy Warlock) and Shauni (Erika Eleniak) are two young lifeguards who are in love (though their engagement from the previous season is not mentioned). Don Thorpe (Monte Markham) is Mitch’s no-nonsense boss. The sunsets are still beautiful. The beaches are still inviting.
And yet, there are a few differences:
Craig, Cort, Gina, Garner, and Trevor are nowhere to be seen. (Craig, Cort, and Garner will all eventually return. Gina and Trevor will never be mentioned again.)
Hobie, Mitch’s son, is now played by Jeremy Jackson.
Richard Jaeckel, who played doomed life guard Al Edwards in the pilot film, is now playing Ben Edwards, who apparently is meant to be the same character as Al. (Mitch specifically mentions that Ben broke his leg when the pier collapsed, retconning Al’s heroic death into a mere injury.)
Cort may be gone but there’s a new money-hungry lifeguard named Harvey (Tim McTigue).
The second season premiere features even more musical montages than appeared in the first season.
The second season premiere features a lot of random shots of women in skimpy bikinis.
The red Baywatch one-piece swimsuits are back but now, they’re considerably tighter and more high-cut.
The new Baywatch was airing in syndication.
I get the feeling that the Baywatch cameraman probably got together and all chanted, “Syndication, baby!” before running out onto the beach. Even though the second season premiere is still far from what Baywatch would eventually become, one can already see the development of the aesthetic that led to it becoming the number one show for 90s frat boys and dads suffering from a midlife crisis.
As for this episode, there are rumors of an underwater monster and everyone wants in on the action. Mitch saves an underwater photographer and falls in love for an episode. Hasslehoff’s then-wife, Pamela Bach, plays a reporter whose editor wants sensationalized stories about the “beast of the bay.” Of course, the beast of the bay is actually just the creation of an offshore oil company who wants to drill and ruin the environment because why not? Luckily, one of the lifeguard, Devon (Andrea Thompson), is also an environmental activist. Of course, Andrea Thompson is not listed in the opening credits so I imagine we’ll never see Devon again.
While Mitch is investigating the monster, Shauni rescues a little girl from drowning and then gets involved in the family’s life. The family is black and the little girl’s brother is being recruited by a street gang so the very white Shauni arranges from him to join the junior lifeguards instead. Shauni’s critical father (Albert Stratton) is impressed but I have to admit that I found the storyline to be a bit condescending. Like a lot of 90s shows, Baywatch was at its weakest when it tried to deal with real-life issues. It’s hard not to notice that whenever a guest actor who wasn’t white showed up on episode of Baywatch, they were always either being tempted or pressured to join a gang or they were trying to get out of the gang lifestyle.
In this episode, there’s an odd moment when Hobie decides to go into a storm drain and pretend to be the monster, which leads to a panic on the beach and monster hunters showing up with guns. Mitch shows up and ends the situation before it gets too out-of-hand but you really do have to wonder if maybe Hobie would be better off with his mother. I mean, seriously, Mitch — what are you doing here? Your son is apparently an idiot who never learned anything from the dozen or so times his life was put in danger during the first season.
Finally, Thorpe gets promoted and he wants Mitch to take his place as chief. Mitch argues that the new chief should be Ben Edwards. Since apparently Ben has the power to come back from the dead, I can see Mitch’s logic. In the end, Thorpe agrees.
And that’s it for this episode. It’s definitely Baywatch but it’s still not quite as fun as the show would eventually become once it fully embraced just how ludicrous things could get in syndication. This episode — and I imagine the rest of this season — feels like a show that is still making the transition from network television to anything-goes syndication. Eventually, the show will get David Charvet, Pamela Anderson, and David “The Bulge” Chokachi. During season 2, it was still just Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak.
Through the Shattered Lens 