Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.12 “Of Scalpers and Superstars”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, OJ’s in trouble!

Episode 3.12 “Of Scalpers and Superstars”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 9th, 1987)

O.J. Simpson gets arrested!

Okay, technically, OJ Simpson is not the one being arrested.  He’s just playing TD Parker, the Bulls’s general manager.  TD is the one who is arrested at the end of this episode after being framed for stealing 5,000 ticket to the Championship Game and selling to a ticket scalper.  Still, as is so often the case with this show, the casting of OJ Simpson does bring a while new layer to the action of meaning to the action onscreen.

Who framed TD?  The answer is Dolph Crane (Forry Smith), a former player who was cut from the team.  Dolph has never appeared on the show before but, judging from what TD says when he sees Dolph hanging around the stadium, it seems that Dolph was cut last season.  One of the things that I’ve noticed about 1st & Ten is that new characters will often pop up out of nowhere and people will act as if they’ve been there the whole time.  Dolph appears to be one of those pop-up character.  Dolph mentions that he’s now dating TD’s former mistress.  Dolph and the owner of Arizona’s team are the ones who conspire to take out TD.  Hopefully, they didn’t plant a bloody glove anywhere in the office.

The Bulls are going to the Championship Game …. again!  Maybe they’ll actually win this time.  This is their third trip to the game, after all.  It’ll be kind of sad if they win without Coach Denardo, though.  Coach Grier just isn’t as much fun as foul-mouthed Ernie Denardo.

The entire team gets mad at Yinessa.  After getting injured during a game, he decides that he needs to make as much money as possible so he allows his agent (Bobby Hosea) to promote him as being the “star” of the team.  The rest of the team feels that isn’t fair.  The thing is, though …. Yinessa is kind of the star.  He’s the quarterback.  If he has a bad day, the team doesn’t win.  The Bulls are a bunch of crybabies.  When they find out that a team music video is being reimagined as a Yinessa music video, they literally look like they’re about to break down in tears.  No wonder they always lose the Championship Game.

This episode ended wth the Bulls heads to the Championship and OJ heading to jail.  That seems about right.  Good luck to the team!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.17 “Aunt Emma, I Love You/Hoopla/The First Romance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Set sail for adventure, your heart on a new romance….

Episode 7.17 “Aunt Emma, I Love You/Hoopla/The First Romance”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on January 21st, 1984)

This episode is just silly.

Sid Casear and Rose Marie play newlyweds who are on their honeymoon cruise.  The only problem is that Rose Marie has brought along a picture of her Aunt Emma, who never approved of Sid Caesar.  Aunt Emma always wanted to go on a cruise but having her picture around is seriously cramping Sid Caesar’s style.

Teenage Philip McKeon is expecting to meet his father (Bert Convy) on the boat.  Instead, he meets Convy’s secretary (Irena Ferris).  Son and secretary fall for each other.  The only problem is that the secretary has already fallen for the father!  And soon, the father is on the boat as well!

That said, neither one of those stories really matter.  This episode’s main focus is on the Harlem Globetrotters, who are taking the cruise to Mexico, where they’re supposed to play an exhibition game.  Isaac’s friend (Darrow Igus) is the manager of the Globetrotters and he’s already sold a lot of tickets to the game.  Unfortunately, when the stadium is flooded, the game is cancelled.  It looks like Igus is going to be broke and fired.  Wait a minute — what if the Globetrotters play a game on the boat?  And what if the other team is made up of the Love Boat crew!?

Uhmm …. would that really be a workable solution?  I mean, imagine that you spent a lot of money to see a basketball game in a stadium.  Now, imagine being told that the game will instead take place in a small dining room on a cruise ship and that one of the teams is going to be exclusively made up of middle-aged white people, with the exception of one unathletic teenage girl.  I might not demand all of my money back but I would probably ask for at least half of it.

Needless to say, the Globetrotters win the game.  The Love Boat band plays a really sad-sounding version of Sweet Georgia Brown.  The whole thing is just odd.

As I said, it was a very silly cruise.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.1 “Glass Houses”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, we start season 4!

Episode 4.1 “Glass Houses”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on July 26th, 1998)

The fourth season of Pacific Blue opens with many changes.

Palermo and Victor have retired.  Cory is now dating Doug Fraser (Owen McKibbin).  At the start of the episode, Cory and Doug accompany TC and Chris to Vegas, where they are married by — you guessed it! — an Elvis impersonator.

TC is now in charge of Pacific Blue and, while Chris and Cory both make plans to take the sergeant’s exam, TC focuses on bringing in some new blood.  At the police academy, he recruits two recent graduates — hyper-competent Jaime Strickland (Amy Hunter) and edgy rebel Russ Granger (Jeff Stearns).  He asks and gets undercover cop Monica Harper (Shanna Moakler) transferred to Pacific Blue so that she can go undercover to break up a meth operation at the local college.  Everyone is shocked when Monica turns out to be young and blonde.  Were they expecting a 40 year-old undercover college student?

Not happy about having to ride a bicycle, Russ decides to insert himself into Monica’s undercover operation.  Monica and Russ meet the two main dealers, Quincy (Joe Michael Burke) and Cherry (Michelle Beauchamp).  They discover that they’re getting their drugs from a chemistry professor (Robin Thomas).  What they don’t do is make an arrest.  Quincy and Cherry murder the professor and escape after setting off a bomb in the chemistry lab.

TC is not happy with his new cops.  In fact, the episode ends with him telling them that he has doubts about whether or not to keep them at Pacific Blue.  Fortunately, we the viewers know that they’ll be okay because they are all now listed in the opening credits.

Also listed in the opening credits is Bobby Cruz (Mario Lopez), the campus cop who drags Monica out of the laboratory right before it explodes.  Bobby has a history.  He was a member of the LAPD but, disgusted by the anti-Mexican racism that he saw, he became a campus cop instead.  (Where I went to college, the campus cops were the biggest joke around.)  TC offers Bobby a chance to be a member of Pacific Blue.  Bobby says that he’ll think about it.  We all know that means yes.

And that’s a good thing because this show could definitely use more Mario Lopez!  In fact, the only reason I started reviewing this stupid series was because I knew Mario would be joining the cast eventually.  Let’s hope Mario’s magic starts to make things better soon!

As for this episode, it was …. well, it wasn’t good.  Other than Lopez, none of the new characters really made much of an impression.  But, I am an optimist.  I have hope.

Never give up hope.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 1.13 “Running the Max”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

Today, we finish up season one of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Episode 1.13 “Running The Max”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 4th, 1993)

The season one finale of Saved By The Bell: The New Class opens with Scott talking directly the audience.  Hey, that’s something that Scott hasn’t done for a while….

When he goes into his Social Studies class (which is being taught by Mr. Belding because Mr. Tuttle is appearing on Oprah to discuss teachers who overeat), he has to pick a group  to join.  Lindsay says, “Hey, Scott, why don’t you join us?”  She says it as if Scott is still a relatively new acquaintance as opposed to the friend who is always a part of the main group.

Despite having made up with each other several episodes ago, Scott and Tommy D suddenly don’t like each other again.

Vicki suddenly has a crush on Scott again, even though that plotline was abandoned episodes ago.

Weasel suddenly has a crush on Megan, despite the fact that plotline was also abandoned shortly after the first season started.

Oh, and Weasel is again making jokes that sound like they were originally written for Screech.

Watching this episode, it quickly becomes apparent that it was meant to air much earlier in the season but it was instead used as the season finale.  That says a lot about how shoddy the first season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class really was.  The finale was an episode that was originally meant to air when everyone was still getting to know one another.  Vicki’s crush on Scott is a major subplot in this episode, despite the fact that the writers eventually abandoned the idea.  By moving this episode to the end, the show wrecks havoc on its continuity but then again, when has continuity ever mattered at Bayside?

On top of all that, this is a dumb episode.  Three businesses agree to let the students run things for a week.  Who would agree to such a stupid idea?  Scott, Tommy, Megan, Weasel, Vicki, and Lindsay end up running the Max.  The Max appears to be open 24 hours a day so I’d love to know how they’re running the Max and still going to class.  For that matter, how are only six students going to run an entire restaurant?  Anyway, long story short: Scott is a bad boss, everyone quits except for Weasel (so, do they all fail the class?), but then they change their mind after they hear that Scott feels bad about his behavior.  The gang hosts a banquet for the football team.  Tommy comes up with the idea of turning into a Country-and-Western-themed barbecue.  Wait a minute — TOMMY’S ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM!  Why isn’t he at the banquet?

This was a dumb ending to a dumb season.  Half of the cast was fired at the end of season one.  Robert Sutherland Telfer, Isaac Lidsky, and Bonnie Russavage would not return as Scott, Weasel, and Vicki for season two.  (Indeed, none of their character would ever be mentioned again, despite Tommy D, Lindsay, and Megan still being around.)  I can’t say that I disagree with the decision.  Telfer was miscast as the new Zack Morris.  Russavage never made much of an impression.  (In all fairness, she wasn’t helped by the fact that the show’s writers didn’t really seem to know what to do with Vicki.)  Lidsky probably did as well as anyone could with the role of Weasel but, from the second season onward, Saved By The Bell didn’t need a new Screech.  New students would take their places and they would be joined by a familiar face.

We’ll start season two next week!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.17 “Alarmed”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, a supporting character steps into the spotlight.

Episode 5.17 “Alarmed”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on February 14th, 1982)

While chasing a stolen sports car, Officer Bonnie Clark (Randi Oakes) finds herself stuck behind a van that will simply not stop blocking her pursuit.  When the van stops for a red light, Bonnie jumps out of her patrol car to tell the driver of the van to get out of the way.  The driver of the van turns out to be Toni (Christina Hart), an old classmate from the Academy.  A visibly nervous Toni tells Bonnie that she’s working undercover and then speeds off.  Bonnie, suspicious of her former friend, makes some calls and discovers that Toni is no longer with the Highway Patrol.  Bonnie thinks that Toni is a part of a car theft ring.  Bonnie becomes obsessed with putting Toni in prison.

And when I say obsessed, I mean that Bonnie seems to be positively unhinged about proving that Toni is now a criminal.  The way that Bonnie grins while telling her plans to Getraer really makes you wonder if maybe there’s something more to this story than just Bonnie wanting to capture a cop-turned-crook.  I mean, I dislike a lot of people who I went to school with but I wouldn’t ever call the cops on them.  It bothered me that Bonnie wasn’t even curious as to why Toni had become a criminal.  And CHiPs, as a show, wasn’t that interested in it either.  To me, though, that’s really the only interesting thing about Toni.

Bonnie joined the Highway Patrol at the start of the third season.  This is the first episode in which she’s really had the spotlight and, as I watched, I could kind of understand why it took so long.  While she certainly wasn’t helped by the show’s writers, there was still absolutely nothing convincing about Randi Oakes’s performance.  She delivered her lines in an excited rush and she seemed to be oddly giddy at times.  I would not want Bonnie carrying a gun.

This episode also featured cranky old Simon Oakland as a car security specialist who was trying to create a car that couldn’t be stolen.  He was upset that his daughter (Elizabeth Daily) wanted to go into the family business.  Ponch helped him see the error of his ways.

Finally, there was an odd scene where Baker and Ponch took two dates to a mud wrestling match.  Bonnie tagged along with her date.  Bonnie was disgusted by the mud wrestling, calling it degrading.  Of course, when Bonnie later arrested Toni, the two of them ended up fighting in a muddy puddle.

“Degrading!” Ponch said before Bonnie pulled both him and Baker into the mud.  As Toni was led away in handcuffs, Bonnie laughed and laughed.

The highlight of this episode?  Ponch’s bike got damaged and burst into flames while he was pursuing Toni.  Luckily, there  was a lake nearby.  Ponch’s plunge into the water was filmed in slow motion.  By the standards of CHiPs, it was actually pretty cool.

As for the rest of the episode, it featured what one would probably want from the show.  There were a lot of car chases and not a lot of plot.  Hopefully, this was not only the first Bonnie-centric episode but also the last one as well.

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

In 1986, riding high on the success of Miami Vice, Michael Mann signed on as executive producer of Crime Story, a cop show that Mann imagined would run for five seasons and which would follow a group of cops and gangsters from 1960s Chicago to 1980s Las Vegas.  The show was co-created by former Chicago cop Chuck Adamson and it starred another former Chicago cop, Dennis Farina.

Though generally well-received by critics, Crime Story struggled in the ratings.  The show’s highly serialized-nature made it difficult for audiences to follow.  (This was in the pre-streaming age, when viewers couldn’t just get online and catch up with what they may have missed.)  Crime Story only lasted for two seasons but it has since developed a strong cult following and is now regularly listed as one of the best cop shows ever made.

I’m going to find out if that’s true over the next few months.  Two weeks ago, I finished up Miami Vice.  Now, it’s time for Crime Story.

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Abel Ferrara, originally aired on September 18th, 1986)

In Chicago, on a rainy night in the early 1960s, a group of masked robbers hold up a fancy restaurant and then try to escape with a group of terrified hostages.  On the scene is the Major Crimes Unit, led by the grim Lt. Torello (Dennis Farina, a former real-life cop).  The end result is that all of the robbers end up dead, the hostages end up traumatized, and one of Torello’s men, the obviously doomed Wes Connelly (William Russ), appears to be losing his mind over the violence that he has to deal with every day.

The plot of the pilot is actually pretty simple.  A gang of thieves is holding up restaurants, banks, and stores in Chicago.  Torello believes that an ambitious gangster named Ray Luca (Tony Denison) is behind the robberies and Torello is correct.  The cool and sociopathic Ray is working with Johnny O’Donnel (David Caruso).  O’Donnel may be a childhood friend of Luca’s but his parents are friends with Torello.  When gangster Phil Bartoli (Jon Polito) orders Luca to kill O’Donnel after the latter robs one of Bartoli’s jewelry stores, it’s personal all-around.

Plot-wise, it’s pure Michael Mann.  The cops and the gangsters are both obsessive.  Luca will kill anyone to get ahead in the underworld.  Oddly, his only real loyalty seems to be to his dumbest henchman, Pauli Taglia (John Santucci, a real-life former jewel thief who was once arrested by Dennis Farina).  Torello may be fighting on the side of the law but he’s often just as quick to resort to violence as Luca.  Director Abel Ferrara’s style can be seen in a scene where Torello is visited by the ghost of the recently murdered Wes Connelly.  Torello is burned out and paranoid, flying into a rage when he sees his wife, Julie (Darlanne Fluegel), dancing with another man at a wedding.  (The man in question turns out to be Torello’s cousin, whom Torello didn’t even recognize because he apparently doesn’t have much of a connection to anyone outside of the police force.)  Towards the end of the episode, there’s a shoot-out in a department store and it’s hard not to notice that neither the crooks nor the cops seem to be all that concerned with the innocent bystanders trying to not get caught in the crossfire.

The pilot is dark, gritty, and, in its way, as stylized as any episode of Miami Vice.  It never seems to stop raining and, even during the day, the skies are permanently gray and dark.  The early 60s are recreated like a fever dream of pop culture, with rock and roll on the soundtrack, cars with tail fins screeching down the street, and Bartoli living in a house that looks more like a tacky diner then a true home.  Torello and his men wear their dark suits and trenchcoats the way that soldiers wear their uniforms.

It’s an effective pilot, though we don’t really get to know much about the men working with Torello at the Major Crimes Unit.  Bill Smitrovich, in the role Detective Danny Krycheck, establishes himself as being Torello’s second-in-command but that’s about it.  Stephen Lang appears in a handful of scenes as David Abrams, a liberal public defender who is the son of a prominent gangster.  Both Luca and Torello seem to want to make David into an alley and the episode hints that he will eventually have to make a choice.  The episode ends with Luca in sunny Florida, meeting with veteran gangster Manny Weisbord (Joseph Wiseman).  Torello, meanwhile, remains in dark Chicago.

The Crime Story pilot was deemed good enough to be released as a feature film in Europe.  It also led to a series on NBC, which I will be reviewing here, every Monday!  On the basis of the pilot, I’m looking forward to it.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 5.7 “The Heart of a Saturday Night”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, Whit Stillman directs a story of pain and tragedy.

Episode 5.7 “The Heart of a Saturday Night”

(Dir by Whit Stillman, originally aired on November 15th, 1995)

The Heart of a Saturday Night is a great episode of Homicide, with the exception of one decision that annoyed the Hell out of me.

It’s an experimental episode.  We watch as the Homicide detectives work three cases — a carjacking the results in the death of a wife and mother, a bar fight at the Waterfront that results in the death of an alcoholic husband, and the assault and murder of a young woman in East Baltimore.  While Bayliss, Giardello, Munch, and Lewis investigate the cases, we see the survivors at a group therapy meeting.  Rosanna Arquette plays the widow of the man killed in the bar fight.  The great Chris Eigeman is the widower of the carjacking victim.  Polly Holliday and Tom Quinn play the parents of the murdered woman.

It’s a bit stagey and talky but it works, largely due to the performances of the guest cast and the intelligent direction of Whit Stillman.  As anyone who has seen any of his films can attest, Stillman is unusually skilled at making conversation compelling.  It’s a powerful episode because it reminds us that while the Homicide detectives are just doing their job, the cases they investigate leave lasting scars on those left behind.  Munch is more concerned with the murder at his bar than the carjacking to which he and Lewis have been assigned but Giardello explains that Munch cannot investigate a crime that occurred at a location that he owns.  Giardello investigated the murder at the bar and one gets the feeling that he largely just wants to get out of the office.  Lewis becomes obsessed with solving the carjacking but we all know eventually he’ll move on because that’s his job.  There’s always going to be another murder.  But for the victim’s husband, life is never going to be the same again.  He’s angry and bitter, especially since he knows the carjackers will probably never be caught.  (At the end of the episode, his wife’s name is the only one still in red on the board,)  His words aren’t always pleasant but he has every right to be angry.  Chris Eigeman’s performance is incredible and heart-breaking.  Even more so than the effective but overwrought Bop Gun, this episode captured the pain of being a survivor.

It’s a powerful episode, up until the the moment that the final member of the therapy group shows up and it turns out to be Dr. Cox.  As good as Michelle Forbes has been in the role, this is the third episode-in-a-row in which Cox suddenly takes center stage.  It’s hard not to feel that the show is demanding that we love Dr. Cox as much as the writers obviously do.  The problem is that this is only Dr. Cox’s third episode.  The constant spotlight on Cox feels hamfisted and a bit premature.  It reminds me of when The Office tried to make us embrace characters like Robert California and Nellie Bertram.  (This is probably the only time in history that The Office and Homicide will ever be compared to each other.)

Other than the awkward inclusion of Dr. Cox at the end, this was a powerful episode.  Homicide took a risk and, for the most part, it paid off.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.19 “Slater’s Friend”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi!

This week, we finish up the first season.

Episode 1.19 “Slater’s Friend”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 28th, 1992)

Who killed Artie?

That’s the question that Zack, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech are left to consider when Slater’s pet chameleon Artie dies.  Slater specifically asked them to take care of Artie while he was out of town.  When Slater returns to Bayside, both Zack and the girls attempt to fool him with a duplicate chameleon because no one on this show ever just tells the truth.  When Slater figures out that Artie is dead, he’s bitter and he’s angry and he even disrupts Coach Rizzo’s (Frankie Como) speech class.  Belding, of all people, emerges as the hero, telling Slater that it’s okay to be sad.  In the end, Artie is given a funeral and the cast sings Artie Boy.

This episode has long had a reputation for being the worst episode of Saved By The Bell.  NBC was so embarrassed by it that they actually didn’t air it until four years after it was filmed.  In his highly-suspect autobiography, Dustin Diamond claimed that everyone was trying not to laugh during the funeral scene.

Well, you know what?  This episode — as silly as it is — kind of works.  If you’ve ever lost a pet, you can relate to Slater’s grief.  And really, Slater having a pet chameleon makes sense when you consider the fact that he spent his entire childhood traveling from one military base to another.  It’s not like he could really own a cat or even a dog under those circumstances.  A lizard on the other hand….

This episode is actually a good example of how good Mario Lopez actually was in the role of A.C. Slater.  When Slater says, “It’s just a dead lizard,” your heart breaks for him.  When he hugs Mr. Belding, you feel Slater’s pain.  Even in an episode that ends with everyone singing a song about a chameleon, Mario Lopez gave it his all.

Worst episode ever?  Not hardly!  We’ve still got the Tori episodes to review, after all.  In fact, my only complaint about this episode is that Coach Rizzo was never brought back.  He was my favorite teacher at Bayside!

Next week, we’ll start season 2!

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.21 “The End?”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we finish off the first season of Baywatch.

Episode 1.21 “The End?”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on April 6th, 1990)

This the end, my only friend, the end….

Earthquake!  The ground shakes in Los Angeles and the result is pure chaos.  While Mitch oversees the rescue operations, Shauni tries to get over her fear of natural disasters, Eddie helps a pregnant woman deliver twins in his lifeguard tower, Gina finds herself pinned under a shelf at the loft, and Craig and Cort are trapped in an underwater cave.  Have none of these people noticed that hanging out with Cort always leads to stuff like this happening?

We see a news report that says that five people died in the earthquake.  Fortunately, none of those people were a character on Baywatch.  (Though, now that I think about it, when was the last time anyone saw Trevor?)  The LAPD dive team saves Cort and Craig.  Hobie helps Gina get out from underneath that shelf.  Eddie and Shauni work together to help deliver those twins and then, as the sun sets behind them, Eddie asks, “Will you marry me?”  Shauni nods as the theme music starts up….

Was this the end?  It was meant to be.  After a season of declining ratings and raising production costs, NBC decided to cancel Baywatch.  I guess the executives figured that, if even a shark attack failed to get people to watch, it was best just to move on.  Baywatch decided to go out with an episode about an earthquake because it was a California show and California is all about the ground moving under your feet.  It actually turned out to be one of the better episodes of the first season, specifically because it focused on lifeguards and other first responders doing their job.  There were no silly plots about gamblers or Mitch’s love life or anything else.  This was Baywatch the way it probably should have been.  But it was too late to keep the show alive on network television.

That said, the Hoff believed in Baywatch and, working with the show’s producers, he brought it back in syndication.  This episode was the end of Baywatch on NBC but it was just the beginning of the show that would go on to epitomize a decade.

We’ll start season 2 next week.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.10 “Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, we get a sequel to a previous episode.

Episode 2.10 “Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?”

(Dir by Bill Froehlich, originally aired on December 10th, 1989)

In this sequel to Bloodlines, an episode that I didn’t particularly care for, Patty Burton (Courtney Gebhart) is still locked up in the basement of the Burton home.  When college student Lisa Wax (Suzanne Tara) comes over to babysit little Will Burton (Christopher Finefrok), she is not happy to learn that there is apparently a crazy woman in the basement. Lisa keeps falling asleep and having nightmares about being dragged into the basement.  Then, she actually is dragged into the basement and Patty, who now looks like Lisa, escapes. By an amazing coincidence, Patty ends up at Lisa’s house, where Lisa’s mom (Sharon Farrell) assumes that Patty is Lisa.  When the real Lisa manages to escape from the basement, she shows up at home and is shot and killed by her own mother.  Patty then returns to her home and exiles her parents (Chris Nash and Jeannine Lewis) to the basement.  The episode ends with Patty approaching Will.

Yikes!

This was a dark episode.  I wouldn’t necessarily say it was scary.  The scenes where Lisa (hey, that’s my name!) hears Patty in the basement are so overdone that they inspired more laughter than chills.  But the idea of someone stealing your identity and then getting your own mother to shoot you because she doesn’t recognize you?  That’s definitely creepy!

As for the ending …. I never liked the Burtons.  I didn’t like them in Bloodlines and I didn’t like them here.  I feel bad for Will but the parents?  They got what they deserved.