Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.4 “Blood Money”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s time to learn a lesson about giving blood.

Episode 2.4 “Blood Money”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

Megan is running the school blood drive but no one wants to give blood.  Mr. Belding tries to teach everyone a lesson by volunteering but he’s informed by nurse Penny Brady (Emma Caulfield) that he has high cholesterol.  Not only does Belding need to start an exercise regimen but he’s apparently too fat to chaperone the school’s hiking trip.

Not wanting the school’s butch gym teacher to chaperone the trip, Brian decides that Screech should be the chaperone.  However, Screech is depressed because he has a crush on Penny but he can’t work up the courage to ask her out.  Brian tells Penny that he’ll get everyone in the school to donate blood if she agrees to go out with Screech….

Ugh.  This is another Screech-is-in-love episode.  Dustin Diamond was nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons but still, watching the previously asexual Screech date someone is not a pleasant experience.  Penny discovers that she actually likes Screech (why?) but then Screech hears that she was bribed to go out with him and he gets his feelings hurt.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HIKING TRIP?

Seriously, screw the hiking trip.  Why is this school always sponsoring a trip somewhere?  Just give people their diplomas and stay out of their lives….

Oh no, Tommy D’s previously unseen best friend was in a motorcycle accident!  And he has a very rare blood type!  Only Screech can save him!  Screech gives blood, everyone apologizes for setting him up, and Screech agrees to chaperone the trip and to continue dating Penny.  I’m going to guess that didn’t last since Screech ended up dating Allison while working at the country club over the summer.

Meanwhile, some poor biker has gallons of Screech inside of him.

What an episode.  The whole problem with the first season is that the students were not very likable.  Now, the show actually has likable students but all of the attention is on Screech.  It’s like this show just wanted to fail!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.3 “Let the Games Begin”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we’re back at the country club.

Episode 2.3 “Let the Games Begin”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

At Pacific Palisades Country Club, it’s time for the annual competition between the members of the club and the staff.  If the staff wins, the members will wait on them for a week!

Really?  I mean, is this a real thing?  Why would any club member agree to that?  If I’m paying good money to belong to a country club, the last thing that I’m ever going to do is wait on the staff.  I don’t care who wins the stupid competition.

It turns out that Screech is a very good golf player, which becomes an important plot point when the games end in a tie.  The tie-breaker is a golf game between country club owner Big Ed and Screech.  Big Ed tells Screech to either take a dive or stop dating his daughter, Allison.  In the end, Screech can’t betray his fellow workers but Allison doesn’t care.  She decides who she dates, not Big Ed.

Also, Tommy D learns how to swim (yay, good for him!) and Rachel says she’s going to quit her job when she learns her boyfriend won’t be coming home for the summer.  (Her boyfriend was a member of the club and Rachel only took the job so she could spend time with him.)  Brian, not wanting Rachel to quit, starts to send her poems that she believes are being written by her boyfriend.  Rachel eventually learns the truth but she’s not offended at all.  Of course, she isn’t.  Just look at Brian’s apologetic smile!

This episode …. listen, let’s give credit where credit is due.  Christian Oliver and Sarah Lancaster?  They were cute together.  As far as fake Zacks go, Christian Oliver was one of the better ones.  And Jonathan Angel gave a likably earnest performance in the scenes where Tommy learned to swim.  Unfortunately, this episode featured way too much Screech.  Though Dustin Diamond is nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons, he’s still way too cartoonish to be taken seriously as anyone’s boyfriend.

Seriously, can you imagine buying a country club membership and then having to wait on Screech?

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.2 “All Work No Play”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, the Gang gets a summer job!  Why would anyone want to work during the summer?  What a bunch of losers.

Episode 2.2 “All Work And No Play”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 10th, 1994)

It’s summer time!  (During its second season, Saved By The Bell: The New Class aired two episodes each Saturday morning.  One episode would be a high school episode while the other would feature the Gang off-campus.)  Mr. Belding has been hired to manage the Palisade Hills Country Club.  The first mistake that Belding makes is that he hires Screech to be his assistant.  Then he allows Screech to hire Brian, Bobby, Tommy, Rachel, Megan, and Lindsay as his staff.

Thinks quickly go downhill.

  1. While trying to show-off for Rachel, Brian attempts to drive a golf cart with his feet.  (“This is how I steered snowmobile in Switzerland,” Brian says.)
  2. Assigned to wash and wax the car belonging to club owner Ed Harrington (Frank Bonner), Tommy D and Lindsay instead take the car for a joyride, which leads to Brian denting it with the golf cart.
  3. The car has a dent and the paint job is scuffed. Tommy works out the dent and then repaints the car with Rachel’s nail polish.  To help the polish dry, Tommy and Brian remove the car’s front panel, take it to the country’s club’s kitchen. and unplug the freezer so that they can instead plug in a huge fan.
  4. Whoops!  They forget to plug the freezer back in and $4,000 worth of food goes bad.
  5. Bobby can’t drive but still tries to cover valet parking.
  6. Screech is too busy falling in love with Ed’s daughter, Allison (Clare Slastrom), to be of any help.

Mr. Belding does the right thing and fires all of them.  But then the Gang decides to throw a Luau for the club’s members (instead of the county and western barbecue that was originally planned) and it’s such a hit that Belding hires them back.

Seriously, what the Hell?  Yes, the Gang saved the day but they only had to save it because they were so grotesquely immature and irresponsible in the first place.  This was one of the worst recurring plotlines to appear on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.  Someone would get a new job, they would totally screw it up, they would get fired, and then they would get rehired just because they felt bad after the fact.  Personally, I think that if you steal a car, destroy a golf cart, and cause $4,000 worth of meat to go bad, you should be fired.  I don’t care if you then put on a hula skirt and play a ukulele and and put on a little Hawaiian performance on a sweltering day in the middle of the desert.  You’re fired.

GO HOME!

This episode annoyed the Hell out of me.  I can accept a lot from this show but what I can’t accept is a plot where every complication could have been avoided by everyone not being a massive dumbass.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.1 “The Return of Screech”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we start the 2nd season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class!

Episode 2.1 “The Return of Screech”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 10th, 1994)

After the disappointing reviews and ratings of the first season, Saved By The Bell: The New Class rebooted itself for the second season.  Robert Sutherland Telfer, Isaac Lidsky, and Bonnie Russavage were all fired and the characters of Scott, Weasel, and Vicky were dropped from the show. (No mention was ever made of where they had gone.  They just vanished.)

Suddenly, Megan and Lindsay’s best friend was Rachel Meyers (played by Sarah Lancaster, who appeared once during the first season).  Meanwhile, Swiss exchange student Brian Keller (played by a German actor named Christian Oliver) became the new head schemer while Bobby Wilson (Spankee Rodgers) became the new annoying sidekick with a crush on Megan.  From the start of the second season, everyone acted as if Brian and Bobby had always been there.  As for Lindsay and Tommy D, they continued to date.  And because Brian had a crush on Rachel, there was no longer anyone around trying to break the two of them up.

Mr. Belding was still the principal but now, he had a much bigger office with a window.  He also got a new administrative assistant, an education major who was on a work/study program with Cal U.  As you probably already guessed from this episode’s title, that administrative assistant turned out to be Screech Powers (Dustin Diamond).

Now, to give credit where credit is due, neither Screech nor Diamond are quite as annoying in this episode as they would eventually become.  By the end of the series, Diamond was giving such a broad performance as Screech that it almost came across as being deliberately self-destructive.  In this episode, though, Diamond just plays Screech as being overly earnest and too eager to please.  He may get on everyone’s nerves but at least he’s not doing the weird voices or the twisted facial expressions that would later come to typify his performance.

As for the plot of this episode, it’s dumb.  Rachel needs $700 so she can replace the jacket that she borrowed (without permission) from her mother.  Brian throws a party and sells tickets to help her raise the cash but when it turns out that Bobby’s house is not available for the party, Brian tricks Screech into unlocking the gym and allowing the party to be held in there.  When Belding shows up and demands to know what’s happening, Screech takes the blame and decides that he should return to Cal U.  And, really, he probably should have.  I mean, after all the years he spent with Zack, Screech should have been able to see that he was being manipulated.  What a moron.

But Brian does the right thing and tells the truth to Belding.  Brian and the Gang all get two-weeks detention.  Belding tells Screech that the students respect him and that he taught them an important lesson about the telling the truth.  I’m not sure how accurate any of that is but the important thing is that Screech stays at Bayside.

This episode was actually not as bad as I was expecting it to be.  Brian is a bit more likable than the first season’s Scott and this episode didn’t feature any of the mean-spiritedness that seemed to typify so much of the first season.  Even Screech was tolerable!

Don’t get used to it, though.  The season’s just getting started.