Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.9 “Jessie’s Song”

Posted on July 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Jessie’s so excited!

Episode 2.9 “Jessie’s Song”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 3rd, 1990)

This is it. This is the episode of Saved By The Bell that everyone knows.

Jessie gets hooked on caffeine pills!

“I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so …. SCARED!”

Along with Running Zack, this is the episode that the show will never live down. In a 2o16 interview, Peter Engel stated that the script originally had Jessie getting hooked on amphetamines but NBC said they wouldn’t air the show if there were any references to “hard drugs.” The script was changed to have Jessie get hooked on over-the-counter caffeine pills.

I’m not sure the episode would have played any better if it had featured amphetamines. When I was younger, there were times when I accidentally took more of my ADHD meds than I should have and my behavior was nothing like Jessie’s in this episode. The scene where Jessie starts yelling in the Maxx about how she and Kelly and the show’s Lisa are going to beat out their competition for a record contract can only lead me to conclude that absolutely no one on the show had ever taken speed at any point in their life.

That’s the thing that makes this episode so memorable, though. Everyone remembers Zack waking up Jessie and Jessie screaming, “I’m so excited!” It’s a cringey moment but, honestly, the entire episode is a cringey moment. The only thing about his episode that feels in any way authentic is Mario Lopez’s performance as Slater.

(Seriously, Lopez was this show’s secret weapon. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Tiffani Thiessen, Elizabeth Berkley, and Lark Voorhies eventually developed into good actors towards the end of the show. Out of respect for the deceased, I won’t comment on Dustin Diamond’s talents. But Mario Lopez was strong and believable from the start of the series.)

How cringey is this episode?

Screech puts on a dress and a wig and speaks with a bad Irish accent and all of the girls in the locker room believe him when he says that he’s related to Sinead O’Connor. “You taught her everything she knows!?” the show’s Lisa exclaims.

Zack is somehow able to produce, in just one day, a professional music video for Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa’s group, Hot Sundae.

That music video — oh God, the music video! It couldn’t be more 80s if it tried. The girls dance while wearing workout outfits and singing. Who wrote the song that they’re singing? Did Zack come up with it? To be honest, the video’s not that bad. It just feels extremely …. suburban. Would there have been room for Hot Sundae in 1990? Probably not. I doubt MTV was going to switch to a grunge, rap, and Hot Sundae format.

What about Jessie’s fantasy about having to go to a party school? Actually, that made me laugh. I went to a party school and I had fun. Plus, Mr. Dewey says “Cowabunga.” Still, as a general rule, any Saved By The Bell fantasy sequence automatically qualifies as cringe.

But, in the end, this will always be the “I’m so excited!” episode. Poor Elizabeth Berkley is probably so sick of people quoting that line to her. In his dubious autobiography, Dustin Diamond poked fun at his co-stars for thinking they were all giving great performances in this episode. As was often the case with Diamond, this judgment says more about his flaws than those of his co-stars. Of course the actors though they were all giving great performances. They were teenagers! They had an excuse for not knowing better. The adults, however….

In the end, Hot Sundae misses its chance for stardom because of Jessie’s freakout. It’s a good thing they’ve all got Zack Attack to fall back on.

I love this episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.9 “Cutting Edge”

Posted on July 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, TC goes surfing!

Episode 4.9 “Cutting Edge”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on October 18th, 1998)

When an up-and-coming surfer named Kenny Slaughter (Reed Ferichs) is pressured by a corrupt surf board salesman named Rip Cutter (Matt Battaglia), TC befriends Kenny. He and Kenny go surfing. They discuss the philosophy of catching a great wave. “Are you sure you’re a cop?” Kenny asks.

Uhmm, Kenny …. are you kidding? TC is the most uptight guy on the beach. Everything about him screams “cop.”

This episode is an example of something that happened quite frequently with Pacific Blue. One of the bike cops would befriend someone and the viewer would be left to wonder how that could have possibly happened. Friendship usually requires a modicum of likability and that’s something that no one on this show seems to have. Whether it’s Chris saying, “Just doing my job,” after nearly running someone down with her bicycle or Cory rolling her eyes every time that she has to deal with anyone younger than her, there are literally no likable bike cops. Even this episode features Cory complaining about the attitude that Kenny gave her when she arrested him while he and Rip were having a fight on the beach. It’s hard not to notice that almost every episode features Cory complaining about someone’s attitude. It’s a bit of a cliche but it’s true. If everyone you meet is a jerk, that means that you’re the jerk.

TC assigns Monica to work undercover in Rip’s surf shop. This means that Monica has to frequently come over to TC’s apartment to give him updates. Because TC can’t tell anyone that Monica is working undercover, Chris gets suspicious about why Monica is always coming over. Chris and Cory being paranoid about Monica has been going on for nine episodes now and I think that, narratively, it might be a good idea to just move on from it. It wasn’t that interesting to begin with and, at this point, Chris and Cory are just coming across as being overage mean girls.

Anyway, this episode actually felt like an abandoned Baywatch storyline. TC’s no surfer.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.8 “Miss Bayside”

Posted on June 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Screech is a pawn yet again.

Episode 2.8 “Miss Bayside”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 27th, 1990)

It’s time for the annnual Miss Bayside pageant!

Jessie considers Miss Bayside to be sexist and she tries to organize a boycott. Lisa says “No way.” She wants to be Miss Bayside. Lisa enters and so does Kelly because Kelly’s family is poor and she could really use the extra money that comes from being a beauty queen. Finally, Jessie goes against her pledge not to compete and enters because she wants to teach everyone about inner beauty.

Zack bets Slater that he can make anyone into the next Miss Bayside. Slater takes the bet on the condition that he get to pick the person. And, of course, Slater picks Screech….

Oh, this episode. When I talk about Dustin Diamond being too young to be on this show, this is the sort of epiosde that I’m talking about. While Lisa, Jessie, Kelly, and eventually Slater all come across as being confident and happy while competing for the title of Miss Bayside, Screech looks awkward, embarrassed, and almost troll-like. I’m not even a Screech fan (or a Dustin Diamond fan for that matter, God rest his soul) but even I felt bad for him when he walked out on stage in a 1920s-style bathing suit. While everyone else on the episode was obviously closer to adulthood than childhood (i.e. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani Thiessen were both 16, and Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez were both 17), Dustin Diamond was 13 and looked even younger. That gives this entire episode a bit of an icky feel.

Screech does win the pageant. He wins because his robot, Kevin, accidentally gives him a black eye and Zack tells everyone that Slater did it. Screech gets the sympathy vote. Sorry, Lisa. Your dreams don’t matter. Sorry, Kelly. I guess you’re never going to be able to afford college. The importnat thing is that Screech won something that is definitely not going to lead to him being taunted later in life.

Other than Screech’s victory, this episode is remembered for two things. First, Slater absolutely kills it when he plays the drums during the talent competition. Secondly, Mr. Belding sings the Miss Bayside song. Isn’t she he lovely/not even a girl…. It must be said that, judging from this episode, Belding has a terrible singing voice but at least he tries.

Slater should have been Miss Bayside. We all know it.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.8 “Heat In The Hole”

Posted on June 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Chris is finally sent to prison.

Episode 4.8 “Heat In The Hole”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on October 11th, 1998)

This is the dumbest episode of Pacific Blue yet and that’s really saying something.

The incarcerated are being murdered at the local women’s prison so, of course, a bicycle cop is sent in undercover. Actually, two bicycle cops are sent in. The homicide squad wants Chris to go in and pretend to be a prisoner. TC gets jealous of the hunky homicide detective who is in charge of the case so he assigns Bobby to go undercover as a prison guard and keep an eye on Chris.

This is one of those women’s prisons where everyone is young and attractive (no meth addicts here!) and apparently the official uniform is a tank top. It doesn’t take long for Chris to establish herself as being tough and willing to fight. Every prisoner comes to respect her, which is important because, when a riot breaks out, Chris reveals she’s a cop and that she needs the help of the prisoners.

And the prisoners are cool with that.

Seriously.

“Ignore the cop part,” someone says, “Think of how she’s treated us!”

That’s the power of being a bicycle cop. You can show up in a prison, beat people up for two days, betray everyone’s confidence, and the prisoners will still forgive you for …. reasons, I guess.

Needless to say, if you’re an undercover cop in prison, do not reveal the truth in the middle of a prison riot. That might work on Pacific Blue but it’s probably the dumbest thing you can do in real life.

While TC is sitting around at home worried, Monica sees this as her chance to make a move on him. Considering that TC and Chris haven’t stopped arguing since they impulsively got married in Vegas, maybe Monica isn’t really the problem here. I know that we’re supposed to be rooting for TC and Chris but neither one of them is particularly likable. I would not want to go out on a couples date with them.

At the end of this episode, two corrupt prison guards are arrested. Chris leaves the prison. TC pretends to be happy about it.

This was a dumb episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.7 “Rent-A-Pop”

Posted on June 20, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we meet two new characters.

Episode 2.7 “Rent-A-Pop”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 20th, 1990)

Remember how, in Junior High, Zack’s parents were divorced and his father was played by Robert Pine, the captain from CHiPs? His father even dated Ms. Bliss at one point. The relationship didn’t last because Zack, as usual, ruined everything by being a trouble maker. Add to that, Ms. Bliss was her usual condescending self….

Well, forget about all that.

Zack lives in California now and his parents are still together. His father, Derek Morris (John Sanderford), is now a computer salesman who played a little baseball in college and who is always on his big mobile phone. When Zack tries to tell Derek about how he’s struggling in school, Derek waves him off so that he can take a business call.

Zack has a problem. He wants to go on the class ski trip. However, he’s failing all of his classes and Belding wants to see his father. Luckily, the Max’s new waiter, James (Mark Blankfield), just happens to be an unemployed actor who has nothing better to do than help out a bunch of teenagers who are about 30 years younger than him. Zack’s plan is for James to pretend to be Mr. Belding and to assure Zack’s father that Zack is doing well in school. Then, James will switch and pretend to be Zack’s father for the official meeting with Belding. Does all that sound way too complicated? Well, it is. Zack never came up with a plan that wasn’t ludicrously complicated. In this case, it involves faking a Chess Club poisoning so that Belding won’t be in his office when Derek arrives.

Meanwhile, there’s a school carnival going on in the gym. Oh no! Look over at the dunk tank! There’s the real Derek Morris getting ready to throw baseballs at the real Mr. Belding!

“Who is this jerk?” Derek asks after dunking Mr. Belding.

Mr. Belding introduces himself. Derek learns the truth. Zack is grounded but Derek learns an important lesson about spending too much time on the phone.

I have to admit that this episode is a favorite of mine. That’s largely due to the performances of Mark Blankfield and John Sanderford, both of whom are now deceased. (Sanderford passed in 2023 and Blankfield in 2024.) Both actors bring some much needed new energy to the show. Blankfield’s performance is broad but funny. Sanderford’s performance, quite appropriately, is a bit more grounded in reality. My favorite moment in this episode is when Derek Morris notices Mr. Belding’s computer and announces, “I sell these,” before then asking James a lot of questions about it. James’s confusion was perfectly played by Mark Blankfield and it was impossible not to smile about how enthusiastic Derek got about potentially making a sale. Even at a meeting to discuss his son’s academic record, Derek was always looking for an opportunity. That’s the sign of a great salesman and a potentially lousy father.

Both Derek Morris and James the Actor would return and why not? This episode provided them with a great introduction.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.7 “Damaged Goods”

Posted on June 16, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bike cops are it again.

Episode 4.7 “Damaged Goods”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on October 4th, 1998)

Bobby has a new girlfriend named Annie (Tracy Hutson). Bobby says that he’s in love with her. Meanwhile, Granger is in lust with Annie’s best friend, Jo (Shannon Elizabeth, in an early role). After Granger sleeps with Jo, Jo tells him that he owes her $200. It turns out that both Jo and Annie get paid to have sex. Meanwhile, Annie’s roommate is found dead below a 6-story window.

Chris is convinced that Annie’s roommate was murdered. TC and Cory disagree. TC is especially angry because he thinks Chris is spending too much time hanging out with her friends in Homicide. Oddly enough, none of those friends show up in this episode. As well. no one from the Vice Squad shows up to investigate the campus prostitution ring. Instead, this is yet another episode where it somehow all falls to the bicycle cops.

Monica goes undercover and joins Jo and Annie’s therapy group, where Dr. Alicia Alper (Joyce Hyser) teaches that prostitution is empowering. Soon, Jo recruits Monica to work as a an escort. Or, at least, I think it was Jo. This episode is edited in such a haphazard way that it was hard to keep track of what was actually going on.

This episode finds Cory worrying about how she’s going to survive as a single mom. Her ex-boyfriend, Doug (Owen McKibben), returns and says that he wants to be in the baby’s life. Cory says that it’s been over a month since Doug reacted to the news of her pregnancy by walking out on her. Doug threatens to sue for the right to be a part of the baby’s life. Cory has a miscarriage. She says it was due to the stress Doug put her under. Doug says that it was due to Cory still working a very physically demanding and rough job despite being pregnant. I felt so bad for Cory in this episode, especially since the only person (other than Doug) who bothered to visit her in the hospital was Chris, who is pretty much incapable of feeling or showing emotion.

Anyway, it turns out that Annie’s roommate was murdered by a client and then the client was murdered by Dr. Alper. However, when the bike cops arrest her, several other woman all walk up and declares that Dr. Alper is innocent because they killed the client. However, Dr. Alper confesses. Bobby breaks up with his girlfriend. That’s probably for the best. Everyone knows Bobby should be with Monica.

This episode …. oh God. I mean, it tried to liven things up a little. There were a lot of intense interrogation scenes and a lot of jump cuts that were apparently meant to create tension. We would watch Chris ask a question and then jump to someone in a totally different room answering an unrelated question. It was very showy but it wasn’t very effective. These folks aren’t hard-boiled detectives. They’re bicycle cops.

Seriously, where were the real detectives?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.6 “Blind Dates”

Posted on June 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mr. Belding is desperately trying to find someone to date his niece. Meanwhile, Zack is trying to avoid being suspended….

Episode 2.6 “Blind Dates”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 13th, 1990)

Mr. Belding needs someone to go on a blind date with his niece Penny but every guy at the school screams in horror at the idea. However, Zack has just received his tenth detention and is facing the prospect of being suspended for a week. Belding makes Zack an offer that he can’t refuse. If Zack goes on a date with Penny, he won’t be suspended. This sounds like the type of thing that could get Belding fired but instead, Zack agrees to go on the date….

Except Zack already has plans for that night! Kelly is having her birthday party at the Max!

Zack’s solution? Put a blonde wig on Screech and have him take Penny on the date.

I notice that Zack’s solutions always seem to involve Screech pretending to be someone other than Screech. Penny (Jodi Peterson) turns out to be a totally normal girl and she has a great time with Screech when they go to …. Kelly’s birthday party! Of course, Penny thinks Screech is Zack and that Zack is Screech and just writing all of this is making my head hurt. When Kelly finds out that Penny is planning on going home with “Zack,” Kelly calls her “an un-nice person,” which is a pretty neat turn of phrase. But then Kelly learns the truth and, to Slater’s chagrin, Kelly falls even more in love with Zack.

Meanwhile, Jessie freaks out because her blind date, Brett (Timothy Williams), is several inches shorter than her. I have to say that Jessie’s recurring insecurity about being tall was one of the few things that Saved By The Bell consistently handled well. (It certainly handled it better than her later caffeine pill addiction.) Brett was adorable and it was kind of sweet that he eventually won Jessie over just by being a really cool guy.

Jessie’s storyline aside, this is the type of Saved By The Bell episode that drives me crazy. Most of the conflict — actually, all of the conflict — could have been avoided by everyone just not being an idiot. It’s hard to believe that Zack couldn’t come up with a solution to his problems that didn’t involve putting a blonde wig on Screech. I get that Belding was desperate to find a date for Penny but the idea that he would turn to Zack, even under the most extreme of circumstances, seemed like a reach.

Probably the funniest moment in this episode was when Zack learned he had received his tenth detention and everyone in the studio audience groaned. Don’t worry, folks. Zack will be okay!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.6 “Silver Dollar”

Posted on June 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, gamblers are causing trouble on campus! It’s time to send in an undercover bike cop!

Episode 4.6 “Silver Dollar”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on August 30th, 1998)

At the local college, a bookie is trying to fix games and having his henchwoman beat up the students and the teachers who owe him money. The funny thing about the bookie’s enforcer is that she wears all black and a translucent top and she is constantly kicking people in the face but no one ever seems to notice her. I mean, I can still remember how, during the fourth season of The Wire, Wee-Bey Bice got angry at his son Namond for having a different haircut from all the other members of his crew. Wee-Bey said that you never want to give the police an easy way to spot you in a lineup and that really does make sense. I get the feeling that Pacific Blue might not be as realistic as The Wire was.

Anyway, this is yet another episode where a bike cop goes undercover. This time, recovering gambler Russ is sent undercover to take down the bookies and he’s given $500 of the department’s money to play with. This seems like a terrible idea. Cory eventually figures out that it’s a terrible idea and she spends the entire episode randomly showing up and yelling at Russ about his attitude. Eventually, Cory gets so mad that she beats Russ up. “That was so badass!” Russ says and it was kind of. That said, I do have to wonder about the fact that all of the members of Pacific Blue really do seem to hate each other. They’re always getting into fights or yelling at each other. It takes a lot of charisma to pull off the whole “renegade who does things his way” schtick and, as a character, Russ really doesn’t have it. Unfortunately, Cory doesn’t really have the charisma to pull off the “boss who demands results” thing eitehr.

My point is that this was a boring episode, Russ is a boring character. His roommate, Jamie, is even more boring. The whole subplot about Russ having a lucky silver dollar felt idiotic. For all the time that was spent on Russ trying not to blow his cover, it’s debatable whether or not his police work really had that much to do with taking down the bad guys. Instead, Cory just showed up and beat everyone up. That’s one way to get results. And it actually makes a lot more sense than assigning a bike cop to work undercover.

Why are bike cops going undercover? Aren’t they just supposed to be handing out tickets? On a good day, it appears that there are only seven members of the bike patrol so can they really afford for one of them to go a week without riding his bike? Seriously, is this any way to keep Los Angeles safe?

None of this would happen if Spencer Pratt was mayor.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.5 “House Party”

Posted on May 30, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Screech’s parents are gone. It’s time to party like Elvis!

Episode 2.5 “House Party”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 6th, 1990)

Mrs. Powers (Ruth Buzzi) and her husband go to Graceland for their anniversary, leaving Screech alone for a few days. It’s time to have the boys over so that they can lip-sync to the Beach Boys! Unfortunately, when the girls come over to laugh at the boys, a bust of Elvis is shattered. It’ll cost $250 to replace! Despite the fact that all of the main characters — with the exception of Kelly and Slater — come from wealthy families, everyone claims to not have any money. You know who does have money? Max Nerdstrom (Jeff Asch)! Max also has a girlfriend named Violet (Tori Spelling), who has a crush on Screech. (Or Samuel, as she calls him.)

This is an important episode in the history of Saved By The Bell, in that it not only introduces us to Violet Bickerstaff but it also establishes that Tori Spelling was bad actress even before she was cast on 90210. (If anything, Spelling is actually better-cast as Violet than as Donna Martin because Violet was at least supposed to be awkward and cringey.) This episode also introduced us to Max Nerdstrom, a great character who only appeared once but who should have been a regular member of the cast. That said, it’s also obvious that the only reason this episode was made was so Slater, Screech, and Zack could do the Barbara Ann scene. It’s all pretty obviously ripped off from Risky Business, just without the prostitutes and Tangerine Dream soundtrack.

How to raise the money to replace the statue? Zack challenged Max to a poker game and ends up losing not only another $250 but also the Powers family dog. If Zack had $250 to lose in a poker game, how come he didn’t have it to buy a new Elvis? Seriously, don’t try to follow Bayside logic. Jessie has to go on a date with Max in order to get the dog bac and Zack throws a party to raise money for the new statue. Mrs. Powers arrives home early and announces that she told Screech that he wasn’t allowed to throw any parties. Zack announces that it’s a surprise anniversary party for Mrs. Powers and her husband (who is apparently just sitting out in the car while all this is going on). Why would a bunch of teenagers throw an anniversary party for a 50-something Elvis fan?

Bayside logic, baby!

It still a cute episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.5 “Overkill”

Posted on May 26, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time for another stupid trip to L.A.

Episode 4.5 “Overkill”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on August 23rd, 1998)

Jamie is learning martial arts from Master Soo Han (Yoshi Jenkins). When she is saved from a group of muggers by a fellow classmate named Kyle (Matty Liu), she starts to fall in love with him. Soon, he is teaching her how to be a better fighter. For some reason, Jamie doesn’t tell Kyle that she’s a cop. That makes things awkward when Kyle realizes that 1) the man who killed his mother is a student in the class and 2) Kyle is being groomed to be a government assassin.

I’ve always said that you can tell when a show has cast a professional athlete in a guest role because the athlete is always the worst actor in the episode. That was certainly the case here. At first, I was sure that Matty Liu was a professional martial artist. It turns out that he’s actually a pro surfer but still, my point stands. It doesn’t matter how many camera tricks or jump cuts the show uses to make Liu look like a badass, he’s still an amazingly stiff actor. The scenes of him and Jamie falling in love don’t work because he’s not capable of showing any emotion, let alone love.

Speaking of love, Chris is still mad that her husband didn’t select her to be promoted to sergeant. When she discovers a murder victim, she impresses Homicide Detective Thomas (Carl T. Evans) by figuring out that the victim died from a — wait for it — broken neck. WOW! Amazing deduction, Chris! I mean, how difficult is it to spot a broken neck? Even though Chris is neither a medical examiner nor a detective, Thomas invites her to fill in for a sick Homicide detective. Chris accepts.

TC’s not happy about that! Actually, TC’s never happy. He’s been in charge of Pacific Blue for five episodes now and he hasn’t smiled once. He has spent a lot of time glaring. In fact, both he and Cory spend most of their time glaring at other people now. I guess that’s what you do when you’re in charge, management by glaring.

Finally, Bobby and Spazz compete over — wait a minute, I got a name wrong there. What is Spazz’s real name? Is it Granger? Yeah, okay, sorry about that. Bobby and Granger serve as body guards for a French actress (Lydie Denier), who claims that she’s being stalked. Bobby has seen all of her films but she’s more attracted to Spazz, for some reason. Sorry, Bobby! I would have picked you.

Anyway, this was one of Pacific Blue’s dumbest episodes yet. Chris is even more whiny than usual. TC and Cory are useless. Jamie and Kyle’s fight scenes are edited in such a way that one gets dizzy trying to follow them. This episode featured bad acting and worst direction, No wonder Chris wants to transfer to Homicide.