Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.5 “Silicon Valley of the Dolls”

Posted on November 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Who cares?

Episode 5.5 “Silicon Valley of the Dolls”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 15th, 1999)

In order to finance plastic surgery for their girlfriends, teenage boys are stealing cars and burglarizing homes. Plastic surgeon Barry Brockwood (Scott Bryce) has built a successful practice by performing surgery on teenagers but, when one of them dies during the procedure, he dumps her body on the beach and tries to make it appear as if she fell victim to a serial killer. Granger and Monica go undercover — *sigh* this again! — as high school students while Cory goes undercover as the new sex education teacher.

I’m glad I’m on the final season of this show because I’m running out of ways to say that it sucks. For what seems like the hundredth time, I will point out that these people are supposed to be BICYCLE COPS! Why are they constantly going undercover? Add to that, Granger and Monica have gone undercover as teenagers so many times that you would expect that every juvenile criminal in California would recognize them by now. This episode ends with the cops arresting the plastic surgeon and then joking about how he’s going to get raped in prison.

On the plus side, Scott Bryce was always an entertainingly unhinged villain. He gave it his all in this episode and the show really didn’t deserve it,

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.13 “S.A.T.s”

Posted on November 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Jessie has yet another breakdown.

Episode 3.13 “S.A.T.s”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 16th, 1991)

Everyone takes the “most important test of your lives!” Yes, it’s time for the S.A.T. Slater scores a 1050. Kelly scores an 1100. Lisa Turtle scores an 1120. Screech gets a 1220. Zack scores a 1502, somehow. (“The test measures how much you know,” Kelly says, “not how much you study.” Ummm .… yeah, that’s kind of true, and that’s actually the reason why I did well on the S.A.T.s when I took them, but it doesn’t explain a score that high.) Jessie, thinking that if Zack got a 1502 then she must have gotten a 1600, is shocked to discover that she only scored a 1205. Wow, that’s less than Screech! Jessie, you never should have stopped taking those pills!

When Stansbury, Jessie’s dream school, tries to recruit Zack and offers Slater a football scholarship, Jessie has a breakdown. The Gang decides that the best way to help Jessie is to get James the Actor (Mark Blankfield) to pretend to be a recruiter from Harvard who has come to the school specifically to meet with Jessie. The Stansbury recruiter is impressed, but Jessie is offended when she realizes that Stansbury only wants her because it thinks Harvard wants her. Jessie announces that she no longer wants to go to Stansbury, and Slater turns down the football scholarship… which makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, Stansbury is probably a pretty big deal. If you can get in, do it. That’s especially true in Slater’s case. He’s only scored a 1050 on his SAT.

Meanwhile, James the Actor then meets with Belding and, while pretending to be a representative of the College Board, tells him to stop giving Zack so much homework. Belding does not recognize James as being the guy who, just a year ago, pretended to be Zack’s father.

This episode is yet another that seems to be about punishing Jessie for having ambition. I mean, personally, I think she’s going to regret spending her high school years studying and worrying about her grades. Have fun and go to a party school. That’s what I did, and my life turned out fine. That said, it’s always a little weird to me how much joy Saved By The Bell sometimes took in destroying Jessie’s dreams.

I believe that was Mark Blankfield’s final time to play James the Actor on Saved By The Bell. He did return for two episodes of The New Class. Belding never did figure out who he was. Belding definitely did not go to Stansbury.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.4 “Blue Hawaii: Part Two”

Posted on November 3, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things wrap up in Hawaii.

Episode 5.4 “Blue Hawaii: Part Two”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on August 8th, 1999)

In Hawaii, the California bike cops and the Hawaiian anti-drug task force decide to work together to get revenge for the death of Officer Peter Cho. “For Peter,” the bike cops say, obviously moved by the death of someone who they barely knew. They decide that the best way to take down drug dealer Michael Shane (Shawn Michaels) is with an undercover operation. Of course, the last time they tried to take down Shane with an undercover operation, Peter got shot. I swear, these idiots never learn anything. They’re kind of like the people in Michigan who are incapable of understanding that a senatorial candidate who spends the majority of his time voluntarily hanging out with anti-Semites is probably a rabid anti-Semite himself.

Luckily, Shane doesn’t learn anything either. When Cory presents herself as being a former bank employee who can hack into a bank and steal a lot of money, Shane falls for it. Or, at least, he does for a few minutes. Eventually, he figures out what’s going on and, after a tense standoff with the other cops, he makes a run for it. In one of the dumbest scenes I have ever seen, TC borrows a stranger’s bicycle so he can pedal it through the hotel while chasing Shane. I mean, I get that this is a show about bicycle cops but I’m starting to feel that TC uses bicycles the way that some people use a security blanket.

While that’s going on, Bobby considers staying in Hawaii with Claire (Kristanna Loken) but eventually, he decides not to because I imagine the only reason people were watching this show in 1999 was to see Mario Lopez chase after the bad guys. Just as with last week’s episode, this was clearly meant to be a pilot for a series that would have followed the Hawaiian cops. (Baywatch relocated to Hawaii around the same time.) As such, it’s not like Claire could have followed Bobby to California. So, I guess Bobby and Claire are done.

There is one odd moment where Bobby and Claire are talking about the undercover operation that got their colleague Peter killed. Bobby says that all he could think about was that, if anything happened to Claire, he’d never forgive himself. Claire says she was thinking the same thing about Bobby. Umm, hello? Peter’s dead! Remember all of that “For Peter” nonsense? I swear, bicyclists are so self-centered.

There’s another moment where TC gets a call from Monica, who is still in California. She informs him that there’s a guy running for mayor who says he’s going to eliminate the bicycle patrol because it’s a waste of money. I want to vote for him!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.25 and 2.26 “Goodbye Bayside”

Posted on November 3, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.

This week, season 2 comes to a close with a two-part epiosde!

Episode 2.25 and 2.26 “Goodbye Bayside”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 31st, 1994)

“Kids can make a difference!” is the message of the second season finale of Saved by the Bell: The New Class, and technically that is true. Right now, as I write this, a bunch of young people in Michigan are casting their first-ever vote for a 4’8″ anti-Semitic weasel. The kids can make a difference, but maybe they shouldn’t, because kids are stupid.

Luckily, the kids attending Bayside in 1994 weren’t spending all of their time listening to Nazi-adjacent Twitch streamers. When they said they wanted to make a difference, all they meant was that they wanted to save their school from J. Walter McMillan (Victor Brandt), the real estate tycoon who spent five million dollars to purchase the school from the school board. McMillan is planning on having the school torn down, and he’s even planning on doing it before prom! Mr. Belding is losing his job. Screech is going to have to do his work-study at another school. Megan will be going to private school, which would actually probably increase her chances of getting into a good college — so yay, Megan! Meanwhile, Bobby, Brian, and Lindsay will be transferring to Lincoln High. (Given that Brian is supposedly a foreign-exchange student, shouldn’t he be going back to Switzerland at some point?) Rachel and Tommy D are going to Valley. “I don’t talk to people from Valley!” Tommy says. “Now I can’t even talk to myself!”

(Oh, Jonathan Angel. So often your performance as Tommy D was the sole pleasure to be found on this show.)

The kids decide it’s time to protest! It’s also apparently time for Screech to pretend to be an attorney so he can sabotage the deal. (I guess James the Actor finally realized it was kind of dumb to spend all of his time hanging out with a bunch of stupid high school kids.) This is what drives me crazy about Saved by the Bell: The New Class. There is no reason to believe that Screech could successfully pretend to be a lawyer. But that’s what the Gang goes with! Screech introduces himself to the School Board as “I.M. Slick, attorney,” and no one notices that he looks and sounds exactly like Belding’s assistant. Then Screech introduces himself to McMillan as “I.M. Slicker, attorney,” and it doesn’t occur to the very wealthy and very connected McMillan that he’s never heard of this guy before. Mr. Belding eventually discovers what Screech is up to and he puts a stop to it.

However, Mr. Belding doesn’t say anything when Rachel pretends to be the school nurse and tells McMillan that the entire school is under quarantine due to a measles outbreak. McMillan says that he’ll hold off on demolishing the school until the measles outbreak has ended. To me, it seems like the perfect time to demolish the school would be during a measles outbreak, but what do I know. Belding and the kids discover that McMillan went to Bayside in the ’50s, so they decide to throw a 1950s prom to try to convince McMillan to spare the school. Belding and Screech both dress up as Elvis.

McMillan comes to the prom but he’s not impressed — and really, why should he be? Slater (Mario Lopez) and Lisa Turtle (Lark Voorhies) both suddenly walk into the gym and demand that McMillan not tear down the school. The audience goes wild. Then Sandy Bennett (Aileen Fitzpatrick) shows up. Sandy was once the girl on whom teenage McMillan had a crush. Seeing Sandy is enough to get McMillan to change his mind about a five-million-dollar business deal. Sandy says that her nephew insisted that she had to save Bayside. Who is her nephew? A long-haired Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) steps into the gym and the audience goes wild again.

And it is nice to see Mario Lopez, Lark Voorhies, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar back at Bayside. It’s also interesting to note that none of them seem to be particularly enthused about seeing Dustin Diamond again. (Gosselaar has said that shooting this episode was the last time he ever saw Diamond.)

Bayside is saved! Season two comes to an end with a two-parter that was dumb but crowd-pleasing. (Slater will make at least one more New Class appearance. This episode was it for Zack and Lisa until the short-lived Peacock revival.) This episode was also the final episode for Christian Oliver, Spankee Rodgers, and Bianca Lawson. Next week, when we start season three, Brian, Bobby, and Megan will all be gone and they’ll never be mentioned again. We can assume Brian went back to Switzerland and Megan probably did go to that private school. As for Bobby, who knows? What I can tell you is that the season three cast will feature some of the actors and characters who are the most regularly associated with Saved by the Bell: The New Class.

For now, let’s just be happy that Bayside High School has been saved… again.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.12 “Date Auction”

Posted on October 31, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the school is torn apart by a date auction!

Episode 3.12 “Date Auction”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 9th, 1991)

The cheerleaders need to buy new uniforms but they’re informed that Bayside doesn’t have enough money in their budget. (That’s what they get for not drilling for oil on the football field). Zack suggests that the cheerleader cheer “in their bikinis.” Kelly suggests a date auction to raise money because “lots of people would bet on Zack and Slater!” Jessie, who views the whole idea as being sexist, announce that she will not be bidding and then proceeds to threaten any girl who would even think of bidding on Slater.

At the auction, one of the many Bayside nerds is purchased, for 15 cents, by a girl who wears glasses. “Awwwww!” say the audience and they should because they’re a cute couple.

Lisa purchases student council vice president Brian Watkins (Patrick J. Dancy). Brian is an intellectual who loves Catcher In The Rye. (“I love baseball!” Lisa says). Brian insinuates that Lisa is too shallow for him so Lisa pretends to be an intellectual too. When Kelly tells Lisa that she’s not showing her true self, Lisa replies, “This Lisa has a boyfriend. The old Lisa didn’t.” Awww, what a sad line! Actually, why doesn’t Lisa just go out with Jessie’s stepbrother? They seemed to have a lot of chemistry. For that matter, where is Jessie’s stepbrother?

No one bids on Slater until Kelly, feeling sorry for him, finally speaks up and purchases a date with him. An angry Jessie slaps down $25.00 and ends up buying a date with Screech.

Finally, Zack comes out on stage. There’s a bidding frenzy. Eventually, Wendy (Judy Carmen) announces that she’s bidding a hundred dollars. A shocked Zack is sold to Wendy. Zack doesn’t know how to react because Wendy is — wait for it — overweight!

This episode features both Zack and Jessie at their absolute worst. Jessie, at least, eventually sees the error of her ways and ends up not only going to the dance with Screech but also forgiving Slater. Zack, on the other hand, attempts to get out of the date by faking an old track injury. Of course, Zack then goes surfing. Did Zack think Wendy wouldn’t hear about that?

Wendy breaks off her date with Zack and the audience applauds. Even they know that Zack is being a jerk. Zack goes to the dance alone and sits with the nerds (including the guy who was purchased for 15 cents). When Wendy shows up, Zack walks up to her and asks her to dance. Wendy agrees but then Zack ruins the moment by saying that he just feels guilty about the way he treated her. Wendy doesn’t want Zack’s pity.

Now, that is where the episode should have ended. Zack screwed up twice. He’s humiliated at the school dance. Wendy has stood up for herself. A lesson has been learned. Instead, Zack then apologizes to Wendy for a third time and invites her to go to the Max after the dance. He also turns down Lydia when the latter asks him to dance. In regards to going to the Max, Wendy says, “I’d like that.”

“And I like you,” Zack says, sounding a bit like a serial killer who is trying to lure his latest victim into his basement.

If anything, Zack is even more condescending at the end of this episode then he was at the start. But the audience is now on his side. That’s the important thing.

The other important thing is that Lisa dumps Brian after he starts complaining about her friends. “Mr. Too Much Attitude!” Lisa calls him. That’s a line that I’ve used several times since I first watched this episode, usually while talking to a cat. That said, I do wish the episode had taken the time to explain that, even if Brian was a jerk, it’s still not a bad idea to read a book and expand your mind. Remember when Zack read about Chief Joseph?

As for Wendy and Brian, they will never be seen again. Maybe they started hanging out with Jessie’s stepbrother….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.3 “Blue Hawaii: Part One”

Posted on October 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bike cops go to Hawaii!

Episode 5.3 “Blue Hawaii: Part One”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on August 1st, 1999)

TC, Cory, Bobby, and Granger are sent to Hawaii so that they can spend five days training other bicycle cops. If there’s anything that this show has shown over the past five seasons, it’s that it takes a lot of training to be a bicycle cop. For instance, you have to know how to look smugly self-satisfied while holding up traffic. That’s not a natural skill. That’s something you have to learn. Whenever Cory responds to a legitimate question by yelling and shoving someone into a wall, you’re seeing years of training. Whenever Chris runs a bystander over with her bicycle and then says, “Just doing my job,” that’s her way of sayin, “Your taxes paid for this!”

Bobby and Granger spend their first Hawaiian night at a strip club. A drug dealer (Dax Griffin) mistakes Bobby for a buyer. This leads to Bobby and Granger getting involved in an undercover operation. We meet the other members of Hawaii’s special undercover task force. There’s Sgt. Aikau (Andy Bumatai), a surfer who puts a curse on TC. There’s Matt Cho (Lorenzo Callender), who acts just like Bobby. There’s an Australian cop (played by Corey Page) who acts just like Granger. And then there’s Officer Claire Keene (Kristanna Loken) who acts just like Cory.

As you probably already guessed, this episode was a backdoor pilot for a series that was didn’t end up happening. (This episode aired the same year that Baywatch became Baywatch Hawaii.) It’s also a two-parter, which means this episode ends with Bobby and Granger still working undercover, the drug dealers still on the loose, and the Hawaiian cops in need of some lessons on how to work undercover. Bobby is also falling for Claire and is thinking about transferring permanently to Hawaii.

Like a lot of backdoor pilots, this episode fails because it asked us to get emotionally invested in a bunch of new, poorly-drawn characters. The fact that all of the Hawaiian cops had the same personality tics as their California counterparts didn’t help matters. That said, I enjoyed this episode just because it was shot in Hawaii and the scenery was lovely.

Next week, we’ll conclude our trip to paradise with Part Two of Blue Hawaii!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.11 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part Two”

Posted on October 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the sage of Jessie’s stepbrother continues.

Episode 3.11 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part Two”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 2nd, 1991)

Picking up where the previous episode ended, Eric and Lisa survive wrecking Belding’s car. Neither one gets checked by a doctor or anything sensible like that. As a matter of fact, Lisa thinks it’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to her. She had so much fun on her date with Eric that she even asks him if he wants to go to the MC Hammer concert with her.

Meanwhile, Zack and Slater have to figure out how to raise the $610 needed to fix the car. They decide that, since lying has worked out so well for them so far, they should hold a rigged raffle. Students pay Zack and Slater for the tickets, not realizing that it’s already been set up for Screech to win. The raffle takes place in Mr. Sachs’s math class. As Mr. Sachs solves a math problem on the board, he reads out each number. The class applauds each numeral. “I’ve never seen such math enthusiasm!” Mr. Sachs exclaims. Of course, Screech has the winning number.

When Screech is initially reluctant to hand over the money that he “won,” Eric overhears Zack and Slater threatening him in the locker room. Eric tries to blackmail Zack and Slater into giving him the money for his date with Lisa. Zack reveals that the only reason Lisa went on her first date with Eric was because Zack bribed her with the MC Hammer tickets.

Eric confronts Lisa at the Max. Lisa admits the truth. Eric says he never wants to speak to her again. As Jessie watches, Lisa sobs that, “At first, I didn’t like him. Now, I don’t like me!” Awww! Poor Lisa!

Things get even more complicated when Belding returns early and wants to see his car. It turns out that Eric convinced the auto shop teacher to totally take the car apart. (“Uh-oh,” the studio audience says.) When Jessie finds out, she marches into her former bedroom and punches Eric in the face. That black eye is all Eric needs to realize that he hasn’t been very nice. Eric puts Belding’s car back together. Belding thinks that Slater did a wonderful job installing his CD player.

Eric also decides to return to New York but the entire gang comes over and asks him to stay in California. Yay! They’re all friends now! I’m sure we’ll be seeing Eric a lot over the next few episodes. And even if we don’t see him, I’m sure that Jessie will occasionally mention him, right? I mean, you can’t just introduce a stepbrother, make him the center of a two-part episode, and then just forget about him, can you? That would be crazy!

Speaking of crazy, this episode drives me up the wall. The rigged lottery. The car prank. The desperate attempts to keep Belding from realizing that his car was in an accident. It’s all a bit much and it all could have been avoided by the students of Bayside not acting like idiots. I abhor idiot plots and that’s pretty much what this entire episode was.

If anything did redeem this episode, it was Slater getting tired of being told to fix the car and snapping, “I don’t need this pressure!” You tell ’em, Slater!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.2 “The Naked Truth”

Posted on October 20, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, everyone’s going undercover!

Episode 5.2 “The Naked Truth”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on July 25th, 1999)

When a wealthy sorority girl is found dead on the beach with her head caved in, it falls to the bicycle patrol to solve the case. Where are the Homicide detectives? We know that the Santa Monica PD has a homicide division because Chris keeps talking about transferring there. I know I bring this up every episode but it simply doesn’t make sense for the bike cops to be the ones investigating all of these crimes. I mean, essentially, they’re traffic cops. In the real world, they’re job would be to secure the crime scene and wait for the real detectives to show up.

Anyway, when Monica sees that the dead girl was wearing a sequined bikini, she immediately deduces that she was working as a stripper. (I’m not sure that logic would hold hope in court but whatever.) Why would a rich sorority girl be working at a strip club? Monica and Chris go undercover to find out. Chris is the new housemother at the sorority house. Monica is a new pledge. It turns out that working at the strip club started as a hazing ritual but now, all of the girls are being blackmailed (via email, we’re specifically told) into doing it.

Who is the blackmailer? That mystery is solved when Chris catches the local handyman going through her underwear. The handyman explains that he’s not a murderer, he’s just a pervert. He also says that all of the girls have expensive underwear except for one who owns “K-mart panties.” Because that girl is poor and a computer science major, Monica and Chris decide that she’s the blackmailer. (Again, I’m not sure that logic would hope up in court but whatever. I’m too tired to argue with this stupid show.) I guess the lesson here is to spend money on quality panties. Well, don’t worry, Pacific Blue! I buy and wear only the best!

As for the murderer, it turns out to be a cowboy with a country accent who is always hanging out at the strip club and requesting a private dance. It really wasn’t that much of a shock.

Pacific Blue always talks a big game about how women shouldn’t be objectified but then every episode opens with random bikini shots and this episode looked for every possible excuse to put Monica in a school girl outfit. I’d have more respect for Pacific Blue if it was just honest about what it is was doing as opposed to having the characters constantly spouting a lot of cliches about empowerment that the show itself doesn’t seem to take all that seriously.

The good thing about this episode is that it ends with Chris telling TC that they need some time apart. I agree! You can do better, Chris!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.10 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part One”

Posted on October 17, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we meet Jessie’s new stepbrother! I’m sure he’ll be around forever.

Episode 3.10 “Wicked Stepbrother: Part One”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 2nd, 1991)

Jessie’s mom has gotten married …. again!

Now, in this episode, we don’t actually meet Jessie’s mom. Nor do we meet her new stepfather. In fact, she says next to nothing about her new stepfather. Instead, this entire episode is all about Eric Tramer (Joshua Hoffman), her new stepbrother from New York!

That’s right. Jessie has a stepbrother and I’m sure that he’s going to be a major part of the show!

(Incidentally, I’m assuming that Eric Tramer was named after script consultant Bennett Tramer.)

Unfortunately, Eric is a little bit cocky. He’s got that New York attitude. When Zack pretends to be Jewish so he can skip school on Rosh Hashanah and go to a baseball game, Eric finds out and blackmails him into giving up his locker. When Jessie calls Slater a “curly Conan,” Eric records it and threatens to play it for the whole school. Jessie gives up her bedroom to Eric.

(Hey, remember how, during the first season, Zack and Jessie lived right next to each other and Zack would regularly climb in through Jessie’s window? Apparently, the show forgot about that.)

Eric has a weakness. He has a crush on Lisa but Lisa doesn’t want anything to do with him. Zack has a plan. Belding is away for the weekend and he’s given the keys to his red sportscar to Slater so that Slater can install a CD player. (Hello, 1990s!) Zack offers to give Lisa two tickets to the MC Hammer concert if she agrees to go out with Eric. Then, he and Slater allow Eric to borrow Belding’s car for his date. Their plan is to take a picture of Eric driving Belding’s car and then …. well, I’m not sure what the next step is. I guess they’re going to frame Eric for auto theft and send him to prison so that Zack can get his locker back.

Lisa goes out with Eric. They go to see Casablanca. Eric does a really bad Bogart impersonation. Lisa is charmed. Eric lets Lisa drive the car. Awwww! Zack pops up with his camera and takes a picture. The flash blinds Lisa and she crashes Belding’s car!

“We’re trouble,” Zack says to the audience.

Hey, Zack — your best friend Lisa just crashed a car! Maybe go check on her and make sure she’s not dead….

This is a two-part episode so we’ll take a look at the conclusion next week. As for the first part, this whole thing is a good example of people overreacting to nothing. Because Eric had Screech tape the baseball game, he has video evidence of Zack not being at school. Well, so what? Zack skips class all the time and, in this case, his absence was pre-approved. To get Zack in trouble, Eric would have to prove that Zack was lying about being Jewish and Zack being at a baseball game doesn’t do that. Then, Jessie gives up her room so people won’t know that she called Slater a “curly Conan.” Jessie does this to avoid being embarrassed but would it really be that embarrassing? Slater’s the most popular guy at school and he calls her “mama” in public. And finally, the biggest overreaction is Zack and Slater deciding to frame Eric for a crime as opposed to just ignoring him. It just seems like this whole thing could have been resolved by everyone going out dancing or something.

Can things get any dumber? We’ll find out next week!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 5.1 “Reckoning”

Posted on October 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we start the fifth and final season of Pacific Blue.

Episode 5.1 “Reckoning”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on July 18th, 1999)

The fifth season begins with an episode that, even by the standards of Pacific Blue, is problematic and dumb. Where to begin?

This episode picks up from where the fourth season ended. John Patrone is dead. Bruce Best (Kevin McClatchy), the father of a teenage girl who killed herself after being raped by Patrone, has been arrested for the crime. Bobby has been arrested for tossing the rifle that Patrone used in the harbor. Because Bobby discussed his plans with Granger, Jamie, and Monica, they’ve all been suspended from the force pending the results of an Internal Affairs investigation.

When Assistant District Attorney Tucker (Michelle Clunie) meets with Bobby and TC, Bobby does the usual smug act that all of the members of the bike patrol do whenever they’re in trouble. Bobby starts making demands for a deal that will protect the other three rookies. Tucker proceeds to charge Bobby with being an accessory to first degree murder. Ha! Take that, Bobby.

TC files a formal complaint against Susan Jessop of Internal Affairs, accusing her of sexual harassment and bias. Jessop is taken off the case but Jessop’s boss, Captain Sharp (Gretchen German), turns out to be just as strange as Jessop. (If I had to guess, I’d say that Holly Gaginer had some sort of scheduling conflict that kept her from returning as Jessop and the writers just crossed out Jessop’s name in the script and substitued Sharp’s.) TC is suspended from his command. Cory is named the new temporary commander of Pacific Blue. Cory is also the union rep for the three rookies who are being investigated. How can she both be in management and the union at the same time?

Chris gets mad at TC for getting suspended. She wants to transfer to Homicide and now, being married to him could be a career liability. They have a big argument on the pier. Cory, who really should be too busy running the department to get involved in any of this, sits on her bicycle on watches.

When it’s time for Bruce and Bobby to be taken to the courthouse for their arraignment, a man fires a shot at Bruce. Bruce falls to the ground. Oh wait, that’s not Bruce. That’s TC disguised at Bruce! And luckily, he was wearing a bulletproof vest! Patrone’s lawyer, Steve Plana (Eddie Garcia), is arrested for setting up the assassination attempt.

In the courtroom, veteran television producer Steven J. Cannell shows up as the no-nonsense judge. Tucker starts to call witnesses. Things aren’t looking good for Bobby and Bruce. Suddenly, Father Crane (John Kirby) stands up in the back of the court and announces that Bobby and Bruce are innocent. Father Crane first explains that he was the one who threw the rifle into the harbor. He says he did it after Bobby came to him for advice. Father Crane then goes on to say that he was the one who shot Patrone because that was the only way to stop Patrone’s reign of terror. Bobby and Bruce have been covering for him!

Bobby and Bruce are released and exonerated. Father Crane is convicted. TC later visits Crane in jail and says that he knows Crane is lying about both killing Patrone and tossing the rifle in the harbor. TC mentions that Crane is going to be transferred to a state prison where Patrone “had a lot of friends.” What TC, who has been reinstated as commander of Pacific Blue, does not do is apparently tell anyone that Crane is obviously not guilty. For his part, Crane says that it will be a chance for him to minister to those who really need it. You know, Father Crane, you could have just applied to be a prison chaplain. You didn’t have to confess to a murder you didn’t commit.

Bobby takes the recovered rifle and gives it back to Bruce. Bobby admits that Crane lied about tossing the gun. Bruce admits that he killed Patrone. Bobby says that he still feels like Bruce did the right thing. Bruce thanks Bobby for looking out for him. Hey, guys, there’s an innocent man — A PRIEST! — going to prison for you idiots! Is that somehow not an issue?

Chris tells TC that she knows Father Crane lied about being the murderer. She also says that she doesn’t feel like TC deserves his command. He let Bobby get away with destruction of evidence. He’s letting Bruce get away with murder. Finally, someone’s speaking some sense! Not that it matters. The episode ends with the conversation. Knowing Pacific Blue, I doubt any of this will ever be brought up again.

This episode really annoyed me. Father Crane is going to prison but I guess we’re not supposed to care because at least Bobby is off the hook. Does anyone on Pacific Blue ever take responsibility for their mistakes? This is the fourth episode to feature Jamie complaining about Internal Affairs harassing her because she lied on her application to become a police officer. Gee, Jamie — MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE LIED IN THE FIRST PLACE! And now Bobby has basically decided that some murders are okay. Where does it end with these people?

At least this is the last season.