Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.3 “Seduced”

Posted on May 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicycle cops clean up Malibu.

Episode 4.3 “Seduced”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 9th, 1998)

Last week, I said that it appeared that the Pacific Blue recruits were no longer living in their funky loft. Well, it turns out I was wrong. This episode opens with Granger at the funky loft, hosting a party. Unfortunately, the party comes to an abrupt end when Granger tries to play an adult movie on his totally hip VCR. Uh-oh — it turns out that the lead actress in Barely Legal is the 16 year-old sister of one of Granger’s (dead) friends!

(She’s also played by Alison Lohman, a reminder that everyone had to start somewhere.)

Granger and Bobby Cruz set out to take down Malibu’s adult movie underground. TC agrees to help by telling Jamie Strickland to go undercover as a film student who needs a job. Strickland says that she’ll do it but she’s not going to have sex on camera. However, once she reaches the set, the sleazy director decides to put her in the film. Strickland calls Cory. Cory says, “We can’t pull you out now.”

Really? You can’t? Why are bicycle cops even going undercover?

Meanwhile, Playpen magazine offers Monica money to pose for them. They offer even more money if Monica can get the other women of Pacific Blue to pose as well. Needless to say, the other women of Pacific Blue are not willing to pose and they talk about how demeaning Playpen is for women. (Cory, who is pregnant but not showing, is at least tempted.) But the show still features a lengthy montage of Monica’s photoshoot. This show always tries to have it both ways.

This episode probably would have worked better if Granger was actually an interesting character but he’s not. It also would have helped if we knew anything about Strickland’s character, beyond the fact that she’s super-competent, but we don’t. Even the veteran characters — TC, Chris, and Cory — don’t really have any personality. Thankfully, this season has got Mario Lopez playing Bobby Cruz like A.C. Slater on a bicycle and Shanna Moakler, playing Monica as a scheming agent of chaos. Only Lopez and Moakler seem to to have really understood what type of show they were on.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.2 “Zack’s War”

Posted on May 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Zack goes to war! Actually, now that I think about it, he really doesn’t. This title makes no sense.

Episode 2.2 “Zack’s War”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 15th, 1990)

Bayside High School is now home to a Cadet Corps program. Led by Lt. Chet Adams (Cylk Cozart), the Cadet Corps appears to be the same thing as the ROTC but it’s called the Cadet Corps and despite all of the attention that it receives here, it’s never mentioned again after this episode.

Slater’s dad is in the army so he can’t wait to join the Cadet Corps. Zack jokes about never joining the Cadet Corps so Belding gives him 30 Saturday detentions …. unless, Zack joins the Cadet Corps and talks all of his friends into joining. Soon, Zack, Slater, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, Screech, Butch, and Louise are all members of the Cadet Corps. That’s …. 8 people. Wow, that’s a really weak turn-out. Zack has a lot more friends than that! Seriously, if only 8 people show up to one of my watch parties, I usually end up depressed for a week.

Anyway, you may notice some new names there. Louise is the unathletic belle of the school nerds. Butch is an apparently sociopathic bully who doesn’t want Screech talking to his girlfriend. For this episode, I guess we’re just supposed to forget that Screech has always, in the past, been in love with Lisa.

The second day of Cadet Corps, Lt. Adams announces that it’s time for an athletic competition. He allows Zack to pick the teams. Zack puts Screech, Lisa, and Louise on one team. The other team is made up of Butch, Kelly, and Jessie. Zack says Slater can lead the team with Screech, Lisa, and Louise. Lt. Adams says, “Nope,” and he puts Zack in charge of the unathletic team.

Zack gets mad at quits the Corps. Luckily, Screech visits Zack and shames him. (Zack should consider himself lucky that Screech didn’t pull a knife.) Zack rejoins the Corps and leads his team to victory, somehow!

That’s the short version of this dumb episode. This is another one of those weird episodes where an authority figure — in this case, Lt. Adams — tells Zack that, if he wins an arbitrary competition, he’ll be allowed to skip class for the rest of the year. Zack wins the competition but, when Adams says he won’t be seeing Zack anymore, Zack replies, “Why? Are you quitting?” No, Zack, you prick — you’re quitting! Except Zack doesn’t quit for some reason. He’s proud to be in the Cadet Corps.

Needless to say, the Cadet Corps are never mentioned again.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.2 “Treasure Hunt”

Posted on May 5, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, cliffhangers are abandoned and emotions run wild.

Episode 4.2 “Treasure Hunt”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 2nd, 1998)

When last we checked in with Pacific Blue, we had a bit of cliffhanger going on. Bobby Cruz was still considering whether or not to become a bicycle cop. Detective Monica Harper was preparing to go back to her usual department. And TC had just announced to Strickland and Granger that he wasn’t sure whether or not they would be continuing as bike cops.

Well, apparently, that all got worked out between episodes. Strickland and Graner are still bike cops and they no longer appear to be living in that funky loft they were occupying during the previous episode. Bobby is now a bike cop. And Monica is a bike cop too because apparently, she got transferred to Pacific Blue. She explains to Bobby that she goes wherever she’s sent but she’s not real happy about being a bike cop. Hey, Monica, we’ve already got a whiny character on this show. We don’t need another.

That whiny character — and yes, it is Chris Kelly — wants to be a sergeant. So does Cory. Both Chris and Cory take the sergeant’s exam. Chris scores higher, though only by five points. However, TC offers the sergeant’s position to Cory. Chris, of course, whines about his decision. TC replies that Cory’s been with the department longer and, unlike Chris, she’s never been written up for having a bad attitude. TC feels that Cory will be a better role model for the new recruits and he’s probably right. I mean, one of the few consistent things about Pacific Blue has been that Chris is generally thin-skinned and fairly rude to the people that citizens that she’s supposed to be protecting. Chris is the bike cop who always seemed to be annoyed whenever she actually has to talk to anyone who doesn’t ride a bicycle.

One reason that is not mentioned for TC not promoting Chris is that Chris and TC are now married and I have to wonder how it would look if TC’s first action as commander was to promote his wife. Honestly, how are TC and Chris even working together now? This seems like a textbook case of conflict of interest.

As for the rest of the show, Strickland killed her first bad guy. Shaken after shooting a convenience store robber, Strickland goes to a bar and gets drugged! It turns out that someone is slipping GHB into the drinks on the boardwalk. Could it have something to do with two obnoxious radio hosts who are broadcasting from the pier? Bobby Cruz is not happy when he discovers that his 15 year-old sister is apparently a fan of their program….

Yes, Bobby Cruz is a Mexican-American bicycle cop from a tough neighborhood who is very protective of his younger sister. Wasn’t that Victor Del Toro’s character as well? Being from Texas, I’ve always been very aware of how television has always stereotyped any character who happens to have a Spanish last name. With Pacific Blue, it looks like they just crossed out Victor Del Toro’s name in their scripts and wrote in Bobby Cruz instead.

Finally, Monica is looking for a new apartment. Cory tries to keep Monica from finding out that there’s an apartment available in her building because …. Cory’s a bitch, maybe? I don’t know. It’s very out-of-character for Cory. How is Cory going to be a sergeant if she gets this upset and petty over a new person being assigned to Pacific Blue?

Oh! Also, Cory’s pregnant! So far, only Chris knows. Why would anyone tell Chris anything? Chris is like hella mean….

Wow, a lot happened in this episode! In fact, I’d say almost too much happened in this episode. One got the feeling that the show’s writers wanted to focus on the newer members of the squad but, at the same time, they knew they had to come up with something for Chris to whine about. In the past, Pacific Blue often felt understuffed. This episode was definitely overstuffed.

Something is going to have to give.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.1 “The Prom”

Posted on May 2, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we begin season 2!

Episode 2.1 “The Prom”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 8th, 1990)

It’s time for the prom!

Wow, the second season really jumps into things, doesn’t it? Most high school shows tend to take the “each season is one school year approach” but the second season of Saved By The Bell opens with prom.

It’s time for Kelly to finally decide who is going to be prom date (and boyfriend), Slater or Zack. If the first season occasionally featured Kelly acting a bit flighty and, at times, self-centered, the second season introduces us to the new Kelly, who is in love with Zack but who also doesn’t want to hurt Slater’s feelings. This is also the Kelly who suddenly comes from a huge blue collar family. Kelly agrees to go to prom with Zack (and Slater, being awesome, accepts her decision with grace). But when her father is laid off from his job at the defense plant (“World peace has broken out,” he explains — and you can thank Ronald Reagan and the first George Bush for that! USA! USA! USA!), Kelly gives up going to prom because her family needs the money that she would have spent on the evening.

(Kelly, Zack’s superrich! Just have him pay for everything….)

Zack is upset, until Slater tells him that Kelly’s father lost his job.

“Poor Kelly,” Zack says.

“That’s right,” Slater replies. “Poor Kelly. Not poor Zacky.”

HELL YEAH! I LOVE SLATER!

Slater does go to prom, with Jessie. (This is an important episode for Slater and Jessie too.) Meanwhile, Screech asks Lisa to be his date. When Lisa turns him down, Screech begs her to just see a movie with him. It’s a zombie movie and Lisa loves it! But apparently, Screech has an issue with people who love movies because he gets mad at Lisa for talking too much and decides to go to prom alone. For some reason, Screech becomes the prom’s DJ. Meanwhile, Lisa bores her date by talking nonstop about the zombie movie ….. wow, this all feels very familiar to me.

As for Zack and Kelly, they do go to prom! They dance outside of the gym and it’s one of the few genuinely romantic moments to be found in Saved By The Bell. It’s also one of the few moments that captures the unique mix of melancholy and optimism that goes along with being a teenager.

The second season is off to a great start!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.1 “Glass Houses”

Posted on April 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we start season 4!

Episode 4.1 “Glass Houses”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on July 26th, 1998)

The fourth season of Pacific Blue opens with many changes.

Palermo and Victor have retired. Cory is now dating Doug Fraser (Owen McKibbin). At the start of the episode, Cory and Doug accompany TC and Chris to Vegas, where they are married by — you guessed it! — an Elvis impersonator.

TC is now in charge of Pacific Blue and, while Chris and Cory both make plans to take the sergeant’s exam, TC focuses on bringing in some new blood. At the police academy, he recruits two recent graduates — hyper-competent Jaime Strickland (Amy Hunter) and edgy rebel Russ Granger (Jeff Stearns). He asks and gets undercover cop Monica Harper (Shanna Moakler) transferred to Pacific Blue so that she can go undercover to break up a meth operation at the local college. Everyone is shocked when Monica turns out to be young and blonde. Were they expecting a 40 year-old undercover college student?

Not happy about having to ride a bicycle, Russ decides to insert himself into Monica’s undercover operation. Monica and Russ meet the two main dealers, Quincy (Joe Michael Burke) and Cherry (Michelle Beauchamp). They discover that they’re getting their drugs from a chemistry professor (Robin Thomas). What they don’t do is make an arrest. Quincy and Cherry murder the professor and escape after setting off a bomb in the chemistry lab.

TC is not happy with his new cops. In fact, the episode ends with him telling them that he has doubts about whether or not to keep them at Pacific Blue. Fortunately, we the viewers know that they’ll be okay because they are all now listed in the opening credits.

Also listed in the opening credits is Bobby Cruz (Mario Lopez), the campus cop who drags Monica out of the laboratory right before it explodes. Bobby has a history. He was a member of the LAPD but, disgusted by the anti-Mexican racism that he saw, he became a campus cop instead. (Where I went to college, the campus cops were the biggest joke around.) TC offers Bobby a chance to be a member of Pacific Blue. Bobby says that he’ll think about it. We all know that means yes.

And that’s a good thing because this show could definitely use more Mario Lopez! In fact, the only reason I started reviewing this stupid series was because I knew Mario would be joining the cast eventually. Let’s hope Mario’s magic starts to make things better soon!

As for this episode, it was …. well, it wasn’t good. Other than Lopez, none of the new characters really made much of an impression. But, I am an optimist. I have hope.

Never give up hope.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.19 “Slater’s Friend”

Posted on April 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we finish up the first season.

Episode 1.19 “Slater’s Friend”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 28th, 1992)

Who killed Artie?

That’s the question that Zack, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, and Screech are left to consider when Slater’s pet chameleon Artie dies. Slater specifically asked them to take care of Artie while he was out of town. When Slater returns to Bayside, both Zack and the girls attempt to fool him with a duplicate chameleon because no one on this show ever just tells the truth. When Slater figures out that Artie is dead, he’s bitter and he’s angry and he even disrupts Coach Rizzo’s (Frankie Como) speech class. Belding, of all people, emerges as the hero, telling Slater that it’s okay to be sad. In the end, Artie is given a funeral and the cast sings Artie Boy.

This episode has long had a reputation for being the worst episode of Saved By The Bell. NBC was so embarrassed by it that they actually didn’t air it until four years after it was filmed. In his highly-suspect autobiography, Dustin Diamond claimed that everyone was trying not to laugh during the funeral scene.

Well, you know what? This episode — as silly as it is — kind of works. If you’ve ever lost a pet, you can relate to Slater’s grief. And really, Slater having a pet chameleon makes sense when you consider the fact that he spent his entire childhood traveling from one military base to another. It’s not like he could really own a cat or even a dog under those circumstances. A lizard on the other hand….

This episode is actually a good example of how good Mario Lopez actually was in the role of A.C. Slater. When Slater says, “It’s just a dead lizard,” your heart breaks for him. When he hugs Mr. Belding, you feel Slater’s pain. Even in an episode that ends with everyone singing a song about a chameleon, Mario Lopez gave it his all.

Worst episode ever? Not hardly! We’ve still got the Tori episodes to review, after all. In fact, my only complaint about this episode is that Coach Rizzo was never brought back. He was my favorite teacher at Bayside!

Next week, we’ll start season 2!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.18 “Screech’s Birthday”

Posted on April 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Screech has the worst friends in the world.

Episode 1.18 “Screech’s Birthday”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 14th, 1992)

Screech is upset because all of his “friends” (and his robot, Kevin) forgot his birthday. His friends decide to make it up to him by throwing him a small party in Mr. Belding’s office. However, in order to use Belding’s office, they need control of the halls so they come up with an elaborate scheme to get hall monitor Neil (Jesse Wilson) fired so that Screech can take his place. However, Screech takes his job too seriously and sends everyone to detention, including almost everyone who is supposed to be at his party.

Oh my God, what is Zack going to do!?

Zack uses the PA system to ask that Slater, Lisa, Jessie, Kelly, and Screech come to the principal’s office.

Seriously, that’s all he does.

A few thoughts:

First off, the only reason that Zack his available to call everyone to the principal’s office is because Screech doesn’t send him to detention despite the fact that he catches Zack in the hallway without a hall pass. Now, you might think Zack has immunity because he’s Screech’s best friend but Screech previously sent Lisa — the girl he loves — to detention so why would he give Zack a break? Add to that, Screech is mad at Zack for forgetting his birthday. So, I would think Zack would especially be someone that Screech would want to punish.

Secondly, why couldn’t they just throw Screech a surprise party at Zack’s house? Or Slater’s house? Or the Maxx? Or anywhere other than Belding’s office?

Third, this episode does feature two of my favorite supporting characters, Neil the nasty hall monitor and Mr. Dewey (Patrick Thomas O’Brien), the burned out teacher. Sadly, this was Neil’s only appearance.

Fourth, this episode was filmed for the first season and aired in syndication as a part of the first season but, for some reason, NBC didn’t air the episode until the fourth season. It’s really not any worse than the typical Saved By The Bell episode so it’s odd that NBC held off on airing it for so long.

Fifth, always remember your friends’s birthdays. It’s not that hard!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”

Posted on April 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we have perhaps the dumbest 30 minutes of television ever.

Episode 1.17 “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 23rd, 1990)

After breaking the school’s video camera, Zack and the gang need to come up with some money and they need to do it quickly! They see that a tabloid will pay money for pictures of an alien so they send in a picture of Screech. Thompson (Sean Masterson) turns up at the school to investigate the claim. Screech pretends to be an alien. Uh-oh, Thompson’s from the government and he wants to dissect Screech!

This is without a doubt the stupidest episode of Saved By The Bell that I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something. Everyone in the school — including freaking Mr. Belding — puts on a mask to show Thompson that he’s been fooled.

That’s not very nice, Thompson says.

Neither is telling a bunch of kids you’re from a magazine, Belding replies.

What does that even mean, Belding?

Seriously, I try to cut this show some slack but even when I was an occasionally stoned college student watching Saved By The Bell so I’d have something other to do other than study, I still groaned whenever this episode came on.

Did they ever fix the video camera? They should have let the government have Screech.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.16 “Save That Tiger”

Posted on April 4, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s prank war time!

Episode 1.17 “Save That Tiger”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 16th, 1989)

Historically, this is an important episode.

This is the episode that establishes that Valley is Bayside’s rival. It also introduces us to the annual prank war. It’s the episode in which Jessie (reluctantly) becomes a cheerleader. This episode establishes that Screech is the dork in the Bayside tiger costume. This is also the episode in which we first learn that Mr. Belding was a wild man in high school. His nickname? Mad Dog!

That said, what most people remember about this episode is “Stinky” Stingwell, the principal of Valley. Played by veteran comic Ronnie Schell, Mr. Stingwell is a prank war veteran who encourages his students to kidnap Screech and who greets Mr. Belding with a joy buzzer. Stinky Stingwell is a great character and it’s a shame that he only appeared in one episode.

This episode ends with a cheer competition between Valley, Bayside, and an unnamed school. Valley attempts to ruin the Bayside cheer by kidnapping Screech and putting a Valley student in the tiger costume. When Slater and Zack find out, they pour a bunch of fire ants into the costume and this leads to the Bayside Tiger having what appears to be a seizure. (It’s a good thing that the guy in the costume wasn’t allergic to fire ants because he could have died. Is that the legacy they want for their prank war?) Somehow, this leads to Bayside winning the competition. Even though Mr. Belding said he didn’t want any more pranks, he seems to be okay with them as long as it leads to Bayside winning a trophy.

I decided to get an expert opinion when it came to judging the cheer competition so I forced my sister to watch it with me. She said Valley should have won and I have to agree. Their cheer was good without requiring any gimmicks like a spastic tiger.

“We won the prank war,” Zack tells us.

Eh. Sorry, Zack. Stinky Stingwell won this round. TPing the school? Abducting Screech? Stealing the costume? Wrapping up the school’s students in 2-ply toilet paper? Somehow setting bobby traps in Zack, Slater, and Screech’s lockers?

Valley rules!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 1.16 “King of the Hill”

Posted on March 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to start the school year! Zack gets ready for his first day …. wait a minute, hasn’t school already started?

Episode 1.16 “King of the Hill”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on December 9th, 1989)

I’ll never forget the day Slater showed up….

For the longest time, I believed that this was the first episode of Saved By The Bell. I mean, the episode features Zack meeting Slater for the first time, Slater meeting Kelly for the first time, and it introduces all of the regulars. We discover that Zack, somehow, has a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Kelly in his bedroom. That’s weird and kind of disturbing.

However, I have since learned that, while this was indeed the pilot for Saved By The Bell, it wasn’t actually aired until halfway through the first season. That’s why we hear an older sounding Zack say, “I’ll never forget the day Slater showed up….” We’re watching a flashback. But if it’s a flashback, why is Zack talking directly to the audience? I mean, if the audience was there when it happened the first time, why would Zack be telling them about it a second time? For that matter, why — if this is Zack’s first day as a high school freshman — is he already a legendary troublemaker at the school? Mr. Belding remembers him from Good Morning Ms. Bliss but that show was set in Junior High and in Indiana! And before anyone says that they’re two different shows, allow me to point out that the Ms. Bliss episode were later reshown in syndication as Saved By The Bell episodes, complete with Zack introducing them by saying, “Here’s a story that happened in junior high….”

My personal theory about all this? Saved By The Bell was a Peter Engel show and, like most Peter Engel shows, no one cared much about continuity. Ironically, that sloppiness is a huge part of the show’s continuing popularity. People like me are still trying to make some sort of logical sense out of how Ms. Bliss and Saved By The Bell could both exist in the same universe.

As for this pilot …. well, for the most part, it’s not very good. Of the young actors, only Mario Lopez really seems to have any idea as to who his character should be. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who would develop into a very good actor, overacts a bit in the pilot. He, Dustin Diamond, and Lark Voorhees were all still giving the same performances that they gave in Ms. Bliss and they didn’t quite feel right for what would become Saved By The Bell. Really, the only scene that truly works is when Mr. Belding puts on a sweater and attempts to “understand” why Zack is acting out before finally snapping as Zack makes a mess of his office. From the start, Dennis Haskins and Mark-Paul Gosselaar made for a good comedy team.

One final note: This episode aired nearly 37 years ago. Mario Lopez has aged, at most, ten years since then. He has got to have a haunted painting in his attic.