Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.9 “Belding’s Prank”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we have an episode that you should watch at your own risk.

Episode 2.9 “Belding’s Prank”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 8th, 1994)

This is one of those episodes where the plot just gives you a headache.

It’s Prank Week at Bayside and Mr. Belding is all in.  He thinks that Prank Week is a great way to build school spirit.  When Screech informs Belding that the new superintendent is coming to inspect the school, Belding assumes that it’s a prank.  Meanwhile, Brian, Tommy, and Bobby are trying to prank Rachel, Lindsay, and Megan and vice versa.  Brian, Tommy, and Bobby sabotage a sink in the girls locker room.  Rachel, Lindsay, and Megan put a live chicken in the boys locker room.

Finally, Screech is able to convince Belding that the superintendent is coming.  Belding suspends prank week.  However, when a plumber (Ken Thorley) shows up to look at the sink, the girls tell Screech that he’s the superintendent.  (The plumber was at the Plumber Awards Banquet and is wearing a suit.)  Belding and Screech give the plumber a tour of the school.  Belding take him to the Max for lunch.

The real superintendent (Raye Birk) shows up but Screech thinks he’s the plumber.  (Oh my God, this hurts my head just to write.)  Screech tells the superintendent to fix the sink.  The superintendent gets sprayed with black sludge.  Screech takes the superintendent to the boys locker room to wash up.  The superintendent runs into the chickens and ends up covered in feathers.

The superintendent demands to speak to Belding in his office.  Our core group of students — who apparently don’t have any classes to go to — wait outside.  Belding steps out of the office and announces, “I’ve been fired.”

Well, yeah, I should say so.  There’s absolutely no reason for Belding not to be fired.  He obviously can’t control his school.  Hell, he can’t even get his students to go to class.

The next day, the superintendent returns and, at a school assembly, says he’s going to introduce the new principal.

“We want Mr. Belding back!” Brian cries out.

“Then you should have appreciated him when he was here,” the superintendent replies.

The superintendent then introduces the new principal — “Mr. Richard Belding!”

Belding steps out on stage, disappointing Screech who thought he was going to be the new principal.  “Got ya!” Belding says to the students.  Hey, it was all a prank!  Belding mentions that it’s a good thing that the superintendent had a sense of humor.

WHAT!?

I’ve seen this episode a few times.  Dennis Haskins actually gives one of his better performances as Belding in this episode.  You really do believe him when he says, “I’ve been fired,” which makes it all the more strange when it turns out it was all just an elaborate prank.

Overall, though, this is one of those episodes that gives me a headache in that every problem could have been resolved by everyone not acting like an idiot.  This is migraine television.  And that’s no prank!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.8 “Rachel’s Choice”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, Rachel’s boyfriend returns.

Episode 2.8 “Rachel’s Choice”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 1st, 1994)

Oh, Hell, we’re back at the country club.

Rachel and Brian are now dating but Rachel still hasn’t told her long-distance boyfriend, football star David Conrad (Kevin Bell).  In this episode, it’s mentioned that Rachel has been dating David for two years (so why was she going on out on a date with Scott during season one?) and that David is the “local boy made good.”  Mr. Belding acts as if David is the only good football player that Bayside ever had, which is definitely A.C. Slater erasure.

(It’s weird how Bayside went from being the most exclusive school in Los Angeles during the first series to apparently just some throw-away slum school in the New Class.)

David told Rachel that he would be spending the summer in Europe but — surprise! — he comes home early for Rachel’s birthday.  (David immediately recognizes Screech as someone he went to school with so David is at least 20.  Rachel appeared in the first 4 seasons of The New Class and, when she left, it was because she transferred to another school.  So, Rachel is around 14 or 15 here and has been dating David for two years, which means that David should probably be in jail.)  Rachel has to make a choice between David and Brian.  Now, that could make for some serious drama if both Brian and David were portrayed as being two nice guys who both liked Rachel.  Instead, David is portrayed as being such a soulless snob that there’s absolutely no doubt who Rachel will eventually pick.  Indeed, the whole episode makes Rachel seem shallow and stupid for going out with David in the first place.

Meanwhile, Mr. Belding is concerned that some of the members are joining a different country clubs.  Why does Belding care?  This is just a summer job for him.  Belding assigns Screech to make a video about the club.  Shouldn’t Belding have run that past the actual owner of the club?

These country club episodes are stupid.  By running them concurrently with the high school episodes, NBC created a situation where one episode would feature Brian and Rachel as a couple and the next episode would feature Brian still trying to work up the courage to ask her out.  It’s as if no one at NBC cared.  That’s a shame because the late Christian Oliver was a likable actor and Brian and Rachel were a cute couple.  (In real life, when this episode aired, 22 year-old Christian Oliver was about 8 years older than Sarah Lancaster but let’s try not to think about that.)

Anyway, the country club sucks.  I hope everyone gets a better job next summer.

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.7 “The People’s Choice”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, Screech becomes a crusading editor.

Episode 2.7 “The People’s Choice”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 1st, 1994)

Feeling underappreciated at the high school, Screech asks to be made faculty advisor of the school paper.  With a staff made up of the Gang, Screech rejuvenates the paper.  Soon, he is directing an investigation into why there’s no money in the school’s athletic budget for the girl’s swim team to go to state.  Could it be because the misogynistic football coach (Brian Reddy) is a embezzling the money so the football team can go on a trip?

Unfortunately, everyone gets so involved in pursuing the story that they neglect their studies and they skip Mr. Belding’s college entrance exam review session!  Honestly, college entrance exams are incredibly easy and anyone who needs a review session to do well on them wasn’t going to get into a decent college anyways.  Seriously,  just blow all that off and go to a party school like I did.  GO MEAN GREEN!

Anyway, Screech realizes the error of his ways and puts the newspaper staff through a grueling review session.  Everyone does well on their exam.  And Screech disguises himself as an old man and tricks the coach into confessing his embezzlement!  The coach presumably works with Screech every day so how did he fall for a wig and a fake mustache?  Seriously, what is the deal with this show and disguises?

Despite the rather stupid plot, this episode wasn’t that bad.  Dustin Diamond actually gave a fairly believable performance as Screech and the ensemble had a good chemistry.  I’ll admit that I laughed at Tommy D’s attempts to be a food critic.  I bet we never hear about the newspaper again.

 

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s a 4th of July episode that aired in September.

Episode 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 24th, 1994)

Oh Hell, it’s another country club episode.

The country club is having a tip competition for the 4th of July.  Whoever gets the most tips will have their earnings matched by the club.  Megan wants to win so she can send her parents on a cruise.  (How did Bayside go from being a school full of wealthy trust fund brats to one full of poor people?)  Bobby decides to give her all of his tips so she can win.  That sounds like cheating to me.

Meanwhile, due to Screech’s stupidity, Mr. Belding ends up with a terrible sunburn.  (Screech was supposed to bring the sunscreen but he brought salad dressing instead.)  This leads to countless scenes of Screech slapping Belding on the back and causing him agonizing pain.  Ha ha, I guess.

Meanwhile, Brian makes Rachel jealous by pretending to like the new tennis instructor (Brittney Powell).  She likes him too, even though he’s like 16.  When a guilt-stricken Brian finally admits that he was only pretending to like her, the tennis instructor says, “You’re a jerk!” and she’s right.  But I guess it doesn’t matter because Brian’s plan works and he and Rachel end up sharing a kiss while watching the 4th of July fireworks.

What type of show airs their 4th of July episode in September?

The country club episodes are so annoying.  If I wanted to watch people work, I could just go hang out at Target for 30 minutes.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.5 “Squash It”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

Hey, it’s time for yet another school carnival!

Episode 2.5 “Squash It”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 25th, 1994)

Because no one at this school actually has to go to class or anything, it’s time for the annual Bayside carnival!  Who will win the prize for best booth?

Will it be Tommy and Lindsay’s kissing booth?  Neither Tommy nor Lindsay are happy about the idea of either one of them kissing anyone else.  So why did they agree to a kissing booth in the first place?

Will it be Rachel and Brian’s dunk tank?  When Belding comes down with a cold, Brian takes Belding’s place as the dunkee.  Everyone wants to dunk Brian because he’s spent a week deliberately insulting everyone.  However, Brian has rigged the tank so he won’t fall in the water.  “You forgot to release the safety!”  Belding says, not realizing that there’s a reason for that.  Uh-oh.  Soon, Brian is soaked and the audience is saying, “Woooo!”

Will it be Megan and Bobby’s mind-reading booth?  Let’s hope not because that’s really dumb.  Bobby also has to remove his mind-reading turban so he can fight a bully.  Fortunately, Screech has taught him karate!

I know this all sounds terrible but this is actually a pretty cute episode.  Instead of being Screech-centered, this episode actually allows every member of the cast to have at least one moment to shine.  (I hate to keep pointing this out but the season 2 cast has a far more appealing chemistry than the season 1 cast.)  Even Screech teaching Bobby karate is amusing.  There’s nothing subtle about Dustin Diamond’s performance but, for once, the broad humor actually works.  Add to that, Bobby learns how to fight but then he chooses not to.  Hey, that’s actually a good lesson, even if it is a bit anticlimatic.

We never learn who wins the Best Booth prize.  I would have given it to Brian and Rachel.  They’re a cute couple, even if they’re not technically dating.  (It also helps if you don’t think about the fact that there was a 8 year age-difference between the actors.)

All in all, this was a good episode.  I’m as shocked as anyone.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.4 “Blood Money”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s time to learn a lesson about giving blood.

Episode 2.4 “Blood Money”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

Megan is running the school blood drive but no one wants to give blood.  Mr. Belding tries to teach everyone a lesson by volunteering but he’s informed by nurse Penny Brady (Emma Caulfield) that he has high cholesterol.  Not only does Belding need to start an exercise regimen but he’s apparently too fat to chaperone the school’s hiking trip.

Not wanting the school’s butch gym teacher to chaperone the trip, Brian decides that Screech should be the chaperone.  However, Screech is depressed because he has a crush on Penny but he can’t work up the courage to ask her out.  Brian tells Penny that he’ll get everyone in the school to donate blood if she agrees to go out with Screech….

Ugh.  This is another Screech-is-in-love episode.  Dustin Diamond was nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons but still, watching the previously asexual Screech date someone is not a pleasant experience.  Penny discovers that she actually likes Screech (why?) but then Screech hears that she was bribed to go out with him and he gets his feelings hurt.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HIKING TRIP?

Seriously, screw the hiking trip.  Why is this school always sponsoring a trip somewhere?  Just give people their diplomas and stay out of their lives….

Oh no, Tommy D’s previously unseen best friend was in a motorcycle accident!  And he has a very rare blood type!  Only Screech can save him!  Screech gives blood, everyone apologizes for setting him up, and Screech agrees to chaperone the trip and to continue dating Penny.  I’m going to guess that didn’t last since Screech ended up dating Allison while working at the country club over the summer.

Meanwhile, some poor biker has gallons of Screech inside of him.

What an episode.  The whole problem with the first season is that the students were not very likable.  Now, the show actually has likable students but all of the attention is on Screech.  It’s like this show just wanted to fail!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.3 “Let the Games Begin”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we’re back at the country club.

Episode 2.3 “Let the Games Begin”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

At Pacific Palisades Country Club, it’s time for the annual competition between the members of the club and the staff.  If the staff wins, the members will wait on them for a week!

Really?  I mean, is this a real thing?  Why would any club member agree to that?  If I’m paying good money to belong to a country club, the last thing that I’m ever going to do is wait on the staff.  I don’t care who wins the stupid competition.

It turns out that Screech is a very good golf player, which becomes an important plot point when the games end in a tie.  The tie-breaker is a golf game between country club owner Big Ed and Screech.  Big Ed tells Screech to either take a dive or stop dating his daughter, Allison.  In the end, Screech can’t betray his fellow workers but Allison doesn’t care.  She decides who she dates, not Big Ed.

Also, Tommy D learns how to swim (yay, good for him!) and Rachel says she’s going to quit her job when she learns her boyfriend won’t be coming home for the summer.  (Her boyfriend was a member of the club and Rachel only took the job so she could spend time with him.)  Brian, not wanting Rachel to quit, starts to send her poems that she believes are being written by her boyfriend.  Rachel eventually learns the truth but she’s not offended at all.  Of course, she isn’t.  Just look at Brian’s apologetic smile!

This episode …. listen, let’s give credit where credit is due.  Christian Oliver and Sarah Lancaster?  They were cute together.  As far as fake Zacks go, Christian Oliver was one of the better ones.  And Jonathan Angel gave a likably earnest performance in the scenes where Tommy learned to swim.  Unfortunately, this episode featured way too much Screech.  Though Dustin Diamond is nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons, he’s still way too cartoonish to be taken seriously as anyone’s boyfriend.

Seriously, can you imagine buying a country club membership and then having to wait on Screech?

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.2 “All Work No Play”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, the Gang gets a summer job!  Why would anyone want to work during the summer?  What a bunch of losers.

Episode 2.2 “All Work And No Play”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 10th, 1994)

It’s summer time!  (During its second season, Saved By The Bell: The New Class aired two episodes each Saturday morning.  One episode would be a high school episode while the other would feature the Gang off-campus.)  Mr. Belding has been hired to manage the Palisade Hills Country Club.  The first mistake that Belding makes is that he hires Screech to be his assistant.  Then he allows Screech to hire Brian, Bobby, Tommy, Rachel, Megan, and Lindsay as his staff.

Thinks quickly go downhill.

  1. While trying to show-off for Rachel, Brian attempts to drive a golf cart with his feet.  (“This is how I steered snowmobile in Switzerland,” Brian says.)
  2. Assigned to wash and wax the car belonging to club owner Ed Harrington (Frank Bonner), Tommy D and Lindsay instead take the car for a joyride, which leads to Brian denting it with the golf cart.
  3. The car has a dent and the paint job is scuffed. Tommy works out the dent and then repaints the car with Rachel’s nail polish.  To help the polish dry, Tommy and Brian remove the car’s front panel, take it to the country’s club’s kitchen. and unplug the freezer so that they can instead plug in a huge fan.
  4. Whoops!  They forget to plug the freezer back in and $4,000 worth of food goes bad.
  5. Bobby can’t drive but still tries to cover valet parking.
  6. Screech is too busy falling in love with Ed’s daughter, Allison (Clare Slastrom), to be of any help.

Mr. Belding does the right thing and fires all of them.  But then the Gang decides to throw a Luau for the club’s members (instead of the county and western barbecue that was originally planned) and it’s such a hit that Belding hires them back.

Seriously, what the Hell?  Yes, the Gang saved the day but they only had to save it because they were so grotesquely immature and irresponsible in the first place.  This was one of the worst recurring plotlines to appear on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.  Someone would get a new job, they would totally screw it up, they would get fired, and then they would get rehired just because they felt bad after the fact.  Personally, I think that if you steal a car, destroy a golf cart, and cause $4,000 worth of meat to go bad, you should be fired.  I don’t care if you then put on a hula skirt and play a ukulele and and put on a little Hawaiian performance on a sweltering day in the middle of the desert.  You’re fired.

GO HOME!

This episode annoyed the Hell out of me.  I can accept a lot from this show but what I can’t accept is a plot where every complication could have been avoided by everyone not being a massive dumbass.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.1 “The Return of Screech”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we start the 2nd season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class!

Episode 2.1 “The Return of Screech”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 10th, 1994)

After the disappointing reviews and ratings of the first season, Saved By The Bell: The New Class rebooted itself for the second season.  Robert Sutherland Telfer, Isaac Lidsky, and Bonnie Russavage were all fired and the characters of Scott, Weasel, and Vicky were dropped from the show. (No mention was ever made of where they had gone.  They just vanished.)

Suddenly, Megan and Lindsay’s best friend was Rachel Meyers (played by Sarah Lancaster, who appeared once during the first season).  Meanwhile, Swiss exchange student Brian Keller (played by a German actor named Christian Oliver) became the new head schemer while Bobby Wilson (Spankee Rodgers) became the new annoying sidekick with a crush on Megan.  From the start of the second season, everyone acted as if Brian and Bobby had always been there.  As for Lindsay and Tommy D, they continued to date.  And because Brian had a crush on Rachel, there was no longer anyone around trying to break the two of them up.

Mr. Belding was still the principal but now, he had a much bigger office with a window.  He also got a new administrative assistant, an education major who was on a work/study program with Cal U.  As you probably already guessed from this episode’s title, that administrative assistant turned out to be Screech Powers (Dustin Diamond).

Now, to give credit where credit is due, neither Screech nor Diamond are quite as annoying in this episode as they would eventually become.  By the end of the series, Diamond was giving such a broad performance as Screech that it almost came across as being deliberately self-destructive.  In this episode, though, Diamond just plays Screech as being overly earnest and too eager to please.  He may get on everyone’s nerves but at least he’s not doing the weird voices or the twisted facial expressions that would later come to typify his performance.

As for the plot of this episode, it’s dumb.  Rachel needs $700 so she can replace the jacket that she borrowed (without permission) from her mother.  Brian throws a party and sells tickets to help her raise the cash but when it turns out that Bobby’s house is not available for the party, Brian tricks Screech into unlocking the gym and allowing the party to be held in there.  When Belding shows up and demands to know what’s happening, Screech takes the blame and decides that he should return to Cal U.  And, really, he probably should have.  I mean, after all the years he spent with Zack, Screech should have been able to see that he was being manipulated.  What a moron.

But Brian does the right thing and tells the truth to Belding.  Brian and the Gang all get two-weeks detention.  Belding tells Screech that the students respect him and that he taught them an important lesson about the telling the truth.  I’m not sure how accurate any of that is but the important thing is that Screech stays at Bayside.

This episode was actually not as bad as I was expecting it to be.  Brian is a bit more likable than the first season’s Scott and this episode didn’t feature any of the mean-spiritedness that seemed to typify so much of the first season.  Even Screech was tolerable!

Don’t get used to it, though.  The season’s just getting started.

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 1.13 “Running the Max”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

Today, we finish up season one of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Episode 1.13 “Running The Max”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 4th, 1993)

The season one finale of Saved By The Bell: The New Class opens with Scott talking directly the audience.  Hey, that’s something that Scott hasn’t done for a while….

When he goes into his Social Studies class (which is being taught by Mr. Belding because Mr. Tuttle is appearing on Oprah to discuss teachers who overeat), he has to pick a group  to join.  Lindsay says, “Hey, Scott, why don’t you join us?”  She says it as if Scott is still a relatively new acquaintance as opposed to the friend who is always a part of the main group.

Despite having made up with each other several episodes ago, Scott and Tommy D suddenly don’t like each other again.

Vicki suddenly has a crush on Scott again, even though that plotline was abandoned episodes ago.

Weasel suddenly has a crush on Megan, despite the fact that plotline was also abandoned shortly after the first season started.

Oh, and Weasel is again making jokes that sound like they were originally written for Screech.

Watching this episode, it quickly becomes apparent that it was meant to air much earlier in the season but it was instead used as the season finale.  That says a lot about how shoddy the first season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class really was.  The finale was an episode that was originally meant to air when everyone was still getting to know one another.  Vicki’s crush on Scott is a major subplot in this episode, despite the fact that the writers eventually abandoned the idea.  By moving this episode to the end, the show wrecks havoc on its continuity but then again, when has continuity ever mattered at Bayside?

On top of all that, this is a dumb episode.  Three businesses agree to let the students run things for a week.  Who would agree to such a stupid idea?  Scott, Tommy, Megan, Weasel, Vicki, and Lindsay end up running the Max.  The Max appears to be open 24 hours a day so I’d love to know how they’re running the Max and still going to class.  For that matter, how are only six students going to run an entire restaurant?  Anyway, long story short: Scott is a bad boss, everyone quits except for Weasel (so, do they all fail the class?), but then they change their mind after they hear that Scott feels bad about his behavior.  The gang hosts a banquet for the football team.  Tommy comes up with the idea of turning into a Country-and-Western-themed barbecue.  Wait a minute — TOMMY’S ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM!  Why isn’t he at the banquet?

This was a dumb ending to a dumb season.  Half of the cast was fired at the end of season one.  Robert Sutherland Telfer, Isaac Lidsky, and Bonnie Russavage would not return as Scott, Weasel, and Vicki for season two.  (Indeed, none of their character would ever be mentioned again, despite Tommy D, Lindsay, and Megan still being around.)  I can’t say that I disagree with the decision.  Telfer was miscast as the new Zack Morris.  Russavage never made much of an impression.  (In all fairness, she wasn’t helped by the fact that the show’s writers didn’t really seem to know what to do with Vicki.)  Lidsky probably did as well as anyone could with the role of Weasel but, from the second season onward, Saved By The Bell didn’t need a new Screech.  New students would take their places and they would be joined by a familiar face.

We’ll start season two next week!