Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.8 “Miss Bayside”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Screech is a pawn yet again.

Episode 2.8 “Miss Bayside”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 27th, 1990)

It’s time for the annnual Miss Bayside pageant!

Jessie considers Miss Bayside to be sexist and she tries to organize a boycott.  Lisa says “No way.”  She wants to be Miss Bayside.  Lisa enters and so does Kelly because Kelly’s family is poor and she could really use the extra money that comes from being a beauty queen.  Finally, Jessie goes against her pledge not to compete and enters because she wants to teach everyone about inner beauty.

Zack bets Slater that he can make anyone into the next Miss Bayside.  Slater takes the bet on the condition that he get to pick the person.  And, of course, Slater picks Screech….

Oh, this episode.  When I talk about Dustin Diamond being too young to be on this show, this is the sort of epiosde that I’m talking about.  While Lisa, Jessie, Kelly, and eventually Slater all come across as being confident and happy while competing for the title of Miss Bayside, Screech looks awkward, embarrassed, and almost troll-like.  I’m not even a Screech fan (or a Dustin Diamond fan for that matter, God rest his soul) but even I felt bad for him when he walked out on stage in a 1920s-style bathing suit.  While everyone else on the episode was obviously closer to adulthood than childhood (i.e. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani Thiessen were both 16, and Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez were both 17), Dustin Diamond was 13 and looked even younger.  That gives this entire episode a bit of an icky feel.

Screech does win the pageant.  He wins because his robot, Kevin, accidentally gives him a black eye and Zack tells everyone that Slater did it.  Screech gets the sympathy vote.  Sorry, Lisa.  Your dreams don’t matter.  Sorry, Kelly.  I guess you’re never going to be able to afford college.  The importnat thing is that Screech won something that is definitely not going to lead to him being taunted later in life.

Other than Screech’s victory, this episode is remembered for two things.  First, Slater absolutely kills it when he plays the drums during the talent competition.  Secondly, Mr. Belding sings the Miss Bayside song.  Isn’t she he lovely/not even a girl….  It must be said that, judging from this episode, Belding has a terrible singing voice but at least he tries.

Slater should have been Miss Bayside.  We all know it.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/21/26 — 6/27/28


Bands of Enchantment (PBS)

On Friday night, I watched a performance by the band Pacifica.  They were okay.  I prefer louder music.

Bring Me The Beauties: The Model Cult (HBOMax)

I watched this 3-part docuseries on Monday.  It was yet another cult documentary.  This time, only good-looking people could join the cult.  That actually made sense to me.  If you’re a cult leader, why would you want to be surrounded by ugly people?

Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.

Election Coverage

I watched this latest primary results on Tuesday.  Ugh, the DSA in New York.  Never has a group of activist been both so charmless and so successful at the same time.  A lot of people are panicking about that but, honestly, if the DSA was going to win anywhere, it was going to be in New York.  I imagine they’ll do well in Denver next week as well.  DSA appeals to gentrifiers.  (I also remember that the DSA insurgency was declared dead after the primaries in Illinois so perhaps we should be careful about reading too much into any one night.)  It seems like after every “wave election,” there’s a few new congresspeople (and even senators) who end up self-destructing during their first  or second term, people like Katie Hill, George Santos, Madison Cawthorn, Cori Bush, and Jamaal Bowman.  This year, I’m putting my money on Dairaliza Avila Chevalier and, if he wins, Graham Platner as being the most likely to fall apart as soon as they arrive in Washington.

Homicide: Life On The Street (Peacock)

My review of this week’s episode will drop tomorrow.

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

My review of this weeks episode will drop later tonight.

Watched and Reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten,
  2. Baywatch,
  3. CHiPs,
  4. Crime Story,
  5. Decoy,
  6. Freddy’s Nightmares,
  7. Hunter,
  8. The Love Boat,
  9. Pacific Blue,
  10. Saved By The Bell: The New Class,
  11. St. Elsewhere

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.7 “The People’s Choice”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, Screech becomes a crusading editor.

Episode 2.7 “The People’s Choice”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 1st, 1994)

Feeling underappreciated at the high school, Screech asks to be made faculty advisor of the school paper.  With a staff made up of the Gang, Screech rejuvenates the paper.  Soon, he is directing an investigation into why there’s no money in the school’s athletic budget for the girl’s swim team to go to state.  Could it be because the misogynistic football coach (Brian Reddy) is a embezzling the money so the football team can go on a trip?

Unfortunately, everyone gets so involved in pursuing the story that they neglect their studies and they skip Mr. Belding’s college entrance exam review session!  Honestly, college entrance exams are incredibly easy and anyone who needs a review session to do well on them wasn’t going to get into a decent college anyways.  Seriously,  just blow all that off and go to a party school like I did.  GO MEAN GREEN!

Anyway, Screech realizes the error of his ways and puts the newspaper staff through a grueling review session.  Everyone does well on their exam.  And Screech disguises himself as an old man and tricks the coach into confessing his embezzlement!  The coach presumably works with Screech every day so how did he fall for a wig and a fake mustache?  Seriously, what is the deal with this show and disguises?

Despite the rather stupid plot, this episode wasn’t that bad.  Dustin Diamond actually gave a fairly believable performance as Screech and the ensemble had a good chemistry.  I’ll admit that I laughed at Tommy D’s attempts to be a food critic.  I bet we never hear about the newspaper again.

 

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.7 “Rent-A-Pop”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we meet two new characters.

Episode 2.7 “Rent-A-Pop”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 20th, 1990)

Remember how, in Junior High, Zack’s parents were divorced and his father was played by Robert Pine, the captain from CHiPs?  His father even dated Ms. Bliss at one point.  The relationship didn’t last because Zack, as usual, ruined everything by being a trouble maker.  Add to that, Ms. Bliss was her usual condescending self….

Well, forget about all that.

Zack lives in California now and his parents are still together.  His father, Derek Morris (John Sanderford), is now a computer salesman who played a little baseball in college and who is always on his big mobile phone.  When Zack tries to tell Derek about how he’s struggling in school, Derek waves him off so that he can take a business call.

Zack has a problem.  He wants to go on the class ski trip.  However, he’s failing all of his classes and Belding wants to see his father.  Luckily, the Max’s new waiter, James (Mark Blankfield), just happens to be an unemployed actor who has nothing better to do than help out a bunch of teenagers who are about 30 years younger than him.  Zack’s plan is for James to pretend to be Mr. Belding and to assure Zack’s father that Zack is doing well in school.  Then, James will switch and pretend to be Zack’s father for the official meeting with Belding.  Does all that sound way too complicated?  Well, it is.  Zack never came up with a plan that wasn’t ludicrously complicated.  In this case, it involves faking a Chess Club poisoning so that Belding won’t be in his office when Derek arrives.

Meanwhile, there’s a school carnival going on in the gym.  Oh no!  Look over at the dunk tank!  There’s the real Derek Morris getting ready to throw baseballs at the real Mr. Belding!

“Who is this jerk?” Derek asks after dunking Mr. Belding.

Mr. Belding introduces himself.  Derek learns the truth.  Zack is grounded but Derek learns an important lesson about spending too much time on the phone.

I have to admit that this episode is a favorite of mine.  That’s largely due to the performances of Mark Blankfield and John Sanderford, both of whom are now deceased.  (Sanderford passed in 2023 and Blankfield in 2024.)  Both actors bring some much needed new energy to the show.  Blankfield’s performance is broad but funny.  Sanderford’s performance, quite appropriately, is a bit more grounded in reality.  My favorite moment in this episode is when Derek Morris notices Mr. Belding’s computer and announces, “I sell these,” before then asking James a lot of questions about it.  James’s confusion was perfectly played by Mark Blankfield and it was impossible not to smile about how enthusiastic Derek got about potentially making a sale.  Even at a meeting to discuss his son’s academic record, Derek was always looking for an opportunity.  That’s the sign of a great salesman and a potentially lousy father.

Both Derek Morris and James the Actor would return and why not?  This episode provided them with a great introduction.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/14/26 — 6/20/26


Buskers (PBS)

This documentary was about …. well, it’s right there in the title.  One man performed card tricks.  A woman played a saw like a violin.  Another woman wrote poems on a typewriter in the park.  A man danced on a subway train.  The documentary was an interesting look at a group of unique Americans.  Unfortunately, I watched it rather late at night so my eyelids were heavy during the majority of the show.

Degrassi: The Next Generation (Tubi)

My review will drop tomorrow.

Homicide: Life on the Street (Peacock TV)

My review will drop tomorrow.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)

There’s just no stopping those dinosaurs!

The Larry Sanders Show (HBOMax)

Hank’s Sex Tape!  Oh my God, what a cringey episode.  When a sex tape featuring Hank Kingsley starts to circulate in Hollywood, it threatens Hank’s new job as an orange juice commercial spokesman.  Henry Winkler and Norm MacDonald appear as themselves and have a classic conversation about Hank and …. well, you can watch the episode and see for yourself.  Why is this episode so funny and so cringey?  Hank is played by Jeffrey Tambor.  “Wash your mouth out with Hank.”  AGCK!

Saved By The Bell (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 90 minutes.

UFC Freedom 250 (Paramount Plus)

I’ll just go ahead and tick everyone off by admitting that I enjoyed the spectacle and the unique silliness of UFC on the White House lawn.  Yes, there were some regrettable moments.  If you were annoyed by the comment about a certain former first lady, you had every right to be.  It was a stupid thing to yell and unnecessarily divisive.  But, at its heart, the event itself was pure Americana.  Abraham Lincoln’s favorite sport was wrestling.  Teddy Roosevelt loved boxing.  Richard Nixon was a bowler.  There’s actually a long history of this sort of thing.

Watched and Reviewed:

  1. 1st & Ten,
  2. Baywatch,
  3. CHiPs,
  4. Crime Story,
  5. Decoy,
  6. Freddy’s Nightmares,
  7. Hunter,
  8. The Love Boat,
  9. Pacific Blue
  10. Saved By The Bell: The New Class,
  11. St. Elsewhere

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s a 4th of July episode that aired in September.

Episode 2.6 “Brian’s Girlfriend”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 24th, 1994)

Oh Hell, it’s another country club episode.

The country club is having a tip competition for the 4th of July.  Whoever gets the most tips will have their earnings matched by the club.  Megan wants to win so she can send her parents on a cruise.  (How did Bayside go from being a school full of wealthy trust fund brats to one full of poor people?)  Bobby decides to give her all of his tips so she can win.  That sounds like cheating to me.

Meanwhile, due to Screech’s stupidity, Mr. Belding ends up with a terrible sunburn.  (Screech was supposed to bring the sunscreen but he brought salad dressing instead.)  This leads to countless scenes of Screech slapping Belding on the back and causing him agonizing pain.  Ha ha, I guess.

Meanwhile, Brian makes Rachel jealous by pretending to like the new tennis instructor (Brittney Powell).  She likes him too, even though he’s like 16.  When a guilt-stricken Brian finally admits that he was only pretending to like her, the tennis instructor says, “You’re a jerk!” and she’s right.  But I guess it doesn’t matter because Brian’s plan works and he and Rachel end up sharing a kiss while watching the 4th of July fireworks.

What type of show airs their 4th of July episode in September?

The country club episodes are so annoying.  If I wanted to watch people work, I could just go hang out at Target for 30 minutes.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.6 “Blind Dates”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Mr. Belding is desperately trying to find someone to date his niece. Meanwhile, Zack is trying to avoid being suspended….

Episode 2.6 “Blind Dates”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 13th, 1990)

Mr. Belding needs someone to go on a blind date with his niece Penny but every guy at the school screams in horror at the idea. However, Zack has just received his tenth detention and is facing the prospect of being suspended for a week. Belding makes Zack an offer that he can’t refuse. If Zack goes on a date with Penny, he won’t be suspended. This sounds like the type of thing that could get Belding fired but instead, Zack agrees to go on the date….

Except Zack already has plans for that night! Kelly is having her birthday party at the Max!

Zack’s solution? Put a blonde wig on Screech and have him take Penny on the date.

I notice that Zack’s solutions always seem to involve Screech pretending to be someone other than Screech. Penny (Jodi Peterson) turns out to be a totally normal girl and she has a great time with Screech when they go to …. Kelly’s birthday party! Of course, Penny thinks Screech is Zack and that Zack is Screech and just writing all of this is making my head hurt. When Kelly finds out that Penny is planning on going home with “Zack,” Kelly calls her “an un-nice person,” which is a pretty neat turn of phrase. But then Kelly learns the truth and, to Slater’s chagrin, Kelly falls even more in love with Zack.

Meanwhile, Jessie freaks out because her blind date, Brett (Timothy Williams), is several inches shorter than her. I have to say that Jessie’s recurring insecurity about being tall was one of the few things that Saved By The Bell consistently handled well. (It certainly handled it better than her later caffeine pill addiction.) Brett was adorable and it was kind of sweet that he eventually won Jessie over just by being a really cool guy.

Jessie’s storyline aside, this is the type of Saved By The Bell episode that drives me crazy. Most of the conflict — actually, all of the conflict — could have been avoided by everyone just not being an idiot. It’s hard to believe that Zack couldn’t come up with a solution to his problems that didn’t involve putting a blonde wig on Screech. I get that Belding was desperate to find a date for Penny but the idea that he would turn to Zack, even under the most extreme of circumstances, seemed like a reach.

Probably the funniest moment in this episode was when Zack learned he had received his tenth detention and everyone in the studio audience groaned. Don’t worry, folks. Zack will be okay!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.5 “Squash It”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

Hey, it’s time for yet another school carnival!

Episode 2.5 “Squash It”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 25th, 1994)

Because no one at this school actually has to go to class or anything, it’s time for the annual Bayside carnival!  Who will win the prize for best booth?

Will it be Tommy and Lindsay’s kissing booth?  Neither Tommy nor Lindsay are happy about the idea of either one of them kissing anyone else.  So why did they agree to a kissing booth in the first place?

Will it be Rachel and Brian’s dunk tank?  When Belding comes down with a cold, Brian takes Belding’s place as the dunkee.  Everyone wants to dunk Brian because he’s spent a week deliberately insulting everyone.  However, Brian has rigged the tank so he won’t fall in the water.  “You forgot to release the safety!”  Belding says, not realizing that there’s a reason for that.  Uh-oh.  Soon, Brian is soaked and the audience is saying, “Woooo!”

Will it be Megan and Bobby’s mind-reading booth?  Let’s hope not because that’s really dumb.  Bobby also has to remove his mind-reading turban so he can fight a bully.  Fortunately, Screech has taught him karate!

I know this all sounds terrible but this is actually a pretty cute episode.  Instead of being Screech-centered, this episode actually allows every member of the cast to have at least one moment to shine.  (I hate to keep pointing this out but the season 2 cast has a far more appealing chemistry than the season 1 cast.)  Even Screech teaching Bobby karate is amusing.  There’s nothing subtle about Dustin Diamond’s performance but, for once, the broad humor actually works.  Add to that, Bobby learns how to fight but then he chooses not to.  Hey, that’s actually a good lesson, even if it is a bit anticlimatic.

We never learn who wins the Best Booth prize.  I would have given it to Brian and Rachel.  They’re a cute couple, even if they’re not technically dating.  (It also helps if you don’t think about the fact that there was a 8 year age-difference between the actors.)

All in all, this was a good episode.  I’m as shocked as anyone.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.5 “House Party”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Screech’s parents are gone.  It’s time to party like Elvis!

Episode 2.5 “House Party”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 6th, 1990)

Mrs. Powers (Ruth Buzzi) and her husband go to Graceland for their anniversary, leaving Screech alone for a few days.  It’s time to have the boys over so that they can lip-sync to the Beach Boys!  Unfortunately, when the girls come over to laugh at the boys, a bust of Elvis is shattered.  It’ll cost $250 to replace!  Despite the fact that all of the main characters — with the exception of Kelly and Slater — come from wealthy families, everyone claims to not have any money.  You know who does have money?  Max Nerdstrom (Jeff Asch)!  Max also has a girlfriend named Violet (Tori Spelling), who has a crush on Screech.  (Or Samuel, as she calls him.)

This is an important episode in the history of Saved By The Bell, in that it not only introduces us to Violet Bickerstaff but it also establishes that Tori Spelling was bad actress even before she was cast on 90210.  (If anything, Spelling is actually better-cast as Violet than as Donna Martin because Violet was at least supposed to be awkward and cringey.)  This episode also introduced us to Max Nerdstrom, a great character who only appeared once but who should have been a regular member of the cast.  That said, it’s also obvious that the only reason this episode was made was so Slater, Screech, and Zack could do the Barbara Ann scene.  It’s all pretty obviously ripped off from Risky Business, just without the prostitutes and Tangerine Dream soundtrack.

How to raise the money to replace the statue?  Zack challenged Max to a poker game and ends up losing not only another $250 but also the Powers family dog.  If Zack had $250 to lose in a poker game, how come he didn’t have it to buy a new Elvis?  Seriously, don’t try to follow Bayside logic.  Jessie has to go on a date with Max in order to get the dog bac and Zack throws a party to raise money for the new statue.  Mrs. Powers arrives home early and announces that she told Screech that he wasn’t allowed to throw any parties.  Zack announces that it’s a surprise anniversary party for Mrs. Powers and her husband (who is apparently just sitting out in the car while all this is going on).  Why would a bunch of teenagers throw an anniversary party for a 50-something Elvis fan?

Bayside logic, baby!

It still a cute episode.

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.4 “Blood Money”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s time to learn a lesson about giving blood.

Episode 2.4 “Blood Money”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

Megan is running the school blood drive but no one wants to give blood.  Mr. Belding tries to teach everyone a lesson by volunteering but he’s informed by nurse Penny Brady (Emma Caulfield) that he has high cholesterol.  Not only does Belding need to start an exercise regimen but he’s apparently too fat to chaperone the school’s hiking trip.

Not wanting the school’s butch gym teacher to chaperone the trip, Brian decides that Screech should be the chaperone.  However, Screech is depressed because he has a crush on Penny but he can’t work up the courage to ask her out.  Brian tells Penny that he’ll get everyone in the school to donate blood if she agrees to go out with Screech….

Ugh.  This is another Screech-is-in-love episode.  Dustin Diamond was nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons but still, watching the previously asexual Screech date someone is not a pleasant experience.  Penny discovers that she actually likes Screech (why?) but then Screech hears that she was bribed to go out with him and he gets his feelings hurt.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HIKING TRIP?

Seriously, screw the hiking trip.  Why is this school always sponsoring a trip somewhere?  Just give people their diplomas and stay out of their lives….

Oh no, Tommy D’s previously unseen best friend was in a motorcycle accident!  And he has a very rare blood type!  Only Screech can save him!  Screech gives blood, everyone apologizes for setting him up, and Screech agrees to chaperone the trip and to continue dating Penny.  I’m going to guess that didn’t last since Screech ended up dating Allison while working at the country club over the summer.

Meanwhile, some poor biker has gallons of Screech inside of him.

What an episode.  The whole problem with the first season is that the students were not very likable.  Now, the show actually has likable students but all of the attention is on Screech.  It’s like this show just wanted to fail!