Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This episode, Zack does some research on his family tree.  Things are about to get supercringey.

Episode 2.12 “Running Zack”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 24th, 1990)

Ms. Wentworth (Carol Lawrence), who is a slightly less sociopathic version of Ms. Bliss, has assigned everyone to do a report on their family tree.  She hands out grades based on what people discover about their family’s past.  I’m not sure if that’s really a good idea.  What if someone comes from a family that doesn’t have any dark secrets?  And really, if your family did have a dark secret, what business is it of Ms. Wentworth’s?

Lisa reveals that her family escaped slavery and then helped over slaves escape as well.  “My family calls the Underground Railroad the original Soul Train,” she says.

Jessie discovers that her family was made up of slave traders.  Jessie proceeds to have a breakdown, even though Lisa says that Jessie shouldn’t feel responsible for anything that her ancestors did.  To a lot of people, that probably sounds like common sense but it’s also the type of sentiment that now gets you cancelled on Bluesky.

Screech reveals that he’s Italian and his ancestors were all great lovers.  “What is mi grade?” Screech asks.  “A!” Ms. Wentworth says with a dramatic flourish.

We never learn about Slater’s family tree, despite the fact that, along with Lisa, he’s one of the few characters who is obviously not a generic white person.  However, we do learn about Zack’s family background.  Looking through the family records, he finds one picture of an Indian.  Zack promptly declares himself to be a Native American.  However, when Zack can’t even answer a few basic questions about his family’s background, Ms. Wentworth threatens to flunk him.  But if Zack flunks, how will he compete at the track meet!?  Bayside has never beat Valley …. in track, at least.

Ms. Wentworth sends Zack to meet Chief Henry (Dehl Berti, who, unlike Mark-Paul Gosselaar, actually was of Native American ancestry), an American Indian who apparently lives in a cluttered shack.  Chief Henry takes one look at the picture and is able to identify Zack’s ancestor by name.  He also gives Zack the name “Running Zack.”  He helps Zack to appreciate his Native heritage.  And then Chief Henry promptly dies offscreen.

Zack isn’t sure that he can run in the track meet.  He’s feeling pretty depressed about the death of the old man he met twice.  Chief Henry’s ghost appears to Zack and tells him to run because beating Valley is obviously the most important thing.  Zack agrees to go to the track meet and Henry vanishes.  Zack’s Native American ancestry is never mentioned again.

This episode is the equivalent of those old DNA test commercials where an extremely white person would say that their DNA test revealed that they were 2% Native American and that it had changed their entire life.  As I rewatched it for this review, I couldn’t help but think about Elizabeth Warren, whose claims of Native American ancestry were even flimsier than Zack’s.  I found myself thinking about the fact that there’s actually a name — Pretendian — for generic white people who try to be more interesting by falsely claiming Native heritage.  What’s funny is that Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s actual heritage — Dutch and Jewish on his father’s side, Indonesian on his mother’s side — is actually pretty interesting.  But, in this episode, it’s revealed that Zack is Nez Perce.  (Though the tribe isn’t named, Zack’s ancestor is described as being one of Chief Joseph’s main warriors.)

Gosselaar used to refer to this as being his favorite episode of Saved By The Bell.  In 2016, he changed his tune and said that the episode actually was insensitive to Native Americans.  Gosselaar’s correct about that.  Even after Ms. Wentworth tells Zack that his original presentation was disrespectful to the memory of his ancestor, she still calls him “kimosabe.”  At no point does Zack show any curiosity as to why he had never heard much about his Native ancestry to begin with.  And, needless to say, it’s never mentioned again.  Like, ever.  Seriously, I had a friend who, in 2007, discovered that she was 98% European and 2% North African and she hasn’t shut up about it in nearly 20 years.

The main problem with this episode is that Chief Henry conveniently dies off-screen, despite there not being any indication that he was in any way unhealthy.  We never learn what Henry died of.  Instead, he shows up long enough to teach Zack a lesson and then he dies so that the show doesn’t have to worry about bringing him back in the future.  Zack declares that he might not run the track meet.  Ms. Wentworth sobs.  Well, at least Ms. Wentworth actually knew Chief Henry.  Zack really seems like he’s just being performative about it.

Myself, I’m Irish on my father’s side and Italian/Spanish on my mother’s side.  I would have definitely gotten an A in Ms. Wentworth’s class.