Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 1.17 “The Last Kill”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter helps an ex-girlfriend.

Episode 1.17 “The Last Kill”

(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on April 20th, 1985)

Internationally famous model Christine Le Masters (Stephanie Blackmore) thinks that her husband, Kerry (Madison Mason), is cheating on her. Christine tells Kerry that she’s heading to the airport to catch a flight for Europe and a new ad campaign. Instead, she follows Kerry when he heads over to a cheap motel. Christine is expecting to catch her husband with his mistress. Instead, she finds a prostitute who has been shot in the back of the head by a hitman.

Not wanting her husband to know that she lied about leaving the country, Christine goes to an ex-boyfriend for help. The name of that ex-boyfriend? Rick Hunter.

Hunter and McCall do investigate and discover that the prostitute is just one of many low-level criminals who have apparently all been killed by the same assassin. Hunter uses his little-mentioned mob contacts to dig into the murders and finds out that there’s a hitman named George who has been killing everyone involved in a plot to blackmail a mob boss. However, George appears to be doing this out of the kindness of his heart. Hunter suspects that George is just trying to get close to the mob boss so that he can kill him. He also suspects that George is actually Kerry Le Masters!

Is Hunter just jealous that Kerry is married to his ex-girlfriend, or is he correct about Kerry being a killer? It turns out that both things can be true! Don’t worry, though. Even though Kerry is holding a gun at his wife’s head at the time, Hunter is still able to shoot him without hurting Christine. Hunter tells police dispatch to send “the coroner’s wagon.” The police dispatcher doesn’t sound surprised. Hunter kills an average of three people a day.

This episode never really made it clear why Kerry would decide to become a hitman in the first place. I mean, he’s already rich. But I did appreciate that the Hunter family’s mob ties were mentioned again and that we got to learn a little about his past. When Kerry told Hunter that the two of them were heading for a standoff that only one would survive, Hunter replied, “Works for me.” It was a cool moment on an otherwise standard episode of Hunter.

Retro Television Review: Harry’s Battles 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  This Thursday, I will be reviewing Harry’s Battles, which aired its only episode on ABC in 1981.  The show can be found on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Adam Rafkin, aired on June 8th, 1981)

Harry Fitzsimmons (Dick Van Dyke) is a grocery store manager who doesn’t understand why life has to be so complicated. During the opening credits, we watch as a gas station attendant (Joe Regalbuto) changes the price of unleaded while Harry is filling up his tank. We watch as the car-wash guy (Joe Regalbuto again) changes the radio station in his car. We watch as a postman (played by, you guessed it, Joe Regalbuto) clumsily tosses Harry’s package into the street after Harry tells him that it’s fragile.

Harry is easily frustrated, and anyone who has ever had to deal with any sort of bureaucracy will be able to understand where he’s coming from. In this episode, he and his wife, Mary Carol (Connie Stevens), are planning a night at the theater with their best friends, Herb (Danny Wells) and Diane (Marley Sims). They’re going to see Kate Jackson in Evita. But then Mary Carol gets something in her eye, and Harry decides to run her by the emergency room to get it checked out. It should only take a few minutes….

Two hours later, Harry is demanding to know where his wife is, the nurse on duty (Brooke Alderson) is more interested in talking on the phone than talking to him, and Dr. Harwood (Joe Regalbuto) is making jokes like, “We may lose patients on the operating table but not in the halls.”

It turns out the ER is short-staffed because everyone is at a party for the departing head of psychiatry. Harry talks to the incoming head of psychiatry, Dr. Jorgensen (David Ruprecht), who starts talking about the wrath that he’s going to bring down on the world. Only Harry seems to notice that the incoming head of psychiatry is apparently insane.

When Dr. Harwood announces that he’s found Harry’s wife, he rolls out an elderly woman (Florence Halop) in a wheelchair. When Harry insists that the woman is not his wife, both Dr. Harwood and the nurse reply that the woman is named “Mrs. Fitzsimmons” and therefore she is Harry’s wife. Eventually the woman announces that she’s escaping and rolls out of the hospital. Only then does it occur to the doctor and the nurse that the woman might not be Harry’s wife despite her last name. They have a good laugh over it.

When Mary Carol is finally found, she’s on a gurney and can barely walk or talk because of the painkillers she’s been given for her broken collarbone. “See,” Harwood says, looking at the X-ray, “look at that finger-shaped bone!” “That is my finger!” Mary Carol finally manages to say. Harry loses it and accuses Dr. Harwood of being incompetent. The doctor responds that not everyone can afford to go to the theater and that he is proud to be a doctor for those people. All of the patients in the ER applaud….

I’ve watched a lot of pilots for this feature and most of them are pretty bad. Harry’s Battles is actually really good and still funny and relatable nearly 45 years after it first aired. (It’s amazing to think that Dick Van Dyke, who was in his fifties when he did this pilot, is still with us.) Harry’s anger is the anger that everyone feels while dealing with incompetence. His frustration with paperwork and bureaucratic nonsense remains relatable. If anything, it’s probably even more relatable today than when this pilot first aired. We live in an overly regulated society and, sadly, there are a lot of people currently running for office who want to make things even more regulated. Dick Van Dyke may be a DSA supporter, but Harry Fitzsimmons definitely would have known better. I also really like the idea of Joe Regalbuto playing everyone who annoys Harry. Watching this pilot, it was easy to imagine week after week of various Regalbuto characters making Harry’s life difficult.

Sadly, this pilot was not turned into a television series. If Harry’s Battles had become a series, it probably would have been a classic. As it is, we’ve got this one episode that encourages us to consider what could have been.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.13 “The High and Mighty”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

The undefeated season continues!

Episode 4.13 “The High and Mighty”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on December 28th, 1988)

In this week’s episode, we watch as the Bulls fly to and then from their latest game.

On the flight to the game, Denardo worries about whether or not he has what it takes to eventually win the Championship game.  (That’s this show’s equivalent of the Super Bowl.)  On the flight back, Denardo’s confidence has been restored and he can’t wait to start planning for the big game.

TD Parker (played by OJ Simpson) spends the flight back flirting with a flight attendant.  OJ Simpson’s performance in this episode is perhaps the worst that he’s given since he first joined the cast.  I think the problem is that Parker is supposed to be drunk and Simpson was incapable of playing any emotion or condition beyond bland amiability.

Bubba is terrified of flying and has a nightmare that Mad Dog is flying the plane.

Zagrib and a ringer (James Hampton) hustle all of the players in a poker game on the first flight.  On the return flight, Zagrib loses all of the money he won and then begs Mad Dog not to kill him.  Mad Dog says that he won’t hurt Zagrib because the team needs a good kicker.

Executives Gail (Shanna Reed) and Michael (Paul Tuerpe) argue over where the new Bulls Stadium should be located.  Michael thinks that he has found the perfect spot but, on the flight back, Gail lies to him and tells him that the spot used to be a toxic waste dump.  Michael calls the head of the Dodds Corporation and tries to take credit for finding the location where Gail wants to put the stadium.  This storyline would have been more effective if Michael and Gail were interesting characters.

Finally, Doug falls for an obsessive flight attendant who later tells him that she poisoned his coffee.  Doug panics, though he doesn’t actually die or anything so I think she was just lying to him.

I actually kind of liked this episode because I thought it was interesting to see how the members of the team distracted themselves before the game and how they celebrated after they won.  This episode was all about big personalities in a confined location and, with the exception of OJ, it featured some fine ensemble work from the cast.  Considering how much this show has struggled with finding a consistent tone from not only episode-to-episode but also from scene-to-scene, this was an unusually disciplined episode.

Next week, we finish up the fourth season!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.7 “And One to Grow On/Seems Like Old Times/I’ll Never Forget What’s Her Name”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s love!  Welcome aboard, it’s love!

Episode 8.7 “And One to Grow On/Seems Like Old Times/I’ll Never Forget What’s Her Name”

(Dir by Jack Arnold, originally aired on October 27th, 1984)

Ruth Justin (Morgan Brittany) boards the ship with her ex-fiancée, Arthur (Richard Kline).  Arthur has been suffering from amnesia ever since Ruth ended their engagement and Ruth hopes that she can help cure his condition by taking a cruise with him.  But what if Arthur is just faking his condition because he wants to get back together with Ruth?

Private detective Johnny Bonilla (Alex Rocco) boards the ship with his client, Deborah Marshall (Joan Van Ark).  Deborah hired Johnny to help her tack down Larry Peters (Robert Reed), a man who she once had a crush on.  But what if Larry is just an overage playboy and Johnny is the one who truly loves Deborah?

Those two stories, while handled competently, were pretty much just standard Love Boat plotlines.  The story that one truly remembers from this episode belongs to Vicki and Captain Stubing.  Vicki is finally turning 18 and the Captain throws her a big surprise party on the boat.  Vicki is happy and the Captain is proud …. or, at least, he is until he catches Vicki with a bottle of champagne.  The Captain ends up yelling at Vicki.  Vicki runs off, with tears in her eyes.  Doc Bricker suggests that it’s time that the Captain tell Vicki the truth about his alcoholism.

Captain Stubing is scared to do so.   He fears that, if he tells Vicki that he was an angry drunk who once nearly hit a kid while driving while intoxicated, she’ll lose all respect for him.  But, in a wonderfully-acted scene, Stubing does tell her.  And, once the shock wears off, Vicki comes to see her father as being more of a hero than ever.  She now understands why the Captain doesn’t drink and, importantly, the Captain himself understands why he overreacted to seeing Vicki tipsy.

In the past, I’ve always wondered about whether or not Vicki had a life outside of the ship and, to be honest, I still wonder that.  Even when she celebrates her 18th birthday, there’s no one her own age around.  Instead, she celebrates with the much older crew and a bunch of elderly passengers.  That doesn’t seem quite fair to Vicki.  Because The Love Boat is …. well, the Love Boat, it’s easy to ignore the fact that Vicki pretty much gave up her childhood to work on a cruise ship.

That said, Captain Stubing and Vicki’s father-daughter relationship has always, somewhat surprisingly, been one of the strongest elements of The Love Boat and that’s almost entirely due to the performances of Gavin MacLeod and Jill Whelan.  One sees that in this episode.  Gavin MacLeod was a recovering alcoholic in real life and his performance the scene in which he talks to Vicki about his struggles has an authenticity to it that keeps it from getting mawkish or preachy.

(I cried as I watched.  I’m missing my dad today.)

This was a good cruise, even if Ace was strangely not on the boat this week.  Where were you Ace?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.15 “Stargazer”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Pacific Blue is all about the guest stars,

Episode 4.15 “Stargazer”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on January 24th, 1999)

When he was younger, Johnny Osiris (Danny Bonaduce) was a teen idol and the star of Stargazer,  a show about a singing family that lived in outer space.  As an adult, Johnny is a drug addict and an alcoholic who can’t pay his rent and who eventually turns to robbing stores and pharmacies.  It’s difficult to be a criminal when everyone immediately recognizes you.  However, when both he and Steve Gugliermo (Noah Blake) try to rob the same pharmacy at the same time, they decide to team up.  Of course, Steve is hardened master criminal while Johnny is still an amateur.

This was a bit of a melancholy episode.  Chris and Cory can’t say Johnny’s name without screaming but they’re still trying to put him in jail.  The younger cops don’t have the slightest idea who Johnny was.  As for Johnny, his criminal career makes him a celebrity again but the episode still ends with him heading off for prison.  Along with Bonaduce, the episode features Susan Olsen as Johnny’s sister, Erik Estrada as Johnny’s lawyer, and Adam West as Johnny’s father.  The entire thing is full of actors who probably never thought they would someday be appearing on a show about cops who rode bikes.  The whole thing feels sad.

This episode also firmly establishes that Cory and Bobby are now a couple and that everyone pretty much knows about it.  Hey, Victor’s dead so I guess Cory might as well move on.  Still, some of the scenes of Bobby and Cory making out generated some heat.  They’re a good couple so hopefully, the show won’t screw things up.

This episode also featured a discussion of sex-ceptions, i.e. celebrities that you’re allowed to fool around with even if you’re already in a relationship.  For Chris, her sex-ception was Johnny Osiris, though it never actually came down to that.  For Cory, it was Mel Gibson.  Granger selected Winona Ryder, Bobby went with Salma Hayek, and Jamie said Denzel Washington.  Myself, I have to wonder why they assumed Salma Hayek or Denzel Washington would have anything to do with a Santa Monica bicycle cop.

Anyway, this is kind of a depressing episode.  Johnny was a star but then his entire life fell apart when he wasn’t.  He made a few bad decisions and he never recovered.  He should have auditioned for Baywatch.  Live and learn.

 

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.14 “Farewell Dance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

Yay!  It’s the final country club episode!

Episode 2.14 “Farewell Dance”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 22nd, 1994)

The summer is coming to an end and so is the gang’s indentured servitude at the Palisades Country Club.  The farewell dance approaches and with it comes the hope of romance and the pain of the heartbreak.

For instance, Bobby pretends to be rich so that snobby club member Michele (Ebonie Smith) will go to the dance with him.  Michele loves it when Bobby talks about how his father is a millionaire who owns a private jet and hangs out with the Queen of England.  But when Lindsay points out that Michele isn’t falling for the real Bobby, Bobby decides to tell Michele the truth.  Michele dumps Bobby and apparently, we’re meant to see Bobby as the victim here.  Bobby shouts that he wouldn’t ever go on a date with a girl who refuses to date poor people.  Uhmm, Bobby, have you considered that maybe she just refuses to date liars?  Anyway, as often happened on any episode where Bobby or Megan even thought about dating anyone who wasn’t listed in the opening credits, Bobby and Megan ended up going to the dance together.

Meanwhile, Screech is upset because Allison is going to be moving to New York to attend Julliard.  Screech announces that he’s going to go to New York with her, even though that means he won’t get his degree.  (Can’t Screech just transfer to a school in New Yor?)  Allison decides that she can’t go to Julliard because it would mean Screech giving up his dreams.  (“You have a future with Mr. Belding and Bayside,” Allison tells him.  Uhmm ….. what?)  Screech realizes that Allison has to pursue her dreams so he tells her to go to New York without him.  Allison plays Screech a really bland piano piece that she wrote for him and then they share a final dance.

The main problem with this episode …. oh Hell, you know what the main problem was.  The main problem’s initials are D and D.  Dustin Diamond gives such a cartoonish performance that it’s hard to believe that Allison would have ever fallen for him in the first place.  There are no emotional stakes when it comes to any story involving Screech because there’s nothing real about Screech.  As a character, he’s the equivalent of Bobby’s father’s private jet.

All that said, at least the county club episodes are over with!  Yay!  Always be thankful for the little things.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 6.4 “Rock Devil Rock”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch learns about shock rock!

Episode 6.4 “Rock Devil Rock”

(Dir by John Astin, originally aired on October 31st, 1982)

It’s a Halloween episode of CHiPs!

Moloch (Don Most) is a singer who wears frightful makeup and sings songs like “Devil Take Me” but, once he takes off the makeup, he’s a rather meek and mild-mannered drummer who feels that he’s been forced to embrace an image that doesn’t fit him.  His manager (Peter Marshall) is convinced that Moloch can be the biggest star ever.  His manager is also trying to kill Moloch in order to guarantee that Moloch’s new record will hit the top of the charts.  He’s even included backwards messages in Moloch’s music.  Moloch will die …. Moloch will die….

Most of the Highway Patrol believes that Moloch is faking the numerous attempts on his life.  However, Ponch believes that Moloch is being targeted.  Luckily, Ponch is able to save Moloch because this is….

The Highway Patrol also holds their annual Halloween party.  Elvira, Mistress of the Dark shows up as herself and shares a dance with Ponch.  Ponch dresses up like a matador.  Bobby shows up as a Musketeer.  Getraer dresses up like General Patton but he doesn’t get to dance with Elvira.  That’s Ponch’s job.

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.15 “Torello on Trial”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Luca prepares for Vegas.

Episode 1.15 “Torello On Trial”

(Dir by Gary Sinise, originally aired on January 16th, 1987)

Buh-bye, Chicago!

Seriously, this is a huge episode.

It doesn’t start out as a huge episode.  It starts out as just another courtroom drama.  Mike Torello has been called by Ray Luca’s defense attorney to testify about the accusations that Frank Homan made against him.  By defending himself against Homan’s false claim that Torello was on the take, Torello will also be destroying the credibility of the state’s case against Luca, Phil Bartoli, and Paulie.  Torello’s not happy about it.  He’s even less happy when U.S. Attorney Brietel’s aggressive cross-examination reveals that Torello actually does have several acquaintances who are connected to the mob.  Of course, most of those acquaintances have been killed over the past few episodes.  As Brietel puts it, violence tends to follow Torello around.

Fortunately, the next day, David Abrams requests to be allowed to cross-examine Torello.  David reveals that Torello was a decorated soldier in Korea.  He reveals the Torello has been given regular commendations by the Chicago Police Department.  David makes Torello look like a saint.

As a result, the jury decides that Homan is not a credible witness.  Luca, Paulie, and Bartoli are all acquitted.  Brietel is told that the Justice Department has decided to drop the indictment against Torello.  Torello tells Brietel that the blood of anyone killed by Luca will be on his hands.  Brietel is not having a good day.

The first 35 minutes or so of this episode were solid but still felt like a standard and slightly predictable episode of Crime Story.  It wasn’t until the last 10 minutes or so that this episode really took off.

At a conference held immediately after Luca and company are acquitted, Manny Weisbrod convinces Chicago gangster Dom Tranchita (Joseph Ragno) to agree to invest ten million dollars in Luca’s plan to take over Las Vegas.  In return for the money, Manny agrees to allow Dom to continue to deal drugs in Chicago.  Luca and Paulie make plans to immediately head to Las Vegas to start their new lives.

The night, before leaving town, Luca drops in on Tranchita and shoots him dead.  Then, Luca goes over to Bartoli’s house and kills him as well.  We’re reminded that Luca is someone who can kill without hesitation.  It doesn’t matter that he and Bartoli worked together.  Luca is cleaning up all of the loose ends before he leaves Chicago.

Meanwhile, Torello is invited to a meeting in a hotel.  U.S. Deputy Attorney General Patrick Hallahan (Jann Wenner) tells him that the Justice Department is setting up a national task force to take down Luca and that it’s going to be headquartered in Chicago and Las Vegas.  He asks Torello to be in charge of it.  Torello says that he has no interest in working with the same Justice Department that tried to throw him in prison.  Hallahan reveals that Brietel has been “reassigned to Anchorage” and that David Abrams will be working with Torello.  The members of the Major Crimes Unit will be reassigned to the strike force.

There’s only one condition.  As much as Torello wants to take Luca down, he’s going to have to wait until he has enough evidence to take down the entire organization with him.

Torello nods.  He’s going to Vegas!

It makes sense really.  Torello has nothing left in Chicago.  He’s divorced, he has no real friends outside of the other members of the Major Crimes Unit.  Torello’s only purpose in life is to stop Ray Luca.  What choice does Torello have but to follow him to Vegas?  Torello is obsessed and, if he had to stay in Chicago while Luca went to Vegas, he would have been miserable.  It’s good for the government and good for the show that Torello agreed to take charge of the task force.  But, as the episode ends, it’s hard not to feel that it won’t be good for Torello’s mental health.

This turned out to be a great episode,  To be honest, I was starting to get a little bit bored with Crime Story.  But now, with the story heading in a new direction, I can’t wait to see what happens!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 5.21 “Partners And Other Strangers”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, we discover that Daniel Baldwin will not be returning to Homicide.

Episode 5.21 “Partners and Other Strangers”

(Dir by Leslie Libman and Larry Williams, originally aired on May 9th, 1997)

A call to investigate what appears to be a suicide leads Pembleton and Brodie to an isolated house in Baltimore.  The dead man has been found with a shotgun in his hands and his face blown apart.  It’s not until Pembleton looks at the dead man’s ID that he discovers that the man is former Detective Beau Felton.

Played by Daniel Baldwin, Felton was originally a major character on Homicide.  He was the cynical, sweaty detective who had an affair with Megan Russert, a partnership with Kay Howard, and a marriage with a crazy woman who wouldn’t let him see his kids.  Felton is the one who Robin Williams yelled at for being an insensitive ass in the Bop Gun episode.  As the series progressed and the focus shifted from characters like Felton and Bolander to Pembleton and Bayliss, Felton was given less and less too.  Daniel Baldwin was fired from the series at the end of season 3.  Felton was said to have been suspended for his rowdy behavior at a convention.

The episode fills us in on what happened to Felton after his suspension.  He apparently retired from the force and then stopped returning phone calls.  He disappeared and everyone else moved on.  At first, the squad room wonders if they could have done anything to prevent Felton’s suicide.  Howard and Lewis (who lost his previous partner to suicide and who nearly lost Kellerman to the same thing) are especially hit hard.  We get several flashbacks to the episodes that featured Felton and we’re reminded of just how much Daniel Baldwin used to sweat when he was on the show.

Dr. Cox takes a look at the skull fragments and the blood splatter and she realizes that Felton didn’t kill himself.  He was shot in the back of the head and then someone tried to make it look like he committed suicide.  Pembleton, Howard, and Bayliss are now investigating the murder of Beau Felton and they’re getting some help.

Megan Russert flies in from France to offer up her skills as an investigator.  If I remember correctly, Russert was never that good of a detective but it’s nice that she showed up.

Detective Paul Falsone (Jon Seda), from the auto theft squad, says that Felton was working with a notorious group of car thieves.  Falsone wants to help the investigation for …. reasons, I guess.

Finally, Detective Stuart Gharty (Peter Gerety) shows up.  When we last saw Gharty, he was a decorated cop who was too scared to enter an apartment building to help out one of his fellow officers.  Now, Gharty is working for Internal Affairs.  He reveals to Giardello that Felton was working undercover and he was helping to uncover a crooked cop in the department.  Colonel Barnfather announces that Gharty is going to work with Homicide on the Felton case.

Even if I didn’t already know that Falsone and Gharty are going to become regular characters during season six, it would be obvious from the introductions they’re given in this episode.  Peter Gerety, who later played a sympathetic judge on The Wire, is fine in the role of Gharty.  But I can already tell that Falsone is going to annoy me.  Some of it is because his character is the type of cliche that Homicide has, to this point, avoided.  He’s a young rebel who gets results …. HIS WAY!  From the minute he shows up, he’s telling Howard and Pembleton how they should conduct their investigation and it’s kind of annoying.  I mean, who the Hell is this jerk?  As played by Jon Seda, Falsone mumbles the majority of his dialogue and he just doesn’t seem like he belongs on Homicide.

This is a two-parter so we’ll see how the investigation wraps up (or doesn’t) next week.  Oddly, I have to admit that Felton’s death didn’t really have the type of emotional impact that the show seemed to think that it would.  Unlike the lovably eccentric Crosetti, Felton was never really that interesting of a character.  Far more impactful than the squadroom thinking about all of the times Felton acted like a jerk was the scene where Pembleton followed Bayliss to his uncle’s home.  Later, Pembleton told Bayliss that he now understood why Bayliss has been missing work.  In the past, this would have led to a fight between the two of them but both Bayliss and Pembleton have grown over the season.  Pembleton apologizes for following Bayliss.  (“I’m a detective.  It’s what I do.”)  Bayliss opens up about how he’s struggling with the concept of forgiveness.  As always, the show’s heart is with Bayliss and Pembleton.

Next week, season 5 comes to an end!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.1 “The Fabolous Belding Boys”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Rod Belding comes to Bayside.

Episode 3.1 “The Fabolous Belding Boys”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on December 9th, 1990)

“You’re jealous of your own brother!” Zack snaps at Mr. Belding in this episode and you really do have to wonder how Zack was always able to get away with using that tone of voice with his principal.  Most students would end up getting expelled if they talked to any adult that way.

Mr. Belding really goes through the ringer this episode.  After the authoritarian history teacher has a nervous breakdown, Belding reluctantly allows his younger brother, long-haired Rod (Edward Blatchford), to teach the class.  Soon, Rod is throwing away the midterm exam and allowing the students to pick their own grades.  (Screech gives himself a B-.)  Rod also convinces the students — well, a small handful of them — that the next class trip should involve white water rafting instead of going to Yosemite like his brother suggested.

That Rod is one cool guy until he decides, at literally the last minute, to blow off the rafting trip so he can hang out with a stewardess.  “Cover f0r me!” Rod tells Mr. Belding.  “Get out of my school, Rod,” Belding says, not knowing that Zack has overheard the entire converastation.

Mr. Belding does cover for his brother by claiming that Rod has the flu but he also volunteers to take his brother’s place on the rafting trip.  Now, it’s already been established that Mr. Belding has no experience with white water rafting and apparently, he can’t even swim.  So, there’s a  good chance that the senior class is going to lose a few members over the weekend.  But for now, all that matters is that the school trip is back on.

Zack apologizes to Mr. Belding.

“Rod is the more exciting Belding,” Mr. Belding admits.

“We got the better Belding,” Zack replies.

Awwwww!

This is definitely one of the best episodes of Saved By The Bell.  For once, Belding gets to be something other than a fool and Zack is forced to admit that he was wrong wrong.  Dennis Haskins shines in this episode and, for that matter, so does Edward Blatchford as Rod.

As I watched this episode, I was reminded of that episode of Good Morning Miss Bliss in which Bliss’s mentor was hired as a substitute and did a lot of the same crap that Rod did.  On Good Morning Miss Bliss, the substitute was portrayed as being a hero.  On Saved By The Bell, he’s a self-absorbed creep.  The Saved By The Bell version is the better version.

It’s the better Belding.