Father in the Cradle”

Posted on May 6, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the Love Boat gets a new photographer!

Episode 7.18 “Ace in the Hole/Uncle Joey’s Song/Father in the Cradle”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 28th, 1984)

This episode featured the usual three story structure. One story I was indifferent too. One story kept me entertained. And one story made me cry.

The story made me cry featured Barnard Hughes as Joseph Stobble, a former kids’s show host who has retired because he feels too old for kids to relate to. Isaac grew up watching Uncle Joey and even gives Uncle Joey a replica of Flapjack, the sock puppet that served as Uncle Joey’s sidekick. Uncle Joey meets Scott Russell (David Faustino), a child who has recently lost his father. Uncle Joey helps Scott deal with his emotions by assuring him that it’s okay to cry.

I cried! Hell, I’m crying just typing this up. Now, I should clarify that I have a reason for crying. The end of May will also be the two-year anniversary of the auto accident that eventually led to my father’s passing on August 19th, 2024. To be honest, there hasn’t been a day over the past two weeks that I haven’t cried at some point. When my father died, I threw myself into taking care of my aunt. After my aunt died (and she died exactly one year after my father), I threw myself into trying to make the holidays perfect for my sisters. And, after that, I threw myself into cleaning the house. Looking back, I understand that I kept throwing myself into new activities because I was trying to outrun just how sad I was. It’s only now that it’s finally all hitting me.

Would I have cried over Uncle Joey’s story if I wasn’t currently feeling sad? I think I would have. It was a sweet story featuring good work from Hughes, Faustino, and the always reliable Ted Lange.

As for the indifferent story, it featured Larry (Michael Spound) getting upset when he meets his mother’s (Lee Meriwether) new husband (Dean-Paul Martin). It turns out the son and the stepdad are both the same age! It was kind of boring, to be honest.

Finally, the third story featured Ted McGinley — yay! — as Ashley “Ace” Covington Evans, the new ship’s photographer! Gopher hired him but he soon regrets it when all the women on board fall for Ave instead of Doc and Gopher. However, Ace has a problem. He’s a good photographer but he doesn’t know how to develop film! (My first thought was that surely someone on the ship had to have a laptop and a printer but then I realized that this was apparently before the age of even digital cameras.) The ship’s passengers and Stubing are curious as to why Ace hasn’t put up any of the pictures that he’s taken. Vicki and Julia help out by putting up a bunch of pictures from a past cruise….

(Uhmm, how would that help? I would assume that the passengers would expect to see pictures of themselves.)

Ace comes clean to the Captain and offers to spend three weeks learning how to develop film. “Then we shall see you in three weeks,” a very understanding Stubing replies. (Stubing perhaps knows that Vicki would never forgive him for firing Ace.)

Why did this story work so well? Ted McGinley, that’s why! And now, apparently, Ted’s a new cast member. YAY! The Love Boat is going to be better than ever!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.17 “Aunt Emma, I Love You/Hoopla/The First Romance”

Posted on April 29, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Set sail for adventure, your heart on a new romance….

Episode 7.17 “Aunt Emma, I Love You/Hoopla/The First Romance”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on January 21st, 1984)

This episode is just silly.

Sid Casear and Rose Marie play newlyweds who are on their honeymoon cruise. The only problem is that Rose Marie has brought along a picture of her Aunt Emma, who never approved of Sid Caesar. Aunt Emma always wanted to go on a cruise but having her picture around is seriously cramping Sid Caesar’s style.

Teenage Philip McKeon is expecting to meet his father (Bert Convy) on the boat. Instead, he meets Convy’s secretary (Irena Ferris). Son and secretary fall for each other. The only problem is that the secretary has already fallen for the father! And soon, the father is on the boat as well!

That said, neither one of those stories really matter. This episode’s main focus is on the Harlem Globetrotters, who are taking the cruise to Mexico, where they’re supposed to play an exhibition game. Isaac’s friend (Darrow Igus) is the manager of the Globetrotters and he’s already sold a lot of tickets to the game. Unfortunately, when the stadium is flooded, the game is cancelled. It looks like Igus is going to be broke and fired. Wait a minute — what if the Globetrotters play a game on the boat? And what if the other team is made up of the Love Boat crew!?

Uhmm …. would that really be a workable solution? I mean, imagine that you spent a lot of money to see a basketball game in a stadium. Now, imagine being told that the game will instead take place in a small dining room on a cruise ship and that one of the teams is going to be exclusively made up of middle-aged white people, with the exception of one unathletic teenage girl. I might not demand all of my money back but I would probably ask for at least half of it.

Needless to say, the Globetrotters win the game. The Love Boat band plays a really sad-sounding version of Sweet Georgia Brown. The whole thing is just odd.

As I said, it was a very silly cruise.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.16 “The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It”

Posted on April 22, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the ship is a casino!

Episode 7.16 “The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 14th, 1984)

It’s a gambling cruise!

Of course, it’s all for charity. The Love Boat has been turned into a floating casino but all of the money that the passengers lose will be donated to the Flanders Hospital. Florence Flanders (Celeste Holm) is yet another old friend’s Captain Stubing’s and he’s happy to welcome her aboard. He is less happy to see Florence’s ne’er-do-well brother, Frank (Richard Jaeckel). Frank is in debt to another passenger, Al Dixon (Richard Ponzini). Frank is willing to cheat and steal to get the money to pay off Al. When Stubing calls Frank out on it, Frank threatens to reveal that Florence’s deceased husband had a mistress.

One of the people cheated by Frank is newlywed Nancy Sidon (Leah Ayres), who is upset about the prospect of having to move in with her in-laws. Her husband, Stewart (Shea Farrell), says that it’s perfectly normal to move back in with your parents after you get married. He also doesn’t want Nancy gambling. When Nancy loses all of her money, she fears that she’s going to lose Stewart as well. Fortunately, Frank has a change of heart and returns all of the money that he stole. Not only has Nancy avoided divorce but she now has enough that she and Stewart won’t have to move in with the in-laws.

Meanwhile, Michael Borden (McClean Stevenson) is carrying a very valuable silver dollar with him. When Sally (Jo Ann Pflug) accidentally puts the silver dollar in a slot machine, Michael has a near breakdown. He obsessively pulls on the lever, hoping to win back his silver dollar. Soon, he’s broke. However, Sally puts her final dollar in the slot machine, pulls the lever, and hit the jackpot. Michael wins back his silver dollar and he also finds love. To be honest, Sally could do better.

This was a rather low-key and almost moody episode. The laugh track was notably muted. On the one hand, the show celebrated gambling for charity. On the other hand, nearly everyone’s life was ruined in the casino. Richard Jaeckel gave a good performance as the conflicted Frank. Not giving a good performance was McClean Stevenson, who came across as being so cranky and whiny that I found myself hoping he would never win back his silver dollar.

This cruise did not hit the jackpot for me.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.15 “How Do I Love Thee?/No More Alimony/Authoress! Authoress!”

Posted on April 15, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Love Boat takes a dramatic turn.

Episode 7.15 “How Do I Love Thee?/No More Alimony/Authoress! Authoress!”

(Dir by Kim Friedman, originally aired on January 7th, 1984)

As usual, this week’s episode features three stories. Two of them are very silly.

Betty White and Carol Channing play two Broadway veterans who are hoping to interest publisher Cesar Romero in Betty’s autobiography. Cesar is more interested in Carol. Betty and Carol collaborate on a book that is full of sordid lies. Cesar says he’ll publish it because “the hicks in the South” will love it. Carol announces that she is a hick from the South and promptly rips the manuscript in half. Good for her!

Alan Thicke wants his ex-wife, Michelle Phillips, to marry Fred Willard so that he’ll no longer have to pay alimony. However, when Alan discovers that Fred is a womanizer, Alan reconsiders his plans.

These two stories feel very familiar. They’re the type of stories that we’ve seen on many episodes of The Love Boat. They’re saved a bit because of the comedic skills of Fred Willard and Betty White but, in the end, they’re definitely on the silly side of the cruise.

But then you get the third story, which is not silly at all. Laura (Rue McClanahan) boards the ship with her husband, George (Dick Van Patten). Laura is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and he’s alarmed when he sees that Laura has a black eye. Laura says she simply walked into a door. George laughs and says that Laura is a klutz.

Actually, Laura is being abused by her husband. George’s business is failing. George is jealous of Captain Stubing. George hits Laura in their cabin and it’s a shocking moment because 1) this is The Love Boat and 2) it actually looks like that Van Patten may have accidentally hit McClanahan for real. (Van Patten briefly breaks character, looking shocked, before quickly turning back into the angry George.) Stubing realizes what’s happening and confronts George. By the end of the episode, George is promising to “get some help” but it’s significant that Laura doesn’t leave the ship with him. One gets the feeling that she’s heard that promise before.

At first, it seems strange to have such an serious storyline playing out in-between scenes of Carol Channing and Betty White singing and Fred Willard leering at every woman on the boat but it actually works surprisingly well. The show makes an important point. Even on a fun cruise, abuse can happen. Abuse doesn’t take a vacation. And abusers can be the people you least suspect, like perennial nice guy Dick Van Patten. I have a lot of respect for this episode for dealing with a serious subject and doing it well.

This was an important cruise.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.14 “The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike”

Posted on April 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 7.14 “The Last Case/Looking for Mr. Wilson/Love on Strike”

(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on December 17th, 1983)

This week, an old high school friend of Julie’s is on the cruise. Whenever anyone from Julie’s past shows up, it means drama. Five years ago, when Jan Maddox (Jeanine Wilson) told her boyfriend, Michael, that she was pregnant, he ran out on her. Jan lied to her father, the rigid Colonel Maddox (Claude Akins), and told him that she and Michael had gotten married. For five years, Jan has been telling her father that she’s married. When Colonel Maddox boards the ship and meets his grandson Richie (R.J. Williams) for the first time, Jan continues to lie. She says that Michael got called away on business.

However, when Jan meets a charming single passenger (Tony Dow) and starts to fall for him, she decides to tell her father the truth.

“My grandson is illegitimate?” Maddox says, in a tone more worthy of 1883 than 1983.

Colonel Maddox says that he never wants to see his daughter or his grandson again. Seriously? Okay, good riddance. Colonel Maddox is a terrible person and Jan seems to be doing fine without him. However, Julie mentions to Maddox that Michael walked out on Jan and now the Colonel is doing the same thing. And then Richie tracks him down and yells, “You’re a mean old man and I hate you!” Colonel Maddox sees the error of his ways and that magically fixes everything. Jan forgives him. Richie forgives him. I would not have forgiven him. Then again, I also wouldn’t have lied about being married in the first place.

While this is going on, Jenny (Didi Conn) boards the ship and spends the cruise harassing her ex-boyfriend (Grant Goodeve) and his new girlfriend (Wendy Schaal). Jenny boards with two signs, each declaring that her ex is a louse. She follows him around the ship, chanting about what a louse he is. When she sees him dancing with his new girlfriend, she grabs a microphone and starts to talk about him to all the other passengers. Jenny probably should have been taken into custody and kicked off the boat at the next port-of-call. Instead, everyone acts as if Jenny’s actions are cute. It’s a weird story.

Finally, a mysterious woman known as the Contessa has disappeared from her cabin. Stubing convinces an old friend, retired detective Manfred Benusse (John Hillerman), to investigate. (I would think that the Captain would be required — by law and company policy — to report a missing passenger as soon as it was discovered that she was missing but whatever.) It turns out that there never was a Contessa. The whole thing was a set up, engineered by Benusse’s secretary, Liliane Pendergrast (Allyn Ann McLerie). Lillian didn’t want Benusse to retire and she thought that, if she gave him an unsolvable case, he would change his mind and I presume spend the rest of his days searching for a non-existent human being. I’m not sure how that would have been a good thing but, once Benusse figures it all out, he falls in love with Ms. Pendergrast. When you consider the fact that he could have easily been fired if Benusse hadn’t figured out what his secretary was doing, the Captain is surprisingly forgiving.

This was a really weird episode but the detective storyline was kind of charming in its nonsensical way. Hillerman did such a good job as the detective that it made up for the fact that the other two stories were kind of annoying. The end result was a pleasant cruise.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.13 “The Misunderstanding/Love Under The Decks/The End Is Near”

Posted on April 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

And love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 7.13 “The Misunderstanding/Love Below Decks/The End Is Near”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on December 10, 1983)

There’s all sorts of misunderstandings on this week’s cruise.

Karen Stevens (Morgan Brittany) is convinced that her mother, film star Nancy Fairchild (Clair Trevor), didn’t want her or love her. Nancy appeals to Karen’s husband (James Houghton) to help bring about a reconciliation. Karen apparently did her research because there’s something about the Pacific Princess that always helps retired film stars to either find love or fix their familial relationships.

“Dutch” Boden (Vic Tayback) is the rough and plain-spoken ship’s engineer. He thinks that Ellen Kirkwood (Arlene Dahl) is the Captain’s girlfriend. Instead, Ellen is the widow of one of Stubing’s old friends. Stubing worries that Dutch is bothering Ellen. Instead, Dutch and Ellen are falling in love. This is one of the rare episodes where we get to see how the crew lives on the below decks. Their cabins are really small!

Finally, newlywed Felix (Lou Richards) and Andrea (Delta Burke) are worried that the world is going to end. When the world doesn’t end at the appointed time, Felix fears that maybe he based his calculations on Eastern Time. Since the Love Boat was on the Pacific Coast, that would have meant the world would have ended three hours before Felix expected. Maybe Felix’s problem is that he doesn’t understand time zones. I’m the same way. They confuse the heck out of me.

This week’s cruise was a little bland. The guest cast was charming but two of the stories felt very familiar. But I did like the storyline with the paranoid newlyweds. Lou Richards and Delta Burke really threw themselves into their somewhat ludicrous characters. I laugh more than I thought I would.

This was a pleasant if not extremely memorable cruise.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.12 “Dee Dee’s Dilemma/Julie’s Blind Date/The Prize Winner”

Posted on March 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 7.12 “Dee Dee’s Dilemma/Julie’s Blind Date/The Prize Winner”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 3rd, 1983)

A detective (Don Gordon) tells Isaac and Gopher that he suspects a woman named Doris will be boarding the boat. She’s supposed to testify in a high-profile divorce case and she’s been dodging the process servers. The detective mentions that there’s a reward for turning Doris in. That definitely get Gopher and Isaac’s attention.

And Doris (Markie Post) is on the boat! Except she is pretending to be a teenager named Dee Dee and she’s speaking in an annoying squeaky voice. Jerry Howard (Clark Brandon) meets Dee Dee and develops a crush on her. Meanwhile, Jerry’s father, Phil (Geoffrey Scott), meets Doris and develops a crush of his own! In the end, Doris falls in love with Phil and Jerry …. well, Jerry gets his heart broken but he claims not to care. Phil is amused. As for the divorce case, it’s settled so Doris doesn’t have to testify after all!

(And no, there’s no reward for Isaac and Gopher. In fact, Stubing threatens to fire them.)

While that’s going on, author Daniel Baker (Tom Poston) wants to enjoy a romantic cruise with his wife (Abby Dalton) but he’s being blackmailed by his assistant, Wendy (Leslie Easterbrook). Wendy knows that Daniel plagiarized sections of his book and she threatens to reveal the truth unless Daniel has an affair with her. This is one of those storylines that would have worked better if some different casting choices had been made. As it is, noted sex symbol Tom Poston feels miscast.

Finally, Julie has a blind date boarding the boat. He turns out to be a nerdy, overweight guy named Leonard Gluck (Walter Olkewicz). Julie has nothing in common with Leonard and is planning on dumping him. But then Leonard dumps her first and Julie has a crisis of confidence. This story had the potential to reveal a new side of Julie but, in the end, Leonard revealed that he only dumped Julie to make her like him and Julie’s confidence was restored, along with her rule about not dating fat guys.

This was not a great cruise. It took me two minutes to get sick of Dee Dee’s voice. Oh well — not every trip can be a winner!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.11 “The World’s Greatest Kisser/Don’t Take My Wife, Please/The Reluctant Father”

Posted on March 4, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Love wont hurt anymore….

Episode 7.11 “The World’s Greatest Kisser/Don’t Take My Wife, Please/The Reluctant Father”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on November 26th, 1983)

Sawdust Radell (Dan Haggerty) is looking for revenge. The woman he loved dumped him after having a romance with one of the officers on the Pacific Princess. She didn’t tell him the officer’s name but she did say that he was “the greatest kisser in the world.” Ol’ Sawdust boards the ship with his best friend, Bonnie Lee Boone (Elaine Joyce). He wants Bonnie Lee to kiss each of the ship’s officers and then report back on which one is the greatest kisser. What is Sawdust planning on doing? I have no idea but I have a feeling that Sawdust might have a prison stint in his future.

(That was certainly true for actor Dan Haggerty who, two years after this episode ended, was arrested for trying to sell cocaine to an undercover police officer.)

Bonnie Lee kisses the Captain, Doc, and Gopher. She causes a lot of jealousy amongst the crew but they’re not the only ones getting jealous. Sawdust realizes that he’s in love with Bonnie Lee. He also gets a cable from his ex, informing him of the name of the officer. It turns out that the “world’s greatest kisser” is some guy who we have never seen or heard of before and he has since transferred to a different ship. Well, that’s convenient.

Before leaving the ship, the Captain asks Bonnie who the best kisser amongst the remaining crew was. Wisely, Bonnie Lee looks over at Sawdust and says, “Him!”

(No, she did not kiss Isaac. Then again, Ted Lange was busy directing this episode so Isaac’s not really around that much.)

Young executive Matt Stevens (Parker Stevenson) is taking a business cruise. He boards with his new wife, Marion (Kirstie Alley). Uh-oh, it turns out that Matt’s boss, Arthur Boggs (David Doyle), gave strict orders that wives were not allowed on the cruise! As Arthur explains it, “If I let you bring your wife, then I have to bring my wife.” And it turns out that Arthur — who says stuff like “As they say in Moscow, I’m hot to Trotsky!” — really wants to cheat on his wife.

Matt asks Marion to remove her wedding ring and pretend she doesn’t know him. Marion agrees. (Personally, I would have just asked for a maritime divorce.) But when Arthur starts hitting on Marion and Marion starts spending time with Arthur, Matt is finally forced to stand up and announce, “This is my wife!”

“You’re fired!” Arthur replies.

And you’re sued, Matt should have said. Seriously, you can’t fire someone for being married. And perhaps Arthur figures that out because he later offers to give Matt back his job. Matt smiles and accepts. Does Matt have any self-respect?

Finally, teenage Melissa Weatherly (Danielle Brisebois) boards the boat with her father, Elliot (William Christopher). Melissa’s parents divorced when Melissa was young and she’s never really known her father. But now that her mom has died, Melissa is living with Elliot and the two are trying to adjust. Elliot makes the mistake of suggesting that Melissa go to boarding school. Melissa becomes convinced that Elliot doesn’t love her. Fortunately, Vicki is there to talk to Melissa and the Captain is there to talk to Elliot.

This storyline made me think of my own relationship with my Dad and, as a result, it brought tears to my eyes. Gavin MacLeod always did well whenever the show gave him a serious storyline. Plus, it was good that Vicki actually had someone her own age to hang out with for once. I always worry about the fact that Vicki seems to spend all of her time on a cruise ship, surrounded by people who are about 40 years older than her.

This is one of the many episodes that Ted Lange directed. Lange always seemed to get better-than-average performances out of both the regulars and the guest stars and that’s certainly the case here. William Christopher and Danielle Brisebois both turn in strong performances as the father and the daughter. Parker Stevenson and Kirstie Alley were themselves newlyweds when they did this episode and their chemistry comes through, even if Stevenson is playing an annoyingly wimpy character.

This was a good cruise!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.10 “Julie and the Bachelor/Set-up for Romance/Intensive Care”

Posted on February 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Love, exciting and new. Come aboard, they’re expecting you …. welcome aboard, it’s looooooooove! Yes, it’s time to take another cruise on the Pacific Princess.

Episode 7.10 “Julie and the Bachelor/Set-up for Romance/Intensive Care”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on November 19th, 1983)

As always, we start with one very important question.

Engelbert Humperdinck is on this cruise so the answer is 11 on a scale of 10.

Engelbert plays Colin Crawford, who is Julie’s favorite film star and singer. Julie is superexcited to meet him and even more thrilled when Colin appears to be romantically interested in her. What Julie doesn’t know is that Colin’s loyal secretary is actually his wife, Gina (Penny Fuller). To maintain Colin’s romantic image, they’ve kept their marriage under wraps. However, Gina is sick of the deception and Colin eventually realizes that major film stars actually can be married. By the end of the cruise, Colin has announced to the world that he’s married and Julie is surprisingly okay with having been manipulated. The cocaine probably helped.

Meanwhile, Herbert Chandler (Tom Bosley) is a grump old man who has been in a wheelchair ever since he was in an accident 8 months ago. Herbert boards the boat with his nurse, Donna (Patricia Carr). “I’m the purser and you’re the nurser,” a smitten Gopher says. Doc. meanwhile, figure out that, after 8 months, Herbert’s legs should be healed and able to walk. It turns out that Herbert is faking his condition because he’s in love with Donna. It turns out that Donna is in love with Herbert and is remarkably forgiving. What better way to start a relationship than with eight months of lies?

Finally, Rick Tucker (Mark Harmon) boards the boat with his boss, Mr. Chandler (Bradford Dillman). Rick also meets Christine Barton (Cristina Raines), who happens to be Chandler’s mistress. Rick is devastated because he likes Christine too. Once Rick discovers that Mr. Chandler is lying about leaving his wife for Christine, he’s able to not only end his boss’s relationship but also to get one of his own. Strangely, it doesn’t occur to Rick to tell Christine that Chandler’s lying about leaving his wife until Rick has a conversation with Isaac. Isaac apparently has the ability to help people realize things that they should have been able to figure out for themselves. As Rick runs off to tell Christine, Isaac mentions that everyone he helps always runs off without leaving a tip. That made me laugh because it’s true.

The Tom Bosley storyline did not work for me. My Dad spent the last three months of his life in wheelchair and watching Herbert pretend that he needed a wheelchair when he didn’t did not sit well with me. Otherwise, this was a pleasant episode. It was one of the episodes that was shot during an actual cruise so it was nice to see the ocean in the background and the wind ruffling everyone’s hair. None of the stories were particularly complicated but Mark Harmon’s easy going charm kept me watching and even Engelbert Humperdinck was tolerable. It’s too bad that Julie once again missed out on love but I’m sure the cocaine helped.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.9 “Long Time No See/The Bear Essence/Kisses and Makeup”

Posted on February 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 7.9 “Long Time No See/The Bear Essence/Kisses and Makeup”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 12th, 1983)

This week, it’s a carnival cruise!

No, I don’t mean the type of cruise that starts as a dance party and devolves into a riot. I mean, there’s an actual carnival occurring on the cruise. The head of the carnival (Howard Keel) is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and Stubing loves a carnival. That’s all good and well but I hope they gave the passengers fair warning what type of cruise they were buying tickets for. I don’t mind carnivals but I wouldn’t necessarily want to deal with one while on a romantic cruise.

Young photographer Aurora Adams (Jan Smithers) takes an interest in the carnival owner. Is she hitting on a man old enough to be her father? No, specially because the man is her father! She doesn’t reveal this until towards the end of the cruise.

Meanwhile, Chip Ryan (Michael Lembeck) and Chester O’Brien (Christopher Mayer) are a comedy team who are training a bear. When it turns out that the bear cannot be trained to follow orders, they decide that one of them should wear a bear suit and…. no, I’m not making this up. Anyway, Chip and Chester both fall for Dottie Becks (Randi Oakes) and, by the end of the cruise, it looks like they’re going to have a very modern arrangement. *wink* *wink*

Newlywed Scott Pryor (Dean Butler) is overwhelmed by the beauty of his wife (Crystal Bernard). His wife takes off her makeup and he doesn’t recognize her. Eh. Let’s just ignore this storyline.

So, this episode …. you know, the newlywed and the long lost daughter stories were both pretty dumb but the bear storyline was just silly enough to be fun. I would not have chosen to take this particular cruise but, if I did, I’d spend the whole time watching the bear.