Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.7 “Close Encounters”

Posted on August 21, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, John Doe No. 6 returns.

Episode 4.7 “Close Encounters”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on November 20th, 1985)

This episode begins with a jolt. Dr. Victor Ehrlich is actually choosing to be ethical as opposed to just kissing up. Ehrlich is currently doing a rotation in plastic surgery, where he’s working with Bobby Caldwell. Caldwell already disliked Ehrlich before Ehrlich even joined the department. Caldwell’s opinion is not improved when he discovers that Ehrlich has talked a patient out of getting an eye tuck that Caldwell recommended. When Caldwell confronts him, Ehrlich argues that the surgery wasn’t necessary and that Caldwell manipulated the man into agreeing because Caldwell’s department is currently on the chopping block. When Ehrlich threatens to go to Dr. Craig, Caldwell sneers. Dr. Craig is the one who personally recruited Caldwell to come to St. Eligius. Ehrlich, on the other hand, is just “the hospital clown.”

Yikes. When Bobby Caldwell was introduced two seasons ago, he was mild-mannered and likable and clearly on the show because Mark Harmon looked good without a shirt on. This season, Caldwell has been arrogant and self-destructive. The fresh scar on his face has become a symbol for the scar on his soul. Personally, I think Bobby is a much more interesting character now. Every soap opera needs a villain and, by the time the fourth season started, St. Elsewhere had definitely become a soap opera.

As for Dr. Craig, he’s not there to talk to Ehrlich because he’s accompanied his daughter-in-law to her hometown in Clinton, New York. Yvonne (Suzanne Lederer) has been in a coma ever since Stephen Craig flipped their car. In this episode, she finally opens her eyes but she still isn’t speaking or mobile. Along with helping to transfer Yvonne to a new hospital, Craig has another reason for going to New York. He’s promised Ellen that he will return with their granddaughter, Barbara. However, when Dr. Craig spends the night there, he discovers that Yvonne’s parents aren’t the backward monsters that he assumed they were. He sees that they love Barbara and that they are taking care of her. Though he doesn’t say it, one gets the feeling that Dr. Craig realizes that Ellen mostly just wants custody of Barbara so she can have a part of Stephen. In New York, Dr. Craig finally starts to understand why Stephen and Yvonne designated Yvonne’s parents as Barbara’s legal guardians. Dr. Craig returns to Boston without Barbara. “I hate you for this, Mark,” Ellen says.

Meanwhile, astronaut Col. Chuck Cochrane (David Ackroyd) has decided that his seizure and subsequent dream were all signs from God telling him not to return to space. NASA, concerned that Cochrane is going to give the program a bad name, sends Captain Gloria Neal (Betty White) to the hospital. (Gloria mentions that she was sent by Major Healey, which is undoubtedly a reference to Roger Healey from I Dream of Jeannie.) Because Gloria went to medical school with Dr. Westphall, NASA thinks that she’ll be able to influence him to discharge Cochrane from the hospital so that he can be taken back to Walter Reed and forced to rejoin the space program. Westphall, however, decides to support Dr. Morrison’s decision not to discharge Cochrane. Westphall goes on to tell Gloria that she’s not much of a doctor anymore. She’s just a PR agent for the government. “So, I guess we won’t be sleeping together,” Gloria replies.

Ugh, Westphall. I know that I spent a lot of time complaining about Dr. Westphall, but this episode really epitomized everything that I dislike about the character. When he’s not depressed, he’s self-righteous. Whenever anyone disagrees with him, he starts talking about his experiences volunteering at a clinic in Ethiopia, as if that experience automatically makes his opinion superior to anyone else’s. In this episode, he decides that it’s his place to judge Gloria’s life decisions. Seriously, Westphall is the worst!

Finally, John Doe No. 6 (Oliver Clark) is back. He’s recovered from the surgery that initially left him comatose. He can speak and move again but he still has amnesia. He’s back in the psych ward. While watching television, he suddenly realizes who he is. He’s Mary Richards from The Mary Tyler Moore Show! He decides that a fellow patient, Mr. Carlin (Jack Riley), is Mary’s friend Rhoda. Dr. Auschlander is Mary’s co-worker, Murray. He tries to throw a party in the psych ward and it’s awful because Mary’s parties are always awful! When he sees Gloria Neal walking down the hospital hallway, he thinks that she’s Sue Ann Nivens, the happy homemaker! “Excuse me?” Gloria asks, confused.

Of course, Betty White did play Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. (St. Elsewhere itself was produced by Mary Tyler Moore’s production company.) Even more interesting, however, is that Jack Riley previously played Mr. Carlin on The Bob Newhart Show. Oliver Clark also appeared on The Bob Newhart Show, playing Mr. Herd, who was a member of the same therapy group as Mr. Carlin. As such, viewers who had previously seen The Bob Newhart Show (whether during its original run or, if you’re like me, via reruns) would have known that John Doe No. 6 was actually Mr. Herd. The episode’s biggest mystery is easily solved by those with a knowledge of television history. At the same time, it’s also interesting to note that Mr. Carlin presumably recognizes John Doe No. 6 but has yet to let anyone know.

It makes for a bizarre but enjoyable episode. Bobby is turning into a monster. The Craigs are headed for divorce. Dr. Westphall just insulted Betty White. But even with all that, it’s hard not to get caught up in John Doe No. 6’s joy. He’s going to make it after all!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.5 “Only the Good Die Young/Honey Beats the Odds/The Light of Another Day”

Posted on August 5, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 8.5 “Only the Good Die Young/Honey Beats the Odds/The Light of Another Day”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on October 13th, 1984)

This week, Isaac’s friend Lydia (Vernee Watson) boards the boat with her young son, Timmy (Emmanuel Lewis). Is it time for Isaac to find love? Not quite. It turns out that Isaac knew Lydia’s deceased husband. This trip is the first that Lydia and Timmy have taken since he died.

At first, Timmy is all cute and adorable. But then he overhears Isaac talking to Lydia. When Isaac mentions something about the good always dying young, Timmy decides to be bad so that he’ll live longer. Soon, he’s sneaking out of his cabin, making a mess in the kitchen, and trying to steal stuff from the gift shop. Finally, Captain Stubing and Isaac explain to him that what Isaac said was just an expression. All is forgiven!

Oh God, this storyline. I almost always respond to stories about people dealing with the loss of a parent or spouse. I did not respond at all to this story, though. Some of that is because Emmanuel Lewis’s performance as Timmy was way too cutesy. Even more of it was because this story didn’t really deal with loss in any sort of honest or authentic way. Instead, it was just some stupid kid who misunderstood something that he heard. As usual, Ted Lange really poured his heart into his performance but otherwise, this story just fell flat.

Meanwhile, blind Millie Constant (Barbara Parkins) thinks that she has randomly run into Sam Washburn (John Bennett Perry — yes, Matthew’s father). In college, before she lost her eyesight, she had a crush on Sam. What she doesn’t know is that Sam is dead and she’s actually met his younger brother, George. When Millie finally figures out that George is not Sam, how will she react? Most people, blind or not, would probably be disgusted and go out of their way to avoid George for the rest of the cruise. Millie, however, falls in love with George because this is The Love Boat! This story actually featured two good performances. Both Parkins and Perry did their best with the material they had been given to work with. But the story itself asks us to suspend our disbelief just a bit too much.

Finally, Honey Mallory (Stephanie Faracy) boards the boat with her boyfriend, bookie Jake Diamond (James Sloyan). With Jake more interested in making bets than romance, Honey starts to hang out with Miles Metcalf (Jack Riley). Jake panics when he realizes that he might lose Honey. He should also panic about the fact that Miles is a federal agent who has been secretly recording all of his conversations with Honey. This story ends on a weird note. Honey realizes that she loves Jake but Miles announce that Jake will be getting indicted at the end of the week.

All in all, this was not a memorable cruise. None of the stories worked that well and, with the exception of Ted Lange, the Love Boat cast didn’t really seem like that they were that into it this week. This was a pretty forgettable cruise.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.4 “Ace Meets the Champ/Why Justin Can’t Read/Call Me a Doctor”

Posted on July 29, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Come aboard, we’re expecting you!

Episode 8.4 “Ace Meets the Champ/Why Justin Can’t Read/Call Me a Doctor”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 6th, 1994)

Malcolm Bosworth (James Noble) boards the ship with his son (Dick Billingsley) and his son’s tutor (Jeannie Wilson). When both the tutor and Doc Bricker suggest that his son might be struggling academically because he’s dyslexic, Malcolm replies, “My son’s not retarded!” Booooo, Malcolm, booooo! In Malcolm’s defense, he comes to see the error of his ways but still, booooo!

Walter Milner (Louis Giambalvo) is a furniture salesman who tells Margo Bush (Tovah Feldshuh) that he’s a doctor. Margo’s mother (Doris Roberts) really wants her daughter to marry a doctor. Wow, I bet that will lead to some wacky complications!

Those two stories are both well-handled and feature some likable performances. James Noble makes Malcolm into a sympathetic figure, even if he is totally incorrect about dyslexia. But neither one of those stories is the main event.

The main event is Ace and Isaac boxing Ernie Jordan (Dick Butkus). Ernie is a professional boxer. Ace and Isaac are not. Ernie was originally scheduled to take part in an exhibition match for charity but, when his opponent gets sick, it looks like the children’s hospital will just have to close. Ernie’s publicist, Gaylan (Jennifer Holmes), is a former girlfriend of Ace’s. She left Ace because she felt he was irresponsible. Isaac and Gopher decide that the best way for Ace to prove that he isn’t irresponsible would be for him to volunteer to fight a professional boxer. Ace agrees. After Isaac writes a poem ridiculing the champ, Ernie declares that he’ll fight both Isaac and Ace at the same time.

Wow, sounds like Ace and Isaac are in a lot of trouble! Fortunately, for them, Ernie is a nice guy and he throws the fight and pretends to get knocked out. The children’s hospital is saved, Ernie’s reputation is probably ruined, and Ace proves …. well, I don’t know what Ace proves. Ace’s goal is to show that he’s not just a rich kid with an easy job but that’s a little bit difficult because he is a rich kid with an easy job. Ace is the Jack Schlossberg of The Love Boat, just with better hair. Still, Ace gets a girlfriend for the final five minutes or so of the episode so that’s a good thing.

This episode was pleasant, though it’s hard not to feel that Gopher would have been a more amusing opponent for Ernie Jordan. Pat Klous still seems to be struggling to fit in with the rest of the cast as Judy. Still, Isaac’s brief Mohammad Ali impersonation made me smile and Ted McGinley’s hair was perfect. With this episode, The Love Boat shows its age a little but luckily, our crew is still capable of delivering an enjoyable if not exactly memorable cruse.

Horror On TV: The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t (dir by Bruce Bilson)

Posted on October 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh no! Halloween might be canceled because people just aren’t scared of the old monsters! Dracula (Judd Hirsch) calls all of the classic creatures to a meeting in his castle (where they all happen to be freeloading) and give them an ultimatum. Be more scary! It turns out to be easier said than done.

This originally aired in 1979 but, for people of a certain age, it achieved a certain immortality thanks to regular airings on the Disney Channel. It’s a cute show. It might seem a little bit corny today but that’s a large part of its appeal. It’s a reminder of a more innocent time.

Warren the Werewolf, by the way, was named after Warren “Werewolves of London” Zevon.

Guilty Pleasure #85: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (dir by John DeBello)

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1978 film, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, opens with a title card that would make James Nguyen proud. It informs us that people laughed when they first watched a film called The Birds. Then, years later, a flock of birds went mad and started attacking people. No one is laughing now.

As for the rest of the film, it opens with a housewife being menaced by a giant tomato and then it just keeps rolling on from there. Something is causing normal, everyday tomatoes to go on a rampage and no one can figure out what. The government is powerless. (The government’s competence is best exemplified by a scene where a helicopter crashes. Reportedly, the helicopter crash was not scripted but the film’s director decided to keep the scene anyway.) The president puts Mason Dixon (David Miller) in charge of defeating the tomatoes.

The film is one gag and one song after another. Mason has a group of eccentric people working for him, including a superstar gymnast and a man who is always dragging a parachute behind him. The streets are soon running red with tomato juice while clueless teenagers continue to listen to absolutely terrible song called Puberty Love….

In the past, I’ve struggled to define how a pleasure can be guilty but I think Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is actually one of the rare films that truly can live up to the label. It’s a pleasure because it’s just so silly and cheerfully stupid that it’s hard not to smile at it. It’s guilty because, premise aide, the film itself is never really as funny as you want it to be. Comedy — even when its something as silly as this film — is all about timing and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes never nails the timing of its gags. Instead, it plays out like a stoned daydream, amusing to talk about but a bit boring to actually witness.

That said, the film deserves some sort of award for its title and also for going on to inspire not only a few sequels but also a cartoon series. Producer Stephen Peace went on to have a successful career in California politics. Good for him.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

The Unnominated #10: The Long Goodbye (dir by Robert Altman)

Posted on February 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Though the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences claim that the Oscars honor the best of the year, we all know that there are always worthy films and performances that end up getting overlooked. Sometimes, it’s because the competition too fierce. Sometimes, it’s because the film itself was too controversial. Often, it’s just a case of a film’s quality not being fully recognized until years after its initial released. This series of reviews takes a look at the films and performances that should have been nominated but were, for whatever reason, overlooked. These are the Unnominated.

Elliott Gould is Phillip Marlowe!

If I had to pick one sentence to describe the plot of 1973’s The Long Goodbye, that would be it. Robert Altman’s adaptation of the Raymond Chandler detective novel loosely follows Chandler’s original plot, though Altman did definitely make a few important changes. Altman moved the story from the 50s to the then-modern 70s, replacing Chandler’s hard-boiled Los Angeles with a satirical portrait of a self-obsessed California, populated by gurus and hippies. And Altman did change the ending of the book, taking what one could argue is a firmer stand than Chandler did in the novel. In the end, though, the film really is about the idea of Chandler’s tough detective being reimagined as Elliott Gould.

Rumpled, mumbling, and with a permanent five o’clock shadow, Gould plays Marlowe as being an outsider. He lives in a shabby apartment. His only companion is a cat who randomly abandons him (as cats tend to do). With his wardrobe that seems to consist of only one dark suit, Marlowe seems out-of-place in the California of the 70s. When Marlowe’s friend, Terry Lennox (Jim Bouton), asks Marlowe to drive him to Mexico, one gets the feeling that Lennox isn’t just asking because Marlowe’s a friend. He’s asking because he suspects Marlowe would never be a good enough detective to figure out what he’s actually doing.

After Terry’s wife is murdered, Marlowe is informed that 1) Terry has committed suicide and 2) Marlowe is now a suspect. Convinced that Terry would have never killed himself, Marlowe investigates on his own. He meets Marty Augustine (Mark Rydell), a gangster who demands that Marlowe recover some money that he claims Terry stole. Marty seems like an almost reasonable criminal until he smashes a coke bottle across his girlfriend’s face. (One of Marty’s bodyguards is played by a silent Arnold Schwarzenegger.) Meanwhile, Terry’s neighbors include an alcoholic writer named Roger Wade (Sterling Hayden) and his wife, Eileen (Nina van Pallandt). Like Marlowe, Roger is a man out-of-time, a Hemingwayesque writer who has found himself in a world that he is not capable of understanding. Henry Gibson, who would later memorably play Haven Hamilton in Altman’s Nashville, appears as Wade’s “doctor.”

Marlowe, with his shabby suits and a cigarette perpetually dangling from his mouth, gets next to no respect throughout the film. No one takes him seriously but Marlowe proves himself to be far more clever than anyone realizes. Elliott Gould gives one of his best performances as Marlowe, playing him as a man whose befuddled exterior hides a clear sense of right and wrong. Gould convinces us that Marlowe is a man who can solve the most complex of mysteries, even if he can’t figure out where his cat goes to in the middle of the night. His code makes him a hero but it also makes him an outsider in what was then the modern world. The film asks if there’s still a place for a man like Phillip Marlowe in a changing world and it leaves it to us to determine the answer.

Frequently funny but ultimately very serious, The Long Goodbye is one of the best detective films ever made. Just as Altman did with McCabe & Mrs. Miller, he uses the past to comment on what was then the present. And, just as with McCabe & Mrs. Miller, The Long Goodbye is a film that was initially released to mixed reviews, though it would later be acclaimed by future viewers and critics. Whereas McCabe & Mrs. Miller received an Oscar nomination for Julie Christie’s performance as Mrs. Miller, The Long Goodbye was thoroughly snubbed by the Academy. Altman, Gould, Hayden, and the film itself were all worthy of consideration but none received a nomination. Instead, that year, the Oscar for Best Picture went to The Sting, a far less cynical homage to the crime films of the past.

The Long Goodbye (1973, directed by Robert Altman)

Previous entries in The Unnominated:

Film Review: McCabe & Mrs. Miller (dir by Robert Altman)

Posted on February 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First released in 1971, McCabe & Mrs. Miller takes place in the town of Presbyterian Church at the turn of the 19th Century.

Presbyterian Church is a mining town in Washington State. When we first see the town, there’s not much to it. The town is actually named after its only substantial building and the residents refer to the various parts of the town as either being on the right side or the left side of the church. The rest of the town is half-constructed and appears to be covered in a permanent layer of grime. This is perhaps the least romantic town to ever appear in a western and it is populated largely by lazy and bored men who pass the time gambling and waiting for something better to come along.

When a gambler who says that he is named McCabe (Warren Beatty) rides into town, it causes a flurry of excitement. The man is well-dressed and well-spoken and it’s assumed that he must be someone important. Soon a rumor spreads that McCabe is an infamous gunfighter named Pudgy McCabe. Pudgy McCabe is famous for having used a derringer to shoot a man named Atwater. No one is really sure who Atwater was or why he was shot but everyone agrees that it was impressive.

McCabe proves himself to be an entrepreneur. He settles down in Presbyterian Church and establishes himself as the town’s pimp. Soon, he is joined by a cockney madam names Mrs. Miller (Julie Christie). The two of them go into business together and soon, Presbyterian Church has its own very popular bordello. Sex sells and Presbyterian Church becomes a boomtown. It attracts enough attention that two agents of a robber baron approach McCabe and offer to buy him out. McCabe refuses, thinking that he’ll get more money if he holds out. Mrs. Miller informs him that the men that he’s dealing with don’t offer to pay more money. Instead, they just kill anyone who refuses their initial offer.

Three gunmen do eventually show up at Presbyterian Church and we do eventually get an answer to the question of whether or not McCabe killed Atwater or if he’s just someone who has borrowed someone else’s legend. The final gunfight occurs as snow falls on the town and the townspeople desperately try to put out a fire at the church. No one really notices the fact that McCabe is fighting for his life at the time and, as befits a revisionist western, there’s nothing romantic or dignified about the film’s violence. McCabe is not above shooting a man in the back. The killers are not above tricking an innocent cowboy (poor Keith Carradine) into reaching for his gun so that they’ll have an excuse so gun him down. McCabe may be responsible for making Presbyterian Church into a boomtown but no one is willing to come to his aid. The lawyer (William Devane) that McCabe approaches is more interested in promoting his political career than actually getting personally involved in the situation. Mrs. Miller, a businesswoman first, smokes in an opium den with an air of detachment while the snow falls outside.

It’s a dark story with moments of sardonic humor. It’s also one of director Robert Altman’s best. The story of McCabe and Mrs. Miller and the three gunmen is far less important than the film’s portrayal of community growing and changing. Featuring an ensemble cast and Altman’s trademark overlapping dialogue, McCabe & Mrs. Miller puts the viewer right in the heart of Presbyterian Church. There are usually several stories playing out at once and it’s often up to the viewer to decide which one that they want to follow. Yes, the film is about Warren Beatty’s slick but somewhat befuddled McCabe and Julie Christie’s cynical Mrs. Miller. But it’s just as much about Keith Carradine’s Cowboy and Rene Auberjonois’s innkeeper. Corey Fischer, Michael Murphy, John Schuck, Shelley Duvall, Bert Remsen, and a host of other Altman mainstays all have roles as the people who briefly come into the orbit of either McCabe or Mrs. Miller. Every character has a life and a story of their own. McCabe & Mrs. Miller is a film that feels as if it is truly alive.

As with many of Altman’s films, McCabe & Mrs. Miller was not fully appreciated when initially released. The intentionally muddy look and the overlapping dialogue left some critics confused and the film’s status as a western that refused to play by the rules of the genre presented a challenge to audience members who may have just wanted to see Warren Beatty fall in love with Julie Christie and save the town. But the film has endured and is now recognized as one of the best of the 70s.

Bonus Horror On TV: The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t (dir by Bruce Bilson)

Posted on October 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Warren the Werewolf, by the way, was named after Warren “Werewolves of London” Zevon.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.6 “Druids/A Night In A Harem”

Posted on July 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

Let’s see what’s happening on Fantasy Island this week!

Episode 5.6 “Druids/A Night In A Harem”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 14th, 1981)

Hey, Tattoo is back!

Now, interestingly enough, Tattoo is in this episode but Julie only appears for a few seconds, just long enough to tell Roarke that she will be too busy babysitting to help out with any of the fantasies this week. Considering that she’s screwed up almost everything she’s been entrusted with, I’m sure Roarke was relieved to hear this. Still, you have to wonder if there was some rule that Julie and Tattoo couldn’t be equally featured in the same episode.

Tattoo is enthused about one of the fantasies this week. Shy and nerdy Herbie Snyder (Paul Williams) wants to have a harem for the weekend so that he can build up his confidence. Tattoo offers to accompany Herbie on his fantasy but Roarke says that won’t be necessary. It turns out Herbie screwed up when he requested his fantasy and asked to be a part of a harem.

Soon, Herbie finds himself surrounded by a bunch of oily body builders as he becomes a member of an all-male harem that belongs to the Contessa (Jayne Meadows)! Herbie is not comfortable being a sex toy but he is happy to meet and fall in love with Lisa (Pat Klous), the daughter of the Contessa. Fortunately, it turns out that the Contessa has a fantasy of her own and that’s for Lisa (hey, great name!) to meet and fall in love with a good man. Herbie and Lisa even get married on Fantasy Island!

This whole fantasy was silly, with Jayne Meadows devouring the scenery as only a veteran guest star can. That said, Paul Williams and Pat Klous were a cute couple.

As for the other fantasy, Lauren Fandell (Joan Prather) wants to be the center of attention. Roarke informs her that she’s a descendant of Druid queen. It turns out that there’s some druids living on a nearby island! Lauren heads over to Druid Island and is promptly proclaimed Queen of the Druids. “Are you married? she is asked. When she says she’s not, she is proclaimed the Virgin Queen. Uhmmm, okay. Maybe that’s a druid thing but that just seems like a huge assumption to me….

Unfortunately, being the Virgin Queen means that she’s due to be sacrificed to their God, the evil Pan. Roarke shows up briefly and gives her a magic acorn necklace, which she does eventually use to distract Pan and escape with her new boyfriend, Paul (Dennis Cole).

(And yes, it does turn out that Paul was another guest whose fantasy was to study the druids.)

This was a good episode. The fantasies were entertainingly silly and Tattoo was back. We even got a little of the old Roarke/Tattoo banter, which used to be a highlight of the show. This episode, with all of its silliness and melodrama, felt like what Fantasy Island was meant to be.

Spaceballs (1987, directed by Mel Brooks)

Posted on May 4, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

President Skroob (Mel Brooks), the evil and incompetent leader of Planet Spaceball, has squandered all of the air on his planet and is planning on stealing the atmosphere of the planet Druida. To pull this off, he arranges for the idiotic Prince Valium (Jim J. Bullock) to marry Vespa (Daphne Zuniga), the princess of Druida. (All together now: “She doesn’t look Druish.”) Vespa and her droid, Dot Matrix (voice by Joan Rivers), flee Druida with Lord Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) and Colonel Sandurz (George Wyner) in pursuit.

In debt to the intergalactic gangster, Pizza the Hut (voiced by Dom DeLuise), a mercenary named Lone Star (Bill Pullman) and his associate, the man-dog hypbrid Barf (John Candy), accept a contract from Vespa’s father (Dick Van Patten) to track down his daughter. They take off in their space Winnebago to bring Vespa home. Though they start only interested in money, Lone Star and Barf come to learn about love, freedom, and a mystical power known as the Schwartz. (“No, the Schwartz!”)

Back when I was growing up and just being able to have HBO made you the coolest guy on the block, Spaceballs was one of my favorite movies. I watched it every time that it came on cable. As usual with Mel Brooks, there were a lot of double entendres that went over my young head but there was also enough goofy humor that I could laugh at what was going on. I could quote all the lines. I laughed whenever Rick Moranis showed up in his Darth Vader-costume. I laughed at John Candy’s facial expressions. I laughed when Mel Brooks showed up as Yogurt, the Spaceballs version of Yoda. Pizza the Hut? That’s hilarious when you’re a kid!

I recently rewatched the film. Revisiting it was a lesson in how your memory can trick you. I could still quote most of the lines with reasonable accuracy but nothing was quite the way I remembered it. Rick Moranis and John Candy were still hilarious and, being older, I could better appreciated the frustration felt by George Wyner’s Colonel Sandurz. I also realized what a good performance Bill Pullman gave as Lone Star. While everyone else mugged for the camera, Pullman played his role straight.

I also discovered that a lot of the scenes that I remembered as being hilarious were actually just mildly amusing. Mel Brooks was always hit-and-miss as a director, the type who would toss everything and the kitchen sink into his films. Spaceballs has a lot of hilarious scenes but it’s obvious that Brooks didn’t have the same affection for the source material as he did with Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles or even High Anxiety. Brooks is poking fun at Star Wars because it’s popular but he doesn’t seem to have any strong feelings, one way or the other, about George Lucas’s space epic.

I still laughed, though. Even if Spaceballs wasn’t the masterpiece that I remembered it being, I still enjoyed rewatching it. The jokes that hit were funny enough to make up for the ones that missed. Even with his weaker films, Mel Brooks is a national treasure.