Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.6 “The Dark Side”

Posted on June 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, who cares about a concussion?

Episode 4.6 “The Dark Side”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 9th, 1988)

Going into the half, the Bulls are in danger of losing their first game of the season. Dodds Company executive Michael Westwood (Paul Tuerpe) has suspended Bubba and Jethro for refusing to sell their bar. “They draw a criminal element,” Michael said. “They’re just football players!” TD Parker (OJ Simpson) snaps back. Because Bubba and Jethro aren’t there to protect him, quarterback Doug Clayton (Scott Geyer) has been sacked and is now playing with a concussion.

During the coach’s locker room talk, Doug suddenly imagines that he’s in a Vietnam war film and that he and the team are soldiers on a mission to rescue Bubba and Jethro from a POW camp. OJ Simpson dresses up like Rambo and leads the assault. OJ kills a lot of people in this episode!

His fantasy over, the still dazed Doug heads back out to play the second half, this time with Bubba and Jethro once again blocking for him.

So, to make clear, Doug is playing with a severe concussion. That’s really the entire plot of this episode. The Vietnam stuff is occasionally amusing if overly broad. Bubba and Jethro recreate The Deer Hunter’s Russian Roulette scene. OJ Simpson still comes across as being oddly mild-mannered, even while firing a machine gun. That said, it’s hard not to feel that Doug, who gave up a Rhodes scholarship to play professional football, is basically sacrificing his life for one game.

Oh well. The Bulls win. That’s the important thing.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 4.5 “….The Clock Runs Out”

Posted on June 17, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Joe Hears meets his fate.

Episode 4.5 “….The Clock Runs Out”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 2nd, 1988)

Poor Joe Hearns!

Last episode, Joe went from being a skid row windshield cleaner to being a defense coordinator to being a linebacker on the team. This episode …. well, he dies.

Seriously.

It’s not a particularly noble death either. After a rookie player (played by Kevin Sorbo, of all people) is seriously injured in a prank involving a bull, Hearns decides to go back to the farm and challenge the bull himself. The show ends with the bull charging at Hearns and since Harold Sylvester (the actor who played Hearn) is not listed as having appeared in any episode of 1st & Ten beyond this one, I can only assume that the bull won.

Seriously, what was the point of that whole storyline? Bubba, Jethro, and TD all thought that Joe Hearns would be able to redeem himself on the Bulls. Hearns turned out to be suffering from massive PTSD, the result of having crippled an opposing player the last time he played. This episode, Joe has a near breakdown when one of the team’s new executives reprimands Joe for parking in his spot. And then Joe dies. I guess the lesson here is that he would have been better off if Bubba and Jethro had just left him in that parking lot.

Watching this show, I get the feeling that the writers really didn’t have much direction in the writing room. It’s amazing how often a potentially interesting character like Joe Hearn will be introduced and then dropped an episode later. There have been so many storylines that have been started and abandoned in a similar fashion. This very season started with the Bulls players buying the team and then, three episodes later, they decided that they didn’t want to be team owners after all.

The one thing that remains consistent? The bland affability of OJ Simpson. OJ may not have been a particularly good actor but he certainly was personable. That undoubtedly paid off for him later in life.

Unfortunately, Joe Hearns was not personable. And now, he’s dead.

(Actually, so is OJ.)

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.4 “Down and Out in Bulls Stadium”

Posted on June 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Episode 4.4 “Down and Out In Bulls Stadium”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 26th, 1988)

The first game of the year is approaching and the Bulls, now owned by the Dobbs Corporation, have got a lot to deal with.

Mad Dog has to explain to an aspiring cheerleader (Christie Claridge) that he no longer has the power to make her a Bullette, despite the fact that he promised that he would do so when he was trying to get her to sleep with him.

New quarterback Doug Clayton (Scott Geyer) has to prove that he can lead the team, despite having a reputation for being an intellectual. Doug gave up a Rhodes scholarship so that he could play professional football. That doesn’t sound that smart, to be honest. I mean, will Oxford still be willing to give Doug a chance after he’s suffered twenty concussions?

TD Parker (OJ Simpson) must now work for the Dobbs Corporation, despite previously criticizing the corporation for not promoting enough minorities. TD explains to the press that he and the new owners came to an agreement. He also mentions that the corporation agreed to pay him a lot of money. So, I guess TD’s days as a radical labor leader have been slashed short.

Finally, after Bubba and Jethro spot him living in a parking lot and wiping windshields for a living, they convince TD to hire Joe Hearns (Harold Sylvester) as a defensive coach. Hearns was once a linebacker, which I guess is a defensive position. His career came to an end when he crippled a wide receiver. As a defensive coach, Hearns is a wash. At one point, he nearly runs out onto the field to tackle an opposing player. To me, that would indicate that Hearns has some mental issues and poor impulse control. To Coach Denardo, it means that Joe should be playing instead of coaching. Hearns returns to the lineup and promptly starts to have nightmares about the player he crippled.

Here’s the important thing, though. Doug leads the Bulls to victory in their first game and he makes it a point to praise defensive players like Mad Dog and Dr. Death. Tim Yinessa? Who needs him! Team Doug all the way!

This episode …. actually, it wasn’t that bad. I will admit that I laughed when Hearns had a vision of a wheelchair-bound football player rolling straight at him but that’s just because it was such an absurd image. Harold Sylvester actually gave a pretty good performance as the emotionally damaged, guilt-ridden Joe Hearns. I’m interested in seeing what the show is going to do with the Hearns character and Doug is far more interesting quarterback than the somewhat whiny Yinessa.

This season might be okay!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.3 “Caught In The Draft”

Posted on May 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s for the draft.

Episode 4.3 “Caught In The Draft”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 19th, 1988)

The Bulls attend the draft and screw everything up. It turns out that allowing the players to own the team was a really bad idea. In fact, it goes so badly that TD Parker (OJ Simpson) really deserves to be fired for suggesting it in the first place. But, nobody wants to get on TD’s bad side, for some reason.

How badly does it go?

The Bulls need a linebacker. Sonny Cowers, the phenom out of Louisiana, is available in the first round. Unfortunately, Mad Dog worries that, if he drafts Sonny, the Bulls will then either release or trade him. Seeing as how Mad Dog owns the team, I’m not really sure how he could be traded or released but whatever. Mad Dog picks a player that the team doesn’t need and Sonny is picked by another team.

Meanwhile, Jethro and Bubba insist on drafting an unheralded running back because they’re convinced the man is in their hotel room and threatening to commit suicide if he’s not drafted. It turns out that the man in the hotel room was just an actor and that the Bulls just got conned into drafting some fat guy from Tennessee.

The Bulls do get a new head coach when TD trades a sixth round draft pick for the new coach of Houston’s term, Ernie Denardo. That’s right, Denardo’s back!

The draft is such a disaster that the bank cancels their loan and the players are forced to sell the team to the fast food company that they were trying to avoid being purchased by in the first place.

I actually liked this episode. I enjoyed the chaos of the draft and it was hard not to laugh at the earnest stupidity of the players. Shouldn’t you guys be trying to draft a quarterback? I thought at one point and, for a second, I felt like a sports expert.

Seriously, they need do need to get a quarterback.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.9 “A Family Affair”

Posted on January 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the playoffs continue.

Episode 2.9 “A Family Affair”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 13th, 1987)

A playoff game against Denver is approaching. Denver is coached by a former protegee of Denardo’s and Denardo is obsessed with winning. He’s so obsessed that he alienates the players and Coach Grier (Stan Kamber). Grier is tempted to take a job as Houston’s head coach. Denardo says he doesn’t care until Diane reveals that Grier has turned down several other jobs out of loyalty to Denardo.

As for the other assistant coach, T.D. Parker (OJ Simpson) has problems of his own. His youngest son is acting out and the only thing that’s kept him out of juvenile detention is the fact that the cops are all fans of T.D. and the Bulls. T.D. tells his son that he’s not allowed to leave the house. When T.D.’s wife says that she thinks T.D. is being too strict, T.D. tells her to back off. T.D. gets really mad in this episode but none of it is convincing because OJ Simpson was too amiable an actor to really come across as being threatening. That’s something that would prove helpful to OJ in the years to come.

Meanwhile, the players all invest in the stock market. The stock doesn’t do well. The player who recommended the stock is chased out onto the field before the start of the big game against Denver. Ha ha, those players are all broke now. Good luck dealing with life after the game.

This show, I never know what to make of it. Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Why is it so oddly edited? How many scenes were cut for syndication? Why do storylines start and then just disappear? For that matter, why do characters suddenly vanish? Dr. Death was a huge part of the show during the first half of the second season but I haven’t seen him during the second half. Did he get traded? Did he get injured? Seriously, what’s going on with this show?

I have no idea. Football’s a confusing sport.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.8 “Easy Come Easy Go”

Posted on January 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Time to get back to 1st & Ten. To be honest, with all the excitement of the holiday season, I totally forgot that I was reviewing this show.

Episode 2.8 “Easy Come, Easy Go”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 6th, 1987)

This is yet another episode of 1st & Ten that felt as if it was put together almost at random.

Mad Dog (Tony Longo) has a one night stand with a lawyer named Molly (June Chadwick) and he ends up becoming obsessed with her. He shows up at a fancy cocktail party being hosted by Molly’s law firm. “This man is stalking me!” Molly yells. All of the men at the party are like, “Mad Dog! You’re my favorite player!” Now, I will say that this is a realistic portrayal of how most men act whenever they see a professional athlete but it still felt a bit icky to watch.

Jethro takes a blood test and discovers that little Tommy is not his son. But he still wants to be a part of the kid’s life.

Yinessa sees a tabloid newspaper headline about his “nude pictures” and starts yelling at a supermarket manager for selling the paper.

Waldren is in financial trouble because he’s been tossing money around. A group of gamblers approach him and offer to pay to shave points. OJ Simpson (in the role of offensive coordinator T.D. Parker) tells Waldren, “I’m keeping my eye on you.” Oh no! LOOK OUT, WALDREN!

However, Waldren does not shave points. Instead, he catches the ball that seals the Bulls victory in their first playoff game. Woo hoo! Go, Waldren!

A lot happened but, in typical 1st & Ten fashion, none of it added up to much. It could be because the streaming episodes were edited for syndication but this is just a weird show. Every episode feels as if their huge chunks of plot missing.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.7 “Yinessa’s Interview”

Posted on December 3, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Bulls are in the playoffs!

Episode 2.7 “Yinessa’s Interview”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on December 30th, 1986)

Last week, training camp finally ended.

This week, the Bulls are in the playoffs!

Wow, we skipped the entire regular season. Well, that’s okay. It was obvious from the start that the Bulls were going to make it to the playoffs so why hold off on the inevitable? Tom Yinessa has led the Bulls to a spot in the Wildcard and woo hoo!

The only problem is that Yinessa hasn’t had time to get laid. When he does try to make time for Christy (Betsy Russell) — who I guess is his new girlfriend because she wasn’t his girlfriend an episode ago — they are interrupted by reporter Donna Starkey (Brianne Leary), who needs to finish up her interview with Yinessa. Christy leaves angry but then she returns to make up for Yinessa, just to discover him on the verge of fooling around with Donna.

While all of this is going, the other team tries to fool the Bulls by sending them a fake playbook. Coach Denardo thinks that it’s genuine but T.D. Parker is like, “I’ll kill you if you use that playbook! I’ve done it before!” Also a woman tells Jethro that he’s the father of her son. Jethro is skeptical but he agrees to get a paternity test.

Donna writes an article about how Yinessa is an unimpressive quarterback. But the Bulls still win their playoff game by relying on defense. Mad Dog Smears angrily notes that reporters never want to interview anyone defense …. wait a minute, where’s Dr. Death? Seeing as how the defense wins the game, this seems like a weird episode not to feature Dr. Death.

The Bulls win their game but Yinessa no longer has a girlfriend. Womp womp.

This episode was weirdly unsubstantial. It may be because of how the episodes have been edited for syndication to remove all of the nudity and cursing but 1st & Ten never seems to be able to develop any sort of narrative momentum. Instead of each episode building towards something, it’s usually just 20 minutes of random events that never seem to really be tied together. One could say the same thing of life in general, I suppose.

This is my final 1st & Ten review of 2025. Retro Television Reviews is taken a break for the holidays but this feature will return in January. My next 1st & Ten review will be on January 7th, 2026.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.6 “The Unkindest Cut”

Posted on November 26, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yay! Training camp is over!

Episode 2.6 “The Unkindest Cut”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 29th, 1986)

When arrogant quarterback Johnny Valentine refuses to enter drug rehab, Diana reacts by having him traded to Buffalo. Johnny may be a superstar but he won’t be playing for the Bulls. That means that Yinessa, the player who nearly kicked off the team twice, is now the starting quarterback. Yinessa also makes up with his girlfriend (Katherine Kelly Lang) so I guess he’s having a good week.

Bubba has to lose five pounds to retain his starting position. When he goes in to be weighed, it appears that he’s only lost four pounds. Bubba quickly takes off his gold watch and he makes weight! Good for Bubba, I guess.

Finally, Rick Lampert (Marcus Allen) shows up at training camp is given a number 32 jersey by T.D. Parker (O.J. Simpson). Lampert’s like, This is your number. Parker replies that the number now belongs to Lampert. Awwww! In the role of T.D. Parker, O.J. Simpson has a way of slashing his way to the heart of the matter,

Training camp finally ended with this episode and I’m glad about that because those training camp episodes were getting really dull. I have to be honest, though. We’re halfway through the second season and I still don’t feel like I know any of these characters. Donald Gibb occasionally makes me laugh as Dr. Death. And, as T.D. Parker, OJ Simpson seems like a really nice guy. Otherwise, though, this show feels oddly hollow. Of course, that may be because I’m watching the syndicated version, which apparently edited out a lot of nudity and bad behavior on the part of the players.

Oh well. Let’s see how the team does! This episode ends with Diana saying she wants to win a championship. Does Yinessa have it in him to lead the team with victory? With OJ Simpson as his coach, he better!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.5 “California Freeze Out”

Posted on November 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Victory’s yours …. for that taking….

Ugh, let’s do this.

Episode 2.5 “California Freeze Out”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 22nd, 1986)

Training camp continues!

Oh, Good Lord, does it continue.

And look, I get it. This was a low-budget show that relied on stock footage for the majority of its game footage. There was probably only so much footage available. Not every episode could feature a game. And training camp is an important part of football and I’m sure that, back in 1986, HBO was proud of that set they built for the ugly bar where all the players hang out. It’s not a bad set. You look at it and you can literally smell the rancid combination of sweat and urine that seems to follow most male athletes.

But seriously …. I’M TIRED OF TRAINING CAMP! Its time to move on!

As for this episode …. hey, Waldren is already back from rehab and he’s clean! That was quick. However, shady quarterback Johnny Valentine continues to hang out with drug dealers and Waldren gives into temptation. He ends up at a raucous drug party that’s busted by the cops. Waldren jumps out of a window. His date is accidentally shot. You might think that Johnny Valentine would be in trouble considering how anti-drug the league has become but it turns out that Johnny is a star and busting him would effect ad revenue. So, Johnny gets off scot-free.

Meanwhile, O.J. Simpson — whoops, sorry, I meant to say T.D. Parker, don’t hurt me, Vengeful Spirit of O.J. — recruits a young player named Rick Lambert (Marcus Allen) to be the team’s new running back. Marcus Allen gave such a stiff performance that I immediately realized that he had to have been an actual player and it turns out that I was right. You can always tell the actual players because they’re the ones who can never summon up any emotion when they stumble through their lines. O.J. was the epitome of a player who became a bad actor but he came across as being …. well, not quite Olivier but maybe David Niven, while acting opposite Marcus Allen. Maybe that’s why Allen was added to the cast, to make O.J. look good.

Anyway, here’s hoping that O.J. and the rest of the Bulls slash their way out of training camp soon!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.4 “Quarterbacks Tell No Tales”

Posted on November 5, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a player’s reputation is on the line. Can he clear his name, even though all the evidence is stacked up against him?

Episode 2.4 “Quarterbacks Tell No Tales”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 15th, 1986)

T.D. Parker (played by O.J. Simpson) is pissed off! The normally affable former player is angry that someone is dealing cocaine to the Bulls. The press and the commissioner both assume that the dealer is rookie quartebrack Tim Yinessa. (That guy that Yinessa caught searching his room last week? He was a reporter.) T.D. isn’t so sure. He thinks that start quarterback Johnny Valentine (Sam Jones) is responsible for the team’s cocaine problem. T.D. eventually confronts Johnny and tells him to stop with the drugs.

“25% of this league retires injured,” Johnny says, “You’re proof of that.”

T.D. gets so angry that he proceeds to ~~stab Johnny to death~~ punch Johnny in the chest. “Welcome to the 25%,” he says.

No, T.D. Johnny said “retired” players. Johnny’s not retiring yet. Anyway, Johnny was so coked up that he probably didn’t even feel the punch.

As for Yinessa, he nearly gets kicked off the team when the real dealer plants some cocaine in his locker. Luckily, his roommate — Jamie Waldren (Jeff Kaake) — steps forward and confesses that he was the owner of the cocaine that the reporter found in the room. Diana orders Jamie to go to rehab. “Sure, I guess,” Jamie replies.

While that’s going on, Dr. Death and Mad Dog Smears continued to harass the rookies by ordering one of them to fake a suicide attempt as a part of a practical joke. At the bar where they hang out, they also sang a song against urine testing. I’m not really sure why anyone would want to hang out at the bar, as it seems like the whole place only exists so that Dr. Death and Mad Dog can put on painfully unfunny stage shows. Dr. Death and Mad Dog also told Yinessa that they would kill him if he agreed to random urine testing in order to prove his innocence. Personally, I think Dr. Death and Mad Dog should focus on their jobs. Maybe if they did a better job protecting the other players, T.D. wouldn’t have had to retire. I mean, you can tell it’s really cutting T.D. apart that he can’t play anymore.

So, Jamie is off to rehap, Yinessa is still on the team, and T.D. didn’t have to kill anyone. All in all, it was a productive week. To be honest, it’s difficult to judge this show based on traditional standards of good and bad. Technically, every episode is bad. This week, however, was slightly less bad than usual.