Jade McCall | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, we start the sixth and final season of CHiPs.

Episode 6.1 “Meet the New Guy”

(Dir by John Astin, originally aired on October 10th, 1982)

The sixth season of CHiPs opens up with some changes. Bonnie, Bear, and Turner are all gone. They’ve been replaced by Kathy (Tina Gayle) and Officer Webster (Clarence Gilyard, Jr.) Grossman (Paul Linke) is still providing comedic relief. Harlan (Lou Wagner) is still running the garage. Getraer (Robert Pine) is still the sarge. And Ponch (Erik Estrada) is still riding his motorcycle and flashing his grin.

However, this episode finds Ponch riding solo. Officer Baker is no longer his partner. This was because Larry Wilcox declined to return for another season, specifically because he felt that the producers only cared about keeping Estrada happy. On the show, it’s mentioned that Baker has relocated to Wyoming and he is now working on his father’s ranch. Ponch, however, is not without a partner for long. At the start of the episode, he meets Baker’s replacement. Bobby Nelson (Tom Reilly) is blonde and kind of spacey and he’s nicknamed “hot dog” because he likes to take risks. Ponch has been assigned to work as Nelson’s partner throughout Nelson’s probationary period. Getraer explains that Nelson reminds him of Ponch.

And really, that’s the problem. Ponch is a flamboyant motorcycle cop who smiles a lot and likes to take risks. Bobby is another flamboyant motorcycle cop who smiles a lot and likes to take risks. There’s not much difference between them. Even though Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada didn’t get along behind the scenes, Baker and Ponch worked as a team because Baker was the opposite of Ponch. Baker was serious and by-the-book and he didn’t take unnecessary risks. Bobby, on the other hand, is pretty much just a blonde version of Ponch.

There is another problem as far as Bobby Nelson is concerned. Judging from this episode, Tom Reilly doesn’t appear to have been much of an actor. Larry Wilcox may not have had the most expansive emotional range but he was totally believable as a cop. Reilly, meanwhile, spends the entire episode looking somewhat spaced out. He delivers his lines in a flat monotone. From the start, there’s very little chemistry between him and Estrada. When Ponch complains about getting a new partner, one gets the feeling that he was expressing Estrada’s own feelings.

That said, this episode isn’t all bad. It opens with one of the most spectacular crashes in the show’s history. The tragic Dominique Dunne gives a strong performance as a teenage mother who sells her baby to a couple but then decides that she wants him back. This episode even manages to work quicksand into its finale. How can you not appreciate a show that makes use of quicksand?

Finally, this episode has one extended sequence that is so ludicrous that you just can’t help but smile while watching it. Two thieves have been robbing health clubs. They just happen to rob the one where Ponch is a member. (Fitness guru Richard Simmons plays Ponch’s teacher.) Ponch, clad only in a pair of black shorts and a motorcycle helmet, jumps on his motorcycle and chases after the robbers. The site of a half-naked Erik Estrada riding his motorcycle down the streets of Los Angeles is the perfect combination of silly and stupid.

This episode had its moments but I’m not really sold on Tom Reilly as a replacement for Larry Wilcox. We’ll see what happens!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

This week, Roarke and Tattoo are still ignoring each other.

Episode 4.5 “The Love Doctor/The Pleasure Palace”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy and Cliff Bole, originally aired on November 22nd, 1980)

The plane has arrived and, once again, Mr. Roarke and Tattoo head down to the docks to meet their guests. And, as with the previous season four episodes, it’s hard not to notice that neither Ricardo Montalban nor Herve Villechaize are willing to look at each other while delivering their lines. I feel a little bit bad about having started almost every recent review by mentioning the obvious hostility between the two of them but it’s impossible not to notice. Previously, one of the show’s greatest strengths was the playful banter between Roarke and Tattoo and, when it’s gone, it’s impossible not to notice the absence.

Speaking of hostility, Gordon Hughes (Gary Burghoff) seem to have a lot resentment against the world. Thanks to the inheritance that he received from his grandmother, Gordon has graduated from law school and he is on the verge of joining a top law firm. But, before he does so, he wants to go back in the past and discover how his grandmother made all of her money. Mr. Roarke takes Gordon to a recreation of the saloon that his grandmother owned in turn-of-the-century San Francisco. Gordon takes a sip of brandy and is transported into the past. He quickly discovers that …. HIS GRANDMOTHER OWNED A BROTHEL!

At first, Gordon is upset about this discovery. But then he falls in love with one of his grandmother’s employees, a waitress named Molly (Barbie Benton). And then he stands up to a crooked cop (Dane Clark). And then he meets his grandmother (Ruta Lee) and discovers that she was tough and refused to let anyone push her around. Gordon realizes that he should be proud of his grandmother and his heritage and that he wants to be with Molly. But then the San Francisco earthquake hits and Gordon is abruptly transported to the present. Not to worry, though! It turns out Molly was also a guest having a fantasy and she and Gordon board the airplane home together.

This fantasy — which featured a lot of nice clothes and period detail — would have been effective if not for Gary Burghoff’s rather off-putting performance as Gordon. Seriously, Gordon came across as being such an uptight and self-righteous prig that it was difficult to have much sympathy for him. Of course, that was kind of the point. Gordon was supposed to be a snob but Burghoff made him such a convincing and such a committed snob that it was hard to believe that he could have changed his ways just over the course of a few days.

The second guest is actress Kim Holland (Loni Anderson), who is the biggest star in the world after appearing in only three movies. She wants a break from being a star so Mr. Roarke arranges for her to serve as a nurse in a remote clinic that is run by the gruff Dr. Greg Miller (Christopher George). Kim finds a purpose in life helping Dr. Miller but, when they’re kidnapped by a native tribe, Dr. Miller reveals that he has always known who Kim is. Dr. Miller plays one of her movies for the tribe, convincing them that Kim is a goddess. Miller goes on to explain that he’s been in love with Kim ever since he first saw her on screen. Seeing as Kim’s fantasy was to not be recognized for a few days, it would seem that Roarke failed to keep up his end of the bargain. But it doesn’t matter because Kim and Greg are in love. This fantasy could have worked with perhaps a different actress in the role of Kim. Loni Anderson gave such a blank performance as Kim that it was hard to really believe her either as a movie star or a nurse.

(Interestingly enough, the character of Kim Holland also appeared on the episode of The Love Boat that aired right before this episode. So, if nothing else, this is the first Love Boat/Fantasy Island cross-over. Incidentally, I’ll be reviewing that episode of The Love Boat in a few more months.)

This was a fairly forgettable episode. The island was lovely to look at and I’m glad that everyone found love but I just wish Mr. Roarke and Tattoo could be friends again.