Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.12 “Cruz Control”

Posted on July 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, almost everyone’s got a secret.

Episode 4.12 “Cruz Control”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on December 13th, 1988)

I guess someone in the Pacific Blue writers’ room finally remembered that Amy Hunter joined the cast at the start of season 4 because her character, Jamie Stickland, actually gets to do something in this episode. In fact, we ever see the odd loft that she is apparently still sharing with Russ Granger.

This episode opens with Jamie gunning down a Korean smuggler. Even though it’s a “good” shooting, it’s still Jamie’s second killing in just a handful of months. Lt. Susan Jessup (Holly Gagnier, who previously played Parker Stevenson’s little-seen wife on the first season of Baywatch) uses the shooting as leverage to try to force Jamie to become a mole for Internal Affairs. When Jamie refuses, Susan threatens to reveal that Jamie lied on her police application when she said she had never been convicted of a felony. It turns out that, when Jamie was 15, she was convicted of manslaughter after she shot her abusive foster father. When Jamie continues to resist the pressure to spy on her fellow cops, Susan suddenly talks about “Internal Affairs is very erotic.” By the end of the episode, it appears that Jamie is ready to become an IA informant so I guess the erotic line worked.

Meanwhile, Bobby Cruz goes AWOL for two days so that he can track down Lee Kwan (Karen Kim), a model who, years earlier, accidentally ran over Bobby’s parents while driving too fast. Lee was acquitted in court and Bobby has been dreaming of revenge ever since. When it becomes apparent that Lee has become involved with a smuggling operation, Bobby goes rogue to try to get her sent to prison.

Meanwhile, Monica goes undercover as a model because, on this show, all bicycle cops can go undercover at a moment’s notice. The undercover storyline doesn’t really go anywhere but it does give Monica an excuse to show TC her portfolio. Cory sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes, which is pretty much her standard response to Monica doing anything that would indicate that she’s still alive.

This was a busy episode. All of the regular characters, with the exception of Darlene Vogel’s Chris Kelly, made an appearance. That said, busy does not necessarily equal good or even interesting. Bobby’s decision to go AWOL never made much sense but then again, Pacific Blue itself has never made much sense. A bunch of people barking out orders while wearing bicycle shorts will never make sense. At the very least, though, we did get to see Mario Lopez doing the “big” acting. There was never an episode of Saved By The Bell in which Slater got hooked on rage-inducing drugs but Pacific Blue gives us an idea of what that would have been like.

By the end of the episode, Lee Kwan is dead, Bobby is back on his bike, and Jamie’s a rat. Hopefully, this will somehow lead to TC getting sent to prison for embezzlement or something. That’s my hope!

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.21 “The End?”

Posted on April 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we finish off the first season of Baywatch.

Episode 1.21 “The End?”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on April 6th, 1990)

This the end, my only friend, the end….

Earthquake! The ground shakes in Los Angeles and the result is pure chaos. While Mitch oversees the rescue operations, Shauni tries to get over her fear of natural disasters, Eddie helps a pregnant woman deliver twins in his lifeguard tower, Gina finds herself pinned under a shelf at the loft, and Craig and Cort are trapped in an underwater cave. Have none of these people noticed that hanging out with Cort always leads to stuff like this happening?

We see a news report that says that five people died in the earthquake. Fortunately, none of those people were a character on Baywatch. (Though, now that I think about it, when was the last time anyone saw Trevor?) The LAPD dive team saves Cort and Craig. Hobie helps Gina get out from underneath that shelf. Eddie and Shauni work together to help deliver those twins and then, as the sun sets behind them, Eddie asks, “Will you marry me?” Shauni nods as the theme music starts up….

Was this the end? It was meant to be. After a season of declining ratings and raising production costs, NBC decided to cancel Baywatch. I guess the executives figured that, if even a shark attack failed to get people to watch, it was best just to move on. Baywatch decided to go out with an episode about an earthquake because it was a California show and California is all about the ground moving under your feet. It actually turned out to be one of the better episodes of the first season, specifically because it focused on lifeguards and other first responders doing their job. There were no silly plots about gamblers or Mitch’s love life or anything else. This was Baywatch the way it probably should have been. But it was too late to keep the show alive on network television.

That said, the Hoff believed in Baywatch and, working with the show’s producers, he brought it back in syndication. This episode was the end of Baywatch on NBC but it was just the beginning of the show that would go on to epitomize a decade.

We’ll start season 2 next week.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.17 “Eclipse”

Posted on March 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Eddie’s incompetence continues.

Episode 1.17 “Eclipse”

(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on February 23rd, 1990)

After Kirby (Lance Wilson-White), the lifeguard that Eddie was supposed to be training, mysteriously drowns, Eddie loses his job and is shunned by every lifeguard in California.

Well, that’s what should have happened. Instead, everyone tells Eddie that it wasn’t his fault and goes out of their way to make sure that Eddie isn’t beating himself up over one unfortunate death. We don’t actually see Mitch or Captain Thorpe calling up Kirby’s family to offer condolences. We don’t see Kirby’s funeral or Kirby getting the traditional fallen lifeguard salute. Kirby? Who’s Kirby?

Instead, Eddie meets with a psychiatrist (Dr. Joyce Brothers) and later admits that his sister drowned when he was a child and that’s why he feels so guilty about what happened to Kirby. Everyone is more upset about Eddie’s sister than they are Kirby.

Meanwhile, Eddie searches the beach for a ghostly woman in a white nightgown. Eddie and Craig’s wife, Gina (Holly Gagnier), speculate that the woman is the ghost of someone who burned down the lighthouse decades ago. Mitch theorizes that the woman is an escaped mental patient. The woman later turns up on the beach, dead from drowning. Again, nobody seems to be too upset. Aren’t these people supposed to be lifeguards?

While this is going on, Hobie discovers that his friend Katie (Hayley Carr) is going to have to euthanize her dog because it bit her family’s landlord. Katie runs away and Hobie hides both her and the dog at his house. Mitch is not happy about this but he does agree to adopt the dog so it won’t be killed. Yay!

This episode was dumb. Apparently, as long as Eddie’s feeling better, it doesn’t matter that two people drowned. Stay away from Malibu, folks.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.15 “Muddy Waters”

Posted on February 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The drudgery of season 1 continues.

Episode 1.15 “Muddy Waters”

(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on February 2nd, 1990)

It’s a busy couple of days in Malibu!

Hobie has been getting into fights at school. Is it because the kids refuse to believe his amazing stories about his lifeguard father or is it because he has a crush on his teacher, Amanda Keller (Sherilyn Wolter)? Amanda wears glasses but takes them off whenever Mitch comes into the room so we all know what that means. Mitch is about to get a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, a picture of Shauni appears in a cheap calendar, posing in her official Baywatch bathing suit. The Captain (Monte Markham) wants to fire her but Craig proves that Shauni isn’t lying about the picture being used without Shauni’s knowledge. Not only does Craig print a calendar with the captain as “Miss March” but he also tricks the Captain into signing a release form. Shauni is vindicated. Craig’s wife complains about how sexist the calendar was. This storyline felt a bit hypocritical for a show run people who reportedly spent hours obsessing on how everyone looked in their swimsuits.

Finally, Cort and Eddie are training the junior lifeguard at the water park. An angry man who always wanted to be a lifeguard keeps loosening the bolts on the water slide. Cort, Eddie, and Garner catch him but the trouble’s not over yet! The ex-boyfriend of one of the lifeguards is making trouble and vandalizing park property. He’s captured after a dramatic chase up a water slide. Even though Cort is chasing the guy up the water slide, people keep sliding down. It felt kind of dumb, to be honest. Why not just climb the stairs to the top so that you can be there whenever the guy gets there? Why not position one lifeguard at the top and one at the bottom so the guy will eventually be caught no matter which way he climbs or slides? It seems like Eddie and Cort put a lot of people in danger for no good reason.

This episode was forgettable and dumb. That’s kind of the standard when it comes to the first season of Baywatch. Some people stand in the darkness for good reason.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.7 “The Cretin of the Shallows”

Posted on December 6, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, there’s a lot happening on the beach!

Baywatch 1.7 “The Cretin of the Shallows”

(Dir by Vern Gillum, originally aired on December 1st, 1989)

Eddie gets his wisdom teeth taken out. Feverish and on pain-killers, he has a hallucination in which Gina Pomeroy (Holly Gagnier) kisses him. Eddie spends the entire episode nervous that Craig is going to discover that he’s having an affair with his wife but actually, Eddie isn’t having an affair. It’s not until the end of the episode that Gina tells Eddie that they never kissed and Eddie finally starts to relax. Gina promises not to tell Craig because “I think it’s sweet.” Myself, I’m just curious as to how stupid Eddie actually is.

Shauni and Jill deal with a teenage boy who has made a bet with his friends that he’ll be able to get a kiss from both of them.

And a horrifying serial killer (Robert Trebor) is stalking the night, brutally murdering people on the beach.

One of these storylines is not like the other!

The first season of Baywatch was seriously weird. Light-hearted lifeguard hi-jinx would be mixed in with scenes of people being murdered. Mitch and Craig weren’t just lifeguards. They were also cops who solved mysteries (Kind of like Baywatch Nights!) and they put their lives at risk to do so. Remember how I mentioned that Gina told Eddie that they never kissed? She told him that after she had been rescued from the serial killer. Gina nearly died! Neither Gina nor Craig seemed to be too upset about that, though. I would be a little bit traumatized but that’s just me.

This episode really didn’t work for me. Personally, I like the light-hearted stuff. It’s dumb but, at heart, Baywatch’s appeal is that it’s a dumb show with nice scenery. Tossing a serial killer into the mix just made things unpleasant. It didn’t feel like it belonged on a show about people running on the beach in red bathing suits.

This is my last Baywatch review of 2025. Retro Television Reviews will be taking a break for the holidays so that I can focus on Awards Season and Christmas movies! Baywatch will return on January 10, 2026.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.3 “Second Wave”

Posted on October 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Trouble comes to Malibu!

Episode 1.3 “Second Wave”

(Dir by Scott Brazil, originally aired on October 13th, 1989)

Jimmy Roche (Daniel Quinn), an old friend-turned-enemy of Eddie’s, is in Malibu and he and his gang are eager to give Eddie a hard time. When Eddie tries to rescue a man in the water, Jimmy trips him and then plays keep-away with Eddie rescue can. Dang, these guys are hardcore!

Eddie doesn’t want to tell anyone about his past, even after Jimmy files an assault complaint against him. (Eddie was provoked into throwing a punch.) Jimmy threatens to robs Gina and Craig unless Eddie gives him some money. Eddie agrees to meet with Jimmy but then tells the cops. Garner Ellerbee decides to set up an undercover sting, which basically means that Garner stands next to Eddie while Eddie waits for Jimmy to show up. Somehow, Jimmy figures out what’s going on. Looks like Eddie will just have to beat Jimmy up on the beach and prove that he’s no longer a delinquent from Philadelphia.

That would be an intense storyline, if not for the fact that Jimmy himself comes across as being kind of a wimp. I mean, a young David Spade is a member of his gang! Eddie allows himself to be intimidated by a young David Spade! Think about that. This storyline just made Eddie seem kind of dumb,

Meanwhile, a young Mariska Hargitay gave a terrible performance as Lisa (hey!), the daughter of the head of the country club. Lisa (!) decided to pursue a romance with the country club’s lifeguard, Trevor, as a way of upsetting her father. When Lisa (!) jumped into the ocean to make a point (though I’m not sure what point), Trevor rescued her. However, Lisa (!) later went into shock because she still had water in her lungs. Trevor was able to get her to the hospital in time but he learned an important lesson about not being a cocky lifeguard.

“The county lifeguards know about secondary drowning,” he’s told.

Okay, so why wouldn’t Trevor know about that? The whole idea behind Trevor’s character is that he was a hotshot lifeguard in Australia before he came to California. So, is the show implying that he wasn’t trained in lifeguard basics in Australia because given how famous Australia is for its beaches, I find that hard to believe.

Anyway, after she recovers Lisa (!) announces that she’s going back to New York and Trevor realizes that she was only using him to make her father angry. Trevor stops by Baywatch HQ and talks to Mitch and admits that he doesn’t enjoy working as a lifeguard. Lifeguard Jill Riley gives him a sympathetic look. It looks like they’re falling in love but I’ve seen this series before so I already know that Jill is going to get eaten by a shark and Trevor is going to vanish after a few more episodes.

This episode could have used a shark.

We love you, Roboshark!

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.2 “Heat Wave”

Posted on October 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Save me!

Episode 1.2 “Heat Wave”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on September 29th, 1989)

Not much of an episode this week, I’m afraid.

California is dealing with a heat wave and no one has air conditioning (really?) so everyone in Los Angeles is heading down to the beach so that they can relax in the hot sand. Eddie and Trevor keep giving each other the side eye because Eddie is a Baywatch lifeguard and Trevor is a country club life guard. Eddie tries to hit on a woman who has spent the entire day relaxing near his tower but it turns out that she’s visiting from Australia and only has eyes for Trevor. “Maybe next time,” she tells Eddie.

Craig is told by his boss that he has to choose between being a lawyer at a big firm or a lifeguard. Craig’s wife, Gina, suggests that Craig quit the law firm and become a beachfront lawyer. She says that he can still be a lifeguard and he can just use their kitchen table as his desk. I don’t know if I would be as understanding as Gina. Craig was making a lot of money as a big corporate lawyer, even if he apparently couldn’t afford to get an air conditioner.

(What the Heck, California? How are you surviving with air conditioning!?)

Meanwhile, two stupid kids get trapped in a storm drain. Mitch sends the junior lifeguards out to look for them. Hobie asks, “What can a bunch of junior lifeguards do?” Mitch replies that this is an opportunity for the junior lifeguards to go to all the places that they’re usually not allowed to go. So, basically, Mitch’s plan to find the missing kids is to put a bunch of other kids at risk. I guess that’s why he’s the lieutenant.

Luckily, the two dumb kids are rescued. One of the kids is the son of Steve Humboldt (Jeffrey Byron), a former Baywatch lifeguard. It turns out that Steve lost custody of his kid in a court case and he basically abducted him. But, after the kid nearly dies, Steve is like, “We’re going to call your mom and go home!” and that apparently makes everything okay under the “He Changed His Mind Afterwards” clause.

This was all pretty dumb. Stay out of the storm drain, kids! It’s not that difficult.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.1 “In Deep”

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Hobie’s a snitch!

Episode 1.1 “In Deep”

(Dir by Peter H. Hunt, originally aired on September 22nd, 1989)

Hobie, you idiot!

Mitch’s young son is spending the summer with his father and he’s supposed to be concentrating on summer school. Instead, he hanging out with two older guys, Scott (Christopher Murphy) and Ron (Lance Gilbert), and basically letting himself be used as a slave in return for jet ski lessons.

Mitch is not a fan of jet skis. They’re unregulated and they’re dangerous, he says. As if to prove Mitch’s point, Scott collides with a windjammer! The woman on the windjammer is killed. (Craig and Eddie pull her body out of the ocean, which is the type of sad thing that Baywatch would eventually stop featuring.) Hobie, realizing Scott is guilty, tries to find the evidence to prove it and nearly gets himself killed as a result. Fortunately, Mitch is able to save him and Scott is arrested. I have to say that, after this episode, I kind of found myself agreeing with Mitch’s ex-wife. The beach is too dangerous!

Meanwhile, Craig caught Eddie sleeping in his lifeguard tower and realized that Eddie, who I assume is getting paid to be a lifeguard, doesn’t have a home. Did he ever have a home? Has he been sleeping on the beach all this time? How did he apply for Lifeguard School without an address? Anyway, Craig takes Eddie back to his Venice loft, where Craig’s wife (now played by Holly Gagnier, replacing the pilot’s Gina Hecht) decides that they should let Eddie rent their storage room. It’s even got a view of the beach, if you ignore all the other buildings in the way and instead just find that one unobstructed alley to look down. (Actually, Eddie finding and looking down that alley was cute and likable. He was so excited!) I have to say that, for a lawyer, Craig’s loft really sucked. It was pretty impressive for a lifegaurd, though.

The other big development this week is that Garner Ellerbee (Gregory Alan Williams) made his first appearance as the beach cop who hates sand. (Then why become a beach cop?) He and Mitch appear to be old friends. Little do they know that they will eventually open up a detective agency together.

This episode was predictable but the cast was super likable. The earnestness of it all carried the day.

A Blast From The Past: The Gymnast (dir by Larry Elikann)

Posted on March 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Our regular review of Check It Out! will not be posted tonight so that we might bring you this special program….

My retro television reviews will return next week. For now, we present you with The Gymnast, a short film from 1980 about a teenage girl named Jenny who wants to be the best gymnast in the world but who is going to have to learn some important lessons about hard work and humility beforehand. I could relate to this film because I was the same way about dancing when I was a teen. Of course, I never learned any lessons about hard work or humility and I’m all the better for it.

That said, this isn’t a bad little film. Zina Bethune gives a good performance as the hard-pushing coach and there’s plenty of gymnastic action as well. I’m going to guess this was probably made to appeal to teens who would presumably have found a bunch of new heroes watching the 1980 Summer Olympics. Jimmy Carter, however, had other plans.

Now, without any further ado, here is …. The Gymnast!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”

Posted on January 23, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

The plane has arrived!

Episode 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on January 10th 1981)

This week’s episode of Fantasy Island is all about being someone that you’re not.

For instance, Hadley Boggs (Stephen Shortridge) wants to thank his family for taking out a mortgage on the family farm, just so he could go to MIT. Hadley has a great future ahead of him but he just wants his dad (Noah Beery, Jr.), mother (Dody Goodman), and sister (Misty Rowe) to have a chance to be live like rich people for the weekend.

Fantasy Island to the rescue!

When the Boggs family arrives, they are shocked to discover that they are going to be living in a mansion. Mr. Roarke has arranged for them to host a cocktail party with ten of the richest men on the island. Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of telling Tattoo to place an invite for the party in the Fantasy Island Chronicle. (Yes, Fantasy Island has a newspaper and, in this episode, it appears to be printed in red ink.) Tattoo decides to spice things up by claiming that the Boggs family owns a uranium mine. Mr. Roarke is not happy.

“But, boss,” Tattoo says, “I am your best assistant!”

“That does not matter,” Roarke snaps before explaining that the Boggs family could be in a lot of trouble if they start buying things with money they don’t have or selling property they don’t own.

And, of course, that’s just what happens. Roger Fox (Shecky Greene) offers the father of the family a few million dollars for the mine. Thinking that it’s all part of the fantasy, Dad agrees. Roger then sells the non-existent mine to someone else because it turns out that Roger is a con artist at heart. Fortunately, with Roarke’s help, the family is able to con Roger into giving them back the non-existent mine and Hadley even falls in love with Roger’s daughter, Kathi (Kathrine Baumann). To be honest, I had a hard time following exactly how Mr. Roarke conned Roger into giving up his fake mine but I’m glad things worked out.

This fantasy was …. eh. The problem is that Hadley’s family was presented as being borderline idiots, what with their amazed reaction to existence of cars, airplanes, servants, and checking accounts. It’s one thing to make them a poor farm family. It’s another to treat them as if they’re the members of a cargo cult that has never had contact with modern human beings before. West Virginia is not the Amazon Rain Forest.

The other fantasy featured Maureen McCormick in one of her six trips to the Island. This time, she plays Trudy Brown (Maureen McCormick), an orphaned gymnast who is treated terribly by her aunt (Janis Paige) and her cousin (Holly Gagnier). Trudy wants to win the Fantasy Island Gymnastics Competition and, in the process, she wants to defeat her cousin. Mr. Roarke gives her the power of telekinesis, which Trudy promptly used to make her cousin fall off the high beam. Roarke gives Trudy a stern talking to.

It’s a struggle but eventually, Trudy realizes that she doesn’t want to win through magic powers. Nor does she want to hurt her cousin or anyone else competing. Roarke takes away her powers and Trudy, having learned a valuable lesson, wins the competition on her own.

This fantasy was actually a lot of fun, just because it gave the viewer a chance to see what Carrie would have been like if Maureen McCormick had played the title role instead of Sissy Spacek. McCormick seems to be having lot of fun loosening screws with her mind. Toss in some gymnastics with the telekinesis and you have classic Island fantasy!

This episode had one boring fantasy and one good fantasy. Luckily, the good overshadowed the boring.