Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.19 “Near Death”

Posted on September 15, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week’s episode is stupid even for Pacific Blue.

Episode 4.19 “Near Death”

(Dir by Gary Winter, originally aired on April 4th, 1999)

Before I say anything else about this episode, allow me to say this: Ugh.

Okay, so check this out. A group of home invaders, led by Claire (Monica Louwerens) and her husband Milo (Matt Borlenghi), are in a van, fleeing from their latest robbery. TC, Chris, Cory, and Bobby are all chasing after them on their bikes. The van takes a sharp turn, the passenger-side door flies open, and Claire falls out. TC swerves to avoid Claire and is thrown straight into an electrical junction box. TC gets electrocuted.

Cory, Chris, and Bobby all arrive and immediately run over to TC. TC isn’t breathing. There’s no heartbeat. Cory and Bobby perform CPR. TC, meanwhile, is having a near-death experience, which means that we get a montage of old clips. They manage to bring TC back to life, but no one bothers to check on Claire. Claire ends up in a coma and subsequently dies at the hospital. Milo blames the cops for ignoring his wife while all of them gathered around TC.

…and Milo is absolutely right. Don’t get me wrong. It makes sense that Cory, Bobby, and especially Chris would be worried about TC. But it doesn’t change the fact that they basically just left another gravely injured person on the street while they gathered around TC. This is not the first time that something like this happened on Pacific Blue, and it’s yet another example of our heroes being rather selfish people.

Later, Cory announces to all the other bicycle cops that their first priority is to track down Milo and his gang because “this one is personal.” In other words, don’t worry about any of the other crimes that might be happening in Santa Monica because those crimes don’t directly involve any of the show’s stars. As is often the case with this show, it’s never really explained why the case apparently only belongs to the bicycle patrol. We don’t see any burglary detectives investigating the home invasions or anything like that. I guess the bike patrol has jurisdiction over everything.

As for TC, he reacts to his near-death experience by becoming more philosophical. He’s determined to always tell the truth. Over the course of the episode, he insults all four of the rookies: Granger, Cruz, Jamie, and Monica. Later, once TC starts to return to normal, he apologizes to Granger, Cruz, and Jamie but smirks when Monica asks if TC has anything he wants to say to her. “Nope,” he says. It’s kind of weird how this show wants its audience to hate Monica despite the fact that Monica is usually the only one of the cops who can be depended upon to do her job.

This episode really annoyed me. There was just something really annoying about a show about bicycle cops attempting to impart some sort of philosophical message about life. Did no one consider that TC is nowhere near a deep enough character to be believable as someone who worries about the larger questions of existence? Did no one consider that Jim Davidson’s limited range made him exactly the wrong actor for this type of story? In the past, TC was always dull but reliable. In this episode, he’s condescending. Since Chris and Cory were already condescending and have been for several seasons, TC joining them pushed this episode to new heights of unearned smugness.

This was an annoying episode. At least no one went undercover.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.18 “Thicker Than Water”

Posted on September 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Pumpkin Man strikes! It’s even dumber than it sounds.

Episode 4.18 “Thicker Than Water”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on March 21st, 1999)

A mob lawyer and his wife have been murdered, and for some reason the bicycle patrol is investigating the case instead of Homicide. When it becomes apparent that the lawyer’s son, Andy Jr. (Scotty Cox), has disappeared, Cory makes it her mission to track him down. This is yet another episode where Cory is willing to do whatever it takes to solve the case. Of course, in Cory’s case, that usually means walking around and glaring at people.

Cory discovers that Andy Jr. is with his real mother, a stripper named Angela (Angela Marsden). Angela was the dead lawyer’s mistress. When Cory tracks down Angela, she learns that Andy doesn’t know his father is dead, but he does know that “the Pumpkin Man” came to the house. Meanwhile, the FBI sends over an agent who is big and bald… JUST LIKE THE LEAD SINGER OF SMASHING PUMPKINS!

You may think that I’m making this up, but no, it’s very, very true. Andy calls the killer the Pumpkin Man because he thinks the killer looks like Billy Corgan. When he sees the FBI agent, Andy shouts, “The Pumpkin Man! SMASHING PUMPKINS!”

Because Cory is currently in hiding with Angela, the bicycle patrol decides to go undercover. Monica gets a job dancing at the strip club. Well, of course she does. Whenever T.C. says that someone is going undercover, that means Monica is going to be looking for clues while undressed. One of the more annoying things about this season is that Monica always does a good job while she’s undercover, but no one ever gives her any credit for it. Instead, the other members of the bike patrol just roll their eyes and give an exasperated sigh whenever Monica says something. If they have a problem with Monica constantly flirting with all of the bad guys, they might want to talk to T.C., since he’s the one who keeps assigning her to do it.

This episode was dumb even by Pacific Blue standards. I already mentioned that it makes no sense for a bunch of uniformed bicycle cops to be investigating a high-profile murder. It also doesn’t really make any sense for a bike cop to go undercover at a strip club. I mean, isn’t that what Vice is for? There’s also a moment where T.C. tells off the FBI for trying to interfere with the investigation. I think the FBI ranks higher than the bike patrol. Finally, the kid playing young Andy was an absolutely lousy actor, and that crooked FBI agent may have been bald, but he still didn’t look that much like Billy Corgan.

Someday I’m going to run out of Pacific Blue episodes to review. It can’t come soon enough.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.17 “Scarlet Rose”

Posted on September 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bicycle cops investigate a 50 year-old cold case.

Episode 4.17 “Scarlet Rose”

(Dir by Paul Brown, originally aired on March 7th, 1999)

In the 1940s, Santa Monica was shaken by the brutal murder of an actress nicknamed the Scarlet Rose. Her ghost is said to haunt the ballroom where she used to dance and where it’s believed she met her still-unknown murderer. Now, after nearly 50 years, the ballroom is reopening as the Scarlet Rose Ballroom.

Bobby Cruz, who has long been haunted by the stories about the Scarlet Rose, attends the grand opening, where everyone is dressed like it’s the 1940s and swing dancing. When he meets Lily (LuAnne Ponce), he’s stunned because she looks just like the Scarlet Rose. Lily explains that she is Scarlet’s granddaughter and that she’s looking not only for the truth about who killed her grandmother, but also for what happened to a valuable necklace Scarlet owned.

Bobby suspects that Walter (William Schallert), an older man who hangs around the club, might have had something to do with Scarlet’s murder. He also suspects that it might somehow be linked to a recent robbery at a jewelry store. He takes his suspicions to T.C.

“We are going undercover!” T.C. announces.

Yes, this is yet another episode in which the members of Pacific Blue go undercover. These episodes never make sense to me, because the members of Pacific Blue are bicycle cops. They’re not detectives. They’re not trained to go undercover. They’re trained to ride around on their bikes, hand out traffic tickets, and secure crime scenes until the real detectives can show up.

In this episode, going undercover means that Monica gets a job singing at the club while Cory and Jamie hang out at the bar and glare at everyone like the two biggest killjoys in existence. It isn’t just that it doesn’t make any sense for these people to be working undercover. It’s also that none of them are particularly good at it. Cory and Jamie may be dressed up like 1940s femme fatales, but they still give off an immediate cop vibe.

For the record, the case of the Scarlet Rose is solved. It turns out that she was murdered by an associate of Los Angeles gangster Mickey Cohen. Considering that Cohen was a real person, it feels a little unfair to pin a fictional murder on him, but I guess Pacific Blue felt that, since he wasn’t around to complain, it wouldn’t be a problem.

(The Scarlet Rose was clearly based on the Black Dahlia murder case. It seems like every few years, someone publishes a book claiming to have solved the Black Dahlia case. Former LAPD detective Steve Hodel built an entire literary career out of accusing his late father of being responsible for the Dahlia’s murder and practically every other unsolved murder in California.)

A few positive things can be said about this episode. The 1940s-style costumes were to die for. The real-life band Jumpin’ Jimes provided the episode with a great soundtrack, and the swing dance scenes were nicely choreographed. The Scarlet Rose Ballroom looked like a fun place to hang out. Not even the dour presence of Cory and Jamie could suck the fun out of that place. Finally, old pro William Schallert gave a good performance as a potential suspect who wasn’t entirely what he seemed to be.

In other words, this was actually a pretty good episode of Pacific Blue. I’ll never understand why the bicycle cops were investigating a 50-year-old cold case, but whatever. It was still an entertaining episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.16 “Juvies”

Posted on August 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Pacific Blue embraces the melodrama.

Episode 4.16 “Juvies”

(Dir by Jim Davidson, originally aired on February 28th, 1999)

Crazed narcotics officer Perry Marcus (Roger Floyd) is back!

This time, he’s forcing a group of juvenile delinquents to set up the most dangerous drug dealers on the beach. After Adrian (David Scott Lago) and Maurice (a very young Aldis Hodge) convince a dealer to step out of his limo, Marcus guns the man down and then has Maurice plant a gun. Marcus loves to kill drug dealers, but he’s also willing to kill cops who object to his methods.

Jamie is shocked to see her little sister, Jennie (Crystal Celeste Grant), running with Adrian’s gang. Jennie hasn’t seen Jamie since they were in the foster care system together and Jamie shot their abusive stepfather. Jamie wants to save Jennie from the gang life, but she also has to deal with Internal Affairs officer Susan Jessup (Holly Gagnier). Jessup, an insane nymphomaniac who used to date T.C., threatens to reveal that Jamie shot her stepfather unless Jamie helps her build a corruption case against Chris Kelly. Jessup is still in love with T.C. and wants to get his wife in trouble. Jessup is also sleeping with Perry Marcus and warns him that Jamie is threatening to expose all of his extralegal methods.

Got all that?

This episode of Pacific Blue made even less sense than usual, but it was entertaining because Roger Floyd and Holly Gagnier both went totally over the top in their performances. They understood the assignment and left not a single piece of scenery unchewed. While the regular cast is busy trying to look tough while wearing bicycle shorts, Floyd and Gagnier are totally embracing the melodrama, and it’s exactly the approach that this silly episode needed. The end of the episode suggests that Marcus and Susan are going to be recurring villains. I certainly hope so!

One final note: keep an eye out for Greg Grunberg, who shows up as the lawyer who gets the juvie gang out of jail.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.15 “Stargazer”

Posted on August 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Pacific Blue is all about the guest stars,

Episode 4.15 “Stargazer”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on January 24th, 1999)

When he was younger, Johnny Osiris (Danny Bonaduce) was a teen idol and the star of Stargazer, a show about a singing family that lived in outer space. As an adult, Johnny is a drug addict and an alcoholic who can’t pay his rent and who eventually turns to robbing stores and pharmacies. It’s difficult to be a criminal when everyone immediately recognizes you. However, when both he and Steve Gugliermo (Noah Blake) try to rob the same pharmacy at the same time, they decide to team up. Of course, Steve is hardened master criminal while Johnny is still an amateur.

This was a bit of a melancholy episode. Chris and Cory can’t say Johnny’s name without screaming but they’re still trying to put him in jail. The younger cops don’t have the slightest idea who Johnny was. As for Johnny, his criminal career makes him a celebrity again but the episode still ends with him heading off for prison. Along with Bonaduce, the episode features Susan Olsen as Johnny’s sister, Erik Estrada as Johnny’s lawyer, and Adam West as Johnny’s father. The entire thing is full of actors who probably never thought they would someday be appearing on a show about cops who rode bikes. The whole thing feels sad.

This episode also firmly establishes that Cory and Bobby are now a couple and that everyone pretty much knows about it. Hey, Victor’s dead so I guess Cory might as well move on. Still, some of the scenes of Bobby and Cory making out generated some heat. They’re a good couple so hopefully, the show won’t screw things up.

This episode also featured a discussion of sex-ceptions, i.e. celebrities that you’re allowed to fool around with even if you’re already in a relationship. For Chris, her sex-ception was Johnny Osiris, though it never actually came down to that. For Cory, it was Mel Gibson. Granger selected Winona Ryder, Bobby went with Salma Hayek, and Jamie said Denzel Washington. Myself, I have to wonder why they assumed Salma Hayek or Denzel Washington would have anything to do with a Santa Monica bicycle cop.

Anyway, this is kind of a depressing episode. Johnny was a star but then his entire life fell apart when he wasn’t. He made a few bad decisions and he never recovered. He should have auditioned for Baywatch. Live and learn.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.12 “Cruz Control”

Posted on July 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, almost everyone’s got a secret.

Episode 4.12 “Cruz Control”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on December 13th, 1988)

I guess someone in the Pacific Blue writers’ room finally remembered that Amy Hunter joined the cast at the start of season 4 because her character, Jamie Stickland, actually gets to do something in this episode. In fact, we ever see the odd loft that she is apparently still sharing with Russ Granger.

This episode opens with Jamie gunning down a Korean smuggler. Even though it’s a “good” shooting, it’s still Jamie’s second killing in just a handful of months. Lt. Susan Jessup (Holly Gagnier, who previously played Parker Stevenson’s little-seen wife on the first season of Baywatch) uses the shooting as leverage to try to force Jamie to become a mole for Internal Affairs. When Jamie refuses, Susan threatens to reveal that Jamie lied on her police application when she said she had never been convicted of a felony. It turns out that, when Jamie was 15, she was convicted of manslaughter after she shot her abusive foster father. When Jamie continues to resist the pressure to spy on her fellow cops, Susan suddenly talks about “Internal Affairs is very erotic.” By the end of the episode, it appears that Jamie is ready to become an IA informant so I guess the erotic line worked.

Meanwhile, Bobby Cruz goes AWOL for two days so that he can track down Lee Kwan (Karen Kim), a model who, years earlier, accidentally ran over Bobby’s parents while driving too fast. Lee was acquitted in court and Bobby has been dreaming of revenge ever since. When it becomes apparent that Lee has become involved with a smuggling operation, Bobby goes rogue to try to get her sent to prison.

Meanwhile, Monica goes undercover as a model because, on this show, all bicycle cops can go undercover at a moment’s notice. The undercover storyline doesn’t really go anywhere but it does give Monica an excuse to show TC her portfolio. Cory sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes, which is pretty much her standard response to Monica doing anything that would indicate that she’s still alive.

This was a busy episode. All of the regular characters, with the exception of Darlene Vogel’s Chris Kelly, made an appearance. That said, busy does not necessarily equal good or even interesting. Bobby’s decision to go AWOL never made much sense but then again, Pacific Blue itself has never made much sense. A bunch of people barking out orders while wearing bicycle shorts will never make sense. At the very least, though, we did get to see Mario Lopez doing the “big” acting. There was never an episode of Saved By The Bell in which Slater got hooked on rage-inducing drugs but Pacific Blue gives us an idea of what that would have been like.

By the end of the episode, Lee Kwan is dead, Bobby is back on his bike, and Jamie’s a rat. Hopefully, this will somehow lead to TC getting sent to prison for embezzlement or something. That’s my hope!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.10 “Thrill Week”

Posted on July 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the local college fraternity is out of control and somehow, it’s up to the bicycle patrol to restore order to the campus.

Episode 4.10 “Thrill Week”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on November 29th, 1998)

It’s rush week, which means that the beach is full of drunk college students. Fortunately, the bike patrol is there to keep the peace. Bobby Cruz is upset when he discovers that his teenager sister, Teresa (Susan Enriquez), is hanging out at the rush events, drinking beer, smoking, and hooking up with frat boys.

So, let’s see. Bobby is a Latino bicycle cop who grew up in a poor neighborhood. He flirts with Cory. He’s fiercely overprotective of his teenage sister. So, basically, he’s exactly like Victor del Toro, except for the fact that he’s played by Mario Lopez. It wouldn’t surprise me if, when Lopez was handed this script, someone had just gone through and crossed-out Victor’s name and written in Bobby’s name instead.

Anyway, the frat hazing is getting out-of-hand so TC decides to send Granger in undercover. (I know I ask this every week but, seriously, why are bicycle cops doing undercover work?) TC is a former member of the fraternity so he introduces Granger as being his nephew and arranges for Granger to be accepted into the frat as a legacy. At first, Granger has no interest in being a member of a frat but then he sees all the beer and changes his mind.

What’s the plot here? Good question. Tanner Sexton (Thomas Caron) attempts to drug and rape his ex-girlfriend at a fraternity party but, fortunately, Bobby and Cory show up in time to stop him. (Granger helps Teressa escape being caught at the party by punching Bobby.) Despite the fact that he’s dating his son’s ex, Tanner’s father (Clint Carmichael) pulls some strings and gets Tanner released from jail.

Later, Bobby, Cory, and TC confront Tanner at the frat house and Tanner pulls a gun. Bobby shoots Tanner in the shoulder. “You’ll be okay,” TC tells Tanner. Uhmm, the dude just get shot in the shoulder. That’s not a minor wound!

Eh. Who cares? This episode was dumber than usual. I’m less concerned about the frat and more curious as to why new cast members Shanna Moakler and Amy Hunter always seem to be absent (or, in Hunter’s case, mostly absent) from any episode involving Granger. For that matter, Darlene Vogel was missing from this episode as well. One gets the feeling that show couldn’t afford to ever have the entire cast in the same episode at the same time.

Four seasons in and this show has yet to convince that a bike patrol is even necessary.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.7 “Damaged Goods”

Posted on June 16, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bike cops are it again.

Episode 4.7 “Damaged Goods”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on October 4th, 1998)

Bobby has a new girlfriend named Annie (Tracy Hutson). Bobby says that he’s in love with her. Meanwhile, Granger is in lust with Annie’s best friend, Jo (Shannon Elizabeth, in an early role). After Granger sleeps with Jo, Jo tells him that he owes her $200. It turns out that both Jo and Annie get paid to have sex. Meanwhile, Annie’s roommate is found dead below a 6-story window.

Chris is convinced that Annie’s roommate was murdered. TC and Cory disagree. TC is especially angry because he thinks Chris is spending too much time hanging out with her friends in Homicide. Oddly enough, none of those friends show up in this episode. As well. no one from the Vice Squad shows up to investigate the campus prostitution ring. Instead, this is yet another episode where it somehow all falls to the bicycle cops.

Monica goes undercover and joins Jo and Annie’s therapy group, where Dr. Alicia Alper (Joyce Hyser) teaches that prostitution is empowering. Soon, Jo recruits Monica to work as a an escort. Or, at least, I think it was Jo. This episode is edited in such a haphazard way that it was hard to keep track of what was actually going on.

This episode finds Cory worrying about how she’s going to survive as a single mom. Her ex-boyfriend, Doug (Owen McKibben), returns and says that he wants to be in the baby’s life. Cory says that it’s been over a month since Doug reacted to the news of her pregnancy by walking out on her. Doug threatens to sue for the right to be a part of the baby’s life. Cory has a miscarriage. She says it was due to the stress Doug put her under. Doug says that it was due to Cory still working a very physically demanding and rough job despite being pregnant. I felt so bad for Cory in this episode, especially since the only person (other than Doug) who bothered to visit her in the hospital was Chris, who is pretty much incapable of feeling or showing emotion.

Anyway, it turns out that Annie’s roommate was murdered by a client and then the client was murdered by Dr. Alper. However, when the bike cops arrest her, several other woman all walk up and declares that Dr. Alper is innocent because they killed the client. However, Dr. Alper confesses. Bobby breaks up with his girlfriend. That’s probably for the best. Everyone knows Bobby should be with Monica.

This episode …. oh God. I mean, it tried to liven things up a little. There were a lot of intense interrogation scenes and a lot of jump cuts that were apparently meant to create tension. We would watch Chris ask a question and then jump to someone in a totally different room answering an unrelated question. It was very showy but it wasn’t very effective. These folks aren’t hard-boiled detectives. They’re bicycle cops.

Seriously, where were the real detectives?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.5 “Overkill”

Posted on May 26, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time for another stupid trip to L.A.

Episode 4.5 “Overkill”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on August 23rd, 1998)

Jamie is learning martial arts from Master Soo Han (Yoshi Jenkins). When she is saved from a group of muggers by a fellow classmate named Kyle (Matty Liu), she starts to fall in love with him. Soon, he is teaching her how to be a better fighter. For some reason, Jamie doesn’t tell Kyle that she’s a cop. That makes things awkward when Kyle realizes that 1) the man who killed his mother is a student in the class and 2) Kyle is being groomed to be a government assassin.

I’ve always said that you can tell when a show has cast a professional athlete in a guest role because the athlete is always the worst actor in the episode. That was certainly the case here. At first, I was sure that Matty Liu was a professional martial artist. It turns out that he’s actually a pro surfer but still, my point stands. It doesn’t matter how many camera tricks or jump cuts the show uses to make Liu look like a badass, he’s still an amazingly stiff actor. The scenes of him and Jamie falling in love don’t work because he’s not capable of showing any emotion, let alone love.

Speaking of love, Chris is still mad that her husband didn’t select her to be promoted to sergeant. When she discovers a murder victim, she impresses Homicide Detective Thomas (Carl T. Evans) by figuring out that the victim died from a — wait for it — broken neck. WOW! Amazing deduction, Chris! I mean, how difficult is it to spot a broken neck? Even though Chris is neither a medical examiner nor a detective, Thomas invites her to fill in for a sick Homicide detective. Chris accepts.

TC’s not happy about that! Actually, TC’s never happy. He’s been in charge of Pacific Blue for five episodes now and he hasn’t smiled once. He has spent a lot of time glaring. In fact, both he and Cory spend most of their time glaring at other people now. I guess that’s what you do when you’re in charge, management by glaring.

Finally, Bobby and Spazz compete over — wait a minute, I got a name wrong there. What is Spazz’s real name? Is it Granger? Yeah, okay, sorry about that. Bobby and Granger serve as body guards for a French actress (Lydie Denier), who claims that she’s being stalked. Bobby has seen all of her films but she’s more attracted to Spazz, for some reason. Sorry, Bobby! I would have picked you.

Anyway, this was one of Pacific Blue’s dumbest episodes yet. Chris is even more whiny than usual. TC and Cory are useless. Jamie and Kyle’s fight scenes are edited in such a way that one gets dizzy trying to follow them. This episode featured bad acting and worst direction, No wonder Chris wants to transfer to Homicide.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.3 “Seduced”

Posted on May 12, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bicycle cops clean up Malibu.

Episode 4.3 “Seduced”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on August 9th, 1998)

Last week, I said that it appeared that the Pacific Blue recruits were no longer living in their funky loft. Well, it turns out I was wrong. This episode opens with Granger at the funky loft, hosting a party. Unfortunately, the party comes to an abrupt end when Granger tries to play an adult movie on his totally hip VCR. Uh-oh — it turns out that the lead actress in Barely Legal is the 16 year-old sister of one of Granger’s (dead) friends!

(She’s also played by Alison Lohman, a reminder that everyone had to start somewhere.)

Granger and Bobby Cruz set out to take down Malibu’s adult movie underground. TC agrees to help by telling Jamie Strickland to go undercover as a film student who needs a job. Strickland says that she’ll do it but she’s not going to have sex on camera. However, once she reaches the set, the sleazy director decides to put her in the film. Strickland calls Cory. Cory says, “We can’t pull you out now.”

Really? You can’t? Why are bicycle cops even going undercover?

Meanwhile, Playpen magazine offers Monica money to pose for them. They offer even more money if Monica can get the other women of Pacific Blue to pose as well. Needless to say, the other women of Pacific Blue are not willing to pose and they talk about how demeaning Playpen is for women. (Cory, who is pregnant but not showing, is at least tempted.) But the show still features a lengthy montage of Monica’s photoshoot. This show always tries to have it both ways.

This episode probably would have worked better if Granger was actually an interesting character but he’s not. It also would have helped if we knew anything about Strickland’s character, beyond the fact that she’s super-competent, but we don’t. Even the veteran characters — TC, Chris, and Cory — don’t really have any personality. Thankfully, this season has got Mario Lopez playing Bobby Cruz like A.C. Slater on a bicycle and Shanna Moakler, playing Monica as a scheming agent of chaos. Only Lopez and Moakler seem to to have really understood what type of show they were on.