Icarus File No. 31: The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.


“I’m looking for the coming thing.” — Brisco County, Jr.

Few television series embrace their own oddness as joyfully as The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.. Blending frontier shootouts, pulp-serial adventure, broad comedy, sci-fi weirdness, and old-fashioned heroics into one deliberately unruly package, the short-lived Bruce Campbell vehicle has only grown more distinctive with time. It ran for a single season between 1993 and 1994, produced 27 episodes, and then vanished from network television before it had the chance to fully grow into the strange, funny, action-packed cult institution it deserved to be. That short life is part of its legend now. The show remains a wonderfully odd hybrid: a Western, an adventure serial, a sci-fi mystery, a screwball comedy, a buddy show, and a loving parody of old-fashioned television heroics. It was never content to simply be one thing, and that creative restlessness is exactly why it was so distinctive.

Bruce Campbell stars as Brisco County, Jr., a Harvard-educated lawyer who becomes a bounty hunter after the murder of his father, legendary lawman Brisco County, Sr. At first glance, that setup sounds like the foundation for a hard-edged revenge Western. Brisco is hired by a group of wealthy robber barons to track down John Bly, a charismatic outlaw who escaped after killing Brisco’s father. The show does not ignore that emotional hook, either. Campbell gives Brisco just enough sincerity that the character’s grief and desire to live up to his father’s reputation land when they need to. But the series almost immediately makes clear that it has no interest in being grim prestige television before prestige television was even a common phrase. Brisco may be motivated by vengeance, but he is also a cheerful idiot at times, an inventor’s dream customer, a romantic disaster, and a man genuinely enthusiastic about the future.

That optimism is one of the show’s most charming qualities. Brisco lives in 1893, but he is obsessed with modernity: bicycles, early automobiles, telephones, scientific gadgets, anything that might make the Old West feel less old. He repeatedly calls these new inventions “the coming thing,” often with the confidence of someone who knows history is on his side even when the technology in front of him is barely functional. It is a funny recurring bit, but it also gives the series an unusual personality. Brisco is not a traditional Western hero longing for a disappearing frontier. He is a cowboy-lawyer-adventurer who wants to survive the frontier and help drag it toward the twentieth century.

Campbell is the ideal actor for that balancing act. He had already built a devoted following through the Evil Dead films, where he proved he could sell broad physical comedy, cartoonish bravado, and genuine intensity all at once. The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. puts those qualities to excellent use. Campbell looks like the square-jawed hero of a classic matinee serial, but he plays Brisco with a sly awareness of how ridiculous the genre can be. He can throw a punch, ride a horse, fire a gun, and deliver a tough-guy line, then immediately get tangled in a rope, outsmarted by a con artist, or humiliated by one of his own overconfident schemes. The show never treats him as incompetent exactly; Brisco is clever, brave, and unusually resourceful. But it understands that a hero is more entertaining when the universe keeps refusing to cooperate.

The early arc involving John Bly gives the show a memorable villain and a sense of forward momentum. Billy Drago, a genre veteran with one of the most instantly sinister faces and voices in film and television, plays Bly as a quietly unnerving outlaw rather than a loud, swaggering gunslinger. Drago had already become familiar to audiences through roles in crime thrillers, Westerns, horror, and action stories, and his presence adds serious genre street credibility to the series. He is particularly good at making Bly feel unpredictable. The character is intelligent, dangerous, and often strangely philosophical, with Drago giving even a casual line enough menace to make it sound like a threat. His addition helps sell the idea that, beneath the jokes and gadget-driven chaos, Brisco really is moving through a world populated by lethal people.

The show’s supporting cast is equally important to its success. Julius Carry’s Lord Bowler is the real secret weapon. Initially a rival bounty hunter with a powerful need to claim rewards before Brisco does, Bowler evolves into Brisco’s closest partner and one of the series’ most dependable sources of cool. Carry plays him with perfect deadpan timing, making Bowler’s irritation at Brisco’s eccentricities endlessly funny. Their chemistry is the foundation of the series. Brisco talks too much, overthinks everything, and barrels into trouble; Bowler observes, grumbles, and then saves the day when necessary. Their partnership has the rhythm of a classic buddy-action pairing, except it exists in a world where a frontier saloon might contain a mad inventor, an escaped criminal mastermind, and a mysterious glowing orb all in the same episode.

That orb is one of the show’s boldest ideas. Known as the Orb, it becomes the central sci-fi element in a series already packed with anachronistic comedy and pulp adventure. It possesses strange powers, influences human behavior, and hints at a much bigger mythology than the show ever had time to fully explain. The Orb plotline is not always the cleanest element of the series, but it matters because it shows how willing the creators were to push beyond ordinary Western storytelling. One week, Brisco might be hunting a gang of outlaws; the next, he might be dealing with supernatural powers, secret conspiracies, bizarre inventions, or stories that feel pulled from a 1930s adventure comic. The result is a show that can feel like The Wild Wild West, Indiana Jones, and a Saturday-morning serial filtered through a 1990s sitcom sensibility.

In that sense, The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. was ahead of its time in the way it fused different genres into one coherent theme and narrative. The series never treated its Western setting, science-fiction mythology, slapstick humor, action serial influences, and detective-story plotting as separate gimmicks awkwardly stapled together. All of those elements were filtered through Brisco himself: a hero caught between an old frontier world and the uncertain promise of the future. His fascination with progress, invention, and “the coming thing” gave the show a thematic center strong enough to make even its strangest detours feel like part of the same larger adventure. What might have looked like a mess on paper usually plays as a deliberate expression of the show’s central idea: the Old West was changing, and Brisco was exactly the kind of eccentric hero built to stumble, joke, and fight his way into that change.

That same genre blending, however, likely confused audiences when the series first aired. In 1993, viewers and network marketers generally had a much easier time selling a show that could be described in one clean sentence. A Western was a Western. A sitcom was a sitcom. A science-fiction series was a science-fiction series. Brisco was all of those things at once, sometimes within the same episode. Its tonal shifts were part of the fun for viewers who connected with it, but they may have made it difficult for casual audiences to know what kind of show they were committing to every week. It was too playful and surreal for people expecting a straight Western, but its period setting could also make it seem less accessible to viewers looking for a more conventional action-comedy or sci-fi series.

Critics largely recognized how clever this mixture was. The show earned praise for its humor, its self-aware but affectionate approach to genre material, its charismatic cast, and its willingness to combine Western action with science fiction and absurdist comedy. Yet those very strengths also help explain why it was so short-lived. The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. was difficult to market in the conventional network-TV landscape. Its placement did not help, either. The show aired on Fox during a period when the network was still building an identity and competing for viewers against much more established broadcasters. It arrived alongside other ambitious but unconventional Fox programming, including The X-Files, but Brisco did not become the breakout hit that its better-known network sibling did.

There is a strong argument that the series would have found a much bigger audience at the turn of the century, or even later. By the late 1990s and early 2000s, audiences had become increasingly comfortable with shows that mixed tones, genres, mythology, comedy, and serialized storytelling. Viewers were more willing to follow eccentric high-concept series whose worlds did not fit neatly into one category, especially as cable television, DVD collections, online fandom, and eventually streaming made it easier to discover a show outside its original broadcast slot. Brisco could have benefited enormously from that environment. Its episodic adventures would have made it easy to casually enjoy, while the larger mysteries around John Bly and the Orb would have rewarded devoted viewers. It is easy to imagine the show building a far larger fanbase through word of mouth, repeat viewing, and a culture more eager to embrace unapologetically nerdy genre experimentation.

That mismatch between quality and ratings is why the show became such a cult fan favorite. Fans who found it did not merely enjoy it; they tended to become attached to its specific flavor. The series offers a version of television adventure that feels generous rather than cynical. It wants to entertain first. Its jokes are broad but rarely mean-spirited, its action is energetic without becoming joyless, and its heroes are allowed to be capable, kind, foolish, and enthusiastic at the same time. Campbell’s performance became central to his larger cult-TV identity, while Carry’s Bowler remains one of the great underrated sidekicks in genre television. Even the show’s oddities—the Orb, the outlandish gadgets, the deliberately pulpy villains, the historical inaccuracies played for laughs—are not flaws to fans. They are the reason the series has lasted in memory.

Ultimately, The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. is a lovable one-season wonder because it refuses to fit neatly into a box. It is a Western that looks toward the future, an action series that enjoys making its hero the punchline, and a sci-fi adventure that never loses sight of the human fun of two bounty hunters bickering their way across the frontier. Its cancellation remains disappointing because there was clearly more territory to explore, especially with Brisco, Bowler, Bly, and the Orb mythology. But the short run also preserves the show’s charm. It never had time to become routine. It remains a fast, funny, deeply peculiar burst of television imagination—and a reminder that sometimes the most enduring cult shows are the ones too weird, too ambitious, and too specific to become ordinary hits.

Previous Icarus Files:

  1. Cloud Atlas
  2. Maximum Overdrive
  3. Glass
  4. Captive State
  5. Mother!
  6. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote
  7. Last Days
  8. Plan 9 From Outer Space
  9. The Last Movie
  10. 88
  11. The Bonfire of the Vanities
  12. Birdemic
  13. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection 
  14. Last Exit To Brooklyn
  15. Glen or Glenda
  16. The Assassination of Trotsky
  17. Che!
  18. Brewster McCloud
  19. American Traitor: The Trial of Axis Sally
  20. Tough Guys Don’t Dance
  21. Reach Me
  22. Revolution
  23. The Last Tycoon
  24. Express to Terror 
  25. 1941
  26. The Teheran Incident
  27. Con Man
  28. Looker
  29. 1776
  30. Here

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 6.4 “Rock Devil Rock”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch learns about shock rock!

Episode 6.4 “Rock Devil Rock”

(Dir by John Astin, originally aired on October 31st, 1982)

It’s a Halloween episode of CHiPs!

Moloch (Don Most) is a singer who wears frightful makeup and sings songs like “Devil Take Me” but, once he takes off the makeup, he’s a rather meek and mild-mannered drummer who feels that he’s been forced to embrace an image that doesn’t fit him.  His manager (Peter Marshall) is convinced that Moloch can be the biggest star ever.  His manager is also trying to kill Moloch in order to guarantee that Moloch’s new record will hit the top of the charts.  He’s even included backwards messages in Moloch’s music.  Moloch will die …. Moloch will die….

Most of the Highway Patrol believes that Moloch is faking the numerous attempts on his life.  However, Ponch believes that Moloch is being targeted.  Luckily, Ponch is able to save Moloch because this is….

The Highway Patrol also holds their annual Halloween party.  Elvira, Mistress of the Dark shows up as herself and shares a dance with Ponch.  Ponch dresses up like a matador.  Bobby shows up as a Musketeer.  Getraer dresses up like General Patton but he doesn’t get to dance with Elvira.  That’s Ponch’s job.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 6.1 “Meet The New Guy”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, we start the sixth and final season of CHiPs.

Episode 6.1 “Meet the New Guy”

(Dir by John Astin, originally aired on October 10th, 1982)

The sixth season of CHiPs opens up with some changes.  Bonnie, Bear, and Turner are all gone.  They’ve been replaced by Kathy (Tina Gayle) and Officer Webster (Clarence Gilyard, Jr.)  Grossman (Paul Linke) is still providing comedic relief.  Harlan (Lou Wagner) is still running the garage.  Getraer (Robert Pine) is still the sarge.  And Ponch (Erik Estrada) is still riding his motorcycle and flashing his grin.

However, this episode finds Ponch riding solo.  Officer Baker is no longer his partner.  This was because Larry Wilcox declined to return for another season, specifically because he felt that the producers only cared about keeping Estrada happy.  On the show, it’s mentioned that Baker has relocated to Wyoming and he is now working on his father’s ranch.  Ponch, however, is not without a partner for long.  At the start of the episode, he meets Baker’s replacement.  Bobby Nelson (Tom Reilly) is blonde and kind of spacey and he’s nicknamed “hot dog” because he likes to take risks.  Ponch has been assigned to work as Nelson’s partner throughout Nelson’s probationary period.  Getraer explains that Nelson reminds him of Ponch.

And really, that’s the problem.  Ponch is a flamboyant motorcycle cop who smiles a lot and likes to take risks.  Bobby is another flamboyant motorcycle cop who smiles a lot and likes to take risks.  There’s not much difference between them.  Even though Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada didn’t get along behind the scenes, Baker and Ponch worked as a team because Baker was the opposite of Ponch.  Baker was serious and by-the-book and he didn’t take unnecessary risks.  Bobby, on the other hand, is pretty much just a blonde version of Ponch.

There is another problem as far as Bobby Nelson is concerned.  Judging from this episode, Tom Reilly doesn’t appear to have been much of an actor.  Larry Wilcox may not have had the most expansive emotional range but he was totally believable as a cop.  Reilly, meanwhile, spends the entire episode looking somewhat spaced out.  He delivers his lines in a flat monotone.  From the start, there’s very little chemistry between him and Estrada.  When Ponch complains about getting a new partner, one gets the feeling that he was expressing Estrada’s own feelings.

That said, this episode isn’t all bad.  It opens with one of the most spectacular crashes in the show’s history.  The tragic Dominique Dunne gives a strong performance as a teenage mother who sells her baby to a couple but then decides that she wants him back.  This episode even manages to work quicksand into its finale.  How can you not appreciate a show that makes use of quicksand?

Finally, this episode has one extended sequence that is so ludicrous that you just can’t help but smile while watching it.  Two thieves have been robbing health clubs.  They just happen to rob the one where Ponch is a member.  (Fitness guru Richard Simmons plays Ponch’s teacher.)  Ponch, clad only in a pair of black shorts and a motorcycle helmet, jumps on his motorcycle and chases after the robbers.  The site of a half-naked Erik Estrada riding his motorcycle down the streets of Los Angeles is the perfect combination of silly and stupid.

This episode had its moments but I’m not really sold on Tom Reilly as a replacement for Larry Wilcox.  We’ll see what happens!

Horror on TV: The Night America Trembled (dir by Tom Donovan)


Filmed in 1957 for a television program called Westinghouse Studio One, The Night America Trembled is a dramatization of the night that Orson Welles terrified America with his radio adaptation of War of The Worlds.  

For legal reasons, Orson Welles is not portrayed nor is his name mentioned.  Instead, the focus is mostly on the people listening to the broadcast and getting the wrong idea.  That may sound like a comedy but The Night America Trembled takes itself fairly seriously.  Even pompous old Edward R. Murrow shows up to narrate the film, in between taking drags off a cigarette.

Clocking in at a brisk 60 minutes, The Night America Trembled is an interesting recreation of that October 30th.  Among the people panicking: a group of people in a bar who, before hearing the broadcast, were debating whether or not Hitler was as crazy as people said he was, a babysitter who goes absolutely crazy with fear, and a group of poker-playing college students.  If, like me, you’re a frequent viewer of TCM, you may recognize some of the faces in the large cast: Ed Asner, James Coburn, John Astin, Warren Oates, and Warren Beatty all make early appearances.

It’s an interesting little historical document and you can watch it below!

#SundayShorts with THE FRIGHTENERS (1996)!


In the 1980’s I was a huge fan of Michael J. Fox. Alex P. Keaton was my hero, and BACK TO THE FUTURE and TEEN WOLF are two of my favorite 80’s movies. In the early 2000’s I became a huge fan of Director Peter Jackson due to his LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy. Made in 1996, THE FRIGHTENERS is the only Peter Jackson film I had seen prior to the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy. I saw THE FRIGHTENERS at the movie theater in 1996, and I loved it. It was different than I was expecting going in, but it has one hell of cast. I had not seen any of Jeffrey Combs’ work prior to this movie, and he totally cracked me up. Throw in a ghostly Chi McBride whose character even references Charles Bronson* at one point, and I’m hooked. Peter Jackson directing Michael J. Fox. Now that’s a match made in heaven!

*BONUS – Chi McBride as Cyrus
:

“All right, man, this is it. We gotta be hard. No mercy. We’re going in like professionals, like Charles Bronson. We don’t stop till the screaming starts, you dig?”

Insomnia File #69: Candy (dir by Christian Marquand)


What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable or streaming? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If you find yourself having trouble getting to sleep tonight, you can always pass the time by watching the 1968 film, Candy.  It’s currently on Tubi.

Based on a satirical novel by Terry Southern and Mason Hoffenberg, Candy follows Candy Christian (Ewa Aulin), a naive teenager from middle America as she has a number of increasingly surreal adventures, the majority of which end with her getting sexually assaulted by one of the film’s special guest stars.  It’s very much a film of the 60s, in that it’s anti-establishment without actually seeming to know who the establishment is.  It opens with a lengthy sequence that appears to be taking place in outer space.  It ends with an extended sequence of Candy walking amongst the film’s cast and a bunch of random hippies.  Director Christian Marquand appears as himself, directing the film.  Yep, this is one of those films where the director and the film crew show up and you’re supposed to be say, “Far out, I didn’t realize I was watching a movie, man.”

The whole thing is a bit of a misfire.  The novel was meant to be smut that satirized smut.  The film isn’t really clever enough to work on any sort of real satirical level.  As was the case with a lot of studio-made “psychedelic” films in the 60s, everything is a bit too obvious and overdone.  Casting the Swedish Ewa Aulin as a character who was meant to represent middle America was just one of the film’s missteps.  Based on The Graduate, Mike Nichols probably could have made a clever film out of Candy.  The French Christian Marquand, a protegee of Roger Vadim’s, can not because he refuses to get out of the film’s way.  It’s all jump cuts, flashy cinematography, and attempts to poke fun at American culture by someone who obviously knew nothing about America beyond the jokes told in Paris.

That said, the main reason that anyone would watch this film would be for the collection of guest stars who all show up and try to take advantage of Candy.  Richard Burton plays an alcoholic poet named MacPhisto and his appearance goes on for far too long.  (Burton, not surprisingly, appears to actually be drunk for the majority of his scenes.)  Ringo Star — yes, Ringo Starr — plays a Mexican gardener who assaults Candy after getting turned on by the sight of MacPhisto humping a mannequin.  When Emmanuel’s sisters try to attack Candy, she and her parents escape on a military plane that is commanded by Walter Matthau.  Landing in New York, Candy’s brain-damaged father (John Astin) is operated on by a brilliant doctor (James Coburn) who later seduces Candy after she faints at a cocktail party.  Candy’s uncle (John Astin, again) also tries to seduce Candy, leading to Candy getting lost in New York, meeting a hunchback (Charles Aznavour), and then eventually ending up with a guru (Marlon Brando).  Candy’s adventures climax with a particularly sick joke that requires a bit more skill to pull off than this film can afford.

If you’re wondering how all of these famous people ended up in this movie, you have Brando to thank (or blame).  Christian Marquand was Brando’s best friend and Marlon even named his son after him.  After Brando agreed to appear in the film, the rest of the actors followed.  Brando, Burton, and Coburn received a share of the film’s profits and Coburn later said that his entire post-1968 lifestyle was pretty much paid for by Candy.  That seems appropriate as, out of all the guest stars, Coburn i the only one who actually gives an interesting performance.  Burton is too drunk, Matthau is too embarrassed, Starr is too amateurish, and Brando is too self-amused to really be interesting in the film.  Coburn, however, seems to be having a blast, playing his doctor as being a medical cult leader.

Candy is very much a film of 1968.  It has some value as a cultural relic.  Ultimately, it’s main interest is as an example of how the studios tried (and failed) to latch onto the counterculture zeitgeist.

Previous Insomnia Files:

  1. Story of Mankind
  2. Stag
  3. Love Is A Gun
  4. Nina Takes A Lover
  5. Black Ice
  6. Frogs For Snakes
  7. Fair Game
  8. From The Hip
  9. Born Killers
  10. Eye For An Eye
  11. Summer Catch
  12. Beyond the Law
  13. Spring Broke
  14. Promise
  15. George Wallace
  16. Kill The Messenger
  17. The Suburbans
  18. Only The Strong
  19. Great Expectations
  20. Casual Sex?
  21. Truth
  22. Insomina
  23. Death Do Us Part
  24. A Star is Born
  25. The Winning Season
  26. Rabbit Run
  27. Remember My Name
  28. The Arrangement
  29. Day of the Animals
  30. Still of The Night
  31. Arsenal
  32. Smooth Talk
  33. The Comedian
  34. The Minus Man
  35. Donnie Brasco
  36. Punchline
  37. Evita
  38. Six: The Mark Unleashed
  39. Disclosure
  40. The Spanish Prisoner
  41. Elektra
  42. Revenge
  43. Legend
  44. Cat Run
  45. The Pyramid
  46. Enter the Ninja
  47. Downhill
  48. Malice
  49. Mystery Date
  50. Zola
  51. Ira & Abby
  52. The Next Karate Kid
  53. A Nightmare on Drug Street
  54. Jud
  55. FTA
  56. Exterminators of the Year 3000
  57. Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster
  58. The Haunting of Helen Walker
  59. True Spirit
  60. Project Kill
  61. Replica
  62. Rollergator
  63. Hillbillys In A Haunted House
  64. Once Upon A Midnight Scary
  65. Girl Lost
  66. Ghosts Can’t Do It
  67. Heist
  68. Mind, Body & Soul

Bonus Horror on TV: The Night America Trembled (dir by Tom Donovan)


Filmed in 1957 for a television program called Westinghouse Studio One, The Night America Trembled is a dramatization of the night that Orson Welles terrified America with his radio adaptation of War of The Worlds.  

For legal reasons, Orson Welles is not portrayed nor is his name mentioned.  Instead, the focus is mostly on the people listening to the broadcast and getting the wrong idea.  That may sound like a comedy but The Night America Trembled takes itself fairly seriously.  Even pompous old Edward R. Murrow shows up to narrate the film, in between taking drags off a cigarette.

Clocking in at a brisk 60 minutes, The Night America Trembled is an interesting recreation of that October 30th.  Among the people panicking: a group of people in a bar who, before hearing the broadcast, were debating whether or not Hitler was as crazy as people said he was, a babysitter who goes absolutely crazy with fear, and a group of poker-playing college students.  If, like me, you’re a frequent viewer of TCM, you may recognize some of the faces in the large cast: Ed Asner, James Coburn, John Astin, Warren Oates, and Warren Beatty all make early appearances.

It’s an interesting little historical document and you can watch it below!

A Blast From The Past: The Night America Trembled (dir by Tom Donovan)


Filmed in 1957 for a television program called Westinghouse Studio One, The Night America Trembled is a dramatization of the night in 1938 when Orson Welles’s adaptation of H.G. Wells’s The War of the Worlds reportedly caused a panic amongst listeners.

For legal reasons, Orson Welles is not portrayed nor is his name mentioned.  Instead, the focus is mostly on the people listening to the broadcast and getting the wrong idea.  That may sound like a comedy but The Night America Trembled takes itself fairly seriously, complete with Edward R. Murrow narrating and taking drags off of a cigarette.

Clocking in at a brisk 60 minutes, The Night America Trembled is an interesting recreation of that October 30th.  Among the people panicking are a large collection of future stars and character actors.  Ed Asner, James Coburn, John Astin, Warren Oates, and Warren Beatty all make early appearances.

It’s an interesting historical document and you can watch it below!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 2.5 “The Museum” and 2.6 “Gabe Under Pressure”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Sweathogs meet John Astin and Gabe goes to the doctor!

Episode 2.5 “The Museum”

(Dir by Bill Davis, originally aired on October 28th, 1976)

Mr. Woodman steps out of his office, just to find Gabe waiting for him.

“Mr. Woodman,” Gabe says, “did I ever tell you about the black sheep of my family?”

“I thought that was you,” Woodman replies.

Wow!  Woodman has clearly already won this exchange but Gabe still proceeds to tell Mr. Woodman about his Uncle Lefty Kotter, who was a gambler.  Mr. Woodman dramatically sighs and walks out of the office.  See, Gabe, not everyone’s as patient as Julie.

After the opening credits, we find Gabe and Julie preparing the Sweathogs for a field trip to the Museum of Natural History.  Barbarino is super excited because he’s never been to a real museum before.  He explains that he did go to a wax museum once.  “I saw Raquel Welch,” Barbarino explains, “Did you know that wax come right off in your hands?”

When Mr. Woodman comes out of his office to complain about the Sweathogs being taken off campus, Epstein explains that they’ve decide to take Woodman to the museum with them.  Freddie announces that Woodman is going to be his field trip buddy.  Personally, I think it would be fun to go on a field trip with Mr. Woodman because Mr. Woodman is clearly insane.

When the Sweathogs reach the museum, it actually looks a lot like one of those “horror dungeon museums” that always seem to pop up around Halloween.

Arnold is frightened of the museum and tosses a bunch of salt over his shoulder and into Epstein’s eyes.  (Yes, Arnold is carrying a salt shaker with him.)  Gabe asks the museum curator, Mr. Gore (John Astin), to assure Arnold that there is no reason to be scared.  Mr. Gore explains that his name is pronounced “Gor-ay,” and then says that there are powers in the world about which one should not joke.  “There are forces here,” Gore explains, “that do not appreciate one-liners!”  Uh-oh, Gabe’s in trouble!

Barbarino and Freddie are also in trouble because they’ve entered an exclusive room that is home to an Egyptian mummy!

“This room is for VIPs only!” Mr. Gore declares.

“I am a VIP,” Barbarino protests.  “I’m a Very Italian Person.”

Mr. Gore agrees to show the Sweathogs the Egyptian room on the condition that they touch nothing.  “Or else you’ll risk the wrath of the pharohs!”  Julie proceeds to say that the mummy doesn’t look a day over 2500 years old.  Gabe jokes about the Mummy being named Pew.  Mr. Gore, having grown annoyed, dares Gabe to open a cursed sarcophogus and risk the Mummy coming back to life.  Gabe opens it, just to have Horshack step out of it.

“Hello,” Horshack says, “how are ya?”

Gore faints.  Woodman announces that it’s time for the Sweathogs to return to the school.  One problem, the door to the Egyptian room has slammed shut and cannot be opened.  “Its the Curse of Pew!” a delirious Gore says.

Gabe explains that they’ll probably be trapped in the room until the next morning and then proceeds to give a mock eulogy for Pew The Mummy.

“We’re doomed!” Woodman shouts, “All doomed!”

Mr. Gore finally wakes up and says that he’s sure the curator will come to their rescue.

“Mr. Gor-ay,” Gabe says, “You’re the curator”

“How unfortunate,” Gore replies.

With everyone trapped in the Egyptian Room together, Horshack worries that he’ll never get a chance to meet Marie Osmond.  When Gabe notices that there’s an air duct that someone could crawl through to get help, Horshack volunteers.  Unfortunately, it turns out that the air duct just circles around the room so Horshack returns and continues to think about becoming an Osmond.

“I may be dying,” Woodman yells, “But I’m taking you Sweathogs with me!  The mummy is going to get us if we don’t get out!”

Mr. Gore suggests that the Mummy might be satisfied with a human sacrifice.  Woodman calls for Horshack to come over.

Fortunately, Epstein says that he’s seen enough home repair shows to know how to find “the stress part” of the door and open it.  He taps on the door and …. it opens!  The audience goes wild, even if it does seem like kind of an anticlimactic way to end the episode.  But at least Epstein got to be the hero for once.

This episode was cartoonish, even by the standards of Welcome Back Kotter, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that this episode aired three days before Halloween.  This was a holiday episode and I imagine it was a lot of fun when viewed on a dark and stormy night in 1976.

Episode 2.6 “Gabe Under Pressure”

(Dir by Jay Sandrich, originally aired on November 4th, 1976)

Julie brings Gabe his lunch.

“Did I ever tell you about my uncle who thought he was a horse?” Gabe asks.  He proceeds to tell her about him.  Julie smiles tolerantly.

As for the main storyline, the free clinic (where Julie volunteers) is offering free physicals at Buchanan High.  Gabe expects the Sweathogs to take advantage of the offer but he himself refuses to go to the doctor to find out why he has a pain in his chest.  It turns out that Gabe is scared of doctors!  The Sweathogs are concerned enough to show up at Gabe’s apartment.  Barbarino tries to take Gabe’s pulse.  When Gabe asks if Barbarino knows what he’s doing, Barbarino replies, “I know it like the back of my hand.”  Barbarino then gets distracted by the back of his hand.

Touched by the concern of his students, Gabe conquers his fear and sees the doctor.  Gabe discovers he is okay and everyone watching learns a lesson about getting a regular check-up.  It’s a pretty simple episode, one that is probably most interesting for having aired two days after the 1976 presidential election.  Kotter went to the doctor and Carter went to the White House but Mr. Woodman stayed right where he was.

Later, with the physical having been completed, Gabe tells Mr. Woodman, “You have to hear about my Uncle Kermit Kotter!”

“No, I don’t, Kotter!” Woodman replies.

Gabe says that his Uncle Kermit always used to walk by a bakery and he would see a woman hitting her son with a loaf of bread.  One day, Uncle Kermit walked by and the woman was hitting her son with a chocolate cake.  Gabe says that his Uncle Kermit asked why the woman was hitting her son with a chocolate cake and….

“And the woman says because it’s his birthday,” Woodman replies, “I already heard it, Kotter.”

Seriously, John Sylvester White was a national treasure.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.1 and 2.2 Marooned / The Search / Issac’s Holiday: Parts 1 & 2


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the second season begins with a super-sized episode!

Episodes 2.1 & 2.2 “Marooned / The Search / Issac’s Holiday”

(Dir by Paul Stanley, originally aired on September 16th, 1978)

The second season of The Love Boat started with double-sized episode, promising twice the romance, twice the comedy, and twice the running time!

(Subsequently, this episode was split in two for syndication, hence the double numbering.)

Among the passengers on this cruise is none other than Isaac Washington (Ted Lange)!  The Love Boat’s iconic bartender has decided to spend his vacation where he works and he’s bought a ticket to sail on the Pacific Princess.  It might seem strange to want to spend your vacation at the office but in Isaac’s case, I can see the appeal.  As we saw during the first season, no one works harder than Isaac.  He somehow always manages to be behind every single bar on the ship and it often appears that he’s the only bartender on the boat!  To top it off, he’s always on call.  He’s earned a vacation and he’s earned the right to be served for once.  From the minute Isaac boards the boat, he’s playfully asking the crew to do things for him and none of them mind because he’s their friend Isaac.  One of the key reasons why The Love Boat worked was that the friendships between the members of the crew felt very real.  As such, there’s never any doubt that Isaac would want to spend his vacation with Gopher, Doc, and Julie.

(Interestingly enough, the Captain doesn’t seem to realize that Isaac’s on the boat until Isaac takes his seat at the captain’s table.)

Of course, there are some problems with Isaac’s vacation.  Isaac quickly notices that the substitute bartender, Wally (played by Norm Crosby), is a bit sullen and not very knowledgeable about his drinks.  As well, Isaac has lied to a passenger named Mara (Lola Falana), telling her that he’s a wealthy race car driver.  Bitter old Wally just can’t wait to tell Mara the truth.

Even worse, when Captain Stubing goes to visit a nearby island, Deputy Captain Cunningham (Dick Martin) is left in charge and he quickly proves himself to be thoroughly incompetent.  (The show makes a point of assuring viewers that Cunningham actually works for a different cruise line and is just training on the Pacific Princess.)  Cunningham ignores the news that a hurricane is on the way.  When the hurricane hits, it’s falls on Isaac to take charge and make sure the passengers are safe.  Of course, to do this, he has to admit that he’s not a race car driver.  He’s just a bartender who, in a just world, would probably be a captain.

Meanwhile, Stubing, Doc, Gopher, Julie, and a group of passengers (Avery Schreiber, Barbi Benton, Edie Adams, and Audra Lindley) are all being held captive on that nearby island.  Their captor is an eccentric hermit named David Crothers (played by John Astin, who was often cast as eccentric hermits).  David has a gun, one that later turns out to be full of not bullets but dirt.  Unfortunately, the hurricane that threatens the Pacific Princess also maroons everyone else on the island and they have to wait for someone to rescue them.  Injured by a falling tree, Gopher spends his time deliriously speaking to imaginary women in foreign accents.  Doc, for once, actually gets to do some medical stuff and assures everyone that Gopher will be fine.  Interestingly enough, no one seems to be that worried about being captured by a crazed hermit.  Perhaps that’s because John Astin is just too naturally friendly to be viewed as a threat.

Finally, Jeannie Carter (Donna Mills) is on the boat because she’s been told that one of the passengers is her long-lost mother.  Soap opera actor Mike Adler (David Birney) offers Jeannie the moral and emotional (and romantic) support to confront the woman but the woman (Laraine Day) turns out to be Mike’s mother as well!  Agck!

The 2nd season premiers, with its mix of melodrama, broad comedy, romance, and hurricane-strength winds, is pretty much exactly what most viewers would want out of a show like The Love Boat.  Isaac gets to save the day while John Astin hams it up and David Birney, Donna Milles, and Laraine Day wring every emotion that they can out of their soap opera-style storyline.  It’s a fun and undemanding show, one that gets by on its breezy style and the likable chemistry between the cast.

This episode is also important because it was the second episode (after the first season’s supersized episode) in which the opening credits featured video images of the guest stars as well as their names.  This would continue in every subsequent episode and eventually become of the show’s trademarks.

Next week: Julie’s parents board the boat!