Filmed in 1957 for a television program called Westinghouse Studio One, The Night America Trembled is a dramatization of the night in 1938 when Orson Welles’s adaptation of H.G. Wells’s The War of the Worlds reportedly caused a panic amongst listeners.
For legal reasons, Orson Welles is not portrayed nor is his name mentioned. Instead, the focus is mostly on the people listening to the broadcast and getting the wrong idea. That may sound like a comedy but The Night America Trembled takes itself fairly seriously, complete with Edward R. Murrow narrating and taking drags off of a cigarette.
Clocking in at a brisk 60 minutes, The Night America Trembled is an interesting recreation of that October 30th. Among the people panicking are a large collection of future stars and character actors. Ed Asner, James Coburn, John Astin, Warren Oates, and Warren Beatty all make early appearances.
It’s an interesting historical document and you can watch it below!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, the Sweathogs meet John Astin and Gabe goes to the doctor!
Episode 2.5 “The Museum”
(Dir by Bill Davis, originally aired on October 28th, 1976)
Mr. Woodman steps out of his office, just to find Gabe waiting for him.
“Mr. Woodman,” Gabe says, “did I ever tell you about the black sheep of my family?”
“I thought that was you,” Woodman replies.
Wow! Woodman has clearly already won this exchange but Gabe still proceeds to tell Mr. Woodman about his Uncle Lefty Kotter, who was a gambler. Mr. Woodman dramatically sighs and walks out of the office. See, Gabe, not everyone’s as patient as Julie.
After the opening credits, we find Gabe and Julie preparing the Sweathogs for a field trip to the Museum of Natural History. Barbarino is super excited because he’s never been to a real museum before. He explains that he did go to a wax museum once. “I saw Raquel Welch,” Barbarino explains, “Did you know that wax come right off in your hands?”
When Mr. Woodman comes out of his office to complain about the Sweathogs being taken off campus, Epstein explains that they’ve decide to take Woodman to the museum with them. Freddie announces that Woodman is going to be his field trip buddy. Personally, I think it would be fun to go on a field trip with Mr. Woodman because Mr. Woodman is clearly insane.
When the Sweathogs reach the museum, it actually looks a lot like one of those “horror dungeon museums” that always seem to pop up around Halloween.
Arnold is frightened of the museum and tosses a bunch of salt over his shoulder and into Epstein’s eyes. (Yes, Arnold is carrying a salt shaker with him.) Gabe asks the museum curator, Mr. Gore (John Astin), to assure Arnold that there is no reason to be scared. Mr. Gore explains that his name is pronounced “Gor-ay,” and then says that there are powers in the world about which one should not joke. “There are forces here,” Gore explains, “that do not appreciate one-liners!” Uh-oh, Gabe’s in trouble!
Barbarino and Freddie are also in trouble because they’ve entered an exclusive room that is home to an Egyptian mummy!
“This room is for VIPs only!” Mr. Gore declares.
“I am a VIP,” Barbarino protests. “I’m a Very Italian Person.”
Mr. Gore agrees to show the Sweathogs the Egyptian room on the condition that they touch nothing. “Or else you’ll risk the wrath of the pharohs!” Julie proceeds to say that the mummy doesn’t look a day over 2500 years old. Gabe jokes about the Mummy being named Pew. Mr. Gore, having grown annoyed, dares Gabe to open a cursed sarcophogus and risk the Mummy coming back to life. Gabe opens it, just to have Horshack step out of it.
“Hello,” Horshack says, “how are ya?”
Gore faints. Woodman announces that it’s time for the Sweathogs to return to the school. One problem, the door to the Egyptian room has slammed shut and cannot be opened. “Its the Curse of Pew!” a delirious Gore says.
Gabe explains that they’ll probably be trapped in the room until the next morning and then proceeds to give a mock eulogy for Pew The Mummy.
“We’re doomed!” Woodman shouts, “All doomed!”
Mr. Gore finally wakes up and says that he’s sure the curator will come to their rescue.
“Mr. Gor-ay,” Gabe says, “You’re the curator”
“How unfortunate,” Gore replies.
With everyone trapped in the Egyptian Room together, Horshack worries that he’ll never get a chance to meet Marie Osmond. When Gabe notices that there’s an air duct that someone could crawl through to get help, Horshack volunteers. Unfortunately, it turns out that the air duct just circles around the room so Horshack returns and continues to think about becoming an Osmond.
“I may be dying,” Woodman yells, “But I’m taking you Sweathogs with me! The mummy is going to get us if we don’t get out!”
Mr. Gore suggests that the Mummy might be satisfied with a human sacrifice. Woodman calls for Horshack to come over.
Fortunately, Epstein says that he’s seen enough home repair shows to know how to find “the stress part” of the door and open it. He taps on the door and …. it opens! The audience goes wild, even if it does seem like kind of an anticlimactic way to end the episode. But at least Epstein got to be the hero for once.
This episode was cartoonish, even by the standards of Welcome Back Kotter, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that this episode aired three days before Halloween. This was a holiday episode and I imagine it was a lot of fun when viewed on a dark and stormy night in 1976.
Episode 2.6 “Gabe Under Pressure”
(Dir by Jay Sandrich, originally aired on November 4th, 1976)
Julie brings Gabe his lunch.
“Did I ever tell you about my uncle who thought he was a horse?” Gabe asks. He proceeds to tell her about him. Julie smiles tolerantly.
As for the main storyline, the free clinic (where Julie volunteers) is offering free physicals at Buchanan High. Gabe expects the Sweathogs to take advantage of the offer but he himself refuses to go to the doctor to find out why he has a pain in his chest. It turns out that Gabe is scared of doctors! The Sweathogs are concerned enough to show up at Gabe’s apartment. Barbarino tries to take Gabe’s pulse. When Gabe asks if Barbarino knows what he’s doing, Barbarino replies, “I know it like the back of my hand.” Barbarino then gets distracted by the back of his hand.
Touched by the concern of his students, Gabe conquers his fear and sees the doctor. Gabe discovers he is okay and everyone watching learns a lesson about getting a regular check-up. It’s a pretty simple episode, one that is probably most interesting for having aired two days after the 1976 presidential election. Kotter went to the doctor and Carter went to the White House but Mr. Woodman stayed right where he was.
Later, with the physical having been completed, Gabe tells Mr. Woodman, “You have to hear about my Uncle Kermit Kotter!”
“No, I don’t, Kotter!” Woodman replies.
Gabe says that his Uncle Kermit always used to walk by a bakery and he would see a woman hitting her son with a loaf of bread. One day, Uncle Kermit walked by and the woman was hitting her son with a chocolate cake. Gabe says that his Uncle Kermit asked why the woman was hitting her son with a chocolate cake and….
“And the woman says because it’s his birthday,” Woodman replies, “I already heard it, Kotter.”
Seriously, John Sylvester White was a national treasure.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, the second season begins with a super-sized episode!
(Dir by Paul Stanley, originally aired on September 16th, 1978)
The second season of The Love Boat started with double-sized episode, promising twice the romance, twice the comedy, and twice the running time!
(Subsequently, this episode was split in two for syndication, hence the double numbering.)
Among the passengers on this cruise is none other than Isaac Washington (Ted Lange)! The Love Boat’s iconic bartender has decided to spend his vacation where he works and he’s bought a ticket to sail on the Pacific Princess. It might seem strange to want to spend your vacation at the office but in Isaac’s case, I can see the appeal. As we saw during the first season, no one works harder than Isaac. He somehow always manages to be behind every single bar on the ship and it often appears that he’s the only bartender on the boat! To top it off, he’s always on call. He’s earned a vacation and he’s earned the right to be served for once. From the minute Isaac boards the boat, he’s playfully asking the crew to do things for him and none of them mind because he’s their friend Isaac. One of the key reasons why The Love Boat worked was that the friendships between the members of the crew felt very real. As such, there’s never any doubt that Isaac would want to spend his vacation with Gopher, Doc, and Julie.
(Interestingly enough, the Captain doesn’t seem to realize that Isaac’s on the boat until Isaac takes his seat at the captain’s table.)
Of course, there are some problems with Isaac’s vacation. Isaac quickly notices that the substitute bartender, Wally (played by Norm Crosby), is a bit sullen and not very knowledgeable about his drinks. As well, Isaac has lied to a passenger named Mara (Lola Falana), telling her that he’s a wealthy race car driver. Bitter old Wally just can’t wait to tell Mara the truth.
Even worse, when Captain Stubing goes to visit a nearby island, Deputy Captain Cunningham (Dick Martin) is left in charge and he quickly proves himself to be thoroughly incompetent. (The show makes a point of assuring viewers that Cunningham actually works for a different cruise line and is just training on the Pacific Princess.) Cunningham ignores the news that a hurricane is on the way. When the hurricane hits, it’s falls on Isaac to take charge and make sure the passengers are safe. Of course, to do this, he has to admit that he’s not a race car driver. He’s just a bartender who, in a just world, would probably be a captain.
Meanwhile, Stubing, Doc, Gopher, Julie, and a group of passengers (Avery Schreiber, Barbi Benton, Edie Adams, and Audra Lindley) are all being held captive on that nearby island. Their captor is an eccentric hermit named David Crothers (played by John Astin, who was often cast as eccentric hermits). David has a gun, one that later turns out to be full of not bullets but dirt. Unfortunately, the hurricane that threatens the Pacific Princess also maroons everyone else on the island and they have to wait for someone to rescue them. Injured by a falling tree, Gopher spends his time deliriously speaking to imaginary women in foreign accents. Doc, for once, actually gets to do some medical stuff and assures everyone that Gopher will be fine. Interestingly enough, no one seems to be that worried about being captured by a crazed hermit. Perhaps that’s because John Astin is just too naturally friendly to be viewed as a threat.
Finally, Jeannie Carter (Donna Mills) is on the boat because she’s been told that one of the passengers is her long-lost mother. Soap opera actor Mike Adler (David Birney) offers Jeannie the moral and emotional (and romantic) support to confront the woman but the woman (Laraine Day) turns out to be Mike’s mother as well! Agck!
The 2nd season premiers, with its mix of melodrama, broad comedy, romance, and hurricane-strength winds, is pretty much exactly what most viewers would want out of a show like The Love Boat. Isaac gets to save the day while John Astin hams it up and David Birney, Donna Milles, and Laraine Day wring every emotion that they can out of their soap opera-style storyline. It’s a fun and undemanding show, one that gets by on its breezy style and the likable chemistry between the cast.
This episode is also important because it was the second episode (after the first season’s supersized episode) in which the opening credits featured video images of the guest stars as well as their names. This would continue in every subsequent episode and eventually become of the show’s trademarks.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week …. Tattoo gets a trumpet!
Episode 2.3 “The Beachcomber/The Last Whodunit”
(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on September 30th, 1978)
Tattoo is learning how to play the trumpet and Mr. Roarke can barely hide his anger. That is this week’s Tattoo/Roarke storyline and it rasies a lot of questions about Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship. Is Roarke upset because Tattoo is a bad trumpet player or does he just dislike Tattoo in general? Does Tattoo really care about learning how to play the trumpet or is he just looking for an excuse to annoy Mr. Roarke? I think all of those possibilities may be true at the same time. If the previous two episodes hinted that Roarke and Tattoo no longer hated each other, this episode seems to confirm that they’re still the frenemies that they’ve always been. I sympathize with Roarke but it’s hard not to appreciate Tattoo’s determination to be an agent of chaos.
As for the fantasies, Charles Preston (John Astin) is a successful businessman who wants to throw it all ways so that he can spend the rest of his life as a beach bum. Roarke sets Preston up in a cabin on one of the shabbiest beaches on Fantasy Island. Seriously, the layout of Fantasy Island is just weird. A third of the island is a luxury resort. A third of the island is a magical jungle. And a third of the island is apparently just a collection of poverty-stricken fishing villages. Do the people who live on the island know that they could be having a fantasy if they only had the money? Let’s hope none of them ever pick up a copy of Marx or Piketty.
Anyway, Preston soon discovers that the life of a beach bum is not as easy as he thought it would be. For one thing, the chief of the island’s indigenous population demands that Preston marry his daughter. (The joke is that his daughter is overweight and …. well, it’s all pretty cringey by 2022 standards.) Meanwhile, a bounty hunter slaps some handcuffs on Preston and threatens to take him back to his family unless Preston pays him $70,000. “All of you beachcombers have a stash!” the bounty hunter hisses. Fortunately, Preston’s wife shows up and announces that she’s fine with him being a beach bum, as long as he’s a responsible beach bum who helps to pay the bills. And that’s the end of that. What an underwhelming fantasy.
Luckily, the episode’s other fantasy is a bit more entertaining. Mabel Jarvis (Celeste Holm) loves mystery stories and she wants to spend a weekend as her favorite fictional detective. Of course, Mabel soon finds herself investigating the real-life murder of Mabel’s favorite writer. Mr. Roarke explains that the writer was a friend of his and that he hoped Mabel could solve the case. That seems like a lot of responsibility to put on someone who is just looking for a vacation but, fortunately, Mabel proves to be up to the job. Anyway, this was a fun little fantasy and, as an avid reader of mysteries, it was one to which I could relate. Celeste Holm seemed to be having a lot of fun as Mabel and, even more importantly, her cat played a key role in solving the mystery.
This was not a bad episode. The beach stuff was forgettable but the episode was saved Celeste Holm and Tattoo’s trumpet.
On tonight’s episode of Circle of Fear, John Astin plays a former actor who now makes a meager living as a security guard at the studio where he once worked. Unfortunately, the studio is shutting down. John Astin will be out of a job but, as he discovers one night, he’s not the only one who fears being forgotten. This is the type of story that could only have been told in the days before physical media, streaming sites, and cable.
Patty Duke, who was married to Astin at the time, plays his character’s wife. Playing their baby is John and Patty’s newborn, future actor MacKenzie Astin. William Castle, who served as executive producer of Circle of Fear, appears as the head of the studio.
This episode originally aired on February 16th, 1973.
Music promoter M. Harry Smilac (Dirk Benedict) used to be a big deal in Los Angeles but lately, his ability to create stars appears to have left him. He still has his Porsche and his car phone but he is also several thousand dollars in debt and he only has one client, a garage hair band called Kick. No one wants to book Kick because no one wants to work with a known screw-up like Harry.
Desperate for money, Harry agrees to serve as the entertainment chairman for a stuffy candidate for governor. It’s while looking for potential acts to headline a fundraiser that Harry meets Quick Rick Roberts (Roddy Piper). When Harry sees Rick getting ripped off by a promoter, Harry assumes that Rick is a musical act and quickly offers to be Rick’s agent. It’s only after Rick has agreed that Harry discovers that Rick doesn’t play an instrument and can’t sing a note. Instead, Rick is a professional wrestler and, by singing him, Harry has now made an enemy of Rick’s former manager, Captain Lou Munaro (played by, you guessed it, Captain Lou Albano).
Now, Harry has to find a way to pay his creditors, make stars out of both Kick and Rick, and win the hand of Candace VanVargen (Tanya Roberts), the daughter of a wealthy political benefactor. What if there was some way to combine rock and roll with wrestling?
Dirk Benedict, Tanya Roberts, Roddy Pipper, and Captain Lou Albana, all appearing in a movie directed by Hal Needham? Body Slam is one of the most 80s films ever made. It’s not really a bad film. In typical Needham fashion, it’s a loose mix of broad comedy and scenes designed to appeal to teenage boys and their fathers. There’s a lot wrestling. There’s a lot of spandex. The movie opens with Harry ogling a woman in a bikini. Body Slam knew who its audience would be. Dirk Benedict gives a surprisingly nimble comedic performance and even Tanya Roberts has some deliberately funny moments. Roddy Piper is likable as the steady and fair-minded Rick. There’s nothing subtle about Captain Lou Albano’s performance but what else would you expect from a man wearing that many rubber bands? As was typical of Needham’s films, some of the director’s friends show up in cameos. John Astin plays a car salesman. Charles Nelson Reilly plays a talk show host. Billy Barty gets into an argument with Captain Lou. Burt Reynolds is nowhere to be seen.
Unfortunately, not many people got to see Body Slam when it was originally released. Body Slam was going to be Hal Needham’s big comeback film after the disappointing Megaforce but the film’s producers didn’t care much for the changes that Needham made to their script and they sued to keep the film from being released. As a result, the film never got a theatrical release and it was instead sent straight to VHS, with very little fanfare. It has since developed a cult following amongst old school wrestling fans.
Body Slam is a typically amiable Hal Needham film. It’s nothing special but it’s enjoyable if you’re in the mood for it.
The fifth episode of Night Gallery originally aired on January 13th, 1971. It featured three stories, each one of which was introduced by Rod Serling walking through a darkened museum.
Pamela’s Voice (dir by Richard Benedict, written by Rod Serling)
Jonathan (John Astin) kills his wife, Pamela (Phyllis Diller), because he’s sick of listening to her shrill voice. However, it turns out that not even death can stop Pamela. While Jonathan is staring at a coffin, he starts to hear Pamela’s voice.
At first, you might think that this is going to be one of those stories where it’s going to turn out that the murderer has been driven made by his crimes and he’s imagining being taunted by his victim. But then Pamela makes an post-death appearance herself and the story reveals it’s final twist.
For the most part, Pamela’s Voice is entertaining. Both John Astin and Phyllis Diller give such eccentric performances that their fun to watch even if the majority of the audience will be able to guess this segment’s big twist.
Lone Survivor (dir by Gene Levitt, written by Rod Serling)
This wonderfully atmospheric story opens in 1915, with the crew of the Lusitania discovering a man (John Colicos) floating in a lifeboat. The lifeboat is from the Titanic and the man, who claims to be a crewmember of that doomed ship, is wearing a dress, leading the ship’s doctor to assume that the man survived the sinking of the Titanic by pretending to be a woman and stealing someone else’s rightful spot in the lifeboat.
At first, his rescuers are skeptical. If the man was indeed a survivor of the Titanic, that would mean that he had spent the past three years floating in that lifeboat? How could the man have survived? And, assuming that he is telling the truth about the ship that he came from, what has now brought him to the Lusitania? Could the man possibly be a German spy? After all, World War I has just broken out and the sea is no longer as safe as it once was….
Lone Survivor is an example of this often uneven show at its best. It’s a genuinely creepy short film, one that ends on a frightening and rather sad note. Lone Survivor is the tale of man trying to escape both his own guilt and the whims of fate and discovering that neither can be easily conquered. In the main role, John Colicos gives a wonderfully intense and haunted performance.
The Doll (dir by Rudi Dorn, written by Rod Serling)
“Our painting is called The Doll,” Rod Serling says as he introduces this one, “and it’s one that you better not play with.” Truer words were never spoken!
In this one, British Col. Hymber Masters (John Williams) returns home from India and discovers that his niece (Jewel Branch) has a new doll. Someone mailed the doll to her. Everyone assumed that Col. Masters sent the doll but he actually had nothing to do with it. Masters is not happy to see his niece carrying around that doll and it makes sense when you consider just how ugly the doll is. I mean, this is one creepy doll!
It turns out that the Masters was correct to be concerned because the doll was sent by Pandit Chola (Henry Silva), who holds Masters responsible for the death of his brother. The doll has been sent to take revenge….
The Doll is another triumph, largely because the doll itself is so creepy that it looks like something that sprung straight out of a nightmare. John Williams does a good job playing the well-meaning if somewhat stuffy colonel and Henry Silva is well-cast as the villain of the piece. This segment deserves a lot of credit for taking a fanciful story and playing it totally straight.
The fifth episode of Night Gallery is a triumph. After a run of uneven episodes, this episode is consistently creepy and entertaining. For this episode, at least, Night Gallery lived up to its potential.
The third episode of Night Gallery aired on December 30th, 1970. While Americans were undoubtedly finalizing their plans for a wild New Year’s Eve (because, after all, Nixon was president and every day was a party), NBC and Rod Serling invited viewers to take a tour through a darkened museum, one where every painting told a story.
This episode of Night Gallery featured two stories:
The House (dir by John Astin, written by Rod Serling)
The House opens with Elaine Latimer (Joanna Pettet) talking about a recurring dream. She’s driving her car through the countryside when she comes across a large house. Though she’s never seen the house, she finds herself drawn to it, as if she somehow belongs in the house. As Elaine describes her dream, we come to realize that she’s talking to a psychiatrist (Steve Franken) and that Elaine is recovering from mental breakdown. Her doctor tells Elaine that the dream is nothing to worry about.
However, when Elaine is driving home, she realizes that the countryside looks familiar. Soon, she’s pulling up in front of the house from her dreams! When Elaine gets out of the car, she’s greeted by a real estate named Peugeot (Paul Richards) who asks her if she’s interested in buying the house. As Peugeot gives her a tour of the estate, he mentions that the house is thought to be haunted….
I liked The House. It was an atmospheric little tale and, from the minute that Elaine started talking about her dream, the story captured my attention. (I should admit that I also have recurring dreams about a house that I’ve never actually seen before.) Admittedly, the story does play out at a very deliberate pace and requires a bit of patience but the dream sequences are effectively surreal and Joanna Pettet gives an empathetic performance in the lead role.
Certain Shadows On The Wall (dir by Corey Allen, written by Rod Serling)
This segment features Agnes Moorehead as the sickly Emma, who is poisoned by her own brother, the despicable Stephen (Louis Hayward). After Emma’s death, Stephen is shocked to discover that, even though Emma is gone, her shadow remains on the wall. While Stephen is trying to make sense of that, his other two sisters (played by Grayson Hall and Rachel Roberts) have plans of their own for how to deal with their duplicitous brother.
Like The House, Certain Shadows On The Wall is appropriately atmospheric. The ending is a bit weak as Stephen gets what he deserves but the shadow itself doesn’t have much to do with his actual fate. Just when you’re waiting for Agnes Moorehead to make a sudden, ghostly appearance, the story comes to an end. Still, this is an effective segment and it features excellent work from its ensemble. I especially liked the performance of Grayson Hall, which features one of the most frightening glares that I’ve ever seen.
The third episode of Night Gallery was a definite improvement over the two that came before it. Both segments tell intriguing stories, though it’s obvious that the show was still better at coming up with good premises than effective endings.
Today is the 79th anniversary of Orson Welles’s infamous War of the Worlds broadcast.
In 1938, Orson Welles and the Mercury Theater of the Air performed a radio adaptation of H.G. Welles’s War of the World. Presented as a live news program, it was one of the first mockumentaries. It also caused a panic. How big the panic was is open for debate. Some say only a few people took it seriously. Other sources say that it was a nationwide crisis. But, regardless, Welles made history on that night. Not only did he illustrate the power of the media but he also scared the Hell out of a lot of people. All in all, a pretty good night…
Filmed in 1957 for a television program called Westinghouse Studio One, The Night America Trembled is a dramatization of that night. For legal reasons, Orson Welles is not portrayed nor is his name mentioned. Instead, the focus is mostly on the people listening to the broadcast and getting the wrong idea. That may sound like a comedy but The Night America Trembled takes itself fairly seriously. Even pompous old Edward R. Murrow shows up to narrate the film, in between taking drags off a cigarette. (I enjoyed the show but, whenever Murrow showed up, I was reminded of a grumpy old teacher complaining that none of his students cared about the Spanish-American War.)
Clocking in at a brisk 60 minutes, The Night America Trembled is an interesting recreation of that October 30th. Among the people panicking: a group of people in a bar who, before hearing the broadcast, were debating whether or not Hitler was as crazy as people said he was, a babysitter who goes absolutely crazy with fear, and a group of poker-playing college students. If, like me, you’re a frequent viewer of TCM, you may recognize some of the faces in the large cast: Ed Asner, James Coburn, John Astin, Warren Oates, and Warren Beatty all make early appearances.
As I said, it’s an interesting little historical document and you can watch it below!
Nearly two weeks ago, I started on something that I call Embracing the Melodrama, Part II. For the next month or so, I will be reviewing, in chronological order, 126 examples of cinematic melodrama. I started things off by reviewing the 1927 classic Sunriseand now, 24 reviews later, we’re ready to start in on one of my favorite decades, the 1960s!
And what better way to start the 60s than be taking a look at the 1961 best picture winner, West Side Story?
Being a lifelong dancer, I have to admit that I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen West Side Story. If you love to dance, this is one of those films that you simply have to see. Of the various musicals that have won best picture, West Side Story is arguably the best. Based on a hit Broadway show (which was itself rather famously based on William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet), West Side Story was co-directed by the great choreographer Jerome Robbins and it features some of the greatest dance numbers ever filmed. If you don’t get excited while watching the Sharks and the Shark Girls arguing about America, then there’s really no hope for you. Tonight Quintet, Somewhere, A Boy Like That, Maria … even Gee, Officer Krupke, has there ever been another musical score that just leaves you wanting to sing as much as West Side Story does?
(I mean, I’ll be the first admit that I absolutely love the theme song from Santa Claus Conquers The Martians but it can’t even compare to West Side Story!)
What’s funny is that, in between viewings of the film, I always seem to forget just how good West Side Story actually is. (Fortunately, this also means that I’m pleasantly surprised every time I watch the movie.) In theory, this is an easy film to joke about. It tells the story of street gangs who are apparently just as good at dancing as they are at fighting. The all-white Jets snap their fingers and tell us that when you’re a jet, you’re the best. The Puerto Rican Sharks are moving in on the Jets’s territory. The two leaders of the gangs — Riff (Russ Tamblyn) and Bernardo (George Chakiris) — want to settle thing with a “rumble.” And it’s easy for contemporary audiences to laugh because “rumble” is such an old-fashioned way of saying things that it’s now one of those terms that’s only used when one is trying to be ironic or snarky.
(For instance, I was with some friends at the movies and the people sitting behind us kept talking. One of my friends told them to shut up. One of the loud people replied that we were the ones who need to shut up. As the insults escalated, I finally said, “Y’all — do we really have to have a rumble right now?” Unfortunately, everyone was too busy arguing to appreciate my pitch perfect delivery.)
Riff’s best friend is Tony (Richard Beymer). Tony was a co-founder of the Jets but now, he wants to move on from the gang. He meets a girl named Maria (Natalie Wood) and the two of them fall in love. However, Maria is Bernardo’s younger sister. Her best friend, Anita (Rita Moreno), is Bernardo’s girlfriend. Loving Tony, in other words, is prohibido.
And, since West Side Story is based on Romeo and Juliet, you can probably guess to what type of tragedy all of this leads.
Now, before I heap too much praise of West Side Story, I do need to admit that, in the role of Tony, Richard Beymer does not exactly radiate charisma. He’s handsome enough but you never quite buy that he was former member of the Jets. Since Tony’s singing voice was dubbed by Jimmy Bryant, you do believe everything that he sings. But otherwise, Richard Beymer comes across as being stiff and rather awkward.
And it doesn’t help, of course, that he’s acting opposite Russ Tamblyn who, in the role of Riff, is a whirlwind of unstoppable energy. Tamblyn is the one who you remember at the end of the film, followed by George Chakiris. Compared to those two, Richard Beymer’s performance is just dull.
Fortunately, there’s Maria (played by Natalie Wood with Marni Nixon doing the singing). Natalie Wood is one of my favorite of the classic Hollywood actresses. She’s certainly one of the actresses with whom I most idenitfy. With Richard Beymer sleepwalking through the role of Tony, it falls on Natalie to provide some true emotion to the film’s love story and that’s exactly what she does. Every time I see West Side Story, I want to be Natalie Wood and I want to have a best friend like Rita Moreno and I want to meet someone like Riff…
Sorry, Tony.
West Side Story is one of the best musicals ever made. If you’re not dancing and then crying and then dancing while crying as you watch West Side Story, then you’re doing it wrong.
Through the Shattered Lens 