The Prize Winner”

Posted on March 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 7.12 “Dee Dee’s Dilemma/Julie’s Blind Date/The Prize Winner”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 3rd, 1983)

A detective (Don Gordon) tells Isaac and Gopher that he suspects a woman named Doris will be boarding the boat. She’s supposed to testify in a high-profile divorce case and she’s been dodging the process servers. The detective mentions that there’s a reward for turning Doris in. That definitely get Gopher and Isaac’s attention.

And Doris (Markie Post) is on the boat! Except she is pretending to be a teenager named Dee Dee and she’s speaking in an annoying squeaky voice. Jerry Howard (Clark Brandon) meets Dee Dee and develops a crush on her. Meanwhile, Jerry’s father, Phil (Geoffrey Scott), meets Doris and develops a crush of his own! In the end, Doris falls in love with Phil and Jerry …. well, Jerry gets his heart broken but he claims not to care. Phil is amused. As for the divorce case, it’s settled so Doris doesn’t have to testify after all!

(And no, there’s no reward for Isaac and Gopher. In fact, Stubing threatens to fire them.)

While that’s going on, author Daniel Baker (Tom Poston) wants to enjoy a romantic cruise with his wife (Abby Dalton) but he’s being blackmailed by his assistant, Wendy (Leslie Easterbrook). Wendy knows that Daniel plagiarized sections of his book and she threatens to reveal the truth unless Daniel has an affair with her. This is one of those storylines that would have worked better if some different casting choices had been made. As it is, noted sex symbol Tom Poston feels miscast.

Finally, Julie has a blind date boarding the boat. He turns out to be a nerdy, overweight guy named Leonard Gluck (Walter Olkewicz). Julie has nothing in common with Leonard and is planning on dumping him. But then Leonard dumps her first and Julie has a crisis of confidence. This story had the potential to reveal a new side of Julie but, in the end, Leonard revealed that he only dumped Julie to make her like him and Julie’s confidence was restored, along with her rule about not dating fat guys.

This was not a great cruise. It took me two minutes to get sick of Dee Dee’s voice. Oh well — not every trip can be a winner!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.18 “Caretakers”

Posted on March 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicycle cops go after pharmaceutical smugglers.

Episode 3.18 “Caretakers”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on March 8th, 1998)

This week, a drug company is smuggling and distributing black market pharmaceuticals. Leslie Jordan plays Bo, the crazy man who lives in a storage unit and who has figured out what the company is doing. When he gets shot in the back, Chris feels guilty because she refused to listen to his ramblings earlier. After undergoing hypnosis to search for clues as to who shot Bo, Chris goes undercover as a potential drug buyer. It always amuses me whenever any member of the bike patrol goes undercover. None of them are capable of not coming across as being a cop and that’s especially true in Chris’s case. Everything from the way they talk to the way they glare at everyone to the way they stand just a little bit too rigidly screams, “Cop!” And yet the criminals never seem to catch on.

Meanwhile, Victor’s mother is deathly ill and needs some drugs to save her life. Luckily, the local priest has connections. But can Victor set aside whatever his issue is with the church? Does anyone care? I mean, I’m glad that Victor’s mom is alive at the end of the episode but Victor isn’t that interesting of a character.

We are three season into Pacific Blue and none of the characters are really interesting enough to carry the show. Even the lifeguards on Baywatch had more personality than the members of the bike patrol. The main thing that I’ll remember about this episode is that, even when they were keeping an eye on Chris working undercover, the cops all brought their bicycles.

The important thing is that Leslie Jordan survives his injuries. At the end of the episode, TC locks Chris in the Bo’s storage unit so that she’ll be forced to listen to his conspiracy theories. I guess TC’s okay with not getting any for a month.

I’d like this show better if the rode motorcycles.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 1.8 “Belding’s Baby”

Posted on March 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.

This week’s episode is so annoying.

Episode 1.8 “Belding’s Baby”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 30th, 1993)

Ugh, this episode.

First off, I totally forgot that Mr. and Mrs. Belding named their son after Zack Morris. They did this because, during the original series, Zack helped deliver his namesake when he and Mrs. Belding ended up trapped in an elevator. While that was nice of Zack to do, I still have to wonder at the logic of naming your son after an unrepentant sociopath.

Anyway, Mr. Belding needs help looking after baby Zack. Scott volunteers to babysit him in order to get out of detention. Scott and the gang take baby Zack to the movies. Scott meets a girl named Ashley (Katy Barnhill), whose mother is a baby photographer who is seeking models. So, Scott pretends to be Zack Belding’s older brother and he and his friends try to get Baby Zack to the studio without Mr. Belding figuring things out. But when Belding takes his son to the Maxx, Weasel and Vicki have to dress up as Mr. Belding’s parents and….

Ugh, this is stupid.

It’s not even stupid in an amusing way. Scott lies about being Zack’s brother. There was absolutely no reason for Scott to lie. Ashley liked Scott from the start so Scott could have just said he was babysitting. For that matter, Mr. Belding could have hired a babysitter instead of entrusting his baby to the least responsible students in the entire school. This whole thing could have been straightened out by everyone not being an idiot. That’s not funny. It’s just annoying.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Also, we are eight episodes and Tommy D is still saying things to Scott like, “I’m impressed, kid,” as if he hasn’t known Scott for half of the school year already. And why does it matter if Tommy’s impressed? Tommy doesn’t ever do anything. He’s not a schemer. He just stands around and smiles. I imagine everyone impresses Tommy.

Dumb, dumb episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.12 “Mitchell & Woods”

Posted on March 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week …. hey, what is this!?

Episode 5.12 “Mitchell & Woods”

(Dir by Bernard L. Kowalski, originally aired on December 18th, 1981)

Paula Woods (Jayne Kennedy) and Melanie Mitchell (Cindy Morgan) may have once just been two members of the highway patrol who were trained by Ponch but they’ve now been promoted to working as plainclothes detectives in Ocean City!

“Look out Ocean City!” Jon Baker says.

When an old high school friend of Michell’s is murdered, Mitchell and Woods uncover a male prostitution ring. Along with bringing the guilty to justice, they also help Chickee (Pamela Susan Shoop) find the courage to leave her abusive relationship….

No, there’s not much motorcycle action. No, there’s no slow motion car crashes. Yes, this is an episode of CHiPs. Well, kind of.

It’s actually a backdoor pilot for a show about Mitchell and Woods. Ponch and Baker show up at the start of the show to wish Mitchell and Woods luck. Ponch and Baker return halfway through the show so that Ponch can tell Mitchell and Woods about an informant named Avrom (Tony Burton). And, finally, Ponch and Baker return at the end of the episode and give our erstwhile detectives a parking ticket.

Backdoor pilots at the worst! You’re all prepared to spend 40 minutes with people you know and suddenly, a bunch of new folks show up and start demanding your attention. It doesn’t help that Mitchell & Woods is a terrible pilot and I’m not really surprised that it didn’t become an actual series. Can Mitchell and Woods prove that woman can be good detectives? Will they ever impress their new boss (Paul Gale)? I don’t really know the characters so I don’t care.

I swear, they could have at least brought back Caitlyn Jenner for this episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.18 “World of Trouble”

Posted on March 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Al Lombard retuns.

Episode 5.18 “World of Trouble”

(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on Jun 14th, 1989)

Way back in the first season, Dennis Farina appeared as an honorable gangster named Al Lombard who did not want his son, Sal, to follow him into the family business. During his first appearance, Lombard considered ratting out his associates in return for an immunity deal but, in the end, he refused. Al Lombard was old school. He was not a rat. That didn’t make much difference to his associates. The episode ended with an ambiguous freeze frame and gunshot that suggested they had executed him.

In this episode, it is revealed that Al Lombard faked his death and has spent the last few years in Europe. When a judge dismisses the years-old indictment against him, Al returns to Miami so he can visit his son, Sal (Timothy Patrick Quill). Despite the fact that Lombard went back on his promise to testify against his associates, Crockett and Tubbs are still happy to see him. Al is a likable guy!

Unfortunately, the whole thing is a set-up. Rival gangster Federico Librizzi (Ned Eisenberg) arranged for the indictment to be dismissed in order to lure Al back to Miami. Once in Miami, Al is upset to discover that Sal is now involved in the family business and that a gang war is about to break out over a new superweapon that Sal stole from the DEA. When Librizzi’s hitmen try to take out Al, they hit Sal instead.

Sal is dead and Al wants revenge. Al is smart enough to show up at a meeting between Librizzi and Burnett and Cooper (*sigh* the undercover thing again). Librizzi shoots Al, forcing Crockett and Tubbs to shoot Librizzi.

This was one of the fifth season episodes that did not originally air during the show’s network run. It was included in syndication as a “lost episode.” Dennis Farina gives a charismatic performance as Al Lombard but that’s about all this episode really has going for it. The other performances are nowhere close to being as good as Farina’s and the whole plot to bring Lombard back to Miami is ludicrously convoluted. Seriously, there aren’t mob hitmen in Europe?

Retro Television Reviews Will Return On March 23rd

Posted on March 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

With both 2026’s second Friday the 13th approaching and Oscar Sunday this weekend and then St. Patrick’s Day and Bruce Willis’s birthday coming up the week after, this is going to be a busy 14 days for me. I’ve got a lot of movies to watch and reviews to write so my Retro Television Reviews are going to take a break for the next two weeks. They will return on March 23rd, at which point I will hopefully be all caught up!

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.23 “Night of Fire”

Posted on March 5, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958. The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey investigates a case of arson!

Episode 1.23 “Night of Fire”

(Dir by Don Medford, originally aired on March 17th, 1957)

This is one of those episodes that ends with Casey speaking directly to the camera. She tells us that Michele (Betty Lou Holland) will be hitting the streets in search of a new job. If she comes in your office, Casey says, give her a chance.

It’s a nice sentiment, especially since the viewer has just spent 30 minutes watching a number of people wrongly accuse of Michele of having set a fire at a factory. Casey, working undercover as another secretary, knows that Michele has recently been released from a mental hospital and that she’s still haunted by a bad relationship that she had with an older man. But Casey also understands that evidence against Michele is circumstantial. Yes, Michele had some matches in desk. Yes, Michele had a can of turpentine in her desk. All the rest, though, is gossip.

And it does turn out that Michele is innocent. Co-worker Joe (Clifford David) has an alibi for the night of the fire. While the factory was burning, Joe was getting arrested for making a scene at the bar. When Casey learns that Joe is diabetic, she announces that diabetics can’t drink so Joe must have been faking being drunk to give himself an alibi. Joe confesses that he was hired by the owner of the factory to set the place on fire for the insurance money.

(And it’s a good thing that Joe confessed because I’m pretty sure Casey’s logic would not have held up in court.)

Problems with Casey’s logic aside, I did like this episode. Betty Lou Holland gave a very good performance as Michele, as did Betty Walker as Jenny, Michele’s main tormenter. Beverly Garland did a great job communicating Casey’s righteous fury over Jenny’s self-righteous attitude. Finally, after two stage-bound episodes, this story saw a return to the location shooting that makes Decoy such a fun show for history nerds like you and me. 1950s New York was apparently the best place in the world to go shopping with a suspect.

As this episode ended, I found myself hoping that someone did give Michele a shot.

She deserved it.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.6 “The Bulls Change Hands”

Posted on March 4, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This episode was confusing. Is syndication to blame?

Episode 3.6 “The Bulls Change Hands”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on September 9th, 1987)

Diana no longer owns the Bulls!

That was the main plot development to be found in this cluttered episode of 1st & Ten. As I’ve mentioned before, the episodes of 1st & Ten that are available on Tubi are the heavily edited versions that were sold into syndication as opposed to the original, R-rated versions that appeared on HBO. With quite a few of these episodes, it’s obvious that entire plotlines have been pretty much chopped out. That certainly feels like the case here because, despite having watched the episode, I’m still not totally sure how Diane lost the Bulls in the first place.

What I do know is that she threatened to expose Teddy’s insider trading. Teddy responded by leaving the country but, before he left, he gave his ownership shares to his daughter, Jill (Leah Ayres). Teddy explains that this makes Jill the owner of the Bulls. But my understanding was that Teddy only owned half the team so it seems like that would mean Jill and Diane would now be co-owners. Perhaps I missed something in an earlier episode or maybe some line of dialogue was cut out for syndication, I’m not sure. What I do know is that Jill now owns the Bulls. The first thing she does is break up with Yinessa because she can’t be both his boss and his girlfriend.

In her final locker room speech, Diane orders the Bulls to win because Diane is taking Jill to court and she wants the team to be in the playoffs once she returns as the owner. It’s not a bad speech but again, I thought Diane still owned at least half of the team.

Meanwhile, Yinessa is back as quarterback. And he leads the Bulls to their first victory of the season. His new wide receiver, Billy Cooper (Michael Toland) catches the game-winning pass. At the same time that Billy is scoring, some guy who we’ve never seen before is shooting at him from the roof of the stadium. The police arrest the guy and Billy later discovers a bullet lodged in his helmet.

Bubba’s sex therapist (Penny Johnson) is now obsessed with him, despite Bubba’s attempts to set her up with with Jethro. I have a feeling that the Jethro/Bubba storylines were the ones that really got left on the cutting room floor when it came to editing these episodes for syndication. Jethro and Bubba have been with the show since the beginning and they’ve got prominent billing in the opening credits but, when it comes to their roles in the episodes themselves, it seems like the only thing that happens is Bubba says that he needs to get laid and then the two of them disappear for several weeks. When they do finally reappear, Bubba is always in some sort of new trouble with his wife.

Speaking of marriage, in this episode, TD Parker finally confesses to his wife that he’s been having an affair.

TD apologizes. His wife tells him to get out. Agck! I can see where this storyline is heading but OJ Simpson fighting with his wife still lands differently in 2026 than it probably did in 1987.

This episode was a mess but I guess Jill is the owner of the Bulls now and Teddy’s fled to South America. Can’t the Bull just concentrate on playing football and earning their paycheck?

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.11 “The World’s Greatest Kisser/Don’t Take My Wife, Please/The Reluctant Father”

Posted on March 4, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Love wont hurt anymore….

Episode 7.11 “The World’s Greatest Kisser/Don’t Take My Wife, Please/The Reluctant Father”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on November 26th, 1983)

Sawdust Radell (Dan Haggerty) is looking for revenge. The woman he loved dumped him after having a romance with one of the officers on the Pacific Princess. She didn’t tell him the officer’s name but she did say that he was “the greatest kisser in the world.” Ol’ Sawdust boards the ship with his best friend, Bonnie Lee Boone (Elaine Joyce). He wants Bonnie Lee to kiss each of the ship’s officers and then report back on which one is the greatest kisser. What is Sawdust planning on doing? I have no idea but I have a feeling that Sawdust might have a prison stint in his future.

(That was certainly true for actor Dan Haggerty who, two years after this episode ended, was arrested for trying to sell cocaine to an undercover police officer.)

Bonnie Lee kisses the Captain, Doc, and Gopher. She causes a lot of jealousy amongst the crew but they’re not the only ones getting jealous. Sawdust realizes that he’s in love with Bonnie Lee. He also gets a cable from his ex, informing him of the name of the officer. It turns out that the “world’s greatest kisser” is some guy who we have never seen or heard of before and he has since transferred to a different ship. Well, that’s convenient.

Before leaving the ship, the Captain asks Bonnie who the best kisser amongst the remaining crew was. Wisely, Bonnie Lee looks over at Sawdust and says, “Him!”

(No, she did not kiss Isaac. Then again, Ted Lange was busy directing this episode so Isaac’s not really around that much.)

Young executive Matt Stevens (Parker Stevenson) is taking a business cruise. He boards with his new wife, Marion (Kirstie Alley). Uh-oh, it turns out that Matt’s boss, Arthur Boggs (David Doyle), gave strict orders that wives were not allowed on the cruise! As Arthur explains it, “If I let you bring your wife, then I have to bring my wife.” And it turns out that Arthur — who says stuff like “As they say in Moscow, I’m hot to Trotsky!” — really wants to cheat on his wife.

Matt asks Marion to remove her wedding ring and pretend she doesn’t know him. Marion agrees. (Personally, I would have just asked for a maritime divorce.) But when Arthur starts hitting on Marion and Marion starts spending time with Arthur, Matt is finally forced to stand up and announce, “This is my wife!”

“You’re fired!” Arthur replies.

And you’re sued, Matt should have said. Seriously, you can’t fire someone for being married. And perhaps Arthur figures that out because he later offers to give Matt back his job. Matt smiles and accepts. Does Matt have any self-respect?

Finally, teenage Melissa Weatherly (Danielle Brisebois) boards the boat with her father, Elliot (William Christopher). Melissa’s parents divorced when Melissa was young and she’s never really known her father. But now that her mom has died, Melissa is living with Elliot and the two are trying to adjust. Elliot makes the mistake of suggesting that Melissa go to boarding school. Melissa becomes convinced that Elliot doesn’t love her. Fortunately, Vicki is there to talk to Melissa and the Captain is there to talk to Elliot.

This storyline made me think of my own relationship with my Dad and, as a result, it brought tears to my eyes. Gavin MacLeod always did well whenever the show gave him a serious storyline. Plus, it was good that Vicki actually had someone her own age to hang out with for once. I always worry about the fact that Vicki seems to spend all of her time on a cruise ship, surrounded by people who are about 40 years older than her.

This is one of the many episodes that Ted Lange directed. Lange always seemed to get better-than-average performances out of both the regulars and the guest stars and that’s certainly the case here. William Christopher and Danielle Brisebois both turn in strong performances as the father and the daughter. Parker Stevenson and Kirstie Alley were themselves newlyweds when they did this episode and their chemistry comes through, even if Stevenson is playing an annoyingly wimpy character.

This was a good cruise!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.17 “House Party”

Posted on March 3, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the bicycle cops screw up again.

Episode 3.17 “House Party”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on February 1st, 1997)

One of the one more entertaining things about Pacific Blue is witnessing how bad the bicycle cops actually are at their job.

I don’t think that was intentional on the part of the show. I think the show meant for us to watch TC, Palermo, and Victor on their bikes and think to ourselves, “Those are the men that I want protecting me!” However, the narrative demands of an hour show required that the bike cops always screw up in some way, whether it’s failing to catch the bad guys the first time that they commit a crime or suspecting the wrong guy while working undercover or just letting their personal lives get in the way of their professional judgment. Combine that with some bad scripts and a group of actors who struggled with showing any emotion beyond grim annoyance and you have a show about cops who are not only incompetent but also kind of rude.

That’s certainly the case with this week’s episode. Not only do they allow an escaped murderer (Currie Graham) to grab a gun and take over the station but then TC proceeds to spend almost the entire episode arguing with Palermo and the SWAT team because Chris is among those being held hostage on the inside. When the cops realize that the murderer’s girlfriend is somewhere on the beach, they put Cory in a chicken uniform and have her walk around pretending to hand out flyers for a restaurant. “Chickelicous,” Cory says as she walks along the beach. Of course, the murder’s girlfriend spots her and taking off running. Guess what? It’s not easy to chase someone when you’re dressed like a chicken! Seriously, I can understand trying to maintain some element of surprise but why would they put Coy in a costume that severely limits her mobility?

Anyway, this was a hostage episode, which means that almost whole thing was the hostage taker barking orders while the hostages either cowered in fear or tried to stalk some sense into him and the members of his gang. Episodes about hostage situations are almost always incredibly dull and this episode was no exception. In the end, Victor — who was in the station when the situation started and managed to go unseen by the hostage takers — was there to do his John McClane thing. All of the bad guys died. The hostages were freed. The bike patrol’s main concern was that Chris was okay. I would probably be offended if I was one of the civilian hostages. Just because their friend is okay doesn’t excuse the incompetence that led to the situation in the first place.

Eh. Just another day in L.A., I guess.