Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.8 “Vindication”

Posted on October 21, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, some of the players get trapped in the woods.

Episode 5.8 “Vindication”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on December 6th, 1989)

It’s time for the Barbara Ann Awards.

The Barbara Ann Awards are a never-before mentioned annual tradition in which Dr. Death, Jethro, Bubba, and Zagreb go to a cabin in the woods with a bunch of women and the women compete to be the new Barbara Ann. Yep, it’s just as sleazy as it sounds. Fortunately, this year sees the players being stalked by two mask-wearing, chainsaw-carrying psychoes. While the women hide in the cabin, the players go out to battle their stalkers and, instead, they end up getting caught in a net. Oh no! Is this the end of the California Bulls? (Well, four of them, at least….)

Fortunately, no. It turns out that it was all a practical joke that was set up by the women. Yay! Put those men in their place! The players are so impressed that they give the title of Barbara Ann to the woman who came up with the joke. This whole thing was pretty silly but at least it felt appropriate for October viewing.

The episode’s other storyline featured Johnny Gunn being interviewed by reporter Susan McDermitt (Catherine MacNeal). With protestors constantly picketing the games and calling Johnny a murderer, TD Parker (OJ Simpson) figures that it’s time for some damage control. TD understands just how damaging it is to the reputation of the game to have a player who is routinely accused of being a murderer.

So, Susan and Johnny go to Johnny’s hometown in Pennsylvania. We learn about Johnny’s past as a foster kid and a high school football star. In a somewhat implausible scene, Johnny’s ex-girlfriend (Tally Chanel) admits on camera that she lied about what happened the night that Johnny killed a man. It turns out that Johnny was actually acting in self-defense.

“I’m glad that’s taken care of!” OJ says as he watches the news report.

This is another episode of 1st & Ten that’s impossible to watch without thinking about OJ Simpson’s later life. Every time OJ started to talk about how unfair it was that Johnny was being judged for being a murderer, I cringed just a little bit. The episode’s contention that one positive news story was all Johnny needed to get on with his life was almost charming in its naiveté.

Next week …. well, who knows? Hopefully, it won’t involve any more murders.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.7 “Blood Money”

Posted on October 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Lawrence Taylor returns!

Episode 5.7 “Blood Money”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 22nd, 1989)

Last season, Tombstone Packer (Lawrence Taylor) was introduced as a cocky linebacker from Arizona who bragged about how he was going to injure the Bulls’s quarterback. At the start of this week’s episode, it revealed that Tombstone is now playing for the Bulls but he’s still up to his old tricks. He leads the league in sacks and interceptions and he’s known for injuring quarterbacks.

Why is he injuring quarterbacks? It turns out that Michael Westwood is paying the linebackers bonuses for injuring players. However, when Westwood tries to shortchange Tombstone because he didn’t take out Texas’s quarterback until the final play of the game, Tombstone gets angry. He goes to the bar and complains to another drinker about not getting his money. That other drinker is McCarthy (Fredric Cook), a formerly great journalist who is now an alcoholic and desperate for either money or a story. He secretly records his conversation with Tombstone.

The next day, McCarthy shows up in the office of TD Parker (OJ Simpson). He tells TD that he’s going to release the story about Tombstone getting paid to injure quarterbacks unless the Bulls pay him $100,000. TD says that he needs time to talk to Westwood and Kristy before agreeing to pay that much money. McCarthy gives him three hours.

However, McCarthy also sends the details about the story to “The Sports Page.” Rumors starts to circulate. TD and Kristy go on a sports show and deny that anyone is getting paid an injury bonus. Meanwhile, Westwood confronts McCarthy and pays him $25,000 for the incriminating tape.

Without the tape, the story is dead. During the next game, Tombstone injures another quarterback and smiles about it.

Wow, what a dark episode. That said, it perhaps would have been more effective if Lawrence Taylor was capable of delivering his lines without looking straight at the camera. As I mentioned back when I was reviewing Hang Time, it’s always easy to tell when a professional athlete has been cast on a show because he inevitably ends up giving the worst performance. Taylor was a professional football player. If being a bad actor makes you a good athlete, then Taylor must have been one of the best on the field.

Actually, it’s not just Lawrence Taylor who gives a bad performance in this episode. Fredric Cook isn’t particularly effective as the drunken McCarthy. As for OJ Simpson, he delivers his lines with the bland, forced earnestness that epitomized his career as an actor. He talks a lot and you don’t believe a word he says.

This episode probably plays a bit different today than it did in 1989. Today, we know enough about concussions that it’s a bit disturbing to see Tombstone laughing about giving one to a quarterback. OJ says that the Bulls play “rough” but they also play “clean.” I have no idea what that means.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.6 “Clean and Sober”

Posted on October 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Billy Cooper gets in trouble.

Episode 5.6 “Clean and Sober”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 15th, 1989)

This week’s episode features three storylines.

The simplest of the storylines features Denardo’s ex-wife (Arlene Golonka) showing up at his house and saying that she’s hiding from a stalker. She even changes Denardo’s phone number. It turns out that her stalker is actually her current husband and they’re just having a minor argument. They’re reunited while Denardo stands in the background and smiles.

The comedic storyline features an ex-player named Wes (Bob Chandler) asking Dr. Death and Jethro to serve as his bodyguards for a week. Wes, who left football and got the lead role on a cop show, says that he’s going to have to testify against a mob boss. Dr. Death and Jethro agree to keep an eye on him. For instance, they bring him to practice. They also freak out when someone tosses an unlit stick of dynamite at them. Eventually, it turns out that Wes set them up to be the victims on a television prank show. This storyline also featured Zagred begging Wes to put him on his show. Even TD Parker (OJ Simpson) got in on the spirit, asking Wes if he could help him pitch a television show about a football manager who solves murders. Uhmm, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, OJ….

The dramatic storyline features Billy getting into an accident while driving drunk. His companion for the night is nearly killed. Billy is sentenced to 90 days of alcohol rehab. The member of the Bulls are not supportive of Billy’s attempt to get sober. Johnny Gunn resents that he spent six years in prison for something that he did while drunk but Billy is apparently going to get away with just a slap on the wrist. Billy stops drinking and starts popping pills.

TD is upset to see that Billy is not making a real effort to get sober. When TD hears an commentator refer to Billy as being a “true professional,” TD replies, “Not in my book.”

Really, OJ?

This episode was all over the place, as is usually the case with 1st & Ten. I actually found the storyline about Wes to be amusing but it didn’t feel like it belonged on an episode where Billy was trying and failing to get sober. That said, this episode’s portrayal of Billy as being too rich and too famous to be held responsible for his mistakes was probably pretty close to the truth when it comes to celebrity addicts. Billy may hate himself but he’s got enough cash to soothe the pain.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.5 “Love and Marriage”

Posted on September 30, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, OJ Simpson falls for a blonde. Uh-oh.

Episode 5.5 “Love and Marriage”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 8th, 1989)

TD Parker (OJ Simpson) and Kristy Fullbright (Shannon Tweed) end up working closely together while searching for a new punter. Kristy is in the process of getting a divorce from her husband. TD is already divorced and has been chasing after almost every woman that he sees. Still, TD doesn’t know if he should get involved with someone with whom he works. Kristy, meanwhile, isn’t sure that she isn’t still in love with her husband….

Meanwhile, Zagreb goes on a dating show but is humiliated when his date, Colleen (Mitzi Kapture), says that he was a terrible date whose breath smelled like garlic. The entire team watches the show and starts to chant, “Colleen! Colleen!” Ha hah, everyone hates Zagreb. Later, Colleen approaches Zagreb at the bar and tells him that the show told her to say a lot of negative stuff about Zagreb but, actually, she wants to date him again. Isn’t Zagreb married? I remember that there was a huge storyline about him getting married during the third season.

Finally, Bubba and Jethro are taken to small claims court over an incident that happened at the bar. Jethro decides that he would like to get together with the plaintiff.

But let’s get back to OJ Simpson and Shannon Tweed. I don’t know if I can express just how boring it is to watch two mid actors with zero screen presence fall for each other. Because it’s impossible to look at TD Parker and not see OJ Simpson, I found myself getting very worried as I watched TD obsess on an emotionally fragile blonde. At the end of the episode, it looks like TD and Kristy are finally going to hook up but then Kristy’s husband calls and says he’s not sure if he wants a divorce. Kristy says she’s not sure either. TD leaves Kristy’s house, looking regretful.

As I’ve mentioned before, the presence of OJ Simpson add a subtext to every scene that undoubtedly was not there when this show first aired. OJ is supposed to look wistful as he leaves the house. Instead, I found myself hoping that Kristy would remember to lock all the doors that night and definitely not go out to dinner at Mezzaluna.

I guess the important thing, though, is that Bulls got a new punter.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.4 “Mind Games”

Posted on September 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Bulls sign a new player!

Episode 5.4 “Mind Games”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 1st, 1989)

The Bulls have signed college phenom Achilles Byron (Ronald William Lawrence) to the roster. However, in order to his name on the dotted line, they also have to sign his loud-mouthed, wheelchair-bound father (Ron O’Neal). Mr. Byron is tough taskmaster who constantly yells at Achilles and forces him to do extra drills. Denardo isn’t happy about Mr. Byron’s presence on the sidelines. Quite rightly, he explains to TD Parker and Kristy that there can only be one coach on the field.

Fortunately, Achilles scores the game-winning touchdown in his first game and Mr. Byron announces that Achilles no longer needs him. Mr. Byron also reveals that he was driving drunk on the night that he crashed his car, injured his spine, and killed Achilles’s mother. Wow, that’s a lot to dump on a kid who just won a football game. Luckily, Achilles had already figured out all of that on his own. Achilles is like No hard feelings and I’m going to say, “Ouch,” on the behalf of the deceased Mrs. Bryon.

Denardo, as a sign of respect, rolls Mr. Byron out of the locker room. Denardo also threatens to roll Mr. Byron down a flight of stairs. Mr. Byron suddenly starts laughing.

1st & Ten has this weird habit of tossing new characters into the mix and expecting us to get emotionally invested in them despite the fact that we’ve never seen them before and we’ll never seem them again. I’ve already checked with the IMDb. This is the only appearance of the character of Achilles Byron on the show. The Bulls agreeing to let Mr. Byron sit on the sidelines never made any sense and the final revelation about the night he was driving drunk came out of nowhere. It almost felt like a parody of badly-done melodrama.

While all of that was going on, Dr. Death was briefly brainwashed by a cult. It doesn’t look like he’ll ever get his killer instinct back! But then an opposing player calls Dr. Death a “pinhead” and he snaps out of it. He scores a viscous tackle that leaves the other player so dazed that that he wanders over to the wrong sideline. Obviously, he has a concussion but the laugh track tells us not to worry about it.

Dr. Death getting brainwashed actually was kind of funny. Ron O’Neal, best known for starring in Superfly, does a lot of yelling as Mr. Byron. It’s not exactly a good performance but one gets the feeling that was more the fault of the script than O’Neal. This was another curiously insubstantial episode of 1st & Ten.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.3 “False Start”

Posted on September 16, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, OJ Simpson is stalked by an abhorrent admirer!

Episode 5.3 “Fale Start”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 25th, 1989)

Johnny Gunn, the new quarterback, is injured while leading the Bulls to victory in their latest game. Westwood, who has an unexplained dislike for Gunn, convinces the drugged quarterback to sign away his power of attorney and then has Gunn undergo a risky surgery. When Gunn realizes what has happened, he goes to the construction site of Westwood’s new house and knocks a few things over. The lesson? When your quarterback has just finished spending several years in prison for manslaughter, don’t upset him.

Dr. Death is stunned to discover that the highest bidder in the “Win a Day With Dr. Death” auction was not Heather Locklear but instead Carlyle Trent (Vince Edwards), a motorcycle-riding millionaire who happens to be gay. (Trent was obviously based on publisher Malcolm Forbes Sr.) Trent thinks that Dr. Death might be gay too. Oh, the hilarity, I guess. Actually, this storyline wasn’t as homophobic as one might expect from 1st & Ten. One of cool things about Dr. Death is that, despite his fearsome image, he’s usually the most open-minded and least prejudiced of all of the Bulls.

Finally, TD Parker (OJ Simpson) finds himself being stalked by a woman named Lisa (Laura Alavarez). Hey, that’s my name! Anyway, what starts as a one night stand ends with OJ having to talk Lisa out of shooting him and Kristy. Wow, OJ Simpson getting stalked by a homicidal maniac. Who would have guessed?

This episode tried to cram three big storylines into just 24 minute and, as a result, everything ended up feeling a bit half-baked. Last season, for all of its flaws, did seem to have a definite destination in mind, The Bulls were finally going to win the Championship Game. This season, on the other hand, has been all over the place.

Get it together, Bulls!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.2 “The Con”

Posted on September 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Bulls get a new quarterback.

Episode 5.2 “The Con”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 18th, 1989)

Following the murder of Doug Clayton (who, if I remember correctly, was still alive in last season’s flash-forward), the Bulls need a new quarterback. T.D. Parker (O.J. Simpson) is contacted by a former player who now works as a prison guard. Vito Del Greco (Chris Meloni) is the prison’s best quarterback. He’s been serving time on a manslaughter charge, but he’s set to be released. T.D. watches Vito throw the ball once and signs him.

Coach Denardo isn’t happy. “I’m not a parole officer!” Kristy Fulbright and Michael Westwood aren’t happy either. They want a big name at quarterback. T.D. believes in Vito but still agrees to put him on the inactive list. A previously unseen and unmentioned player named Lenny Santino is hired as the new quarterback.

Vito struggles to fit in with the other Bulls and to adjust to being a free man. Billy Cooper makes the mistake of singing “Jailhouse Rock” off-key and gets punched out. “Nobody makes fun of Elvis!” That night at a bar, Vito is nearly goaded into another fight. (His manslaughter conviction came from a bar fight.) He announces, “Del Greco is dead,” and leaves.

That weekend the Bulls play their first game of the season. Under Santino’s uncertain leadership they lose 41–7. In the owner’s box, Kristy wonders what happens when the Bulls lose. T.D. tells her that when you lose, the fans chop off your head. Well, T.D. would know something about that.

In the locker room, Vito approaches T.D. and says Del Greco is dead. His name is now Johnny Gunn, and he is going to be the new quarterback of the California Bulls. T.D. gives him a shot because “Johnny Gunn… that sounds like a quarterback to me!”

Meanwhile, Bubba is stunned to learn his wife is cheating on him. Zagreb is tricked into a phony stock scheme. It turns out Billy and Dr. Death set him up as revenge for Zagreb’s tell-all memoir.

After the Bulls went undefeated last season, it was kind of nice to see them lose this week. It’s always more fun to root for the underdogs. As you probably already guessed, the most interesting thing about this episode is the introduction of a young, intense, rather skinny Chris Meloni as Vito Del Greco, a.k.a. Johnny Gunn. Meloni even had hair. That’s how old this episode is.

Will Johnny lead the Bulls back to the championship game? We’ll see.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.1 “The Book of Zagreb”

Posted on September 2, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we start season 5!

Episode 5.1 “The Book of Zagreb”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 11th, 1989)

It’s time for another season of football with the California Bulls.

In the wake of the Bulls finally winning the championship, Zagreb has written a tell-all book about his teammates. He spills that Bubba cheats on his wife, that Dr. Death smokes weed, and that, during the previous season, one member of the Bulls was killed by a bull. Solid continuity from 1st & Ten. About time.

T.D. Parker (O.J. Simpson) is described as a chronic womanizer who collects the underwear of secretaries. T.D. is so furious he could kill someone. Before he does, though, he has to keep the Bulls functioning. Help arrives in the form of a new general manager sent by the Dodds Corporation: Kristy Fulbright (Shannon Tweed). Kristy wants the Bulls to become the first team to win two championships in a row. Coach Denardo agrees.

A few familiar faces are missing from the locker room. Mad Dog has been traded to New York. Former quarterback Doug Clayton is mentioned as having been murdered after the big game. (Yikes. What exactly did he say to T.D.?) Dr. Death is now working as a professional wrestler, but he walks away from the ring the moment he’s told to take a fall.

If this review feels a little random, that’s because the episode is too. As usual with 1st & Ten, there isn’t much of a real plot. Everyone is furious at Zagreb, then they get over it. Dr. Death is done with football, then he gets over it. Bubba is terrified his wife will leave him, then she doesn’t. The show is about football; the characters barely have lives off the field.

The best things here are John Kassir’s handful of funny lines as Zagreb and Shannon Tweed’s red dress, which is to die for. We’ll see how the rest of the season plays out.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.11 “If Looks Could Kill”

Posted on July 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Mitch is in trouble.

Episode 2.11 “If Looks Could Kill”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on November 25th, 1991)

Mitch rescues Allison (Shannon Tweed) after her car crashes into the ocean. Mitch quickly falls in love and Allison seems to fall for Mitch. What Mitch doesn’t know is that Allison is actually a murderer and that she’s just using him to try to find the money that was in her car when it crashed. For once, Eddie is the one who suspects the truth and who has to keep Mitch from being killed by someone who he trusts.

Baywatch occasionally did crime-related episodes and they always felt out of place. This episode opens with Allison drowning her latest lover and it’s actually a rather disturbing sequence. It’s effective but it doesn’t feel right for a show in which the main appeal is the fact that everything is lightweight and easy-going.

I imagine David Hasselhoff enjoyed episodes like this, if just because nearly every episode during the first season of Baywatch Nights was exactly like this one.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.7 “The Wedding/Castaways”

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Lawrence ruins everything.

Episode 7.7 “The Wedding/Castaways”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on November 26th, 1983)

Ugh, this episode.

Nerdy Fred Connors (Richard Gilliland) wants to spend a weekend alone with a beautiful woman. His favorite supermodel, Christy Robbins (Phyllis Davis), has been pressured by her manager (Steve Perry) into agreeing to spend the weekend with Fred at Pelican Cove. Fred and Christy will have their picture taken before and after their weekend together to show just how much spending time alone with Christy Robbins will improve one’s outlook on life.

Let’s just stop here and state the obvious. This makes ZERO sense. Christy’s manager has no idea who Fred is. He doesn’t even meet Fred until it’s time to him and Christy to go to Pelican Cove. Christy is a world-famous model. In what world would a celebrity agree to be abandoned on an isolated island with a total stranger? The photographers aren’t staying on the island with them. Instead, Christy and Fred are dropped off on the island and then everyone else leaves. If I was Christy, I would get a new manager.

A rival model named Celina Morgan (Shannon Tweed) was also up for the “abandoned on an island with a possible sex maniac” gig and she’s upset that she lost out to Christy. So, she sneaks out to Pelican Bay herself and soon, she and Christy are fighting over the right to spend their time with Fred. It’s dumb and it makes no sense and, considering that the whole fantasy is basically two beautiful woman fighting over one dorky guy, it’s actually feels a bit demeaning and mean-spirited.

Of course, it’s nowhere near as mean-spirited as the other fantasy. Lucy Gorman (Jeannie Wilson) is unhappy in her marriage to Dr. Jack Gorman (Gordon Thomson). She tells Roarke that the only good thing that came out of her marriage was her daughter (Andrea Barber) but Lucy even feels jealous of her! Lucy wants to go back to her wedding day so she can see what would happen if she left her husband at the altar and pursued another doctor (Richard Pierson).

Well, the main that would happen is that Lucy’s daughter would never be born. But somehow, this doesn’t occur to Lucy until the fantasy has started. How would that not occur to a mother? This fantasy was …. I can’t even begin to describe how annoying it was. Lucy came across as being very self-centered and kind of dumb.

I swear, the seventh season has just been terrible so far and I blame one person.

And, no, it’s not Mr. Roarke.

Seriously, ever since Lawrence showed up, the Island just hasn’t been the same. Are we sure that Lawrence isn’t the Devil? I mean, I know the Devil was traditionally played by Roddy McDowall on this show but I’m sure he change his appearance. There’s something sinister about Lawrence and I don’t trust him. He doesn’t care about Roarke and he doesn’t care about the fantasies.

What a disappointing trip to the Island. Traditionally, the last season of any show is usually the worst but it’s still painful to watch Fantasy Island misfire like it did with this episode.