Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.12 “The Boom Boom Womb”

Posted on September 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, St. Elsewhere gets topical.

Episode 4.12 “The Boom Boom Womb”

(Dir by Nicholas Mele, originally aired on January 8th 1986)

When Elliot’s car gets stuck in the snow, Luther offers to help in return for Elliot looking after Luther’s homing pigeon. Elliot, whose father was a veterinarian, agrees. Unfortunately, when Elliot attempts to turn his sink into a birdbath, the pigeon is electrocuted after it accidentally pulls an electric shaver into the water. Elliot originally tells Luther that the bird flew out a window and then froze to death on the windowsill. Luther accepts the story. A guilt-ridden Elliot later tells Luther the truth, and Luther shoves him to the ground.

Watching this storyline, I thought about how bad I always feel for Luther. In many ways, he’s the smartest guy on the show. He’s certainly the most compassionate and the least judgmental. (Yes, he pushed Elliot, but Elliot did lie to him about how the bird died.) And yet, because he didn’t grow up rich, Luther is stuck working as an orderly, and the doctors frequently seem to look down on him.

While Elliot’s lying to Luther, Helen Rosenthal is trying to figure out why her youngest son, Jeff (Ina Fried), keeps acting out in school and at home. She even takes him to see St. Eligius’s staff psychiatrist, Dr. Weiss (Philip Sterling). Dr. Weiss’s diagnosis is that Helen’s son is basically growing up to be a jerk.

As for the rest of the episode, it was all about current events, 1986-style. Pru (Amanda Wyss), the developmentally challenged teenager who got pregnant during her last hospital visit, has an abortion even though she doesn’t know what that means. Dr. Morrison struggles to reconcile his pro-life beliefs with his job as a doctor. Dr. Ehrlich, who has no beliefs, performs the operation. Meanwhile, a bomber (Rob Garrison) blows up the Boston Women’s Clinic and, as the episode ends, is seen sneaking a bomb into St. Eligius.

This is typically the type of storyline that would feature Westphall wandering around glumly. Westphall, however, is busy at a hearing to determine whether his housekeeper, Morena (Edith Diaz), will be deported back to El Salvador. Westphall is worried about her being deported because she’s so good with Tommy. In other words, this is yet another example of Westphall making someone else’s problem all about himself.

This episode was a bit too heavy-handed for my tastes, but I did appreciate that Dr. Morrison was at least not portrayed as a monster for his views. When it comes to being heavy-handed, the New Amsterdam episode that aired in 2022 and dealt with Roe v. Wade being overturned will always be the champion. That episode featured a slow-motion montage of people staring at their phones, dropping their coffee cups, and, in one case, running down a street. (“Maybe she’s running to the clinic to get an abortion while she still can,” Erin said when we saw the opening of the episode.) Compared to that, this episode of St. Elsewhere is actually pretty even-handed.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.10 “Loss of Power”

Posted on September 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the lights go out.

Episode 4.10 “Loss of Power”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)

Due to a blizzard, the power has gone down in Boston. At St. Eligius, the backup generator comes to a sputtering and unreliable life. Over the course of the night shift, many things happen in the dark.

Dr. Craig successfully performs lifesaving surgery without being able to use any of the tools that surgeons have come to take for granted. After the grueling operation is completed, he leaves the ER without thanking anyone else. Dr. Wade chases after him and tells him that he should have at least told everyone that they did a good job. Dr. Craig replies that everyone did their job like they were supposed to. Just the fact that he allows them into his operating room should be thanks enough.

Pru Dowler (Amanda Wyss), the developmentally challenged teenager who was caught having sex in her hospital room a few episodes ago, returns with her mother (Terrence O’Connor). Pru has been having stomach pains and morning sickness. After Dr. Morrison confirms that Pru is pregnant, her mother says that Pru will be having an abortion. Morrison tries to talk her out of it, to no avail.

Working at the nurses’ station, Helen Rosenthal gets a summons to appear in court. Lucy is suing over the incident in which Helen slapped her.

Fiscus and Mona have sex in the hospital and, when Fiscus proposes, Mona accepts.

Elliott treats a patient who claims that he’s going to turn into either a vampire or a werewolf at midnight. Elliott thinks that the man belongs in the psych ward, but then he discovers that the man is actually suffering from a real condition that makes it difficult for him to go out during the day. The man spent so much time being made fun of for his nocturnal lifestyle that he eventually decided that he really was a vampire.

And finally, Dr. Westphall is stuck in an elevator with a claustrophobic man (Michael Des Barres) who is also named Donald. Stuck in an elevator with a stranger, Westphall does what he always does. He uses the situation as an excuse to start talking about the volunteer work he did in Ethiopia and how disappointed he is that everyone doesn’t share his attitude when it comes to community outreach. The other Donald responds by talking about the time he was thrown in jail for marijuana possession. Eventually, the other Donald dislocates his shoulder when he throws himself against the elevator doors.

Seriously, can you think of anything worse than being stuck in an elevator with Donald Westphall? Westphall is already one of the most depressing people on the planet. Now imagine being trapped in a confined space with him. Once again, this episode proves that Westphall can take any situation and turn it into a lesson about how he’s right and everyone else is wrong.

That said, I liked this episode. It reminded me of the season-one episode that featured a small group of doctors working the night shift. It was interesting to see how everyone adjusted to the darkness. This was a workplace episode in which we watched as everyone did their best under less than ideal conditions. In the end, it was obvious that Dr. Craig was correct.

His people are the best.

It would just be nice if he would let them know that once in a while.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.6 “Lost and Found In Space”

Posted on August 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s not just the patients who need to be stitched up.

Episode 4.6 “Lost and Found In Space”

(Dir by Robert Becker, originally aired on November 13th, 1985)

Bobby Caldwell lives!

Things were looking pretty bad for Bobby last week. As you may remember, he picked up a waitress, took her to his Cape Cod home, and then ended up getting slashed across the face when she pulled a razor blade out from under her tongue. This week, Bobby is wandering around the hospital with a huge bandage on his face and telling everyone that he had an “accident.” It’s only to Dr. Turner that he confesses that he was attacked by the waitress. Bobby claims that he responded by punching her and that he then called the police.

Bobby spends this episode in a truly foul mood. Not only does he have a bandage on his face but he’s also been told that the Hospital Review Board doesn’t feel that he’s performing enough surgeries for the residents to really get the training that they need. (“We’re a teaching hospital,” Dr. Craig explains.) Bobby pressures an old man into getting a face lift that he really doesn’t need. Even Victor thinks that the surgery is unethical. I mean, when you’ve lost Victor Ehrlich….

Meanwhile, Dr. Westphall is finally released from the hospital after fainting due to the Malaria that he brought back from working abroad. Westphall is depressed about the whole thing. Westphall is always depressed. Even when his daughter comes home to help out, Westphall is depressed to see her. Cheer up, Westphall!

After weeks of trying to lose weight, Elliot discovers that he’s actually gained three pounds. What’s worse is that his girlfriend, Marcy (Jeannie Elias), lost weight at the same time that Elliot was gaining weight and, when she sees that he’s just as heavy as ever, she dumps him.

Amongst the patients, Pru Dowler (Amanda Wyss) and Buddy Askew (Mark Baker) are two developmentally challenged teenagers who end up “procreating” (as Luther puts it) in Pru’s hospital room. Dr. Craig takes it upon himself to discuss what happened when Pru and it’s just as awkward as you might expect.

Col. Chuck Cochrane (David Ackroyd) is an astronaut who collapses while giving a speech. In the hospital, he has nightmares about being trapped in space. The whole storyline brought to mind The Ninth Configuration, a film that perhaps not coincidentally starred the future Donald Westphall himself, Ed Flanders.

The highlight of this episode was undoubtedly William Daniels’s performance as Dr. Craig. With Dr. Westphall recovering his illness, the day-to-day tasks of running the hospital fell on Dr. Craig and he was not at all happy about it. On this show, William Daniels is always at his best when Dr. Craig is in a bad mood. Before going on rounds, Dr. Craig predicted that Dr. Morrison would show up late and have some overly complicated excuse. Morrison did just that and it was hard not to smile at Craig’s exasperation. At the same time, it is made clear that the main reason that Craig is upset is because his granddaughter has been taken away from him. It was hard not to feel bad for him, even when he was biting everyone’s heads off.

This was not a happy episode. No one in the hospital seems to be doing well. Bobby is bitter. Dr. Craig is angry. Elliott is feeling defeated. And Westphall …. well, he’s just Westphall. Fortunately, the strong cast and the smart writing made up for the fact that St. Eligius isn’t a happy place right now.

Seriously, I could watch William Daniels yell at people all day.

Firefighter (1986, directed by Robert Michael Lewis)

Posted on April 14, 2026 by Jedadiah Leland

Nancy McKeon gives a good performance as Cindy Fralic, the first woman to become a firefighter in Los Angeles County. The film follows her as she takes the written exam, passes the physical exam (becoming the first woman to do so in the 60 years history of the Los Angeles Fire Department), and proves herself as both a firefighter and paramedic. She also finds love after her unsupportive husband divorces her.

Firefighter‘s story is bookended by a scene of Cindy telling a group of kids about what it is like to be a female firefighter. The film was made to inspire more women to pursue a career as a firefighter and sometimes, it seems like it pulls its punches when it comes to portraying just how difficult it probably was for the real-life Cindy to be Los Angeles’s first female firefighter. With the exception of her husband and one sexist captain, every man on the force is portrayed as being open-minded and rooting for Cindy from the start. No one at the firehouse has any trouble adjusting to a woman suddenly sharing their quarters. Almost everyone is supportive. The only time Cindy gets truly upset is when she has to get her hair cut. Sometimes, the film makes it seems like it was almost too easy for Cindy to be a groundbreaker.

It’s a good for what it is, though. Nancy McKeon gives a good performance. Ed Lauter plays her supportive boss and Amanda Wyss plays her best friend. It’s a made-for-TV movie so don’t go into it expecting a raging inferno. Instead, it’s just a sincere story about a woman who made history and who can maybe inspire others to do the same.

#MondayMuggers presents STRATEGIC COMMAND (1997) starring Michael Dudikoff!

Posted on May 12, 2025 by Bradley Crain

Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. Tonight, Monday May 12th, we are showing STRATEGIC COMMAND (1997) starring Michael Dudikoff, Paul Winfield, Richard Norton, Amanda Wyss, Bryan Cranston, and Michael Cavanaugh.

This movie focuses on Rick Harding (Michael Dudikoff), a former Marines officer, who’s now working in the FBI as a chemical weapons designer. While packing up one night, a group of armed soldiers break into the FBI research lab. Interestingly, these soldiers are led by a man named Carlos Gruber (Richard Norton).

So, join us tonight for #MondayMuggers and watch STRATEGIC COMMAND! It’s on Amazon Prime. The trailer is included below:

Silverado (1985, directed by Lawrence Kasdan)

Posted on January 11, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

In the old west, a cowboy named Emmet (Scott Glenn) teams up with a reformed outlaw named Paden (Kevin Kline) and they bust Emmet’s wild younger brother, Jake (Kevin Costner), out of jail. After Mal (Danny Glover) helps the three of them escape from a posse, they all end up going to the town of Silverado, where all four of them have business. Emmett and Jake want to protect their sister from the corrupt son (Ray Baker) of a cattle baron who was previously killed by Emmett. Mal wants to save his sister Rae (Lynn Whitfield) from an evil gambler (Jeff Goldblum). Paden discovers that Cobb (Brian Dennehy), his former partner-in-crime, is now the sheriff of Silverado and working for the cattle barons. When Paden tries to protect the new settlers (including Rosanne Arquette), it leads to a confrontation with his former partner.

In the 80s, when he wasn’t directing films like The Big Chill and The Accidental Tourist, Lawrence Kasdan specialized in paying homage to the films of Hollywood’s golden age. He started his directorial career with Body Heat, a modern film noir. He worked on the screenplays of both Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark. With Silverado, Kasdan tried to resurrect the western.

Silverado is a traditional western with a few modern touches, like casting Jeff Goldblum as a gambler and John Cleese as the sheriff who wants to execute Kevin Costner. Silverado also has more humor than a typical western, largely thanks to Kevin Kline. Silverado starts out as a comedy before turning serious and grim once the four heroes finally reach Silverado.

Kasdan’s love of the genre is obvious in every frame of Silverado but, in trying to tell multiple stories at once, the movie spreads itself too thin. I like that Kasdan tried to shake things up by casting actors who most people wouldn’t expect to see in a western but both Kevin Kline and Brian Dennehy seem miscast in their roles and their final confrontation never becomes the epic moment that it needs to be. Scott Glenn and Kevin Costner are far more believable in their roles. Danny Glover is also believable but his character is underused.

Silverado was obviously a labor of love for Kasdan and it shows that, if nothing else, Kasdan understood the appeal of the genre and the beauty of the wide open frontier. The movie has its flaws but fans of westerns will appreciate his effort.

Film Review: Strategic Command (dir by Rick Jacobson)

Posted on July 1, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In the 1997 film, Strategic Command, Richard Norton plays a terrorist named Carlos …. wait for it …. Gruber. If that last name sounds familiar, that’s because the villain of Die Hard was named Hans Gruber and the bad guy from Die Hard With A Vengeance was named Simon Gruber. Gruber — the number one name in hostage situations!

Anyway, Carlos Gruber and his fellow terrorists steal a chemical called Bromax from the FBI. Bromax is a chemical weapon, one that can be used to kill thousands of people. It’s probably not a good idea for anyone to have Bromax, regardless of whether they are terrorists or the FBI. What’s the point of Bromax, really? It only has evil purposes. Plus, it has a stupid name.

Gruber proceeds to hijack Air Force Two, holding the Vice President (Michael Cavanaugh) and several journalists hostage. Gruber wants his fellow terrorists to be released from prison and he’s prepared to kill the Vice President if he doesn’t get what he wants. Perhaps because Gruber realizes how little the Vice President actually does, Gruber is also willing to spray Bromax over America.

Not wanting to see America get Bromaxed, the President sends an elite force of special op. soldiers after Air Force Two. Captain Rattner (Jsu Garcia, back when he was still using the name Nick Corri) is in charge of the mission and he doesn’t expect there to be any slip-ups. Accompanying Rattner’s men is Rick Harding (Michael Dudikoff!), the inventor of Bromax! Along with not wanting to see Bromax sprayed over America, Harding also wants to save the life of his wife, Michelle (Amanda Wyss, who co-starred with Jsu Garcia in the original Nightmare on Elm Street). Michelle is one of the journalists on the plane.

Strategic Command is stupid, yet strangely likable. It’s impossible not to admire the film’s attempt to be a huge action epic without actually spending any money. As a result, Air Force 2 is a commercial airliner. There’s a surprisingly small number of people involved on both sides of the plot. The viewer might expect the hostage situation to be one of those big, “all hands on deck” emergencies but, instead, the President is content to send 6 people to get the job done. Fortunately, there aren’t that many terrorists either. This is action on a budget.

Adding to the film’s overall strangeness is the miscasting of Michael Dudikoff as a quiet and somewhat nerdy scientist. This is one of those films where the viewer is meant to assume that a character is smart just because he’s wearing glasses. Dudikoff is so miscast that, again, it all becomes strangely likable. He and Richard Norton are so enthusiastic about chewing up the scenery that it’s kind of fun to watch. Also fun to watch is the legitimate great actor Bryan Cranston, cast here as a vain and cowardly anchorman. One gets the feeling that this is probably not a film that Cranston brags about but his performance isn’t bad at all. Every film like this needs to have a self-important reporter who can get humiliated in some fashion and Cranston handles the role like a pro.

Strategic Command is dumb but kind of fun, in the way that many 90s direct-to-video action films tend to be. It’s a good film for when you want to watch something that won’t necessarily require your full attention. In fact, the less thought one gives to what happens in Strategic Command, the better. Watch it for Dudikoff, Norton, and especially the one and only Bryan Cranston!

Horror Movie Review: A Nightmare On Elm Street (dir by Wes Craven)

Posted on October 13, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Damn, this is a scary movie.

That may seem like an obvious point to make when talking about the original A Nightmare On Elm Street but it’s still one that needs to be made. I always seem to forget just how scary the original is. I mean, there’s been so many sequels. And there was that kind of silly movie where Freddy Krueger fought Jason Vooerhees. And then there was the fairly forgettable reboot. Freddy Krueger is something of a cultural icon. Even people who have never watched any of the movies knows who Freddy Krueger is. Freddy has become so well-known for his quips and his puns and his bad jokes that it’s easy to forget that the reason he put razors on his gloves was so he could kill children.

Despite the fact that Jackie Earle Haley took over the role in the reboot, Freddy Krueger will always be associated with the actor who first played him, Robert Englund. What’s interesting is that, whenever you watch or read an interview with Englund, he comes across as being literally the nicest guy in the world. (His autobiography is one of the most cheerful Hollywood memoirs that I’ve ever read.) Before he was cast as Freddy, Englund was a fairly busy character actor. It’s always a little odd when he pops up in some old movie on TCM because, inevitably, he’s always seems to be playing a nice and often kinda shy guy. Supposedly, when Englund auditioned for the role of Freddy, he darkened his lower eyelids with cigarette ash and he purposefully said very little while meeting with director Wes Craven. Craven, who based Freddy Krueger on a childhood bully, was impressed enough to cast this very likable actor as one of the most evil killers in the history of horror cinema.

And make no mistake about it. In the first film, Freddy Krueger is terrifying. He’s not the joker that he would become in later installments of the franchise. When he does laugh, it’s because he’s taunting his latest victim. This Freddy isn’t quite as quick-witted as the Freddy who showed up in Dream Warriors and other films. This Freddy keeps things simple, popping up in your nightmares, chasing you, and, once he catches you, killing you. It’s not just his glove and his burned faced that makes Freddy terrifying in this film. It’s how determined and relentless he is. He’s not going to stop until he catches you and, seeing as how he’s already dead, there’s really not much you can do to slow him down. Englund plays Freddy as being the ultimate bully. The only joy he gets is from tormenting the rest of us. It’s a testament to the strength of Englund’s performance that memories of Freddy dominate our thoughts when it comes to A Nightmare of Elm Street, despite the fact that Freddy is only onscreen for seven minutes.

It’s an effective film, not just because of the nightmare scenes but also because of the scenes that take place in the waking world. The majority of the film follows Nancy (Heather Langenkamp), Glen (Johnny Depp), Tina (Amanda Wyss), and Rod (Jsu Garcia, who is credited as Nick Corri in this film) as they try not to die. And let’s be honest. None of these characters are particularly deep. Rod’s the bad boy. Tina’s the rebellious Catholic. Glen’s the nice guy. Nancy’s the good girl. They’re archetypes that should be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a slasher film. And yet, you really do care about them, especially Nancy and Glen. (Admittedly, everyone that I’ve ever talked to about this film seems to care about Rod the least.) Langenkamp, Depp, and Wyss all give such likable performances that you really do find yourself worrying about what will happen to them when and if they fall asleep.

I rewatched A Nightmare on Elm Street last night and I was shocked to discover that, even though I knew what was coming, the movie still scared me. The sight of Freddy straining against the wall over Nancy’s head was still unbelievably creepy. The gory scene where Freddy attacks Tina still frightened me, as did the famous geyser of blood scene. Even the much-parodied scene where Freddy’s glove rises up between Nancy’s legs while she sleeps in the bathtub still made me shudder.

It’s easy to take for granted just how good and scary the original Nightmare on Elm Street actually is. For horror fans, it’s a film that deserves to be watched this October season. Just don’t fall asleep afterwards.

Cleaning Out The DVR: The Sandman (dir by Peter Sullivan)

Posted on January 2, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Hi there! So, as you may know because I’ve been talking about it on this site all year, I have got way too much stuff on my DVR. Seriously, I currently have 189 things recorded! I’ve decided that, on January 15th, I am going to erase everything on the DVR, regardless of whether I’ve watched it or not. So, that means that I’ve now have only have a month to clean out the DVR! Will I make it? Keep checking this site to find out! I recorded The Sandman off of the SyFy on October 14th!)

Madison (Shae Smolik) is a little girl who appears to have some issues.

For instance, her father just died under the most mysterious of circumstances. One of the last things that he did before he died was get paranoid when a police car drove by him. He was carrying a gun when he died, as well. Also, he died right in front of Madison.

Madison ends up at the hospital, where she has violent nightmares and struggles so much with the doctors and the orderlies that she has to be strapped down. Since both of her parents are dead, a call is made to her Aunt Claire (Haylie Duff). Claire is willing to adopt Madison but Child Protective Services is a bit less enthusiastic. Claire is unmarried and hasn’t always been the most responsible adult. She currently works as a photographer, taking pictures of aspiring Bettie Pages in her garage. Can Claire not only prove herself to be a good mother but also solve the mystery of what happened to Madison’s father?

You probably read that plot description and thought to yourself, “That sounds like a typical Lifetime film.” And certainly, there is a bit of Lifetime to be found in this SyFy movie. Peter Sullivan has produced, written, and directed several films that have appeared on both SyFy and Lifetime. Haylie Duff is a regular Lifetime actress. For a financially struggling photographer, Claire certainly does live in a nice, big house, which is one of the most familiar signs that you might be watching Lifetime film.

However, make no doubt about it, this is definitely not a Lifetime film.

You see, the reason why Madison is a nightmare to deal with it is because she’s linked to a monster. The reason why Madison is an orphan is because the monster killed her father. And now that Madison is living with Claire, the monster is coming for both of them.

And what a monster! Seriously, the Sandman is about as frightening as a SyFy monster can get. As you can probably guess from the name, he’s made of sand. The best way to avoid him, of course, would be to go some place where there is no sand but good luck with that. SAND IS EVERYWHERE! The Sandman pops up whenever Madison is in danger.

Nosy neighbor wants to know about Madison’s father? Here comes the Sandman, pouring in through the kitchen faucet!

Hospital doctor planning on recommending that Madison be institutionalized? Sandman!

In fact, anyone who poses a threat to Madison, whether real or perceived, can expect a visit from the Sandman.

Tobin Bell plays Valentine, a government agent who thinks that Madison could be weaponized. He’s probably right but seriously, everyone should know better than to mess with the Sandman. That said, it’s always fun when Tobin Bell is in one of these movies. He’s just such a good villain.

The Sandman was a good mix of Lifetime family melodrama and SyFy horror. As the aunt and the seriously disturbed niece, Haylie Duff and Shae Smolik were believable and sympathetic and the Sandman made for a memorable monster. Watch this movie the next time you’re planning on spending a weekend at the beach.

Back to School #40: Better Off Dead (dir by Savage Steve Holland)

Posted on September 6, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

There’s something really sad about knowing that John Cusack does not like the 1985 teen comedy, Better Off Dead, despite the fact that he himself starred in the film.

Just how much he dislikes the film depends on who you talk to. I read an interview with the film’s director — the wonderfully named Savage Steve Holland — in which he said that Cusack approached him after a screening of the film and told him that he totally hated the film and would “never trust” Holland again. (What’s truly sad is that Holland also said that this encounter caused him to momentarily lose all interesting in film making.) However, a few years ago, Cusack said, while answering questions on Reddit, that he didn’t hate Better Off Dead, he just felt that it could be better and that he was glad that other people still like it. In another interview, Cusack said that the “absurdist humor” of Better Off Dead just wasn’t his thing.

John, I understand that you’re a serious actor and I’ve always had a lot of respect for the fact that you’re an outspoken liberal who is still intellectually honest enough to hold Obama up to the same standard to which you previously held Bush. But honestly, John, maybe you should loosen up just a little. Not all of your movies have to be The Butler! There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself onscreen. And there’s nothing wrong with entertaining an audience and leaving them happy. Better Off Dead may be one of more lightweight films that I’m reviewing for this Back to School series but it’s a lot of fun! It makes people smile. And you know what? A lot of those smiling people are going to be more willing to see you in a film like The Butler because they’ve also seen you in films like Better Off Dead.

Add to that, you give a pretty good performance in Better Off Dead. In fact, you provide the film with a much-needed center. A lot of the comedy in Better Off Dead may be absurd but John, your performance is so likable and so grounded that you keep the film from getting too weird. You do such a good job as Lane Myer and are so convincing as a well-meaning but dorky high school student who is trying to win back his ex-girlfriend (Amanda Wyss) by skiing down a mountain that it allows everyone else to be as weird as the film will allow. Without your excellent performance, John, the film would be a total mess.

Better Off Dead is essentially a collection of skits. There’s a plot but the plot is really only there as an excuse for the nonstop jokes. For instance, there’s Lane’s best friend, Charles (Curtis Armstrong, essentially playing the same character he played in Risky Business) who spends the entire film looking for things to snort and who, when standing atop of snowy mountain, says, “This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is!?”

And then there’s Monique (Diane Franklin), the foreign exchange student who lives next door to Lane and who pretends that she can’t speak English because she’s trying to avoid being set up with creepy Ricky Smith (Daniel Schneider).

There’s Lane’s mother (Kim Darby), who cooks some of the strangest looking meals ever seen in an American film. There’s also Lane’s younger brother, who never speaks but who knows how to build a laser gun. Even Lane’s father (David Ogden Stiers). who seems relatively normal, still manages to destroy the garage door.

There’s the fact that Lane’s romantic rival is named Roy Stalin (Aaron Dozier). Is that not just the perfect name for a villain?

There’s my favorite scene in the entire film, where a geometry teacher (Vincent Schiavelli) explains a complicated problem to his class and the class responds by cheering him along. “Who wants to come up here and solve the problem?” the teacher asks. The entire class raises their hands and goes, “Me!”

There’s quotable and memorable lines like: “I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I’m no dummy,” ” Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that,” and “Gee, I’m really sorry your mom blow up, Ricky.”

And, of course, there’s that paperboy who wants his two dollars…

Seriously, John, Better Off Dead might not be your favorite movie but it’s really not that bad!

Want to see just how not bad Better Off Dead really is? Watch it below!