Retro Television Review is where we analyze the shows from ago. NGL, I’m a fan of House. I know it seems like just yesterday that we were all watching House live or with our Tivos. Ah, the memories were like strawberry wine and Vicodin!

Hooray, this is the last episode directed by Bryan Singer. He was just awful at directing House episodes and by multiple accounts- he, he himself, was terrible. Multiple people have come forward about his lateness, unprofessional behavior, and causing me to go bald at 24. Why, Bryan?! Why?! I wondered why this episode was dragging and generally kind of boring. House was slower and morose – Bryan’s fault. The clinic B story didn’t move the plot along; they were just there to bore me – and me alone – Bryan’s fault. The deepest cut of all – I went bald- Thanks, Bryan!

Occam’s Razor features two college co-eds getting down and I mean knocking boots for way too long! This is supposed to be a teaser Bryan, not your chance to see a shirtless 20 year old… oh right! It really was all there waiting for us to recognize. Post-coital, the college kid gets really sick as in … a heart attack? I can’t really tell because it was directed so very badly! Thanks, Bryan!

Everyone accuses the boy of drug use, but he’s basically clean. Guess what, his symptoms don’t match drug use. What do they match? Gout medication poisoning, but everyone is convinced that House is wrong. Why exactly? Why does everyone assume that he’ll be wrong? I mean, he’s batting 1000 so far. The kid’s immune system shuts down and he has to get naked to go into a clean room. He got way too naked if you ask me- thanks, Bryan. Bryan, you really make it easy to put the pieces together.

The team checks the pharmacy where the college kid got cough medicine, but the pills seem to be just cough meds. I gotta say, So what? The symptoms match up and yes House is acting off today, but that’s because Bryan Singer is just really bad at directing television. Come on guys, give House a chance … and some Vicodin!

Eventually, they agree to treat for the gout medication poisoning and everything is fine, but then we have to sit through another 8 minutes of House obsessing over the meds to prove that he was right. If you want to do that Bryan, do it before the kid is well. Ugh Bryan, just go away.

Gotta say, not a big fan of this episode, but Bryan takes a backseat role in the show from here on out. Good riddance!