Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.17 and 4.18 “Time Heals”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

In this special two-part episode, 50 years of St. Elsewhere are documented in just two hours.

Episodes 4.17 and 4.18 “Time Heals”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on February 19th and February 20th, 1986)

Aired over two nights, “Time Heals” uses St. Eligius’s 50th anniversary to give us 50 years of history. While the staff prepares to observe half a century of serving Boston, the episode skips back and forth in time.

In 1935, a young and enthusiastic priest named Joseph McCabe (Edward Herrmann) prepares for the opening of a hospital that he hopes will serve the downtrodden and forgotten of Boston. Monsignor Senti (Norman Burton) views McCabe as a troublemaker. Meanwhile, a young Donald Westphall watches as his father helps bring a wounded man named Patrick O’Casey (William Russ) to the hospital. Later, Westphall’s sister and mother are killed in a house fire.

In 1945, a young liver specialist named Daniel Auschlander (James Stephens) is brought on staff and meets an angry teenage Donald Westphall (Michael Sharrett). Donald shines shoes in the hospital lobby. When Donald is caught stealing, Father McCabe takes him to the hospital’s gym and gives him a boxing lesson. As for Auschlander, he allows a returning serviceman named Patrick O’Casey to see his young daughter, who is suffering from polio and has been placed in an isolation ward.

In 1955, the Archdiocese sells the hospital to the city and Father McCabe is fired. McCabe gets drunk. Auschlander says that he intends to resign in protest. McCabe replies that that would be a mistake—Auschlander is the man McCabe has recommended as his replacement. Meanwhile, Patrick O’Casey’s daughter dies after spending ten years in an iron lung, and a cocky intern named Mark Craig (William Daniels, sans mustache) has a panic attack while performing his first operation. The demanding Dr. David Domedion (Jackie Cooper) orders Craig back into the operating room. Later, Craig tells another resident, Donald Westphall (Ed Flanders, his hair dyed black but still looking quite middle-aged), that he’s been offered a position at Boston General and will never return to St. Eligius.

In 1965, Dr. Craig returns to St. Eligius, bitter that he was passed over for chief of surgery at Boston General. While a young Luther Hawkins sits in the waiting room, a newly arrived nurse named Helen Eisenberg helps Dr. Westphall deal with Terence O’Casey (Brian Kerwin), a young man having a bad acid trip. “Get a haircut, hippie,” Dr. Craig says at one point.

In 1975, Terence O’Casey is back in the hospital, waiting as Dr. Craig performs open-heart surgery on his father, Patrick. Donald Westphall is appointed hospital administrator. The same night, his wife, Maureen (Anita Gillette), is in an auto accident that leaves her brain-dead. Westphall is the one who has to decide to remove her breathing tube and allow her to pass on.

In 1985, high school principal Terence O’Casey is brought to the hospital with sudden paralysis. His doctor, Jack Morrison, struggles to diagnose Terence’s condition until he goes down to the basement, looks through the earliest hospital records, and reads about Terence’s sister, who died in an iron lung. Jack diagnoses Terence with Guillain-Barré syndrome, a paralyzing condition that can resemble polio.

Meanwhile, Jack’s son, Pete, is apparently abducted by a man at the hospital. I say “apparently” because the plotline feels a bit underdeveloped. The episode ends with the police returning Pete to Jack during St. Eligius’s anniversary party. Pete seems to be physically unharmed, and we’re not really given any details as to who abducted him or how the police tracked him down.

The subplot featuring Morrison’s son being abducted is oddly undeveloped, but that’s really the only flaw to be found in “Time Heals.” This is not only a great episode of St. Elsewhere; it’s also one of the greatest episodes of television I’ve ever seen. That said, it isn’t just a great episode of television. It’s a great work of art, period, from the excellent performances to the way the episode seamlessly mixes the flashbacks so that they come together to tell one epic story of the 20th century. Featuring both the story of the hospital and the story of the O’Caseys, “Time Heals” is a portrait of how times change and how they remain the same.

A few random notes:

For those who think Dr. Craig is too hard on his residents, this episode shows that Craig’s mentor was equally hard on him, and that it helped turn Craig into the surgeon he is today. That said, it’s also amusing to see that young Mark Craig was just as obnoxious as Victor Ehrlich.

I’ve often complained about how depressed Westphall always seems to be. This episode shows that Westphall has a lot of reasons to be depressed. The man’s life has been one tragedy after another.

One cannot overlook the importance of the O’Caseys to this episode’s power. The O’Caseys represent the community St. Eligius is meant to serve. The hospital is part of the family’s life. History repeats itself throughout the O’Casey storyline. In 1935, Patrick O’Casey is injured and nearly killed in a fight. By 1945, he’s married and a member of the U.S. Army. In 1965, Patrick’s son, Terence, is a drug-abusing member of the counterculture. By 1985, he’s a conservative high school principal who has an estranged relationship with his gay son, Kevin (John Scott Clough). All of the male O’Caseys have more in common than they realize.

Each decade is shot in a different visual style, which helps us keep track of things. The 1935 scenes are shot in black and white. The 1945 scenes feature muted colors. As we move through time, the colors become clearer and more vibrant until we finally find ourselves in 1985.

“Time Heals” is touching, powerful, and even funny. It’s a true work of art.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Sledge Hammer! 1.7 “All Shook Up”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

Trust him.  He knows what he’s doing.

Episode 1.7 “All Shook Up”

(Dir by Jackie Cooper, originally aired on November 7th, 1986)

15 Elvis impersonators have been murdered in the city.  Doreau wonders how anyone can be so evil.  Sledge Hammer wonders about the person who draws the chalk outlines at crime scenes.  “What type of life is that?”

Captain Trunk, who spends this episode dealing with a migraine, is upset that there aren’t more clues as to the identity of the murderer.  Hammer suggests that it will be easier to solve the case once more Elvises have been murdered.  To Trunk’s disappointment, Hammer turns out to be right.  A woman witnesses the 16th murder and reports that the killer was not only dressed like Elvis but he was also carrying a golden microphone!

It’s time for Sledge Hammer to go undercover!  Doreau enrolls him in a school for Elvis impersonators and then accompanies him to the National Elvis Impersonator Semi-Finals.  The highlight of the episode is Sledge Hammer imitating Elvis.  He can’t do the voice and he can’t do the dance moves but he’s totally convincing when he draws a gun and shoots it.  Later, he shows off his karate moves and wins a trophy.

As for the murderer, he turns out to be the janitor (Raymond Ma) at the Elvis school.  He feels that he’s the best Elvis in the world.  Unfortunately, for him, he’s electrocuted when he accidentally holds his golden microphone too close to a live wire.  With the city safe for Elvis impersonators, Sledge announces that he’s going to Graceland.

This week’s episode was just ludicrous enough to work.  Between the Elvis puns and all of the bad singing and dancing, it kept me laughing (or, at the very least, smiling).  As usual, David Rasche’s enthusiastic performance more than made up for any jokes that didn’t quite land.  This was also a good episode for Anne-Marie Martin, who played Doreau’s relationship with Hammer with just the right combination of frustration and affection.

Sledge Hammer has left the building but he’ll be back next week.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Sledge Hammer! 1.3 “Witless”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

This week, Sledge meets the Maninotes.

Episode 1.3 “Witless”

(Dir by Jackie Cooper, originally aired on October 3rd, 1986)

Upset that crime has fallen in the city due to the insanity of just one cop, Don Phillip Souza (Al Ruscio) announces that he will pay a million dollars to anyone who can bring him Sledge Hammer in a box. When his accountant (Basil Hoffman) points out that a million dollars is a lot of money, Souza explains that he’s running a weekly special.

Fortunately for Sledge, it turns out that the city’s assassins are even dumber than he is. On his way to work, he has several close calls that he fails to notice. A knife is tossed at him but is blocked by his newspaper (which is extra thick because of the addition of several new Zodiac signs). Two hitmen accidentally shoot each other when he leans forward. Sledge spills his poisoned coffee before he can drink it. It’s not until he arrives at work and ends up juggling a lit stick of dynamite in Captain Trunk’s office that he realizes someone is after him.

Captain Trunk orders Hammer to hide out in the country. Unfortunately, the cop driving him explains that he has 12 kids and needs the money both to pay for their school and for a vasectomy. A struggle ends with Hammer getting tossed out of the car. He lands in a field, where he is discovered by farmer Jacob (Lewis Arquette) and his daughter, Isadora (Ann Ryerson).

Jacob and Isadora may ride in a buggy and eschew modern technology, but they’re not Amish. They’re not Mennonites either. Instead, they are Maninotes. Isadora insists that Hammer stay in their farmhouse until he recovers. Jacob insists that he do chores. Sledge milks a cow. Sledge tosses hay. Sledge tries and fails to build a barn.

As you probably already guessed, “Witless” is a parody of the 1985 film Witness. It’s definitely an affectionate parody. It doesn’t make fun of the movie so much as it imagines what would have happened if Harrison Ford’s sensitive and intelligent detective had been replaced by a trigger-happy lunatic. Sledge may be attracted to Isadora, but in the end his true love remains his gun. And when the assassins (led by the Don’s accountant) arrive at the farm, Jacob and Isadora appear with machine guns. When Hammer points out that Maninotes are supposed to be against violence, Jacob shrugs. “It’s the ’80s,” he says.

Eventually, Sledge gets in a box and has himself delivered to the Don so that he can collect the money. When Officer Doreau tells Sledge that he can’t take the money because it’s evidence, Sledge laughs and says that he won’t be pressing charges. Instead, he takes the money and gives it to Jacob and Isadora. Jacob says that he’s going to repair the barn and then buy a Porsche.

This is a hilarious episode, from the sight gags at the start to Sledge’s efforts to help out around the farm. The humor is cheerfully absurd. (At one point, when the accountant is slowly creeping up on Sledge, one of the other assassins walks up and takes his place so the accountant can take a break.) David Rasche plays Sledge with just the right amount of clueless enthusiasm. I laughed throughout. Sledge Hammer may be witless, but he’s also very funny.

Retro Television Review: The Night They Saved Christmas (dir by Jackie Cooper)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1984’s The Night They Saved Christmas!  It  can be viewed on Tubi and YouTube.

The Night They Saved Christmas argues that there are two types of people in the world.

There are people who still believe in Santa Claus and all that he represents and then there are the people who gave up their belief a long time ago.  Those who believe in Santa Claus are still full of the Christmas spirit and, under the right circumstances, they might even get to meet the elves and the jolly old man himself.  Those who do not believe are destined to waste their holiday on focusing on material things that aren’t really important.

Petroleum engineer Michael Baldwin (Paul Le Mat) doesn’t believe in Santa Claus and that’s why he had no trouble moving his entire family to the North Pole so that they could freeze while he headed up an oil exploration project.  Michael and his boss, billionaire Sumner Murdock (Mason Adams), are determined to find oil and they’ve got an endless supply of dynamite with which to search for it.

Michael’s wife, Claudia (Jaclyn Smith), still believes in the spirit of Santa and she encourages their children to believe as well.  For that reason, Ed the Elf (played by singer Paul Williams), is willing to take Claudia and the kids to North Pole City.  They get to meet Santa (Art Carney) and they even learn how Santa uses satellite technology to deliver presents all over the world.  The city is really quite impressive, with the movie making good use of matte paintings and miniatures to create the impression of a magical metropolis.  And Santa turns out to be a pretty nice guy, even if he does tell the elves that he’s sick of them singing Jingle Bells.

Unfortunately, North Pole City is in danger!  Every day, the oil company’s dynamite causes a mini-earthquake.  With the dynamiting getting closer and closer to North Pole City, Santa and the elves worry that they might be on the verge of getting blown up!  Can Claudia and the kids convince Michael to stop blowing up huge chunks of the North Pole before Christmas is ruined!?

Well, listen — I don’t think it’s a spoiler for me to tell you that Christmas is not ruined.  It would be pretty cynical for the movie to end with Michael blowing up Santa Claus and cynical is one thing that The Night They Saved Christmas is not.  This is a very earnest film, full of cheery elves, a paternal Santa, and lots of Christmas music.  Even greedy old Mr. Murdock turns out to be not that bad of a guy.  In the end, this film says that Santa and the spirit of Christmas is for everyone and that’s certainly not a bad message.  It’s a likeable movie for the holiday season and Art Carney is a perfect Santa Claus, even if he does appear to be a little underweight for the role.  As played by Carney, Santa is welcoming, good-humored, and still enthusiastic about his job, even after centuries of doing it.  He’s exactly the way you would want Santa to be.  This is a film that earns the right to wish everyone a merry Christmas!

Retro Television Review: The Astronaut (dir by Robert Michael Lewis)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1972’s The Astronaut!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

NASA has successfully landed a man on Mars!  The entire world watches as Col. Brice Randolph (Monte Markham) makes his way across the Martian surface.  However, suddenly, the signal goes out.  Viewers are assured that this is the sort of thing that happens all the time with interstellar travel.  What they don’t know is that the signal went down because Brice suddenly died.  While the surviving members of the mission return to Earth, NASA tries to figure out how to keep anyone from finding out what happened to Brice.  NASA director Kurt Anderson (Jackie Cooper) knows that the President wants to cut the budget and the death of an astronaut would probably provide the perfect excuse for taking money away from NASA and canceling the Mars program.

Anderson’s solution is to recruit a substitute.  Eddie Reese (Monte Markham) has a slight resemblance to Brice, one that can be perfected through plastic surgery.  While the mission returns from Mars, Eddie goes through a crash course to teach him how to talk, walk, and think like Col. Brice Randolph.  Eddie is told that he’ll have to be Brice until the NASA scientists can figure out what led to Brice’s death.  Once they do know what went wrong with the mission, Eddie will have to go into NASA’s version of the witness protection.

Eddie proves to be a quick learner and it helps that he, like so many others, looked up to Brice.  However, while Eddie can fool almost everyone else, he cannot fool Brice’s wife, Gail (Susan Clark).  When Eddie actually treats Gail with kindness and shows sympathy for her nervous condition, she realizes that there’s no way that Eddie is actually her husband.  Apparently, Brice was not quite the saintly figure that the public believed him to be.  Eddie and Gail soon fall in love for real but when NASA finally discovers what led to Brice’s death, it looks like their new life together might be over as abruptly as it begun.

The Astronaut is a low-key conspiracy …. well, I hesitate to call it a thriller.  There’s little of the things that one typically associated with a conspiracy thriller.  There’s no black helicopters.  There’s no shadowy assassins.  There’s no army of men walking around in black suits.  Instead, there’s just a bunch of nervous bureaucrats who are desperate to keep the rest of the world from discovering just how much they screwed up.  As played by Jackie Cooper, the head of NASA isn’t so much evil as he’s just way too devoted-to-his-job for his own good.  In many ways, this is probably one of the most realistic conspiracies ever portrayed on film.

In the end, The Astronaut is a portrait of two lonely people who find love in the strangest of circumstances.  Susan Clark and Monte Markham make for a likable couple and the viewer really does hope that things will work out for them.  What this film lack in conspiracy thrills, it makes up for in human drama.  It appealed to both my romantic and my rabid anti-government sides.  What more could one ask?

Retro Television Reviews: The Day The Earth Moved (dir by Robert Michael Lewis)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s The Day The Earth Moved!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Sitting in the middle of the Nevada desert, there’s a town called Bates.

Bates was once a thriving community but the years and the hot Nevada winds have not been kind to it.  Now, it consists of only a  few buildings and a speed trap.  Judge Tom Backsler (William Windom) is the most powerful man in this tiny community and he’s determined to return Bates to its former glory.  His plan is to open up a Christmas park and to remake Bates as “Santa Claus’s home away from the North Pole.”  In order to raise the money for that project, he and the police run an aggressive speed trap.  When pilot and photographer Steve Barker (Jackie Cooper) is caught in the speed trap, it turns out that he doesn’t have enough money to pay his fine.  So, his car is impounded and he’s put to work, sweeping up the dust and helping to get the Christmas park ready to open.

With the help of friendly little townsgirl, Steve is finally able to escape from Bates and return to his job.  He works with his wife, Kate (Stella Stevens), and his best friend, Harley (Cleavon Little), as surveyors.  When someone wants to buy a stretch of the Nevada desert, Steve and Harley fly over the land and take pictures.  Looking over the latest batch of pictures, Steve deduces that not only is there going to be an earthquake but it’s going to destroy the town of Bates!  Can Steve return to the town that once held him prisoner and convince the townspeople to leave with him before disaster hits!?

In many ways, The Day The Earth Moved is a standard made-for-TV disaster flick.  Only Steve and Kate realize what’s about to happen and they struggle to get anyone else to believe them.  Indeed, it seems like the world is almost conspiring to keep them from warning everyone about the incoming earthquake.  The film’s story checks off all of the expected disaster movie plot points.  That said, the town of Bates itself — with its gigantic Santa Claus standing in the middle of the desert — is a nicely surreal location and the repeated shots of a deserted farm being gradually destroyed by minor tremors achieve a certain ominous grandeur.  Jackie Cooper and Stella Stevens are believable as a husband and wife who love each other despite the fact that they’re often very annoyed with each other.  To the film’s credit, William Windom’s character is not portrayed as being a cardboard villain but instead as someone who simply wants to give his neighbors some place decent to live.  The Day The Earth Moved is predictable but well-done.

Of course, the main reason anyone will have to watch this film will be for the earthquake.  Unfortunately, this is where viewers will run into a common problem that has afflicted many made-for-TV movies.  The low-budget earthquake is just not that impressive.  For all the scenes of people yelling, it’s always pretty obvious that the camera is doing most of the shaking.  But you know what?  It’s a made-for-TV movie from 1974.  Cut it some slack and just go with it.

Horror On TV: Ghost Story 1.9 “Cry of the Cat” (dir by Arnold Laven)


On tonight’s episode of Ghost Story, a rodeo is terrorized by a series of cougar attacks.  Could it have anything to do with the cat-like wife of rodeo star Doug McClure?

This episode originally aired on November 24th, 1972 and it is kind of silly but …. hey, it’s Doug McClure.  It doesn’t get more early 70s than Doug McClure.

Enjoy!

Cleaning Out The DVR: Boy of the Streets (dir by William Nigh)


Welcome to New York City, circa 1937!

It’s a place where the extremely wealthy carefully avoid the districts dominated by the extremely poor, like the Bowery.  In the Bowery, families live in tenements and worried mothers can only cry as they watch their sons join street gangs and their daughters settle for a life of abuse and loss.  Sure, there’s a few do-gooders.  Occasionally, there’s a cop who is convinced that no boy is a lost cause.  Sometimes, you’ll run into a doctor who is determined to provide adequate medical care to the inhabitants of the Bowery.  In fact, you might even see a rich person who is determined to spread about some charity.  But, for the most pat, life in the Bowery is just one hopeless day after another.

14 year-old Chuck Brennan (Jackie Cooper) lives in the Bowery.  He’s got a gang of boys who will do anything that he tells them to do and, despite the fact that Chuck is obviously smarter than almost everyone else around him, he has no interest in being a role model or decent citizen or anything else of that matter.  Chuck lives in a shabby apartment with his mother (Marjorie Main) and his father (Guy Usher).  Chuck looks up to his father who apparently knows important people and is often out of town on “business.”  However, when Chuck discovers that his father is actually a low-level hood who works for the local political machine, Chuck is not only disillusioned but also inspired to go find some gangsters to team up with himself.

The system says that Chuck is a hopeless case but not everyone agree.  Officer Rourke (Robert Emmett O’Connor) thinks that there’s hope for Chuck, he just needs something or someone to straighten him out.  (Like maybe a stint in the Navy….)  And then there’s Nora (Maureen O’Connor), the sweet Irish girl who lives in Chuck’s building and who is often heard singing to her deathly ill mother.

In the end, it’s all up to Chuck.  Will he pursue a life of crime or the life of an honest man?  Will he be a man like his father or will he end the cycle of crime and desperation?

Boy of the Streets is a low-budget, black-and-white film from 1937.  It was produced by Monogram Pictures and, much like Dead End (which came out the same year and featured a superficially similar storyline), it’s a film that mixes social commentary with a bit of gangster action.  The film’s low-budget doesn’t do it any favors and there’s nothing particularly surprising to be found in the film’s plot but child actor Jackie Cooper is convincingly cocky as the swaggering Chuck and Marjorie Main does a good job as his anguished mother.  (Interestingly, Main also played Humphrey Bogart’s mother in Dead End.)

Boy of the Streets is a good example of a film that I never would have seen if not for TCM.  (I recorded it off of TCM way back in June.)  That’s one reason why I’ll always be thankful for TCM.  At a time when so many people seem to be determined to destroy history, TCM is celebrating it.

Yo-Ho-Hollywood!: TREASURE ISLAND (MGM 1934)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

Robert Louis Stevenson’s  venerable 1883 adventure novel TREASURE ISLAND has been filmed over 50 times throughout the years, beginning with a 1918 silent version. There was a 1920 silent starring Charles Ogle (the original screen FRANKENSTEIN monster!) as that dastardly pirate Long John Silver, a 1972 adaptation with Orson Welles, a 1990 TV Movie headlined by Charlton Heston, and even a 1996 Muppet version! Most movie buffs cite Disney’s 1950 film as the definitive screen TREASURE ISLAND, with Bobby Driscoll as young Jim Hawkins and Robert Newton as Long John (and Newton would go on to star in the TV series LONG JOHN SILVER, practically making a career out of playing the infamous fictional buccaneer), but…

…a case can certainly be made for MGM’s star-studded 1934 interpretation of the story, teaming Wallace Beery and Jackie Cooper as Long John and Jim. This was the first talking TREASURE ISLAND, and the…

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40 Years of SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE (Warner Brothers 1978)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

Unlike today, when superheroes dominate at the box office and your local multiplex, costumed crusaders were dead as the proverbial doornail in theaters of the 1970’s. The last was 1966’s BATMAN, at the height of the camp craze, but after that zer0… zilch… nada. I didn’t care; my comic book reading days were pretty much at an end by 1978, driven away by other distractions, like making money, girls, beer, and girls. I had moved on.

But when Warner Brothers announced they were making a new, big budget Superman movie, I was intrigued. I’d always loved the old 50’s TV series starring George Reeves as the Man of Steel, corny as it was, and with a cast featuring Marlon Brando , Gene Hackman , and Glenn Ford , not to mention that girl from Brian DePalma’s SISTERS as Lois Lane, I wanted to see this new version. I also wanted…

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