Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.14 “Country Blues/A Matter of Taste/Frat Brothers Forever”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Adam’s old fraternity brother takes a cruise.  He’s got a secret!

Episode 8.14 “Country Blues/A Matter of Taste/Frat Brothers Forever”

(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on December 8th, 1984)

Simon (Farley Granger) and Valerie (Terry Moore) used to be lovers but now, they’re rival interior designers.  They are competing for the chance to redesign that ship’s cabins and, of course, they both end up sabotaging each other.  The Captain grows so frustrated that he decides that the cabins are fine just the way they are and I agree.  The cabins are functional and bland and they encourage the passengers to spend most of their time in either the lounge or at the pool.  As for Simon and Valerie, they realize that they’re still in love.  It’s a win-win-win for everyone.

Country singer Billy Bodine (Matt McCoy) falls in love with Arlene Cort (Leah Ayres), little realizing that she’s been bribed by his manager, Cappy (Claude Akins), to break his heart.  Billy writes his most popular songs when he’s depressed.  After she lies to him about having another lover, Arlene feels terrible, especially after she learns that she’s inspired Billy to write not just one but two songs about how heartbroken he is.  Arlene wants to come lean but, if Arlene confesses, she’ll lose her chance to be on the big Kenny Rogers television special.  Of course, Arlene does confesse.  Love is more important than Kenny.  Billy fires Cappy.  Cappy doesn’t care.  Cappy announces that he’s going to go into the pickle-selling business and make a million dollars.  Arlene finds love but she does lose her chance to be a big TV star.  So, this one is a win-lose-win.

Finally, Adam’s old frat brother, Buzz (Roy Thinnes), boards the ship with Jim Dolan (Michael McGrady).  Buzz says that Jim is his cousin.  Adam promises to find dates for both Buzz and Jim.  Uhmm, Adam, I don’t think Buzz and Jim are interested in the same dates that you are.

This was the first and only episode of The Love Boat to feature a gay couple and, to my surprise, their story was actually handled with a good deal of sensitivity.  Buzz fears that Adam won’t accept that he’s gay but he also doesn’t want to spend the entire cruise living a lie.  (Adam keeps trying to set Buzz and Jim up with every single woman on the cruise.)  When Buzz does come out to Adam, Adam is surprised but accepting.  I appreciated that this episode allowed Adam to have a realistic reaction to Buzz coming out as opposed to turning Adam into some sort of idealized perfect best friend.  Instead, Adam has the reaction that you would expect a good-hearted but old-fashioned boomer to have.  He’s surprised and, briefly, at a loss for words.  The fact that Adam does then accept Buzz for who he is and apologizes for his earlier surprise shows that people can continue to grow and learn, regardless of how old they may be.

Two of the stories were silly but the third one made up for them.  This wasn’t a bad cruise.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.12 “The Boom Boom Womb”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, St. Elsewhere gets topical.

Episode 4.12 “The Boom Boom Womb”

(Dir by Nicholas Mele, originally aired on January 8th 1986)

When Elliot’s car gets stuck in the snow, Luther offers to help in return for Elliot looking after Luther’s homing pigeon. Elliot, whose father was a veterinarian, agrees. Unfortunately, when Elliot attempts to turn his sink into a birdbath, the pigeon is electrocuted after it accidentally pulls an electric shaver into the water. Elliot originally tells Luther that the bird flew out a window and then froze to death on the windowsill. Luther accepts the story. A guilt-ridden Elliot later tells Luther the truth, and Luther shoves him to the ground.

Watching this storyline, I thought about how bad I always feel for Luther. In many ways, he’s the smartest guy on the show. He’s certainly the most compassionate and the least judgmental. (Yes, he pushed Elliot, but Elliot did lie to him about how the bird died.) And yet, because he didn’t grow up rich, Luther is stuck working as an orderly, and the doctors frequently seem to look down on him.

While Elliot’s lying to Luther, Helen Rosenthal is trying to figure out why her youngest son, Jeff (Ina Fried), keeps acting out in school and at home.  She even takes him to see St. Eligius’s staff psychiatrist, Dr. Weiss (Philip Sterling).  Dr. Weiss’s diagnosis is that Helen’s son is basically growing up to be a jerk.

As for the rest of the episode, it was all about current events, 1986-style. Pru (Amanda Wyss), the developmentally challenged teenager who got pregnant during her last hospital visit, has an abortion even though she doesn’t know what that means. Dr. Morrison struggles to reconcile his pro-life beliefs with his job as a doctor. Dr. Ehrlich, who has no beliefs, performs the operation. Meanwhile, a bomber (Rob Garrison) blows up the Boston Women’s Clinic and, as the episode ends, is seen sneaking a bomb into St. Eligius.

This is typically the type of storyline that would feature Westphall wandering around glumly. Westphall, however, is busy at a hearing to determine whether his housekeeper, Morena (Edith Diaz), will be deported back to El Salvador. Westphall is worried about her being deported because she’s so good with Tommy. In other words, this is yet another example of Westphall making someone else’s problem all about himself.

This episode was a bit too heavy-handed for my tastes, but I did appreciate that Dr. Morrison was at least not portrayed as a monster for his views. When it comes to being heavy-handed, the New Amsterdam episode that aired in 2022 and dealt with Roe v. Wade being overturned will always be the champion. That episode featured a slow-motion montage of people staring at their phones, dropping their coffee cups, and, in one case, running down a street. (“Maybe she’s running to the clinic to get an abortion while she still can,” Erin said when we saw the opening of the episode.) Compared to that, this episode of St. Elsewhere is actually pretty even-handed.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.10 “Loss of Power”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the lights go out.

Episode 4.10 “Loss of Power”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)

Due to a blizzard, the power has gone down in Boston. At St. Eligius, the backup generator comes to a sputtering and unreliable life. Over the course of the night shift, many things happen in the dark.

Dr. Craig successfully performs lifesaving surgery without being able to use any of the tools that surgeons have come to take for granted. After the grueling operation is completed, he leaves the ER without thanking anyone else. Dr. Wade chases after him and tells him that he should have at least told everyone that they did a good job. Dr. Craig replies that everyone did their job like they were supposed to. Just the fact that he allows them into his operating room should be thanks enough.

Pru Dowler (Amanda Wyss), the developmentally challenged teenager who was caught having sex in her hospital room a few episodes ago, returns with her mother (Terrence O’Connor). Pru has been having stomach pains and morning sickness. After Dr. Morrison confirms that Pru is pregnant, her mother says that Pru will be having an abortion. Morrison tries to talk her out of it, to no avail.

Working at the nurses’ station, Helen Rosenthal gets a summons to appear in court. Lucy is suing over the incident in which Helen slapped her.

Fiscus and Mona have sex in the hospital and, when Fiscus proposes, Mona accepts.

Elliott treats a patient who claims that he’s going to turn into either a vampire or a werewolf at midnight. Elliott thinks that the man belongs in the psych ward, but then he discovers that the man is actually suffering from a real condition that makes it difficult for him to go out during the day. The man spent so much time being made fun of for his nocturnal lifestyle that he eventually decided that he really was a vampire.

And finally, Dr. Westphall is stuck in an elevator with a claustrophobic man (Michael Des Barres) who is also named Donald. Stuck in an elevator with a stranger, Westphall does what he always does. He uses the situation as an excuse to start talking about the volunteer work he did in Ethiopia and how disappointed he is that everyone doesn’t share his attitude when it comes to community outreach. The other Donald responds by talking about the time he was thrown in jail for marijuana possession. Eventually, the other Donald dislocates his shoulder when he throws himself against the elevator doors.

Seriously, can you think of anything worse than being stuck in an elevator with Donald Westphall? Westphall is already one of the most depressing people on the planet. Now imagine being trapped in a confined space with him. Once again, this episode proves that Westphall can take any situation and turn it into a lesson about how he’s right and everyone else is wrong.

That said, I liked this episode. It reminded me of the season-one episode that featured a small group of doctors working the night shift. It was interesting to see how everyone adjusted to the darkness. This was a workplace episode in which we watched as everyone did their best under less than ideal conditions. In the end, it was obvious that Dr. Craig was correct.

His people are the best.

It would just be nice if he would let them know that once in a while.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.9 “Sanctuary”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, Westphall finds something else to feel depressed about.

Episode 4.9 “Sanctuary”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on December 4th, 1985)

Dr. Ehrlich has been demoted to gynecology, the department he most fears. He even begs Dr. Caldwell to allow him to return to plastic surgery, but Caldwell has no sympathy for him. Caldwell tells Ehrlich that he’s a loser and that he’ll always be a loser.

Well, Ehrlich may be a loser, but he also helps deliver a baby in this episode and learns that he can actually get through the day without offending someone. Bobby Caldwell, on the other hand, makes a joke about Lucy’s breasts in front of a patient and ends up getting reported for sexual harassment. When Lucy points out to Auschlander that Caldwell’s statement was both demeaning and uttered in front of a patient, Caldwell argues that Lucy is taking things too personally and that he was just joking. (Ugh. Every woman has had a Bobby Caldwell in her life.) Auschlander asks Lucy to leave the room and then tells Bobby that if he ever makes another joke like that, he’ll be fired. While it’s good that Auschlander makes it clear that Bobby’s conduct was unprofessional, sending Lucy out of the room beforehand only leaves her feeling more isolated. Auschlander is willing to reprimand Caldwell, but only in private, a consideration that Bobby wasn’t willing to show Lucy.

Lucy is angry, and it doesn’t help that Nurse Rosenthal essentially says that Lucy only has herself to blame for being too flirtatious with the doctors in the past. Oh God, this episode was not easy for me to watch. I used to work as an administrative assistant. My boss was a good guy who always treated me with respect. (It undoubtedly helped that he was a good friend of my mom’s and we had more of a father/daughter relationship than a standard boss/employee relationship.) However, I lost track of the number of other men who would tell me that they appreciated it whenever I wore a skirt or who would hang out at my desk and watch whenever I had to lean forward for any particular reason. I would smile and say something silly in response because that just seemed like the easiest way to deal with things. The other women who worked in the building always told me that I should “dress down,” but I didn’t want to do that. I just wanted to be myself.

Meanwhile, Dr. Fiscus loses a patient, a homeless man (Mark Casella) who once helped Fiscus move. Before the man dies, he sees an Egyptian sarcophagus being X-rayed and comments on how people still remember the rulers of ancient Egypt but no one is going to remember him. After he dies, Fiscus and his girlfriend, X-ray technician Mona Polita (Leah Ayres), wrap the man’s body and put him in an empty sarcophagus.

Finally, Westphall’s new housekeeper, Morena (Edith Diaz), is rushed to the ER with back pain. With the help of Dr. Morrison (who speaks fluent Spanish as a result of attending a South American medical school), Westphall learns that Morena was tortured in her native El Salvador. As usual, Dr. Westphall makes Morena’s tragedy all about himself by using her as an example of why the hospital needs to adopt Westphall’s plans to reach out to the community.

The next day, Westphall snaps at the residents about their lack of community spirit. Fiscus finally snaps that he’s sick of being lectured by Westphall and leaves the room. Good for Fiscus! Seriously, Westphall’s self-righteousness has been unbearable this season. Just because Westphall can’t figure out how to communicate with his autistic son, he’s been making everyone else’s life miserable.

This was another rather sad episode of St. Elsewhere. There’s not much happiness to be found in St. Eligius. That said, Lucy’s storyline was touching and also a reminder that, in some ways, 2026 is not that different from 1985. And I was glad that the poor homeless man was given a burial fit for a king. If nothing else, Fiscus will never forget him.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.13 “Championship Jinx”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, season 3 comes to an end.

Episode 3.13 “Championship Jinx”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 16th, 1987)

Things have a way of working themselves out on 1st & Ten, especially when the season ends and a lot of plotlines need to be hastily wrapped up.

Last week, TD Parker (OJ Simpson) was arrested under suspicion of ticket scalping.  This episode, it turned out that 1) ticket scalping isn’t illegal and 2) TD’s ex-mistress quickly figured out that her boyfriend was trying to frame him.  Someone trying to frame OJ Simpson!?  Like anyone would ever buy that.  Anyway, the main theme here seemed to be that it was a good thing TD cheated on his wife because otherwise, no one would have been around to exonerate him.

Last week, Yinessa was letting fame go to his head.  This week, his father died and the funeral was a media circus.  Yinessa decided to focus on playing football. That’s a good thing, seeing as how the Bulls had yet another championship game coming up.

Zagreb was concerned that he was a jinx after he appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated.  (Yinessa told him that players who appeared on the cover often lost the spark afterwards.) Luckily, Cliff and Jethro brought in a voodoo priestess (Roxie Roker) to exorcise the jinx.

Before the game, Jill told the team that they weren’t only playing for themselves.  They were playing for the memory of Tom Yinessa’s father.  Unfortunately, the Bulls lost the game at the last minute when Billy Cooper’s game-winning catch was reviewed by the booth and declared to be out of bounds.  So, I guess Yinessa’s father is in Hell now.

And so ends the rather odd third season.  Coach Denardo left after the first episode.  Delta Burke left about halfway through the season, just to be replaced by a new female owner who gave a pre-game speech that referred to all of the previous times she had gone to the Championship Game with the Bulls just to see them lose, despite the fact that she wasn’t even a part of the show’s cast during the previous two seasons.  The season began with a player dying of steroid abuse and ended with OJ Simpson proving his innocence.  Oh!  And Zagreb discovered his father was a CIA agent and then he got married.

Was it a good season?  Not really.  This isn’t a good show.  But season 3 was definitely a lot stranger than the previous two seasons and that’s definitely a point in 1st & Ten‘s favor.

Next week, we start season 4!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.12 “Of Scalpers and Superstars”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, OJ’s in trouble!

Episode 3.12 “Of Scalpers and Superstars”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 9th, 1987)

O.J. Simpson gets arrested!

Okay, technically, OJ Simpson is not the one being arrested.  He’s just playing TD Parker, the Bulls’s general manager.  TD is the one who is arrested at the end of this episode after being framed for stealing 5,000 ticket to the Championship Game and selling to a ticket scalper.  Still, as is so often the case with this show, the casting of OJ Simpson does bring a while new layer to the action of meaning to the action onscreen.

Who framed TD?  The answer is Dolph Crane (Forry Smith), a former player who was cut from the team.  Dolph has never appeared on the show before but, judging from what TD says when he sees Dolph hanging around the stadium, it seems that Dolph was cut last season.  One of the things that I’ve noticed about 1st & Ten is that new characters will often pop up out of nowhere and people will act as if they’ve been there the whole time.  Dolph appears to be one of those pop-up character.  Dolph mentions that he’s now dating TD’s former mistress.  Dolph and the owner of Arizona’s team are the ones who conspire to take out TD.  Hopefully, they didn’t plant a bloody glove anywhere in the office.

The Bulls are going to the Championship Game …. again!  Maybe they’ll actually win this time.  This is their third trip to the game, after all.  It’ll be kind of sad if they win without Coach Denardo, though.  Coach Grier just isn’t as much fun as foul-mouthed Ernie Denardo.

The entire team gets mad at Yinessa.  After getting injured during a game, he decides that he needs to make as much money as possible so he allows his agent (Bobby Hosea) to promote him as being the “star” of the team.  The rest of the team feels that isn’t fair.  The thing is, though …. Yinessa is kind of the star.  He’s the quarterback.  If he has a bad day, the team doesn’t win.  The Bulls are a bunch of crybabies.  When they find out that a team music video is being reimagined as a Yinessa music video, they literally look like they’re about to break down in tears.  No wonder they always lose the Championship Game.

This episode ended wth the Bulls heads to the Championship and OJ heading to jail.  That seems about right.  Good luck to the team!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.11 “Land of the Free (Agent)”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

The playoffs continue!

Episode 3.11 “Land of the Free (Agent)”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 2nd, 1987)

The Bulls are in the playoffs but they need a new running back.  Jill decides to sign Brian Bozworth (Brian Bosworth), a player who was drafted by Arizona but who refused to sign his contract because he felt he wasn’t being offered enough money.  TD Parker (OJ Simpson) tells Jill that it would be highly irregular for the Bulls to sign Bozworth because, technically, he still “belongs” to Arizona.  Jill tells TD to take a knife to the rules and sign Bozworth.

And it’s a good thing that she did because, after some opening jitters, Bozworth plays a key role in getting the Bulls a win over Arizona in the playoffs.  Recognizing what the Arizona defense is going to do, he gives Yinessa a heads up.  Yinesa throws Bozworth the ball, Bozworth gets the Bulls into good field position, and Zagreb kicks the game-winning field goal.

Zagreb is only able to make that kick because Mad Dog lied to him and told him that Anna had called and agreed to marry him.  The next day, at the wedding ceremony, Anna is a no-show.  Or, at least, she is until Mad Dog breaks into her house, forces her to put on a wedding gown, and then carries her to the ceremony.  She arrives just in time to hear Zagreb giving a speech about how much he loves her.  Anna and Zagreb marry.

Finally, Jethro is upset when Bubba is offered a commercial contract with Squelch Sports Drink.  Squelch doesn’t want Jethro in its commercials.  But when Bubba can’t find the strength to lift a drum of Squelch and pour it over Coach Grier’s head, his contact is canceled.

This was a weird episode.  A lot of stuff was going on but none of it really added up too much.  At first, Bozworth seemed like a bad player and then, suddenly, he was a good player.  Jethro and Bubba were arguing and then suddenly they weren’t.  Zagreb got married and good for him.  Zagreb is perhaps the most cartoonish character on the show but then again, 1st & Ten is rather cartoonish in general.

Anyway, the Bulls are one step closer to the Championship Game.  We’ll see if they make it next week.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.16 “The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the ship is a casino!

Episode 7.16 “The Buck Stops Here/For Better or Worse/Bet on It”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 14th, 1984)

It’s a gambling cruise!

Of course, it’s all for charity.  The Love Boat has been turned into a floating casino but all of the money that the passengers lose will be donated to the Flanders Hospital.  Florence Flanders (Celeste Holm) is yet another old friend’s Captain Stubing’s and he’s happy to welcome her aboard.  He is less happy to see Florence’s ne’er-do-well brother, Frank (Richard Jaeckel).  Frank is in debt to another passenger, Al Dixon (Richard Ponzini).  Frank is willing to cheat and steal to get the money to pay off Al.  When Stubing calls Frank out on it, Frank threatens to reveal that Florence’s deceased husband had a mistress.

One of the people cheated by Frank is newlywed Nancy Sidon (Leah Ayres), who is upset about the prospect of having to move in with her in-laws.  Her husband, Stewart (Shea Farrell), says that it’s perfectly normal to move back in with your parents after you get married.  He also doesn’t want Nancy gambling.  When Nancy loses all of her money, she fears that she’s going to lose Stewart as well.  Fortunately, Frank has a change of heart and returns all of the money that he stole.  Not only has Nancy avoided divorce but she now has enough that she and Stewart won’t have to move in with the in-laws.

Meanwhile, Michael Borden (McClean Stevenson) is carrying a very valuable silver dollar with him.  When Sally (Jo Ann Pflug) accidentally puts the silver dollar in a slot machine, Michael has a near breakdown.  He obsessively pulls on the lever, hoping to win back his silver dollar.  Soon, he’s broke.  However, Sally puts her final dollar in the slot machine, pulls the lever, and hit the jackpot.  Michael wins back his silver dollar and he also finds love.  To be honest, Sally could do better.

This was a rather low-key and almost moody episode.  The laugh track was notably muted.  On the one hand, the show celebrated gambling for charity.  On the other hand, nearly everyone’s life was ruined in the casino.  Richard Jaeckel gave a good performance as the conflicted Frank.  Not giving a good performance was McClean Stevenson, who came across as being so cranky and whiny that I found myself hoping he would never win back his silver dollar.

This cruise did not hit the jackpot for me.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.10 “Blood on Blood”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, 1st & Ten gets serious.

Episode 3.10 “Blood on Blood”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on November 27th, 1987)

The Bulls are going to the playoffs!  It’s not because they’ve had a particularly good season.  It’s just that their division rival, Denver, lost a game and that narrowly allowed the Bulls to sneak their way into the postseason.  Coach Grier yells at all the players for celebrating.  He tells them that they have nothing to be happy about.

Well, Zagreb has something to be happy about.  The Bulgarian kicker is about to get married to Anna (Valerie Landsburg) so that he can avoid being deported.  However, at the wild bachelor party that Jethro throws for him, Zagreb strips down to his underwear and dances with a stripper.  Anna happens to show up and she calls off the wedding.  The next day, Jill tells Zagreb that the State Department is no longer trying to deport him.  It turns out that Zagreb’s father was not a communist official but instead a double agent!  (Zagreb says that he read the Communist Manifesto a hundred times for nothing.)  Zagreb no longer has to get married to stay in the country.  Except, now, Zagreb wants to get married….

Meanwhile, Billy Cooper gets his brother, Michael (Linden Ashby), a job as an assistant equipment manager.  Mike has just gotten out of prison.  He was serving time for armed robbery.  When things turn up missing in the locker room, Mike is the number one suspect.  TD Parker (played by OJ Simpson) fires him.  Just imagine getting accused and then fired by OJ Simpson!  Mike is not happy.

Later, Bubba catches another equipment manager stealing from the locker room.  Realizing that Mike was innocent, TD and Billy drive out to the liquor store where Mike is now working.  They hire Mike back.  Yay!  I love it when people get a second chance.  We’d have a lot less crime in this country if people were willing to take a chance on folks like Mike, who made a mistake but who sincerely want to turn their lives around.  Good for TD!  Good for Billy!  Good for America….

Of course, as soon as TD and Billy leave, two bikers rob the liquor store and shoot Mike dead.

Wow, this was a dark episode.  I appreciated the fact that the show attempted to take a serious look at the struggle that someone like Mike would face upon reentering society.  That said, the liquor store shooting happened so abruptly that it felt almost like a parody of a melodrama.  Much like the player dying of steroid abuse earlier in the season, this was the type of big dramatic moment that 1st & Ten didn’t really have the gravitas to pull off.

Next week, the Bulls continue to try to make it to the Championship for the third year in a row!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 3.9 “Call to the Hall”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Uh-oh.  This episode features OJ Simpson doing the real acting.

Episode 3.9 “Call For The Hall”

(Directed by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on November 4th, 1987)

TD Parker (played by OJ Simpson) has a lot to deal with this week!

The team’s running back has been injured.  Buffalo is willing to trade their running back in return for Bubba Kincaid!  Nobody wants to say goodbye to Bubba.  He’s the heart of the team.  He’s the team “poobah,” which means that he gets to wear a stupid horned helmet whenever he’s at that team bar.  But the Bulls need a running back.  TD is the one who has to tell Bubba that he’s been traded.  Jethro is named the new team poobah.  Bubba’s wife is not happy about moving to Buffalo because it’s too cold up north.  Fortunately, it turns out that Buffalo’s running back has also been injured and the trade is canceled.  Bubba is staying!

TD has also been voted into the football hall of fame.  Should he take his wife and son to the ceremony or should he bring his mistress?  TD can’t decide, even though it seems like kind of an obvious decision.  Still, TD has to go to the team owner for advice and he is shocked when she reveals that she and everyone else know about TD’s new relationship.

Sorry, TD — everyone knows!

The team owner says that he should probably bring his wife, if just for the sake of appearances.  TD then plays basketball with his son and apologizes for not being a better father.  This leads to a line of dialogue that so totally epitomizes how much times have changed that it really should be put in a museum.

OJ Simpson apologizes for not being more like Bill Cosby.  I think that pretty much sums up this show’s entire third season.

In the end, TD does not take his mistress to the Hall of Fame.  But it doesn’t appear that his family attends either.  TD gives a speech, thanking his wife and son.  Awwww.

This episode features a lot of OJ Simpson acting.  As an actor, OJ was mild, bland, and likable.  He delivered his lines smoothly but with little sincerity.  Of course, nowadays, it’s impossible to listen to him speak without searching for a hidden meaning between the lines.  As I watched this episode, I found myself thinking, “Do not make him mad, do not make him mad….”

There was one other storyline in this episode.  Dr. Death and Mad Dog stole Coach Grier’s pet mouse.  The mouse died.  Dr. Death and Mad Dog had to run up and down the stadium stairs as a punishment.  The laugh track insists that all of this is funny but I had to disagree.  Killing pets is never a good look.

This episode was a lot like OJ’s acting — mild and bland.  Unlike OJ, it won’t be getting voted into the Hall of Fame anytime soon.