Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.21 “Murder, She Rote”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, we’ve got a great episode of St. Elsewhere.

Episode 3.21 “Murder, She Rote”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on February 27th, 1985)

This week, Mrs. Hufnagle dies!

  • After spending the entire season getting on the nerves of the doctors and the nurses, Mrs. Hufnagle died in this episode.  She is found dead and apparently crushed in her bed.  (Hufnagle could never figure out how to properly lower and raise the front and back of it.  In this episode, it appears that she raised both at the same time.)  “Hufnagle in a half-shell,” Ehrlich says.  Meanwhile, the perpetually angry Nurse Lucy (Jennifer Savidge) blames herself for not responding when Hufnagle was desperately pushing her help button.  Gee, Lucy, you think?  Isn’t it your job to respond?
  • Now, I should note that this episode features both Westphall and Craig calling out the doctor for the treatment that Hufnagle received.  Both let it be known that doctors can’t just take care of the likable patients.  Everyone who enters the hospital deserves quality care.
  • What did Hufnagle die of?  That’s what Craig is determined to find out.  His first instinct is to blame Ehrlich.  Then he tried to blame Kochar (former serious regular Kavi Raz, making a guest appearance).  He tries to blame the nurses.  But, in the end, Craig examines his notes from Hufnagle’s heart surgery and he discovers that he’s the one who made a mistake.
  • In a wonderfully acted moment, Craig tells the residents that the mistake was his.  William Daniels does an excellent job of showing that Craig, for all of his arrogance, is not one to shirk responsibility.  When he explains how he made the mistake that led to Hufnagle’s death, it’s a brave moment for both the character and the actor.
  • That said, Craig is lucky Hufnagle didn’t have a family or he would definitely be getting sued.

While Hufnagle died, Shirley Daniels returned to the ER:

  • Given that Shirley has confessed to killing Peter White (even though she hasn’t gone to trial yet), clearing her to work at a hospital seems …. odd.  That said, a psychiatrist says that Shirley is not a threat to others and Auschlander seems to be oddly eager for her to get to work.
  • It doesn’t take long before Shirley pulls a gun on a patient.  She also points the gun at Fiscus and then Morrison.  She pulls the trigger and a little flag pops out that says, “Bang!”
  • It was a joke!  Oh, Shirely!
  • Shirley laughs and then leaves the hospital.

Elliot has a date:

  • Dr. Axelrod goes out on a date with Nurse Rosenthal’s odd daughter, Marcy (Jeannie Elias).
  • Marcy is impressed with Elliot’s goofy sense of humor.
  • Elliot takes her to the same Hawaiian restaurant that Ehrlich took the Craigs.
  • A sudden fire breaks out.  Elliot heroically saves the life of the restaurant’s owner.
  • Marcy explains that she liked Elliot because he seemed goofy and harmless.  Now that he’s a hero, she respects him too much to sleep with him.

This was a great episode!  William Daniels gave his best performance in the role of Dr. Craig so far.  Ellen Bry, in the role of Shirley Daniels, got one of the all-time great exits.  And the underused Stephen Furst got a storyline where he did something more than just get insulted.  I do feel sad for Mrs. Hufnagle, though.  She wasn’t that bad.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 1.6 “Flight of the Dead Pigeon”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter searches for a pigeon.

Episode 1.6 “Flight of the Dead Pigeon”

(Dir by Michael Preece, originally aired on November 9th, 1984)

When a little girl (Marissa Mendenhall) shows up at the police station and asks for Hunter’s help in finding her stolen carrier pigeons, Hunter’s like, “Buzz off, kid!”  However, when it turns out that the girl’s uncle was a degenerate gambler and that he was thrown off the roof of a building by the mob, Hunter and McCall get involved.  It turns out that the Mexican cartels want to use the pigeons to carry drugs into America.  Because the little girl is the only one who knows how to train the pigeons, they want to kidnap her as well….

Yeah, this was a pretty dumb episode.  I don’t doubt that pigeons could be used to smuggle drugs but I do doubt that any successful criminal organization would go through all the trouble that they go to in this episode.  There are far simpler ways to smuggle drugs.  I’m also sure they could have found someone to train the pigeons without abducting a child.  Hunter and McCall are able to rescue the girl and the episode ends with her smiling cheerfully as she’s sent into foster care.

“Hunter,” McCall asks, “have you ever wanted kids?”

“Nope,” Hunter replies.

“Me neither,” McCall says, not sounding particularly convincing.

What a sad ending!  Seriously, if Hunter and McCall aren’t married by the end of this series, I will throw a fit.  They’re totally meant for each other.  Even in a kind of dumb episode like this one, their chemistry saves the day.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.32 “Fiesta at Midnight”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey is an accused man’s only advocate.

Episode 1.32 “Fiesta At Midnight”

(Dir by Michael Gordon, originally aired on May 19th, 1958)

Juan Ortega (Tomas Milian) comes to New York City from Puerto Rico and finds himself in jail, accused of robbery and assault.  Ortega, who is still learning English, says that he was at a community dance when the crime happened and that there are two women who can provide him with an alibi.  Unfortunately, one of them (Gloria Marlowe) is married and refuses to testify that she had been talking to another man.  The other, a mysterious woman named Maria, cannot be found.  Casey tries to help.

This was an okay episode.  The episode calls out the NYPD for being too quick to assume that Ortega is guilty just because he speaks Spanish and he’s a newcomer to the neighborhood.  That said, it bothered me that a translator was never provided for Ortega.  Ortega was clearly not comfortable speaking English but he had to do so when talking to Casey because Casey didn’t know much Spanish.  I get that this was probably all done to avoid having to ask the viewers to read subtitles but, in-universe, it felt strange.  It was hard not to notice that, even in a precinct located in Spanish Harlem, there weren’t any Spanish cops.

This was an early role for Tomas Milian, who would go on to star in countless Spaghetti Westerns and who also played the corrupt general in Steven Soderbergh’s Traffic.  Though there’s little of the cunning or wit that distinguished Milian’s later performances, he still makes Juan Ortega into a sympathetic figure.

As for the episode’s ending, Maria (Miriam Colon) is revealed to be a nun and she testifies that Juan was with her when the crime occurred.  Casey tells us that Juan got his miracle.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.2 “The Inmates Buy The Asylum”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

The center cannot hold.

Episode 5.2 “The Inmates Buy The Asylum”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 12th, 1988)

If there’s one thing that you can depend on when it comes to this show, it’s inconsistency.

Last week, the players decided to buy the team.  This was portrayed as being a genius move on their part.  Dr. Death dressed up in a suit and said that he was ready to be a businessman as well as a player.  TD Parker (OJ Simpson) told the players that it would be a good idea to take a blade to the typical player/owner relationship.

This week, the players buy the team and everything starts to fall apart.  Suddenly, the players are all too concerned with their own petty issues to be smart businessmen.  Dr. Death is no longer wearing a suit and shows up for a meeting of all the team owners in a denim jacket.  (All of the owners except for one walk out on him.)  The team decides to fire Coach Grier.  Why?  They just don’t like him.  T.D. delivers the news to an embittered Grier and admits that the players are not good owners.  Gee, TD, maybe you shouldn’t have told them to buy the team!

In other words, the players have seized the means of production and screwed everything up.  If nothing else, this episode was a good example of why communism will never work.

Meanwhile, agent Max Green was still in Louisiana, trying to sign college linebacker Sonny Clowers (Gary Kasper).  Fortunately, a chance meeting with the preacher of Sonny’s church gave Max an inside track.  But with the Bulls be able to get it together in time to draft him?

I guess we will find out next week.  As for this episode, it felt as if the writers suddenly realized that it was a mistake to have the players buy the team so they set out to course correct at the last minute.  Myself, I’m wondering how being both a player and an owner would work.  Who sets the salaries?  If a player is traded, is he still an owner?

Seriously, this all seems like a bad idea.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.21 “Ace’s Valet/Mother Comes First/Hit or Miss America”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the Love Boat has a few special passengers.

Episode 7.21 “Ace’s Valet/Mother Comes First/Hit or Miss America”

(Dir by Richard A. Wells, originally aired on February 25th, 1984)

Ace is back from photography school and not a minute too soon because the Love Boat is playing host to not only Miss America Vanessa Williams (playing herself) but also several former Miss Americas.  Unfortunately, for Ace, his mother insists that the family valet, Finley (Jeremy Brett), accompany him.  Ace decides that Finley needs a distraction …. maybe a girlfriend!  Hey, at least one of the former Miss Americas is single….

Meanwhile, Vanessa Williams is getting annoyed with various men hitting on her.  In order to get them to leave her alone, she tells them that she has a boyfriend and he’s on the cruise.  In fact, he’s working as a bartender on the boat!  Tyrone (Glynn Turman) is disappointed but Isaac is overjoyed when he hears that Vanessa is “crazy” about him.  Poor Isaac!  And actually, poor Vanessa as well.  A few months after this episode aired, she stepped down from her position after Penthouse magazine published some risqué pictures that were taken during her modeling days.

Finally, Jenny Rhodes (Audrey Landers) wants her mother, Mrs. Rhodes (Marian Mercer), to find love on the boat.  Gopher helps out by wearing bronzer and a fake beard and pretending to be a wealthy and powerful Indian named Punjab.  Uhmm …. yeah, I’m not really sure what to say about that.  On the one hand, this episode featured the first black Miss America.  On the other hand, it also featured Fred Grandy wearing brownface and speaking in a exaggerated Indian accent.  It’s as if the show was so proud of itself for not being racist in one story that it didn’t notice that it was being totally racist in another.

So, this was, overall, a pretty stupid episode.  I hate to have to say that because I usually really do enjoy The Love Boat.  But having Fred Grandy pretend to be Indian and then having Mrs. Rhodes not get upset about the deception just felt …. well, stupid.  As for the other two stories, Jeremy Brett was amusing and Ted Lange was, as always, endearing.  This could have been a good episode if not for that third story.

Oh well.  Not every cruise can be a winner.  That said, I know what your main question is about this episode.

Julie didn’t do much this episode.  Overall, she really hasn’t done much this entire season.  On a scale of one to ten, I would actually give her an 8 as far as this episode goes.  I mean, she really did lose it when she saw Ace was back on the boat.  For that matter, the Miss Americas all appeared to be in a surprisingly good mood as well.  This was the coke cruise.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.4 “Users”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Jamie goes undercover …. again!

Episode 4.4 “Users”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on August 16th, 1998)

 Pacific Blue started out as a show about bicycle cops.  I always thought that was a stupid premise but, regardless of my opinion, the first two seasons pretty much focused on keeping the cops on the bikes.  However, with the third and now the fourth season, the bikes have started to feel superfluous.  Now, the bike cops are suddenly working murders and going undercover.  This all seems like stuff that actual detective should be doing as opposed to a bunch of glorified traffic cops.

For instance, this episode features Jamie being sent undercover to befriend a teenage drug dealer named Brandon Jeter (future choreographer and Michael Jackson-accuser Wade Robson).  Brandon, who has witnessed a murder, is being used as an informant by an intense narcotics detective named Perry Marcus (Roger Floyd).  TC and Cory make a big deal about how they don’t like Perry’s tactics but why would Perry care?  He’s not a bike cop and they’re not detectives.

This is only Jamie’s fourth episode as a regular character but it feels like the 100th time that she’s been told to work undercover.  The problem is that we don’t know much about who Jamie is so there’s not really any emotional pay-off to seeing her pretending to be someone else.  Jamie is upset when she sees how everyone — from Detective Marcus to drug lord Nick Lambros (Corey Pearson) — is manipulating Brandon but we don’t really know why.  We know nothing about Jamie’s homelife.  We know nothing about her past.  We don’t know why she became a cop.  She’s a character with no inner life.  It’s not the fault of actress Amy Hunter that Jamie comes across as being boring.  The scripts, so far, have given her nothing to work with.

Meanwhile, Moncia is having an affair with the recently promoted Commander McKinnon (Jeffrey Meek).  The affair is often physically abusive but, when Bobby confronts McKinnon, McKinnon claims that Monica enjoys the pain.  Eventually, Monica and Bobby get McKinnon being abusive on tape.  The episode ends with Monica lustfully spying on TC in a neighboring apartment.  Ugh.  This show really annoys me with the way it portrays Monica.  She’s literally the only character on the show who has a positive and largely guilt-free attitude about sex and the show always seems to be determined to either punish or villainize her for it.  (What makes this especially annoying is that the show both judges and leers at Monica at the same time.)

As usual, this episode could have worked if the characters were more interesting.  The idea that everyone on the show was using someone else had potential but the execution fell flat.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.3 “Let the Games Begin”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we’re back at the country club.

Episode 2.3 “Let the Games Begin”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

At Pacific Palisades Country Club, it’s time for the annual competition between the members of the club and the staff.  If the staff wins, the members will wait on them for a week!

Really?  I mean, is this a real thing?  Why would any club member agree to that?  If I’m paying good money to belong to a country club, the last thing that I’m ever going to do is wait on the staff.  I don’t care who wins the stupid competition.

It turns out that Screech is a very good golf player, which becomes an important plot point when the games end in a tie.  The tie-breaker is a golf game between country club owner Big Ed and Screech.  Big Ed tells Screech to either take a dive or stop dating his daughter, Allison.  In the end, Screech can’t betray his fellow workers but Allison doesn’t care.  She decides who she dates, not Big Ed.

Also, Tommy D learns how to swim (yay, good for him!) and Rachel says she’s going to quit her job when she learns her boyfriend won’t be coming home for the summer.  (Her boyfriend was a member of the club and Rachel only took the job so she could spend time with him.)  Brian, not wanting Rachel to quit, starts to send her poems that she believes are being written by her boyfriend.  Rachel eventually learns the truth but she’s not offended at all.  Of course, she isn’t.  Just look at Brian’s apologetic smile!

This episode …. listen, let’s give credit where credit is due.  Christian Oliver and Sarah Lancaster?  They were cute together.  As far as fake Zacks go, Christian Oliver was one of the better ones.  And Jonathan Angel gave a likably earnest performance in the scenes where Tommy learned to swim.  Unfortunately, this episode featured way too much Screech.  Though Dustin Diamond is nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons, he’s still way too cartoonish to be taken seriously as anyone’s boyfriend.

Seriously, can you imagine buying a country club membership and then having to wait on Screech?

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.20 “Flare Up”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch is in trouble!

Episode 5.20 “Flare Up”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on March 7th, 1982)

While saving lives and being a badass at the sight of a highway crash, Baker accidentally inhales chlorine gas and has to go to the hospital.  Meanwhile, an embittered young man named Eddie (Alan Stock) claims that Ponch roughed him up at a traffic stop and gave him a black eye.  The truth of the matter is that Eddie hit his head on his steering wheel while he was trying to grab a beer can that had been thrown at him by a couple of obnoxious college students.

Baker survives the chemical attack but it looks like Ponch’s days of patrolling the highway might be over.  Fear not, though.  This is….

You can’t have The Ponch Show without Ponch!  Seriously, if Ponch loses his job, who is going to smile in the face of danger?  Who is going to disco dance?  Who is going to have four women in his apartment, making dinner?  CHiPs is a show of the disco age and it doesn’t get more disco than Erik Estrada.

By an amazing coincidence, another chemical spill produces a cloud of toxic gas that is heading straight for Eddie’s grandfather (Harry Carey, Jr.)  Ponch risks his life to save the old man and a thankful Edddie drops the complaint.  Actually, last week — didn’t someone drop a complaint against Baker after Baker saved someone’s life?  Is CHiPs repeating itself?

Of course, it is!  CHiPs always repeats itself.  That’s kind of the appeal of the show.  It’s predictable, it doesn’t require much thought to enjoy, and there’s always another dramatic car crash to which to look forward.

That’s what CHiPs is all about.

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.4 “St. Louis Book of Blues”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, everyone’s going to Missouri.  Can you blame them?

Episode 1,4 “St. Louis Book of Blues”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on September 30th, 1986)

After Ray Luca discovers that his henchman, Frank Holman (Ted Levine), has been compromised by Torello, he decides to deal with the situation by sending Holman down to St. Louis.  A gangster named Ganz (Raymond Serra) has a home in St. Louis and, according to Ganz’s associate Johnny Fosse (Michael Madsen, doing his slow-talking, cigarette-smoking Madsen thing), there is a book in Ganz’s shelf that contains the name of every bookie, coach, and sports-fixer in America.  Ray, who is hoping to start up his own nationwide gambling syndicate, wants that book.

Far be it for me to question Ray Luca’s strategy but it does seem strange that his response to one of his people screwing up is to give that person an even more important job to do.  I get that Ray is trying to be a manager now and, as a result, he no longer personally robs anyone but Frank really does seem like the last person he should trust to pull this off.

And, to no one’s surprise, Frank doesn’t pull it off.  Torello and his men follow him all the way to St. Louis.  They not only arrest him but they also get their hands on Ganz’s book.  They do this despite the operation nearly being ruined by an ambitious and publicity-hungry sheriff named Hartman (Allen Swfit).

Unfortunately, when Frank offers to inform on the entire “St. Louis mob,” Hartman releases him from jail.  Frank promptly flees town.  When he calls Ray, Ray orders him to stay out of Chicago and instead to go to Cleveland.  Frank replies that if he has to choose between Hell or Cleveland …. he’ll go to Cleveland.  Good thinking, Frank!

(Actually, I’ve never been to Cleveland so I don’t know if it’s really good thinking.  Wasn’t Dennis Kucinich from Cleveland?)

As this episode ends, Ganz is ready to declare war on Luca and it appears that Max Goldman might be the first victim.  The funny thing about Max is that he’s played by a young Andrew Dice Clay and, in every scene in which he appears, Clay’s facial expressions are totally and completely over-the-top, as if Clay was determined to make sure that no one forgot he was in the scene.  I hope that Max survives, just for the sake of entertainment,

This episode returned to the idea of Torelllo being dangerously and tightly wound.  Before he followed Frank to St. Louis, he nearly firebombed a furniture store because the owner hadn’t delivered the table that he had ordered.  Torello was talked out of doing so by his fellow cops but the store owner still got the message.  The table arrived at Torello’s apartment.  Of course, it was the wrong table.  That made me laugh.  People have no idea how close Torello is to snapping and killing everyone around him.

This was a good episode.  It was interesting to see a young Ted Levine, not to mention a young Michael Madsen as well.  The corrupt and incompetent sheriff was identified as being a Democrat. I appreciated that.  I’m looking forward to seeing where this show is going.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.17 “Relax”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, it’s all about uniforms and palms.

Episode 2.17 “Relax”

(Dir by Laurie Lynd, originally aired on August 8th, 2003)

Eh, it’s a Liberty episode.

Liberty is upset when she doesn’t make the girls’ hockey team.  However, she is appointed to be their equipment manager and, as was always the case with Liberty, she immediately allows the least bit of power and responsibility to go to her head.  Realizing that the girls need new uniforms, Liberty goes to Joey Jeremiah and asks him to sponsor them.  Joey is willing …. except, he’s already sponsoring the boys’ team and he can’t afford to sponsor both.  Liberty challenges the boys’ team to a game.  The winner gets Joey’s sponsorship.

Needless to say, Coach Liberty (she puts on a cape to make sure everyone knows that she’s in charge) pushes the girls too hard and forgets that sports should be fun.  At halftime, the girls tell Liberty that they’ll only continue playing if Liberty isn’t out on the court.  Liberty agrees.  The girls don’t win but Joey is so impressed with their determination that he sponsors them anyway.  It would be nice to say that Liberty learns a lesson from all this but I’ve binged Degrassi enough times to know that Liberty never learns a lesson from anything.

Meanwhile, Terri freaks out when she misreads Paige’s palm and becomes convinced that Paige is going to die.  Paige takes advantage of the situation.  Good for Paige.  Terri has never been particularly intelligent but this episode takes the proverbial cake.