Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 3.14 “Accidents Will Happen: Part One”

Posted on October 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Degrassi goes there!

Episode 3.14 “Accidents Will Happen: Part One”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo, originally aired on January 26th, 2004)

Jimmy, Spinner, and JT are planning on going to Buffalo so that they can see DJ Mad Bullets. Toby wants to come as well but Jimmy’s no longer talking to Toby. The official reason is because Toby’s stepsister, Ashley, broke Jimmy’s heart. Another reason is that Toby keeps saying things like, “What up, dawg?” whenever he sees Jimmy.

When Toby overhears Jimmy saying that he won’t get to go to the concert if he doesn’t pass his Algebra midterm, Toby offers to hack into the school’s system and change Jimmy’s grade. Jimmy says that he would be willing to take Toby to the concert in return. Toby attempts to hack the system from his laptop but he accidentally gives Jimmy a grade of 8,888 instead of 88. Toby’s laptop then dies. Jimmy insists that Toby try again from the computer lab’s main console. Of course, Mr. Raditch just happens to step into the lab and sees what Toby is doing. Jimmy and Toby both get Saturday detention. Jimmy tells Toby that, “You’re a fake rap fan. You’re a fake computer hacker. You’re just a fake.” OUCH! Painful …. but probably deserved.

Meanwhile, several students are sick with the stomach flu but that’s not why Manny runs from Ms. Kwan’s classroom so that she can throw up in the girls restroom. Manny has also been in training for an upcoming gymnastics meet but that’s not why her period is several weeks late. Manny asks Paige how she would know if someone used a condom. I’ll admit that I always yell, “OH MY GOD!” whenever I hear Manny ask that question but look at it from Manny’s point of view. She was raised in an extremely traditional household. She was apparently very sheltered. It’s totally believable that no one in her family ever talked to her about sex. Craig was her first and, when Manny eventually asks him point blank if he used a condom, Craig says that he assumed she was on the pill. OH MY GOD! I just yelled it again.

After talking to Spike about what it was like when Spike got pregnant as a teenager, Manny finally takes a pregnancy test and gets a positive result. Manny is scared. Craig is overjoyed. The guy who can’t even handle putting on a condom just can’t wait to be a father!

More than anything, this episode is about the importance of sex education. Both Manny and Craig are about to deal with something that neither knows nothing about. Ironically enough, this episode did not air in America until 2006, a full two years after it aired in Canada. It was considered to be too controversial for America. In America, the people who actually needed to see this episode were not allowed to.

This is a two-parter. We’ll deal with the second part next week!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 6.7 “Saigon Rose”

Posted on October 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, Pembleton, Lewis, Bayliss, and (ugh) Flasone investigate a shooting at a Vietnamese restaurant.

Episode 6.7 “Saigon Rose”

(Dir by Nick Gomez, originally aired on November 21st, 1997)

There’s an incredibly dumb moment in this week’s episode of Homicide. In an otherwise deserted hallway, Flasone confronts Kellerman with his suspicion that Kellerman executed Luther Mahoney and now, as a result, innocent people have been killed due to Georgia Rae Mahoney’s vendetta. (As if Georgia Rae wouldn’t have launched a vendetta if the killing hadn’t been an execution….) Kellerman and Falsone have a scuffle in the hallway and they both end up pulling their guns and having a brief, John Woo-style stand-off. When another cop comes walking down the hallway, they reholster their weapons.

It’s an idiotic moment that should have had no place on Homicide. It also gets at what is so annoying about Falsone. Why is Falsone investigating this? No one has asked him to investigate it. No one else seems to care about whether or not Kellerman murdered Luther. Most would probably say that Luther got what he deserved. But Falsone is on a crusade and the show seems to think that it makes him a hero, as opposed to a rat.

While Kellerman and Falsone are threatening to kill each other, Pembleton, Lewis, and Bayliss are investigating a shooting at a Vietnamese restaurant. Almost everyone who worked at the restaurant — including an off-duty cop — is found dead. The only survivors are two teenagers who hid in the kitchen. When interrogated by Pembleton and Lewis, they reveal that one of the shooters was a local cop named Toinette Perry (Camille McCurty Ali).

Toinette was hired as a cop despite having a history of mental instability. Her father had a friend at city hall and pulled some strings. Her father subsequently disappeared. Pembleton and Lewis think that Toinette recruited her cousin, Curtis (Dion Graham), to commit the robbery with her. Bayliss and Falsone are sent to arrest Curtis, which just proves that you can’t get away from Falsone on this show. He has to be involved in everything.

This episode wasn’t particularly complex. The mystery was easily solved and, while the episode did hint that the off-duty cop resented Toinette for being a “diversity hire,” it didn’t really pursue that angle with any real depth. That’s not necessarily a complaint. Homicide is at its best when its just about the detectives doing their jobs. Camille McCurty Ali gave a chilling performance as the sociopathic Toinette.

Meanwhile, Laura Ballard was rushed to the hospital after a night eating crabs with Gharty. (My boyfriend assures me that this is a Baltimore thing.) It turns out that Laura has an allergy to shellfish. Gharty is horrified at the thought of living in Baltimore and not being able to eat crabs. It was a cute storyline, largely due to Peter Gerety’s performance as Gharty.

This was not a bad episode but Falsone needs to leave Kellerman alone!

Seriously.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 3.9 “Pipe Dreams”

Posted on October 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Zack loses his favorite duck.

Episode 3.9 “Pipe Dreams”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 26th, 1991)

Oil’s been discovered on Bayside’s football field! Smarmy Dan Grayson (Gary Lahti) offers Bayside a lot of money for the right to drill on the field. Almost all of the students fantasize about going to rich school despite the fact that, with the exception of Kelly, it’s been established that they’re all already rich and that Bayside has been a rich school for a while. I’m not sure why the students think that they would be getting any of the money. And why is it up to the principal to decide whether or not to allow drilling. It seems like that should be up to the county supervisors.

But what about the never before mentioned pond behind the football field!? When the inevitable oil spill happens, Zack’s favorite duck Becky is killed. “She’s where the oil can’t hurt her anymore,” Screech says. It looks like it’s time for Zack to crash Mr. Grayson’s presentation and spray oil on him. “I’m covered in oil!” Mr. Grayson shouts. It’s easy to make your point when your opponent is cartoonishly evil.

You probably already guessed that this is not my favorite episode. It’s just so cartoonishly heavy-handed and the idea that Zack’s simplistic presentation was enough to convince everyone not to drill for oil was borderline insulting. If there’s oil underneath the football field and money to be made by drilling for it, someone’s going to do it. No one is going to care whether Zack approves or not.

My favorite moment is when Slater calls out Jessie for wearing clothing and accessories that aren’t environmentally-friendly. Seriously, Jessie is always a little bit too self-righteous for me. Personally, I would have agreed to let the company drill for the oil but only after they found a new pond for all of the turtles and ducks.

Poor Becky.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 3.0 “Summerfest Special”

Posted on October 10, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, the third of Baywatch begins with a special!

Episode 3.0: “Summerfest Special”

(Originally aired September 13, 1992)

“Hi, I’m David Hasselhoff, here to welcome you to the Summerfest special.”

The third season of Baywatch starts not with a story about Mitch Buchannon and his fellow lifeguards, but with a breezy special about the California lifestyle and what viewers can expect from the upcoming season. David Hasselhoff stands on the beach in his Baywatch uniform and earnestly talks about how important lifeguards are and how the show is all about celebrating their heroism.

“Life’s a beach,” Hasselhoff says, “and everyone’s life is at the beach.”

“We’ll be back with the latest in barely legal swimwear!” announcer Sean “Hollywood” Hamilton says as the special goes to commercial. Yes, that is the actual line.

In between shots of beachgoers in bikinis, the Summerfest Special features interviews with the cast members joining Baywatch in season 3. Susan Anton talks about being dramatically taller than her on-screen daughter, Nicole Eggert. David Charvet is introduced as “Baywatch’s newest bad boy.” Alexandra Paul says that maybe her character and Mitch will hook up, then laughs. Kelly Slater says that he’s not really an actor, but he joined the cast to show the world what “surfing is all about.” Pamela Anderson says that she’s looking forward to playing a “metaphysical character” because she’s very metaphysical herself. Gregory Alan Williams, who is being promoted to regular status in season 3, talks about saving a bystander during a riot because “I don’t like mobs.”

In between even more shots of beachgoers in bikinis, Hasselhoff talks about his music career and says that Baywatch is a show the entire family can watch. He adds, “Skimpy apparel is a part of the appeal.” This is followed by a montage of women in bikinis.

The Summerfest Special isn’t streaming on Tubi or Prime, but it is available on YouTube. The version I watched included all of the commercials that aired with the show. There weren’t any pharma commercials, which I appreciated. In America, we don’t really realize how bombarded we are with commercials for medicine with potentially deadly side effects until we get a chance to watch a complete broadcast from a time when no one in their right mind would think of advertising prescription medication on television.

Instead, I got a lot of commercials for local businesses and special musical compilation albums. There was a commercial for a Dodge dealership that bragged about how their vehicles came with airbags. In the middle of a commercial for a gospel album, a preacher said, “Who the hell left the gate open?” and everyone in the church cheered. A woman quit her job with confidence because of her Secret deodorant. “I’ll borrow my mother’s scarf,” a young woman who reminded me of myself declared, “but my mother’s tampons? No way!” A bunch of teen soccer players announced they’d rather drink “Sunny D” than “soda” or “purple stuff.” I’m from the South, so it always sounds weird to hear people refer to Coke as soda. It’s even weirder to see people preferring an orange drink to it.

If I seem to be spending a lot of time on the commercials, that’s because they felt like little mini time machines. Watching them was like taking a 30-second trip back to the early ’90s. As for the rest of the special, it was essentially a lengthy commercial for Baywatch and bikinis, but everyone interviewed seemed to be in a really good mood. They were having fun, and that’s the important thing.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Sledge Hammer 1.9 “Magnum Farce”

Posted on October 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing SLEDGE HAMMER!, a cop comedy which ran on ABC from 1986 to 1988. The entire series can be found on Prime!

A man’s got to know his limitations.

Episode 1.9 “Magnum Farce”

(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on November 22nd, 1986)

Someone is executing the criminals that the justice system fails to convict. The new district attorney, Ms. Collins (Janice Lynde), demands that the police discover who is acting as judge, jury, and executioner. Sledge Hammer is not happy about his new assignment. Not only is he having to go after people who hate criminals almost as much as he does but he’s also having to work for a woman.

When the latest victim holds up two fingers before dying, Sledge Hammer assumes that he’s saying he was shot by hippies. However, when the shell casings turn out to be from police-issued ammunition, Sledge realizes that the victim was actually signing that he had been shot by two cops. “I’m really bad at Charades,” Hammer explains.

Hammer and Trunk stage a fight so that the vigilantes will attempt to recruit Sledge Hammer. It works, even though Hammer accidentally knocks out Trunk. However, it turns out that the head of the vigilantes is none other than the liberal district attorney, Ms. Collins!

If this sounds familiars, that because this episode borrows a lot from the classic Dirty Harry sequel, Magnum Force. The vigilantes are even motorcycle cops, just like in the earlier film. Whereas Magnum Force was a rather grim film, this episode is silly even by the standards of Sledge Hammer. The two murders are largely bloodless, the dialogue is full of non-sequiturs, and the whole thing ends with Ms. Collins firing her gun at Sledge Hammer while Sledge calmly stands still because, according to him, women are terrible shots. The humor is nonstop and bizarre and the end result is the funniest episode since the pilot.

My favorite moment cames towards the end, when Captain Trunk burst into Ms. Collins’s mansion with several other police officers. When Hammer asks Trunk to explain to Collins the careful police work that went into uncovering her role as the head of the vigilantes, Tunk replies, “I live next door.”

For once, Sledge Hammer makes the city safe for criminals and it’s absolutely hilarious. He knows what he’s doing.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.14 “Family Ties”

Posted on October 9, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the matriarch of a powerful Massachusetts political family comes to St. Eligius.

Episode 4.14 “Family Ties”

(Dir by Allan Arkush, originally aired on January 22nd, 1986)

After Elliot makes a clerical error that leads to one of his patients getting a mohawk, he’s more than happy to be assigned to check on a sick gorilla. Elliot not only diagnoses the gorilla as suffering from a brain tumor (luckily, it’s not malignant) but also gets a date with the animal’s keeper, Dr. Valerie Harding (Diana Canova).

When Fiscus freaks out about getting older, he tries to push up his wedding date with Mona and pressures her to abandon her career to start a family immediately. After Fiscus interrupts an operation to argue with her, Mona dumps him. (“I told you he was a bubblehead,” Dr. Craig says.) When Fiscus learns that his sperm has been used in an IVF procedure, he becomes obsessed with tracking down the woman who might be having his child. He then runs into Morrison’s ex-girlfriend, Clancy (Helen Hunt), and is soon flirting with her.

Why is Clancy back at the hospital? Morrison slipped on a wet floor and injured his knee. He has to have surgery. Clancy comes up with Morrison’s little-seen son, Pete. Pete, for his part, wanders over to Ken Valere (George Deloy), who, along with his wife (Deborah May), has been having second thoughts about whether to use a surrogate. Meeting Pete inspires the Valeres to adopt. So I guess that plotline is finally over, and I won’t have to ignore it anymore.

The majority of this episode is taken up with the arrival of Augusta Endicott (Dorothy McGuire), the matriarch of one of Massachusetts’s most powerful political families. She’s also the widow of a notorious anti-Semite, one who kept Auschlander from getting appointed to a state board in the 1960s.

From the minute Augusta and her family show up at the hospital, it’s obvious that they’re meant to be stand-ins for the Kennedys, even though Endicott is not an Irish name. (One gets the feeling the Endicotts are meant to be WASPy Episcopalians.) I always find it curious when an obvious Kennedy stand-in turns up on a television show. Does that mean St. Elsewhere takes place in a universe where the Kennedys don’t exist? The parallels are so obvious that it seems strange no one would point them out in-universe. This show is set in Boston. It seems as if someone would say, “Hey, Augusta Endicott sure has a lot in common with Rose Kennedy.”

Augusta is in the hospital for a checkup. She’s having heart problems, but she tells Dr. Craig that she would prefer to let nature take its course rather than spend the rest of her life having surgeries. Augusta also arranges for Auschlander to finally be appointed to the state medical board.

I’m getting the feeling that the Endicott family is going to be around for at least a few episodes. I can’t say I’m particularly enthused about the idea, but I get it. This is a show about Boston. You’ve got to have Kennedys.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 2.5 “Killer In A Halloween Mask”

Posted on October 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter faces off against a scarred killer wearing a mask! Pretty scary, kids!

Episode 2.5 “Killer In A Halloween Mask”

(Dir by Sidney Hayers and Michael Peerce, originally aired on October 26th, 1985)

After getting the bill for yet another high-speed chase involving Hunter and McCall, Captain Wyler (the great Bruce Davison) decides that they need to take a week off from causing trouble. He assigns them to work as technical advisors for a cop show called Street Heat.

At first, everything seems fine. Hunter hits on the publicity woman. The star of the show, J.J. Hendrix (Stephen Shortridge), asks McCall out to dinner. But then, one night, a man in a cheap plastic mask breaks into Hendrix’s house, bashes in his skull in with a fireplace poker, and sprays acid on the star’s face! (I guess he wasn’t a fan of the last season of Welcome Back Kotter.)

A masked killer is targeting the cast and crew of Street Heat! Hunter and McCall suspect that it might be Dave Tolan (Gary Graham), the former star of the show whose career ended when he set himself on fire while freebasing. The horribly scarred Dave now works at a wax museum and has access to all sorts of chemicals and acids. Plus, Hendrix was dating Dave’s ex-girlfriend….

And, of course, Hunter and McCall are correct. We know that they’re correct because we see Dave plotting the murders at the start of the episode. I have to admit that I spent the entire episode waiting for some sort of twist. I thought Dave would have an accomplice or something similar. But nope, it’s just Dave. It all leads to a confrontation in the wax museum. During a struggle with Hunter, Dave gets impaled. Hunter doesn’t say, “Works for me,” but you can tell that he’s thinking it.

There weren’t any big surprises in this episode but I still enjoyed it. It aired on October 26th and it was obviously produced with Halloween in mind. The late Gary Graham gave an appropriately unhinged performance as Dave. The scenes on the set of Street Heat also served as a commentary on Hunter as a show. After watching Hendrix “shoot” a suspect in a scene that felt like it could have been lifted from any episode of Hunter, McCall and Hunter commented that Street Heat wasn’t very realistic.

Fans of washed-up politicians will be happy to see Jesse “The Body” Ventura in this episode. He shows up at the start of the show. He’s been arrested for attacking his dentist. Ventura complains about his toothache. Hunter knocks the tooth out of his mouth. Ventura thanks him. Whenever I see Jesse Ventura in an old TV show or movie, I always regret that Arnold Schwarzenegger was the only other future governor that he co-starred with. If Fred Dryer had later been elected governor of California, this episode would have been legendary.

Governor Dryer. It has a nice ring to it.

Retro Television Review: Area 57

Posted on October 8, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! This Thursday, I will be reviewing Area 57, which was produced for NBC in 2007. The show can be found on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Dean Parisot, filmed in 2007, never aired)

Col. Steven Isaac (Matthew Lillard) has been assigned to Area 57, a military base in the Nevada desert. Isaac is excited to read his orders and discover that Area 57 is home to an extraterrestrial. He arrives at the base. He meets by-the-book Lt. Irene Maloof (Jane Lynch). He meets the plain-spoken General Keller (Bruce McGill). He meets head scientist Dr. Annabelle Fermi (Kelly Hu). Finally, Isaac announces that he really wants to meet the alien.

Suddenly, Dr. Fermi emerges from her laboratory and says that the alien has died. General Keller announces that Area 57 is being shut down. All of the soldiers cheer. The general explains that the alien wasn’t always popular. Isaac still insists on seeing the body. With Dr. Fermi at his side, he gets his first look at the alien and accidentally spills his coffee on him. The alien (played by Paul Reubens) comes back to life. It turns out that he was just going through a sleep cycle. General Keller announces that Area 57 is not closing and no one is going home.

With the entire base still angry with him, Isaac still insists on meeting the alien. The alien asks him about his education. Isaac says that he attended college through an endowment. The alien says that many of the soldiers like Dr. Fermi. Isaac agrees that she’s attractive. The alien then announces to Irene that Isaac was making crude comments about Fermi and bragging about how endowed he was.

Isaac realizes the truth. The alien is a jerk. He also learns that the alien has been at Area 57 for 40 years and that, so far, the government has learned nothing from him.

That’s the plot of Area 57. NBC thought enough of the idea to commission a pilot, but the network never aired it. It’s available on YouTube. Watching it, you can see what the problem was. The alien is established as such a jerk that it’s hard to imagine anything else that could have been done with the character. Paul Reubens plays the role under a good deal of makeup, and he’s more off-putting than intriguing. That said, Matthew Lillard was genuinely funny as the earnest and idealistic Col. Isaac. He was so excited about meeting an alien that it was impossible not to feel sorry for him when the alien turned out to be a jerk.

If we ever do meet aliens, I have a feeling that something like Area 57 might be seen as prophetic. There’s a tendency to assume that alien visitors will be interesting, erudite, and worth knowing. I think that if there are aliens out there, they’re just as likely to be as annoying as the average human.

Area 57. The truth is out there!

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.6 “Clean and Sober”

Posted on October 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, Billy Cooper gets in trouble.

Episode 5.6 “Clean and Sober”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on November 15th, 1989)

This week’s episode features three storylines.

The simplest of the storylines features Denardo’s ex-wife (Arlene Golonka) showing up at his house and saying that she’s hiding from a stalker. She even changes Denardo’s phone number. It turns out that her stalker is actually her current husband and they’re just having a minor argument. They’re reunited while Denardo stands in the background and smiles.

The comedic storyline features an ex-player named Wes (Bob Chandler) asking Dr. Death and Jethro to serve as his bodyguards for a week. Wes, who left football and got the lead role on a cop show, says that he’s going to have to testify against a mob boss. Dr. Death and Jethro agree to keep an eye on him. For instance, they bring him to practice. They also freak out when someone tosses an unlit stick of dynamite at them. Eventually, it turns out that Wes set them up to be the victims on a television prank show. This storyline also featured Zagred begging Wes to put him on his show. Even TD Parker (OJ Simpson) got in on the spirit, asking Wes if he could help him pitch a television show about a football manager who solves murders. Uhmm, yeah, that sounds like a great idea, OJ….

The dramatic storyline features Billy getting into an accident while driving drunk. His companion for the night is nearly killed. Billy is sentenced to 90 days of alcohol rehab. The member of the Bulls are not supportive of Billy’s attempt to get sober. Johnny Gunn resents that he spent six years in prison for something that he did while drunk but Billy is apparently going to get away with just a slap on the wrist. Billy stops drinking and starts popping pills.

TD is upset to see that Billy is not making a real effort to get sober. When TD hears an commentator refer to Billy as being a “true professional,” TD replies, “Not in my book.”

Really, OJ?

This episode was all over the place, as is usually the case with 1st & Ten. I actually found the storyline about Wes to be amusing but it didn’t feel like it belonged on an episode where Billy was trying and failing to get sober. That said, this episode’s portrayal of Billy as being too rich and too famous to be held responsible for his mistakes was probably pretty close to the truth when it comes to celebrity addicts. Billy may hate himself but he’s got enough cash to soothe the pain.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.15 “Santa, Santa, Santa/Another Dog Gone Christmas/Noel’s Christmas Carol”

Posted on October 7, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Merry Christmas!

Episode 8.15 “Santa, Santa, Santa/Another Dog Gone Christmas/Noel’s Christmas Carol”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 15th, 1984)

It’s time for the Christmas voyage!

Assigned to hire a Santa Claus for the trip, Judy McCoy has finally managed to find one in the surprisingly thin form of Max Phelps (Ray Waltson). Uh-oh! Apparently, Gopher didn’t get the memo and he hired a Santa Claus of his own, Patrick Turney (Avery Schreiber). Well, this is awkward but surely …. wait a minute, who is that with Isaac? Isaac also hired a Santa Claus, in this case Shakespearean actor Malcolm (Scatman Crothers)!

How did this happen and I mean that sincerely. I guess I can understand Gopher having the power to hire a Santa Claus because he is the ship’s pursuer. But why is Isaac hiring people? How does the Captain not know who is and who isn’t being hired for his ship? And why didn’t either Gopher or Isaac tell Judy that they hired a Santa Claus?

These are legitimate questions but they really don’t matter. The three Santa Clauses are all wonderful in their roles and watching them try to outdo each other is actually pretty entertaining. This is a storyline that worked better than it had any right to, largely because there wasn’t a hint of cynicism to be found on The Love Boat. Most modern sitcoms would have made the Santa Clauses angry or bitter. But, on The Love Boat, three Santas are always better than one!

As for the other stories, Carol Kelsey (Kim Lankford) lies to her mother (Anne Francis) and tells her that Ace is her fiancé. Carol is just trying to get her mother off of her back. But when Carol falls for Ace’s friend, Noel Kane (Shea Farrell), Carol’s mother fears that her daughter is cheating on Ace. No worries! What can go wrong when you fall in love with someone named Noel on Christmas? Again, this is another episode that worked specifically because of The Love Boat’s utter and complete earnestness. It was goofy and it was perfect for a Christmas voyage.

Finally, Vicki is sailing with her dog, Tundra (played by the adorable Tundra The Wonder Dog). Because Vicki’s aunt and uncle can no longer look after Tundra and a boat is no place for a dog to live, she gives Tundra to a down-on-his luck stand-up comedian (Howard Morris). This was such a sweet story that it brought tears to my eyes. Tundra was adorable and he brought a lot of cheer to the entire boat.

Wow, Christmas in October! Happy holidays everyone!