Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.7 “Close Encounters”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, John Doe No. 6 returns.

Episode 4.7 “Close Encounters”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on November 20th, 1985)

This episode begins with a jolt. Dr. Victor Ehrlich is actually choosing to be ethical as opposed to just kissing up. Ehrlich is currently doing a rotation in plastic surgery, where he’s working with Bobby Caldwell. Caldwell already disliked Ehrlich before Ehrlich even joined the department. Caldwell’s opinion is not improved when he discovers that Ehrlich has talked a patient out of getting an eye tuck that Caldwell recommended. When Caldwell confronts him, Ehrlich argues that the surgery wasn’t necessary and that Caldwell manipulated the man into agreeing because Caldwell’s department is currently on the chopping block. When Ehrlich threatens to go to Dr. Craig, Caldwell sneers. Dr. Craig is the one who personally recruited Caldwell to come to St. Eligius. Ehrlich, on the other hand, is just “the hospital clown.”

Yikes. When Bobby Caldwell was introduced two seasons ago, he was mild-mannered and likable and clearly on the show because Mark Harmon looked good without a shirt on. This season, Caldwell has been arrogant and self-destructive. The fresh scar on his face has become a symbol for the scar on his soul. Personally, I think Bobby is a much more interesting character now. Every soap opera needs a villain and, by the time the fourth season started, St. Elsewhere had definitely become a soap opera.

As for Dr. Craig, he’s not there to talk to Ehrlich because he’s accompanied his daughter-in-law to her hometown in Clinton, New York. Yvonne (Suzanne Lederer) has been in a coma ever since Stephen Craig flipped their car. In this episode, she finally opens her eyes but she still isn’t speaking or mobile. Along with helping to transfer Yvonne to a new hospital, Craig has another reason for going to New York. He’s promised Ellen that he will return with their granddaughter, Barbara. However, when Dr. Craig spends the night there, he discovers that Yvonne’s parents aren’t the backward monsters that he assumed they were. He sees that they love Barbara and that they are taking care of her. Though he doesn’t say it, one gets the feeling that Dr. Craig realizes that Ellen mostly just wants custody of Barbara so she can have a part of Stephen. In New York, Dr. Craig finally starts to understand why Stephen and Yvonne designated Yvonne’s parents as Barbara’s legal guardians. Dr. Craig returns to Boston without Barbara. “I hate you for this, Mark,” Ellen says.

Meanwhile, astronaut Col. Chuck Cochrane (David Ackroyd) has decided that his seizure and subsequent dream were all signs from God telling him not to return to space. NASA, concerned that Cochrane is going to give the program a bad name, sends Captain Gloria Neal (Betty White) to the hospital. (Gloria mentions that she was sent by Major Healey, which is undoubtedly a reference to Roger Healey from I Dream of Jeannie.) Because Gloria went to medical school with Dr. Westphall, NASA thinks that she’ll be able to influence him to discharge Cochrane from the hospital so that he can be taken back to Walter Reed and forced to rejoin the space program. Westphall, however, decides to support Dr. Morrison’s decision not to discharge Cochrane. Westphall goes on to tell Gloria that she’s not much of a doctor anymore. She’s just a PR agent for the government. “So, I guess we won’t be sleeping together,” Gloria replies.

Ugh, Westphall. I know that I spent a lot of time complaining about Dr. Westphall, but this episode really epitomized everything that I dislike about the character. When he’s not depressed, he’s self-righteous. Whenever anyone disagrees with him, he starts talking about his experiences volunteering at a clinic in Ethiopia, as if that experience automatically makes his opinion superior to anyone else’s. In this episode, he decides that it’s his place to judge Gloria’s life decisions. Seriously, Westphall is the worst!

Finally, John Doe No. 6 (Oliver Clark) is back. He’s recovered from the surgery that initially left him comatose. He can speak and move again but he still has amnesia. He’s back in the psych ward. While watching television, he suddenly realizes who he is. He’s Mary Richards from The Mary Tyler Moore Show! He decides that a fellow patient, Mr. Carlin (Jack Riley), is Mary’s friend Rhoda. Dr. Auschlander is Mary’s co-worker, Murray. He tries to throw a party in the psych ward and it’s awful because Mary’s parties are always awful! When he sees Gloria Neal walking down the hospital hallway, he thinks that she’s Sue Ann Nivens, the happy homemaker! “Excuse me?” Gloria asks, confused.

Of course, Betty White did play Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. (St. Elsewhere itself was produced by Mary Tyler Moore’s production company.) Even more interesting, however, is that Jack Riley previously played Mr. Carlin on The Bob Newhart Show. Oliver Clark also appeared on The Bob Newhart Show, playing Mr. Herd, who was a member of the same therapy group as Mr. Carlin. As such, viewers who had previously seen The Bob Newhart Show (whether during its original run or, if you’re like me, via reruns) would have known that John Doe No. 6 was actually Mr. Herd. The episode’s biggest mystery is easily solved by those with a knowledge of television history. At the same time, it’s also interesting to note that Mr. Carlin presumably recognizes John Doe No. 6 but has yet to let anyone know.

It makes for a bizarre but enjoyable episode. Bobby is turning into a monster. The Craigs are headed for divorce. Dr. Westphall just insulted Betty White. But even with all that, it’s hard not to get caught up in John Doe No. 6’s joy. He’s going to make it after all!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.6 “Lost and Found In Space”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, it’s not just the patients who need to be stitched up.

Episode 4.6 “Lost and Found In Space”

(Dir by Robert Becker, originally aired on November 13th, 1985)

Bobby Caldwell lives!

Things were looking pretty bad for Bobby last week.  As you may remember, he picked up a waitress, took her to his Cape Cod home, and then ended up getting slashed across the face when she pulled a razor blade out from under her tongue.  This week, Bobby is wandering around the hospital with a huge bandage on his face and telling everyone that he had an “accident.”  It’s only to Dr. Turner that he confesses that he was attacked by the waitress.  Bobby claims that he responded by punching her and that he then called the police.

Bobby spends this episode in a truly foul mood.  Not only does he have a bandage on his face but he’s also been told that the Hospital Review Board doesn’t feel that he’s performing enough surgeries for the residents to really get the training that they need.  (“We’re a teaching hospital,” Dr. Craig explains.)  Bobby pressures an old man into getting a face lift that he really doesn’t need.  Even Victor thinks that the surgery is unethical.  I mean, when you’ve lost Victor Ehrlich….

Meanwhile, Dr. Westphall is finally released from the hospital after fainting due to the Malaria that he brought back from working abroad.  Westphall is depressed about the whole thing.  Westphall is always depressed.  Even when his daughter comes home to help out, Westphall is depressed to see her.  Cheer up, Westphall!

After weeks of trying to lose weight, Elliot discovers that he’s actually gained three pounds.  What’s worse is that his girlfriend, Marcy (Jeannie Elias), lost weight at the same time that Elliot was gaining weight and, when she sees that he’s just as heavy as ever, she dumps him.

Amongst the patients, Pru Dowler (Amanda Wyss) and Buddy Askew (Mark Baker) are two developmentally challenged teenagers who end up “procreating” (as Luther puts it) in Pru’s hospital room.  Dr. Craig takes it upon himself to discuss what happened when Pru and it’s just as awkward as you might expect.

Col. Chuck Cochrane (David Ackroyd) is an astronaut who collapses while giving a speech.  In the hospital, he has nightmares about being trapped in space.  The whole storyline brought to mind The Ninth Configuration, a film that perhaps not coincidentally starred the future Donald Westphall himself, Ed Flanders.

The highlight of this episode was undoubtedly William Daniels’s performance as Dr. Craig.  With Dr. Westphall recovering his illness, the day-to-day tasks of running the hospital fell on Dr. Craig and he was not at all happy about it.  On this show, William Daniels is always at his best when Dr. Craig is in a bad mood.  Before going on rounds, Dr. Craig predicted that Dr. Morrison would show up late and have some overly complicated excuse.  Morrison did just that and it was hard not to smile at Craig’s exasperation.  At the same time, it is made clear that the main reason that Craig is upset is because his granddaughter has been taken away from him.  It was hard not to feel bad for him, even when he was biting everyone’s heads off.

This was not a happy episode.  No one in the hospital seems to be doing well.  Bobby is bitter.  Dr. Craig is angry.  Elliott is feeling defeated.  And Westphall …. well, he’s just Westphall.  Fortunately, the strong cast and the smart writing made up for the fact that St. Eligius isn’t a happy place right now.

Seriously, I could watch William Daniels yell at people all day.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.5 “Slice O’Life”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, it’s a busy few days in Boston.

Episode 4.5 “Slice O’Life”

(Dir by Eric Laneuville, originally aired on November 6th, 1985)

Oh, the drama!

Elliot is still struggling to lose weight.

Fiscus is having an early midlife crisis, especially when a cancer patient (Todd Susman) philosophically accepts that the treatment is going to leave him impotent.  The patient has lived a life with meaning.  What has Fiscus done?

Dr. Craig finally admits to Ellen that he knows he was too hard on their now dead son.  They are both preparing to raise their granddaughter, Barbara, in their home.  However, Yvonne’s parents (Ramon Bieri and K Callan) arrive in Boston for a visit.  They are so blue collar and, in Dr. Craig’s eyes, unsophisticated that they almost seems like caricatures of what the rich think the poor are like.  They reveal that Stephen and Yvonne asked them to serve as Barbara’s legal guardians in case anything happened.  At first, Ellen refuses to let them take Barbara.  “Get your wife in check,” Yvonne’s father says.  “I’ll see you in court,” Dr. Craig replies.

After complaining about feeling like he has a cold and then getting upset about the Hospital Board not immediately approving all of his projects, Dr. Westphall collapses in the St. Eligius stairwell.  It turns out that he has Malaria.  Apparently, a self-righteous attitude and a bunch of impractical ideas were not the only things Westphall brought home from Ethiopia.

Finally, Bobby spends another weekend up at Cape Cod.  He picks up a local woman.  They have what Bobby is probably expecting to be just another one night stand.  The woman, however, has a razor blade that she’s hidden under her tongue (yikes!) and proceeds to slice Bobby across his face.

AGCK!

Up until that ending, this was a fairly typical episode of St. Elsewhere.  It looked like the big drama was going to be the Craigs temporarily losing Barbara.  Instead, the drama is that Bobby might be dead!

Oh, poor Mark Harmon.  When he first started playing the role on this show, Bobby was portrayed as being a nice guy who was a little boring.  The show really had no idea what to do with him, other than have him occasionally take his shirt off.  For the fourth season, the show’s writers turned him into an arrogant hedonist.  On the one hand, I’m sure there are a lot of doctors like Bobby Caldwell.  On the other hand, the change really does seem to have come out of nowhere.  And now, he might be dead.  I guess the lesson here is to stay away from Cape Cod!

The attack on Bobby ultimately overshadows everything else that happened in this episode.  I will say that, before Bobby got attacked, I was enjoying Dr. Craig’s rather snobbish reaction to Yvonne’s parents.  As for Dr. Westphall …. eh.  Westphall’s kind of become a one trick pony.  He’s depressed and he wants the world to know it.  I know quite a few people like Dr. Westphall in real life, which is probably why I get so annoyed with his character on the show.

Seriously, Westphall, cheer up!

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.3 “Haunted”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

I apologize for the delay in posting this review.  I was feeling under the weather last week.  This week, I feel well enough to share this review of one of the most emotional hours of television that I’ve ever watched.

Episode 4.3 “Haunted”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on October 23rd, 1985)

This episode begins where the previous one ended.  After crashing his car, Stephen Craig and his wife, Yvonne, are rushed to the Emergency Room.  Despite the best efforts of Drs. Chandler and Axelrod, Stephen dies in the ER.  Yvonne goes into labor, eventually giving birth to Dr. Craig’s granddaughter.  Dr. Mark Craig and Ellen show up shortly after Stephen has been pronounced dead.  While Ellen immediately slips into denial (“That’s not Stephen!”), Dr. Craig calmly tells Chandler that he knows Chandler did everything that he could.

Throughout the episode, Ellen struggles with her grief while Mark holds back his emotions.  He suspects that Stephen was once again using drugs and he even goes to the autopsy to see for himself.  While Stephen’s organs are being weighed, Dr. Craig starts to talk about how he was never close to his son but how, when Stephen was young, they used to read Dr. Seuss together.  “Thank you Sam I Am,” Dr. Craig recites under his breath, right before hearing that Stephen had used cocaine shortly before dying.

For Dr. Craig, Stephen’s renewed drug use is an excuse to refuse to mourn for him.  For Ellen, Stephen’s drug use is proof that his father was too critical and pushed him too hard.  Ellen tells Mark that he never cared about Stephen except for when Stephen said he wanted to be a doctor.  As the episode ends, Dr. Craig sits in his office and thinks about the words of Dr. Seuss and finally, he starts to cry.

I cried too.  I cried a lot while watching this episode.  This was the most emotional episode of St. Elsewhere that I’ve watched so far.  Both William Daniels and Bonnie Bartlett were heartbreaking as a couple who each dealt with their grief in their own way.  It was hard to watch Ellen fall apart in the Emergency Room but it was even harder to watch Dr. Craig fall apart as he realized that his wife was right.  When Stephen was young, the only time they were close was when they read that Dr. Seuss book.  And now, that memory is all Dr. Craig has left.

There were other things that happened in this episode, of course.  One thing about St. Elsewhere is that there are always several stories going on at once.  Elliot worried about his weight, even after discovering that his girlfriend liked the fact that he wasn’t thin.  Dr. Caldwell spent the weekend at a recently purchased house in Cape Cod and Fiscus showed up unannounced.  Dr. Morrison encouraged the other male residents to donate sperm.  Dr. Westphall continued to try to push through his efforts to make St. Eligius a community-centered hospital.  But none of the other stories could match the power of Mark and Ellen Craig losing their son.  In fact, I found myself resenting being taken away from the Craigs.  “Who cares about Cape Cod!?” I said, “The Craigs have lost their son!”

This was not an easy episode to watch but, in the end, it was powerful, it was touching, and it made me cry.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.2 “Fathers and Sons”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, Dr. Craig’s son returns home.

Episode 4.2 “Fathers and Sons”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on September 25th, 1985)

In this episode, we discover what Dr. Westphall did after he left St. Eligius.  After checking Tommy into a special school for autistic children, Westphall went to Africa and volunteered his time at a clinic.  Now that he’s returned to Boston, he wants St. Eligius and its residents to follow his example.  In fact, he’s requiring it.  He wants to set up a free clinic.  He wants to set up a charity.  He tells the residents that they will now be required to volunteer in the community.  He’s planning on shaking things up.  Auschlander tells Westphall that not all of his plans are practical.  Westphall says that he doesn’t care.

Westphall also proceeds to move back into his old house and he retrieves Tommy from the school.  (Tommy responds by hitting Westphall.)  It’s actually pretty easy to see what’s happening here.  At the end of the previous season, Westphall was determined to move on with his life.  He was going to leave his depressing house.  He was going to admit that he couldn’t raise Tommy by himself.  However, now that he’s returned to Boston, Westphall is returning to his old life while expecting St. Eligius to change.  Westphall is channeling his personal frustrations into the hospital.  I don’t think this is going to go well.

Speaking of change, Luther is training to become a paramedic.  In this episode, he rides around in an ambulance with two bickering paramedics who are also a couple (played by Adam Arkin and Melanie Chartoff).  This storyline allowed the action to move beyond the confines at the hospital and, at times, it almost played like a parody of a more traditional medical show.  Luther becomes a stand-in for the viewer, watching as the domestic drama unfolds in  between medical emergencies.

The majority of the episode revolves around Dr. Craig, who is not happy that his son, Stephen (Scott Paulin), is visiting with his very pregnant wife, Yvonne (Suzanne Lederer).  When we last saw Stephen, he was a hotshot Ivy League medical student with a bright future ahead of him.  Then he got busted for drug possession and Dr. Craig stopped speaking about him.  In this episode, we learn that Stephen is now a student at Ohio State.  Stephen claims that he’s no longer on drugs but it’s obvious that Dr. Craig is never going to be able to forgive Stephen for letting him down.  That said, Dr. Craig does soften a bit when he talks to Yvonne and she lets him feel the baby kicking.

At the end of the episode, Stephen is driving down a street in Boston.  He’s just had dinner with his parents.  Yvonne is in the passenger’s seat.  A quick shot of Stephen’s eyes reveal that he’s high on something.  Yvonne screams as Stephen crashes the car.  Yikes!  That’s a frightening way to end things!

This was a good episode.  It appears that, with the start of season four, the showrunners finally figured out that Dr. Craig was the most interesting character on the show.  William Daniels and Bonnie Bartlett are both excellent in this episode.

I just hope the baby will be okay.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.1 “Remembrance Of Things Past”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, we begin season 4 of St. Elsewhere!

Episode 4.1 “Remembrance of Things Past”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on September 18th, 1985)

This week, we start a new season of St. Elsewhere!

Dr. Cavenero is no longer listed in the opening credits.  She’s not even mentioned in this episode, leaving her absence as a mystery.  The last time we saw her during the third season, she was suffering from a cold so maybe she died.  From what I’ve read, the real reason that she’s gone is because Cynthia Sikes, the actress who played her, objected to a season three storyline that would have featured her coming out as a lesbian.

From the start of this epiosde, St. Eligius seems like a happier place.  A lot of that is because Dr. Westphall is gone.  (That said, he’s still listed in the opening credits so we know, from the start, that will return.)  Doctors Craig and Aushlander are a bit overworked having to cover Westphall’s duties but still, the residents seem to be a bit more hopeful than usual in this episode.  Westphall’s perpetual glumness is no longer there to drag everyone down.

Morrison and Chandler have a conflict over a Vietnamese patient.  Morrison wants to give the patient the best care possible.  Chandler is upset because his older brother died in Vietnam and he feels like the patient doesn’t appreciate the sacrifice that Americans made during the Vietnam War.  Morrison, of course, was an anti-war teenager.  (There’s a reason why Helen Hunt calls him “boomer.”)

The whole Morrison/Chandler storyline felt a bit too heavy-handed to be effective.  While I can believe that Chandler would have his own strongly-held opinions about the war, I have a hard time believing he would be as unprofessional as he was in this episode.  Still, all of this does lead to a great scene where Morrison goes to Craig for the type of advice that he would usually get from Westphall and Craig responds by telling Morrison to get over it and concentrate on his job.

Seriously, I’ve been waiting for three seasons for someone to tell Morrison that.

Alfre Woodward joins the cast as Dr. Roxanne Turner, an OB-GYN.  In this episode, she counsels an infertile couple.  Dr. Turner wasn’t in much of the episode (and Alfre Woodard is not included in the opening credits) but I get the feeling that both she and the couple she was counseling are going to be around for a while.

The episode’s main storyline featured an amnesiac known as Joe Doe No. 6 (Oliver Clark).  After John Doe escapes from the psychiatric ward and steals a suit, he’s mistaken for Dr. Jonas Wisner, who has beent sent to St. Eligius to evaluate its teaching program.  John Doe No. 6 has a great time pretending to be Dr. Wisner and the doctors enjoy spending time with him.  Unfortunately, the real Dr. Wisner (Joseph Ruskin) shows up and the fun ends.

Oh, how I loved watching John Doe No. 6 interact with the staff.  Not only did it allow me to see the show’s characters through someone else’s eyes but it was also just an enjoyable storyline.  It was a reminder that the hospital can be an entertaining place when Westpall isn’t wandering around the hallways.

However, towards the end of this episode, Westphall showed up at the hospital.  Craig and Auschlander were happy to see him.  Westphall asked if he could have his old job back.  Of course, he can!  Really?  Didn’t Westphall walk off the job?  But apparently, he can just wander back into the hospital while wearing his hobo cap and all is forgiven.

The episode ends with Chandler taking an impromptu trip to Washington D.C. and visiting the Vietnam War Memorial.  As I watched this, it occuured to me that the memorial was still fairly new when this episoe aired.  Once I realized that, I understood why the show included the Morrison/Chandler storyline.  It pays to know history.

Season 4 is off to a good start!  I just hope Dr. Westphall doesn’t drag everyone back down.

 

Horror on TV: The Twilight Zone 1.23 “Shadow Play” (dir by Paul Lynch)


For tonight’s trip into the world of televised horror, we have an episode from a 1986 attempt to revive The Twilight Zone.

This episode is a remake of one of my favorite episodes of the original series, Shadow Play.  That’s the one where the guy is on death row but he says he’s not worried about being executed because he knows he’s just having a reoccuring nightmare.  Of course, this kind of freaks out some of the people around him because, if he’s just having a dream, what happens to them when the dream ends?

While the remake is nowhere near as good as the original, it’s still fairly well done.  Plus, it’s on YouTube and the original isn’t.

This episode was directed by Paul Lynch, the Canadian director who also directed the original Prom Night.

Enjoy!

A Movie A Day #228: Johnny Be Good (1988, directed by Bud Smith)


Johnny Walker (Anthony Michael Hall) may be the best high school quarterback in the country but he has a difficult choice to make.  He promised his girlfriend, Georgia (Uma Thurman), that he would go to the local state college with her but every other university in the country wants him.  (Even legendary sportscaster Howard Cosell calls Johnny and advises him to go to an Ivy League college.)  As Johnny tours universities across the country, he faces every temptation.  By the time he makes his decision, will Johnny still be good?

The main problem with Johnny Be Good can be found in the first sentence of the above synopsis.  Anthony Michael Hall plays the best high school quarterback in the country.  By taking on the role of Johnny Walker, Hall was obviously attempting to prove that he was capable of more than just playing nerds for John Hughes.  But Hall is never convincing as a quarterback, much less the best in the country.  Though he bulked up for the role, it is impossible to imagine Hall in a huddle, coming up with the big play that wins the game.  It’s easier to imagine Johnny getting shoved in a locker and left there until the school year ends.  Hall seems to be lost in the role and the movie never seems to be sure who Johnny Walker is supposed to be.  (Two years later, Hall would again play a jock and give a far better performance in Edward Scissorhands.)

As for the rest of the cast, Robert Downey, Jr., who plays Johnny’s teammate and best friend, is even less convincing as a football player than Hall.  In the 1980s, Downey could play a quirky sidekick in his sleep but not a wide receiver.  Paul Gleason also shows up in the movie, basically playing the same role that he played in The Breakfast Club.  Uma Thurman is sweet and pretty in her film debut but it’s a nothing role.  Fans of Cannon Picture will want to keep an eye out for Steve James, in a small role as a coach.

Poorly written and slackly directed with few laughs, Johnny Be Good fails to take its own advice.

TV Review: The Walking Dead 7.15 “Something They Need” (dir by Michael Slovis)


Hi there!  Before I get around to saying what little I have to say about tonight’s episode of The Walking Dead, I want to share something with you.

Next week is the season finale and, naturally, it’s an extended episode.  I have two fears.

  1. I fear that next week’s episode will be 70 minutes of Rick and Dwight sitting in a cell and discussing right and wrong.
  2. I also fear that the episode will end with Rick standing on a hill, looking back at all of his followers, and announcing, “And now — we attack!”  This will immediately be followed by the end credits and Talking Dead.  See you once Season 8 starts!

If either of those happen, this will be my response:

I have such mixed feelings about the pace of The Walking Dead.  On the one hand, I appreciate that it’s a show that literally takes place after the end of the world.  Civilization is over and sometimes, that is best represented by stillness.  There’s no need for anyone to hurry because there’s really nowhere to go.  There are no more jobs.  There are no more movies.  There are no more clubs.  There are no more schools.  There’s nothing.  The only thing that matters in the world of The Walking Dead is survival and, often times, it’s necessary to move slowly and with caution to survive.

On the other hand, this season has been so slow!  It feels as if it has taken Rick longer to organize this attack than it took for Lafayette to sail across the ocean and track down Gen. Washington.  Yes, I appreciate why the pace is deliberate but there’s really only so many times that you can watch the same scene play out over and over again.

Tonight was a perfect example.  It featured three storylines, all of which were way too dragged out.  Tonight was basically 30 minutes worth of story stretched out to a full hour.

In Alexandria, Gregory again showed himself incapable of … well, just about anything.  Nobody has any respect for Gregory.  Maggie had to save him from a walker.  Gregory’s either going to get killed by Negan or he’s going to get bitten by a walker.  I think he actually had the potential to be an interesting character (and Xander Berkeley is certainly a good actor) but Gregory is so obviously doomed that it’s hard to really care about him one way or the other.

In Sanctuary, Sasha is somehow not dead.  Instead, she’s in that same little cell that Daryl was in.  Negan was apparently impressed by her suicidal attack.  Why that would impress Negan, I’m not sure.  Anyway, Negan killed a savior who was on the verge of raping Sasha.  That’s a good thing, though you have to wonder if Negan set the whole thing up just so he’d have an excuse to play the hero.  He wants to bring Sasha over to his side.  Again, I’m not sure why.  Mostly, I assume that Sasha’s alive so that she can be used as a hostage if Rick ever actually gets around to launching this attack that he’s been going on about.

(In many ways, Sasha being alive epitomizes this season’s greatest flaw.  She’s not alive because there’s any real logic behind her somehow not being dead.  Instead, she’s alive so she can be used as a plot device later on.  Keeping Sasha alive comes at the price of whatever consistency had previously been established as far as Negan’s character is concerned.)

And finally, Tara told Rick about Oceanside so Rick and his people went down there and took all their guns.  The scenes of Rick bullying the Oceansiders were mixed in with scenes of Negan trying to bring Sasha over to the Saviors.  I got the feeling we were supposed to compare the contrasting leadership styles of Rick, Negan, and Gregory.  Gregory is inneffectual.  Rick will do what needs to be done but only when he doesn’t have any other choice.  Negan just talks too much.

At the end of the episode, Rosita returned from Sanctuary.  Accompanying her was … DWIGHT!  So, Dwight was the man she saw in the shadows.  Rick pointed a gun at him and told him to get on his knees.  Apparently, next week’s episode will feature Rick talking to Dwight in a cell.  I just hope they don’t spend too much time talking.

Anyway, as you can probably tell, this episode was way too slow for me.  But, at least Rick does seem to be inching closer to finally launching that attack.

HURRY UP, RICK!

Maggie and Gregory do …. something.