Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.20 “Dust to Dust”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

The cannibals are back!

Episode 2.20 “Dust to Dust”

(Dir by Bill Froehlich, originally aired on February 25th, 1990)

Tony Dow, Amy Lyndon, and Sandahl Bergman, the three cannibals from Prime Cut, are back!  They are now all living together and are members of Cannibals Anonymous.  For months, they have resisted the urge to taste human flesh.  But, when an escaped prisoner breaks into their home, they give into temptation and have a good meal.

Uh-oh, it turns out that escaped prisoner was actually an astronaut who returned to Earth infected with a space virus that eventually reduces its victims to dust.  And now, the cannibals all have the virus!  The government abducts them and takes them to an underground lab where a group of scientists dispassionately watch as they become hypersexual before going insane and turning into dust.  One scientist (Tim Russ) sympathizes with the cannibals and soon, the entire lab  is infected.

This episode had potential but it ultimately failed because it couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be funny or scary.  There’s a lot of terror to found in the idea of being held prisoner until your transformed into blue dust.  At the same time, the symptoms of the space virus were so over-the-top and the actors went so overboard in performing those symptoms that it was hard to really care about any of it.  Having the victims quote a movie before turning into dust probably seemed like a good idea but it doesn’t work in execution.  The whole thing ultimately felt like a community theater production of The Andromeda Syndrome.

Not even Freddy appeared to be that interested in this episode.

Only two more episodes to go!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.18 “Funhouse”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, a mansion is full of …. well, one surprise.

Episode 2.18 “Funhouse”

(Dir by Gilbert Adler, originally aired on February 11th, 1990)

Turk (Todd Allen), the moving man, is busy this week.

In our first story, Turk helps a young married couple, Emma (Robin Greer) and Robert Palmer (Clayton Landey), move into an old mansion.  Turk talks about how the previous owners came to a bad end.  Emma finds herself having dreams in which both Turk and her former lover, Colin (Joseph Brutsman), come aftter her.  She comes to realize that the house is not haunted by a ghost but instead by a man looking for revenge.  As is often the case with these type of stories, it all ends with a booby trap involving a bed of nails.  Yikes!

In our second story, Turk helps another couple move into the house, Evelyn (Valerie Wildman) and her much older husband, Victor Hall (Robert Dowdell).  This time, it’s Turk who ends up getting seduced by both Evelyn and the maid, Jillian (Laura Austin).  However, it all turns out to be an elaborate game tht Evelyn, Victor, and Jillian enjoy playing.  The bed of spikes booby trap makes yet another appearance and it’s so cool that it doesn’t even matter that Freddy’s Nightmares basically just repeated the twist from the first story in the second story.

This episode was fun.  There really wasn’t anything supernatural going on but the cast of both stories seemed to enjoy playing up the noirsh aspects of their characters and Todd Allen was amusing as the cocky but stupid Turk.  The bed of nails was an enjoyable macabre little twist.

Even at its best, Freddy’s Nightmares tended to be incredibly uneven but this was actually an enjoyable little episode.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.10 “Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, we get a sequel to a previous episode.

Episode 2.10 “Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?”

(Dir by Bill Froehlich, originally aired on December 10th, 1989)

In this sequel to Bloodlines, an episode that I didn’t particularly care for, Patty Burton (Courtney Gebhart) is still locked up in the basement of the Burton home.  When college student Lisa Wax (Suzanne Tara) comes over to babysit little Will Burton (Christopher Finefrok), she is not happy to learn that there is apparently a crazy woman in the basement. Lisa keeps falling asleep and having nightmares about being dragged into the basement.  Then, she actually is dragged into the basement and Patty, who now looks like Lisa, escapes. By an amazing coincidence, Patty ends up at Lisa’s house, where Lisa’s mom (Sharon Farrell) assumes that Patty is Lisa.  When the real Lisa manages to escape from the basement, she shows up at home and is shot and killed by her own mother.  Patty then returns to her home and exiles her parents (Chris Nash and Jeannine Lewis) to the basement.  The episode ends with Patty approaching Will.

Yikes!

This was a dark episode.  I wouldn’t necessarily say it was scary.  The scenes where Lisa (hey, that’s my name!) hears Patty in the basement are so overdone that they inspired more laughter than chills.  But the idea of someone stealing your identity and then getting your own mother to shoot you because she doesn’t recognize you?  That’s definitely creepy!

As for the ending …. I never liked the Burtons.  I didn’t like them in Bloodlines and I didn’t like them here.  I feel bad for Will but the parents?  They got what they deserved.