Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.13 “Now Sit Right Back And You’ll Hear A Tale”

Posted on August 1, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, Eddie suffers a serious injury.

A quick note, before we begin: this episode was actually the 16th episode to air during the second season but apparently, it was originally meant to be the 13th episode and, in reruns, it usually airs after the Reunion episode. I’ve decided to go with the production order for the purpose of these reviews. Of course, it really doesn’t matter because it’s not like Baywatch had any use for continuity to begin with.

Episode 2.13 “Now Sit Right Back and You’ll Hear a Tale”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on February 24th, 1992)

After rescuing a jet skier who ran out of fuel in the middle of the ocean, Eddie and Shauni discover a previously unchartered island. (Or, at least, that’s what we’re told. The beach that Eddie and Shauni explore is obviously the same beach from last week’s Reunion episode.) On the beach, they find Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Mary Ann (Dawn Wells), who have been stranded on the island ever since the 60s. Eddie and Shauni take them back to civilization.

Captain Thorpe is so impressed with Gilligan and Mary Ann’s story that he decides that he’s going to start his own media company and produce a miniseries about their life on the Island. He also thinks that it would be a good idea to go back to the island and rescue the other castaways. (Gee, you think?) He arranges for a three-hour expedition to the island. Garner will serve as the skipper. Eddie will be the first mate. Harvey is coming along as a professor, for some reason. Shauni wants to star in the miniseries so she decides to dress up like a movie star and come on the tour as well.

Uh-oh, there’s a storm! Everyone ends up washed up on the island. Eddie finds himself torn between Mary Ann and Shauni but then he realizes that Gilligan is the one who truly loves Mary Ann….

No, I’m not making this up. Stop it, I swear I’m not.

Eventually, Eddie wakes up in Baywatch Headquarters. It turns out that he slipped and hit his head earlier and the entire episode has been a dream. (Shocker!) It sound like Eddie probably has a severe concussion but no one seems to be too concerned about that.

Hasselhoff appears for a few minutes at the start and the end of the episode. Apparently, he knew better than to board the boat.

Oh God, this episode. Well, actually, this episode makes sense once you learn that Douglas Schwartz (who both directed this week and also served as executive producer of the show) was the nephew of Sherwood Schwartz, the producer of Gilligan’s Island. It’s a silly episode but Baywatch is a silly show so that’s to be expected. The episode’s main mistake is that it opens with Eddie watching an episode of Gilligan’s Island and then it shows us Eddie slipping and hitting his head. As a result, we pretty much know the whole episode is a dream from the start and we spend the entire episode waiting for Eddie to wake up. It’s kind of boring.

Next week …. oh, who knows? I’m sure it’ll be something involving a lot of slow motion running on the beach.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.7 “Sandcastles”

Posted on June 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s Eddie vs Hector the Collector!

Episode 2.7 “Sandcastles”

(Dir by Monte Markham, originally aired on October 28th, 1991)

Eddie is freaking out because there’s too many homeless people on the beach. As he explains it to Shauni, he’s always feared that he could end up homeless. When Shauni suggests that maybe the homeless could live on a deserted army base, Eddie says that people like that are never willing to accept help. Eddie is really not a fan of the homeless!

Of course, in Eddie’s defense, he does get stabbed in the shoulder by a homeless man at the start of this episode. Hector the Collector (Ron Howard George) not only breaks into Eddie’s lifeguard tower but he also tries to steal a framed photograph of Shauni. When Eddie tries to stop him, Hector plunges a shard of glass into Eddie’s shoulder!

Hobie, meanwhile, is having a far better experience with the homeless. He meets Charlie (played by a young Nikki Cox), who is living in an abandoned power plant with her mother (Wendy Robie, who played the one-eyed Nadine on Twin Peaks). When Charlie’s mother disappears, Hobie helps Charlie look for her. When Hector the Collector steals Charlie’s journal, the entire Baywatch crew is there to help her get it back. Fortunately, Mitch is also there to save Charlie when she gets shoved into the ocean by Hector.

WOW! What is Hector’s problem!?

“Mine! Mine!” Hector hisses whenever anyone tries to take back any of the stuff that he’s stolen.

Calm down, Hector!

Meanwhile, Harvey needs a new place to live. Harvey? Oh yeah, he’s the new goofy lifeguard. He can’t sleep in his tower. He can’t live with Mitch. However, Harvey finds a big house with a pool and immediately imagines hundreds of swimsuit-clad women beckoning him to swim with him. This episode has two musical montages, one involving the homeless and one involving Harvey and a bunch of imaginary women. I’m getting the feeling that Baywatch really wasn’t that concerned with the problem of homelessness in Los Angeles.

Baywatch was (and, since it’s been revived for the upcoming television season, is) a very odd show. This episode deals with a very real social problem and David Hasselhoff is so earnest in the scenes that he shares with Nikki Cox that you can’t help but feel that maybe the Hoff’s heart was in the right place. But the show itself always seems more concerned with getting to the next beach shot. Watching this episode, you can hear the producers whispering, “Don’t worry, we’re not going to spend too much time with these homeless people….”

Anyway, the important thing is that everything works out for the best. Harvey moves in with some flight attendants. Charlie is reunited with her mother. And Hector the Collector gets the help he needs. Don’t you worry, Baywatch will be always there.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”

Posted on May 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we meet Mitch’s brother.

Episode 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on October 14th, 1991)

Mitch’s brother, Buzz (Tim Thomerson), shows up with his 12 year-old son, Kyle (Chance Michael Corbitt)! Mitch is reunited with Buzz and they both realize that they’re two old beach bums who are not getting any younger. That’s especially true in the case of Buzz. The show makes it clear that Buzz is Mitch’s older brother but we’re still left wondering just how much older. With his gray hair and his weathered features, Tim Thomerson looks like he’s nearly 70 while Hasselhoff appears to be in his late 30s.

And that’s pretty much it.

Okay, in all fairness to the show, there is a bit more of a plot than just Buzz showing up but none of it adds up to much. Mitch’s girlfriend, reporter Kaye Morgan (Pamela Bach), is pressured by her father to kill a story about a dangerous pier. Kyle has a bad attitude and has an accident while surfing at that pier. Luckily, the lifeguards are able to save him. Eduardo (Buzz Belmondo) sells bikinis on the beach but — ha ha — the bikinis dissolve when soaked in salt water. Eddie and Shauni have to help a lot of suddenly naked people get out of the water. “We’re in syndication!” the show loudly announces. Meanwhile, I’m left to wonder why you would buy a bikini from a stranger with a pencil-thin mustache.

For the most part, though, this was a montage episode. The plot was secondary to the music playing behind slickly edited montages of Buzz and Mitch bonding. Buzz and Kyle leave town at the end of the episode but, given how close Buzz and Mitch are, I’m sure that Buzz will return frequently in the future.

(Buzz will never be seen again.)

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.4 “Money, Honey”

Posted on May 16, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week is pretty pointless.

Episosde 2.4 “Money, Honey”

(Dir by Monte Markham, originally aired on October 7th, 1991)

When Mitch and Eddie are hired to serve as lifeguards at a Hollywood party, film producer Dita (Leslie Easterbrook) is impressed when she sees Mitch respond to a boating accident. She decides to make Mitch into a movie star. Everyone knows that Mitch can swim and run in slow motion but can he deliver scripted lines? Dita doesn’t care. She just wants to sleep with him. That goes against Mitch’s ethics so his film career ends before it even begins. Meanwhile, Shauni puts together a benefit to protect a sea lion habitat. At first, it looks like Shauni won’t be able to raise the money but then Mitch donates his movie paycheck to the cause.

This was a montage episode of Baywatch. There really wasn’t much of a plot but there certainly were a lot of montages. Watch as Mitch nervously sits in the makeup chair. Watch as a bunch of bikini-clad beachgoers gather for Shauni’s benefit. Listen to the music. Watch the images. Don’t worry about a thing….

In short, this was a pretty pointless episode. That said, the sea lions were cute and the scene where Captain Thorpe tried to teach Mitch how to audition did make me smile. It’s interesting that it took only four episodes for the syndicated version of Baywatch to fall into the pattern that would definite it for the next ten years.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.1 “The Bulls Own Up”

Posted on May 13, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, we start season 4.

Episode 4.1 “The Bulls Own Up”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 5th, 1988)

It’s time for a new season of 1st & Ten and things have changed!

Yinessa is nowhere to be seen. Instead, this episode features a college quarterback named Sonny Clowers (Gary Kasper) who is being courted by agent Max Green (Mark Lonow). Also not around is Jill Schrader, the team’s owner. She has sold the team to a fast food chain. The new owner of the Bulls is Charles (Monte Markham). In his first meeting with TD Parker (OJ Simpson), Charles explains that he runs a clean-cut, all-American company and he expects the Bulls to be a clean-cut, all-American team.

In other words, it’s time to trade all of the trouble makers and the drug abusers. Charles doesn’t want a team of individuals. He wants a team of …. well, whatever the opposite of an individual is.

TD is not happy to hear about this. Neither is Mad Dog, who is revealed to come from a fabulously wealthy family. Mad Dog’s father wants Mad Dog to do something that requires more skill than football. Hmmm …. maybe Mad Dog and all the other players could form their own company and buy the team themselves?

That doesn’t really sound like a great idea to me. How can you release or trade a player when that player owns the team? However, TD thinks that it’s a good idea. Zagreb thinks it’s a good idea. And Dr. Death shows up for practice in a three-piece suit, which somehow convinces everyone else that it’s a good idea!

Why do I get the feeling that this idea will dropped after six episodes?

This was an okay season opener. The Bulls being sold to a fast food chain certainly makes more sense than Delta Burke acquiring them in a divorce settlement. OJ Simpson recoiling at the thought of the team being expected to avoid scandal? That was almost to on the nose!

Finally, I can’t end this review without saying Donald Gibb, RIP. On a show not known for great acting, Gibb was definitely the exception.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”

Posted on May 2, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we start season 2 of Baywatch. Canceled by NBC, Baywatch found a new home in syndication. The show was re-launched with a special two-hour premiere. (For subsequent re-airings, the premiere was split into two episodes.)

Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on September 23rd, 1991)

A year and half after the final episode of Bayside’s network run, the show returns to the beach.

On the one hand, the basic idea is the same. David Hasselhoff plays Mitch Buchanan, a divorced father who loves nothing more than being a lifeguard. Eddie (Billy Warlock) and Shauni (Erika Eleniak) are two young lifeguards who are in love (though their engagement from the previous season is not mentioned). Don Thorpe (Monte Markham) is Mitch’s no-nonsense boss. The sunsets are still beautiful. The beaches are still inviting.

And yet, there are a few differences:

Craig, Cort, Gina, Garner, and Trevor are nowhere to be seen. (Craig, Cort, and Garner will all eventually return. Gina and Trevor will never be mentioned again.)
Hobie, Mitch’s son, is now played by Jeremy Jackson.
Richard Jaeckel, who played doomed life guard Al Edwards in the pilot film, is now playing Ben Edwards, who apparently is meant to be the same character as Al. (Mitch specifically mentions that Ben broke his leg when the pier collapsed, retconning Al’s heroic death into a mere injury.)
Cort may be gone but there’s a new money-hungry lifeguard named Harvey (Tim McTigue).
The second season premiere features even more musical montages than appeared in the first season.
The second season premiere features a lot of random shots of women in skimpy bikinis.
The red Baywatch one-piece swimsuits are back but now, they’re considerably tighter and more high-cut.
The new Baywatch was airing in syndication.

I get the feeling that the Baywatch cameraman probably got together and all chanted, “Syndication, baby!” before running out onto the beach. Even though the second season premiere is still far from what Baywatch would eventually become, one can already see the development of the aesthetic that led to it becoming the number one show for 90s frat boys and dads suffering from a midlife crisis.

As for this episode, there are rumors of an underwater monster and everyone wants in on the action. Mitch saves an underwater photographer and falls in love for an episode. Hasslehoff’s then-wife, Pamela Bach, plays a reporter whose editor wants sensationalized stories about the “beast of the bay.” Of course, the beast of the bay is actually just the creation of an offshore oil company who wants to drill and ruin the environment because why not? Luckily, one of the lifeguard, Devon (Andrea Thompson), is also an environmental activist. Of course, Andrea Thompson is not listed in the opening credits so I imagine we’ll never see Devon again.

While Mitch is investigating the monster, Shauni rescues a little girl from drowning and then gets involved in the family’s life. The family is black and the little girl’s brother is being recruited by a street gang so the very white Shauni arranges from him to join the junior lifeguards instead. Shauni’s critical father (Albert Stratton) is impressed but I have to admit that I found the storyline to be a bit condescending. Like a lot of 90s shows, Baywatch was at its weakest when it tried to deal with real-life issues. It’s hard not to notice that whenever a guest actor who wasn’t white showed up on episode of Baywatch, they were always either being tempted or pressured to join a gang or they were trying to get out of the gang lifestyle.

In this episode, there’s an odd moment when Hobie decides to go into a storm drain and pretend to be the monster, which leads to a panic on the beach and monster hunters showing up with guns. Mitch shows up and ends the situation before it gets too out-of-hand but you really do have to wonder if maybe Hobie would be better off with his mother. I mean, seriously, Mitch — what are you doing here? Your son is apparently an idiot who never learned anything from the dozen or so times his life was put in danger during the first season.

Finally, Thorpe gets promoted and he wants Mitch to take his place as chief. Mitch argues that the new chief should be Ben Edwards. Since apparently Ben has the power to come back from the dead, I can see Mitch’s logic. In the end, Thorpe agrees.

And that’s it for this episode. It’s definitely Baywatch but it’s still not quite as fun as the show would eventually become once it fully embraced just how ludicrous things could get in syndication. This episode — and I imagine the rest of this season — feels like a show that is still making the transition from network television to anything-goes syndication. Eventually, the show will get David Charvet, Pamela Anderson, and David “The Bulge” Chokachi. During season 2, it was still just Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.21 “The End?”

Posted on April 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we finish off the first season of Baywatch.

Episode 1.21 “The End?”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on April 6th, 1990)

This the end, my only friend, the end….

Earthquake! The ground shakes in Los Angeles and the result is pure chaos. While Mitch oversees the rescue operations, Shauni tries to get over her fear of natural disasters, Eddie helps a pregnant woman deliver twins in his lifeguard tower, Gina finds herself pinned under a shelf at the loft, and Craig and Cort are trapped in an underwater cave. Have none of these people noticed that hanging out with Cort always leads to stuff like this happening?

We see a news report that says that five people died in the earthquake. Fortunately, none of those people were a character on Baywatch. (Though, now that I think about it, when was the last time anyone saw Trevor?) The LAPD dive team saves Cort and Craig. Hobie helps Gina get out from underneath that shelf. Eddie and Shauni work together to help deliver those twins and then, as the sun sets behind them, Eddie asks, “Will you marry me?” Shauni nods as the theme music starts up….

Was this the end? It was meant to be. After a season of declining ratings and raising production costs, NBC decided to cancel Baywatch. I guess the executives figured that, if even a shark attack failed to get people to watch, it was best just to move on. Baywatch decided to go out with an episode about an earthquake because it was a California show and California is all about the ground moving under your feet. It actually turned out to be one of the better episodes of the first season, specifically because it focused on lifeguards and other first responders doing their job. There were no silly plots about gamblers or Mitch’s love life or anything else. This was Baywatch the way it probably should have been. But it was too late to keep the show alive on network television.

That said, the Hoff believed in Baywatch and, working with the show’s producers, he brought it back in syndication. This episode was the end of Baywatch on NBC but it was just the beginning of the show that would go on to epitomize a decade.

We’ll start season 2 next week.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.19 “The Big Race”

Posted on April 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Cort needs money!

Episode 1.19 “The Big Race”

(Dir by Kevin Inch, originally aired on March 16th, 1990)

This episode opens with Cort trying to impress a woman who is convinced that he’s rich. He and Eddie illegally break into someone else’s yacht and Eddie dressed up in a tuxedo so he can pretend to be Cort’s butler. The meeting goes well into the woman asks Cort to donate $10,000 to a retirement home and Cort impulsively says yes.

Now, he has to come up with $10,000!

Luckily, there’s a water ski race coming up and the grand prize is $15,000. Cort, Mitch, and Craig enter and …. well, do you need me to tell you that they win despite the efforts of a bunch of snobby vandals?

Meanwhile, Shauni is scared to get in the water. She’s haunted by slow motion flashbacks of Jill getting attacked by that shark. (This is the rare episode of Baywatch that actually acknowledges that something that happened in another episode.) I guess Shauni’s going to have to quit being a lifeguard now. Oh wait — luckily, someone almost drowns and Shauni’s instincts overpower her fear. With the help of Michael Newman — NEWMIE! — Shauni finds the courage to do her job.

At least Shauni is still mourning Jill. No one else seems to care. Seriously, if you think about it — two lifeguards have died in the line of duty over the past two weeks and no one really seems that upset about it.

No wonder some people stand in the darkness.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.18 “Shark Derby”

Posted on April 4, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a lifeguard dies!

Episode 1.18 “Shark Derby”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonann, originally aired on March 2nd, 1990)

Hey, remember Jill?

Jill, played by Shawn Weatherly, was a major character at the start of the season. She was the tough, seasoned lifeguard who was one of Mitch’s best friends. She was also Shauni’s mentor. If Shauni was often silly and superficial, Jill was all business. She also had a brief flirtation with Trevor, before Trevor vanished from the show.

As the first season progressed, Jill became less and less important. In this week’s episode, Jill finally gets to do something, She dies! She dies after being attacked by a shark who was drawn to the beach by an unethical restaurant owner (Peter Brown) who has been pouring chum into the ocean and who has also placed some sort of transmitter underwater that sends out a high-pitched tone that only sharks can hear. The restauranter is just doing it to promote his annual shark derby. However, when one of the sharks attacks a raft full of school children, Jill swims out into the ocean to save them. And she ends up getting bitten by a shark. She doesn’t lose any limbs. In fact, we don’t see any blood at all. But, at the hospital, it’s announced that Jill has over two hundred sutures. Yikes!

Despite getting chomped by a shark, it first appears as if Jill will survive. But towards the end of the episode, even as she’s preparing to leave the hospital, she develops a blood cot that kills her, off-screen. David Hasselhoff gets to show off his ability to cry onscreen. To be honest, that’s the main reason this episode works. We don’t really know enough about Jill to get too emotionally involved in her situation. But Hasselhoff is so incredibly earnest and sincere in his grief that he gets to you. Jill must have been someone amazing if the Hoff is crying.

This episode was shameless and emotionally manipulative and it was pure Baywatch. This episode also featured a record number of slo mo of doom scenes. The shark attacked in slow motion. Jill and Craig yelled at people to get out of the water in slow motion. Is it really slow motion if no one yells? I’m not sure.

So, Jill is dead. But the Hoff and the rest are still alive and ready to save swimmers across California.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.17 “Eclipse”

Posted on March 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Eddie’s incompetence continues.

Episode 1.17 “Eclipse”

(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on February 23rd, 1990)

After Kirby (Lance Wilson-White), the lifeguard that Eddie was supposed to be training, mysteriously drowns, Eddie loses his job and is shunned by every lifeguard in California.

Well, that’s what should have happened. Instead, everyone tells Eddie that it wasn’t his fault and goes out of their way to make sure that Eddie isn’t beating himself up over one unfortunate death. We don’t actually see Mitch or Captain Thorpe calling up Kirby’s family to offer condolences. We don’t see Kirby’s funeral or Kirby getting the traditional fallen lifeguard salute. Kirby? Who’s Kirby?

Instead, Eddie meets with a psychiatrist (Dr. Joyce Brothers) and later admits that his sister drowned when he was a child and that’s why he feels so guilty about what happened to Kirby. Everyone is more upset about Eddie’s sister than they are Kirby.

Meanwhile, Eddie searches the beach for a ghostly woman in a white nightgown. Eddie and Craig’s wife, Gina (Holly Gagnier), speculate that the woman is the ghost of someone who burned down the lighthouse decades ago. Mitch theorizes that the woman is an escaped mental patient. The woman later turns up on the beach, dead from drowning. Again, nobody seems to be too upset. Aren’t these people supposed to be lifeguards?

While this is going on, Hobie discovers that his friend Katie (Hayley Carr) is going to have to euthanize her dog because it bit her family’s landlord. Katie runs away and Hobie hides both her and the dog at his house. Mitch is not happy about this but he does agree to adopt the dog so it won’t be killed. Yay!

This episode was dumb. Apparently, as long as Eddie’s feeling better, it doesn’t matter that two people drowned. Stay away from Malibu, folks.