Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, we meet Mitch’s brother.
Episode 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”
(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on October 14th, 1991)
Mitch’s brother, Buzz (Tim Thomerson), shows up with his 12 year-old son, Kyle (Chance Michael Corbitt)! Mitch is reunited with Buzz and they both realize that they’re two old beach bums who are not getting any younger. That’s especially true in the case of Buzz. The show makes it clear that Buzz is Mitch’s older brother but we’re still left wondering just how much older. With his gray hair and his weathered features, Tim Thomerson looks like he’s nearly 70 while Hasselhoff appears to be in his late 30s.
And that’s pretty much it.
Okay, in all fairness to the show, there is a bit more of a plot than just Buzz showing up but none of it adds up to much. Mitch’s girlfriend, reporter Kaye Morgan (Pamela Bach), is pressured by her father to kill a story about a dangerous pier. Kyle has a bad attitude and has an accident while surfing at that pier. Luckily, the lifeguards are able to save him. Eduardo (Buzz Belmondo) sells bikinis on the beach but — ha ha — the bikinis dissolve when soaked in salt water. Eddie and Shauni have to help a lot of suddenly naked people get out of the water. “We’re in syndication!” the show loudly announces. Meanwhile, I’m left to wonder why you would buy a bikini from a stranger with a pencil-thin mustache.
For the most part, though, this was a montage episode. The plot was secondary to the music playing behind slickly edited montages of Buzz and Mitch bonding. Buzz and Kyle leave town at the end of the episode but, given how close Buzz and Mitch are, I’m sure that Buzz will return frequently in the future.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week is pretty pointless.
Episosde 2.4 “Money, Honey”
(Dir by Monte Markham, originally aired on October 7th, 1991)
When Mitch and Eddie are hired to serve as lifeguards at a Hollywood party, film producer Dita (Leslie Easterbrook) is impressed when she sees Mitch respond to a boating accident. She decides to make Mitch into a movie star. Everyone knows that Mitch can swim and run in slow motion but can he deliver scripted lines? Dita doesn’t care. She just wants to sleep with him. That goes against Mitch’s ethics so his film career ends before it even begins. Meanwhile, Shauni puts together a benefit to protect a sea lion habitat. At first, it looks like Shauni won’t be able to raise the money but then Mitch donates his movie paycheck to the cause.
This was a montage episode of Baywatch. There really wasn’t much of a plot but there certainly were a lot of montages. Watch as Mitch nervously sits in the makeup chair. Watch as a bunch of bikini-clad beachgoers gather for Shauni’s benefit. Listen to the music. Watch the images. Don’t worry about a thing….
In short, this was a pretty pointless episode. That said, the sea lions were cute and the scene where Captain Thorpe tried to teach Mitch how to audition did make me smile. It’s interesting that it took only four episodes for the syndicated version of Baywatch to fall into the pattern that would definite it for the next ten years.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.
This week, we start season 4.
Episode 4.1 “The Bulls Own Up”
(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 5th, 1988)
It’s time for a new season of 1st & Ten and things have changed!
Yinessa is nowhere to be seen. Instead, this episode features a college quarterback named Sonny Clowers (Gary Kasper) who is being courted by agent Max Green (Mark Lonow). Also not around is Jill Schrader, the team’s owner. She has sold the team to a fast food chain. The new owner of the Bulls is Charles (Monte Markham). In his first meeting with TD Parker (OJ Simpson), Charles explains that he runs a clean-cut, all-American company and he expects the Bulls to be a clean-cut, all-American team.
In other words, it’s time to trade all of the trouble makers and the drug abusers. Charles doesn’t want a team of individuals. He wants a team of …. well, whatever the opposite of an individual is.
TD is not happy to hear about this. Neither is Mad Dog, who is revealed to come from a fabulously wealthy family. Mad Dog’s father wants Mad Dog to do something that requires more skill than football. Hmmm …. maybe Mad Dog and all the other players could form their own company and buy the team themselves?
That doesn’t really sound like a great idea to me. How can you release or trade a player when that player owns the team? However, TD thinks that it’s a good idea. Zagreb thinks it’s a good idea. And Dr. Death shows up for practice in a three-piece suit, which somehow convinces everyone else that it’s a good idea!
Why do I get the feeling that this idea will dropped after six episodes?
This was an okay season opener. The Bulls being sold to a fast food chain certainly makes more sense than Delta Burke acquiring them in a divorce settlement. OJ Simpson recoiling at the thought of the team being expected to avoid scandal? That was almost to on the nose!
Finally, I can’t end this review without saying Donald Gibb, RIP. On a show not known for great acting, Gibb was definitely the exception.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, we start season 2 of Baywatch. Canceled by NBC, Baywatch found a new home in syndication. The show was re-launched with a special two-hour premiere. (For subsequent re-airings, the premiere was split into two episodes.)
Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”
(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on September 23rd, 1991)
On the one hand, the basic idea is the same. David Hasselhoff plays Mitch Buchanan, a divorced father who loves nothing more than being a lifeguard. Eddie (Billy Warlock) and Shauni (Erika Eleniak) are two young lifeguards who are in love (though their engagement from the previous season is not mentioned). Don Thorpe (Monte Markham) is Mitch’s no-nonsense boss. The sunsets are still beautiful. The beaches are still inviting.
And yet, there are a few differences:
Craig, Cort, Gina, Garner, and Trevor are nowhere to be seen. (Craig, Cort, and Garner will all eventually return. Gina and Trevor will never be mentioned again.)
Hobie, Mitch’s son, is now played by Jeremy Jackson.
Richard Jaeckel, who played doomed life guard Al Edwards in the pilot film, is now playing Ben Edwards, who apparently is meant to be the same character as Al. (Mitch specifically mentions that Ben broke his leg when the pier collapsed, retconning Al’s heroic death into a mere injury.)
Cort may be gone but there’s a new money-hungry lifeguard named Harvey (Tim McTigue).
The second season premiere features even more musical montages than appeared in the first season.
The second season premiere features a lot of random shots of women in skimpy bikinis.
The red Baywatch one-piece swimsuits are back but now, they’re considerably tighter and more high-cut.
The new Baywatch was airing in syndication.
I get the feeling that the Baywatch cameraman probably got together and all chanted, “Syndication, baby!” before running out onto the beach. Even though the second season premiere is still far from what Baywatch would eventually become, one can already see the development of the aesthetic that led to it becoming the number one show for 90s frat boys and dads suffering from a midlife crisis.
As for this episode, there are rumors of an underwater monster and everyone wants in on the action. Mitch saves an underwater photographer and falls in love for an episode. Hasslehoff’s then-wife, Pamela Bach, plays a reporter whose editor wants sensationalized stories about the “beast of the bay.” Of course, the beast of the bay is actually just the creation of an offshore oil company who wants to drill and ruin the environment because why not? Luckily, one of the lifeguard, Devon (Andrea Thompson), is also an environmental activist. Of course, Andrea Thompson is not listed in the opening credits so I imagine we’ll never see Devon again.
While Mitch is investigating the monster, Shauni rescues a little girl from drowning and then gets involved in the family’s life. The family is black and the little girl’s brother is being recruited by a street gang so the very white Shauni arranges from him to join the junior lifeguards instead. Shauni’s critical father (Albert Stratton) is impressed but I have to admit that I found the storyline to be a bit condescending. Like a lot of 90s shows, Baywatch was at its weakest when it tried to deal with real-life issues. It’s hard not to notice that whenever a guest actor who wasn’t white showed up on episode of Baywatch, they were always either being tempted or pressured to join a gang or they were trying to get out of the gang lifestyle.
In this episode, there’s an odd moment when Hobie decides to go into a storm drain and pretend to be the monster, which leads to a panic on the beach and monster hunters showing up with guns. Mitch shows up and ends the situation before it gets too out-of-hand but you really do have to wonder if maybe Hobie would be better off with his mother. I mean, seriously, Mitch — what are you doing here? Your son is apparently an idiot who never learned anything from the dozen or so times his life was put in danger during the first season.
Finally, Thorpe gets promoted and he wants Mitch to take his place as chief. Mitch argues that the new chief should be Ben Edwards. Since apparently Ben has the power to come back from the dead, I can see Mitch’s logic. In the end, Thorpe agrees.
And that’s it for this episode. It’s definitely Baywatch but it’s still not quite as fun as the show would eventually become once it fully embraced just how ludicrous things could get in syndication. This episode — and I imagine the rest of this season — feels like a show that is still making the transition from network television to anything-goes syndication. Eventually, the show will get David Charvet, Pamela Anderson, and David “The Bulge” Chokachi. During season 2, it was still just Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, we finish off the first season of Baywatch.
Episode 1.21 “The End?”
(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on April 6th, 1990)
This the end, my only friend, the end….
Earthquake! The ground shakes in Los Angeles and the result is pure chaos. While Mitch oversees the rescue operations, Shauni tries to get over her fear of natural disasters, Eddie helps a pregnant woman deliver twins in his lifeguard tower, Gina finds herself pinned under a shelf at the loft, and Craig and Cort are trapped in an underwater cave. Have none of these people noticed that hanging out with Cort always leads to stuff like this happening?
We see a news report that says that five people died in the earthquake. Fortunately, none of those people were a character on Baywatch. (Though, now that I think about it, when was the last time anyone saw Trevor?) The LAPD dive team saves Cort and Craig. Hobie helps Gina get out from underneath that shelf. Eddie and Shauni work together to help deliver those twins and then, as the sun sets behind them, Eddie asks, “Will you marry me?” Shauni nods as the theme music starts up….
Was this the end? It was meant to be. After a season of declining ratings and raising production costs, NBC decided to cancel Baywatch. I guess the executives figured that, if even a shark attack failed to get people to watch, it was best just to move on. Baywatch decided to go out with an episode about an earthquake because it was a California show and California is all about the ground moving under your feet. It actually turned out to be one of the better episodes of the first season, specifically because it focused on lifeguards and other first responders doing their job. There were no silly plots about gamblers or Mitch’s love life or anything else. This was Baywatch the way it probably should have been. But it was too late to keep the show alive on network television.
That said, the Hoff believed in Baywatch and, working with the show’s producers, he brought it back in syndication. This episode was the end of Baywatch on NBC but it was just the beginning of the show that would go on to epitomize a decade.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
Cort needs money!
Episode 1.19 “The Big Race”
(Dir by Kevin Inch, originally aired on March 16th, 1990)
This episode opens with Cort trying to impress a woman who is convinced that he’s rich. He and Eddie illegally break into someone else’s yacht and Eddie dressed up in a tuxedo so he can pretend to be Cort’s butler. The meeting goes well into the woman asks Cort to donate $10,000 to a retirement home and Cort impulsively says yes.
Now, he has to come up with $10,000!
Luckily, there’s a water ski race coming up and the grand prize is $15,000. Cort, Mitch, and Craig enter and …. well, do you need me to tell you that they win despite the efforts of a bunch of snobby vandals?
Meanwhile, Shauni is scared to get in the water. She’s haunted by slow motion flashbacks of Jill getting attacked by that shark. (This is the rare episode of Baywatch that actually acknowledges that something that happened in another episode.) I guess Shauni’s going to have to quit being a lifeguard now. Oh wait — luckily, someone almost drowns and Shauni’s instincts overpower her fear. With the help of Michael Newman — NEWMIE! — Shauni finds the courage to do her job.
At least Shauni is still mourning Jill. No one else seems to care. Seriously, if you think about it — two lifeguards have died in the line of duty over the past two weeks and no one really seems that upset about it.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, a lifeguard dies!
Episode 1.18 “Shark Derby”
(Dir by Gregory J. Bonann, originally aired on March 2nd, 1990)
Hey, remember Jill?
Jill, played by Shawn Weatherly, was a major character at the start of the season. She was the tough, seasoned lifeguard who was one of Mitch’s best friends. She was also Shauni’s mentor. If Shauni was often silly and superficial, Jill was all business. She also had a brief flirtation with Trevor, before Trevor vanished from the show.
As the first season progressed, Jill became less and less important. In this week’s episode, Jill finally gets to do something, She dies! She dies after being attacked by a shark who was drawn to the beach by an unethical restaurant owner (Peter Brown) who has been pouring chum into the ocean and who has also placed some sort of transmitter underwater that sends out a high-pitched tone that only sharks can hear. The restauranter is just doing it to promote his annual shark derby. However, when one of the sharks attacks a raft full of school children, Jill swims out into the ocean to save them. And she ends up getting bitten by a shark. She doesn’t lose any limbs. In fact, we don’t see any blood at all. But, at the hospital, it’s announced that Jill has over two hundred sutures. Yikes!
Despite getting chomped by a shark, it first appears as if Jill will survive. But towards the end of the episode, even as she’s preparing to leave the hospital, she develops a blood cot that kills her, off-screen. David Hasselhoff gets to show off his ability to cry onscreen. To be honest, that’s the main reason this episode works. We don’t really know enough about Jill to get too emotionally involved in her situation. But Hasselhoff is so incredibly earnest and sincere in his grief that he gets to you. Jill must have been someone amazing if the Hoff is crying.
This episode was shameless and emotionally manipulative and it was pure Baywatch. This episode also featured a record number of slo mo of doom scenes. The shark attacked in slow motion. Jill and Craig yelled at people to get out of the water in slow motion. Is it really slow motion if no one yells? I’m not sure.
So, Jill is dead. But the Hoff and the rest are still alive and ready to save swimmers across California.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
This week, Eddie’s incompetence continues.
Episode 1.17 “Eclipse”
(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on February 23rd, 1990)
After Kirby (Lance Wilson-White), the lifeguard that Eddie was supposed to be training, mysteriously drowns, Eddie loses his job and is shunned by every lifeguard in California.
Well, that’s what should have happened. Instead, everyone tells Eddie that it wasn’t his fault and goes out of their way to make sure that Eddie isn’t beating himself up over one unfortunate death. We don’t actually see Mitch or Captain Thorpe calling up Kirby’s family to offer condolences. We don’t see Kirby’s funeral or Kirby getting the traditional fallen lifeguard salute. Kirby? Who’s Kirby?
Instead, Eddie meets with a psychiatrist (Dr. Joyce Brothers) and later admits that his sister drowned when he was a child and that’s why he feels so guilty about what happened to Kirby. Everyone is more upset about Eddie’s sister than they are Kirby.
Meanwhile, Eddie searches the beach for a ghostly woman in a white nightgown. Eddie and Craig’s wife, Gina (Holly Gagnier), speculate that the woman is the ghost of someone who burned down the lighthouse decades ago. Mitch theorizes that the woman is an escaped mental patient. The woman later turns up on the beach, dead from drowning. Again, nobody seems to be too upset. Aren’t these people supposed to be lifeguards?
While this is going on, Hobie discovers that his friend Katie (Hayley Carr) is going to have to euthanize her dog because it bit her family’s landlord. Katie runs away and Hobie hides both her and the dog at his house. Mitch is not happy about this but he does agree to adopt the dog so it won’t be killed. Yay!
This episode was dumb. Apparently, as long as Eddie’s feeling better, it doesn’t matter that two people drowned. Stay away from Malibu, folks.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.
The drudgery of season 1 continues.
Episode 1.15 “Muddy Waters”
(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on February 2nd, 1990)
It’s a busy couple of days in Malibu!
Hobie has been getting into fights at school. Is it because the kids refuse to believe his amazing stories about his lifeguard father or is it because he has a crush on his teacher, Amanda Keller (Sherilyn Wolter)? Amanda wears glasses but takes them off whenever Mitch comes into the room so we all know what that means. Mitch is about to get a girlfriend.
Meanwhile, a picture of Shauni appears in a cheap calendar, posing in her official Baywatch bathing suit. The Captain (Monte Markham) wants to fire her but Craig proves that Shauni isn’t lying about the picture being used without Shauni’s knowledge. Not only does Craig print a calendar with the captain as “Miss March” but he also tricks the Captain into signing a release form. Shauni is vindicated. Craig’s wife complains about how sexist the calendar was. This storyline felt a bit hypocritical for a show run people who reportedly spent hours obsessing on how everyone looked in their swimsuits.
Finally, Cort and Eddie are training the junior lifeguard at the water park. An angry man who always wanted to be a lifeguard keeps loosening the bolts on the water slide. Cort, Eddie, and Garner catch him but the trouble’s not over yet! The ex-boyfriend of one of the lifeguards is making trouble and vandalizing park property. He’s captured after a dramatic chase up a water slide. Even though Cort is chasing the guy up the water slide, people keep sliding down. It felt kind of dumb, to be honest. Why not just climb the stairs to the top so that you can be there whenever the guy gets there? Why not position one lifeguard at the top and one at the bottom so the guy will eventually be caught no matter which way he climbs or slides? It seems like Eddie and Cort put a lot of people in danger for no good reason.
This episode was forgettable and dumb. That’s kind of the standard when it comes to the first season of Baywatch. Some people stand in the darkness for good reason.
Airport ’77 is the one where the plane ends up underwater.
If the first two Airport movies emphasized the competence of the the crew in both the airplane and the airport, Airport ’77 takes the opposite approach. The first of the Airport films to be released after Watergate, Airport ’77 is a cynical film where no one seems to be particularly good at his or her job. Viewers should be concerned the minute they see that Jack Lemmon is playing Captain Don Gallagher, the pilot of the soon-to-be-submerged airplane. As opposed to Charlton Heston or even the first film’s Dean Martin, Jack Lemmon was always a very emotional actor. He excelled at playing characters who were frustrated with modern life. Just as with Heston and Martin, Lennon plays a pilot who is having an affair with a flight attendant. The big difference is that, this time, the pilot is the one who desperately wants to get married while the flight attendant (played by Brenda Vacarro) is the one who doesn’t want to get tied down. As an actor, Lemmon didn’t have the arrogance of a Heston or the unflappability of Dean Martin. Instead, Jack Lemmon was the epitome of midlife ennui. He’s disillusioned and he’s beaten down. He’s America at the tail end of the 70s.
Another sign that Airport ’77 is a product of the post-Watergate era is the character of co-pilot Bob Chambers (Robert Foxworth). Chambers might seem like a nice and friendly professional but actually, he’s the one who comes up with the plan to knock out all of the passengers with sleeping gas and fly the plane into the Bermuda Triangle so that his partners-in-crime can steal the valuable art works in the cargo hold. Chambers plans is to land the plane on an unchartered isle so that he and Banker (Monte Markham) can make their escape before the rest of the people on the plane even wake up. Instead, Chambers turns out to be as incompetent a pilot as he is a criminal. He crashes the plane into the ocean, where it promptly sinks to the bottom. The impact wakes up the passengers, all of whom can only watch in horror as the ocean envelopes their plane. With the water pressure threatening to crush the plane, Captain Gallagher and engineer Stan Buchek (Darren McGavin) try to figure out how to get everyone to the surface.
As usual, the passengers are played by a collection of familiar faces. Olivia de Havilland and Joseph Cotten play former lovers who are reunited on the flight. Christopher Lee is a businessman who is unhappily married to alcoholic Lee Grant. Grant is having an affair with Lee’s business partner, Gil Gerard. A young Kathleen Quinlan plays the girlfriend of blind pianist Tom Sullivan. Robert Hooks is the bartender who ends up with a severely broken leg. As the veterinarian who is called to doctor’s duty, M. Emmet Walsh gives the best performance in the film, if just because he’s one of the few characters who really gets to surprise us. Actors like George Furth, Michael Pataki, and Tom Rosqui all wander around in the background, though I dare anyone watching to actually remember the names of the characters that they’re playing. Airport ’77 has the largest number of fatalities of any of the Airport films, largely because even the good guys aren’t really sure about how to reach the surface.
George Kennedy returns as Joe Patroni, though his role is considerably smaller in this film than it was in the first two. He shares most of his scenes with James Stewart, who plays the owner of the plane. Fortunately, neither Stewart nor Kennedy were on the plane when it crashed. Instead, they spend most of the movie in a control room, getting updates about the search. They don’t get to do much in the film but it’s impossible not to smile whenever Jimmy Stewart is onscreen, even if he is noticeably frail.
Airport ’77 is the best-made of all of the Airport films. The crash is well-directed and the scenes of water dripping into the plane are properly ominous. There’s not much depth to the characters but Jack Lemmon and Darren McGavin are likable as the two main heroes and Christopher Lee seems to be enjoying himself in a change-of-pace role. Olivia de Havilland and Joseph Cotten, two old pros, are wonderful together. That said, Airport ’77 is never as much fun as the first two films. Even with the plane underwater, it can’t match the spectacle of Karen Black having to fly a plane until Charlton Heston can be lowered into the cockpit.
Through the Shattered Lens 