Tom Lister Jr. | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, OJ has some wisdom to share.

Episode 3.8 “The Brink of Death”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on November 4th, 1987)

There’s a lot happening in this week’s episode.

For instance, Bubba and Jethro now own the bar where all of the Bulls hang out. To be honest, I thought they always owned the bar but apparently, they didn’t. As I’ve said a few times in the past, the way these episodes were edited for syndication occasionally makes it a bit difficult to actually follow the storyline.

Wide receiver Billy Cooper (Michael Toland) was kidnapped by Stuart (Richard Tanner), the nerdy guy whose girlfriend Billy stole. Stuart wrapped up Billy in a straight jacket, forced him to wear a “Dumb Jock” label on his forehead, and then filmed him screaming in fear of a bunch of fire ants. Billy’s girlfriend dumped him because Stuart was “more interesting.”

But the main plotline dealt with Dr. Death, the defensive player who was played by Donald Gibbs. While playing against Oakland, many of the Bulls were tackled by Joe “The Terminator” Morgan (Andre Newman), a notoriously dirty player. Dr. Death decided to get revenge by tackling Joe Morgan during a kick return, even though Joe had signaled for something called a fair catch. (I guess that meant that no one was supposed to touch Joe.) Joe Morgan ended up in the hospital. The owner of the Oakland team pressured Joe to press assault charges against Dr. Death, who was already feeling guilty about injuring Joe as severely as he did.

It was up to O.J. Simpson to talk some sense into Joe Morgan. O.J. went to the hospital and told Joe that football was all about getting injured. O.J. asked Joe if this was the way he wanted to go out.

By appealing to Joe’s desire to be remembered as a killer football player, OJ is able to convince Joe to drop the charges.

(I should mention that OJ himself was an early contender for the role of the actual Terminator.)

O.J. Simpsons saved the day again!

This episode was confusing. Is syndication to blame?

Episode 3.6 “The Bulls Change Hands”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on September 9th, 1987)

Diana no longer owns the Bulls!

That was the main plot development to be found in this cluttered episode of 1st & Ten. As I’ve mentioned before, the episodes of 1st & Ten that are available on Tubi are the heavily edited versions that were sold into syndication as opposed to the original, R-rated versions that appeared on HBO. With quite a few of these episodes, it’s obvious that entire plotlines have been pretty much chopped out. That certainly feels like the case here because, despite having watched the episode, I’m still not totally sure how Diane lost the Bulls in the first place.

What I do know is that she threatened to expose Teddy’s insider trading. Teddy responded by leaving the country but, before he left, he gave his ownership shares to his daughter, Jill (Leah Ayres). Teddy explains that this makes Jill the owner of the Bulls. But my understanding was that Teddy only owned half the team so it seems like that would mean Jill and Diane would now be co-owners. Perhaps I missed something in an earlier episode or maybe some line of dialogue was cut out for syndication, I’m not sure. What I do know is that Jill now owns the Bulls. The first thing she does is break up with Yinessa because she can’t be both his boss and his girlfriend.

In her final locker room speech, Diane orders the Bulls to win because Diane is taking Jill to court and she wants the team to be in the playoffs once she returns as the owner. It’s not a bad speech but again, I thought Diane still owned at least half of the team.

Meanwhile, Yinessa is back as quarterback. And he leads the Bulls to their first victory of the season. His new wide receiver, Billy Cooper (Michael Toland) catches the game-winning pass. At the same time that Billy is scoring, some guy who we’ve never seen before is shooting at him from the roof of the stadium. The police arrest the guy and Billy later discovers a bullet lodged in his helmet.

Bubba’s sex therapist (Penny Johnson) is now obsessed with him, despite Bubba’s attempts to set her up with with Jethro. I have a feeling that the Jethro/Bubba storylines were the ones that really got left on the cutting room floor when it came to editing these episodes for syndication. Jethro and Bubba have been with the show since the beginning and they’ve got prominent billing in the opening credits but, when it comes to their roles in the episodes themselves, it seems like the only thing that happens is Bubba says that he needs to get laid and then the two of them disappear for several weeks. When they do finally reappear, Bubba is always in some sort of new trouble with his wife.

Speaking of marriage, in this episode, TD Parker finally confesses to his wife that he’s been having an affair.

TD apologizes. His wife tells him to get out. Agck! I can see where this storyline is heading but OJ Simpson fighting with his wife still lands differently in 2026 than it probably did in 1987.

This episode was a mess but I guess Jill is the owner of the Bulls now and Teddy’s fled to South America. Can’t the Bull just concentrate on playing football and earning their paycheck?