Tara Dimino | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, it’s for the draft.

Episode 4.3 “Caught In The Draft”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 19th, 1988)

The Bulls attend the draft and screw everything up. It turns out that allowing the players to own the team was a really bad idea. In fact, it goes so badly that TD Parker (OJ Simpson) really deserves to be fired for suggesting it in the first place. But, nobody wants to get on TD’s bad side, for some reason.

How badly does it go?

The Bulls need a linebacker. Sonny Cowers, the phenom out of Louisiana, is available in the first round. Unfortunately, Mad Dog worries that, if he drafts Sonny, the Bulls will then either release or trade him. Seeing as how Mad Dog owns the team, I’m not really sure how he could be traded or released but whatever. Mad Dog picks a player that the team doesn’t need and Sonny is picked by another team.

Meanwhile, Jethro and Bubba insist on drafting an unheralded running back because they’re convinced the man is in their hotel room and threatening to commit suicide if he’s not drafted. It turns out that the man in the hotel room was just an actor and that the Bulls just got conned into drafting some fat guy from Tennessee.

The Bulls do get a new head coach when TD trades a sixth round draft pick for the new coach of Houston’s term, Ernie Denardo. That’s right, Denardo’s back!

The draft is such a disaster that the bank cancels their loan and the players are forced to sell the team to the fast food company that they were trying to avoid being purchased by in the first place.

I actually liked this episode. I enjoyed the chaos of the draft and it was hard not to laugh at the earnest stupidity of the players. Shouldn’t you guys be trying to draft a quarterback? I thought at one point and, for a second, I felt like a sports expert.

Seriously, they need do need to get a quarterback.

This week, OJ’s in trouble!

Episode 3.12 “Of Scalpers and Superstars”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on December 9th, 1987)

O.J. Simpson gets arrested!

Okay, technically, OJ Simpson is not the one being arrested. He’s just playing TD Parker, the Bulls’s general manager. TD is the one who is arrested at the end of this episode after being framed for stealing 5,000 ticket to the Championship Game and selling to a ticket scalper. Still, as is so often the case with this show, the casting of OJ Simpson does bring a while new layer to the action of meaning to the action onscreen.

Who framed TD? The answer is Dolph Crane (Forry Smith), a former player who was cut from the team. Dolph has never appeared on the show before but, judging from what TD says when he sees Dolph hanging around the stadium, it seems that Dolph was cut last season. One of the things that I’ve noticed about 1st & Ten is that new characters will often pop up out of nowhere and people will act as if they’ve been there the whole time. Dolph appears to be one of those pop-up character. Dolph mentions that he’s now dating TD’s former mistress. Dolph and the owner of Arizona’s team are the ones who conspire to take out TD. Hopefully, they didn’t plant a bloody glove anywhere in the office.

The Bulls are going to the Championship Game …. again! Maybe they’ll actually win this time. This is their third trip to the game, after all. It’ll be kind of sad if they win without Coach Denardo, though. Coach Grier just isn’t as much fun as foul-mouthed Ernie Denardo.

The entire team gets mad at Yinessa. After getting injured during a game, he decides that he needs to make as much money as possible so he allows his agent (Bobby Hosea) to promote him as being the “star” of the team. The rest of the team feels that isn’t fair. The thing is, though …. Yinessa is kind of the star. He’s the quarterback. If he has a bad day, the team doesn’t win. The Bulls are a bunch of crybabies. When they find out that a team music video is being reimagined as a Yinessa music video, they literally look like they’re about to break down in tears. No wonder they always lose the Championship Game.

This episode ended wth the Bulls heads to the Championship and OJ heading to jail. That seems about right. Good luck to the team!