Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.21 “The End?”

Posted on April 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we finish off the first season of Baywatch.

Episode 1.21 “The End?”

(Dir by Reza Badiyi, originally aired on April 6th, 1990)

This the end, my only friend, the end….

Earthquake! The ground shakes in Los Angeles and the result is pure chaos. While Mitch oversees the rescue operations, Shauni tries to get over her fear of natural disasters, Eddie helps a pregnant woman deliver twins in his lifeguard tower, Gina finds herself pinned under a shelf at the loft, and Craig and Cort are trapped in an underwater cave. Have none of these people noticed that hanging out with Cort always leads to stuff like this happening?

We see a news report that says that five people died in the earthquake. Fortunately, none of those people were a character on Baywatch. (Though, now that I think about it, when was the last time anyone saw Trevor?) The LAPD dive team saves Cort and Craig. Hobie helps Gina get out from underneath that shelf. Eddie and Shauni work together to help deliver those twins and then, as the sun sets behind them, Eddie asks, “Will you marry me?” Shauni nods as the theme music starts up….

Was this the end? It was meant to be. After a season of declining ratings and raising production costs, NBC decided to cancel Baywatch. I guess the executives figured that, if even a shark attack failed to get people to watch, it was best just to move on. Baywatch decided to go out with an episode about an earthquake because it was a California show and California is all about the ground moving under your feet. It actually turned out to be one of the better episodes of the first season, specifically because it focused on lifeguards and other first responders doing their job. There were no silly plots about gamblers or Mitch’s love life or anything else. This was Baywatch the way it probably should have been. But it was too late to keep the show alive on network television.

That said, the Hoff believed in Baywatch and, working with the show’s producers, he brought it back in syndication. This episode was the end of Baywatch on NBC but it was just the beginning of the show that would go on to epitomize a decade.

We’ll start season 2 next week.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.20 “Old Friends”

Posted on April 18, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week …. oh, who cares? Season one is nearly over.

Episode 1.20 “Old Friends”

(Dir by Douglas Schwartz, originally aired on March 30th, 1990)

Cort is shocked when he thinks he sees his old friend, Lance (Jeff Lester), piloting a boat. But Lance is dead! Nope, it turns out that Lance faked his death and now he wants Cort to help him commit insurance fraud. Cort doesn’t want to do anything of the sort but he is kind of in love with Lance’s sister (Susan Diol).

Oh, who cares? It’s a typical Cort story. Apparently, Cort is some sort of international bad boy, even though he just comes across as being a beach bum. Cort stories are always kind of boring because Cort has never made much sense as a character.

Meanwhile, Mitch, Craig, and Garner go camping. Mitch goes hang gliding. He ends up crashing into a tree and then getting attack by a snake. Craig uses his hang glider to search for Mitch. Craig finds him but his radio breaks down so Garner — who has never hang glided before — decides to use the one remaining hang glider to search for his friends. A gust of wind takes Garner from the mountains to the beach. Eventually, Mitch and Craig are rescued. No one dies. Snake bites aren’t that dangerous, I guess.

This was a weird episode. The first season of Baywatch premiered on NBC. NBC cancelled the show after the first season and this episode definitely feels like a show on its way out. The whole episode looks and feels cheap. There’s a noticeable lack of extras on the beach. The hang gliding scenes are not particularly convincing. Everything about the episode practically shouts, “Nearly bankrupt!” Even Hasselhoff apparently didn’t want to do too much with this episode as he spends almost the entire running time delirious from the snake bite.

This episode had one funny moment. Mitch, losing control of his hang glider, yells into his radio, “Is anyone there!?” Cut to Craig and Garner at the campsite, totally ignoring the radio. I guess it makes sense. Why would a lifeguard pay attention when someone was doing something that could potentially get him killed?

Next week — season one ends!

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.19 “The Big Race”

Posted on April 11, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Cort needs money!

Episode 1.19 “The Big Race”

(Dir by Kevin Inch, originally aired on March 16th, 1990)

This episode opens with Cort trying to impress a woman who is convinced that he’s rich. He and Eddie illegally break into someone else’s yacht and Eddie dressed up in a tuxedo so he can pretend to be Cort’s butler. The meeting goes well into the woman asks Cort to donate $10,000 to a retirement home and Cort impulsively says yes.

Now, he has to come up with $10,000!

Luckily, there’s a water ski race coming up and the grand prize is $15,000. Cort, Mitch, and Craig enter and …. well, do you need me to tell you that they win despite the efforts of a bunch of snobby vandals?

Meanwhile, Shauni is scared to get in the water. She’s haunted by slow motion flashbacks of Jill getting attacked by that shark. (This is the rare episode of Baywatch that actually acknowledges that something that happened in another episode.) I guess Shauni’s going to have to quit being a lifeguard now. Oh wait — luckily, someone almost drowns and Shauni’s instincts overpower her fear. With the help of Michael Newman — NEWMIE! — Shauni finds the courage to do her job.

At least Shauni is still mourning Jill. No one else seems to care. Seriously, if you think about it — two lifeguards have died in the line of duty over the past two weeks and no one really seems that upset about it.

No wonder some people stand in the darkness.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.18 “Shark Derby”

Posted on April 4, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a lifeguard dies!

Episode 1.18 “Shark Derby”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonann, originally aired on March 2nd, 1990)

Hey, remember Jill?

Jill, played by Shawn Weatherly, was a major character at the start of the season. She was the tough, seasoned lifeguard who was one of Mitch’s best friends. She was also Shauni’s mentor. If Shauni was often silly and superficial, Jill was all business. She also had a brief flirtation with Trevor, before Trevor vanished from the show.

As the first season progressed, Jill became less and less important. In this week’s episode, Jill finally gets to do something, She dies! She dies after being attacked by a shark who was drawn to the beach by an unethical restaurant owner (Peter Brown) who has been pouring chum into the ocean and who has also placed some sort of transmitter underwater that sends out a high-pitched tone that only sharks can hear. The restauranter is just doing it to promote his annual shark derby. However, when one of the sharks attacks a raft full of school children, Jill swims out into the ocean to save them. And she ends up getting bitten by a shark. She doesn’t lose any limbs. In fact, we don’t see any blood at all. But, at the hospital, it’s announced that Jill has over two hundred sutures. Yikes!

Despite getting chomped by a shark, it first appears as if Jill will survive. But towards the end of the episode, even as she’s preparing to leave the hospital, she develops a blood cot that kills her, off-screen. David Hasselhoff gets to show off his ability to cry onscreen. To be honest, that’s the main reason this episode works. We don’t really know enough about Jill to get too emotionally involved in her situation. But Hasselhoff is so incredibly earnest and sincere in his grief that he gets to you. Jill must have been someone amazing if the Hoff is crying.

This episode was shameless and emotionally manipulative and it was pure Baywatch. This episode also featured a record number of slo mo of doom scenes. The shark attacked in slow motion. Jill and Craig yelled at people to get out of the water in slow motion. Is it really slow motion if no one yells? I’m not sure.

So, Jill is dead. But the Hoff and the rest are still alive and ready to save swimmers across California.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.17 “Eclipse”

Posted on March 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Eddie’s incompetence continues.

Episode 1.17 “Eclipse”

(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on February 23rd, 1990)

After Kirby (Lance Wilson-White), the lifeguard that Eddie was supposed to be training, mysteriously drowns, Eddie loses his job and is shunned by every lifeguard in California.

Well, that’s what should have happened. Instead, everyone tells Eddie that it wasn’t his fault and goes out of their way to make sure that Eddie isn’t beating himself up over one unfortunate death. We don’t actually see Mitch or Captain Thorpe calling up Kirby’s family to offer condolences. We don’t see Kirby’s funeral or Kirby getting the traditional fallen lifeguard salute. Kirby? Who’s Kirby?

Instead, Eddie meets with a psychiatrist (Dr. Joyce Brothers) and later admits that his sister drowned when he was a child and that’s why he feels so guilty about what happened to Kirby. Everyone is more upset about Eddie’s sister than they are Kirby.

Meanwhile, Eddie searches the beach for a ghostly woman in a white nightgown. Eddie and Craig’s wife, Gina (Holly Gagnier), speculate that the woman is the ghost of someone who burned down the lighthouse decades ago. Mitch theorizes that the woman is an escaped mental patient. The woman later turns up on the beach, dead from drowning. Again, nobody seems to be too upset. Aren’t these people supposed to be lifeguards?

While this is going on, Hobie discovers that his friend Katie (Hayley Carr) is going to have to euthanize her dog because it bit her family’s landlord. Katie runs away and Hobie hides both her and the dog at his house. Mitch is not happy about this but he does agree to adopt the dog so it won’t be killed. Yay!

This episode was dumb. Apparently, as long as Eddie’s feeling better, it doesn’t matter that two people drowned. Stay away from Malibu, folks.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.15 “Muddy Waters”

Posted on February 28, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The drudgery of season 1 continues.

Episode 1.15 “Muddy Waters”

(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on February 2nd, 1990)

It’s a busy couple of days in Malibu!

Hobie has been getting into fights at school. Is it because the kids refuse to believe his amazing stories about his lifeguard father or is it because he has a crush on his teacher, Amanda Keller (Sherilyn Wolter)? Amanda wears glasses but takes them off whenever Mitch comes into the room so we all know what that means. Mitch is about to get a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, a picture of Shauni appears in a cheap calendar, posing in her official Baywatch bathing suit. The Captain (Monte Markham) wants to fire her but Craig proves that Shauni isn’t lying about the picture being used without Shauni’s knowledge. Not only does Craig print a calendar with the captain as “Miss March” but he also tricks the Captain into signing a release form. Shauni is vindicated. Craig’s wife complains about how sexist the calendar was. This storyline felt a bit hypocritical for a show run people who reportedly spent hours obsessing on how everyone looked in their swimsuits.

Finally, Cort and Eddie are training the junior lifeguard at the water park. An angry man who always wanted to be a lifeguard keeps loosening the bolts on the water slide. Cort, Eddie, and Garner catch him but the trouble’s not over yet! The ex-boyfriend of one of the lifeguards is making trouble and vandalizing park property. He’s captured after a dramatic chase up a water slide. Even though Cort is chasing the guy up the water slide, people keep sliding down. It felt kind of dumb, to be honest. Why not just climb the stairs to the top so that you can be there whenever the guy gets there? Why not position one lifeguard at the top and one at the bottom so the guy will eventually be caught no matter which way he climbs or slides? It seems like Eddie and Cort put a lot of people in danger for no good reason.

This episode was forgettable and dumb. That’s kind of the standard when it comes to the first season of Baywatch. Some people stand in the darkness for good reason.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 1.13 “Home Cort”

Posted on February 14, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we meet John D. Cort.

Episode 1.13 “Home Cort”

(Dir by Paul Schneider, originally aired on January 12th, 1990)

There’s a new lifeguard on the beach!

His name is John D. Cort (John Allen Nelson) and he’s a former Navy SEAL with a dark and mysterious past. He drives a motorcycle. He wears a cowboy hat. He has a quick smile. He’s dangerous and he’s now a member of the cast. I’m going to guess that he was added to bring some mystery to the show. Originally, Eddie Kramer was supposed to be the dangerous lifeguard with the mysterious past but Billy Warlock was just too earnest and young to really pull that off. John D. Cort, on the other hand, is at least 40.

Now, I said that Cort was the “new lifeguard on the beach.” That’s not quite true. It turns out that he’s actually an old lifeguard who was a friend of Mitch’s and Craig’s. In fact, it’s insinuated that their friendship is legendary amongst the lifeguards. Of course, no one’s ever mentioned Cort before but whatever. Baywatch was never exactly known for its continuity.

Cort says that he’s returned to the beach so that he can work as a lifeguard for ten days and keep his eligibility. Actually, he’s been hired to retrieve a mysterious package that’s at the bottom of the ocean. He recruits his old friend, Sam (Bruce Fairbairn), to take him out into the ocean so that he can retrieve the package. However, an explosion costs Sam his life and forces Cort to deal with the fact that someone wants him dead. Who wants Cort dead? Some guy named Jack Burton (Drew Snyder). Why does he want Cort dead? Who cares? I got bored with the whole thing so I missed his motive. I could go back and find out but, as far as I’m concerned, if the answer was worth knowing, I wouldn’t have gotten bored the first time around. The story is really just an excuse to introduce Cort. At the end of the episode, he inherits Sam’s surf shop and makes peace with being a regular member of the cast for at least the rest of the season.

As for the B-plot, Shauni and and Jill go into business selling sandwiches on the beach! They take a lot of business away from crooked sandwich hustler Buddy Semple (played by George Clooney’s future production partner, Grant Heslov). Buddy reacts by hiring two women in bikinis to hand out his sandwiches. That’s the entire plot.

Oh, this episode. I’ll be so happy when the first season of Baywatch is over with and the show fully and cheerfully embraces the stupidity of its concept. Until then …. welcome to the beach, John Cort!

So, I Watched Perry Mason: The Case of the Lethal Lesson (1989, Dir. by Christian I. Nyby II)

Posted on January 10, 2026 by Dazzling Erin

Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) has spent a semester teaching moot court at a law school. When one of his students, Frank Wellman Jr. (John Allen Nelson), is murdered, the accused is another student named Ken Malansky (William R. Moses). Despite being a close friend of the victim’s father (Brian Keith), Perry thinks that Ken is innocent and agrees to defend him. Ken’s ex-girlfriend, Amy Hastings (Alexandra Paul), pays Ken’s bail and helps him and Perry investigate the crime, even though Ken spends the whole movie talking about how “crazy” she is.

No William Katt. No David Ogden Stiers. Barbara Hale’s barely in it. The Case of the Lethal Lesson was the start of a new era in the Mason movies and I didn’t like it. Ken and Amy are Perry’s new assistants but I didn’t like either one of them. Amy was stalkerish but Ken still cried too much about her being the one who paid his bail. Did Ken just want to stay in jail? Ken just wasn’t very likable and it bothered me that the movie never explained why Paul wasn’t available to help. Both Paul and William Katt deserved better. Meanwhile, the new prosecutor (Marlene Warfield) didn’t have the same friendly rivalry that her predecessor did. The mystery element was okay until some cartoonish gangsters showed up. I didn’t buy any of it.

Give it up for my sister, though. A few minutes into the movie, Lisa said, “I bet that’s the murderer,” and she was right! If Perry Mason had her helping him instead of Ken and Amy, he could have solved this case a lot quicker.

Spring Breakdown: Hunk (dir by Lawrence Bassoff)

Posted on March 22, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Released in 1987, Hunk tells the story of Hunk Golden (John Allen Nelson).

At first glance, Hunk seems to have everything. He lives in a huge house on the beach and he’s good-looking and muscular enough that he can actually pull off the rainbow speedo look. Women want to be with Hunk and men want to be Hunk. He’s rich. He can eat all the food in the world without putting on a single pound. He’s got a great smile and wonderful tan and he even knows karate! Hunk drives a red convertible that has a personalized license plate, one that reads: HUNK. If anyone else did it, it would seem narcissistic but Hunk can pull it off.

However, Hunk is deeply dissatisfied with his life. As he explains to his psychiatrist, Dr. Sunny Graves (Rebecca Bush), he wasn’t always Hunk Golden. He used to be a nerdy writer named Brady Brinkman (played by Steve Levitt). After Brady’s girlfriend left him for an aerobics instructor, he somehow managed to write a guide to how to become rich. Brady’s wasn’t sure where his inspiration came from but he was still able to make a fortune off of it. After Brady moved to the beach to work on his next project, he discovered that being wealthy didn’t mean anything unless he also had the right look.

That’s when he was approached by O’Brien (Deborah Shelton), an emissary of the devil (James Coco). O’Brien turned Brady Brinkman into Hunk Golden and taught him how to be …. well, how to be a hunk. The only condition was that, after a number of months, Hunk would have to give up his soul to the devil. Hunk agreed but now, with the deadline approaching, Hunk isn’t so sure that he wants to condemn his soul to eternal damnation. Is being the hottest guy on the beach really worth an eternity of burning in fire and being poked with those little pitchfork things?

Now, it probably won’t come as a surprise to our regular readers to discover that this film was produced and distributed by Crown International Pictures. From the 70s through the 80s, Crown International specialized in low-budget exploitation films, with a surprisingly large number of them taking place on the beach. Nowadays, of course, the Crown International filmography can be found in countless Mill Creek boxsets. Hunk can be found in several. I own enough Mill Creek boxsets that I’ve probably got a dozen copies of Hunk in my DVD and Blu-ray collections.

That said, while the film’s low budget is obvious in every frame, Hunk is actually slightly better than the typical Crown International beach film. While it seems to take forever for Brady to become Hunk, the film has got a likable cast and it actually delivers its message about self-acceptance with a surprising amount of sincerity. This is the rare Crown International Film with a heart and, for every joke that falls flat (and there’s several), there’s at least a few unexpectedly clever moments. The film takes an especially strange turn once Hunk becomes a celebrity and starts to wonder if he should accept the devil’s invitation to become a demon and help start a world war. Steve Levitt and John Allen Nelson both do a good job playing Brady and his alter ego, though all of Nelson’s dialogue appears to have been dubbed. James Coco delivers his evil lines with a properly devilish glee. Incidently, this was also Brad Pitt’s first movie. While he had no dialogue and went uncredited, he can be easily spotted as an extra in one of the beach scenes.