Category Archives: TV

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.22 “Tears of a Clown”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

Send in the clowns….

Episode 3.22 “Tears of a Clown”

(Dir by Janet Greek, originally aired on March 13th, 1985)

Do you like clowns?

Then this episode is for you because there are clowns all over the hospital!  When Dr. Chandler tells circus clown Bonko (Gina Hecht) that she should quit the circus because she has MS, her fellow clowns all show up at the hospital to support her.  And yes, they wear their clown makeup!  Bonko’s partner, Corky (Dennis Dugan), understands that Bonko is a born performer.  As the episode ends, Bonko and Crky perform in an elevator and cheer up Andrea Fordham (Ann Hearn), Dr. Caldwell’s plastic surgery patient.  Having had her declaration of love rejected by Bobby, Andrea could definitely use the cheering up.

Dr. Morrison needs some cheering up to.  Working as a resident, a medical student, and a single father is a lot of pressure and his relationship with Clancy (played by Helen Hunt) isn’t bring him much relief.  Morrison is suffering from insomnia and headaches and popping pills.  He’s late to a timed exam and flunks.  I swear, Morrison can never get a break.  The only thing keeping him from being the most depressing character on the show is that Westphall somehow always seem to be even more afflicted with melancholy.

This episode features Westphall finally finding a condo that he can move into.  He’s accompanied by Dr. Craig and they are mistaken for a couple by the realtor.  Craig looks annoyed.  Westphall looks glum.  Westphall always looks glum!

Finally, Elliot discovers that Mrs. Hufnagle left him her entire meager estate.  It’s also now his responsibility to spread her ashes.

After last week’s dramatic and emotional episode, this week felt rather lowkey.  How you react to this episode will probably depend on how much tolerance you have for clowns.

It was an okay episode, even if it did ultimately feel like filler.  After last week’s emotion-packed installment, this episode served to remind us that life goes on, even after Hufnagle dies and Shirley Daniels pulls a gun on everyone.  That’s just the way things are in the city of Boston.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 1.7 “Pen Pals”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Hunter goes to jail!

Episode 1.7 “Pen Pals”

(Dir by Larry Stewart, originally aired on November 16th, 1984)

Rick Hunter, murderer!

Well, not quite.  It is true that someone used Hunter’s gun to assassinate a drug dealer but, at the time of the shooting, Hunter was helping a woman who came by his apartment and said that her car had broken down.  It’s a set up!  But, because Hunter  threatened to kill the drug dealer earlier and he’s killed around 20 0ther people since the pilot, everyone assumes that he’s guilty.  He’s sent to jail for 72 hours.  McCall, forced to partner up with the charming but incompetent Detective Glascow (Tim Thomerson),  attempts to prove that Hunter was framed.  Meanwhile, Hunter befriends one prisoner (Tracey Walter) and is targeted by another (Jack O’Halloran).

There were a few odd things about this episode.  First off, why wasn’t Hunter put in protective custody?  Everyone in the jail knew that he was a cop.  He hadn’t actually been convicted of anything.  So, what was he doing in general population?

Secondly, what happened to Hunter’s mob connections?  Previous episodes have hinted that Hunter’s father is one of the most powerful gangsters in California.  Wouldn’t that give him some sort of protection in prison?  Couldn’t the Hunter crime family have asked around and discovered who set Rick Hunter up?

Oh well, no matter.  This was a fun episode!  Tim Thomerson was wonderfully smarmy as McCall’s new partner.  Jack O’Halloran was properly psychotic as the scary prisoner looking to take down Hunter.  If any actor was born to be filmed beating up people in a prison cafeteria, it was Fred Dryer.

Luckily,  Hunter got out of jail at the end of the episode.  Now, he and McCall can get back to falling in love.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.33 “The Lieutenant Had A Son”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

Episode 1.33 “The Lieutenant Had A Son”

(Dir by David Alexander, originally aired on May 26th, 1958)

After spending five years overseas, career soldier Lt. Larry Hayes (Leo Penn) returns to New York City.  He wants to see the son that he’s never met and he’s not happy when he discovers that, in his absence, his wife (Loretta Leversee) has married another man (Will Kuluva).  His wife goes to the police for protection but, once it becomes obvious that she committed bigamy, Casey has to try to sort out who is married to who and who Larry, Jr. (Robie Grant) belongs with.

This was an odd episode.  Absolutely no one was sympathetic.  I even got annoyed with Casey for getting involved with these people.  Lt. Hayes was a self-righteous martinet.  His wife was a flake who simply didn’t seem to understand why she wasn’t being given a pass on the whole bigamy thing.  Five year-old Larry, Jr. was played by a child named Robie Grant.  I was not surprised to discover that this was Grant’s only credit because he was beyond lousy in the role.  I have never been more annoyed by a five year-old.

The most interesting thing about this episode is that Larry Hayes is played by Leo Penn, the father of Sean, Chris, and Michael Penn.  Leo Penn gives a believable performance as Larry.  It wasn’t his fault that the character wasn’t particularly likable.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 4.3 “Caught In The Draft”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, it’s for the draft.

Episode 4.3 “Caught In The Draft”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 19th, 1988)

The Bulls attend the draft and screw everything up.  It turns out that allowing the players to own the team was a really bad idea.  In fact, it goes so badly that TD Parker (OJ Simpson) really deserves to be fired for suggesting it in the first place.  But, nobody wants to get on TD’s bad side, for some reason.

How badly does it go?

The Bulls need a linebacker.  Sonny Cowers, the phenom out of Louisiana, is available in the first round.  Unfortunately, Mad Dog worries that, if he drafts Sonny, the Bulls will then either release or trade him.  Seeing as how Mad Dog owns the team, I’m not really sure how he could be traded or released but whatever.  Mad Dog picks a player that the team doesn’t need and Sonny is picked by another team.

Meanwhile, Jethro and Bubba insist on drafting an unheralded running back because they’re convinced the man is in their hotel room and threatening to commit suicide if he’s not drafted.  It turns out that the man in the hotel room was just an actor and that the Bulls just got conned into drafting some fat guy from Tennessee.

The Bulls do get a new head coach when TD trades a sixth round draft pick for the new coach of Houston’s term, Ernie Denardo.  That’s right, Denardo’s back!

The draft is such a disaster that the bank cancels their loan and the players are forced to sell the team to the fast food company that they were trying to avoid being purchased by in the first place.

I actually liked this episode.  I enjoyed the chaos of the draft and it was hard not to laugh at the earnest stupidity of the players.  Shouldn’t you guys be trying to draft a quarterback? I thought at one point and, for a second, I felt like a sports expert.

Seriously, they need do need to get a quarterback.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.22 “The Lady and the Maid/Love Is Blind/The Babymakers”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s all about maids and bartenders!

Episode 7.22 “The Lady and the Maid/Love Is Blind/The Babymakers”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on March 3rd, 1984)

This week, it’s a busy cruise!

Dorothy Fielding (Luise Rainer) boards the boat and immediately runs into her twin sister, Maggie (also played by Rainer).  Maggie is working as a maid and she resents her sister.  But when Dorothy agrees to switch places with Maggie, Maggie gets to date the charming and rich Stewart Coolidge (Don Ameche).  This storyline features not one but two Oscar winners.  Ameche won an Oscar for his role in Cocoon, albeit after this show aired.  Rainer won two Oscars, back-to-back, in the 30s and then seemingly vanished from film screens.  Unfortunately, while Ameche is charming, Rainer comes across as if she would rather be anywhere than playing twins on an episode of The Love Boat.  There were several scenes in which Rainer spoke with Rainer.  They were obviously included to show off the show’s split-screen approach but, unfortunately, Rainer never seemed to be sure which direction either twin should be looking while interacting with the other.

Sheila (Jennilee Harrison) is desperately trying to get pregnant.  Doc mentions to her husband (Kim Shriner) that most babies are conceived during makeup sex.  Guess who starts a totally random argument with his wife?  This was a silly story but, to be honest, the main appeal of this show has always been its silliness.  Harrison and Shriner were beyond adorable.

Finally, Isaac’s blind friend, Darnell Hall (LeVar Burton), boards the ship and takes part in Isaac’s bartending school.  Darnell and Isaac also compete for the attention of Terry Cook (Shari Belafonte).  And before anyone says anything — yes, I know Burton played a blind guy on Star Trek: The Next Generation.  I don’t care.  As for who Terry picks …. well, Isaac is a regular character and Terry isn’t.  It’s not that hard to guess how things are going to turn out.

That said, I know what you really want to know.

Julie doesn’t do much in this episode but she does sound rather excited about wishing everyone a happy day in Mexico.  I’m going to say seven out of ten.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.5 “Overkill”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

It’s time for another stupid trip to L.A.

Episode 4.5 “Overkill”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on August 23rd, 1998)

Jamie is learning martial arts from Master Soo Han (Yoshi Jenkins).  When she is saved from a group of muggers by a fellow classmate named Kyle (Matty Liu), she starts to fall in love with him.  Soon, he is teaching her how to be a better fighter.  For some reason, Jamie doesn’t tell Kyle that she’s a cop.  That makes things awkward when Kyle realizes that 1) the man who killed his mother is a student in the class and 2) Kyle is being groomed to be a government assassin.

I’ve always said that you can tell when a show has cast a professional athlete in a guest role because the athlete is always the worst actor in the episode.  That was certainly the case here.  At first, I was sure that Matty Liu was a professional martial artist.  It turns out that he’s actually a pro surfer but still, my point stands.  It doesn’t matter how many camera tricks or jump cuts the show uses to make Liu look like a badass, he’s still an amazingly stiff actor.  The scenes of him and Jamie falling in love don’t work because he’s not capable of showing any emotion, let alone love.

Speaking of love, Chris is still mad that her husband didn’t select her to be promoted to sergeant.  When she discovers a murder victim, she impresses Homicide Detective Thomas (Carl T. Evans) by figuring out that the victim died from a — wait for it — broken neck.  WOW!  Amazing deduction, Chris!  I mean, how difficult is it to spot a broken neck?  Even though Chris is neither a medical examiner nor a detective, Thomas invites her to fill in for a sick Homicide detective.  Chris accepts.

TC’s not happy about that!  Actually, TC’s never happy.  He’s been in charge of Pacific Blue for five episodes now and he hasn’t smiled once.  He has spent a lot of time glaring.  In fact, both he and Cory spend most of their time glaring at other people now.  I guess that’s what you do when you’re in charge,  management by glaring.

Finally, Bobby and Spazz compete over — wait a minute, I got a name wrong there.  What is Spazz’s real name?  Is it Granger?  Yeah, okay, sorry about that.  Bobby and Granger serve as body guards for a French actress (Lydie Denier), who claims that she’s being stalked.  Bobby has seen all of her films but she’s more attracted to Spazz, for some reason.  Sorry, Bobby!  I would have picked you.

Anyway, this was one of Pacific Blue’s dumbest episodes yet.  Chris is even more whiny than usual.  TC and Cory are useless.  Jamie and Kyle’s fight scenes are edited in such a way that one gets dizzy trying to follow them.  This episode featured bad acting and worst direction,  No wonder Chris wants to transfer to Homicide.

I’m Cheering!

Posted on by Dazzling Erin

Last night, I was tying to not scream in frustration.  Tonight, I’m cheering!

After last night’s humiliating loss, I had to share our victory today.  It wasn’t necessarily a pretty victory.  The Astros never should have gotten within three runs of tying up the game.  But it’s a victory all the same.  It’s a win and I’m happy!

Go Rangers go!

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.4 “Blood Money”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s time to learn a lesson about giving blood.

Episode 2.4 “Blood Money”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

Megan is running the school blood drive but no one wants to give blood.  Mr. Belding tries to teach everyone a lesson by volunteering but he’s informed by nurse Penny Brady (Emma Caulfield) that he has high cholesterol.  Not only does Belding need to start an exercise regimen but he’s apparently too fat to chaperone the school’s hiking trip.

Not wanting the school’s butch gym teacher to chaperone the trip, Brian decides that Screech should be the chaperone.  However, Screech is depressed because he has a crush on Penny but he can’t work up the courage to ask her out.  Brian tells Penny that he’ll get everyone in the school to donate blood if she agrees to go out with Screech….

Ugh.  This is another Screech-is-in-love episode.  Dustin Diamond was nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons but still, watching the previously asexual Screech date someone is not a pleasant experience.  Penny discovers that she actually likes Screech (why?) but then Screech hears that she was bribed to go out with him and he gets his feelings hurt.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HIKING TRIP?

Seriously, screw the hiking trip.  Why is this school always sponsoring a trip somewhere?  Just give people their diplomas and stay out of their lives….

Oh no, Tommy D’s previously unseen best friend was in a motorcycle accident!  And he has a very rare blood type!  Only Screech can save him!  Screech gives blood, everyone apologizes for setting him up, and Screech agrees to chaperone the trip and to continue dating Penny.  I’m going to guess that didn’t last since Screech ended up dating Allison while working at the country club over the summer.

Meanwhile, some poor biker has gallons of Screech inside of him.

What an episode.  The whole problem with the first season is that the students were not very likable.  Now, the show actually has likable students but all of the attention is on Screech.  It’s like this show just wanted to fail!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.21 “The Game of War”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week …. it’s jet pack time!

Episode 5.21 “The Game of War”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on March 14th, 1982)

While the members of the Highway Patrol try and fail to beat Harlan at chess, Peter J. Stoler (Clu Gulager) plots a prison break.  Stoler is one of the leading members of a group of former soldiers.  On the weekends, they engage in war games.  During the week, they plot to spring their former leader, Rascoe (Johnny Seven), from prison.  Peter has just received a jet pack.  Unless the Highway Patrol can stop them, Rascoe is going to fly to freedom.

Meanwhile, a process server named Darla Mason (Sandra Kerns) goes to ludicrous lengths to serve her targets.  She pretends to have car trouble.  She wears old person makeup.  She does whatever she needs to do to get her target to lower their defenses so that she can hand them their court papers and say, “You’ve been served.”  Process servers are a necessary part of our legal system but I’ve never cared much for any of the ones that I’ve known.  It takes a certain amount of cruelty to get close to someone just so you can give them a summons.  Darla is a fairly annoying character and I certainly wasn’t upset when Rascoe’s militia abducted her.  And when the episode ended with her getting served, it felt like poetic justice.

This episode was nothing special but it held my attention.  I mean, how can you not enjoy a little jet pack action?  Clu Gulager was actually somewhat sympathetic as the main bad guy.  Personally, I think Ponch and Baker should have let him go.  Just give him his jet pack and let him fly away.  He didn’t mean any harm!

Seriously, they should have given Clu his own show.

 

I’m Trying Not To Scream

Posted on by Dazzling Erin

I haven’t really sad much about the Rangers this season because they’ve really been struggling and I haven’t had much happy news to report.  Right now, everyone is down on the team’s prospects, even though we haven’t even played the All-Star Game yet.  There’s a lot of baseball left to play and you never know when a team might turn their fortunes around.  That’s one of the things that I love about this game.  A team can always make a comeback and I’ve seen the Rangers make plenty.

Still, when I see something like this:

Oh, Rangers!  Why must you break my heart?

I still have faith in my team.  I always have faith in them.  That’s why they’re my team, no matter how many times they left me screaming into a pillow and hoping no one gets the wrong idea.  Rangers, I love you!  Even when you lose to the Astros!

Please don’t do it again.