Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.16 “Saving Face”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, things continue to be awkward in Boston.

Episode 3.16 “Saving Face”

(Dir by Charles Braverman, originally aired on January 16th, 1985)

This episode of St. Elsewhere was even busier than usual.

  • Tough-as-nails Dr. Mary Woodley (Karen Austin) has been hired to oversee the ER.  Dr. Fiscus isn’t happy about it.  He’s going to have to work for a woman?  Agck!
  • Dr. Cavanero is also not happy.  Of course, the last time that St. Eligius hired a new female doctor, Cavanero told everyone at the hospital that she was a lesbian and, for some reason, this led to the doctor having to leave town.  (It was the 80s.)  Maybe, just maybe, there are reasons to have doubts about Cavanero’s professionalism.
  • Dr. Westphall shows Dr. Woodley around the hospital and, as usual, comes across as being the saddest man on the planet.
  • Dr. Westphall informs Jack that he will be allowed to continue on as a resident.  However, Westphall also rather glumly states that he will be watching Jack from now on.  Jack better not screw up or Westphall will “come down” on him.  Personally, I think Westphall is too depressed to really do much of anything.
  • Feeling guilty about Murray’s death, Elliott brings Mrs. Hufnagle a ham.  Mrs. Hufnagle has an allergic reaction and ends up back in the hospital.  “She thinks I tried to kill her!” Elliott says.
  • A teenager (Tim Van Patten) brings in his pregnant girlfriend, who has OD’d.  Dr. Woodley says she is required to call family services.  Myself, I started shouting, “I am da futah!” as soon as Tim “Stegman” Van Patten showed up on the screen.
  • Dr. Caldwell performs extensive plastic surgery on a disfigured young woman.  When Dr. Ehrlich says that the patient looks like she got hit with the “ugly stick,” Caldwell kicks Ehrlich off his team.
  • Nobody wants to work with Ehrlich!  Dr. Craig declines to invite Ehrlich to his 34 year anniversary party.  Cavanero agrees to take Ehrlich as her date.  “What are you doing here!?” Craig snaps as soon as he sees Ehrlich in his living room.
  • Dr. Craig’s younger brother, William (Lou Richards), also shows up.  He was invited at Ellen’s insistence, despite the fact that William and Mark haven’t spoken in over four years.  Mark feels that William has wasted his life and his potential.  But when William proves to be the life of the party, it becomes apparent that Mark is actually jealous of how likable his younger brother is.
  • In the kitchen, Mark and William have a long conversation.  William admits that he’s struggling to pay the bills.  Mark writes him a check.  For a few minutes, the brothers actually reconcile.
  • However, Mark later hears William joking about how much money surgeon’s make and he loses his temper.  In front of the entire party, he calls out William and reveals that he doesn’t have a dime to his name.
  • That night, after everyone else has left and William has gone to the guest room, Ellen tells Mark that he should apologize.  Mark agrees and says he’ll do it in the morning.
  • Later, during the night, Mark steps out of his bedroom and discovers that William has gone home.  He left behind the check, which he ripped in half.  Mark stares at the check and starts to cry.

This was another episode that did a good job balancing the serious and the humorous.  Dr. Ehrlich’s inability to say the right thing will never not be funny.  For that matter, the same can be said of Dr. Craig’s general irritation with everything.  And yet, seeing Dr. Craig break down and cry was truly heartbreaking.  Dr. Craig and Dr. Ehrlich share an inability to socialize and a habit of screwing up even the kindest of gestures.  Even when they try to do the right thing, they somehow always manage to screw it up.

I wanted to cry for all of them.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.14 “Whistle, Wyler Works”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, we learn why almost all of Morrison’s patients seem to die.

Episode 3.14 “Whistle, Wyler Works”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on January 2nd, 1985)

It’s another busy day at St. Eligius.

  • Having finally found a kidney donor, Dr. Westphall performs the transplant.  Tshalla (Larry B. Scott) gets a new kidney but Dr. Wyler is shaken to discover that, while he’s been working in Africa, surgical techniques in America have progressed to the point that Wyler now feels undertrained.
  • Having managed to alienate even the super patient Dr. Morrison, Mrs. Hufnagle is now working her “charm” on Bobby Caldwell.  Caldwell tells Hufnagle that she doesn’t really need plastic surgery but Hufnagle seems to really want it.
  • Victor freaks out when he’s not included to assist in Dr. Craig’s latest big surgery.  A chance meeting with Ellen Craig leads to Victor confessing that his father died when he was young and that he’s always been looking for a new father figure.
  • Ellen snaps at Mark for not understand how much Victor looks up at him.  Yay!  I always like it when Ellen stands up to Mark.  That Bonnie Bartlett and William Daniels were (and are) married in real life always adds an extra snap to these scenes.
  • Elliott appears to have a crush on one of Nurse Rosenthal’s daughters.  There’s no way that’s going to end well.
  • Dr. Chandler returns from vacation (in reality, Denzel Washington was probably busy filming a movie) and deals with a patient (Jay Tarses) who is also a bigamist.
  • When the representative of a fly-by night medical school approaches Luther and tries to get him to enroll, Auschlander kicks the smarmy representative out of the hospital.  Before the rep leaves, he mentions that St. Eligius already has at least one of his school’s graduates on staff.
  • Yep, it’s Jack Morrison.

It’s already been established that Jack got his medical degree from a Mexican medical school.  In this episode, it’s further established that, whereas most doctors spends years in medical school, Jack graduated after six months.  Jack explains that he still passed all of the tests that he was required to take but that he was also given credit for his life experience of working as a pharmaceutical rep.

Dr. Westphall is not amused.  If someone could learn how to be a doctor that quickly, Westphall says, wouldn’t we all being doing it?  Westphall points out that he put his reputation on the line to keep Jack around as a second-year resident.  Westphall also says that this explains why Jack always seems to be misdiagnosing his patients and …. well, I think Westphall has a point!

This was not a bad episode, though I’m a bit weary of this Dr. Wyler storyline.  Wyler doesn’t do much other than feel sorry for himself.  I’m far more interested to see where things will be going with both Victor and Jack.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 3.13 “Dr. Wyler, I Presume”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, a famous doctor comes to St. Eligius.

Episode 3.13 “Dr. Wyler, I Presume”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 19th, 1984)

This week’s episode opens in the hospital gift shop. Dr. Craig is excited because a Nobel Prize-winning surgeon, Dr. George Wyler (David Wayne), is traveling from Africa to St. Eligius. Wyler is bring along a man who needs a kidney transplant. They are hoping to find a donor in Boston.

Dr. Auschlander, who is an old friend of Wyler’s, is a bit more nervous. Craig tells him not to worry so much and then grabs a carnation that he puts on Auschlander’s lapel.
As Auschlander starts to leave the gift shop, Craig says, “Don’t forget to pay for that.”

It’s a brilliant opening for a pretty good episode of St. Elsewhere. It’s always interesting to see the usually arrogant Dr. Craig in fanboy mode and one gets the feeling that, if he’s impressed by Dr. Wyler, than Wyler really must be as brilliant as everyone says.
And maybe he is! It’s hard to say for sure. When Wyler arrives at the hospital, he’s avuncular and obviously intelligent but we really don’t learn much about him, beyond the fact that he’s an old friend of Auschlander’s. The rest of Wyler’s scenes feature him and Auschlander sitting around and talking about how they’re both getting older. It’s not boring, largely due to the performances of Norman Lloyd and David Wayne. But, after all of the build-up, it’s a bit anti-climatic. That said, according to the imdb, Dr. Wyler appeared in a total of three episodes so I imagine things will develop.

While this is going on, Nurse Rosenthal is having a mid-life crisis. Her 45th birthday is coming up and she doesn’t want to celebrate it. She’s not amused when the nurses get her a stripper. Usually, I would have sympathy for a character who hates the idea of getting older but I’m a little bit tired of Nurse Rosenthal and her poor-me attitude. I get that she’s upset that her adulterous affair hasn’t been going well but maybe she should take that as a sign to stop sleeping with married men.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Hufnagle, the patient that no one likes, continues to get on everyone’s nerves. She’s even managed to alienate Elliott! I actually feel bad for Mrs. Hufnagle. Yes, she complains a lot but being in a hospital is a scary thing. I get the feeling that the doctors and nurses getting annoyed with her is probably the most realistic part of the series. Dr. Morrison is now Hufnagle’s doctor and that worries me. Morrison’s stories always end in the most depressing way possible.

At the tv station, Victor is told that his medical segments are not popular with viewers and that he needs to make being sick sound more pleasant than it is. Victor records an upbeat segment about how wonderful it is to go the hospital.

At the hospital, Victor assists Dr. Craig in removing an live exploding bullet from a woman who was shot in a robbery. Victor worries that the bullet could explode as he removes it and end his medical career. Fortunately, the operation is successful but Craig still tells Ehrlich that he’s a disgrace.

Ouch!

Hey, this was a really good episode. It was well-acted. It wasn’t too depressing. Dr. Craig got to snap at a lot of people. The best episodes always feature Dr. Craig going off on someone. St. Eligius may not be the best hospital but, this week, it was the most entertaining.

Horror Film Review: The Pit (dir by Lew Lehman)


The 1981 Canadian film, The Pit, tells the story of a creepy little jerk named Jamie Benjamin (Sammy Snyders).

Now, admittedly, Jamie is only twelve years old and, usually, I make allowances for bad behavior from people who aren’t old or mature enough to know better.  But there’s just something off about Jamie.  He comes across as creepy from the first minute he shows up, with his intense stare and his blonde bowl cut.  He spends a lot of time in the woods, where he has discovered a hole in the ground.  The hole is full of hungry creates that Jamie calls Trogs.  Jamie regularly takes raw meat to the hole and tosses it in.  Unlike all of the kids at school and his own parents, the Trogs are always happy to see Jamie.

It may sound like a bad idea to give meat to a bunch of monsters that you just happened to find in the woods but Teddy thinks it’s a good idea.  Teddy is Jamie’s teddy bear.  Teddy talks.  Teddy has all sorts of ideas for how Jamie can get back at everyone who has ever made fun of him or left him feeling insecure.  Why not just toss them into the pit?  Is Teddy real or is he just in Jamie’s mind?  The film tries go for some ambiguity.  That said, the Trogs are definitely real so it’s not that difficult to go from accepting the idea of carnivorous monsters to buying into a talking teddy bear.

Jamie is entering puberty and his hormones are going crazy.  When his parents leave for a trip, they hire a psychology student named Sandy O’Reilly (Jeannie Elias) to keep an eye on Jamie.  Jamie develops a crush and soon becomes obsessed with Sandy.  Jamie is the type of kid who pretends to drop something just so he can look up Sandy’s skirt.  (Bad Jamie!)  Despite Jamie’s crush on Sandy, he still steals money from her so that he can buy raw meat for the Trogs.  When he can’t get any more meat, he starts tempting real people out to the woods and pushing them in.  When he tells Sandy about the Trogs, she doesn’t believe him.  He takes her to the pit and that’s when things really start to get bad….

The Pit is an odd little film, one that never quite settles on a tone.  In the original script, the Trogs and Teddy’s advice were all meant to be in Jamie’s head and Jamie himself was only meant to be 9 years old.  The horror elements were meant to be products of Jamie’s disturbed imagination and one can still see elements of that in the completed film.  However, director Lew Lehman decided to make Jamie older, to leave no doubt that the Trogs were real, and to add a small amount of humor.  As such, The Pit is a film that veers from being a horror film to being a somewhat depressing coming-of-age film to a somewhat mean-spirited comedy.  Sammy’s behavior, which might have been understandable for a 9 year old, becomes even more creepy now that he’s a twelve year-old who still takes orders from a teddy bear.

It’s a confused film but Sammy Snyders gives one of the best creepy kid performances of all time and there’s something undeniably satisfying about the ending.  As Jamie discovers, he’s not the only kid with a pit and teddy bear can only protect him for so long.

The TSL Grindhouse: Nomads (dir by John McTiernan)


1986’s Nomads opens with anthropologist Jean-Charles Pommier being rushed into an emergency room, badly beaten and struggling for his life.  Despite the best efforts of Dr. Eileen Flax (Lesley-Anne Down), Pommier dies in the ER.  Flax is shocked by Pommier’s death and, naturally, she’s upset that she couldn’t save him.  But, at the same time, people die in hospitals.  It happens to the best of doctors.

Except soon, Flax is seeing flashes of the events that led to Pommier’s death.  Pommier has somehow entered her mind and soon, she’s reliving his investigation into the origins of a group of destructive, urban nomads that Pommier witnessed causing havoc throughout Los Angeles.  Pommier often felt like he was the only person who was capable of seeing the nomads and he grew to be tortured by his fear that they were specifically stalking him.  We soon learn that there was reason for that….

Now, based on his name, you’re probably assuming that Pommier is meant to be French.  And he is!  He’s from France, though he considers himself to be a citizen of the world.  He’s traveled everywhere, taking pictures of different cultural rituals across the globe.  However, in Nomads, the very French Jean-Charles Pommier is played by Pierce Brosnan.  Pierce Brosnan is, needless to say, not French.  He’s Irish, even though a lot of people seem to be shocked when they first learn that.  Brosnan normally speaks with an accent that could best be described as a mix of posh London and mid-Atlantic American.  Everything about him screams the UK.  In short, Pierce Brosnan is one of the least convincing French people ever seen on film and he delivers his lines in an accent that sounds like every accent other than the French accent.  Watching this film, I found myself thinking about the Monty Python skit where Terry Jones and Carol Cleveland starred in a French movie.  (“I see you have a cabbage.”  “Oui.”)  Brosnan is not a bad actor and it’s entertaining to watch him overact in Nomads.  But there’s nothing French about him and every time that someone referred to him as being French, it totally took me out of the movie.

Which is a shame because Nomads may be narratively incoherent but it’s got some memorably surreal visuals and it does a good job of generating a properly ominous atmosphere.  Director John McTiernan (who later went on to do Predator, Die Hard, and The Hunt For Red October) makes smart use of slow motion and a handheld camera to keep the audience off-balance.  At its best, Nomads achieves a dream-like intensity that makes up for the fact that the story doesn’t make the least bit of sense.  The nomads themselves are a memorable and creepy.  While Adam Ant plays their leader (and the scene where he smiles as Brosnan attempts to throw him off a building is truly disturbing), the most frightening of the nomads is Mary Woronov as Dancing Mary.  Seriously, after I watched this film, I checked all the locks in the house.  No urban nomads were going to interrupt me in my sleep!

My suggestion to everyone is to do a Nomads/Nomadland double feature.  You’ll never get in another van.

Horror On The Lens: The Pit (dir by Lew Lehman)


Thepitposter

For today’s horror on the lens, we have an odd little Canadian horror film from 1981.

The Pit tells the story of 12 year-old Jamie Benjamin (Sammy Snyders, giving a genuinely creepy performance), a weird kid who lives in rural Wisconsin.  Jame is an outcast who is regularly picked on by the other kids.  His only friend is a teddy bear with whom he has regular conversations and yes, Teddy does talk back.

One day, Jamie comes across a pit out in the middle of the woods.  The pit is full of cannibalistic monsters.  Jamie quickly takes a liking to them and starts to bring them raw meat.  However, Teddy has a better idea.  Maybe Jamie could start feeding them people…

In the original script, both Teddy and the monsters were supposed to be figments of Jamie’s imagination.  However, director Lew Lehman made the decision to make the monsters real and to keep the audience guessing as far as Teddy was concerned.  The end result is a very odd film about a very odd kid.

And you can watch it below!

(Warning: Though this film is tame by our standards, it would still probably be considered to be NSFW.)