Tag Archives: review

10 Films For May the 4th

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

If you want to celebrate the 4th of May but you really don’t feel like sitting through any of the Star Wars films (especially now that you know that Leia, Luke, and Han’s struggle was pretty much for naught), here are ten other sci-films that will keep you entertained without ruinng your childhood memories!

  1. Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi) is not only the best of the so-called Star Wars rip-offs, it’s also one of the best space adventures ever made.  In fact, I would argue that Cozzi’s film is actually more entertaining than Star Wars, just because of Cozzi’s unabashed love of the genre and the fact that Starcrash had a bit more deliberate wit than George Lucas’s film.  Starcrash also had a once-in-a-lifetime cast of Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, Joe Spinell, Christopher Plummer, and David Hasselhoff.  Starcrash is a true pop art masterpiece.
  2. Laserblast (1978, dir by Charles Band) — Fresh from menacing Mark Hamill in Corvette Summer, Kim Milford plays a totally 70s dude who finds a discarded alien weapon and turns into a green monster.  At one point, Milford blows up a Star Wars billboard.  Roddy McDowall is a small-town doctor.  Eddie Deezen and Dennis Burkley are bullies.  The Claymation aliens are adorable, especially when they start arguing with each other.
  3. Moonraker (1979, dir by Lewis Gilbert) –– James Bond in space!  I’m well aware that Moonraker does not have a great reputation as far as Bond films are concerned but actually, it’s one of Roger Moore’s most enjoyably ludicrous outings.  Daniel Craig’s Bond could never go into space but Roger Moore could.  That’s why Moore will always be the superior Bond.
  4. The Humanoid (1979, dir by Aldo Lado) — After playing Jaws in both The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, Richard Kiel got to play a leading role.  “I believe that jacket belongs to Mr. Gilmore….”  No, this was before Happy Gilmore!  In The Humanoid, Kiel plays the kindly Golob who is transformed into a hulking, evil warrior.  Good Golob has a beard.  Evil Golob doesn’t.  This movie is a bit long but Kiel is always a delight to watch and it also features a cute dog robot.  Barbara Bach is the evil Lady Agatha, who is kept young by space virgin blood.  Ivan Rassimov, owner of the best hair in Italian exploitation, is Lord Graal.
  5. The Visitor (1979, dir by Giulio Paradisi) — What happens when you mix The Omen, The Exorcist, and Star Wars with a bunch of basketball stock footage?  You end up with one of the greatest Italian films ever!  John Huston is the alien/angel!  Lance Henriksen is the devil worshipper who owns a basketball team!  Franco Nero is Jesus, who lives on the Moon with a bunch of bald children!  Shelley Winters is Shelley Winters!  The Visitor is a film that simply has to be seen.
  6. Battle Beyond The Stars (1980, dir by Jimmy T. Murakami) — This Roger Corman-produced film never would have been made if not for the success of Star Wars.  That said, it’s actually a science fiction version of The Magnificent Seven, featuring the type of cast that only Corman could put together.  Richard Thomas, Robert Vaughn, George Peppard, Darlanne Fluegel, John Saxon, and Sybil Danning, they’re all in this terrifically entertaining space opera.
  7. Flash Gordon (1980, dir by Mike Hodges) — How many people have been driven mad after getting the theme song stuck in their head?  At every watch party that I host, Flash Gordon is always at the top of the list of films that people want me to select.  (Unfortunately, it’s not streaming anywhere for free right now.)  Like Starcrash and The Visitor, it’s a pop art masterpiece.  All together now: “Godon’s alive!”
  8. Space Raiders (1983, dir by Howard Cohen) — Roger Corman produced this film about a dumbass kid (David Mendenhall, who also played Stallone’s son in Over The Top) who stows away with a bunch of lovable space pirates and basically gets everyone killed.  This is worth seeing for Thom Christopher as Flightplan.  This film also features a scene where the kid tries to shout across space.  “HAWK!”
  9. Spaceballs (1987, dir by Mel Brooks) — Mel Brooks sends up the Star Wars saga as only he can.  It’s not totally successful but there are plenty of funny lines and Rick Moranis and John Candy are a delight.  Bill Pullman wisely plays his role straight and allows the supporting crew to get most of the laughs.
  10. Space Mutiny (1988, dir by Neal Sundstrom and David Winters) — “GO!  GO!  GO!” Reb Brown yells as Dave Ryder, the new head of security for Cameron Mitchell’s space fleet.  And Brown has a lot to yell about because John Phillip Law is leading a mutiny in plain sight.  Space Mutiny has a reputation for being one of the worst films ever made.  It may be.  But I still enjoy it.  Every space ship needs a disco.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.15 “Hot For Teacher”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, JT is still alive.

Episode 2.15 “Hot For Teacher”

(Dir by Philip Earnshaw, originally aired on July 25th, 2003)

Class clown J.T. is given a week of after school detention with Ms. Hatzilakos.  J.T. discovers that Hatzilakos is more than just a hot teacher and Ms. Hatzilakos tells J.T. that he’s capable of being more than just an obnoxious kid.  They bond while taking care of a pregnant gerbil.  But then, during class, JT stuffs some balloons up his shirt and pretends to be Ms. Hatzilakos.  It gets a laugh from Jimmy but, when Ms. Hatzilakos catches him, she is not amused.

These early JT stories are always rather childish, largely because JT himself was a rather immature character.  Eventually, by the time season 5 rolled around, JT would have a pregnant girlfriend and a side hustle selling drugs and he would become a much more interesting character.  And, of course, he would eventually end up getting stabbed to death outside of Emma’s house.  But that’s all far in the future….

Seriously, though, it’s impossible to watch a JT episode without thinking, “Hey, that kid is going to die in a scene that was probably too graphic for a high school show.”

As for the B-plot of this adequate but not particularly memorable episode, Spinner and Jimmy decide to always be brutally honest with each other.  It doesn’t last for long.  They should have tried to get Marco in on the pledge.  Now, that would have been some drama!

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life on the Street 5.8 “The True Test”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, a special guest star ends up in the Box.

Episode 5.8 “The True Test”

(Dir by Alan Taylor, originally aired on November 22nd, 1996)

At the end of this week’s episode, Pembleton finds out that he has finally passed his firearms exam and he’s been cleared to return to active duty.  Excusing the suspension of disbelief necessary to buy that Pembleton has recovered that quickly from his stroke, it’s a good thing that Pembleton and Bayliss will be working together again.  Because, seriously, Bayliss spent this episode acting like an unprofessional ass.

There’s been a murder at the exclusive Larchmont Academy.  Fifteen year-old Marshall Buchanan, the only black student at the entire school, has been found on the athletic field, stabbed to death.  It’s Lewis’s case but his temporary partner, Bayliss, takes charge.  Bayliss is convinced that Marshall was killed by a student and that the killing was racially motivated.  Bayliss is rude to the headmaster.  He’s rude to Marshall’s 12 year-old roommates.  He gets angry in the cafeteria and starts banging his hand on a table while everyone is trying to eat.  Lewis finally asks Bayliss what his problem is.  Bayliss explains that he grew up near Larchmont.  His cousin desperately wanted to go to Larchmont but was rejected because he wasn’t from an old money family.  Bayliss has never forgotten the way his cousin cried after getting his rejection letter.

Hey, Bayliss, you know what?

Big freaking deal.  None of that matters!

Your cousin wasn’t accepted?

Oh, boo hoo.  That has nothing to do with the case!

Usually, I like Bayliss and, even more importantly, I like Kyle Secor’s performance as Bayliss.  But, in this episode, Bayliss was just kind of whiny.  Pembleton would have told him to knock it off.  Lewis just ignores him.

Bayliss is right about one thing.  The murderer is a student, a 17 year-old sociopath named McPhee Broadman.  (Seriously, Homicide, you couldn’t have come up with a less on-the-nose name?)  McPhee is a sociopath who is looked up to by a bunch of the younger students.  His mother (Sagan Lewis) is a judge and therefore, he thinks he’s untouchable.  McPhee is played by a young Elijah Wood and Wood, it must be said, gives a chilling performance as the young murderer.  Towards the end of the episode, a smirking McPhee confesses to the crime.  Even after hearing him confess and say that he wants to kill her, McPhee’s mother still immediately starts making plans to defend him and to suppress his confession.

And she’ll probably succeed.  Bayliss has an obvious personal issue with McPhee.  And, as far as I could tell, neither Bayliss nor Lewis bothered to Mirandize him before interrogating him.  Way to let a murderer back out on the streets, guys!

Seriously, thank God Pembleton is back.

As for Kellerman, he is still on restricted duty but he did buy Dr. Cox a drink at the Waterfront and it’s kind of easy to see where things are heading with those two.  But if Pembleton can recover from a stroke in eight episodes, Kellerman can beat those bribery charges.  I have faith.

Brad reviews CRISIS NEGOTIATORS (2024), starring Lau Ching-Wan & Francis Ng!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

My wife loves Hallmark movies and a handful of other movies that she tends to want to watch over and over again. That list of movies includes DIE HARD, VOLCANO, STRIKING DISTANCE and THE NEGOTIATOR. Every time we go to the family cabin for a weekend getaway, she insists that I pack our DVD of THE NEGOTIATOR to watch at some point over the weekend. It’s fair to say I’ve watched the film at least 10 times over the last 10 years or so, and I really do enjoy it. Did you know that filmmakers in Hong Kong remade THE NEGOTIATOR back in 2024 under the title of CRISIS NEGOTIATORS? It’s produced by superstar Andy Lau, who does a cameo. It’s directed by Herman Yau, who’s directed such successful and diverse films as THE UNTOLD STORY and the SHOCK WAVE franchise. It stars two of the best Hong Kong actors of the last 3 decades in Lau Ching-Wan & Francis Ng. Of course I had to see it!

If you’ve seen the original film, there aren’t a lot of surprises in CRISIS NEGOTIATORS. Lau Ching-Wan plays Man Wai, an expert police negotiator. After celebrating his latest birthday, he gets a message to meet a friend and co-worker whose investigation into thefts from the “Police Welfare Fund” seems to implicate fellow members of the police force. When he shows up at the meeting, his friend has been murdered and the cops are soon on the scene. Arrested and determined to prove his innocence, Man Wai escapes custody and makes his way to the Internal Investigations Unit. He takes his own set of hostages, one of which may be involved in taking money from the Police Welfare Funds. He has an interesting request… I’ll only talk to Tse Ka Chun (Francis Ng). Chun, a former police negotiator who left the force to become a social worker, is soon on the scene. As Man interrogates the hostages and talks to Chun, it becomes apparent that he’s been set up. But will he live long enough to expose the real killers?! 

As a huge fan of Hong Kong cinema, and after having seen THE NEGOTIATOR so many times, I thought it would be fun to compare the two films and look for things that stand out in the Hong Kong version. CRISIS NEGOTIATORS opens with a particularly interesting sequence where an unstable couple armed with knives takes the workers of a family services center hostage. It seems that their young son has been forcibly removed from their home and they want him back. Man Wai (Lau Ching-Wan) and Chun (Francis Ng) work together to try to resolve the situation. What makes this opening unique is that the actor playing the unstable man is Andy Lau, a true superstar of Hong Cinema and entertainment in general (he’s one of the 4 “Heavenly Kings of Cantopop). Lau is one of the producers of the film, so it makes sense he threw a little of his star power in front of the camera, even if the cameo is the exact opposite of many of his roles. In English language terms, it would be like Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio being in the opening scene of THE NEGOTIATOR. 

Another difference in the two films that I really appreciate is the character of Tse Ka Chun, played so well by veteran Hong Kong star Francis Ng. As good as Kevin Spacey is in THE NEGOTIATOR, I really appreciate the tweaks made for the Hong Kong version to Chun. In this version, Chun reluctantly comes back to help the police in this specific situation. He has dedicated his life to helping the poor and unfortunate souls who have found themselves on the lowest rungs of Hong Kong society. In other words, he’s just a really good guy. There are a couple of sequences where he interacts with this poor beggar of an old granny that makes my heart swell as he treats her with kindness and dignity while others do not. It also provides a hilarious payoff at the film’s conclusion. 

Lau Ching-Wan is great in the central role of Cheuk Man Wai. A 4-time winner (and 18 time nominee) of the Hong Kong Film Award for Best Actor, Lau is simply one of the best actors working in Chinese language cinema. While I don’t give him an edge over Samuel Jackson’s intense performance in the original film, Lau brings his talent to bear in the role and doesn’t miss a beat. Other performances that stand out to me are provided by veterans like Michael Miu as a corrupt superior officer and Kent Cheng as the older cop in charge of everything. Cheng’s character and performance isn’t anything special, but I just enjoy seeing him on screen. One character who can’t be replaced in the original movie is the smarmy Internal Affairs officer played by the late, great J.T. Walsh. Walsh was truly a one-of-a-kind talent, and I don’t think anyone else can do what he did so well. Veteran Hong Kong actor Michael Chow gives a solid turn as the corrupt II agent here, but it’s just too much of an uphill climb. Man Wai’s hostages are pretty good as well, but can’t really compete with the memorable work by Siobhan Fallon Hogan and Paul Giamatti in the original. 

CRISIS NEGOTIATORS would have no chance to work if it didn’t capture some of the intensity of the original film, and I think it was largely successful in that endeavor. Director Herman Yau does a fine job, and I did find myself really getting into the film as the pressure ratcheted up on the main characters. With that being said, outside of a couple of changes, the film sticks pretty close to the original so fans will definitely be in very familiar territory. 

The primary purpose for making CRISIS NEGOTIATORS was to take the excellent story of THE NEGOTIATOR into the lucrative Chinese language market. It had a respectable box office return in the summer of 2024, bringing in around $22 million in mainland China and around $11 million HK dollars in Hong Kong. With good, but not great numbers, the film mostly fulfills its purpose. At the end of the day, CRISIS NEGOTIATORS won’t replace THE NEGOTIATOR on my watch list, but I still enjoyed it very much. I appreciate the cinema and stars of other parts of the world, and this remake was time well spent!

CRISIS NEGOTIATORS is currently streaming on Tubi. 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.1 “The Prom”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, we begin season 2!

Episode 2.1 “The Prom”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 8th, 1990)

It’s time for the prom!

Wow, the second season really jumps into things, doesn’t it?  Most high school shows tend to take the “each season is one school year approach” but the second season of Saved By The Bell opens with prom.

It’s time for Kelly to finally decide who is going to be prom date (and boyfriend), Slater or Zack.  If the first season occasionally featured Kelly acting a bit flighty and, at times, self-centered, the second season introduces us to the new Kelly, who is in love with Zack but who also doesn’t want to hurt Slater’s feelings.  This is also the Kelly who suddenly comes from a huge blue collar family.  Kelly agrees to go to prom with Zack (and Slater, being awesome, accepts her decision with grace).  But when her father is laid off from his job at the defense plant (“World peace has broken out,” he explains — and you can thank Ronald Reagan and the first George Bush for that!  USA!  USA!  USA!), Kelly gives up going to prom because her family needs the money that she would have spent on the evening.

(Kelly, Zack’s superrich!  Just have him pay for everything….)

Zack is upset, until Slater tells him that Kelly’s father lost his job.

“Poor Kelly,” Zack says.

“That’s right,” Slater replies.  “Poor Kelly.  Not poor Zacky.”

HELL YEAH!  I LOVE SLATER!

Slater does go to prom, with Jessie.  (This is an important episode for Slater and Jessie too.)  Meanwhile, Screech asks Lisa to be his date.  When Lisa turns him down, Screech begs her to just see a movie with him.  It’s a zombie movie and Lisa loves it!  But apparently, Screech has an issue with people who love movies because he gets mad at Lisa for talking too much and decides to go to prom alone.  For some reason, Screech becomes the prom’s DJ.  Meanwhile, Lisa bores her date by talking nonstop about the zombie movie ….. wow, this all feels very familiar to me.

As for Zack and Kelly, they do go to prom!  They dance outside of the gym and it’s one of the few genuinely romantic moments to be found in Saved By The Bell.  It’s also one of the few moments that captures the unique mix of melancholy and optimism that goes along with being a teenager.

The second season is off to a great start!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 4/26/26 — 5/2/26

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I didn’t watch a hell of a lot this week.  Here’s a few thoughts on what I did watch.

Baywatch (Tubi)

You can read my review here.

Dr. Phil (Pluto TV)

I was bored.  I watched a few episodes this week.  Dr. Phil put bad parents and bratty children in their place.  One episode featured a guy who refused to take a drug test.  Finally, he did take the test and he tested negative.  I respected him for trying to stay true to his beliefs even when it would have been easier just to give in.

Freddy’s Nightmares (Tubi)

You can read my review here.

George Gently (YouTube)

He’s a British policeman and he’s not that gentle!  I watched an episode on Tuesday.

Git It On (PBS)

This was a 70s dance show.  I watched an episode on Friday night.

Hollywood Demons (HBOMax)

I watched the latest episode of this sensationalized but undeniably addictive show on Wednesday.  It was all about child actor and how their adult lives often seem to go off the rails.  Sometimes, I feel bad for all the child actors who went on to live non-tragic, non-scandalous lives.  Nobody ever takes the time to congratulate them on not self-destructing.

Intervention (Tubi)

I specifically tracked down the Ken Seeley episodes because Ken’s interventions always seemed to descend into chaos.

Kyōryū Sentai Zyuranger (Shout TV)

On Friday, I watched three episodes of this Japanese show about teenagers who carried the fighting spirits of various dinosaurs.  The saber-tooth tiger is so cool!

St. Elsewhere (Daily Motion)

You can read my review here.

Who’s The Boss (Prime)

I played this at night whenever I had insomnia.  The theme song always put me right to sleep.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001.  The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we start season 2 of Baywatch.  Canceled by NBC, Baywatch found a new home in syndication.  The show was re-launched with a special two-hour premiere.  (For subsequent re-airings, the premiere was split into two episodes.)

Episode 2.1 and 2.2 “Nightmare Cove”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on September 23rd, 1991)

A year and half after the final episode of Bayside’s network run, the show returns to the beach.

On the one hand, the basic idea is the same.  David Hasselhoff plays Mitch Buchanan, a divorced father who loves nothing more than being a lifeguard.  Eddie (Billy Warlock) and Shauni (Erika Eleniak) are two young lifeguards who are in love (though their engagement from the previous season is not mentioned).  Don Thorpe (Monte Markham) is Mitch’s no-nonsense boss. The sunsets are still beautiful.  The beaches are still inviting.

And yet, there are a few differences:

  1. Craig, Cort, Gina, Garner, and Trevor are nowhere to be seen.  (Craig, Cort, and Garner will all eventually return.  Gina and Trevor will never be mentioned again.)
  2. Hobie, Mitch’s son, is now played by Jeremy Jackson.
  3. Richard Jaeckel, who played doomed life guard Al Edwards in the pilot film, is now playing Ben Edwards, who apparently is meant to be the same character as Al.  (Mitch specifically mentions that Ben broke his leg when the pier collapsed, retconning Al’s heroic death into a mere injury.)
  4. Cort may be gone but there’s a new money-hungry lifeguard named Harvey (Tim McTigue).
  5. The second season premiere features even more musical montages than appeared in the first season.
  6. The second season premiere features a lot of random shots of women in skimpy bikinis.
  7. The red Baywatch one-piece swimsuits are back but now, they’re considerably tighter and more high-cut.
  8. The new Baywatch was airing in syndication.

I get the feeling that the Baywatch cameraman probably got together and all chanted, “Syndication, baby!” before running out onto the beach.  Even though the second season premiere is still far from what Baywatch would eventually become, one can already see the development of the aesthetic that led to it becoming the number one show for 90s frat boys and dads suffering from a midlife crisis.

As for this episode, there are rumors of an underwater monster and everyone wants in on the action.  Mitch saves an underwater photographer and falls in love for an episode.  Hasslehoff’s then-wife, Pamela Bach, plays a reporter whose editor wants sensationalized stories about the “beast of the bay.”  Of course, the beast of the bay is actually just the creation of an offshore oil company who wants to drill and ruin the environment because why not?  Luckily, one of the lifeguard, Devon (Andrea Thompson), is also an environmental activist.  Of course, Andrea Thompson is not listed in the opening credits so I imagine we’ll never see Devon again.

While Mitch is investigating the monster, Shauni rescues a little girl from drowning and then gets involved in the family’s life.  The family is black and the little girl’s brother is being recruited by a street gang so the very white Shauni arranges from him to join the junior lifeguards instead.  Shauni’s critical father (Albert Stratton) is impressed but I have to admit that I found the storyline to be a bit condescending.  Like a lot of 90s shows, Baywatch was at its weakest when it tried to deal with real-life issues.  It’s hard not to notice that whenever a guest actor who wasn’t white showed up on episode of Baywatch, they were always either being tempted or pressured to join a gang or they were trying to get out of the gang lifestyle.

In this episode, there’s an odd moment when Hobie decides to go into a storm drain and pretend to be the monster, which leads to a panic on the beach and monster hunters showing up with guns.  Mitch shows up and ends the situation before it gets too out-of-hand but you really do have to wonder if maybe Hobie would be better off with his mother.  I mean, seriously, Mitch — what are you doing here?  Your son is apparently an idiot who never learned anything from the dozen or so times his life was put in danger during the first season.

Finally, Thorpe gets promoted and he wants Mitch to take his place as chief.  Mitch argues that the new chief should be Ben Edwards.  Since apparently Ben has the power to come back from the dead, I can see Mitch’s logic.  In the end, Thorpe agrees.

And that’s it for this episode.  It’s definitely Baywatch but it’s still not quite as fun as the show would eventually become once it fully embraced just how ludicrous things could get in syndication.  This episode — and I imagine the rest of this season — feels like a show that is still making the transition from network television to anything-goes syndication.  Eventually, the show will get David Charvet, Pamela Anderson, and David “The Bulge” Chokachi.  During season 2, it was still just Billy Warlock and Erika Eleniak.