The Babymakers”

Posted on May 27, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, it’s all about maids and bartenders!

Episode 7.22 “The Lady and the Maid/Love Is Blind/The Babymakers”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on March 3rd, 1984)

This week, it’s a busy cruise!

Dorothy Fielding (Luise Rainer) boards the boat and immediately runs into her twin sister, Maggie (also played by Rainer). Maggie is working as a maid and she resents her sister. But when Dorothy agrees to switch places with Maggie, Maggie gets to date the charming and rich Stewart Coolidge (Don Ameche). This storyline features not one but two Oscar winners. Ameche won an Oscar for his role in Cocoon, albeit after this show aired. Rainer won two Oscars, back-to-back, in the 30s and then seemingly vanished from film screens. Unfortunately, while Ameche is charming, Rainer comes across as if she would rather be anywhere than playing twins on an episode of The Love Boat. There were several scenes in which Rainer spoke with Rainer. They were obviously included to show off the show’s split-screen approach but, unfortunately, Rainer never seemed to be sure which direction either twin should be looking while interacting with the other.

Sheila (Jennilee Harrison) is desperately trying to get pregnant. Doc mentions to her husband (Kim Shriner) that most babies are conceived during makeup sex. Guess who starts a totally random argument with his wife? This was a silly story but, to be honest, the main appeal of this show has always been its silliness. Harrison and Shriner were beyond adorable.

Finally, Isaac’s blind friend, Darnell Hall (LeVar Burton), boards the ship and takes part in Isaac’s bartending school. Darnell and Isaac also compete for the attention of Terry Cook (Shari Belafonte). And before anyone says anything — yes, I know Burton played a blind guy on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I don’t care. As for who Terry picks …. well, Isaac is a regular character and Terry isn’t. It’s not that hard to guess how things are going to turn out.

That said, I know what you really want to know.

Julie doesn’t do much in this episode but she does sound rather excited about wishing everyone a happy day in Mexico. I’m going to say seven out of ten.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.5 “Overkill”

Posted on May 26, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

It’s time for another stupid trip to L.A.

Episode 4.5 “Overkill”

(Dir by Sara Rose, originally aired on August 23rd, 1998)

Jamie is learning martial arts from Master Soo Han (Yoshi Jenkins). When she is saved from a group of muggers by a fellow classmate named Kyle (Matty Liu), she starts to fall in love with him. Soon, he is teaching her how to be a better fighter. For some reason, Jamie doesn’t tell Kyle that she’s a cop. That makes things awkward when Kyle realizes that 1) the man who killed his mother is a student in the class and 2) Kyle is being groomed to be a government assassin.

I’ve always said that you can tell when a show has cast a professional athlete in a guest role because the athlete is always the worst actor in the episode. That was certainly the case here. At first, I was sure that Matty Liu was a professional martial artist. It turns out that he’s actually a pro surfer but still, my point stands. It doesn’t matter how many camera tricks or jump cuts the show uses to make Liu look like a badass, he’s still an amazingly stiff actor. The scenes of him and Jamie falling in love don’t work because he’s not capable of showing any emotion, let alone love.

Speaking of love, Chris is still mad that her husband didn’t select her to be promoted to sergeant. When she discovers a murder victim, she impresses Homicide Detective Thomas (Carl T. Evans) by figuring out that the victim died from a — wait for it — broken neck. WOW! Amazing deduction, Chris! I mean, how difficult is it to spot a broken neck? Even though Chris is neither a medical examiner nor a detective, Thomas invites her to fill in for a sick Homicide detective. Chris accepts.

TC’s not happy about that! Actually, TC’s never happy. He’s been in charge of Pacific Blue for five episodes now and he hasn’t smiled once. He has spent a lot of time glaring. In fact, both he and Cory spend most of their time glaring at other people now. I guess that’s what you do when you’re in charge, management by glaring.

Finally, Bobby and Spazz compete over — wait a minute, I got a name wrong there. What is Spazz’s real name? Is it Granger? Yeah, okay, sorry about that. Bobby and Granger serve as body guards for a French actress (Lydie Denier), who claims that she’s being stalked. Bobby has seen all of her films but she’s more attracted to Spazz, for some reason. Sorry, Bobby! I would have picked you.

Anyway, this was one of Pacific Blue’s dumbest episodes yet. Chris is even more whiny than usual. TC and Cory are useless. Jamie and Kyle’s fight scenes are edited in such a way that one gets dizzy trying to follow them. This episode featured bad acting and worst direction, No wonder Chris wants to transfer to Homicide.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.4 “Blood Money”

Posted on May 26, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.

This week, it’s time to learn a lesson about giving blood.

Episode 2.4 “Blood Money”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 17th, 1994)

Megan is running the school blood drive but no one wants to give blood. Mr. Belding tries to teach everyone a lesson by volunteering but he’s informed by nurse Penny Brady (Emma Caulfield) that he has high cholesterol. Not only does Belding need to start an exercise regimen but he’s apparently too fat to chaperone the school’s hiking trip.

Not wanting the school’s butch gym teacher to chaperone the trip, Brian decides that Screech should be the chaperone. However, Screech is depressed because he has a crush on Penny but he can’t work up the courage to ask her out. Brian tells Penny that he’ll get everyone in the school to donate blood if she agrees to go out with Screech….

Ugh. This is another Screech-is-in-love episode. Dustin Diamond was nowhere near as bad during season 2 as he would be in later seasons but still, watching the previously asexual Screech date someone is not a pleasant experience. Penny discovers that she actually likes Screech (why?) but then Screech hears that she was bribed to go out with him and he gets his feelings hurt.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HIKING TRIP?

Seriously, screw the hiking trip. Why is this school always sponsoring a trip somewhere? Just give people their diplomas and stay out of their lives….

Oh no, Tommy D’s previously unseen best friend was in a motorcycle accident! And he has a very rare blood type! Only Screech can save him! Screech gives blood, everyone apologizes for setting him up, and Screech agrees to chaperone the trip and to continue dating Penny. I’m going to guess that didn’t last since Screech ended up dating Allison while working at the country club over the summer.

Meanwhile, some poor biker has gallons of Screech inside of him.

What an episode. The whole problem with the first season is that the students were not very likable. Now, the show actually has likable students but all of the attention is on Screech. It’s like this show just wanted to fail!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.21 “The Game of War”

Posted on May 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week …. it’s jet pack time!

Episode 5.21 “The Game of War”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on March 14th, 1982)

While the members of the Highway Patrol try and fail to beat Harlan at chess, Peter J. Stoler (Clu Gulager) plots a prison break. Stoler is one of the leading members of a group of former soldiers. On the weekends, they engage in war games. During the week, they plot to spring their former leader, Rascoe (Johnny Seven), from prison. Peter has just received a jet pack. Unless the Highway Patrol can stop them, Rascoe is going to fly to freedom.

Meanwhile, a process server named Darla Mason (Sandra Kerns) goes to ludicrous lengths to serve her targets. She pretends to have car trouble. She wears old person makeup. She does whatever she needs to do to get her target to lower their defenses so that she can hand them their court papers and say, “You’ve been served.” Process servers are a necessary part of our legal system but I’ve never cared much for any of the ones that I’ve known. It takes a certain amount of cruelty to get close to someone just so you can give them a summons. Darla is a fairly annoying character and I certainly wasn’t upset when Rascoe’s militia abducted her. And when the episode ended with her getting served, it felt like poetic justice.

This episode was nothing special but it held my attention. I mean, how can you not enjoy a little jet pack action? Clu Gulager was actually somewhat sympathetic as the main bad guy. Personally, I think Ponch and Baker should have let him go. Just give him his jet pack and let him fly away. He didn’t mean any harm!

Seriously, they should have given Clu his own show.

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.5 “The War”

Posted on May 25, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988. The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Luca has to prove himself.

Episode 1.5 “The War”

(Dir by Leon Ichaso, originally aired on October 7th, 1986)

Luca is in trouble.

Last week’s episode ended with Max Goldman on the receiving end of a beating from Noah Ganz’s goons. Goldman survives and returns with a message. Ganz is not happy that Luca tried to steal his book. Bartoli, Weisbord, and Fosse all inform Luca will have to resolve the Ganz situation on his own.

Luca tries to get public defender David Abrams (Stephen Lang) to act as a negotiator for him but David doesn’t want to get involved in the mobster lifestyle that made his father rich. David just wants to defend the poor and play sax in a jazz club. When Luca is attacked while driving in Chicago, he realizes that negotiating with Ganz is a dead end.

Instead, he just kills Ganz. In a bravura sequence, Luca shows up at a hotel and, with the help of sniper, takes down Ganz’s bodyguards. Then he uses a bomb to take out Ganz while the latter is holding court in an elevator. A plume of white smoke puffs out of the hotel’s exhaust vent.

Having taken care of the issue, Luca is welcomed back into the family. Weisbord says, “Call me Mac.” Fosse (played by Michael Madsen) nods and slowly smokes a cigarette.

Meanwhile, Torello’s wife miscarries. This is the episode that features the clip of Torello walking down a lonely Chicago street on a rainy night. (The clip is prominently featured during the show’s opening credits.) In fact, both Torello and Luca end up spending a good deal of time walking around at night while David Abrams plays his saxophone. It’s a scene that is so overstylized that it shouldn’t work but somehow, it does. If nothing else, it reminds us that Crime Story of two dangerously obsessed men on a collision course.

This was a good episode, if just because it showed that Luca can be a clever criminal when he needs to be. Before this episode, Luca seemed to be clearly outmatched by Torello. With this episode, Luca proved himself to be Torello’s equal.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.18 “Dressed in Black”

Posted on May 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Ashley is back with Jimmy. But for how long?

Episode 2.18 “Dressed in Black”

(Dir by Gavin Smith, originally aired on January 19th, 2003)

This episode of Degrassi features one of my favorite opening scenes. Ashley, in full goth mode, sings a depressing and rather overwrought song to Jimmy, who she is finally dating again. Jimmy listens and is obviously struggling to appear interested. After Ashley finishes, Jimmy tells her that it was a great song. Ashley asks him if he really understood it. Jimmy nods. Ashley says that she’s going to sing another one. Jimmy gets a panicked look on his face….

While Ellie has always been the character to whom I’ve related (we’re both reheads!), I have to admit that I was probably more like Ashley in high school. I wrote my share of emo poetry and I always made sure to ask my friends whether or not they got what I was truly trying to say. One reason why I would ask was that I really wasn’t sure what I was trying to say.

Anyway, this episode features Ashley and Jimmy back together for a short time. Unfortunately, Jimmy wants to bring back the old Ashley while Ashley wants to be the new Ashley. Ashley also has a pretty obvious crush on Craig, who captures her attention by discussing how Shakespeare was actually a misogynistic creep. For their English class, Jimmy and Hazel and Craig and Ashley are instructed to reinterpret Taming of the Shrew for a modern audience. Jimmy and Hazel come up with a silly love story, complete with Hazel doing a cheer. Craig and Ashley interpret the play as a harrowing portrait of domestic abuse.

At the end of the episode, Ashley gives Jimmy a poem and breaks up with him. I once did the same thing in high school. I still feel kind of bad about it. I worked way too hard to make it rhyme.

Meanwhile, after sitting through a sex ed class, Toby and JT buy condoms. Spinner finds out and, seeing as how Toby is dating Spinner’s adopted sister, he is not amused. Spinner tells Toby that there’s already too much pressure on young women to be sexually active. Wow, that’s a good message but also totally out-of-character for Spinner!

This storyline …. eh. Toby’s storylines were always kind of boring, largely because Toby never got to do much other than try to hide in the hallways. I’m glad he’s no longer pining over Emma but still, he’s not a particularly interesting character and the writers never seemed to really know what to do with either him or Kendra.

This episode is a lot more interesting if you know that Ashley and Craig are eventually going to become a couple and that Craig’s going to end up on the streets after trying to kill Joey during a manic episode. And let’s not even talk about the fact that Ashley is going to eventually steal Jimmy’s music and use it to launch her own career. As a stand-alone episode, it’s a bit blah but it definitely foreshadows the show that Degrassi is going to become.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 5.11 “The Documentary”

Posted on May 24, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, Brodie reveals his film!

Episode 5.11 “The Documentary”

(Dir by Barbara Kopple, originally aired on January 3rd, 1997)

On December 31st, the detectives are gathered in the squad room and waiting for the big ball to drop in New York. The phones have not rung all night but, as Munch keeps reminding everyone, that is soon going to change. Brodie comes in with a VHS tape and shows the detectives the documentary that he’s filmed about them. Finally, we learn why Brodie has been filming random corners of the station for the past few episodes.

I have to admit that I was expecting this to be a clip show and there is one lengthy montage that is made up of scenes taken from previous episodes. But, for the most part, the documentary is all new footage. We watch as Bayliss and Pembleton investigate a murder committed by a mortician who didn’t want people to learn that he was dressing up the dead and posing with them. (Yikes!) All of the detectives take a turn explaining how the Miranda rights work, with their dialogue lifted pretty much intact from the David Simon book that inspired the show. In a parody of Homicide’s signature visual style, the same clip of Lewis and Kellerman walking into a bar is shown three times in a row. At one point, Lewis, Kellerman, and Brodie chase a suspect and run into a Barry Levinson-led film crew that is filming a show called Homicide. “Real cops don’t yell ‘freeze,'” Brodie tells Levinson.

It’s a clever episode, made all the more so by the reactions of the detectives watching themselves on screen. Pembleton confesses to Bayliss that it’s hard for him to watch footage of himself before his stroke because Pembleton doesn’t recognize the young and angry detective that he used to be. All of the detectives object to footage of them joking about their job. As the documentary ends, Giardello asks for the original copy for “safe keeping.” Brodie reveals that he already sold the documentary to PBS. “You can’t show us joking about dead people!” Munch says. “It’s an invasion of privacy!” Bayliss says. Brodie starts to defend himself but then the ball drops, the new year begins, and the phones start ringing.

This was a good ensemble episode. If, for some reason, you only wanted to watch the later episodes of Homicide, this would be a good one to start with because the documentary re-introduces us to everyone. Funny, dramatic, and eventually quite emotional, this episode was Homicide at its best.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell 2.4 “Driver’s Education”

Posted on May 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell, which ran on NBC from 1989 to 1993. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, it’s time to learn how to drive!

Episode 2.4 “Driver’s Education”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 29th, 1990)

Good Lord, Zack Morris is so insecure!

Even though Zack and Kelly have been dating since the prom, Zack still fears that Kelly will dump him when Slater turns 16 and gets his driver’s license. Slater’s already got a car. Sure, the car looks bad at first but Slater says he’s going to fix it up and, one jump cut later, he’s got a pretty badass red convertible.

Zack’s solution? If you thought Zack would respond by resolving to be such a great boyfriend that Kelly wouldn’t leave him, you don’t know Zack Morris! Instead, Zack comes up with a ludicrously complicated scheme to cause Slater to flunk driver’s education.

A few words about driver’s ed at Bayside:

First off, driver’s ed is one of the many classes that is taught by Mr. Tuttle (Jack Angeles). Last season, Mr. Tuttle inspired the creation of Buddy Bands. This season, he’s teaching the students how to drive and complaining that he should have been named principal instead of “Mr. Balding.” Mr. Tuttle was one of the few recurring teachers on Saved By The Bell and Jack Angeles, who was an attorney in real life, was a good comedic actor. It’s almost always a good sign when Tuttle shows up.

Secondly, at Bayside, students aren’t required to actually drive a car. Instead, they drive this thing:

Seriously, this thing has got three wheels and apparently, it’s not supposed to leave the classroom. How are you going to learn how to drive in this thing!? To his credit, Mr. Belding mentions that he’s often told Tuttle to get rid of this half-assed attempt at a car.

Zack’s plan is to take the driver’s ed car out of the classroom so that Slater can give him a private lesson. Slater will get caught in the faux car and somehow, this will lead to him getting kicked out of class. (Since it’s established that Slater already knows how to drive, couldn’t he just go down to the DMV and take the test regardless of the class?) However, Kelly asks Slater for a ride, Zack attempts to get Kelly out of the fake car, and the pretend car ends up crashing into a locker. Slater, Zack, and Kelly run for it.

In order to get Zack to confess, Kelly pretends to have amnesia. When Zack announces that he will not only confess but that he’ll also get Kelly the best medical care available (good luck doing with with no car, Zack!), Kelly says that she knew “Zack” would do the right thing. Hearing his name, Zack realizes that Kelly never had amnesia. Zack says that he’s not going to confess and it won’t matter because what’s Belding going to do? Flunk everyone?

The next day, at the start of class, Belding announces that he’s flunking everyone.

At first, Kelly stands up says that she’s to blame. Slater jumps up and accepts responsibility because Slater’s a soldier at heart. Realizing that Slater now looks a lot better than him, Zack finally admits that he’s the one who took the driver’s ed car out of the classroom. The end result is that Zack flunks, Slater gets two weeks of detention, and Kelly gets …. no punishment at all.

This was actually a pretty enjoyable episode. I mean, it was dumb but that’s par for the course when it comes to Saved By The Bell. This episode features a lot of Tuttle comedy and Mario Lopez once again outacting everyone else in the cast. That’s what Saved By The Bell is all about.

Retro Television Review: Baywatch 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”

Posted on May 23, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch, which ran on NBC and then in syndication from 1989 to 2001. The entire show can be viewed on Tubi.

This week, we meet Mitch’s brother.

Episode 2.5 “The Fabulous Buchanan Boys”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on October 14th, 1991)

Mitch’s brother, Buzz (Tim Thomerson), shows up with his 12 year-old son, Kyle (Chance Michael Corbitt)! Mitch is reunited with Buzz and they both realize that they’re two old beach bums who are not getting any younger. That’s especially true in the case of Buzz. The show makes it clear that Buzz is Mitch’s older brother but we’re still left wondering just how much older. With his gray hair and his weathered features, Tim Thomerson looks like he’s nearly 70 while Hasselhoff appears to be in his late 30s.

And that’s pretty much it.

Okay, in all fairness to the show, there is a bit more of a plot than just Buzz showing up but none of it adds up to much. Mitch’s girlfriend, reporter Kaye Morgan (Pamela Bach), is pressured by her father to kill a story about a dangerous pier. Kyle has a bad attitude and has an accident while surfing at that pier. Luckily, the lifeguards are able to save him. Eduardo (Buzz Belmondo) sells bikinis on the beach but — ha ha — the bikinis dissolve when soaked in salt water. Eddie and Shauni have to help a lot of suddenly naked people get out of the water. “We’re in syndication!” the show loudly announces. Meanwhile, I’m left to wonder why you would buy a bikini from a stranger with a pencil-thin mustache.

For the most part, though, this was a montage episode. The plot was secondary to the music playing behind slickly edited montages of Buzz and Mitch bonding. Buzz and Kyle leave town at the end of the episode but, given how close Buzz and Mitch are, I’m sure that Buzz will return frequently in the future.

(Buzz will never be seen again.)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Freddy’s Nightmares 2.14 “Easy Come, Easy Go”

Posted on May 22, 2026 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!

This week, Mary Crosby returns. And hey — is that Wings Hauser!?

Episode 2.14 “Easy Come, Easy Go”

(Dir by William Malone, originally aired on January 14th, 1990)

In this sequel to Lucky Stiff, Greta (Mary Crosby) is still living in her mansion with her new husband, Eugene (Tracey Walter). She’s married to Eugene so that Eugene won’t turn her in for having killed her previous husband. Eugene says that he’ll leave the mansion as soon as they consummate the marriage. Greta, however, has standards. As a result, Eugene lives in the basement.

When her former brother-in-law, Wes Roscoe (Richard Eden), shows up, it doesn’t take long for a lingerie-clad Greta to seduce him. It soon becomes apparent that Wes wants her money and vengeance for the death of his brother. She makes plans to poison him but, when Wes attacks her, her life is saved by Eugene. Greta realizes that she loves Eugene. She sleeps with him. Immediately afterwards, Eugene accidentally drinks the poison and dies. Sorry, Eugene!

Shortly afterwards, Greta’s sister, Peggy (Jill Jacobson), shows up with her husband, eyepatch-wearing Sonny (Wings Hauser). Sonny is Greta’s ex. In fact, he blames her for the loss of his eye. (They got into an argument in a car and a slap from Greta sent Sonny plunging eye-first into the gear shift.) Greta seduces and then kills Sonny, just as she’s done with every man who has tried to take her money. But then Peggy turns out to be a sociopath herself (“I killed mom and dad.”) and proceeds to shoot Greta.

“Easy come, easy go,” Greta gasps.

This episode was so over-the-top and cheerfully sordid that it was impossible not to enjoy it. Mary Crosby threw herself into the femme fatale role. Wings Hauser, as always, was amusingly disturbed as the bad guy. Both stories were wonderfully sordid. Even without any supernatural elements, this was a truly fun episode.