Category Archives: Retro Television Reviews

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 4.10 “Loss of Power”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Daily Motion.

This week, the lights go out.

Episode 4.10 “Loss of Power”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 11th, 1985)

Due to a blizzard, the power has gone down in Boston. At St. Eligius, the backup generator comes to a sputtering and unreliable life. Over the course of the night shift, many things happen in the dark.

Dr. Craig successfully performs lifesaving surgery without being able to use any of the tools that surgeons have come to take for granted. After the grueling operation is completed, he leaves the ER without thanking anyone else. Dr. Wade chases after him and tells him that he should have at least told everyone that they did a good job. Dr. Craig replies that everyone did their job like they were supposed to. Just the fact that he allows them into his operating room should be thanks enough.

Pru Dowler (Amanda Wyss), the developmentally challenged teenager who was caught having sex in her hospital room a few episodes ago, returns with her mother (Terrence O’Connor). Pru has been having stomach pains and morning sickness. After Dr. Morrison confirms that Pru is pregnant, her mother says that Pru will be having an abortion. Morrison tries to talk her out of it, to no avail.

Working at the nurses’ station, Helen Rosenthal gets a summons to appear in court. Lucy is suing over the incident in which Helen slapped her.

Fiscus and Mona have sex in the hospital and, when Fiscus proposes, Mona accepts.

Elliott treats a patient who claims that he’s going to turn into either a vampire or a werewolf at midnight. Elliott thinks that the man belongs in the psych ward, but then he discovers that the man is actually suffering from a real condition that makes it difficult for him to go out during the day. The man spent so much time being made fun of for his nocturnal lifestyle that he eventually decided that he really was a vampire.

And finally, Dr. Westphall is stuck in an elevator with a claustrophobic man (Michael Des Barres) who is also named Donald. Stuck in an elevator with a stranger, Westphall does what he always does. He uses the situation as an excuse to start talking about the volunteer work he did in Ethiopia and how disappointed he is that everyone doesn’t share his attitude when it comes to community outreach. The other Donald responds by talking about the time he was thrown in jail for marijuana possession. Eventually, the other Donald dislocates his shoulder when he throws himself against the elevator doors.

Seriously, can you think of anything worse than being stuck in an elevator with Donald Westphall? Westphall is already one of the most depressing people on the planet. Now imagine being trapped in a confined space with him. Once again, this episode proves that Westphall can take any situation and turn it into a lesson about how he’s right and everyone else is wrong.

That said, I liked this episode. It reminded me of the season-one episode that featured a small group of doctors working the night shift. It was interesting to see how everyone adjusted to the darkness. This was a workplace episode in which we watched as everyone did their best under less than ideal conditions. In the end, it was obvious that Dr. Craig was correct.

His people are the best.

It would just be nice if he would let them know that once in a while.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Hunter 2.1 “Case X”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Hunter, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1991.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, we begin the second season!

Episode 2.1 “Case X”

(Dir by David Soul, originally aired on September 21st, 1985)

Adult-film actresses are turning up dead all over Los Angeles. Hunter and McCall have the case, and it does not take them long to see the pattern. The killer is sleazy photographer Tony Cochran (Leo Rossi), and the women are being supplied to him by former adult star turned talent agent Andrea Burden (Rita Taggart). Knowing who the murderer is and having the evidence to arrest him are two different things. After Tony murders his brother (Sam Anderson) and frames him for the crimes, it looks as if Tony might walk.

So, of course, McCall goes undercover. She joins the fitness club where Andrea works out and looks for girls. She poses in lingerie for Tony. (Just as in the first season, McCall going undercover seems to largely mean McCall wearing less clothes than usual.) And when Tony kidnaps her, it is up to Hunter to rescue her and fill Tony with lead.

In other words, the second season of Hunter opens in a style familiar to anyone who watched the first. Hunter is still a shoot-first rebel. McCall is still his continually in-peril partner. The bad guy still underestimates this violent duo. While Hunter and McCall solve the crimes and kill the villains, Bernie Terwilliger keeps trying to write them up for every infraction imaginable. In this episode, Terwilliger counts seven violations of police policy on the part of Hunter and McCall. I counted a bit more but maybe Terwilliger was trying to be charitable.

The one real change between seasons is a new commanding officer. John Amos has been replaced by Bruce Davison. As Captain Wyler, Davison wears a three-piece suit, never has a hair out of place, and bristles when Hunter refuses to follow orders. That said, Wyler congratulates Hunter at the end of the episode and tells Terwilliger to back off the ethics investigation. For once, Hunter has a boss who is not actively trying to get him kicked off the force.

The episode itself is pretty predictable. As soon as Leo Rossi’s name appeared in the guest credits, it was easy to guess who the murderer would turn out to be. Hunter is not a show about complex mysteries or shocking twists. It is a show about the chemistry between Fred Dryer and Stepfanie Kramer, and about the promise that the bad guys will be punished. This episode delivered on both.

Retro Television Review: Darke of the Night 1.1 “Who’s Been Sitting In My Chair?”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  This Thursday, I will be reviewing Darke of the Night, which aired its only episode on the DuMont Network in 1955.  The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s pilot originally aired as a part of the Studio 57 anthology show.

Episode 1.1 “Who’s Been Sitting In My Chair?”

(Dir by David Butler, originally aired on September 10th, 1955)

Johnny Darke (Jack Carson) is the hippest and coolest DJ in all of New York City .… or, at least, he’s as hip and cool as anyone could have been in 1955. All through the night, he spins records and talks to “the ghosts” who are listening. His station manager (Joseph Kearns) tells him that his sponsor doesn’t like it when Johnny talks about ghosts, but no one tells Johnny Darke what to do.

Johnny knows that a woman has been entering his apartment while he’s at the studio, but he doesn’t know why. (What I don’t know is why Johnny doesn’t just lock his door.) Johnny suspects that the woman is Margaret Canady (Jocelyn Brando), who lived in the apartment before Johnny moved in. Margaret’s boyfriend, Vincent Marsh (H.M. Wynant), is on death row for murder, but as Johnny learns about the case, he sees it as a story about two people who love each other as opposed to a woman who fell in love with a killer.

When Vincent breaks out of prison, he steals a guard’s gun and tells the guard that he’s going to use it to kill Margaret. (That was nice of him.) The police come down to the radio station and ask Johnny if he knows where to find Margaret. Johnny says that Margaret is probably at his apartment. After the police leave (and, strangely, do not immediately head over to Johnny’s apartment), Johnny calls his place and Margaret answers the phone. Apparently, Margaret’s not very good at secretly breaking into places.

When Johnny hears Vincent arrive over the phone, he hops over to his microphone and gives a cryptic message to “the ghost in the big brown chair” that the ghost who has just arrived is not in love with her. Then Johnny goes to his apartment and talks Vincent down.

This was a pilot for a series that would have featured Johnny Darke getting involved in the lives of his listeners. Jack Carson is likable as Johnny, which almost makes up for the fact that the story itself makes absolutely no sense. Why doesn’t Johnny just lock up his apartment before he heads to work? The implication is that Margaret is sneaking into the apartment to wait for Vincent to return, but there’s also a scene where it’s revealed that she’s secretly living with the building’s landlady. That scene is never followed up on. As I already mentioned, the biggest plot hole is that the police don’t immediately head over to Johnny’s apartment when they hear that Margaret is there. If they’re so determined to catch Vincent and they know that Vincent is planning on killing Margaret, why does it take them so long to actually go to the apartment? It seems like that should have been their priority.

Interestingly enough, the pilot ends with Jack Carson stepping out of character and offering up some statistics on the value of records purchased in 1957 ($4,000,000 worth) and the number of radio stations in the country. Carson explains that DJs are everywhere and every DJ has a million stories that could be adapted for Darke of the Night. He then brings on two actual DJs, Peter Potter and Al Jarvis. Both Potter and Jarvis endorse the idea of a weekly television series about a DJ.

It’s odd but, in its way, kind of touching. Jack Carson just seems so earnest and sincere about his desire to star as a radio DJ! Unfortunately, it didn’t happen for him. The pilot aired as part of the Studio 57 anthology series and that was that. Carson may not have gotten to play a DJ on a weekly basis, but two years later he co-starred in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof with Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor. Carson passed away in 1963 at the far too young age of 52, but he’ll live forever wherever classic movies are appreciated.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 5.2 “The Con”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, the Bulls get a new quarterback.

Episode 5.2 “The Con”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on October 18th, 1989)

Following the murder of Doug Clayton (who, if I remember correctly, was still alive in last season’s flash-forward), the Bulls need a new quarterback. T.D. Parker (O.J. Simpson) is contacted by a former player who now works as a prison guard. Vito Del Greco (Chris Meloni) is the prison’s best quarterback. He’s been serving time on a manslaughter charge, but he’s set to be released. T.D. watches Vito throw the ball once and signs him.

Coach Denardo isn’t happy. “I’m not a parole officer!” Kristy Fulbright and Michael Westwood aren’t happy either. They want a big name at quarterback. T.D. believes in Vito but still agrees to put him on the inactive list. A previously unseen and unmentioned player named Lenny Santino is hired as the new quarterback.

Vito struggles to fit in with the other Bulls and to adjust to being a free man. Billy Cooper makes the mistake of singing “Jailhouse Rock” off-key and gets punched out. “Nobody makes fun of Elvis!” That night at a bar, Vito is nearly goaded into another fight. (His manslaughter conviction came from a bar fight.) He announces, “Del Greco is dead,” and leaves.

That weekend the Bulls play their first game of the season. Under Santino’s uncertain leadership they lose 41–7. In the owner’s box, Kristy wonders what happens when the Bulls lose. T.D. tells her that when you lose, the fans chop off your head. Well, T.D. would know something about that.

In the locker room, Vito approaches T.D. and says Del Greco is dead. His name is now Johnny Gunn, and he is going to be the new quarterback of the California Bulls. T.D. gives him a shot because “Johnny Gunn… that sounds like a quarterback to me!”

Meanwhile, Bubba is stunned to learn his wife is cheating on him. Zagreb is tricked into a phony stock scheme. It turns out Billy and Dr. Death set him up as revenge for Zagreb’s tell-all memoir.

After the Bulls went undefeated last season, it was kind of nice to see them lose this week. It’s always more fun to root for the underdogs. As you probably already guessed, the most interesting thing about this episode is the introduction of a young, intense, rather skinny Chris Meloni as Vito Del Greco, a.k.a. Johnny Gunn. Meloni even had hair. That’s how old this episode is.

Will Johnny lead the Bulls back to the championship game? We’ll see.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 8.10 “By Hook or by Crook/Revenge with the Proper Stranger/Don’t Get Mad, Get Even”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love, life’s sweetest reward….

Episode 8.10 “By Hook or by Crook/Revenge with the Proper Stranger/Don’t Get Mad, Get Even”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on November 17th, 1984)

Missy (Heidi Bohay) boards the boat with her husband, Jack (William R. Moses).  Missy is upset that Jack had an affair so she decides to even score by having one of her own.  She also decides that it should be with the biggest loser on the ship, the better to make Jack feel bad.  She selects Lester (Ken Kercheval), who is loud and obnoxious and wears an old timey nightshirt to bed.  Lester is convinced that he’s a legendary lover.  However, he never gets a chance to prove it to Missy because Missy ultimately decides to forgive her husband.  That’s probably for the best.

Consumer advocate Marvin Cooperman (Ray Buketencia) is upset when his wife, Carol (Jan Smithers), take an advertising job with the owner of Ms. Brown’s Brownies, Ellen Brown (Devon Erickson).  Eventually, Marvin realizes that he needs to stop devoting all of his time to work and that Carol has every right to pursue a career of her own.  Marvin takes over the Acapulco Lounge to let all the passengers on the ship know that he loves his wife and that Ms. Brown’s Brownies are the best.  I guess Marvin was meant to be a less evil version of Ralph Nader.

Finally, Judy is feeling depressed about her divorce.  When she falls for a handsome, bearded passenger named Mike (Patrick Wayne), it looks like she’s finally got something to be happy about.  However, Gopher worries that there’s something strange about Mike.  What is Mike trying to hide?  In fact, why is Mike using the name Mike when his actual name is Sam?  Could Mike be a criminal!?  No, actually, Mike is an FBI agent and he’s using a fake name so he can safely go on vacation without the cartels trying to assassinate him.  Gopher feels dumb.  Judy’s in love.  But seriously …. this guy has got a contract out on his life.  Don’t get too attached, Judy!  This story would have been great if Lauren Tewes was still on the show.  Pat Klous is fine as Judy but the character just doesn’t have the same sibling chemistry with Gopher and Isaac that Julie did.

This cruise goes in the pleasant but forgettable file.  There was nothing particularly bad about it but there wasn’t really anything great about it either.  It was The Love Boat on autopilot and the ocean was lovely.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 4.18 “Thicker Than Water”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the Pumpkin Man strikes!  It’s even dumber than it sounds.

Episode 4.18 “Thicker Than Water”

(Dir by Scott Lautanen, originally aired on March 21st, 1999)

A mob lawyer and his wife have been murdered, and for some reason the bicycle patrol is investigating the case instead of Homicide. When it becomes apparent that the lawyer’s son, Andy Jr. (Scotty Cox), has disappeared, Cory makes it her mission to track him down. This is yet another episode where Cory is willing to do whatever it takes to solve the case. Of course, in Cory’s case, that usually means walking around and glaring at people.

Cory discovers that Andy Jr. is with his real mother, a stripper named Angela (Angela Marsden). Angela was the dead lawyer’s mistress. When Cory tracks down Angela, she learns that Andy doesn’t know his father is dead, but he does know that “the Pumpkin Man” came to the house. Meanwhile, the FBI sends over an agent who is big and bald… JUST LIKE THE LEAD SINGER OF SMASHING PUMPKINS!

You may think that I’m making this up, but no, it’s very, very true. Andy calls the killer the Pumpkin Man because he thinks the killer looks like Billy Corgan. When he sees the FBI agent, Andy shouts, “The Pumpkin Man! SMASHING PUMPKINS!”

Because Cory is currently in hiding with Angela, the bicycle patrol decides to go undercover. Monica gets a job dancing at the strip club. Well, of course she does. Whenever T.C. says that someone is going undercover, that means Monica is going to be looking for clues while undressed. One of the more annoying things about this season is that Monica always does a good job while she’s undercover, but no one ever gives her any credit for it. Instead, the other members of the bike patrol just roll their eyes and give an exasperated sigh whenever Monica says something. If they have a problem with Monica constantly flirting with all of the bad guys, they might want to talk to T.C., since he’s the one who keeps assigning her to do it.

This episode was dumb even by Pacific Blue standards. I already mentioned that it makes no sense for a bunch of uniformed bicycle cops to be investigating a high-profile murder. It also doesn’t really make any sense for a bike cop to go undercover at a strip club. I mean, isn’t that what Vice is for? There’s also a moment where T.C. tells off the FBI for trying to interfere with the investigation. I think the FBI ranks higher than the bike patrol. Finally, the kid playing young Andy was an absolutely lousy actor, and that crooked FBI agent may have been bald, but he still didn’t look that much like Billy Corgan.

Someday I’m going to run out of Pacific Blue episodes to review. It can’t come soon enough.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 2.17 “Wanna Bet?”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, we’re back at the ranch.

Episode 2.17 “Wanna Bet?”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 5th, 1994)

Uncle Lester and Cousin Clint are out-of-town for some reason and Screech has been left in charge of the dude ranch.

This is already the stupidest episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class yet.

It’s up to Screech to set up the end-of-the-week square dance but when he gets to be too bossy, Mr. Belding refuses to work with him.  Screech tells Lindsay to tell Belding that he’s no longer speaking to him.  Lucky Mr. Belding.

Less lucky are the members of the Gang, who are hustled by two con artists and lose all of their summer earnings in a crooked poker game.  Megan has a crush on one of the con artists but she changes her mind when he refuses to give back the money.  Luckily, the sheriff is looking for the con artists so all Screech and Belding have to do is keep them from leaving the ranch, which they do by challenging the con artists to a poker game.  Screech is such a bad poker player that the sheriff arrives before the first hand has even been successful dealt.

Belding hopes that the Gang has learned an important lesson about gambling.  Tommy D swears that he’s never going to gamble again.

“You can bet on it!” Bobby says.

I think I lost brain cells watching this crap.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 6.7 “This Year’s Riot”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, it’s Balboa Day!

Episode 6.7 “This Year’s Riot”

(Dir by Richard A. Colla, originally aired on November 28th, 1982)

It’s Balboa Day weekend, and that means the beach is going to be full of drama and bikinis.  (Full disclosure: Before this episode, I had never heard of Balboa Day before.  I guess it’s a California thing.) Ponch and Bobby are assigned to keep an eye on things on a small island off the California coast. When an irate homeowner pulls a shotgun on teenagers who keep trespassing on his property, it’s up to Ponch and Bobby to talk him down before someone gets hurt. When a wealthy woman (Julie Newmar) tries to establish a nude beach, it’s up to the Highway Patrol to tell everyone to put some clothes on.

Meanwhile, Doc (Gary Morgan) is selling drugs on the beach and causing trouble. He even sells some to Grossman’s socially awkward nephew, Russell (Robbie Rist). Luckily, Ponch is there to chase Doc down. When Doc makes it onto a barge, he thinks he’s escaped. He grins and mockingly waves goodbye. Ponch rides his motorcycle off the dock, glides through the air, and lands on the barge.

“And he calls me a hot dog!” Bobby says, watching.

And really, that’s all Bobby can do. It’s certainly not as if Bobby or any other member of the Highway Patrol would have been allowed to take down the episode’s main villain. That’s not how things work when Ponch is around. When Larry Wilcox said that he was tired of the producers always favoring Erik Estrada and left after season 5, the producers could have taken that as a sign that the show didn’t always have to be exclusively the Ponch Show. Instead, they appear to have learned the opposite lesson. During the sixth and final season, the series is more about Ponch than ever. Of course, in the role of Bobby, Tom Reilly isn’t exactly the most convincing cop in the world. He comes across as a bit spacey, like a California beach bum who somehow got through the Police Academy. Larry Wilcox was always believable as a cop. When it came to riding a motorcycle and looking manly while writing tickets, Wilcox could easily keep up with Estrada. Reilly, on the other hand, always seems like he’d rather be surfing.

Ponch gets the bad guy in this one and makes the beach safe for people of all ages. Seriously, is there anything Ponch can’t do? As for the episode itself, it was bland but likable, largely because of the beach scenery. Robbie Rist is best remembered for playing Cousin Oliver on The Brady Bunch. He’s even more annoying as Russell here. Not only is he rude to his uncle, he’s also dumb enough to take drugs before trying to go sailing. What a dummy. It’s a good thing this is the Ponch Show and Ponch can do no wrong. Otherwise, Russell would have been in a lot of trouble.

Next week, Ponch falls in love.

Retro Television Review: Crime Story 1.18 “The Survivor”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Crime Story, which ran on NBC from 1986 to 1988.  The entire show can be found on Tubi!

This week, a future Oscar winner briefly joins the cast.

Episode 1.18 “The Survivor”

(Dir by Alan Myerson, originally aired on February 13th, 1987)

Torello has managed to get an undercover FBI agent into Luca’s casino. Jack Claymore (James Gammon) is a tough, rough-hewn character who immediately befriends Pauli. The only thing that both Torello and Jack worry about is that someone Jack previously busted might get hired at the casino and blow Jack’s cover. Abrams’s assistant, Steve Altman (William Converse-Roberts), has been assigned to keep an eye on who Luca is hiring.

Steve, however, is a bit distracted by the fact that Torello is dating his ex-wife, Lisa (Hannah Cox). When Steve married Lisa, he adopted her teenage daughter, Tracy (played by a very young Julia Roberts). Tracy, however, hates Steve. When Lisa reads Tracy’s diary, she discovers why: Steve spent their entire marriage sexually abusing Tracy.

When Torello confronts Abrams with this information, Abrams offers to kick Steve off the task force, but Torello is worried about the publicity. (Is he worried about Tracy having to testify, or is he worried about the task force being exposed? The episode doesn’t make it clear, but knowing Torello, it’s possible that both things are true.)

For his part, Steve gets so angry and distracted that Jack’s cover is nearly blown when someone he previously arrested shows up at the casino without warning. Luckily, a member of Torello’s old MCU, Nate Grossman (Steve Ryan), just happens to be at the casino, so Jack punches him out and gets himself arrested. Luca is impressed that Jack hit a cop and, as a result, Jack moves up in the casino’s hierarchy.

As for Steve, he has a psychotic break. He breaks into Torello’s apartment and, while holding a tape recorder, demands that Tracy say she was lying about him. Terrified, Tracy does so. However, everything about the way Steve talks to her and the way Tracy reacts proves that she didn’t lie at all. After a high-speed chase with Torello, Steve kills himself in his motel room.

There’s an interesting moment toward the end of the episode where a Las Vegas detective insinuates that Torello murdered Steve and made it look like a suicide. When Abrams and the rest of the former MCU members object, Torello tells them to stop. “He’s just doing what I would do,” Torello says. It’s a moment that reminds us that being a cop means trusting no one.

This is a powerful episode. It was also Julia Roberts’s very first role. There’s not much about her performance that would make you think she was destined to become a big star. She was obviously inexperienced when it came to acting on camera. That said, her awkwardness is perfect for the character.

This episode ends with Lisa and Tracy leaving Vegas. Torello, once again, is alone. His only constant companion is his obsession with Ray Luca.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 3.9 “Against All Odds”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Emma and Manny go to a rave and have another big fight.

Episode 3.9 “Against All Odds”

(Dir by Stefan Scaini, originally aired on November 5th, 2003)

When Ms. Kwan asks Sean for his thoughts on Julius Caesar, he dismisses Shakespeare as someone who has no relevance to his life. Another student, Chris Sharpe (Daniel Morrison), speaks up and says he loved the play because it was all about betrayal. Ms. Kwan says she’s glad Chris got something out of it. Chris replies, “Unlike my friend Slim Shady over there, I actually read the play.”

That’s all it takes for Emma to decide that she’s in love.

Manny is super excited about the idea of attending a rave. (Woo hoo!) According to the flyer, the DJ is going to be DJ Jacob Sharpe, Chris’s cousin, who always lets Chris spin at least one set at every rave. Manny convinces Emma to come with her. She also convinces Emma to actually dress up. Emma puts on a blue top and a knee-length pink skirt and then worries that her modest outfit is going to make everyone look at her. Manny, who has fully embraced her new wardrobe of crop tops and visible thongs, tells her that the idea is to get people to look at her. Emma and Manny sneak out of Emma’s basement bedroom to go to the rave. As Emma explains it, she doesn’t want her mom to see her new outfit. Personally, I think it’s more probable that it was Amanda Stepto’s week off and the show’s producers needed an excuse for why Spike, for once, is not clinging to her daughter and demanding to be her best friend.

The rave is kind of lame, and Chris doesn’t really seem to be that great of a DJ, but he sure is excited to see Emma. He even forgives her after she trips over a wire and unplugs his sound system. The only problem is that Chris has a girlfriend, and Emma doesn’t believe in cheating. Manny, however, does believe in cheating, which is why she invites Craig to the rave and then abandons Emma, heads back to the Nelson/Simpson household, and ends up fooling around with Craig in the basement. When Emma finally arrives home (she had to take a cab), she stumbles in on Manny and Craig and, needless to say, she is not happy. Normally this is where I would make a joke about Emma never being happy, but for once Emma is kind of justified in being upset.

Meanwhile, Marco and Spinner go over to Jimmy’s apartment so they can study for an important test. Spinner is worried that Marco is going to hit on him, and then he’s offended when Marco informs him that he isn’t Marco’s type.

The next day, Spinner is ready for his test. Yay! However, Emma is not ready to forgive Manny. When Manny lets it slip that she and Craig have been cheating for a while, Emma accuses Manny of not caring that Craig is dating Ashley. Manny says she doesn’t want to be Emma’s friend anymore. She calls Emma a judgmental prude, and Manny isn’t wrong. Emma then replies that she’s not interested in being friends with the “school slut.”

OUCH!

Oh, this episode. There was a lot about it that left me cringing because it brought back a lot of memories of my own time in high school. (Let’s just say that I was very much aware of how to climb out of my second-story window and make it to the ground without breaking my ankle, and leave it at that.) On the one hand, Emma has every right to be upset over Manny ditching her at the rave and then using her basement as a place to hook up with Craig. On the other hand, from the very first episode of Degrassi, Emma has basically been ordering Manny around and freaking out anytime Manny showed the slightest hint of independence. (Remember when Emma threw a fit just because Manny wanted to join the Spirit Squad?) Emma has spent two and a half seasons giving people the Emma Nelson Death Stare, and Manny has every right to be tired of it. Emma continually demands to be allowed to live her own life and make her own decisions, but when Manny does the same thing, Emma calls her a slut. In the end, Emma’s the hypocrite here.

As for the Spinner/Jimmy/Marco storyline, it was cute. I like anything involving Spinner, and it always amuses me how, whenever anyone goes to Jimmy’s apartment, the show uses the exact same ominous establishing shot of a huge building set off a freeway. Jimmy’s parents are rich and they’re never around, and the inside of the apartment is always oddly dark, as if Jimmy is scared to turn on all the lights. In this episode, Jimmy spends most of his time watching an adult movie on his television. “Thank God for satellite!” he says, before adding, “You are looking at the future Mrs. Jimmy Brooks.” It’s one of those things that probably wouldn’t be memorable except for the fact that Jimmy is being played by Drake.

As for Chris, he’s a nice guy, but even in this episode it was already obvious that Emma was just using him as a substitute for Sean.

This was a good episode, but it ended on a dark note. Allow me to lighten things up by noting that the episode is named after a song by Phil Collins. The summer after I graduated from high school, my sisters and I took a trip to Europe. While we were in Switzerland, we stayed in a ski lodge. Our host told us that the chateau next door was rumored to belong to Phil Collins. That night, I went out on the balcony of my room and noticed that there was a light on in the chateau. At the top of my lungs, I started to sing, “Well, take a look at me now!” I wasn’t really sure how the whole song went, so I mostly just focused on the chorus and tossed in a few lyrics from “In the Air Tonight.” The light in the chateau went dark while I was singing. Did Phil Collins personally turn off the living room light while I was singing? I have no way of definitively saying, but .… yeah, I’m pretty sure he did.

Next week on Degrassi, Rick Murray shows his true colors and sets in motion a drama that won’t be resolved until halfway through the fourth season.